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“No… no, please! NyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHG–”

You jerk upright to the sound of a woman being torn apart, almost losing your breath in the process. A string of drool drips from the drips from the corner of your mouth into the growing puddle your hand currently occupies on the cold flagstone floor. Shaking the sleep from your tired eyes, you glance around trying to ascertain the source of the blood-curdling shriek.

Well, you try to, at least. It only takes a few moments of careful inspection to realize you’re in no position to be helping out screaming girls, let alone yourself–as the musty scent of mildew tickles your flared nostrils and a frosty breeze kicks the remaining weariness out of your body, it dawns on you just how DARK it is in this room…

Like, wow.

Blinking a few times just to be sure, your mind drifts to other more pressing matters when you come to another chilling realization:

You have no damn clue how you got here!

Throat buzzing as if you’d spent the whole day yelling and your ears ringing like church bells, you feel scraps of details flutter around your dazed mind like confetti at a party–innumerable and a pain in the butt to clean up.

Mentally snatching one of the pieces out of the air, you feel an important detail come back to you… and as you sit up to digest the info properly, you recall that you are…

>Male
>Female

And your name is…

>Write-In Your Name!
>>
>>6095278
>Male
>Anton
I'm gonna be honest, I have no idea for the name.
>>
>>6095278
>Male
>Pariah
>>
>>6095278
>Female
>Noah
>>
>>6095278
>Male
>Anton
I like Anton.
>>
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>>6095279
>>6095288
>Anton

>>6095281
>Pariah

>>6095285
>Noah

Anton it is! Let's get this ball rollin'! Writing!
>>
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Anton… yea, that’s your name. Feels pretty familiar now that you let it leave your dry lips a few times… Anton…
… wait, do you have a last name? Is ‘Anton’ a pseudonym? Crap!

Shaking your head in frustration, you feel your shaggy, matted hair flop around on your shoulders–you must have had a rough sleep based on how sweaty and tired you feel. Grabbing a handful of what feels like one of your oversized sleep shirts, you air out your stomach as you give your butt a lazy scratch.

With your name now plastered back into the surface of your brain, you’re free to follow other worthy pursuits, chief among them the fact that you’re STILL in a cold, dark, musty room that smells like black mold and ozone. You don’t even know what the hell ozone is, but you’re pretty sure you can smell it!

Rising to your bare, shaky feet, you flinch as your heel comes in contact with a pool of warm liquid–one you’re pretty certain ain’t drool. Drawing on your immense well of masculine power, a falsetto ‘EEEEH!’ escapes your drool-caked lips as your reflexes carry you out of the puddle and onto what feels like a line drawn in…

CANDLE WAX? Who can say?

This would be way easier if your damn eyes adjusted already–you never paid much attention in science class, but you vaguely remember that your eyes are supposed to adjust to low light eventually… that or your eyes are supposed to transform. Your memory’s still foggy.

In any case, the dark room doesn’t answer any questions you have, instead remaining content with judging you in a way only a drafty, impassive room can.

What do?

>Call out for help! If this is a prank then it sucks!
>Inspect the wax a bit closer!
>Check out that gross puddle on the floor! It’s still warm, eeeeeww!
>Scour the room for loot and items… maybe there’s a clue in here?
>Try to unearth some more memories!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6095335
>>Check out that gross puddle on the floor! It’s still warm, eeeeeww!
>>
>>6095335
>>Try to unearth some more memories!
Backstory time.
>>
>>6095335
>Scour the room for loot and items… maybe there’s a clue in here?
>>
>>6095335
>Try to unearth some more memories!
>>
>>6095353
>Ponder the puddle

>>6095367
>Ransack the room

>>6095364
>>6095369
>Mine up some memories!

We'll get to the other two in a sec, but it looks like reminiscing is first on the docket.

>Roll me 3d100 to see how clear you can get! Best of 3, that means 1d100 per player!
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>6095379
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>6095379
Occult summoning gone wrong? Who can say?

Us, hopefully.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>6095379
Let's remember EVERYTHING
>>
>>6095383
>>6095389
>>6095393
Jesus Christ, save some good rolls for the rest of the quest you goddamn maniacs.

Writing!
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>6095395
>save some good rolls for the rest of the quest
no!
>>
>>6095395
I plan on having every roll be a good roll from now until the end of the quest. It’s a flawless plan.

Assumptions? What are those? I clearly can’t have them if I don’t know what they are!
>>
>>6095411
exactly. i dont know what "ignorance" is and i dont intend to find out.
>>
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As much as you’d like to say you’re no stranger to waking up in strange situations, you know that’d be a complete and utter lie. This is definitely a first for Anton…

Anton… Peas…. yes, you DO have a last name! You knew it! Spurred on by your success in remembering your name, you dare to delve a little deeper! Donning the most contemplative face you can muster under duress, you rack your fuzzy head trying to remember any detail you can about how you came to… wherever this place is.

You were definitely sleeping when this happened, that much is certain: you wearing one of your finest SLEEP SHIRTS makes that clear enough… but the lack of gunfire outside and your roommate playing video games tells you this can’t possibly be your apartment! By all accounts it’s an improvement.

Suddenly some wires connect inside your head with a little help from the wax on the floor and the scent of ozone in the air (Whatever that is): your memory whisks you back to late last night… or maybe this night… you were in your bed tired from a long shift at… your job?

It was hot in your room, that much was certain… hot enough for you to want to get some water from the bathroom faucet. As you tumbled out of bed, however, you found yourself falling as if in a dream… and the next thing you knew–

Your mind closes like a steel trap on what happens next and rewards your introspection with a throbbing headache and another mortifying realization:

YOUR JOB! YOU HAVE A SHIFT TOMORROW MORNING!

Panic settles in as your bare foot scuffs the flagstone beneath you–how could you forget your shift at GREASE MONKEY: YOUR ONE-STOP SHOP FOR DEEP-FRIED EVERYTHING!? Lars is gonna KILL you if you’re late again… he might even have to wear…

...The Suit….

You’ve gotta get out of here and fast. Wherever you ended up sleepwalking it’s definitely not in the same area code as your job. Maybe if you can track down your phone you can scamper home and change?

Rising to your feet with newfound motivation, you turn your attention to what you can see:

Nothing.

You can certainly feel, however, and as you gingerly take a few steps over to where your bare foot dipped into the warm puddle, you cautiously plop your least favorite finger into the mystery fluid…

Warm. Semi-viscous. Reminds you of the oil that always leaks underneath the deep fryers at work. You allow yourself a brief smile as you come to the conclusion that the liquid isn’t piss–if your pee felt like this you’d have bigger problems…

Well, unless this is someone else’s pee, in which case they have bigger problems.

Moving in to get a whiff, your leg is suddenly assaulted by a CRAMP that sends you tumbling head over heels into the puddle… and something ELSE!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6095649
Soft, feathery, and human-shaped–that’s your appraisal as you tactlessly fumble into the object. Scrambling to get off whatever you landed on, your blood goes ice-cold when your hand connects with the source of the liquid… a jagged, meaty cut where something used to sit between two very shoulder-like protrusions!

Scurrying away as quickly as you can, you slam your head against a cold, solid wall of stone. Whatever the hell it was you touched, it’s dead--unless it can survive without what you assume was its head!

As the gravity of the situation slowly weighs down upon you, you can’t help but wonder who it was that performed the butchery in the room… or what!

Moreover, is it still here with you? Did… did YOU kill it!?

You’re starting to freak out.

Taking a steadying breath, you creep back over to the corpse and give it a thorough examination. The body is taller than you, give or take, and while it seems pretty human, you can’t get over the sparse clumps of feathers on the body’s slowly-cooling forearms and legs. Whoever this was is wearing a PLUSH ROBE covered in wood trinkets and baubles giving you the image of some kind of LARPER! The thought sends a shiver down your spine.

Amidst the forest of gizmos and geewgaws sewn onto the soiled robe your hand brushes against some PARCHMENT poking out from one of the garment’s many pockets! Snatching it up in your hand, you immediately drop the paper when your thumb and forefinger come in contact with something hot!

Your second try goes a little better–ensuring you don’t grab the toasty end, you bring the parchment close to your eyes and begin to read it!

Or you would if it wasn’t so damn dark. Cripes, this is gonna be a problem, isn’t it? Just as you start to feel sorry for yourself, your fingers brush against a particularly BUMPY section of the parchment and it clicks–this is some weird paper they’ve got here.

With no pockets to utilize, you jam the SMOLDERING BUMPY PARCHMENT into your boxer short waistband for the time being. You briefly consider pilfering the PLUSH ROBE too until you remember it was worn by a LARPER--you don’t want to catch something.

As you rise to your feet once more, you feel your toe bump against something cold and hard on the floor… something metal. Picking it up, you nearly cut yourself on a sharp edge. A DAGGER!

Man, these guys were really roleplaying, huh?

Stowing the LARP DAGGER next to the SMOLDERING BUMPY PARCHMENT, you rub your eyes a few more times just to be sure you haven’t gone blind. No dice.

A frigid breeze blows from the far side of the room…

What do?
>Call for help! There’s been a murder, probably!
>Take the PLUSH ROBE anyways!
>Try to glean some more info from the SMOLDERING BUMPY PARCHMENT!
>Sneak into the next room!
>Listen to the wind! Are you alone?
>Write-In!
>>
>>6095650
>Take the PLUSH ROBE anyways!
>Sneak into the next room!
>>
>>6095650
>Try to glean some more info from the SMOLDERING BUMPY PARCHMENT!
>Listen to the wind! Are you alone?
>>
>>6095650
>>Take the PLUSH ROBE anyways!
>>Sneak into the next room!
>>
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>>6095655
>>6095704
>ROBE
>SNEAK

>>6095663
>LEARN
>LISTEN

Looks like grabbing THE ROBE and sneaking wins it! Late on my end so here's the last request for the night:
>Roll me 1d100+5 (+5 STEALTHY OUTFIT) to see how much your stealth pays off! Best of 3 rolls, please!

In regards to updates, expect weekday updates to happen around 6pm Mountain Time! Seeya then and thanks for playing! Enjoy some concept art in the meantime.
>>
Rolled 87 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>6095770
Roll
>>
Rolled 1 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>6095770
>>
>>6095810
Shit yes, first Nat 1 of the quest! Going forward 1's and 100's will be Crit-Fails and Crit-Successes, so watch out for those. This time around I'll just make it a not-as-chaotic-fail so long as no one rolls a 100. Watch out!
>>
Rolled 27 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>6095770
>>
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>>6095810
Well, this is going to be some early 'excitement'. At least we're getting it out of our system early, right? Hahaha...
>>
>>6095778
>>6095810
>>6095872
>HIGHEST ROLLS:
>NEVERMIND, FUCKIN' CRITFAIL
Writing!

>>6096213
>Out of our system
Anon... you saw what happened in Slice..
>>
>>6096481
>what happened in Slice...
Oh, you mean when our partly my repeated critfails almost killed bestgirl? Haha, ha, well, what are the chances THAT could happen again?
>>
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With each passing second you spend in the room with the mysterious corpse, you find yourself wondering more and more where the murderer could be. You’re no detective, but you’ve played a few detective games…

… okay, they were detective dating sims, but the point still stands. Based on how warm the body is as well as the blood oozing out of it, you’d wager whoever did this is relatively close.

Whether it’s due to anxiety, some odd sense of practicality, or just your run-of-the-mill panic, you get to work stripping the corpse of its PLUSH ROBE and immediately regret your decision when you find it to be marinated in blood.

Bloodborne pathogens are the least of your concern right now, though, so being the paragon of sympathy you are, you pull the robe over your head and leave the corpse headless and pretty much naked. You don’t have the heart to loot the body’s underwear.

The garment is a little big for you, but you’d be lying if it wasn’t PLUSH! Waving your hands around a few times just in case of magic, you abandon the endeavor when nothing happens. At least no one can see you fooling around!

As you ponder your next action, some motivation comes in the form of a sound in the next room over… at least, you think it’s the next room over. A low growl, by your estimation, followed by something akin to when your neighbor feeds his dog leftover chili.

DAGGER in hand, you creep as quietly as your bare feet can take you towards the source of the sound. As you do, however, you take a step into a patch of something that burns your foot like embers off a campfire! A surprised yelp escapes your lips as you stumble and stub your toe on a stone doorframe, and with both feet in pain you tumble head-over-heels into what you can only assume is the next room!

STUBBED TOE COUNTER: 1

Flopping into yet ANOTHER pitch-black room like a tumbleweed through a nail salon, you land in a heap on top of a nice, fuzzy cushion and take a moment to tend to both your burned and stubbed toes. Maybe this was a lounge of some kind?

Your answer comes in the form of a trio of sounds straight out of your nightmares: deep, aggressive click-clacking not unlike a dinosaur would make. Y’know, like in that movie!

Sitting up from the fuzzy chair, you feel hot breath wash over your face as its owner greets you with a menacing CLACK of a beak of some kind, prompting two other clicks to follow suit!

Diving to the floor just in time to feel one of the clickers pounce at where you just were, you grip your DAGGER close to your chest as you bump against yet another corpse–this one in the process of being eaten!

Looks like you interrupted a feast…

As you struggle to regain your footing, you hear a trio of beaks clicking around you…

>Roll me 1d100-10 (-5 Flatfooted, -5 Dark) to not get got! Best of 3 Rolls!
>>
Rolled 17 - 10 (1d100 - 10)

>>6096511
>>
Rolled 23 - 10 (1d100 - 10)

>>6096511
>>
Rolled 27 - 10 (1d100 - 10)

>>6096511
>>
>>6096513
>>6096517
>>6096529
>Highest Roll: 17!
Well this was a fun quest! Thanks for joining, guys! Writing!
>>
>>6096511
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>6096532
Trying again
>>
>>6096531
>>
>>6096531
Glad to be part of it! I’m looking forward to DARK QUEST 2 with ANTOINETTE BEANS as the sequel.
>>
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Bracing yourself for the inevitable attack, a thought occurs–maybe if you play deaAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Yea no that didn’t work. Sinking its beak into your tasty arm meat, the creature wastes no time in sampling your flesh and blood not unlike your aunt’s macaw used to do. Granted, Cinnamon bit you all the time, but it never hurt THIS bad! Putting way more effort into your shriek of pain than you did a strategy, you totally forget about the DAGGER in your hand and start punching your biter in the fuzzy, matted body!

Panic is one hell of a drug.

Not to be outdone, the monster’s pals each take one of your legs and start gnawing on them too, prompting you to go into WHIRLWIND MODE, aka where you flail about until something lets go.

It works, to a degree… somewhere in the middle of the fracas one of the beasts nips another, prompting the two to get into a quick turf war. The two tumble into the one still latched onto your arm, dislodging its serrated beak from your flesh just long enough for you to scramble away like a coked-up hamster!

Bloodied, bitten, but not beaten, you feel something awaken inside you as you steady your grip on the DAGGER... some kind of hidden potential you never knew you had!

… no wait, it’s just crying. You’re crying.

At the very least the beaked baddie’s dispute has afforded you a little time to strategize! What do!?

>Stab ‘Em!
>Try to slink away in the confusion!
>Light ‘em up with some of that invisible fire on the ground!
>Call for help!
>Loot one of the corpses for something useful!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6096551
>Light ‘em up with some of that invisible fire on the ground!
Invisible fire... I wonder if we're just blind?
>>
>>6096561
>LIGHT 'EM UP!
Let's see some more rolls, folks!
>Roll 1d100-7 (-5 Dark, -5 Injured, +3 Follow the Flames) to see how you do! Best of 3!
>>6096561
>Blind
Gonna have to live long enough to find out!
>>
Rolled 6 - 7 (1d100 - 7)

>>6096607
>>
Rolled 24 + 7 (1d100 + 7)

>>6096607
WATCH THIS AHHHHHHHHHHH
>>
Rolled 77 - 7 (1d100 - 7)

>>6096607
>Gonna have to live long enough to find out!
These rolls aren't making that look too likely. You might legit need to switch to a quest with an undead protagonist or start again with a new character, kek.
>>
Rolled 87 - 7 (1d100 - 7)

>>6096607
Let's see if someone can't salvage this.
>>
>>6096615
Anton Peas doesn't die THAT easy, damn it! We barely know anything about him, but I know that much!

>>6096609
>>6096613
>>6096615
>HIGHEST ROLL: 70
That'll do! Writing!
>>
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Your foot still stings from your encounter with the flames by the entrance–the ones that didn’t seem to illuminate the room at all, but had no trouble toasting your toes! They felt real enough, sure, but what’s their deal anyways? Could they be…

GHOST FLAMES?!

The paranormal investigation will have to go on hold for now. Following the faint sound of crackling and the heat, you manage to locate another pile of burning debris and snatch some up in your hand!

Flinging it in the hound huddle’s general direction, you allow yourself a quick fist pump when you hear the alpha dog yelp in surprise! Chucking the rest of the burning bric-a-brac at your assailants, your persistence pays off when you hear them scamper off into what you can only assume is a hole in the wall…

As the chamber goes quiet again, your victory holler is cut short by the post-adrenaline pain in your wounds! Clutching your still-oozing arm, you press your PLUSH ROBE against it and rise to your feet.

The beaked bastards may be gone, you think to yourself, but they’ll be back… you add a little nod to the end of your statement for good measure before continuing onward. As you move to see where your attackers went, however, you stub your toe on something even BIGGER and MORE METAL than your DAGGER!

STUBBED TOE COUNT: 2

Stumbling like a drunk at a wedding, you’re just about to regain your balance when you stumble over ANOTHER object: This one made of some kind of LEATHER! You don’t even bother trying after that–letting gravity carry you forwards, you ultimately lose your footing when you trip over a THIRD obstacle–one very similar to the one you encountered in the previous room!

You’ve had quite a few goofy pratfalls today, so getting up and recovering doesn’t take you much time. Still clutching your robe’s sleeve close to your wound, you take your time investigating the stuff you tripped over…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6096644
All bodies. All humanoid like the last one. The biggest difference is the state of the corpses–if you had to guess you’d say the monsters that just tried to eat you did quite a number on these guys… that said, you’re not sure how those beaky bastards could decapitate everyone… given your performance in your last scrap, however, you’re glad you haven’t run into anyone else yet.

One body is covered in thick armor–the kind made from a bunch of metal SCALES woven together. You give it a little shake and it jingles in response… a little armor couldn’t hurt right now, but it is a little noisier than your current ensemble. As you lift the stiff’s arm, you feel something resembling a HILT at his side… a quick patdown reveals it to be some kind of CURVED BLADE! You feel some kind of HANDLE too, but as you pick it up you feel some intense heat near your knuckles… guess someone torched the SHIELD.

The next body is… different, to say the least. Not in the sense that it was decapitated, of course, but that while the owners of these bodies seem to have clawed hands and patches of feathers on their bodies, this one, well…

Based on the design on the leather armor’s chest region you get the feeling this might’ve been a lady… that assumption checks out when a further assessment confirms that this outfit is lacking coverage of the thighs. Still, LEATHER ARMOR is leather armor, and as you continue to examine the gear, respectfully and tactfully, of course, you find countless THROWING DAGGERS stuffed into the armor’s many pouches!

The last corpse boasts a robe similar to your own, but hidden away in its pocket sits a few BELLS–ABOUT 10 to be precise. Giving them a little jingle, you can’t help but smile at how they all make the same exact tone. Weird stuff! You also find some more of that wacky BUMPY PARCHMENT. They must really like this stuff.

As you shamelessly loot the bodies, you feel another draft blow in across the room and away from where the beaked things departed. Things still don’t seem to be getting any brighter, but at least you’re making progress, right?

… you’re gonna be so late for your shift…

What’s next on the docket?
>Call for help!
>Put on the Scale Mail!
>Wear the Leather Armor! No one’s gonna see you!
>Investigate where the Beak Monsters went!
>Follow the wind!
>Head back to the other room!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6096646
>Wear the Leather Armor! No one’s gonna see you!
>>
>>6096646
>Wear the Leather Armor! No one’s gonna see you!
Bet the bumps are braille or something.
>>
>>6096649
>>6096652
>The Rogue's Gambit!
Writing the last update of the night! Should have more on Wednesday around 6pm Mountain Time--seeya then!
>>
>>6096681
Thanks for running, QM!
>>
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Hey, any port in a storm, right? Manhandling the corpse with your now usual amount of delicacy and care, you unceremoniously flop the body out of the LEATHER ARMOR and strap it on. You’d be lying if you said it was the most comfortable thing you’ve ever worn, but once you snag the owner’s LEATHER BOOTS you feel a little better about the whole thing. You didn’t even have to shake that much corpse muck off of the stuff! Score!

Gathering up the remaining items in your many pockets, you ponder your next course of action. You’re a bit better armed now than you were before, but there’s no telling how long it’ll be before those BEAK FREAKS come back. You could take the fight to them, of course, or you could see if this place has an exit… or a room that isn’t pitch-goddamn-black!

The wind outside wherever you are picks up in speed…

What do?
>Call for help!
>Wait… Put the Scale Mail on!
>Investigate the Beak Freak hole!
>Follow the way the wind is coming from!
>Retreat to the other room!
>Write-In!

PASTEBIN UPDATED:
https://pastebin.com/xdk5kHyA

>>6096684
Thanks for giving it a try!
>>
>>6096691
>Wait… Put the Scale Mail on!
>>
>>6096691
>Put on plush robe over the leather armor!
Big pimpin.

>Follow the way the wind is coming from!
>>
>>6096691
Seconding this>>6096706
>>
>>6096691
>Investigate the Beak Freak hole!
>>
>>6096706
+1
>>
>>6096697
>WAIT, SCALE MAIL

>>6096706
>>6096715
>>6097057
>Antons have layers

>>6096717
>Seek the Beak

Writing!
>>
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Letting your PLUSH ROBE fall to the floor, an idea hits you after a moment of concentrated contemplation: wait a sec, you think aloud, you can LAYER this crap! Tugging the robe over your head once more, you can’t help but give yourself a nod of approval: all the benefits of LEATHER ARMOR and none of the awkwardness! Not to mention how comfortable you are!

Satisfied for now, you stride with renewed confidence in the direction the wind is blowing in from–the breeze scented with faint hints of coniferous trees and dampness characteristic of a coming rain squall.

At least it’ll be brighter, you retort to no one in particular. Using your CURVED BLADE as a walking stick, you carefully make your way up a long, winding staircase that, were you able to see anything, would probably tower over your head like the canopy of a vast, stone jungle.

The climb is rough thanks to the weathered steps–each one varying in shape and size making each step something of a guess rather than a regular motion. By the time you’ve reached what you can only hope is the summit of the staircase, you’re panting like a… well, a not very athletic guy after climbing a mountain of stairs.

You knew you should have signed up for that martial arts class…

Catching your breath, you can almost be certain you hear the sound of claws scratching from far below. Motivation restored, you beat a renewed retreat in the direction the wind is blowing from. As you continue, however, you feel a tile depress beneath your now-booted foot… followed by a dull ‘SHHHUNK’ from the wall!

>Roll me 1d100+1 (-5 Dark, +3 Leather Armor, +3 Renewed Motivation) to duck and weave whatever it is you just activated! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 75 + 1 (1d100 + 1)

>>6097437
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>6097437
I’m sure our PLUSH ROBE will let us glide through these arrow traps(?). Not even steel-tipped arrows can penetrate something of this comfort!
>>
Rolled 23 + 1 (1d100 + 1)

>>6097437
>>
>>6097458
>>6097459
>>6097467
>HIGHEST ROLL: 76!
That's the ticket! Writing!
>>6097459
Everything's worth trying once, right?
>>
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A smarter man would probably connect the dots here and recognize the correlation between stepping on the tile and the ‘SHHHHUNK’ coming from the wall. You are not a smarter man.

As the last few minutes of your misadventures have shown, however, you’re a pretty lucky man all things considered! Granted this whole situation you’ve found yourself in is pretty unlucky, but… well, you get the idea.

So rather than avoiding the remaining trap triggers, you instead just sprint as fast as your robed legs can take you across what you can only assume is a gauntlet of every nasty trap in the book… and a few that got stapled on later!

Arrows, darts, axes, large rocks, rotten fruit, you feel it all whiz past with killing intent as serrated blades lap at your heels and just overhead! A lick of flame and a spray of hissing fluids tickle your sides, but neither get a clear hit in! Ducking as you hear the creaking of a massive spiked ball on a chain, you allow yourself a quick sigh of relief as you hear it slam into some other trap creeping up behind you!

You sprint for what must be minutes before you realize the traps stop coming… part of yOW!

STUBBED TOE COUNTER: 3

Damn it… erm, part of you almost wants to look back at everything you dodged, but your head still sitting between your shoulders is enough of a reward!

… also you couldn’t see the damn traps if you wanted to. Man, what IS this place anyways?! Are you still indoors?!

As if listening in on your inner thoughts, your whole body is buffeted by a mighty gale, one that nearly sends you tumbling back into TRAP-O-RAMA! Steadying yourself on the wall, you quickly yank your hand away when it connects with another plume of flames! Where the hell are these COMING from?!

Nursing your hand, you take a few tentative steps out onto what you assume to be some kind of entry landing–a wide open, wind-worn space that must look pretty impressive… but as you take the first fresh breath of air you’ve had in a while, the small bit of solace you gain is drowned out by the sheer confusion you feel when your next few steps take you to the edge of a bluff…

And the view?

Pitch. Black.

Knocking a pebble by your feet over the edge, your fears are realized when you hear it impact on a rock shelf far below. You don’t want to believe it, but it’s hard not to at this point:

It’s not just the room you were in. It’s the whole goddamn world!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6097524
As you struggle to come to terms with just how utterly fucked you are, the sound of creaking wood takes you out of your self-pity sesh. Following it to its source, you nearly trip over the edge next to an ancient wooden bridge–the ones that always break apart in the movies.

Your options, you realize, are pretty slim–you can head back the way you came, of course, maybe try to find a way out past those BEAK BASTARDS... or you can take the bridge.

Call it selfish, but your arm still hurts from its brief stint as a chew toy.

You probably grip the rope handrails for one second before you appraise just how old they are–flecks of rope come off in your hand with each movement you make, each ‘kiss’ making your palms itch. Taking every step as if it were your last, you don’t put your entire weight on any wooden plank until you’re certain it’ll hold, and even then you find yourself skipping a few.

Slowly but surely getting into the ‘rhythm’ of the swaying bridge, you begin to hear the faint rush of water far below… maybe if you’re lucky you won’t hit any rocks when this death trap falls apart!

You’re just about to send a loogie on the raddest flight of its life when you hear it–something you haven’t heard in hours… something you had pretty much given up on since you arrived in… wherever you are.

OI!” Snarls a rough-and-tumble voice from far ahead, “Moron! This bridge is officially CLOSED!

Following the smug voice to its origin, your eyes meet with another pair idling next to what you assume is the end of the bridge–blood red in color and dotted with almost reptilian irises…

“Now be a good little cult boy and scurry back into your little temple, hm?” Continues the owner of the eyes in a singsong tone, “An’ make it quick-like fore’ I roast ya like the others!”

The first girl you’ve met and she’s already threatening to kill you. The more things change, the more they stay the same, huh, Anton?

What do?
>Listen to her! Head on back, forget it!
>Keep going. She’s bluffing!
>RUN FOR HER SIDE OF THE BRIDGE!
>Introduce yourself! Start a dialogue!
>Uhhhh COMPLIMENT her!
>Get her talking… maybe ask who the hell she is?
>THROW A DAGGER!
>Challenge her to a DUEL!
>Write-In!
>>
And on that happy note we're gonna call it for the night! Should have more for ya tomorrow around the usual 6pm Mountain Time! Sorry for the delay today--wind ended up fucking a gate up and I had to fix it. See ya next time!
>>
>>6097526
>Introduce yourself! Start a dialogue!
I'm not in a cult! I think I maybe got kidnapped by one, though. My name is Anton Peas.
>Get her talking… maybe ask who the hell she is?
Who the hell are you?
>>
>>6097526
>>Introduce yourself! Start a dialogue!
Keep it civil, they can see and we can't.
>>
>>6097526
>Introduce yourself! Start a dialogue!
>>
>>6097526
>Introduce yourself! Start a dialogue!
>>
>>6097526
>Introduce yourself! Start a dialogue!
>>
>>6097526
>Introduce yourself! Start a dialogue!
>Sit down next to the bridge and get comfy. You work in fast food, she stands by bridges you can’t see. You’re both fluent in KILLING TIME DURING DOWNTIME. Probably.
We may be the most interesting thing that’s happened to her today. As long as we’re not an asshole we can probably get through an introduction spiel and say things like
>I have no idea where I am.
>My home had a lot more light. Thanks for yelling at me, I could have walked next to the bridge instead of on it.
>Please don’t take advantage of that, I want to keep my insides inside.
>I got this from someone else. They, uh. Won’t be needing it back.
>Can I get directions to somewhere for the clueless? I’m pretty clueless right now.
>>
>>6097545
>>6097619
>>6097634
>>6097661
>>6097678
>>6097993
>DIPLOMANCE!

>>6097993
>WITH EXTRA DEETS, PLEASE!

Writing!
>>
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Your track record for winning fights isn’t so hot as of late, so you decide to take the path of what you hope is the least resistance and lean against the rope handrail. Hey, you begin, my name i-WOAHSHIT

Okay, maybe leaning on the rope isn’t a good idea. As you regain your balance, your introduction is met with a derisive snort!

“How interesting! Say, let me file that interesting factoid under ‘THINGS TO FORGET IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE I DON’T CARE!

The girl lets loose a derisive laugh that actually makes you feel kinda bad. Your name is actually Anton Peas and you have no idea where you a-

“Ah-ah-ah!” Tsks the girl as she probably wags her finger, “What did I just say about not caring? Are all of you cultists this stupid, or are you a special case?”

Wait a second, you stammer as you shake your head in growing confusion, cult? Is… did you wake up in a cult-

“That’s right, you REALLY screwed up this time, moron!” Snaps the bridge bully, “I bet you and your little playmates thought you were going to have a little fun… drink some wine, bark at the moon, summon a devil… well you didn’t summon ‘a devil’, worm!”

She pauses for a moment. If you could see her finger, you’d assume she was pointing it at you. Dramatically.

“You, my knuckledragging nincompoop, summoned the mighty REZALITH: DEMON QUEEN AND SCOURGE OF CHAAT’TAI! Look upon my form and DESPAIR!

It’s hard to look upon her form and DESPAIR when you can barely see your hands, but based on where her eyes are you get the feeling her form isn’t very tall. You don’t tell her this, of course.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6098336
Look, you sigh, you don’t know who she is or where she came fr-

CHAAT’TAI! THE RED PLANE!

Right, right, Pad Thai. The point is, you continue in a placating voice, you’re a newcomer here as well and can barely see-

“Save the backstory for someone who’s buyin’ it, MORON!” Snarls Rezalith with a click of her impressively-shiny teeth, “I can smell that crummy cult robe on you from a mile away, and guess what?! Your BINDING RITUAL didn’t work!”

You blink. Binding?

“Dwuuhhh, bwouuwwndwiiing??? Duuuhhhrrr?” She retorts in a voice that definitely doesn’t sound like yours, “Do you SEE me cooped up in a cramped little summoning circle?”

Well like you said, you can’t see much of anythin-

“Do you SEE me NOT slicing your boyfriends into ribbons and torching your dumb little clubhouse!?”

Ohhh, you nod with a laugh, that was her-

“I’m a FREE DEVIL now, fool, and I don’t care who asks, the only person I’m gonna serve from now on is ME, ME, and ME!

Fair, you reply, but how about-

A mischievous glimmer forms in Rezalith’s eyes. “Y’know, you’re acting awfully annoying for someone standing on a rickety bridge… maybe you should stop blathering and start worshiping, hm?”

Punctuating her suggestion with a cheeky wink, the devil makes a show of scratching what you can only assume is one of the bridge’s posts with either a very large blade or a very nasty claw.

You’re not sure which possibility is the better one, but this girl is right–she’s got you in a nasty spot right now!

What do?
>Call her bluff! She’s not really a queen, is she?!
>Tell her to check you out–you’re not a damn cultist!
>Bring up something only a foreigner would know!
>Compliment her! You can’t really see her, but you can probably think of something!
>Just back away. You can find another way down.
>Stay quiet. Maybe she just wants attention?
>ATTACK while her guard is down!
>Ask her about herself! She seems to like that topic!
>Maybe you can make a deal! Devils LOVE deals!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6098337
>>Compliment her! You can’t really see her, but you can probably think of something!
>"My what sharp teeth you have?"
>>
>>6098337
>Write-In!
"Look, Rezdog, I'm not a cultist. I'm pretty sure I might be, I don't know, a sacrifice or something. And any enemy of yours is an enemy of mine!"

>Ask her about herself! She seems to like that topic!
"So, what kind of demon are you?"

>>6098340
+1

"I can tell you're obviously the fearsome kind by those teeth of yours, but why'd these idiots summon you? Slaughtering their enemies? Wisdom from beyond? Really like the color red? Spill, girl."
>>
>>6098337
>Compliment her! You can’t really see her, but you can probably think of something!
>Her EYELASHES are rather vivid. Des she do anything to bring them out?
>Her TEETH are very bright and sharp. How does she maintain that? It’s a good routine.
>Her RED EYES are rather striking. Everyone where we’re from is real samey with white sclera and a small colored part.
How bad would you have to screw up a ritual to summon people from two planes? I’m guessing that’s what happened to us.
>>
>>6098340
>>6098347
>>6098350
>COMPLIMENTS AND QUESTIONS!

Writing!
>>
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It’s never worked for you before, but maybe this time will be different? Clearing your throat, you start off with what little details you can see.

Does she sharpen her teeth or something, or do they just have really good toothpaste in Chatty? Because those chompers…my oh my!

The devil gives you an impassive glance, but she does let her fangs poke out a little further.

“... go on.”

This is usually where the pepper spray comes in! You’re doing great! Fueled with renewed confidence, you dare to take a few cautious steps further up the bridge!

A-and those eyelashes, you add, does she do anything to, like, bring them out, or?

“All natural.” She grunts, batting her eyelashes your way. “But good for you to notice… for a cult-loving MORON, anyways…”

Ignoring that last jab, you go for the kill: and her EYES!

“... what about ‘em?”

So STRIKING, you reply! So BOLD! why, where you come from is just kinda samey… we have a white part and a little pupil-

“Getting bored. Try harder, stupid.

Damn it, you thought ALL girls liked getting complimented on their eyes! Err, they’re very… pointy?

“Hmm… I’ll allow it~” She purrs, her stony expression slowly warming up again. “You know, it’s too bad you and the rest of your merry band of morons tried to bind me… I could certainly use a guide around this place. And a slave.”

She shrugs. Probably.

“I was planning on cutting your head off and hanging onto it as a snack for later, but-”

Look, Rezie, you begin as you take a few more bold steps forward, you’re not a cultist, okay? You may smell like a cultist, kinda look like a cultist, and are wearing the leather leotard of a cul-

“Wait, what?”

ROBE of a cultist, but you’re not! In fact, you add, you’re pretty sure you were summoned here from your own world just like she was! And by accident! So uh…

You pause mid-speech when you realize the devil queen’s eyes are lit up like bloody Jack-O-Lanterns. Guess she didn’t like ‘Rezie’.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6098423
What you’re trying to say is, you sputter, is that you’re on the same side here!

Covering your face to protect it against the inevitable fireball, you peek through your fingers after you realize you aren’t dead yet. ‘Rezie’s’ eyes have relaxed, somewhat, but you can tell she’s still a little testy. Like a cat that can’t decide if it wants to bite you or let it pet it.

“Hmmm…” She remarks, studying you like a chef about to gut a fish, “You DO have a slightly different scent than the other mouthbreathers… and you’d have to be especially dumb to race after me after seeing what I did to your friends…”

Exactly, you agree with an emphatic nod, you’ve been screwed over too! So if she wants to get revenge together-

“Hmmm…. No way in HELLS!” The devil hisses with a frown, “I can barely see you, but I can already tell you’re a weakling. You’d probably sprain your wrist the minute you picked up a dagger.”

Hey, that’s not true! You’ve been holding a dagger this whole tOW!

Her expression turns smug once again.

“... but I could certainly use a good SHIELD in case some torch-bearing rabble waylay me. You’ll do in a pinch, I suppose.”

Progress, you mutter under your breath with a stealthy pump of your fist! So uh… what kind of demon is she, anyways?

“A QUEEN. Of an entire plane. Don’t think about it too hard–you’ll hurt yourself.”

Sure, but… like, is she red? Does she have horns? Wings? Tail?

You’re answered with a derisive ‘PSSSSH!

“Sorry cult boy, I’m not a SUCCUBUS. Not that you could handle one. Virgin.

Your pride urges you to continue this argument, but a rare case of common sense getting through to you tells you it’s not worth the fight. She can still kill you, after all.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6098424
Okay, you sigh, how about this then: any clue why someone would try to summon her in the first place? Slaughtering some enemies? Wisdom from beyond? Big fans of the color red? Spill, gurl.

“The only things I’ll spill are your pathetic guts if you keep talking to me like that.” She snarls as an unseen claw ‘thunk’s into the bridge’s support post. “And how the HELLS should I know what they wanted? They were dumb and now they’re dead. End of story. Roll credits.”

Right, you retort, but isn’t she curiou-

“Nope! I’m free now. That means I don’t have to care about things like that~”

The way she ends her sentence makes her sound kinda proud. You can’t help but be a little impressed, but it doesn’t help you out much.

“Quit staring at me like that. I still might kill and eat you, y’know.”

Right, sorry.

Another thunk in the support. You take another cautious step towards your new best fiend.

“Oi, pervert.”

Anton.

“Autist. Your QUEEN has a question for you.”

Oh? Sure, ask away!

“You claim you aren’t a cultist–that you aren’t from this world.”

Exactly, you reply with another nod, you’re not from here! You come from the town of-

“I wasn’t finished. Shut up.” She snaps with a click of an unseen claw. “I don’t choose my slaves lightly, nor do I tolerate failure. So,” Rezalith adds with a clap of her claws, “What do you have to offer me in exchange for my continued tolerance of your presence? Tell me of your uses–surely you’re good for something besides a midday snack.”

Well, you begin, mind already aching from what might be the most important question of your life, you…

CHOOSE 1!
>Can be really sneaky! Once no one noticed you for a whole week! (+Stealth Checks)
>Know how to get on people’s good side! Once there was this customer… (+Charisma Checks)
>Take a lot of damage! There was this grease fire at work once, and… (+Willpower/Stamina Checks)
>Know a lot of cool stuff! See, there’s this thing called the ‘Internet’, and you basically spend most of your time… (+Intellect Checks)
>Are stronger than you look! You once moved a whole fryer by yourself when no one else showed up… (+Strength Checks)
>Are able to dislocate your shoulders on command! (+Dexterity Checks)
>Once held your breath for like… ten minutes! (Can hold breath for a long time!)
>Don’t believe in ghosts! (Doesn’t believe in ghosts)
>Can eat without ever getting fat! (Can eat a lot of food)
>Play an instrument! Kinda! (Choose an instrument. You can kinda play it.)
>Write-In (Something reasonable, but neat)
>>
That's it for tonight, folks. Should have more for ya tomorrow at the usual time! Expect that unless I say otherwise. Seeya then!
>>
>>6098425
>>Take a lot of damage! There was this grease fire at work once, and… (+Willpower/Stamina Checks)
>>
>>6098425
>Kill everything you touch! Inadvertently. Plants, animals, you name it. (+Bad Luck Aura)
>>
>>6098435
+1
>>
>>6098427
+1
>>
>>6098425
>Take a lot of damage! There was this grease fire at work once, and… (+Willpower/Stamina Checks)
>>
>>6098425
>>Take a lot of damage! There was this grease fire at work once, and… (+Willpower/Stamina Checks)
Tank Build Let's go
>>
>>6098425
>>6098435
+1
Just a mild bad luck one. Wouldn’t want our new boss to think we’re any more of a liability than we are now.
>>
You know what? I like both of these. Damn fine write-in! Gonna update later, obviously, so the vote's still open, but would y'all want to have both +Willpower/Stamina AND this neat +Bad Luck Aura?

>Yes, give us both!
>No, Only the Willpower thing, Bones!
>>
>>6098535
>Yes, give us both!
This can only go well!
>>
>>6098535
Fits well together, we're tough because we are unlucky
>>
>>6098535
>Yes, give us both!
I read the bad luck aura as a “we’re lucky until we really try to plan something out in detail” since we got through the traps fine.

As long as we don’t need to water or feed Rezalith regularly she should be fine. Probably.
>>
>>6098535
>Yes, give us both!
Loving the way the quest is going! You’re a great writer.
>>
>>6098581
I read it as the same way a black cat is unlucky.
Not itself, but others? Well...
>>
>>6098535
>No, Only the Willpower thing, Bones!
>>
>>6098535
>Yes, give us both!
>>
Let's rock then.
>>6098427
>>6098448
>>6098453
>>6098456
>WILLPOWERRRRRR

>>6098435
>>6098445
>>6098528
>BAD LUCK AURA!

Writing!
>>
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You can take a whole lot of damage, you begin as your voice takes on a whimsical tinge and your scars start to itch, see, there was this grease fire at work once an-

Over ten posts worth of flashbacks are swiftly shot down by a rock crashing against your jaw at sub mach speed! If you hadn’t chosen this bonus you’d probably be crying right now.

“Hmm… I guess that’s useful…” Purrs your new boss as you hear a few more rocks drop to the ground next to her. “What else? MY slaves have to have at least TWO skills.”

Erm, you stammer as you scramble to think of something else, well you’ve got a sunny personality-

Another rock gets intimate with your face. Still not crying!

Okay, you sputter, you… you’re like a BLACK CAT, okay!? Things tend to be pretty, well… unlucky around you!

The rock barrage is put on hold. For now. “... I have no idea what that means. Idiot.”

Like… like if you’re taking care of a plant, 9 times outta 10 it dies, okay? You barely work with any other coworkers anymore because of how often they slip and fall into the fryers!

“I understood the luck part, moron,” Chides Rezalith as she gives the bridge post another long scratch, “I have no idea what this ‘BLACK CAT’ is you speak of.”

Your eyes widen a bit. Wait, she doesn’t know what a cat is?

“I don’t make it a habit to do or know things that don’t concern me!” Snarls the devil with another scratch! “That’s what I have SLAVES for, duh-DOI.”

How uh… how many slaves has she had, anyways?

“How many times have you hurt yourself trying to think, hmm? It must be around that number.”

Is she always this abusive, you begin, or is today just a special occasion?

“A VERY special occasion indeed!” Cackles Rezalith with a swish of an unseen claw! “Today I am finally FREE! Free to do what I want, when I want, and how I want it! These dark lands shall QUAKE at the sound of my name!”

With what you can only assume is a dramatic flourish, ‘Rezie’ pauses with wide eyes as the two of you hear the sound of something creaking…

… She chopped up the support post, didn’t she?

“... You’re the one who said he spread Bad Luck. That means that you dying in a moment isn’t my fault at all!” She counters, sticking a forked tongue out at you as you feel the brittle wood beneath your feet buckle! “This wouldn’t have happened if you had WINGS or something. Idiot…”

Rezalith’s award-winning empathy does little to comfort you as you feel gravity take hold of you! Mustering one last-ditch jump, you leap off the crumbling bridge and over to safety!

Wait, no, you just slam your face against a cliff. Tumbling into the inky blackness below, the last thing you hear before you black out is a derisive snort from your would-be partner.

At least she’s amused…

>CONTD.
>>
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You awaken what feels like a week later on your back, your pilfered clothes damp against your body, but warmed thanks to the comforting sound of a crackling fire just to your left and a warm fur wrapped around you like a tortilla in a chimichanga. Rubbing your eyes, your heart sinks a little bit when you still fail to see anything, but the area around the campsite is loud with the chitter of unfamiliar chitters and cheeps… bird and bugsong denoting a warm evening. The sound of a nearby rushing river tries in vain to drown them out.

As you mull over the last hour’s events in your still-reeling head, you feel a warm towel slip off of your forehead and onto the dirt below. Huh, you mutter, did Rezalith develop a conscience or something?

Before you can ponder ‘Nice Rezalith’ any further, a series of heavy footfalls in metal boots tromp over from the camp’s border! Freezing in place like a hot dog in a pack, you can’t help but let out a quiet whine as a yellow-eyed figure that must be at least twice your size stoops down to leer at you, a pair of tusks nearly poking your face!

Neither of you say a word, though you can both see each other’s eyes. You’re just about to piss yourself when your visitor breaks the ice with a surprisingly brash, but amicable voice!

“Well well, you certainly dozed off! How’s your head, stranger? You were a real mess when we found you!”

Errr…

“Oh Mitaar, what a relief! Morook’s going to be so pleased!” The stranger sighs, rising to her dizzying height again in a symphony of clanks from her unseen armor, “Don’t worry–he just went to grab some meat for the stew. You just rest, okay? Leave everything to Volka!”

Your caretaker winks one of her giant yellow eyes as she takes a seat next to the unseen campfire and throws some more fuel in.

“Now I don’t usually pry into other people’s business, but it’s rare to see a Gnok out here by themselves, especially going for a swim!” Leaning closer, ‘Volka’ prods your arm with a leathery claw that feels bigger than your head. “Especially one with no feathers! What were you thinking venturing out here alone anyways? Morook’s going to chew your horns off when he sees you’re awake, y’know! Fair warning!”

How do you respond?

>What are you?
>Where am I?
>Try to explain your predicament!
>Gnok?
>Who’s Morook?
>Did you see a devil around here?
>PANIC
>Run!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6098721
>Write-In!
>I'm not gonna lie, I have no idea what you just said. Can you tell me a bit more about what the fuck is up around these parts?
>>
>>6098790
>What the fuck
Yea that'll encapsulate a lot of this stuff! Writing!
>>
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Maybe you’re still adjusting to the lack of light. Perhaps your brain is trying to untangle itself. It might just be the meteoric pace at which this quest is going. Whatever the reason, you find yourself having trouble parsing what your new friend(?) said to you, not that you had any trouble hearing her talk.

I’m not gonna lie, you begin, giving your temples a well-deserved massage, I have no clue what you just said.

“Oh?” Volka replies with concern leaking into her peppy voice, “Well that’s okay, stranger–which part was confusing for ya?”

All of it, you reply. Can she just, like, start with the basics, please? You’re still on Post 1 here.

“Wow,” begins your armored ally in a tone usually reserved for a parent about to explain the Birds and the Bees, “You must have been underwater for a while to be this confused! If we hadn’t dredged you out you’d probably be Jhekk chow!”

See, that’s what you’re talking about right there, you interject, pointing a finger at what you assume is her direction, she’s talking like an extra from that old show ‘Space Trip’.

“Show?”

Forget it. Just… where ARE we right now? What is this place?

“Mitaar’s light, you’re really confused, aren’t you?”

Make it as SIMPLE as you can, you reply as you pick up the warm towel from earlier and give your forehead a dab.

“Where do I even start?” Volka asks as you hear a claw scratch something rough and leathery. “Well you’re in Zoral, of course… though most folks call it the Darklands. You know, on account of the-”

The DARKNESS, you interject with a sagely nod, yea, you noticed. Is that-

“Normal? Well for most people, yea…” Volka replies in a slightly less-sporty tone. “Some folks were around before light went bye-bye, but a lot of them are really old… or crazy.”

And why did it go bye-bye, exactly? You hear a clatter of metal around the girl’s shoulders far above you. A shrug.

“Plenty of theories to choose from,” she sighs. “Some people think Mitaar The Sun God got angry with us. Others think someone just sealed all the light away…”

What does she think happened?

“Aww, I’m not too good at that philosophical stuff…” Volka replies bashfully. “But my dad has a lot of theories about it–maybe you can ask him!” She pauses. “If, erm… you didn’t plan on swimming more, at least.”

Yea, you’re not exactly jazzed about doing that again, you reply. And it wasn’t because you wanted to–you were on a bridge and some devil cut it loose-

“Woah woah WOAH, a DEVIL??” Volka interjects with a laugh in her voice! “Now I KNOW you’ve been breathing water! There’s no devils in the Darklands!”

“What’s this about devils?”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6098846
Both your eyes and Volka’s snap towards the new voice and find themselves staring at… well, at first glance they look like a pair of yellow disco balls!

“Morook!” Volka announces with a smile, “He woke up! Your medicine did the trick!”

“That remains to be seen…” Mutters the quieter voice belonging to the disco ball eyes. “You picked a strange place to swim, friend.”

You didn’t pick ANYTHING, you groan! You’re not FROM here, okay? You were… summoned, or something! By some weird cult!

Both of your saviors pause to appraise you for a bit. Finally they’re starting to LISTEN!

“... I think he’s deranged, Mor.”

Damn it! Morook, as he was called, doesn’t reply. Though nowhere near as tall as Volka, he still stoops to a knee to address you.

“A cult?”

Well for starters they were wearing these robes, you begin as you shake your accoutrement around, letting the trinkets sewn onto it jangle, and when you woke up you were in some cave full of traps… and beaked monsters!

“Beaked?” Volka asks.

“Makkar.” Replies the newcomer in a matter-of-fact tone. “Common and bold in these parts.”

As you wrack your brain for any other proof, you remember the pieces of PARCHMENT you pilfered from the cultists! Handing them over to Morook, you cross your arms and wait as he examines them closer.

“...These aren’t your usual incantations, that’s for sure…” He muses as you hear the parchment shift hands to Volka. “Would Master Volkir recognize these, you think?”

“It’d be weird if he couldn’t…” Volka replies with a click of something tongue-like, “You’re right, though:weird choice of runes for an incantation…”

Magic, you begin with awed disbelief in your tone, they’re… are they talking about magic?

“Not as common these days with the world going dark, but not uncommon.” Nods Morook as he rises to his feet. “So you’re no Gnok then… that explains the smell.”

No, you sigh, you’re not a ‘Gnok’. You’re a human, okay? At least… you think you are. The details have been pretty sparse.

“Human…” Volka repeats in a tone that almost makes it sound sacred, “What a funny word!”

“Surprising amount of similarities between you and a Gnok, though…” Morook observes with a hint of bemusement, “I was curious where your feathers and horns were when I examined your wounds.”

Wait a sec, you stammer, he… examined you?

“Well I started...” Volka replies with a touch of embarrassment creeping into her tone, “But when I realized you weren’t a girl, well…”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t find any permanent damage.” Morook steps in with a smirk, “Which makes you quite a lucky person if you truly fell from a bridge. Nothing but crags and cliffs in this neck of the Darklands.”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6098847
Well you DID fall, you grumble, and there was someone else with you too–some devil girl named ‘Rezalith’.

Both of your new pals go silent for a moment before Volka speaks up. “That’s… hard to believe…”

She doesn’t need to believe it, you retort–just follow the river back to the broken bridge! The devil’s probably still there laughing!

“No, I don’t doubt that…” Volka explains with a hint of concern, “It’s just that the Temple Guard are usually on top of snuffing out devil rituals long before they occur…” She pauses, then adds “Err, Temple Guard of Mitaar, that is.” In an apologetic voice.

“One question if I may…” Morook begins as his disco ball eyes burn holes into you, “What is your name and where are you from?

“Huh?” Volka asks, cocking her head to the side.

Your name is Anton Peas, you reply, and you’re from-

“Wait, what did he say?” Asks the girl as she pops a squat next to you.

“He said his name is Anton,” replies Morook, “And he did it in an ancient Chytree dialect.”

You blink. What’s a Chytree?

“I am.” Morook explains, “But the dialect I just used is long gone… but if that’s not evidence of your story being true, I don’t know what is.”

When both you and Volka reply with a confused “Eeeh?”Morook strides over to the campfire and places something above the flames with a gentle ‘hiss’. “No one speaks that language anymore, least of all non-Chytree. Mages, maybe, but I can’t really imagine what use they’d have for it apart from novelty.” Turning towards you again, the Chytree clicks some unseen claws or mandibles intently.

“If I had to guess, I’d say your summoners added in some kind of language spell. Magic’s not really my forte, though.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Mor! I’m not good at it either!”

“It wasn’t a putdown, but thanks, Volka.” Smiles Morook. “As for you, Anton, I’m sure you have a lot of questions given your current predicament.”

That’s an understatement! How the hell do you get back home anyways!?

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6098851
Morook clicks in thought. “I’m afraid I don’t have an answer to that, but I know where you can find someone that might…”

Crossroads?” Asks Volka.

“Precisely.” Replies her friend. “It’s a trade hub, Anton–probably the biggest in the Darklands. I’m not overly fond of cities, but you’re certain to find answers there if you don’t mind some footwork.”

A city in the dark, huh? Sounds like a great place to get mugged.

“No need to fear: Volka’s here!” Announces your armored friend! “Erm… well what I mean is I’d love to show you around, Ant, but-”

“Leave the ingredients gathering to me.” Interjects Morook with a twinkle in his eye. “It’ll probably be faster if I’m on my own anyways.”

“Are you sure?” Asks Volka with a tinge of disappointment, “I mean… it’s my dad who wanted the goods…”

“Don’t worry–the wilds and I are old friends.” Morook explains with what passes for a wry grin in his voice, “Just send someone after me if I don’t catch up in two days. Maybe I can look into this cult temple too.”

That’s… that’d be really cool of him, you reply. Thanks!

“When all is dark, it’s our character that defines us.” Recites the Chytree with a bow of his head. “And don’t thank me too much–Volka will be your travel partner.”

“Heeeyy….” The girl snarls through sharp teeth, “If I didn’t know you better I’d toss you in the river, Mor.”

Heading over to the campfire, Morook kneels and gives something metal a few taps. “I’m going to head back out, but please eat some stew before you depart. Comforts can be few and far between in the Darklands.”

As Morook turns to leave, your new chaperone Volka turns to you with a reassuring smile. “No rush, Ant. Leave the worrying to me, okay?” Her smirk deepens. “... and the warrioring. Ha!”

Anything else before you depart?
>Ask Morook something else!
>Ask Volka a question!
>Snag some stew!
>Rest a little bit!
>Head to the river!
>Call out to Rezalith!
>Nope, let’s hit the road!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6098853
>Ask Morook/Volka something else!
>>So what’s the deal with devils here? Rezalith mentioned something about GAD FLY, THE RED PLANE. Does that mean anything to them?
>What’s there to worry about, by the way?
>>
>>6098875
>The devil in the details
>Worry?
Writing!
>>
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Morook just dropped a truckload of knowledge on you–clearly he’s not a guy you want wandering off into the darkness… not yet, at least!

Wait a sec, Mor, you begin before turning to Volka as well, you guys mentioned that devils get hunted down by the Temple Guard–

“And devil worshippers. And devil priests. And devil ritualists.” Volka’s face scrunches up in thought. “...And since we’re on the subject I’d also loop in demons, deovals, daemons, and fiends too.”

“Mitaar’s Temple Guard is nothing if not thorough.” Nods Morook. “They’ve had a lot of time on their hands since light disappeared.”

No kidding, you remark as you kick a stone from one patch of darkness into another patch. How do they do that, anyways?

“I don’t know the finer details, but even with light gone Mitaal Worshippers still have tools and spells designed to track down… uninvited guests.” Morook explains. “As for what they do with them once they’re found, well…”

“Dad has a library with stories all about fights against devils in the past…” Volka adds with a slight wistfulness in her voice, “Can’t really read ‘em anymore, but dad knows some of the stories by heart and used ‘em to get me to fall asleep.”

Did it work?

“In a way!” The warrior snickers, “They certainly helped him fall asleep, in any case.”

“There’s a temple in Crossroads if you care to ask yourself.” Suggests Morook with a shrug in his voice. “Careful, though: many Mitaar worshippers can be somewhat…” He pauses, searching for the polite words.

“Intense!” Volka concludes with a nod. “But don’t worry–they’re part of the good guys!”

Can’t wait to meet ‘em, you reply, grateful that you’ve got some allies to look forward to in the city!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6099003
Say, Rezalith, err, the devil you met was mentioning some sort of ‘RED PLANE’... pretty sure it started with a C... Ever hear of other planes in those stories your dad used to tell you?

Volka drums some claws against some flat metal at her side… a shield, perhaps?

“Hmmm… I heard a lot of names…”

It had to be… CHATTY, or something.

CHAT’TAAI…” Morook utters with a frown. Yea, that one! Good call, Morook!

“Oooh, I remember that one!” Volka exclaims as Morook fails to notice your attempt to high-five him. “Yea, a lot of demons come from that place in the old tales… they all had seriously creepy names, too! And how they looked?” The warrior shudders. “I still get nightmares sometimes!”

As you imagine the tusked amazonian getting nightmares, Volka clicks her tusks a few times in further thought. “Y’know, though… I don’t remember there being a Devil Queen... only a Devil King... can’t remember his name, though…”

Wait, wha? Is she suuuuure?

“Mhm, I always remember getting a little annoyed at that.” The woman replies with a nod. “I bet a Devil Queen could do a good job too!”

“Extraplanar Politics aside, use caution, Anton:” Morook interjects with a pointed tone, “You’re a newcomer here–don’t draw too much unwanted attention by shouting in the streets about devils.”

“Yep, that’s a great way to get some unwanted attention!” Volka adds with a nod. Man, Rezie’s gonna have an interesting reception waiting for her, huh?

Eh. She’s probably fiiiine.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6099004
As the three of you converse, you can’t help but pick up on strange noises in the air around you… clicks, howls, squeaks… if you didn’t know better you’d think you were summoned into a zoo!

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Remarks Morook as he cranes his neck skyward and sighs. “When you aren’t distracted by sight your senses are treated to an entirely different symphony…”

Morook knows the land like the back of his talons,” Volka hisses conspiratorially into your ear, “But all that solitude can make you a little… kooky…

“Trust me: I was kooky long before I became a ranger.” Adds Morook with a smirk in his tone, prompting a yelp from Volka.

He knows a lot about the land, right? Not that you’re ungrateful, but what should a guy look out for in these parts anyways?

“Well you already had a run-in with Makkar…” Morook begins as if listing the creatures on his talons, “Pack hunters. Easily startled, but packs never make the same mistake twice. It’s best to cull them the minute they attack a caravan.”

“They also make for some good eatin’!” Volka adds, “And the beaks are a crunchy snack if you boil and spice ‘em!”

What else, you ask as you gulp the contents of your stomach back down your throat.

“Ziib are irritating.” Adds Morook as he takes a step towards the campfire, “By the time you hear them it’s too late–they track you down by smell, so make sure to wash regularly–they won’t find you if you smell like grass or natural water.”

“They’re more annoying than anything else…” Shrugs your bodyguard, “They can barely get through scales or chitin to begin with, so at worst you’re left with a few nasty wounds…” She gives you a playful nudge with an elbow bigger than your head. “Gotta love natural armor, right?”

Yea uh… you don’t have that.

“Oh! Yea, they’ll probably devour you in minutes then.” Volka stammers as Morook massages the space between his eyes. “... Sorry…”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6099006
“There’s plenty more to worry about, obviously, but the biggest threat are the other wayfarers you’ll meet on the road…” Says Morook with a grave tone.

“Oh boy, here we go again…” Groans Volka. “Mor, you’re gonna have to trust other people even-”

“You don’t need masks in this gloom, Anton.” Warns the ranger as his eyes bore holes into yours, “You got lucky with Volka and I, but beware who you trust. Not everyone has your best interest in mind, least of all strangers.”

Foreboding! Still solid advice though!

“Stay informed, stay alive!” Morook replies with uncharacteristic cheeriness in his tone. “You’ll have to tell me how you fared once we meet in Crossroads.”

“Hah! He’ll have nothing but good things to report, you can count on that!” Chirps Volka as she rests an arm on your back that nearly crushes it! “As expected of the CROSSROADS LAMPLIGHTERS!

Morook’s groan prompts you to dive deeper. Lampli-

“Don’t worry, she’ll tell you all about it.” He sighs with the energy of a man who’s heard it all before. “Trust me.”

A rumbling wind brushes past your campsite, prompting the ranger to glance skyward. “Best leave soon–if the weather holds you’ll get there by this evening.”

Any last questions before grabbing a bite and venturing forth?

>One more for Morook!
>One more for Volka!
>Nope, we’re good!
>One more check for Reza?
>Write-In!
>>
>>6099007
>…how can you tell the time of day if there’s no sun?
>>
>>6099064
+1, for whoever will answer it.

>>6099007
also,
>Are there any lights at Crossroads? How does anyone navigate this darkness without torches?
>>
>>6099007
>>6099064 +1
>>
>>6099064
>>6099085
>>6099099
>How can you tell the time, hmmmm
>Lights or anything in Crossroads?
Writing~did a little yardwork this morning so expect a slow update or two
>>
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Wait, you yell, WAAIIIIIT!

“I haven’t departed yet.” Morook states in a dry tone, “Was there something else?”

It’s just uh, you begin with a smirk as you rub your finger along your chin, it’s just kinda funny that you can tell the time of day… without, y’know… light and all.

“... Is that suspicious?”

“Actually I was wondering how you did that too, Mor.” Adds Volka with renewed interest in her voice. “I thought you didn’t like magic!”

“I don’t.” Spits the ranger. “But it’s not magic… here, follow me.”

Beckoning you both with a few low clicks, Morook leads you away from the campfire and down a small grassy embankment. So plants still gro-AAAAH!

“Watch your step.” Morook warns a few seconds after you pick yourself up from a puddle at the bottom of the hill picking pond scum out of your teeth. When the three of you have ventured far enough away from the safety of the camp, your guide pauses and hushes Volka and you with a hiss.

“What are we doin-”

“Don’t speak, just feel…” Morook whispers as he deftly interrupts the warrior. “Take note of what you smell. Taste. Hear. Feel.”

It takes a moment to get comfortable in the darkness, but Morook hasn’t let you down yet. Taking a deep breath, your focus immediately shifts to the distant howls of the local fauna…

But then you feel the breeze… the type you feel nipping your cheeks as you walk to work in early Fall. That crisp chill that signals the end of Summer… and then you feel something else–the tickle of something warm tousling your hair and kissing your face like a flock of butterflies.

Sunlight. So it’s not gone, it’s-

“Perhaps.” Shrugs the ranger as you continue to bask in your senses, “It could also be a substitute conjured up by mages, or the lingering effects of what once was–like a phantom limb.” Morook sighs. “Nature’s a good teacher provided you stop to listen. You’ll notice too once the sun’s phantom departs for the day.”

“Yea well…” Volka begins as she stretches, shattering the silence with the creak of metal, “I’ll leave the timekeeping to you then, Ant, because I didn’t get anything except for a little nap...”

Just great–whisked away to a fantasy world and you’ve become a glorified clock.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6099369
One last thing, you add as the three of you trek back to the campsite, this Crossroads place… is it dark too?

“As dark as anywhere else, yes.” Morook confirms in a tone usually reserved for a mother answering a toddler’s question.

That must be absolutely bananas then, right? How does anyone find their way around?

“They get creative!” Volka replies as she gently places a bowl of stew in your hands, its contents tickling your nostrils with savory, spicy goodness and tickling your eyes with steam. “Just because you can’t see doesn’t mean you can’t get around!”

Well yea, you shrug, bringing the bowl to your lips and sipping, but-oh damn, that is GOOD!

“Thanks!” Snickers Volka, “I call it The Trail Special.

“She’s gotten very good at avoiding toxic ingredients.” Adds Morook as he too takes a sip. “But yes, being a trade hub there’s quite a few innovations present, though most of them hail from UMBERAL.”

“That’s a city to the North!” Volka helpfully adds. “A lotta Mox and Durher live there, so they come up with all kinds of crazy machines and contraptions!”

The ranger pauses as if remembering something worrying.

“... I would stay away from there for now. For all of Crossroads’ faults, it’s also probably the safest place in Zoral.”

Pause for a sec–Mox? Durher?

“Oh, they’re tiny, but really smart!” Volka explains with the tact of a grade-schooler. “Mox are kinda like Skogs in that they have scales, but they like to be around wet stuff like lakes and the sea. Durher are kinda fuzzy and cute, but don’t say that to ‘em–they get real mad!”

Uhuh. And what’s a Skog? Volka’s yellow eyes light up like Christmas trees!

“Why, ME am-err, I mean I am! We’re big and tough and we also do a lot of interesting things!”

… Like?

“Well…” She begins, drumming her claws against her shield while Morook watches with a bemused look in his eyes, “We can march for DAYS. And we’ve come up with a lot of ways to fight without seeing… there used to be a lot of Skog cities in the South, but they’re all gone now… um… oh, and Skog food is THE BEST. Sorry, Mor.”

“It’s fine–my people don’t really ‘do’ flavor.”

Good to know…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6099371
“Anyways,” Volka continues, her voice even more confident now that she’s educated you on the many facets of Skog culture, “Crossroads is still really nice too! There are these boxes that tell you about shops and sales, and there are roads that feel different when you walk on them to tell you which way to go!”

“Yes, always walk on the left side of the road.” Morook adds. “It takes some getting used to, but-”

“I just forget sometimes, okay!?” Volka pouts with a clank of her unseen armor, “And it’s usually fine as long as you say you’re sorry afterwards!”

“Here, take these back.” You feel your PARCHMENT get pushed back into your hands. “This bump writing is known as ‘BUMOT’--a collaboration between Gnok, Mox, and Durher. Everyone can read and write it, so you’ll have to rely on a guide for the time-being.”

Thanks, you nod, but why’d he give these back right now?

“Because the roads in Crossroads are all carved in Bumot.” Morook explains, his disco ball eyes glimmering. “If you read with your claws as you walk you’ll know where you’re headed.”

“Some of the characters are pretty similar, so watch out!” The warrior laughs. “Not for me, though. I know Crossroads like the back of my claw!”

“You’ll do fine.” Adds the ranger, his eyes shimmering reassuringly. “Oh, that reminds me…” You feel something metal and damp slip into your hand. A moment of fiddling with it tells you it’s some kind of RING...

“This is a RING OF ECHOS. Try it on.”

As you slip the jewelry onto your favorite finger, every sound seems to LEAP at you! The crackling fire, the faint creaking of Volka’s armored joints, the whispering in the wind… and you can almost see the sounds too!

Woah…

“It’s a bit overwhelming in cities, but these rings draw attention to the sounds around you, however small they may be.” Begins Morook in a slightly amplified voice. “It should help a bit if you get separated from Volka or run into trouble.”

“Not gonna happen~”

“Just be sure to take the ring off if something loud approaches–brigands, monsters, Volka…”

“Y’know, some people like how loud I am!” Volka retorts as you instinctively remove the ring, “They find it comforting! Like the smell of a home-cooked meal... or a warm fire!”

“You’ll have to introduce me to these people one of these days…” Replies Morook as he cocks his head to the side.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6099373
He’s really just giving this to you then? That’s… What do you owe him? The ranger responds with a series of clicks. Laughter, maybe?

“Just give it back to me when you’re done with it. Frankly I don’t use it much anymore–I’m just glad your questions reminded me about it.”

“Lucky you, Ant!” Volka remarks with a low whistle, “I’ve known Mor for years now and he NEVER gives me gifts! You must be pretty special~”

“He is a stranger in a strange land, Volka.”

“Still.”

Anything else?
>Nope, that’s it!
>One more question, Mor!
>One more thing, Volka!
>Call for that devil!
>Write-In!

PASTEBIN UPDATED:
https://pastebin.com/xdk5kHyA
>>
>>6099377
>Nope, that’s it!
>>
>>6099377
>Write-in: Thank you for the assistance! I owe you for this, big time, and no amount of brushing it off is gonna convince me not to repay someday.
>>
>>6099387
>>6099428
>Thanks, let's hit the damn road!
Writing!
>>
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Pocketing the ring for now, you smile at the ranger until you remember he probably can’t see the gesture and opt for a friendly nod instead. You owe him for this, big time, and no amount of brushing it off is gonna convince you to not repay him!

“We’ll see. I’m very good at brushing off repayments.” Morook replies with a twinkle in his bulbous eyes. “Volka, are you prepared?”

“Rmmhrm!” Replies your guide as she finishes off the remaining stew. “Jusht reev it tr mrrh.”

“The path is about eighty strides ahead,” the ranger explains as he turns his gaze ahead of you. “Stay on it for an hour or so and you should reach the main road into Crossroads. Tread lightly and trust Volka–it’s what I’d do.“

“Gee, you’re really painting a fancy picture of me, Mor…” The warrior laughs with a sheepish look in her yellow eyes. “You take care of yourself too, y’hear?”

“I’ve got it down to an art by now, thanks.”

Morook’s gaze fades into the darkness as you and Volka make your way to the aforementioned path, the periodic creaks and clanks of her unseen armor making her easy to follow. True to his word, Morook’s instructions guide you out of a sea of tall grass and onto a flat, but narrow, dirt path. The choppy winds buffeting your face tell you you’re on a bluff of some kind… too bad you can’t get a glimpse of the view from here.

“Alright, Crossroads here we COME!” Announces your guide with a triumphant laugh! Adding your own spirited ‘Hell yea’, the word ‘yea’ nearly dies in your throat as you feel something pick you up by the scruff of your robe!

“Woah, sorry!” Sputters Volka after you let loose a gut-wrenching shriek, “It’s me! It’s ME!”

You can hear that, you reply, but why is she carrying you!?

“Oh uh…” Volka begins in a bashful tone, “I just thought it’d be easier for you since you don’t have much travel experience… and you’re pretty light…”

Yea, well, you sputter as you once again realize just how big Volka is, she could at least ask! You thought you were getting taken by a giant bird or something!

“Sorry! Sorry!” She repeats with growing embarrassment, “I just get so used to doing it, that’s all! My dad’s a Durher and he’s getting old, so…”

Okay, you sigh, but does she carry Morook?

“Well no, but he’s forgotten more about the Darklands than you or I will ever know!”

Taking a few more steps along the path, Volka’s metal boots come to a halt after an awkward silence settles in between you.

“Do um… would you prefer to walk?”

>Yea, let me walk!
>No, it’s fine… for now.
>Write-In!
>>
>>6099449
>No, it’s fine… for now.
Have we found best girl?
>>
>>6099449
>No, it’s fine… for now.
>We can be the SPOTTE-oh, right…
Her stride is probably longer and if we have to run to keep up with her then bad things are going to happen, I’m sure. This is all new to us, not to mention we’re still used to seeing things.
>>
>>6099511
>>6099531
>No, It's alright....
Writing!
>>
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You know what? It’s fine. This is fine!

“Oh? Well enjoy the ride then! I won’t drop ya, that’s a Lamplighter Promise!”

Say what you will about her, Volka doesn’t seem to let things bother her for very long. With the initial awkwardness nothing more than a distant memory, the girl hums a quiet, but soothing song as she carries you down the road like a very confused purse.

You’d be lying if it wasn’t kinda nice, though…

Passing by a babbling brook, you take the time to consider your new traveling partner. Bigger than Morook, by far, and built like a tank based on the armor you keep getting smacked against. Funny thing, though… the stuff she’s wearing seems to be different from the mail you saw on that cultist corpse–while that um… ‘Gnok’, if you remember correctly, wore something that felt like a solid piece, Volka’s seems, well…

Like multiple pieces connected together. It makes sense that different races would have different clothing, you reason, but just what kind of crazy place did you stumble into anyways?

Your thoughts are interrupted by something thick and scaly smacking you in the face.

“Whoops, sorry! Tail’s got a mind of its own!”

As the two of you head downhill, you can’t help but wince a bit at how much your guide is clanking… whether that’s on purpose or not you can’t really tell, but you can bet your trip would be a lot different if it was just you and Morook…

“Nothing quite like a nice stroll, is there, Ant? I bet you humans do this all the time in your world! Do you have light there? Oh right, you probably do otherwise the Darklands wouldn’t seem so dark, would they? Ever been on a mountain before? Do you like hot weather or cold? I like the rain, myself, but sometimes I like to stretch out on the roof when it’s hot… Volgir doesn’t like that, of course, always waving his cane and ranting about ‘crashing through the roof’, but that only happened a few times and I’ve always built it back nice an’ strong, so… oh, Volgir’s my father, just so you know. We aren’t related either, I bet you were confused when I said I was a Skog and he was a Durher… odd combination, right? You wouldn’t be the first to say it–why, once when I was stocking the shop for him-”

To her credit, Volka stops ranting a few minutes later when she realizes you haven’t responded at all…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6099596
“Whoops, there I go again! Sorry, friend, my jaw gets a little loose on the road–Morook HATES it whenever we travel together, but of course he does–he’s always on about ‘letting the senses feast’ and ‘embracing nature’s music’, whatever the Hells that means… he’s like a brother to me, Morook, but he’d take trees and moss over people any day…”

She pauses for the first time in minutes.

“You’re a little bit like him, d’yknow that? It’s like talking to a patch of grass with how quiet you’ve been!”

Not by choice!

“Relax, Ant–don’t have to be sneaky on these roads when Lamplighter Volka’s on the watch! Just gimme something, okay? My mind is going to eat itself if I can’t talk a little bit… and everyone knows travel’s more fun and fast when you’ve got good company!”

You can see why she’d drive Mor mad, but you also see her point. It’s not like you’ve got any scenery to enjoy, and if this tail hits you one more tOW!

“Sorry!”

What do? Choose 1!
>Just let her hum or something… you’re still processing stuff!
>Ask Volka about herself!
>Tell her about YOU!
>Inquire about Mor!
>Question her about her Father!
>Grill her about Skogs!
>Query about the Darklands!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6099599
>Tell her about YOU!
I’d like a bit of backstory myself, if we can remember anything else.
>>
>>6099599
>Ask Volka about herself!
>Grill her about Skogs!
So is she, like, a dragonwoman, or what? Spill, gurl.
>>
>>6099613
>>6099626
I said choose 1, but I just can't seem to say no to you guys... so let's do BOTH!

>Tell her about YOU!
>Ask Volka about HERSELF!
>And SKOGS!
Writing!
>>
>>6099599
>Ask her why eyes are still visible.
>>
>>6099691
I can answer this one! It's kinda like how Sam Fisher's goggles can be seen in the Splinter Cell series: artistic license! Fuck if I know, I've been drinking Halloween Wine!
>>
>>6099693
>EYES are a WINDOW to the SOUL
>WINDOWS let light pass through
>People talk about an INNER LIGHT
>SOULS must emit an INNER LIGHT that is visible in a world of TRUE DARKNESS through the WINDOW of the EYES.
Why not?
>>
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Here’s a question, you begin with renewed interest: is she some kind of dragonwoman or something? What’s a Skog anyways?

“A dra’ghon?” Volka replies as she tries the word out a few times. “What’s that?”

It’s a mythical creature from where you’re from, you reply–they’re these really big, scaly monsters with massive wings and tails, nasty teeth, like to hoard gold… oh, and they can breathe fire!

“Oooh….” Volka remarks as she puts together a picture in her brain, “I guess Skogs are sort of like that! Never met one that could fly or breathe fire, though… but you never know!” She adds with a conspiratorial wink! “These draygins… do they help humans?”

Ermmm, not exactly, you shrug. Most of the time they eat ‘em and burn villages.

“Oh.” The air grows chilly as a silence forms between you. “Ant?”

Yea, Volka?

“I um…” She begins, slowly piecing the words together in her head, “I don’t know how long you plan to stay here, but you might meet some Skog that, well… aren’t very nice.”

Shit, you did it again, Ant… you always know how to make the ladies feel appreciated…

“The truth is, most people just think Skogs wanna hurt people.” Adds your guide in a very un-Volka tone, “And steal, and destroy… and I’m not gonna lie to you–a lot of Skogs DO do those things! Hells, the Western Lands are ruled by Skogs… and they aren’t nice, Ant… so when people see a Skog, they think…well..”

But not ALL of them are bad, right?

“E-EXACTLY!” Volka nods, shaking you around in her excitement! “And I know I probably seem really scary when you don’t have scales, or horns, or fangs… but, well…”

She pauses again in thought. “... I don’t know what point I’m trying to make here, but… just trust me, okay? Don’t be afraid.”

Okay, you nod, sensing this is more of a sensitive subject than Volka’s leading on, you will.

“G-great!” She laughs, her tail nearly whipping you in the face again, “Glad to get that off my chest!”

But just to confirm, you add, Skogs ARE pretty good in a fight, right?

“Oh Hells yea!” Volka giggles, “Once Mor had a bit too much Ruupaa to drink and he challenged me to a wrestling match–poor guy needed a solid potion regimen for weeks before he could talk again!”

Note to self: don’t wrestle Volka…

Anything else you wanna ask her in particular?
>Where’d she learn to fight?
>So her and her dad, what’s the story there?
>What’s this Lamplighter thing?
>Does she have many friends besides Mor?
>What does she do for fun?
>Tell me more about Skogs.
>The West… what’s it like?
>Nah, that’s enough.
>Write-In!
>>
That's it for tonight--Halloween Wine be hitting me HARD, pals. Seeya early on Sunday, Mountain Time. Be nice to Volka, now!
>>
>>6099715
>What’s this Lamplighter thing?
>>
>>6099715
>What does she do for fun?
>>
>>6099715
>Does she have many friends besides Mor?
>>
>>6099715
>Tell her a bit about your world if she’s interested. You might not have magic, but you still have airplanes and video games. That’s pretty cool.
>She said most of the people who remembered light were old, crazy, and maybe both. Does she want us to describe… seeing things? How everything has color, that people wave to say hello, stuff like that?
She likes to talk, but maybe we can tell her some things as well. Kinda like a story, and she does seem to enjoy those.

We can’t get too technical since we didn’t roll intellect, but that’s fine.
>>
>>6099744
>>6099801
>>6099840
>LAMPLIGHTERRR
>FUNNNN
>ANY OTHER FRIENDDDS?
Writing!

>>6099887
Definitely gonna keep this in my pocket for when Ant talks about himself! Scrumptious write-in!
>>
>>6099887
+1

>>6099698
I enjoy this rationale.
>>
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>>6099916
I'm really enjoying this quest so far!

That said, despite the scaly tail and the eyes being the wrong color, I can't help but think of picrelated when I see those tusks and that cute smile.
>>
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Having deftly steered the conversation away from race politics, you decide to aim for a lighter topic: fun!

“Ooh, I love fun! Can’t get enough of it!” Volka replies with a wag of her massive tail!

Yea, you do too, you nod, but what does she do for fun anyways? Besides carrying people around like luggage, that is.

For some reason THAT’S the joke that nearly makes Volka drop you as she doubles over laughing. Pausing to catch her breath, the girl’s armor pieces jangle as she struggles to get herself back under control!

“Hoo…. luggage! I should start a business, ey? Okay, fun, fun, fun… well I enjoy laughing, as you can plainly see,” She begins, her stomach still quaking with the remnants of laughter, “And I like cooking, but I told ya’ that back at camp…”

Bringing you up next to her tusked face, Volka leans in with a conspiratorial tone. “My father can’t cook at all… and he runs an apothecary! Can you believe it!?”

He can probably whip up a mean poison though, huh? Oh boy, here it comes again…

“HA! You’ll have to tell him that when you meet him!” She snickers, body shaking with resounding laughter once again! “Ahh, you’re a funny one, Ant…”

You get that a lot. So she likes cooking, and…?

“Swimming! Loooooooove swimming!” The amazon replies with a shake of her tail! “I’d spend my whole life in the water if I could–there’s nothing quite like a dip after a long day! And it’s good exercise!” She pauses for a moment and gives you a gentle shake. “You exercise much, Ant?”

Oh yea, you nod, e-every day!

“Uh-oh, sounds like I’ve just found a challenger! Next lake we find! I won’t go easy on ya!”

That doesn’t seem even remotely fair…

“Ain’t about fair, it’s about fun!” Volka chirps.

Who even taught her to swim anyways? Her dad?

“HAH! No, I fell into the canals a few times when I was a whelp!” She giggles. “They’ve put up walls since then, but let’s just say I got plenty of practice!”

Huh. Well it’s good that she engineered a social change…

“Not enough!” She frowns, “Those walls are still way too short! And flimsy!”

Ah.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6099992
The road becomes a bit flatter as you continue along–the air filled with the pungent aroma of what must be fungi… or your apartment bathroom.

“I hope Mor’s okay by himself… he always is, but I can’t help but worry. That’s a rule for you to remember, Ant,” Volka begins as she kicks a rock the size of a BBQ out of your path, “Never roam alone. Promise me!”

It’s a little early in your adventure for a promise, but you respond with a semi-committal ‘uh-huh.’ She and Mor are pretty close, then?

“Mhm! We go way back!” Your guide responds with a wistful tone! “Found some street toughs beating him behind the shop one day–once I took care of ‘em I had father patch him up and we’ve been friends ever since!”

The brief introduction you had with Mor makes it difficult to imagine anyone getting the drop on him, but people change, huh?

“Hah! Yea, you could say that… once father realized he wasn’t planning on stealing me away or anything he warmed up to him really quick! We were actually running a job earlier when he came across you. Talk about lucky, right?”

Seriously… so does she have other friends besides Mor? The girl goes quiet for a moment as you ask, but you can’t tell if she’s pondering or…

“Well a few of the neighbors and I are on good terms!” She replies, quickly recovering her pep, “And they know me at most of the taverns… OH, and there’s the LAMPLIGHTERS! We’re thick as thieves, we are!”

Mor’s warning resonates in your head as you hear the name again… taking a steadying breath, you ask your guide what the Lampli-

I’MSOGLADYOUAAAAAAAASKED!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6099993
You barely manage to brace yourself before Volka leaps into a pose you can’t even see–the sudden movement and jangle of armor nearly sending you sailing into the stratosphere! “The Lamplighters are the lights keeping the darkness at bay! The last bastion between innocents and the forces of chaos! The shining blade carving through the shadows!”

You’re pretty sure you knew a girl like this in High School… Wonder where she ended up. So these Lamplighters, you begin with cautious excitement in your tone, they protect people?

“Hah! That’s like asking if fire warms you up!” She laughs, puffing out her broad chest with pride! “Yea, the Lamplighters protect people, but they do so much more as well!”

Like?

“Well we patrol, we greet everyone we see, we pick up trash, we make sure roads are in working order…”

So they’re a Neighborhood Watch, then.

“No, no… you’re thinking of the Bellcounters–they’re the watchmen employed by Crossroads! We don’t NEED payment!

Ah, so vigilantes.

“If that means ‘passionate home-grown heroes’, then yes, we’re a pack of raging vigilantes!” Nods Volka with pride! “Gotta protect your home, y’know?”

Seems pretty cool, you admit, do they get into a lot of fights?

“Weeeeelll the fights tend to find us,” Shrugs the amazon with a wag of her tail, “But don’t worry–our big rule is to NEVER KILL! That way they get a chance to amend their ways!”

Cool! So how do they do that? With magic?

“Nnnnno, usually we just knock them senseless. It’s worked so far!”

Your face starts to ache just thinking about Volka knocking anyone senseless.

“Now I know what you’re thinking: how can I get in on the action, right? How can I get a piece?”

You weren’t, actually, but she sounds excited about it so you make a grunting noise instead.

“I’m not gonna lie, Ant, it’s an exclusive brotherhood… and the path to becoming a TRUE Lamplighter is paved with blood, sweat, and krutze…”

You blink. Krutze?

“Yes, blood, sweat, and krutze…” Volka repeats in a solemn tone, “But you’re in luck, because you happen to be speaking to the one… the only…” She pauses to throw her arms out to the side, nearly hurling you into the abyss in the process! “LAMPLIGHTER GRAND MARSHALL!

You give your guide a polite clap, unsure of how to respond. It seems to work. “Yes, yes… hold the applause please…”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6099997
As the Lamplighter Grandmaster takes the time to bow, a thought occurs…

Volka, you begin, how many Lamplighters are there, exactly?

“Sizing up the competition, ey?” She snickers in a smug voice, “Well don’t get too intimidated–there’s only four of us right now!”

She pauses.

“Oh wait, three. Forgot about Damius… poor bastard…”

What happened to Damius?

“Anyways, it’s just three of… I mean, an ARMY OF THREE! Myself included, naturally! It doesn’t sound like a lot, I know, but every great organization starts with a few good people!”

A sly look forms in her yellow eyes. “So whaddaya say, hmm? Care to be one of those few good people, HMMMM??”

You always knew you were destined for greatness, or at least some kind of quasi-legal mob, but you know how this kind of thing goes… what exactly do you have to DO if you join up?

“Patrol, greet everyone you see, pick up trash-”

But do you have, like, a schedule or anything? Because figuring out how to get back home is still pretty high on your ‘To-Do’ list…

“Come now, Ant! Our organization prides itself on treating its members right and respecting their busy lives! Let’s just say you’d be put on a… flexible schedule. How’s that sound?”

It sounds better than your current job, and potentially safer too…

“It’ll be great! We can patrol together, end the night at the tavern drinking ourselves sick and telling tales… and we can even get you your own unifo-” Volka pauses mid-pitch. “Wait, no, that got melted… well we can get you a HAT–wait, that was eaten…” Drumming her claws against her chin, she snaps a finger as an idea pops into her head! “A WHISTLE! I can definitely scrounge up a WHISTLE for you!”

Still sounds better than your current job!

“So whaddaya say, Ant? Want to join? No pressure!”

There’s definitely pressure–this girl could crush you like a grape. Still, you just got here–no need to commit immediately, right?

>JOIN THE LAMPLIGHTERS!
>GET BACK TO HER LATER ABOUT THE LAMPLIGHTERS!
>DON’T JOIN THE LAMPLIGHTERS!
>WRITE-IN ABOUT THE LAMPLIGHTERS!
>>
>>6099989
She looks adorable and could probably kick all of our asses (not unlike our favorite Skog)! I'd say going forward the characters look like whatever the heck you imagine they do--I'm not gonna give away anything, but I'm glad people already have images forming in their heads!
>>
>>6099998
>JOIN THE LAMPLIGHTERS!
She seems nice...
>>
>>6099998
>>JOIN THE LAMPLIGHTERS!
>>
>>6099998
>"I'd like to say yes, but I have a tiny problem where everyone I work with tends to get involved in horrific and entirely random accidents. I'm a bad luck magnet! It's better if I don't bring that to the lamplighters."
>>
>>6099989
I have no idea who this busty dogbold is, but it seems appropriate. Even is Rezie is bestgirl.

>>6099998
She's making a strong case to be in contention, though.
>JOIN THE LAMPLIGHTERS!
Not like we have anywhere else to be, and staying close to the dragonwoman seems as safe as anywhere else...
>>
>>6099998
>WRITE-IN ABOUT THE LAMPLIGHTERS! Ask if they have dental insurance; at the rate this is going you feel like you're gonna need it.

>>6099999
>>6100005
She comes from a very good roguelike I've recently discovered
It's called "Some Heroines Climb Up a Tower to Ask God Why the Game Has a Name That's So Long" (yes that's the real name) though I'll note it's very NSFW. It's in beta but is being worked on pretty regularly.

>>6100000
Nice quints
>>
>>6100000
>>6100003
>>6100005
>JOIN THE LAMPLIGHTERS!

>>6100004
>DON'T JOIN THE LAMPLIGHTERS (BUT FOR GOOD REASON)

>>6100064
>ASK ABOUT DENTAL INSURANCE OF THE LAMPLIGHTERS!

Writing!

>>6100064
Gotcha--I was like "woah, this anon works fast on these drawings!"
>>
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Your past is still a little foggy, but you distinctly remember being a guy who doesn’t commit to things easily, especially when they require work. Still, you’ll probably need all the allies you can get in this new world, not to mention it’ll help you get the lay of the land.

Alright, you nod, you’ll do it.

Volka lets out a resigned sigh. “Okay, I understand–just thought I’d float the ideWAIT, WHAAAA???!!?

If you were wearing your RING OF ECHOS your head might have exploded just now–instead your ears just start ringing. Y-yea, you stammer over the fresh batch of Tinnitus, you wanna join!

You’re still not certain what a Skog looks like, much less Volka, but the high-pitched squeal that escapes her lips is neither something you expected nor thought possible for a girl her size. The Grand Marshall, it seems, is full of surprises. And energy.

Leaping up and down like a dog about to get a treat, Volka clasps her massive claws on your shoulders and spins you around like a very confused Hammer Thrower!

ICAN’TBELIEVEITI’MSOEXCITEDWE’REGONNAMAKECROSSROADSSUCHAWONDERFULPLACEANDEVERYONE’SGONNALOVEYOUANDYOU’REGONNADOGREATI’LLTEACHYOUEVERYTHINGYOUNEEDTOKNOWANDALLTHEGREATTRICKSNOWMOROOKMIGHTJOINANDAAUGHI’MSOEXCIIITEEDD!

By the time she stops twirling, your lungs, heart, and a few other organs have made their way down to your feet! With no horizon to focus on, all you can do is bite your lip and try to point your still-spinning eyes at Volka’s beaming face…

“You won’t regret it, Ant… or should I say ROOKIE?” She adds with a mischievous giggle! “Us Lamplighters stick together through thick or thin!”

Shwell… jusht one thing, zho…

The amazon blinks and cocks her massive head to the side. “Hmmm?”

It’s just that, you begin as your organs slosh back to their usual stations, everyone you work with tends to run into horrific and totally random accidents… you’re a bad luck magnet, is what you’re saying.

“Oh pshaw!” Volka remarks as she unhands one of your shoulders to wave your explanation away, “You’re not bad luck, Rookie…”

The last time you explained this the bridge you were standing on collapsed and you fell off a mountain, you retort. Not to mention every cultist in the temple you woke up in died screaming and snacked on by a pack of freakish BEAK WOLVES and a bratty devil queen.

Your Grand Marshall digests your explanation for a moment before shrugging her broad shoulders. “Trust me, Rookie–that’s just a regular day in the life of a Lamplighter!”

… How many Lamplighters have there been anywa-

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6100109
“So don’t worry your tiny little head about it, okay? Besides, skills like fighting, footwork, and staying calm when covered in acid can all be taught! You know what can’t be taught?”

Luck?

HEART,” She replies as she nearly pokes your eye out trying to place a claw on your chest, “You can’t. Teach. Heart.”

One more thing, you add as you dodge her razor-sharp claw, do they offer dental?

“Dental? Like… teeth?”

Yea, you nod, like keeping them clean?

“Hah! Worry not, chum–teeth grow back!”

Um-

Giving your nose one last poke, the girl gives you a gentle shake before continuing down the unseen path with renewed spring in her step. She probably gets about four notes of her humming in before another thought distracts her.

“Say, Rook–since we’re comrades-in-tail now until we die, I just realized I don’t know anything about you!”

Yea, you reply sheepishly, your mind’s been pretty foggy ever since you arrived here… you’re still piecing things together yourself!

“Oooh, how INTERESTING!” Volka laughs. “You’re gonna have to fight off hordes of ladies with that mysterious air about you, Rook!” You take an elbow to the face that was probably supposed to be a playful nudge. “Just kiddiiiiing~” Clearing her throat, the amazon swings you back and forth like a toddler would a lunchbox. “Really though, I’ve been jabbering for far too long! Tell me about Anton! Who is he? What is he? Where is he… erm, from?”

What do you tell her?
>Tell her about where you’re from!
>Tell her about yourself!
>Tell her about humans!
>Tell her about your dimension!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6100111
>Tell her about your dimension!
>Tell her about humans!
In keeping with our mysterious air, let's talk about everything but ourselves.
Besides, she will come to know the LORE if we stick together.
>>
>>6100111
>"I'm a member of the F.B.I. on Earth. The Federal Boob Inspectors. It's incredibly important work."
>>
>>6100111
>>6100118
I’ll support this
>>
>>6100134
This is too stupid not to also include!
Seconding it
>>
>>6100111
I had the stuff up in >>6099887 that may as well go here. I’ll support >>6100118 as well.

For >>6100134, clarify that breast cancer awareness is a pretty big thing where you’re from. You’re happy to play your part in finding it. Noooot sure if it’s a concern here though, what with no humans anywhere we know about.
>>
>>6100134
Fucking kek

>>6100118
>>6100134
>>6100135
>>6100142
>>6100157
>Tell her about your dimension, humans, tech, color...Also you're a member of the F.B.I

Here goes something! Writing
>>
>>6100118
>>6100134
+1

>>6100111
>>
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It’s no small feat to package the entirety of human innovation and history into a few posts, but if anyone can do it, it’s ANTON PEAS! You may not remember much of who you are, but you can give Volka the broad strokes, right?

The girl hangs on every word as the path once again departs from the fungi-scented trees and into a winding, rocky path assaulted on all sides by winds that feel strong enough to blow you away! Your guide holds firm, however, and her eyes light up with childlike excitement as you tell her everything, especially when you mention trains!

“And this ‘Innt’uurneht’... it can find anything you want?! Answer any question!?”

Yep, you nod, just another one of humanity’s greatest inventions!

“And these ‘Cats’... they just live there?”

No, you frown, you’ve been over this–the stuff on the internet is just an image… a copy. But, you add with a shrug, there was a cat somewhere... That’s the only way the picture could have been taken!

“I get it now…” Volka nods, most likely not ‘getting it’, ”Wow… so getting a picture taken means you basically live forever…”

You didn’t really think of it like that before, you reply, but you suppose so! As you finish your response, the amazon comes to a halt with a look of determination on her face. “Such a weird place… so much information… and so many people arguing… forever…”

Hey, it’s a bit more complicated than that, you add, a little hurt at her simple breakdown of the greatest invention ever, people also insult each other too!

“Rookie,” Volka begins, “This ‘Intoornit’ of yours… we should MAKE it!”

You do miss it, you nod, but-

“It would change all of the Darklands! For the better!” Gripping you by the shoulders, Volka brings you close to her face, her eyes wide and glittering like gemstones! “How do we do it!? Tell me!”

Well uh, you stammer, you’re um… you’re not sure. Volka’s expression visibly deflates as she cocks her head to the side. “B-but… but you humans made it…”

Yea, well… someone ELSE made it, you explain in an apologetic tone. You just uh… use it. For stuff.

“Like what?”

A chill runs down your spine as you realize what corner you’ve backed yourself into! Important stuff, you mutter! For work!

“Oh yea, you haven’t mentioned anything about YOU yet!” The amazon nods, already forgetting the last hour or so of exposition! “Do you work at one of those ‘Zooz’ you told me about? I hope so!”

You open your mouth to give her the grim truth, but something causes you to stop… something WICKED!

The truth is, you begin in a grave tone, you work for the FBI...

“What’s that? Is it like the Lamplighters?”

Almost, you nod. You’re a… Federal Boob Inspector…

>Roll 1d100+15 (+5 Volka Gullible, +5 Volka Trust +5 No Sense of Right or Wrong, Apparently) for reasons! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 21 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>6100204
>>
Rolled 2 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>6100204
>>
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>>6100210
>>6100224
We have one more shot at this, FBI Anons.
>>
Rolled 36 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>6100204
>>
>>6100210
>>6100224
>>6100230
>HIGHEST ROLL: 51
Writing, you Satans...
>>
>>6100245
I’m happy we only have a marginal success at best. I didn’t want her taking it too seriously.
>>
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“‘Khaahn-Xer:’ there’s no potions that can cure it?”

No, you reply with a shake of your head, the best treatment is to catch it early… and that’s where YOU come in!

“Wow…” Remarks Volka as she digests what you told her, “Those poor human women…”

It’s tough, you sigh, but it’s really for the best. You’re not sure if the disease in in this world too, but-

Before you can continue this weird joke/sham you pulled out of your ass, you feel yourself being lowered to the ground before a pair of metal pieces land on the path with resounding ‘CLANG’s.

Volka, you mutter, what’s going o-

You hear the gentle giant kneel next to you, a look of genuine concern in her yellow saucery eyes.

“I know it’s silly, but…” She stammers, genuinely biting her lip to stave off fear, “B-but can you… ch-check?”

Part of you is disgusted. Disgusted that you abused Volka’s trust, that you capitalized on her whimsy and curiosity.

Another part of you, however, is fuckin’ STOKED.

+1 DEVIL POINTS

Okay, you stammer as you attempt to feign professionalism in an area you have practically zero experience with, let’s uh… let me just-

You feel something snap inside your chest as a pair of claws firmly, but gently grab your wrists and guide both of your hands towards-

Dear LORD...

“C’mon,” Groans Volka with fear in her voice, “Really GET IN THERE!”
The next few minutes are a total blur, even more so than your memories. More chipper than ever, Volka continues to carry you along the road humming her song louder than ever!

“Yep, nothing like a clean bill of health, right, Rook?” She asks in a singsong voice! “You’re just full of surprises, y’know that?”

You gurgle a response, mind still occupied by what just happened. Even with the scales it was… she is…

All you can do is gulp. Size… shape…They defied any and all explanations–they simply… were...

Maybe ending up here wasn’t so bad after all…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6100291
It takes a while before you recover from what very well may be a memory you’ll never forget, but once you do you realize you’re still walking. Where IS this Crossroads place anyways?

“Should arrive on the main road soon!” Reports Volka without any hint of tiredness in her voice. “Why, getting tired of me already? Just kidding~”

Quite the opposite, in fact… say, you begin, she mentioned before that most people don’t remember the world before light went away, right?

“Yep!” Your guide nods, “My dad wasn’t around before that happened, but he read a lot of books and knew mages who DID exist back then! He says once upon a time everything had a ‘color’... Y’know, like you mentioned earlier! Gee, I hope I can see a firetruck one day… red seems like a great color!”

Thinking of the truck with a smile on her face, Volka looks down at you with a curious expression. “What color do you think I am, Rook? I bet you’re something neat… like GOLD or something!”

Her color, huh? Well when you think of scales you think GREEN... that’s the color of grass… trees…

“HAH! Can you imagine!?” The amazon laughs, her tail swishing with mirth, “I’d look like a big mound of GRASS! Scary, right?”

Well there are different shades too… it’s hard to explain without any examples, though.

“Well I guess you’ll just have to show me one day~” Shrugs Volka as her armor pieces continue to clank like some strange wind chime. “And we can take a picture, too!”

Sure, you smirk, once you find a way home you’ll be sure to leave the way open!

“Orrrr maybe if light ever returns here…” She retorts with a resigned sigh. “You’re right though–we need to get you home. Your family and friends are probably worried sick!”

Neither come to mind as you mull over Volka’s words… you’re not sure if you’re happy or upset about it.

“Hey, Rook… what’s your FAVORITE color?”

>RED
>BLUE
>GREEN
>YELLOW
>ORANGE
>PURPLE
>WRITE-IN!

Also...
>Roll me 1d100-3 (-5 Loud, -5 Distracted, +7 Volka Senses) for reasons! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 13 + 3 (1d100 + 3)

>>6100292
>RED
My personal favorite. Though I also like GREEN (Green Ranger was the coolest Ranger) and PURPLE (color of royalty, for reasons ANTON likely doesn’t know).
>>
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Rolled 32 - 3 (1d100 - 3)

>>6100291
I mean, anyone can feel for lumps, and she asked, so...
Yowza

>>6100292
>RED
>>
Rolled 65 - 3 (1d100 - 3)

>>6100292
Cowards, the lot of you! Rerolling.
>>
>>6100298
>>6100301
>>6100326
>HIGHEST ROLL: 62!
Writing!
Also just something I forgot to mention: Let's keep the rolls to one per player, okay? I forgot to bring it up in the first post, but just wanna make sure everyone gets a chance. I'll count it this time though since it's Sunday and I wanna get some posts in before work tomorrow!

>>6100298
>RED

>>6100301
>spoiler
She's a swell gal!
>>
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>>6100335
It’s a tough choice, you murmur, face scrunched up in thought, but if you had to choose you’d probably pick RED...

“Like the firetruck, right!?” Asks Volka as she connects the dots with a smug grin on her face! “Good choice, Rook… that’s a good choice right there! I like red too!”

No need to pick right now, you warn with a smile on your face, she hasn’t even seen it yet, maybe!

“Hah! All or nothing! No second guesses!” She fires back! “Red though… I’ll have to remember-”

Dropping into a wide stance mid-sentence, your guide doesn’t say a word as she brings her sword close to her chest before swinging outwards like a samurai chopping bamboo! You’re fast enough to grab onto her shield arm, but the unseen target isn’t… a quiet ‘SPLUT’ is all you hear before a pitiful whine sailing through the air culminates in a ‘CRUNCH’ several feet away!

Before you can react, Volka drops you behind her and creates a barrier between you and your attackers with her muscular tail!

“Stay close–no sudden movements.” Before you can ask, your answer comes in the form of a familiar series of clacking beaks… at least FIVE if your ears are working correctly! Relaying the info to Volka, you feel her feet shift a bit to adopt a more solid position. Despite her usual boisterous manner, the Skog becomes a statue when facing down the beasts–the only noise coming from the quick, deliberate swipes of her blade… swatting another beast out of the air that leaps at her side, Volka keeps you close as she pivots to face the pouncer–the beaked baddie winded, but not injured!

“You see one sneaking up, gimme a tap.” She hisses under her breath. “Breathe, Rook.”

You do, but only after her reminder! FIVE beasts remain, and it looks like you’re not leaving until they’re all done and dusted…

Just gotta listen, right?
>ROLL 1d100+5 (+3 Ring of Echos, -5 Noisy Pack of Beasts, +7 Volka Senses) to spot! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 30 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>6100358
Ears open!
>>
Rolled 17 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>6100358
>ROLL 1d100+5 (+3 Ring of Echos, -5 Noisy Pack of Beasts, +7 Volka Senses) to spot! Best of 3!
The noisy malus should reduce as the beasts die. That’ll be good.
>>
>>6100375
So far my plan of only rolling successes has been hard to implement. What could I be missing? It’s only one step!
>>
Rolled 29 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>6100358
>>
>>6100395
>>6100375
>>6100364
Never have I been so sorry to be the MVP of a roll-off. Yikes.
>>
>>6100364
>>6100375
>>6100395
>HIGHEST ROLL: 35!
Writing!
>>6100381
It is a mystery...
>>
>>6100407
At least we can take some punishment…
>>
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The Makkar spread out around you, the menacing of their clicking beaks staggered to hide their numbers. Though outnumbered and outflanked, Volka holds strong…

As for you, well, you’re not exactly as confident. Even with your CURVED BLADE and a few THROWING KNIVES at the ready, you know all too well what happened the last time you squared off with these things… Hell, your arm still hurts! As you try to focus on just one of the clickers, one of the bastards leaps at Volka’s back before you can call it out!

To her credit she’s able to bat it away with her shield… but while the beaked beastie wasn’t ready to get smacked upside the head with the tempered metal, you weren’t either. Feeling the shield collide with the back of your head with all the force a big, scaly truck can muster, it dawns on you just how strong your bodyguard is when you’re launched like a golf ball out from her tail and into the air!

Icy air nips at your face as your skull throbs with pain only a shield to the head can provide, and though you land safely in a patch of what feels like swampy peat, you can already hear the Makkar baying like wolves at your sudden flight!

ANTON!

The beasts don’t give Volka any wiggle-room… based on the clanging you hear, you can only guess that some of the critters are keeping the Skog busy… while at least two monsters click their beaks menacingly as they circle your prone form…

Feeling them close in, the pain in your head grows into a persistent whining in your ears and a burning in your eyes… you just need some help, you think through your muddled mind, it’s not FAIR...

>Roll me 1d100 for reasons! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>6100425
Maybe we can be bad luck for THEM, since they're near us? Come on, bird-killing coincidence!
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>6100425
Are we summoning help?
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>6100425
>>
>>6100426
>>6100427
>>6100536
>HIGHEST ROLL: 82!
Aw hell ye you guys I was gonna go to bed and feel bad about leaving things on a roll, but you GOT there! Writing the last update of the evening!

On an unrelated note, CAPTCHA was 'NMSTD'. Peculiar.
>>
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Anger courses through your blood as the ringing in your ears becomes a rumble! So this is it, huh? Ganked by a pack of stupid monsters you can’t even see moments after you managed to grab a handful of scale? No adventure, no excitement, just a tumble off a bridge followed by feeding the animals?! You never had a goddamn chance… not a CHANCE! you weren’t even supposed to BE here, damn it! Why couldn’t you be a hero just this once!?

Your heart skips a beat as you hear a pair of screeching horrors leap for your stomach. You don’t even bother closing your eyes…

Lucky you. Just when you feel the air shift above you, your hands erupt with an explosion of glowing RED power that sends both of them flying! Blinking in utter confusion, you glance at your palms and nearly let your jaw drop into the moors when you see it…

Both hands burning red hot… and completely visible, no less! As you study the phenomenon, you feel something itching from within your skin yearning to break free… something that wants to FIGHT! To WIN! Just like you!

Why on Earth would you ever say no?

From the depths of the light bursting from your hands, you see it:

>A long red CHAIN, each link spiked and impossibly strong!
>A jagged BLADE, its edge impossibly sharp and dripping with otherworldly energy!
>Motes of FLAMES on your fingertips–each one dancing from digit to digit just yearning to be THROWN… to be USED!
>GAUNTLETS of molten stone–their surfaces cracked and hissing with impossible heat!
>>
That's it for tonight! Seeya around 6pm Mountain Time, folks!
>>
>>6100558
>GAUNTLETS of molten stone–their surfaces cracked and hissing with impossible heat!
>>
>>6100558
>>Motes of FLAMES on your fingertips–each one dancing from digit to digit just yearning to be THROWN… to be USED!
Fire magic is cool and we could be cheeky about it.
>>
>>6100558
>Motes of FLAMES on your fingertips–each one dancing from digit to digit just yearning to be THROWN… to be USED!
We'll perch atop our mighty grand marshall and act as a literal beacon of hope!
>>
>>6100558
>GAUNTLETS of molten stone–their surfaces cracked and hissing with impossible heat!
>>
>>6100558
>Motes of FLAMES on your fingertips–each one dancing from digit to digit just yearning to be THROWN… to be USED!
Fire is an origin of hope, of control, and most importantly, light. More so than any of the others. I wonder if we can make a permanent light source with this?
>>
>>6100558
>>Motes of FLAMES on your fingertips–each one dancing from digit to digit just yearning to be THROWN… to be USED!
>>
>>6100558
>Motes of FLAMES on your fingertips–each one dancing from digit to digit just yearning to be THROWN… to be USED!
I wonder if others can see the magic here like we can. Will it freak them out, seeing something when so many are used to a world without light?

Unrelated to the above, maybe we shouldn’t use fire judiciously until we’re sure we won’t catch a forest on fire. Are we still on the rocky path? If not, we may want to use the ring to listen for where the ground isn’t grass and get Volka over there, or mix it up at closer range by smashing fireballs into their faces.
>>
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>>6100568
>>6100580
>>6100636
>>6100639
>Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire!

>>6100592
>>6100564
>Gauntlet: Dark Legacy

Writing!

>>6100686
You're gonna have to tangle with HIM
>>
>>6100992
He got retired and replaced by someone's pokemon fox oc
>>
>>6101002
The lung cancer from all those wildfires probably caught up with him.

Poor Smokey. If only our health system weren’t so fucked, you might have stood a chance.
>>
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They skip across your glowing hands like sparks off a campfire–their warm, crimson hue almost comforting as you stare mesmerized by their dance.

The eerie light they give off should hurt–your eyes should be stinging… but as the flames scurry to your fingertips, all you can do is smile and bask in the warmth they impart… and the PAIN they’ll bring to your enemies!

One of the Makkar you launched comes back, this time spinning through the air based on the whining. Coating you in a thin shower of blood as it goes, you hear its lower half impact somewhere to your left. Guess Volka’s keeping busy.

The beak beast’s compadre, however, would rather try his luck on you! Racing across the mud with a menacing shriek, the monster’s feet betray their owner when you hear them leave the ground! With a flick of your fingers, you send a fireball the size of your fist sailing towards the beakwolf and give a grim cheer as your assailant’s body erupts in a blinding conflagration!

The monster tumbles to the mud crackling like a marshmallow that fell into the flames. Whether it’s the sight of their friend sizzling or just the sight of the roaring red flames amidst the yawning darkness, the remaining pack members scamper off into the dark yelping like puppies!

It’s only after you make your way over to the impromptu bonfire that you realize you haven’t breathed. Gasping for breath, you drop to your knees as you watch the flames slowly die out…

Only the sound of creaking armor breaks you out of your trance.

“Mitaar, Anton…” Sputters Volka, her yellow eyes still wide from the spectacle that just unfolded, “I’m so sorry… I-I mean, that was AMAZING… I mean, are you oka…wh-what the HELLS was THAT?!?

Dropping to her knees next to you, the Skog’s eyes slowly shift from the dying embers of your BeakBQ over to the glowing red outline around your hands.

“That,” you pant, “Was the color RED....”

Volka blinks her saucer eyes in recognition.

“... interesting claws ya’ got there, Rook…”

Bringing them closer to your muddy face, all you can do is slowly nod in response as the red fades away. No kidding…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6101063
Does she get it now?

“Mhm! Clear as a crystal!”

But she's never seen a crystal, right?

"Mhm!"

Whatever. Humans…

“... do NOT normally have FIRE POWERS.” Volka concludes with a nod. “Unless they have a flamethrower! Or a bomb!”

Ooooorrr?

“Oooor they’re a MAGICIAN!” She concludes with a triumphant laugh!

Perfect, you smile, she’s got it!

“Damned right I do,” the Skog announces with a bellyful of laughter! “Rookie?”

Yea?

“Question: what the Hells was that?”

That, you reply as you rub your chin in thought, is a very, VERY good question… one you don’t really have an answer to.

“Hmmm…” Volka ponders as she scratches something on her unseen face, “And you never did that before? Even before you arrived in Zoral?”

No, you frown, If you had ever done that before you definitely would have remembered it. You definitely wouldn’t be working at a Deep-Fried Everything joint…

“What’s a Deep-Fried Everything joint?”

Err, nothing, you mutter, just something you remembered.

She’s not ready for fried food yet…

“Do you at least remember how you made it happen?” She asks as she cocks her puzzled head to the side. “Can you do it again?”

No and no, you growl as you through your no longer outlined hands up in frustration! Man, and it was so useful too!

“Well whatever it was, you shouldn’t have even needed it…” Growls Volka as she smacks her head against something metal, “If I’d have just done my dumb job...”

Hey, you frown, it wasn’t her fault… it was those lousy players and their shitty dice rolls! Blame THEM!

“No, it was me…” The Skog groans as she smacks her head again, “Big Dumb Volka, can’t even scare off a pack of Makkar…. If they had gotten you….I…”

Hey, you retort with a smirk, it’ll take more than that to kill ANTON PEAS, alright? Giving your bodyguard a reassuring pat on the shoulder, you take a few steps in the direction you think the road is and look back at her. Come on, you begin, we’ve got a road to gAAAAUUUBLBLPH

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6101065
After a few minutes being extracted from a surprise sinkhole, you and Volka hit the road again… and by you and Volka you mean Volka carries you!

“Should reach the main road soon!” She reports with renewed confidence in her chipper voice! “Start thinking of what you wanna do in Crossroads first, Rook!”

Before you can answer, you feel a cool, wet glob hit your cheek. Then another. And another.

“Oh NO...” Groans your guide as she tries to shield you with her body, “Talk about poor timing…”

You get your answer long before you can ask: a rumble of thunder rides across the unseen sky as the sprinkle becomes a shower! Pelted with drops as big as softballs, all you can do is curl up as Volka lumbers along the road as fast as she can!

What now, you sputter as a drop splatters against your face!

“We keep going!” Replies the guide, her voice fighting a losing battle against the rain and thunder! “Not to Crossroads, though–too risky to travel through this!”

Then where, you reply as your robe starts to weigh you down, a cave or something!?

“Better! There’s an INN just down the way!”

Stomping her boot on the road, the girl laughs a bit! “Road’s got writing on it! ‘The Far Throw Inn’ dead ahead!”

Sounds great, you nod, sending water trickling down your face, you can use a drink after everything that’s happened!

“Just ONE?” Scoffs the Skog, “You wish!”

Scampering through the storm like a pair of rats through a leaky pipe, it isn’t long before you hear the faint sound of revelry in the distance–laughter, cheers, the trills, thrums, and toots of unfamiliar instruments!

“Well pop in until the storm lifts, yea?” Asks your walking umbrella as she shakes a layer of rain off her body.

Right, you nod with a professional tone, just until the storm lifts.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6101066
Compared to the yawning wilderness outside, The Far Throw Inn feels like a whole other planet! After a few decent attempts at yanking open what must be the heaviest door in Zoral, you let Volka take the wheel and try not to look too annoyed when she gets it open in one shove.

Like a chihuahua in front of a fire hose, you’re LAUNCHED backwards by a gale-force combination of body heat and noise that sends you tumbling into Volka’s leg!

“Careful, Rook,” She warns in a good natured voice as she picks you up and places you back on your feet, “Getting trampled in an Inn is the leading cause of death in the Darklands, y’know!”

What’s the second one?

SHADOW ASSASSINS,” she replies with nary a beat, “But don’t go waving that name around.”

Riiiight, you nod, you’ll try to be carefOW!

“Watch it, freak!”

Sticking to Volka’s side like a child in a supermarket, you manage through some divine providence to find a free bench… placing you in a seat like a purse, Volka sits next to you and raps her knuckles against the wood!

“Boy are YOU in for a treat!” She remarks as you hear her rummaging around in one of her side pouches, “The first human to try RUUPPAA!! Lucky you!”

What’s that supposed to be? Some kind of drink?

“Ambrosia of the GODS, Rook. I won’t spoil the surprise!”

Before you can dig deeper, you hear a pair of small feet scamper over to your seat!

“Welcome to The Far Throw, hon! What’s yer’ poison?”

“HAH! No poison for me, thanks!” Volka replies with a booming laugh that definitely gets the attention of a few other patrons, “Me and my friend here could go for some Ruuppa… and maybe a bite to go with it!”

“Oh! My apologies miss, didn’t notice ya!” Apologizes the waitress with a sheepish look in her eyes!

Actually, you begin, you’re a guy-

“Two Ruuppaas, then? As for the food, well, we’ve got a FRY, a SIMMER, and a ROAST--all served with side shrooms an’ tuber jam.”

Well, you begin, what’s uh… what’s your recommendation, Volk?

“Food is GOOD!”

Great…

Whatcha order?
>FRY!
>SIMMER!
>ROAST!
>Just Booze!
>WRITE-IN!
>>
>>6101067
>ROAST!
>>
>>6101067
>ROAST!
>>
>>6101067
>FRY!
>>
>>6101067
>>ROAST!
Also our eyes turned red when we used our powers, that could mean something.
>>
>>6101108
>score a devil point
>eyes go devil-red like Rezzie
Hmmm
>>
>>6101082
>>6101086
>>6101108
>ROAAAAAST!

>>6101088
>FRY!

Writing the last update of the night!
>>
>>6101067
>ROAST!
My personal fave again.

>>6101108
>>6101109
We were summoned at the same time Rezzie was. We probably got cross-contaminated with another devil due to magic fuckery.

Which means the Mitaar Temple Guard may well kill us if they see our powers. I would very much like if they DIDN’T do that, so maybe we should be on best behavior around them?
>>
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The ROAST sounds good, you respond as you sniff the warm, savory, buttery-rich tavern air and find yourself drooling, what’s in it?

“Well I can’t really give you specifics, sug,” Replies the waitress, “but I can say with absolute certainty that it’s meat and it’ll taste SCRUMPTIOUS!

Huh, you reply with an eyebrow raised, secret recipe, huh? I getcha!

“Oh no, I just can’t really give you specifics on what goes into it.” She clarifies with a sweet smile! “But it usually turns out good!”

“I’ll get one too!” Adds Volka with her usual enthusiasm! “Oh, and before I forget…” Reaching into one of her many pouches, she pulls out a clawful of jingling trinkets and deposits them into the waitress’ apron! “Don’t run too far now, okay?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, hon!” She replies as she pockets the baubles and skitters away to grab your order.

“Don’t worry, Rook–dinner’s on me tonight!” Announces the Skog as she nearly caves in your clavicle giving it a good-natured pat! “On second thought, eat it on the table! Much less ticklish! Just kidding~”

What was that you gave to the waitress, hm? Some kind of money? Volka responds by producing another one of the objects out of her pouch and jingles it next to your face. “This, my friend, is a ONE-JINGLE BELL. It’s what we use to pay for things around here!”

As your bodyguard gives the bell another shake, you notice that it rings at the exact same tone as it did before!

“You can tell it’s a ONE-JINGLE by the sound it makes!” She adds with a conspiratorial wink! “They’ve got TEN-JINGLES, FIFTY-JINGLES, ONE-HUNDRED…

Woah, you remark with wide eyes, can she show you a One-Hundred?

“Nope, don’t got one.” Replies Volka flatly.

What about a Fifty?

“Nyyope.”

“Ten?”

You hear her rummage around in the pouch. “Eheheh… m-maybe we’ll just open a tab…”

Day 1 in Fantasy Land and you’re gonna spend it doing dishes... Grody…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6101141
“Here you are, kids!” Announces the waitress as she places a pair of metal tankards in front of you! “Food’ll be out in a shake of a tail!”

“Dooohohoho~ you’re in for a TREAT, Rook!” Giggles Volka as she snatches up her mug, sending sweet-smelling frothy liquid all over the table! “This is RUUPPAA: the best drink you’ll ever forget you had!”

Cautiously scooting your tankard over to your side of the table, you give the concoction a whiff as an effervescent mist tickles your nostrils with a fruity tingle!

What’s, uh… what’s it made of? Can she tell you that?

“Distilled Ruupp fruit!” The amazon replies, as if that explains everything. “They grow this stuff all over Zoral, but the real hotspot’s in the North! Something about the soil up there, I hear.” She concludes with a shrug.

The soil?

“Drink it while it’s warm, Rook!”

Wait a sec, you sputter, aren’t you gonna toast first? Volka stares at you as if you’d just grown antlers.

“... Rook, why the Hells would I want to toast my drink? Did you hit your head falling down that sinkhole earlier?”

Actually it was her shield, but you don’t tell her that. It’s a human thing, you begin, you basically say something you’re drinking to and then click glasses with your friends!

“Huh!” The Skog remarks, “So like… you’re dedicating the drink?”

Yea, you nod, exactly like that! It makes it more… memorable, kinda?

“OOH! Let’s TOAST!” She shouts, slamming her tankard against the table excitedly, “Let’s make the toast!”

“Wuz’ this aboud’ a doasd?” Asks the person sitting next to Volka!

“Aye, Salty Suutz be wantin’ ter’ toast too!” Adds the gruff guy sitting across from you!

“Don’t forget me, bright-eyes~” Adds a high, but sultry voice belonging to a stout stranger standing next to you!

“What are we toasting, Rook?” Volka remarks, prompting everyone to look your way!

Well…
>TO NEW FRIENDS!
>TO NEW BEGINNINGS!
>TO CURING BREAST CANCER!
>TO MITAAR!
>TO HUMANITY!
>WRITE-IN!

Also..

>Roll me 1d100(+5 Stamina, -5 First Time Ruuppaa) Just for reasons! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 1, 2, 2, 2, 1, 3, 3, 2, 5, 1, 1, 4, 3, 3, 3, 5, 1, 3, 4, 3, 4, 2, 3, 3, 4 = 68 (25d5)

>>6101143
>TO NEW BEGINNINGS!
We only really have two and a half new friends so far, and only know one well, so this one.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>6101143
>>6101147
I wish I could see what weird character I must have typed in the diceroller to generate that by accident. Bizarre!

Trying again.
>>
>>6101143
>TO NEW FRIENDS!
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>6101143
>>6101154
Forgot the roll
>>
>>6101148
>>6101155
Oh sweet Mitaar, we're going to be so drunk.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>6101143
>WRITE-IN!
>TO BETTER ROLLS!
>>
>>6101143
>TO CURING BREAST CANCER!
>>
>>6101143
If there’s still a tie by the time qm gets back, I’ll change my vote >>6101191 to support >>6101263
>>
>>6101143
>>6101191
Supporting. To better rolls for us and our friends, to shitty rolls for our enemies, and may fortune and her disciple the RNGesus ever smile on the rest!
>>
>>6101143

>>6101147
Is me, and I'll swap to
>TO NEW FRIENDS!
Over the neta one about dice or taking the FBI gag too far, lest QM start facing us with the consequences of lying to every female alien we know to cop a feel.

Though the green-eyed shortstack seems like she might want to get it.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>6101143
>>TO NEW FRIENDS!
FBI joke has run its course
>>
>>6101191
Seconding

Regarding the booba jokes, maybe don't make it the only trait of Anton. Us being a perv can be fine if it's not the ONLY thing of note.

Besides, with our tendency to break stuff naturally, I do believe there'll be plenty of opportunities for shenanigoogles involving ripped clothes.
>>
>>6101191
>>6101472
> Anton is schizophrenic and thinks a bunch of people watch him and decide his life with die
> he is actually right
>>
>>6101478
oh, also +1
>>
>>6101154
>>6101320
>>6101346
>TO NEW FRIENDS!

>>6101191
>>6101289
>>6101472
>>6101480
>TO BETTER ROLLS!

>>6101263
>TO CURING BREAST CANCER!

>HIGHEST ROLL: 72!

Writing! Got some stuff done earlier today so it might be posted sooner than ya think! GET READY!
>>
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Raising your tankard high above your head, you smile as you make what might be Zoral’s very first toast!

TO BETTER ROLLS! For us AND our friends! And SHIT ROLLS to our enemies!

You can’t help but feel a little bit hurt when the toasters don’t put a lot of heart into it, but hey, these changes and trends take time to root, right?

“What’s a roll?” Asks the green-eyed gal as she leans in closer.

"It's a human thing!" Explains Volka with a dismissive laugh! "Anton here's a human! That means he's from another dimension! Funny stuff, really! Y'know, before we came here my pal Morook took me aside and says to me, he says: 'Volka, it's super important that you don't go around telling everyone that Anton's not from here--it could put him in unnecessary danger! Remember the Slavers, Volka?' and I DO remember the Slavers, so I tell him 'Of COURSE I remember the Slavers, Mor, how could I forget the Slavers? They're Slavers!' And he says 'Well that's just a taste of what could happen--Anton's the only human in Zoral which makes him very valuable to the wrong kind of people, so make sure to keep a lid on it for me, okay?' And I said 'Psssh, no problem!' And Mor grabs my shoulder and gives it a shake which is how I know he's serious because he's a LOT shorter than me and he says 'Volka I NEED you to keep a lid on this. I NEED you to.' And midway through explaining this to all of you I realized I might have made a mistake, so uh, just pretend I'm drunk! And I'm rambling! Drunk and rambling! Yep! Glug glug!"

Yea, you nod as you hear Volka spill half of her tankard all over herself, you're not a human! You're a uh... a Mzz..goe...virr! Yep!!

"For true?!" Replies the gritty voice belonging to the many-eyed guy who introduced himself as Salty Suutz, "Salty Suutz be a Mzz'goe'virr too, y'know! What bein' the odds?"

"Hmmm, nope! Not buyin' it! You definitely smell more... exotic~" Chirps the green-eyed girl next to you. "Anton, right?

Er.... y-yea?

"Now that IS a strange name," continues the green-eye with growing interest, "Where'd ya get it, hmmm??"

"Oi," Warns Volka in an uncharacteristically un-sweet voice, "You heard 'em: he's a Mssisslgoo!"

"What part of Oubous be ye' from, boy?" Inquires Salty Suutz with renewed interest! "I'm bettin' you bein' a Rytztoer, aye? Lovely country, t'is!"

"I havend god any attentiond..." Mopes the other guy who doesn't even have a name, "I'm impordand doo..."

"C'moooon~spill the shroom tea...." Chides the green-eyed girl as she leans against your shoulder with a fuzzy arm, "What's a human, hm? Do they lay eggs? I bet they lay eggs!"

Look you snap as you hide behind your tankard, it was a JOKE, okay!? You're just... you're just a normal.... guy! And you're gonna drink now, so just go back to doing background character things!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6101568
Taking a swig of the drink before anyone else can get a word in, you nearly fall off the bench as its contents hit you like a... like a...

"FRUIT CAAAART?"

Asks Volka as she chugs the rest of her tankard in one swing, "How is it, Rook?"

It's.... delicious, you sputter, eyes wide as the fruity drought tickles your cheeks and throat! Warm, spiced, and flavorful, it feels like someone stuffed your mouth with plums... and then set them on fire! With cinnamon and brown sugar! And a whole barrel of Everclear!

Taking a few more sips, you take a moment to relish the flavor as it slowly makes its way down to your stomach. That, you exhale with a dreamy tilt to your voice, is gooood...

"Knew you'd like it!" Chirps the Skog as she taps her tankard against the table, "Must be nice being small--I need a whole orchard's-worth to get buzzed off of this stuff..." Raising an eyebrow as she watches you drink, your guide smiles and nudges your side, eliciting an unpleasant CRACK in your ribs and nearly sending you tumbling out of your seat! "Eeeyyy, you didn't throw up yet! You sure you're not part Skog, Rook? Ehh? Eeehh? Part Skog?"

Nope, you smirk as you puff out your chest, just a regular ole' human!

"Hu...man.... gotcha..." Mutters a familar voice as she taps something out on a tablet of some kind. "Say, how many tails do you humans have again? Just curious!"

Oh goddamn it. While the other extras seemed to have taken the hint, the green-eyed gremlin loitering next to you hasn't.Can you help her?

"Why yes you CAN, my good sir!" Chirps the pair of green eyes as they start to twinkle! "Y'see, I'm a Spinner by trade-"

"Oh Hells, here we go..." Groans Volka as she raps her empty tankard against the table, "Look, you, we don't want any tales told, ballads belted, or songs sung, so go find someone who's interested, okay?"

"Well I'M someone who's interested!" Counters the Spinner in a tone dripping with smugness, "You can go back to drinking, Tusks, I'm just chatting with my new friend Antoooon~"

"HA! IThat's what YOU think!" Volka retorts with a haughty laugh, "I CAN'T go back to drinking because my replacement DRINK isn't here yet, so th-oh! Thank you~" Chirps 'Tusks' as the waitress slips in and delivers another drink. As Volka follows the spurious Spinner's advice, you're left cornered by the fanged fiend, her green eyes boring holes into your booze-flushed face!

"I just wanna taaaaalk! You humans can do that, riiiiiiiight?" She asks with a bat of her eyelashes.

If pushy had a face.... what do?
>No! Put an egg in your shoe and BEAT IT!
>Who the hell are you anyways?
>What's a Spinner?
>Maybe if she bought you a drink...
>Just stay extremely silent and still! Maybe she'll lose track of you!
>Get to the point: what do you want?
>Volka, a little help?
>Salty Suutz and the other guy! Get 'er!
>WRITE-IN!
>>
>>6101570
>Maybe if she bought you a drink...
the options below this one is very funny, but getting to know people sounds more interesting in the long run
>>
>>6101570
>>Maybe if she bought you a drink...
Getting drunk sounds like a great idea
>>
>>6101570
>Maybe if she bought you a drink...
>...And who are you anyways?
>>
>>6101572
>>6101581
>>6101606
>MAYBE A DRIIIIINK?

>>6101606
>Also who are you?

Writing!
>>
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You’ve dealt with girls like this before… the kind that just won’t leave you alone no matter how much you brush them off…

Yea, no, that was a lie. You’ve never dealt with a girl like that before, not in real life anyways, and while the attention you’ve received for simply being a human is welcome and kinda exciting, you know you’ve got to do the right thing here:

You MIGHT talk to her, you retort as you cross your arms, if uh… she wets your whistle a bit!

“You want to wet yourself?” She asks as her foxy grin falters a bit.

No, damn it, you groan, you could use another DRINK! If she gets you a drink-

“Oho~not a problem at all, Anton, at least for a Durher of MY standing…” Snapping her claws for the waitress, the Spinner maybe tries for a good minute before grabbing your tankard and slamming it repeatedly on the table!

“Want another, hon?” Inquires the waitress as she seemingly emerges from nowhere!

“Oh he WILL! Put it on my tab, if you please!” The girl replies as she gives you a wink!

“... do you have a tab open, sweetheart?” Your interviewer’s eyes bug out.

“Erm… I would… like to open one, actually! Yes, that’ll do me just fine!” She adds, rolling her eyes with a derisive ‘pfft!’

“Name?”

“Oh, er…” Leaning in close to the waitress, the Spinner mutters something that gets the waitress nodding in recognition! “Ohh, I’ve heard of you! You’re the one w-”

“Y-yep, yep, that’s me!” Sputters your benefactor as she nods her head so fast you can hear her neck crack! “Less recognition, more serving, please!”

As the waitress scuttles off, the Spinner lets out a quiet sigh before turning back your way with renewed confidence on her face! “Ahhh… fame… what a curse, am I right?”

You polish off the rest of your tankard and respond with a stony look on your face. Yea, no. Who the hell is she anyways?

“Oh, little ole’ me?” The girl retorts with a polite chuckle, “My name, dear Anton, is TZAH-TZIE MOLEVOY: Esteemed Spinner and, if you act now, one of your dearest and most trusted friends!”

“Ohoho, I KNEW I recognized you!” Exclaims your bodyguard as she slams her freshly-empty drink on the table! “You’re the one that gets all of her patrons ki- oh, much obliged!”

As your bodyguard helpfully gets back to boozing with a fresh drink, you raise an eyebrow at your potential ‘dearest and most trusted friend’. What’s that about getting all of her patrons ki-?

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6101686
KISSED!” She interjects with bulging eyes! “Ooh, uh… once people hear my songs they just can’t help but fall in love with my patrons! When was the last time you’ve been kissed, hmm, Anton?”

You don’t remember, you say proudly, and not because you’ve never been kissed, but because you can barely remember anything about yourself! So HA!

“Well stock up on breath potions, stud, because I just so happen to have an open schedule for the all-foreseeable future… and this ‘Human’ thing you’ve got going for you, well… I think it’ll sell like a box full of Tusk Oil in a Skog den!”

“Oh yea, I gotta buy more of that…” Mutters Volka in between double-fisting tankards.

So wait, you frown, she wants to what… write a song about you? Tzah-Tzie nods as a toothy grin forms on her face!

“Anton, my dear, where’s your imagination? I want to IMMORTALIZE you! To make your story a legend sung in every corner of Zoral!” She leans in a little closer. “With all exclusive rights, naturally.”

Okay, you laugh, but you’re just a visitor… you haven’t done anything noteworthy yet save for nearly dying a few times and surviving that mushroom Volka dared you to eat!

“And MODEST, to boot! The people are gonna loooooove that!” Chuckles TT as she taps away at something in her unseen claws! “Let’s get down to brass tacks, Ant–what’s your game here, exactly? Lift the darkness? Slay evil? World domination? C’mon, gimme something to work with here!”

What, like goals?

“Yea, goals!” She nods as she leans in closer! “Let’s hear ‘em–no better time to workshop than now, right? When we’re all comfy?”

What ARE your goals!?
>I just wanna go home, dude.
>I mean… I guess I could lift the darkness!
>Fortune and glory, kid.
>Kicking evil’s ass seems pretty appropriate!
>Right now I just wanna get to Crossroads.
>Apparently I have flame powers now, so…
>To find TRUE LOVE!
>Make BANK!
>The pursuit of knowledge, maybe?
>I’m still working on those, to be honest…
>Write-In!
>>
That's it for tonight, folks--dinner went a little late and I might be getting sick! Should have some more for ya at the usual time tomorrow! Thanks for being patient and seeya at the next one!
>>
>>6101688
She gets all her patrons killed, huh? I guess we’re fine as long as we don’t give her any money then.

>So we’re just workshopping, right? So what sounds good…
>I don’t remember EVERYTHING about who I am. I need to fix that.
Play the mysterious angle
>Magic’s pretty cool, so I want in on that!
Play the power-seeking angle
>I’m part of the LAMPLIGHTERS now so I guess I gotta help them.
Play the selfless angle.
>I just wanna not die and do better here than back home.
The real angle. But that doesn’t make for a cool story.
>>
>>6101688
>I just wanna Grill, for god's sake!
>>
>>6101688
>I’m still working on those, to be honest…
>Right now I just wanna get to Crossroads.
oh and I guess...
>I’m part of the LAMPLIGHTERS now so I guess I gotta help them.
>>
>>6101688
>>6101694
+1
>>
>>6101688
>>6101723 +1
>>
>>6101694
+1
>>
>>6101694
+1
>>
>>6101694
>>6101776
>>6101845
>>6101993
>Memories, Magic, and Militia!

>>6101713
>Grillslaveeee

>>6101723
>>6101796
>Still working on it
>Crossroads!
>Lamplighters!

Writing! And Posting because I got shit done at work!
>>
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Workshopping, huh?

"That's right! No wrong answers! No inhibitions! Let's get it all out on the table!" Just when you're about to get it all on the table, a heavenly aroma of gravy, spices, and savory goodness slowly sashays past your nostrils...

"Hope you've got an appetite, hon," Chirps the waitress as she places a steaming bowl in front of you, "Because this one's just for you! And for the lady..."

"Oh HELLS yes..." The other bowl doesn't even touch the table for a second before Volka snatches it and dumps the contents into her waiting mouth! Washing it down with the remainder of her drink, Volka doesn't even have to ask as the waitress plops a pair of replacement mugs in front of her. They're gonna run out of tankards at this rate!

"Dishish da' lifgh...." Mumbles the Skog as she keeps the party going. Thoroughly inspired, you move to try some of your own food, but blink in confusion when it isn't where you left it! What the Hell!?

"Sho," Continues Tzah-Tzie as she licks her chops, "Goalsh?"

Did... is she eating your food??

"Jusht checkingh it fer' poishun!" She replies with a wink as she takes another sip, "Y'nrbbr gnow... Mmm, thash good..." Clearing her throat, the Spinner holds your bowl hostage with a cheeky grin on her face! "Phew! C'mon, make with the goals already! It's getting cold!"

Well, you huff, not bothering to hide your growing irritation with the whole situation, ever since you've arrived you've had trouble remembering who you are, so getting your memories back is pretty high on your To-Do List.

"Ohoho, mysterious~" Remarks the Durher as she taps away at whatever she has in her paws. "Yea... yea, that's good! I can work with that!"

You also just learned that magic's a thing here, you add, making sure not to let slip about your little 'episode' you had earlier, so you want in on that!

"A human in pursuit of power... a new twist on an old classic!" TT raises an eyebrow your way, intrigued. "But how curious... they don't have magic in your plane?" Nah, you respond, well... not unless you count making things disappear and pulling rabbits out of hats.

"Rabbits?"

"Ooh!" Volka grunts, eyes wide in recognition, "Magicians!"

Never mind... Can you eat the food you ordered now?

"Of course!" The Spinner replies before snatching the bowl away again, "AFTER one more goal! Threes are lucky, y'know~"

Yea, you'll bet...

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6102158
Well, you sigh, you uh... you joined The Lamplighters recently-

"Lamplighters?" Replies the green-eyed girl as she cocks her head to the side, "In Crossroads, right? The vigilante group led by that insane Sko-oh. Oooh...."

As the realization settles in for TT, Volka lets out a low chuckle as she slams her tankard on the table. "That's right! Say hello to our fif-err, fourth member!"

"Didn't you used to have six?" Asks the Spinner, eliciting a sudden coughing fit from your Grand Marshall, "Ohhh, so THAT'S why the guards cordoned off the canals last week.... y'know, they found a LOT of organs-"

"Y-yea, well..." Stammers Volka as she drains the rest of her replacement drinks, "Big talk from a Spinner who's only famous for getting her patrons killed!"

TT's eyes widen as the table around you quiets down. "That's SLANDER and you know it! Why would I willingly get my patrons killed, hmm? Lousy business model for a professional who relies on PR!"

"You tell me!" Counters Volka with fire in her yellow eyes! "I lost some good drinking mates thanks to your little grift--same story every time I ask around! 'Oh, he went off with that Ta-Tee girl! Said he was gonna strike it big!' Please...'" She scoffs with a derisive snort!

"It's a dangerous occupation!" TT counters as she haughtily sticks her tongue out! "What, are you gonna blame the Waitress if you drink yourself to death!? The Innkeeper?!"

"HAH! Not possible!" Boasts Volka as she rises from her seat to her full, hulking height and gives her bare stomach a loud slap! "I've got an iron stomach!"

"And a hollow head!" Snarls the Spinner as she bares her fangs!

"You're gonna LOSE yours if you keep barking!" Roars your guide, the sheer volume sending your hair on end!

"Wait til' you see my BITE!"

Politely sipping your drink between the two ladies, you quietly contemplate if you should go for your Roast or not. Part of you wouldn't mind seeing these two fight, especially if it involves wrestling, but the kinder and far more boring parts know you should probably stop them before they break something... or someone. Like you.

Now that you think about it, you can't really watch them, so what's the point?

What do?
>Nothing. Let 'em hash it out themselves! You've got food to eat!
>Distract them!
>Cool it, TT, or the deal's off!
>Both of you CHIILL!
>Volka, simmer down!
>Salty Suutz! Other Guy! Get 'em!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6102161
>Distract them!
let me get this straight: all 3 of us have a track record of being having and aura of misfortune? great. i hope it balances out. otherwise we wont live to leave this place
>>
>>6102170
+1, but also
>Get a couple bites of Roast after the line.

>>6102161
>>
>>6102161
>Distract them!
With some math!

So Volka keeps losing LAMPLIGHTERS. TT keeps losing patrons. We keep losing pets, plants, friends, our home planet, maybe some other things we can’t remember.

Do they think our collective bad luck for others around us is strong enough to cause this place to catch fire or something? Maybe we should leave. After we finish our ROAST, of course.

AKA
>>6102170
+1
>>
>>6102170
>>6102176
>>6102191
>DISTRACT
>ROAST!
Writing! Sorry, was playing Star Fetchers. Shit's cash if you haven't checked it out!
>>
>>6102161
>Distract them!
>>
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Watching your new pals hiss and spit at each other like a pair of alley cats, a sudden realization hits you… you’ve got to do something!

Quietly taking your bowl and moving out of the way of the inevitable fight, you bring the bowl to your lips… but find yourself hesitating. Guys, you groan as the two start to square up, you’re gonna get us kicked oooouuuuttt… and it’s wet outsiiiiidee….

If the girls hear you, they sure don’t show it! Putting your bowl down as gently as you would a savory, steaming child, you situate yourself between the furious females and hold out your hands to separate them! Okay, you sigh, let’s simmer down a lOOF!

Caught between a Spinner and a hard place, your eyes pop out of their sockets as your body is squeezed between the two girls like a chew toy!

“AAAAHH! Anton!”
“ROOKIE!”

Snapping out of their collective stupidity, TT and Volka both rush to assist you as you crumble like an old candy wrapper onto the inn’s sticky, greasy floor!

“Are you okay!?” Sputters the Spinner as she frantically smacks your face with her bushy tail! “Hells, why does this ALWAYS happen!?”

“Wake up, Ant!” Stammers the Skog as she furiously smacks your face with her scaly tail! “Hells, why does this ALWAYS happen!?”

That’s… a good point… actually… you reply, stuffing your eye back into its socket with your thumb as you unpeel yourself from the floor! All three of you have some pretty rotten luck, huh?

“Eh?” Asks Tzah-Tzie as she cocks her head to the side, “What do you mean?”

Everyone and everything around you tends to run into bad luck, you explain as Volka helps you to your feet, like REALLY bad luck.

“Aw, c’mon, Rook!” Laughs Volka as she gives your back a gentle (for her, at least) smack, “It can’t be that bad-”

You can barely remember the details of where you lived before coming here, you explain, but you can recall in perfect detail how your coworker smelled after falling into one of the deep fryers at work… it’s BAD.

“W-well…” TT replies with a swish of her tail, “Maybe all of our luck problems will… cancel eachother out?”

Before you can answer, your conversation is overshadowed by the sound of someone taking a tumble onto the ground with a deafening CRACK!

“Oh nae!” Shouts Salty Suutz, “Thar lad what be beggin’ ta’ get attention from us! He broke ‘is arceptyx!”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6102266
As the inn occupants scurry over to poke at the body, you and the girls exchange a worried glance. You’re no math wizard, you begin, but TT keeps losing patrons… Volka loses recruits… and you’ve lost who knows what…

“What are you getting at, Rook?” Asks Volka as she takes a swig of someone’s drink.

I’m thinking we should get outta here before our combined luck causes something really bad, you reply.

“Bud schingk ofgh drh SCHTORIESH!” Mumbles Tzah-Tzie! “Enny bublishidy ish gud bublishidy…”

She literally just said that her career hinges on PR. Also is she eating your food again?! The Durher gulps.

“Don’t worry, it’s not yours!”

That’s not what you’re worried about, but whatever… point is, this place might not be safe for much longer if we’re all here…

“Not much we can do about it, Rook,” Shrugs your guide, “Crummy luck aside, you don’t travel during a storm here… no ifs, ands, or buts about it!” Taking another sip, the Skog’s eyes light up with an idea! “We can always take an early rest, though! Doze off until the storm ends!”

“Orrrr we just wait down here!” Counters TT with a toothy grin! “Don’t have to pay for a room if you’re not sleeping!”

Didn’t she just mention that money’s not a problem for her?

“Y-yea, well…” She stammers, “N-nothing wrong with being frugal! Besides, stay alert, stay alive, right?”

Not eager to make any more decisions, you instead decide to take a sip of your food… and it’s everything you expected it to be… and then some! Mushrooms, gravy, some kind of potato-like stuff soaked in spices that make your tongue wag… and the MEAT! The waitress was right… you don’t wanna ask what’s in this–it’d ruin the mystery!

“So?” Asks Volka as she laps up the remnants of another tankard, “What’cha thinking, Rook?”

What do?
>Let’s call it a night. A room will be safer than here!
>Let’s just stay here!
>Nope, we’re going out in the storm, damn it!
>Write-In!

Last update of the evening, by the way! Seeya at the next one!
>>
>>6102267
>Let’s call it a night. A room will be safer than here!
If TT wants, she can hang with us and we can tell her more stories about human stuff.
>>
>>6102267
>>Let’s call it a night. A room will be safer than here!
Least Dangerous option
>>
>>6102267
>Let’s call it a night. A room will be safer than here!
>>
>>6102267
>Let’s call it a night. A room will be safer than here!
How poor can we be?
>>
>>6102267
>Let’s call it a night. A room will be safer than here!

>and you’ve lost who knows what…
Well, our memories for starters!
>>
>>6102276
>>6102279
>>6102310
>>6102358
>>6102513
>ROOM, PLEASE!
Writing!

>>6102358
Very
>>
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You're not exactly exhausted at the moment, but you'd be lying if you said the events since your arrival haven't worn you out a bit. Volka's got a point, you nod as if you know what you're talking about, storms are bad news! Let's turn in for the night!

"How forward~" Snickers TT as she shoots you a smug glance, "We've only just met and we're already sharing a room, ey?"

Uh, no, you frown, she's getting her own room! Volka too.

"'S for the best!" The Skog shrugs with a 'what-can-ya-do' grin! "I roll around in my sleep, so..."

"But isn't' it safer if we stick together?" Counters TT with a nervous smile!

You answer the Spinner with a long, hard stare. She can't afford it, can she?

"Can YOU?!"

That's uh... well if Volka's reaction to her purse was any indication, you stammer as your guide silently, but frantically shakes her head 'no', look, let's just see what the rate is and we'll go from there, okay?

"Swell idea, Rook!" Volka chirps as she lets another empty mug tumble to the floor, "How pricey could it be?"

"'undred bells." Grunts the Innkeeper as he practices the time-honored skill of cleaning a mug with a rag even in the dark, "No pets."

Sorry, T.

"HEY!" Snarls the Spinner as she kicks your shin, "Do I LOOK like a pet owner? Do you know how much they cost!?"

You don't want to explain your crappy joke, so you just drop it. 'Undred bells, you remark with a low whistle, bit steep, huh?

"Welcome ta' sleep outside." The host offers with an unsympathetic shrug. "Rooms'r behind the bar--no one gets in wivout me knowin' 'bout it. Safest beds in miles. Clean, ta boot."

"Sounds great!" Chirps Volka as she removes her purse from one of her pouches, "Well I've got TEN BELLS so we're definitely off to a good staaartt..."

We’re not, but you can’t be mad at Volka’s boundless enthusiasm..

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6102799
According to the Pastebin, you've also got about some scratch currently sequestered away in your boxers... it's a wonder they haven't jingled at all, but maybe that's a testament to the fabric? Stealthily retrieving them and giving them a jingle, you inform the Innkeeper that you too have TEN BELLS!

“Aye, I ‘eard em’ jingle.”

Huh. Well uh… that’s twenty…

Yep, you repeat, twenty…

You and Volka stand at the counter for a few minutes like lost children before you clear your throat.

“Getting sick, Anton?” Asks T with a hint of concern in her squeaky voice, “Y’know, some potionsellers will pay people to test cures for them! Easy spending bells!”

“Yea, father stopped doing that after the last ‘test subject’...” Shudders Volka. “Poor bastard…”

Okay, you groan, you’re not sure how they do it here, but where you come from it’s customary to help pay for a room you’re all gonna use!

“Wow, you’ll have to tell me more about your world later! Very fascinating~” Tzah-Tzie remarks as she taps away at her mysterious tablet. “Paying… for… rooms…”

… How much money does she have? The tablet tumbles to the floor as the Spinner tenses up.

“Tons-”

At this moment.

“Well, erm…” She stammers as she flicks a bangle on one of her fuzzy (you assume) ears, “Look, Ant, none of it is liquid at the moment, buuuut-”

Super. Can we put the room on our tab? The Innkeeper pauses his cleaning for a moment to consider it.

“Not usually.” You treat yourself to a sneaky fist-pump… that means there’s still a chance!

What do?
>Ask if you can do anything to convince him!
>INTIMIDATE!
>TT, play a song or something! Do your job!
>Volka, maybe you can help this guy out in the kitchen?
>Anywhere we can stay with 20 Bells?
>Forget it…
>Write-In!
>>
>>6102800
>INTIMIDATE!
>>
>>6102800
>Wager a BET for a room. Twenty bells if he wins, a free room if you win. A FAIR game of COMPLETELY RANDOM CHANCE.
>>
>>6102807
>>Wager a BET for a room. Twenty bells if he wins, a free room if you win. A FAIR game of COMPLETELY RANDOM CHANCE.
>>
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>>6102799
How can we tell Volka's shaking her head if it's silent? :P

>>6102800
>Ask if you can do anything to convince him!
We're HEROES, right Volka?? maybe he needs a quest attended to?

Also, pic related is unavoidably my mental image of TT.
>>
>>6102800
>>6102817
Supporting. If that fails then I’d say
>Volka, would it be considered very LAMPLIGHTER if we went into the storm, rescued people, and asked for money? Just checking.

>Captcha: JAAMM0
Sure, we could make some jam too.
>>
>>6102817
>Her tusk was totally scraping some of the wall!

>>6102817
She's definitely smug and POOR-looking enough!

>>6102824
You psycho you're gonna make her run into the storm like a loose dog

Gonna give it a little longer since we seem to have a tie... might update tonight, maybe tomorrow! We shall see!
>>
>>6102831
I mean, it sounds like we may not have a choice if we can’t pay…

Also, deciding this by roll would be appropriate for the WAGER crowd.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>6102853
So True, Questie.

>>6102804
>INTIMIDATE!

>>6102807
>>6102816
>PLACE YER BETS

>>6102817
>>6102824
>ANYTHING I CAN DO TO CONVINCE YOU?

Gonna roll and write whatever wins!
1 = WAGER
2 = QUESTS?
>>
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A cocky grin forms on your face as you lean across the counter and into the Innkeeper’s face!

No wait, he’s tall. You’re uh, you’re hoping it’s his belly.

Well, you begin with a Cheshire grin, how about an unusual arrangement, you ask?

“... Nah. Y’ain’t pretty enough.”

You weren’t talking about that! Why do people always assume… no, you continue with barely contained exasperation in your tone, you wanna make a WAGER! A GAMBLE!

The brash bartender responds with a noncommittal grunt. That ain’t a no!

“Whas’ yer’ offer?”

Simple, you smirk as you rest your chin on your palm, if we win we get to stay for FREE! And if we lose you win TWENTY BELLS!

ANDHE’LLWORKINTHEKITCHENFORTHERESTOFTHEDAY!” Snaps TT with a triumphant laugh! Yea, that’s riWHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIIIIING?!

“S-SORRY!” Sputters the fuzzy fiend as you grab her tiny shoulders and shake her around like a chew toy, “I G-GET EXC-CITED WHEN TH-THERE’S G-GAMBLING-”

“No harm no foul, Rook!” Laughs Volka, “He didn’t accept it y-”

“I accept.”

An uncomfortable, half-laugh, half-squeak escapes Tzah-Tzie’s big mouth as you fantasize turning her into a fur rug. “N-no sweat, Ant… y-you’ve got this in the bag!”

“Yea, just gotta make it a fair contest!” Smirks your loud, but far more reliable comrade with a wink! “So what’s it gonna be, huh? Arm Wrestling? Drinking? Drinking while Arm Wrestling? Wrestling?”

Your eyes bug out as her question makes it to your braincase. Shoot! You didn’t think this far ahead!

“I got an idea.” Rumbles the Innkeeper as he continues polishing the glass. “If’n yer’ unsure, that is.”

No no, you stammer, you’ve got a GREAT idea!

Crap…

What is it?
>Riddles!
>Guess Which Hand!
>Rap Battle!
>Toss the TT!
>Drinking Contest!
>Handstand!
>Write-In!
>Okay, let’s hear the Innkeeper’s idea…

Last update of the night, by the way! Seeya in the next one, folks, and thanks for playing!
>>
>>6102920
>Guess Which Hand!
>>
>>6102920
>Guess Which Hand!
Pure, unadulterated luck. Which should work in our favor with THREE bad luck aura's on this guy!
>>
>>6102920
>Riddles!
>>
>>6102920
>Guess Which Hand!
>>
>>6102920
>Riddles!
>>
>>6102920
>Guess Which Hand!
>>
>>6102920
>Guess Which Hand!
Honestly, our bad-luck aura would could backfire since WINNING is HIS worst option. Having us work in the kitchen would cause more chaos than going to bed.

But we can still try to stack it in our favor. We have the Ring of Echoes to increase our hearing. If it’s too loud here then we can try to tear a small piece off our robe (or have Volka do it for us) to make shitty ear plugs. I assume the ring would be better than the ear plugs so we’d still be able to hear what he’s doing better.

So would something like “throw a bell in the air, catch it, and guess which hand it’s in afterward” work for this? We could try and listen for the sound of a moving limb to snatch it if he does it. We just need to confirm he had hands first. And that we can account for all of them.
>>
>>6103214
well, if its our hands, we could just cheat. no one would ever see it coming.
then it becomes a slight of hands roll instead of a coin flip.
that said, if he finds out, we are probably getting scalped.
>>
>>6102925
>>6102932
>>6103027
>>6103104
>>6103214
>GUESS WHICH HAND!

>>6102933
>>6103049
>RIDDLES!

Writing! Happy Friday, Dark Dorks!
>>
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It’s SIMPLE, you reply, eyes gleaming with confidence as you twirl a bell on your finger, he’s-whoops

“Don’t let it roll into a crack.” Murmurs TT helpfully. Yea, thanks!

Like you were…nrf.. saying, you say as you hop back to your feet with the bell in hand, he’s gonna play a little game: FIND THE BELL!

“‘S right there.” Drones the Innkeeper as you feet a claw beefier than you poke the bell! Not YET, you groan, you’ve gotta move it around a little first! Hasn’t he ever played this before?

“Just now,” He grunts with the faintest hint of a smile in his tone, “An’ I won.”

Just… just WAIT a sec, okay?! You’re gonna fling the bell around first… then he has to choose which hand it’s in–the left…

You pause to snap the fingers on your left hand.

Or the RIGHT!

“Ain’t no wager,” The Innkeep grumbles as you snap your other hand, “I ken ‘ear it just fine.”

“Yea… I know I’ve been established as the lovable airhead of the group,” Agrees Volka with a bit of concern in her voice, “But even I think this is gonna be too easy, Rook.”

“It IS a pretty dumb idea, yea, but maybe he’s got a trick up his sleeve!” TT suggests with a glimmer in her eyes!

“If you’ve got any tricks up yer’ sleeve I’ll rip yer’ arms off an’ eat ‘em.”

Wow, you scoff with mock offense, Volka wasn’t kidding, Skogs CAN get a little nasty!

“I’m a Moleg, pintsize.”

“Yea, didn’t you see how his tusks arc downwards? And the musk?” Asks your bodyguard as she sends a hard glare your way! “C’mon, Anton…”

“I’ll be sure to omit this from the final ballad…” Adds T with a scornful ‘tch’!

You didn’t know what a Moleg was until TWO seconds ago, you sputter! Can we just DO this already!? You have a plan!

“Do it.” Growls the Innkeep as he crosses his undoubtedly MASSIVE arms across his broad, unseen chest, “I gots orders ta’ fill.”

Okay, you chuckle, just keep those ears peeled! And I mean REAAAAALLLY peeled!

The trap is set, now you just need to hope he stumbles into it…

>Roll me 1d100+2 (+3 Loud Bar, +2 THE TRICK, +5 BAD LUCK TRIPLE TROUBLE, -3 Innkeeper Senses, -5 Bell) to see if he picks right! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 88 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>6103544
Rollan
>>
Rolled 41 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>6103544
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>6103544
>>
>>6103552
>>6103569
>>6103645
>HIGHEST ROLL: 94!
Writing!!
>>
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Okay, you begin as you take a steadying breath, don’t lose track of it now…

A whole minute goes by in relative silence as you work your magic–the bell shrouded in complete and utter silence as the Innkeeper and your pals listen as hard as they can!

Exhaling softly, you give your opponent a wry grin. So, you ask in a voice sweeter and smoother than honey, Left?

You snap your finger.

Or Right?

Snap snap.

“Easy,” Grunts the moody Moleg as he continues to polish his glass, “‘S the RIGHT. You didn’t move it none.”

Hmmm, you ponder with mock concern, well if that’s his final answer…

“I’da heard it if ya did,” He repeats, but his glowing eyes betray a sprinkle of uncertainty… “Nah… wait a minute…”

Oh? You ask as you cock your head to the side, Having second thoughts?

“NNgh… It’s the LEFT!” He groans as he jabs a massive claw in the direction your snap came from, “I dunno how, but…”

“You’d have to be either really fast or really skilled to pull it off…” Mutters TT as she too leans in to examine the results, “Or both… Can… do humans do that kind of thing?”

“I’d believe it!” Laughs Volka with a shake of her head, “Ant’s full of surprises, y’know!”

That’s right, you nod with an even bigger, SMUGGER grin, so what’s your answer, Barman? Right? Or Left?

“Yer’ trickin’ me…” He snarls, barely resisting the urge to grab your hands and peel them open, “R-Right! No… Left! Urrgh… Wait…”

GO AHEAD! MR. BARKEEP!

You can practically hear the veins throbbing in the Moleg’s temples as he struggles to stick with an answer! The glass trembling in his claws, he lets out one last snarl that causes the whole Inn to go quiet!

LEFT!” Roars the brusque barman, “FINAL ANSWER!

The whole establishment goes silent as his choice rings throughout the tavern! Snapping your fingers on your left hand, you invite him to check…

And grin as his eyes go wide in shock!

“Wh… HUUUUUUUHHHHHH!?!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6103951
“Buh…buh…” Babbles the Innkeep as the glass falls from his hands and crashes on the floor, “Buh…”

‘Buh’-t how, he asks? You ask, making a flourish with your right hand and prompting a faint ‘jing jang’ from inside, it’s simple, really!

“Well you’ll have to explain it, cuz’ I have no clue how it works either!” Remarks Volka as she stoops down to your height to poke at your hand. “What’s the secret, huuuh?”

There are no smoke or mirrors here, you begin, nor do you have any special powers to speak of!

“That’s fine, we’ll edit them into the final draft!” Chirps TT as she taps away at her mysterious tablet.

“Then… then what was it?” Asks the Innkeeper with wide, still confused eyes! “How?”

Easy, you grin, you just planted a little seed in his head! The seed… of DOUBT!

Everyone goes quiet for a moment as what you say settles in. “You just made me second-guess myself?” Asks the barman. “Thas’ it?”

Precisely, you nod, wanna hear how I did it?

“Nope.”
“Nah.”
“No thanks!”
“Nae.”

Salty Suutz, you sputter as you whip around to face the newcomer, how long have you been there?

“Not ter long, nae…” He replies in a voice crispier than bacon, “We be wantin’ ter’ order, but the Innkeep be a tad busy, he be…”

Well shoot, you grumble, if no one wants to hear about the psychology of the whole thi-

Your answer comes in the form of a key that has no business being as massive as it is crashing into your face! OW!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6103954
“Las’ door on the left, bes’ room in da’ house.” The Innkeeper leans in close–so close you can feel his hot breath on your face–”An’ keep the noise down.”

“Thanks much!” Volka smiles as she gives your shoulder an ‘atta boy’ pat, “We will!”
“Wait,” Frowns TT as she skitters after you, “No one wants to go another round? I bet we could make some REAL wagers if-”

Ignoring the Spinner, you make you follow Volka as she guides you all down the hall to your room. It takes a moment to get the key and the door to operate, but eventually you’re let in with a triumphant creak!

The air inside the room is musty–no surprise given you can’t see or hear the telltale signs of a window anywhere. It takes you a moment to stumble around the room, but after a few mishaps and pratfalls with your pals and the sparse furniture in the room (an UNEVEN TABLE and a SINGLE WOOD CHAIR) you manage to find the BED!

STUBBED TOE COUNTER: 8

Giving the mattress a few pats, you nod with approval at how comfy it is! Right, you announce, we’re gonna have to decide who gets the bed-

“Don’t worry, Rook–I can sleep anywhere!” Volka announces as she collapses onto the floor with a crunch of wood! “Anyone wants to break in they’ll have ta’ go through ole’ Volka!”

Turning to face TT, however, you find the Durher batting her eyelashes at you like a Southern Belle in a cartoon. T…

“I have a condition, y’know!” She begins as she stealthily sits on the bed, “If I don’t sleep on a proper mattress my blood won’t circulate just right! You don’t want a girl like me to age prematurely, do you, Ant? Hmm?”

She’s not gonna age at all if she keeps being this annoying… what do?

>Claim the bed! You earned it!
>You can share. Just nudge her over to the foot of the bed.
>Volka can have the bed. Try and deal with her tossing and turning, T!
>T can snuggle with Volka on the ground!
>Just stay up for now–maybe T will doze off!
>T can take the table or chair!
>You’ll take the table or chair, screw it..
>Write-In!
>>
>>6103956
>You’ll take the table or chair, screw it..
Table. Flip the robe around and it should make a good blanket, and we can nestle the hood around our neck to form a pillow. It is pretty plush, after all.

We’ll need them to be better-rested than us tomorrow. We’re the stranger here, we need effective guards.

Or we could just be selfless. Up to anons!
>>
>>6103956
>Snuggle with Volka. She seems soft.
>>
>>6103972
Seconding this one if only so TT gets jealous and cedes us the bed just to avoid it
>>
>>6103956
>Snuggle with Volka. She seems soft.
Safety before comfort
>>
>>6103956
>>6103972
Supporting this. It’s a win all round.
>>
>>6103956
Alright, I’ll switch to >>6103972 as well. I very much doubt she’s soft, but the PLUSH ROBE should make it easier to lean against her and it probably is the safest place we can sleep.

She might roll over on us, but we’re tough enough to deal with that until she wakes up and apologizes. Hopefully.
>>
>>6103972
>>6103977
>>6103982
>>6104017
>>6104030
>SNUGGLE
Holy crap the hivemind is real. Writing! Had a few errands to run today.
>>
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The bed’s comfy, but not ‘three more updates of arguing’ comfy… besides, after today’s events you could probably sleep standing up! Wouldn’t be the first time!

You know what, you sigh as you rise from the bed, she can take the bed!

“Look, I’m painfully aware I don’t need beauty sleep, bu-wait, huh?” The Spinner pauses mid-excuse to eye you warily. “... r-really?”

Yea, you nod with a smile, it’s all hers! Consider it an investment! TT’s eyes widen as your words make it across the dizzying expanse between her ear and her brain. “Wow! Thanks, Anton! Y’know, you humans are A-OK in my book! And they’ll be more than okay in my book!”

Circling around a few times before curling up on the bed, the spritely Spinner dutifully taps away at her tablet for about a minute before she glances your way again. “Need something, or just admiring the view?”

No, you frown, just uh… you’re welcome.

“I am! That’s why I’m lying here!” She chirps with a wink! “Sweet dreaaaams~” This girl… Stretching your sore muscles, you weigh your remaining options and sigh–you’re not exactly jazzed about the furniture, but… wait a sec…

Volka, you begin, weird question, but-

Your intro is cut short by a bestial ROAR that sends your hair on end! A small ‘thump’ from the bed tells you TT must’ve been startled too! Bracing yourself for battle, you relax when the origin of the sound inhales a healthy gulp of air…

Ah. She’s already out… guess she really can sleep anywhere. Welp, you shrug, it was a dumb idea anyways. Alright, Mr. TablAAAAUUUGH!

While TT tumbles off the bed a second time, YOU tumble into something muscular, scaly, and… surprisingly soft? By the time you realize Volka’s rolled into you it’s too late: like a toddler snuggling a teddy bear, the Skog’s beefy arms ensnare you and pull you into the girl’s warm embrace! Panic settles in as you realize your situation, but as you struggle to break free of her vise-grip you notice something…

She stopped snoring!

Feeling her muscular tail wrap around the two of you, you abandon any escape plans you were scheming up and decide to get comfy instead. She’s no mattress of course, but Volka’s big enough to act as one! With the events of the last few… however many hours it’s been weighing your eyelids down, it doesn’t take long to drift into an uneasy sleep…

Despite everything, you dream…

What do you dream about?
>Your Past…
>Your Present…
>Your Future…
>>
>>6104176
>Your Past…
>>
>>6104176
>Your past
If we see the future it will be set in stone
>>
>>6104184
>>6104197
>YOUR PAAASSTTTT
Writing!
>>
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Drifting lazily away down the river of dreams, you trade the warmth of Volka’s embrace and the stench of mildew and stale booze for a more familiar sensation…

The distant smell of burnt rubber and gasoline… The tepid blanket of humidity smothering you in your sweat-drenched sheets… The chirping of crickets… the whir of the desk fan you picked up at the DOLLARMART as it fights a losing battle…

You’re home.

-llo?

You jolt at the sudden voice and send the phone in your hand tumbling flat onto your sweat-caked forehead! Y-yea, you stammer, voice weak and scratchy from the sweltering heat, you’re here…

Thought I lost ya.” The female voice crackles. “Barely get any reception here…” You glance at the caller ID–’DYLAN’. “How’s it going?

Errr, it’s going… tired, you reply, not daring to glance at the time.

Yea, that’s… oh. OH!” She replies as recognition swiftly creeps into her voice, “I’m SO sorry, Ant! I keep forgetting about the damn time zones and-

It’s fine, you smile, you were already awake! And, you add as you wipe some sweat onto the pillow you aren’t using, it’s been a while since you caught up…

Yea…” Dylan replies in a tone that could be interpreted in a number of ways, “It’s been busy, y’know?

Sure, you nod, not truly knowing. Never a dull moment at her job, huh?

Ha ha, no siree..” She laughs, before her tone becomes a bit more excited, “But forget that… how was graduation?

It… was graduation, you shrug! They handed you a degree and everything!

Yea, that sounds about right… I uh… dad told me about the college search…

You don’t really want to talk about that, you sigh, wincing as a spike of pain shoots through your temples.

Just think of it as a… as a gap year! Travel a bit! Find yourself!

Yea, the uh… the travel fund’s a little low, you reply as the sound of distant gunshots trickle in through your open window, you’re a RENTER now, so..

You moved out? Why?” Oh boy, here we go… You just couldn’t stick around mom and dad anymore, you groan, running your sweaty hand over your sweatier face. She knows how it is.

Why do you think I work out here?” Dylan retorts with a hollow laugh. “Where are you renting, then, Mr. Moneybags?

Bishop’s got an apartment, you explain, and his last roommate got arrested, so… here you are.

Well if you ever need a gig…

You’re not much of a scientist, you reply with a derisive snort, and besides, you have a few opportunities lined up!

Your loss… they’ll hire anyone here. Lots of boxes that need moving around…

Yea, well…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6104316
As you continue to speak into the phone, you find yourself having trouble hearing. Tugging your earlobes, you’re rewarded by a low whine that only increases by the second! Feeling your vision swim and your head throb, your mind is yanked clear of your dream as an unfamiliar voice sneaks into your ear:

G E T U P

As the foreign words pick at your brain, your eyes open once more into an inky, all-enveloping darkness..

You’re back in your room at the inn. Volka and T continue to doze, the former still wrapped around you like a boa constrictor, as a cool breeze rolls across your face from the direction of the door…

>Roll 1d100-4(-5 Sleeping, -4 Dark, +5 Volka protecc) for reasons! Best of 3!

Last update of the night, by the way! Sunday might get busy so expect few updates. Have a good weekend and thanks for playing!
>>
Rolled 55 - 4 (1d100 - 4)

>>6104317
Roll
>>
Rolled 54 + 4 (1d100 + 4)

>>6104317
You forgot the -10 for our entire body being stuck in her massive bust.
>>
Rolled 42 - 4 (1d100 - 4)

>>6104317
Slavers?
>>
>>6104356
Just so know for the future rolling negative modifiers means you have to type +- or it defaults to +, unnecessarily complicated I know
>>
>>6104356
It was negated by the +10 to anyone being able to hit us, on account of being surrounded by Volkams bust.

Hopefully a 51 is good enough to notice we shouldn’t be feeling a cool breeze from the door if it’s shut properly, and it WAS shut properly.
>>
>>6104326
>>6104356
>>6104360
>HIGHEST ROLL:
Wait a second...

>>6104356
Oh fuck you're right

>>6104326
>>6104356
>>6104360
>HIGHEST R
Wait a second...

>>6104461
Oh fuck you're right

>>6104326
>>6104356
>>6104360
>HIGHEST ROLL: 51!
Just skidded by! Writing! Still got a lot of shit happening today so expect sporadic updates!
>>
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The cool breeze is a welcome reprieve from how stuffy the room is. Coupled with how warm Volka is, especially with her hugging you close like a human teddy bear, it takes you a moment to push past the pleasantness and realize what’s wrong with the proverbial ‘picture’…

THE DOOR!

Powerless against the might of Volka’s arms, you watch wide-eyed as you sense something standing in front of you…

You open your mouth to yell a warning, but in your haste and genuine terror you instead let loose the loudest, and girliest, scream you’ve ever mustered! The figure freezes, clearly not expecting your reaction, and as you hear the faint sound of their hand rummaging around in their pockets, your salvation comes in the form of a dull ‘WHUMP!’ smacking against your guest’s unseen face!

“CAN’T A GIRL GET A LITTLE SLEEP AROUND HERE!?” Snarls TT as she jolts upright in the bed with her eyes covered by what smell like fruit slices, “BED’S MINE! NO TAKESIE-BACKSIES!”

T, you holler, we’re not alone! As you deliver the warning, the figure recovers from the pillow pelting and lets out a series of sharp clicks that carry out the door and down the hall! The sound of crashing glass and commotion travels back, arriving in the room just as you hear a blade being drawn from a scabbard…

Ducking another pillow from the Durher, a shift in the air tells you that the intruder is lunging! Stuck in Volka’s death grip, all you can do is make a stupid face and wait to be perforated…

THWACK!

You wait impatiently for the light you’re supposed to go into, your life flashing before your eyes… but all you get is the same darkness… the same musty air. By the time you realize you aren’t dead, your would-be assassin has stumbled backwards, his steps uneven and clumsy… meanwhile a familiar scaly tail wraps itself back around you and its owner… Rising from the ground with slow, steady breaths through her mouth, your bodyguard slowly staggers towards your assailant with a zombielike gait…

“Hey Tusks! Wake up!” Snarls T as she leaps out of bed!

I think she’s sleepwalking, you fire back! Speaking of fire, as the Skog lurches forward to deliver more pain unto the assassin, the intruder in question rummages through their pockets again, this time pulling out something that… sloshes?

Chucking it into the doorway, your face is met with a rush of heat as whatever they threw bursts into an explosion of crackling flames! Ever the opportunist, T races to be the first out of the room, but pauses at the door with a yelp!

“Ant, we’re TRAPPED!”

Yea, you frown, you GATHERED!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6104764
Hearing similar crashes around the rest of the tavern joined by the screams of other patrons, you try your best to squirm out of Volka’s grasp, but it’s no use…

As the air fills with a layer of smoke and the smell of burning flesh and wood, you feel a familiar sting in your eyes… glancing down at your sides, you see a familiar RED outline around your hands!

“Ant,” Remarks the Spinner as she stares wide-eyed at your palms, “Are you… okay?”

Never better, you snap, but that’ll change if we don’t get outta here!

What do?
>Keep trying to wake Volka!
>Find something to smother the flames!
>No time to waste! Try to jump the fire!
>See if T can find another way out of the room!
>Shout for help! Maybe someone can assist!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6104765
>Find something to smother the flames!
>See if T can find another way out of the room!
Divide and conquer. We'll try to put it out while she tries to find US an out, dig?
>>
>>6104765
>Find something to smother the flames!
If there’s still a storm outside then punching a hole in a wall or ceiling would do it. We’d just need to get Volka to ram into the former.

Although we can handle cire with our hands. If we do the flame trick, can we pick up the fire and either chuck it out the door or extinguish it? Are our hands immune to fire when the flames are ready, even if the rest of us isn’t?
>>
>>6104769
>>6104784
>Find something to smother the flames!

>>6104769
>Get T to do some damn work for once!

It's late and tomorrow's a work day, folks... gonna pick this one up later on Monday! Until then, though...

>Roll me 2d100 (-4 Dark, -5 Trapped by Volka, -3 Smoky room, +7 Durher Senses) to cooperate with Tzah-Tzie and get outta here! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 74, 18 - 5 = 87 (2d100 - 5)

>>6105015
Isn’t it minus 5 in total? Rolling for that.
>>
Rolled 44, 73 - 5 = 112 (2d100 - 5)

>>6105015
>>
Rolled 53 - 5 (1d100 - 5)

>>6105015
>>
Rolled 15 - 5 (1d100 - 5)

>>6105054
Woops only rolled one di so here is the second
>>
>>6105039
Yea, sorry man... I was goin hard on the Halloween Wine last night. I was getting mad spooky and I kinda rushed through the update. I'm good now, though--honest! And yea, there were two rolls--one for Anton and one for TT.

>>6105039
>>6105041
>>6105054
>>6105055
>HIGHEST ROLLS: 69, 68!
Writing!
>>
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You’re a little preoccupied, but you can still delegate! T, you command as the flames crackle louder by the second, find us a way outta here! One that isn’t burning!

“With pleasure!” She fires back as she gets to work slinking around the room like a ferret! As the Spinner scurries off, however, she knocks something over next to the bed… something that pours onto the floor like sand! Sensing a mistake, Tzah-Tzie’s eyes go wide as she continues to make a show of looking around!

Tzah, you frown as Volka continues to wander around the room with you in her clutches like a motherly zombie, what the hell was that?

“Errr, j-just cosmetics!” The Durher sputters as she darts around the room! “Say, this wall feels pretty thin, Ant! Y’know, if you could get sleeping beauty to knock it down-”

Yea okay, but seriously, you interrupt with a frown, what did she knock over? Does she just bring sand with her on journeys?

“I… yes!” She nods with an incredulous look in her eye, “I… I like sand, okay? It’s a good exfoliant! Now are you gonna wake her up or what!? I don’t wanna burn because you were being a perv, y’know!”

You’re not being a perv, you groan, you just… okay touche, but seriously-

“AAAAUUUUUUGHH, OKAY! YOU WIN!” Roars the Durher as she tugs at her unseen ears, “It’s SALT, okay!? A big bag of SALT! Happy!?”

Y-yea, you nod, that could probably smother the fire! The anger in T’s face quickly cools down as she cocks her head to the side. “... Oh yea… Hey, I guess stealing it from the back of the bar was a good idea, huh!”

You’re eager to get out of here, you sigh, but you don’t think you’ll be able to focus on anything else until she answers this question: WHY did she steal the Inn’s salt?

“Well, y’know…” The Durher mutters as she sheepishly twiddles her claws, “S-salt is a nice condiment to have when you can’t afford fancy stuff… and if you put it in boiling water it’s kinda like a soup-”

You’re suddenly not convinced this girl is a renowned Bard or Spinner or whatever. You weren’t convinced before, but you definitely aren’t now. This girl has clearly never had money in her entire life. In any case, you shrug, she can use that to douse the flames! Go for it!

“Don’t look at me!” T sputters indignantly, “Do you see these claws!? Do they look like they can lug a few bags of salt around!?”

You respond with a blink. How the hell did she get them in here in the first place? And wait, there’s MORE!?

“I dragged ‘em… and um… maybe took a few trips…”

Maybe it’s for the best that this place burns down.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6105412
In any case, T doesn’t seem keen on pouring the salt-

“I gotta carry my instruments, okay!? I don’t see you offering to help! Not very chivalrous, y’know!”

… which means you need to figure out how to deal with this before those assassins remember to come kill you.

What do?
>Break free of Volka!
>Wake Volka Up!
>Pressure T into actually doing something!
>Have Volka smash through the weak wall!
>Have T smash through the weak wall!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6105415
>Wake Volka Up!
She can haul sand. it's important we put this out for the sake of everyone else in the building. Invisible fire is deadly shit, indeed.
>>
>>6105415
>Pressure T into actually doing something!
She has her instruments then, right? What’s the most aggravating sound she can make with them? Do it in front of the wall so we can
>Have Volka smash through the weak wall!
Even if she doesn’t wake up, we can hope she’ll charge the wall anyway out of reflex. We’ll shout when she starts moving so TT can get out of the way.

I’d offer to do the salt thing instead but we’re still a little bound up here.
>>
>>6105421
I think we can merge our votes. If Volka wakes up we can have her put out the fire, and if she stays asleep and charges TT somehow then she takes out the wall. We can shout/struggle for our own part to wake her up. It’s a win-mostly win scenario!

Sound like a plan?
>>
>>6105427
I can get behind this.

>>6105415
>>
>>6105427
>>6105428
>>6105422
>>6105421
>WAKE THE BEAST WITH YOUR GOLDEN LUTE!
>Break the wall or haul the salt like DO something Volka jesus
Writing!
>>
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Whatever your master plan is, it’ll only work if you can get your walking, scaly mattress to wake up!

“Yea, what’s your problem anyways?” Asks T with growing concern as she hefts what sounds like a whole orchestra’s-worth of equipment onto her back, “I bit my lip for the last few posts, Ant, but you’re starting to seem kinda attached to this ‘being carried around’ schtick. Not a good look for the wider audience.”

You can’t help it, you moan, every time you try to wriggle free Volka just squeezes you TIGHTER! You… you might die here, T…

“Hm! Well y’know, death by hubris IS pretty well-received in art these days… people love a hero hoisted on his own petard!”

As you brainstorm ideas on how to get Volka to crush the Durher, your master plan is body slammed with another, far more useful one!

Tzah-Tzie, you exclaim, play something! Play something loud!

The girl stares at you as if you just asked her to eat a plate of bugs. “Not really a good time, Ant–I don’t play for free and it sounds like our potential listeners are getting butchered out there.”

THAT’S her issue!? What about the fire!?

“Oh yea, huh.”

Look, you hiss, just play something loud and obnoxious! You’ve got to wake Volka up!

“Hmmm…” The Spinner remarks as she begins to dig through her collection, “I don’t know if I’m capable of ‘obnoxious’-”

Sure...

“But I can do ‘loud’!” Clearing her throat politely, the Spinner tunes the strings of something between a harp and a lute…

OHDEARGODIT’SLIKEACATBEINGPUTHROUGHACHEESEGRATERAAAUGH

Nails on the chalkboard could learn a thing or two as TT scrapes away at her instrument like a madwoman! To her credit it takes a moment for the Skog to rouse from her slumber, but once she does she’s peppy as ever!

“Aaahhh… Good Morning, everyone! Someone cooking something?” Volka mumbles as she rubs the sleep from one of her eyes and stretches her tail like a cat, “Smells great! Oh, hey there, Rook! D’aww, didja’ get cold, little guy?”

No time for that, you mutter as the Skog gives you a playful noogie, there’s assassins trying to kill you… and everyone else, possibly!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6105462
Gently placing you on the floor, the amazon draws her blade and strikes an unseen pose with a clank of her armor! “Sounds like a job for THE LAMPLIGHTERS! Point me attem!”

Hold on, you interrupt as TT puts her instrument away,there’s a few bags of SALT over there she can use t-

“Good idea, Rook! Let’s begin the AsSALT! Haha!”

Sheathing her sword in favor of the salt, Volka bursts through the wall with sacks in hand and immediately clobbers an unlucky assassin that happened to be laying an ambush! As they crumble to the ground with a weak groan, some of the salt flies onto the flames enveloping the door and extinguishes them with a muted ‘hiss’!

“Can’t fault her enthusiasm!” Remarks TT as you hear her slip a knife from an unseen sheath. “After you, hero~”

Gee, thanks. Hands still burning with the energy you had earlier, you give Volka some space and instead rush over to the downed Assassin! Okay, you begin in the most threatening voice you can muster after inhaling so much smoke, what’s the deal, huh!? Why did he try to grab you!?

The assassin merely croaks out a weak chuckle as you feel his body heat up! H-hey, you stammer, don’t get too excited-

To your horror (and relief), the would-be abductor bursts into flames that nearly singe your fingers off! Taken off-guard by the sudden ferocity of the blaze, you nearly trip over TT as the two of you listen in horror!

“Wh-what happened!?” She sputters as she hides behind you, “Did he drop another potion!?”

You’re not so sure… daring to poke at the flames, your eyes widen as you feel nothing but ash where the assassin’s body was lying! What in the…

Before you can ponder any further, the sound of a struggle in the tavern brings you back to the present! Judging by the manic laughter and the crashing glassware you get the feeling Volka’s doing fine, but the sound of crackling flames and crunching wood all over the Inn don’t fill you with confidence…

“Welp, go do your hero thing, Ant!” Chirps TT as you hear her stuff a few plates into her bag, “I’ll be taking notes outside-

No she won’t, you retort as you grab the pint-sized pilferer by the scruff of her fuzzy neck, she’s helping you!

“D-do what!?”

Good question!
>Help Volka take out the remaining Assassins!
>Grab some salt piles and put out the fires!
>Check for survivors!
>Yea wait… Let’s just leave!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6105463
>Grab some salt piles and put out the fires!
>>
>>6105463
>Check for survivors!
TT didn’t sound like a huge help with salt, and if the fire’s spread (sounds like it has) then I dunno if we can put it all out.

Better to grab people and GTFO. If TT needs convincing then tell her legends aren’t any good if no one is around to listen to them so get to saving the audience!

I hope Salty is safe.
>>
>>6105463
>Grab some salt piles and put out the fires!
>>
>>6105467
>>6105528
>Get Salty!

>>6105485
>Check for Survivors!

Gonna call it here tonight, but let's get a couple rolls to see how well the firefighting goes!

>Roll me 1d100-5 (+3 Lotsa Salt, +2 Noisy flames -4 Dark, -4 ASSASSINOS, -2 Volka running around) to see how it works out! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 70 - 5 (1d100 - 5)

>>6105535
>>
Rolled 38 - 5 (1d100 - 5)

>>6105535
>>
Rolled 43 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>6105535
>>
>>6105561
>>6105565
>>6105591
>HIGHEST ROLL: 65!
Writing! Sorry, shit got really busy today. Let's see what we can cook up.
>>
>>6105886
Probably quite a bit given the nearby kitchen with ingredients and all the fire.
>>
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Put out the fires, of course! You can’t let the Inn burn down! The Spinner picks you apart with her eyes with a quizzical look on her face.

“... why, though?”

Because it’s the heroic thing to do, okay!? Think of all the cred you’ll get when you save this fine establishment!

“It’s insured, but I won’t reject the ‘elp.”

You and T leap into the air with perfectly-synched girly screams at the sound of the gruff, familiar voice! Innkeeper, you begin, are you okay, man?

“Ahhh, this is nuffin’,” He grunts, his grizzled voice coming from the floor behind you, “Not the first time a wall of kegs fell on me an’ it won’t be the last…” He pauses for a moment as the three of you listen to fire crackling and Volka smacking assassins with salt. “I fink me leg’s on fire though, so if ye’d be willin’ ta’ ‘elp wivvat…”

No problem, you nod! T, gather up some salt! Let’s fight these fires!

“R-right!” She replies uneasily, “I think I saw some salt around here! H-hope no one took it!”

She’s not fooling anyone, but you don’t have time to care about that right now. Following Volka, it doesn’t take long for you to snatch up a mound of salt off the ground, and with the condiment in tow you get to work putting out the fires!

You can’t see them, but you can definitely hear them! Following the crackling all over the torched tavern, you make like a confused Johnny Appleseed and start dumping! After finishing one off, you turn around and duck just in time to avoid an airborne assassin sent flying by your bodyguard! As he crashes into the wall with a sickening crunch, another figure lunges from behind you!

Your hand heats up with fresh flames, but just when you’re about to give your attacker’s face a flick he’ll never forget, you trip over a busted table! The assassin becomes another victim of physics, however–as his lunge takes him over to you, the clumsy killer stumbles over you and lands in another patch of flames!

You’re about to douse the assassin with salt when he too fizzles into dust… either these guys are really flammable or they don’t plan on leaving any bodies!

T, you howl, did you run away, or are you still here?!

“O-Of course I’m still here!” The Durher stammers from the far end of the inn, “I was just putting out a really far fire!”

You hear a knife sink into some flesh! T!

“I’m fine!” She reports, “Guy tried to pull a fast one on me!”

Just try to keep one alive, you beg as you make to douse another fire, you wanna see if they can talk!

“What’s that?!” T asks as you hear her knife slip into someone else, “Got distracted, sorry!”

Never mind…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6105931
Feeling the heat die down around you, you turn and bump into another silent figure! Feeling a rough glove grab your shoulder, you instinctively bat at the glove’s owner’s face like an angry cat!

In any other circumstance you’d be dead by now, but the surprise kickstarted a handful of flames on your fingers that set the hoodlum’s hood ablaze with otherworldly flames!

“Wh-what the Hells!?” Sputters your Spinner friend from across the room! “It’s… it’s beautiful…”

The guy you set ablaze doesn’t think so, unless his race or species or whatever communicates love and joy by screaming. Scampering around the inn like a headless chicken, the assassin bursts through the front door and lands in a heap outside where the storm seems to have subsided!

You wait for another attack… another cheap shot… but nothing comes. Dumping your remaining salt onto a fire at your feet, you allow yourself a sigh as the sound of crackling flames is replaced with groaning wood.

“Not bad, mate,” Grumbles the Innkeeper as he strides over and gives you a pat on the back that nearly pounds you through the floorboards, “As far as pub brawls go, that was one fer’ the songs.”

“Way ahead of ya!” Chirps Tzah-Tzie as she begins to pluck away at her Harplute, “Now do we go with the salt, or say he rescued the maidens…”

Yea, you shrug, but his inn is toasted… is he gonna be okay?

“Best part of the Darklands roit there: no need ta’ repaint.” The moleg explains with half a laugh. “Lost me booze stores, though. That’ll set me back.”

Yea, you’re sorry to hear it, you frown, but what about his customers!?

“Plenny ran off once the fires started… the others, well…” You hear something grind in the Innkeeper’s undoubtedly broad shoulders. “S’ the way she goes.”

“Don’t worry, doesn’t seem like the dead could pay their bills anyways.” Reports Tzah-Tzie as she sidles up next to you.

How would she know that?

“Err… j-just a hunch?”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6105932
“Phew!” Sighs Volka as she trots up behind you and T and gives you both noogies, “Not a bad way to end a day at the pub, ey?”

She can say that again, you nod, head burning from the Skog’s knuckles. Is she okay?

“Hah! Never better!” She boasts as she puffs her chest out and sends her armor clanging like a wind chime, “Who were those guys anyways?”

Her guess is as good as yours, you frown, but you get the feeling they were after you…

“Seriously?” Scoffs T as the Innkeeper digs around in the rubble and pulls out a giggling Waitress, “We’re not at that level of infamy yet, Ant. But we’ll get there, don’cha worry!”

So what, you snort as the Durher shoots you a wink, were they here for Volka? HER?

“Wouldn’t be the first time!” T shrugs as if you’d asked her if she’d done laundry before. “Like I said before, it’s a curse being this popular…”

Yea, you’ll bet. Taking one last whiff of the inn, you turn towards the Innkeeper’s glowing orange eyes. Is uh… is he good?

“Yea, need any help?” Asks Volka as she cocks her head to the side! “I can carry beams like nobody’s business, y’know!”

“There is somefin…” The moleg replies as his hand grinds against his unseen chin, “Take it yer ‘eaded to Crossroads, yea?”

“That’s the plan!” Volka smiles as she gives your shoulder a bone-crunching pat, “Gonna take Ant here to meet my father!”

“Congrats.” Remarks the Innkeeper, prompting Volka’s eyes to go saucer-sized!

“N-not like that! Sheesh!” She stammers before laughing it off! “Ant’s new around here and could use some help, is all!”

“Well if you’re in the neighborhood, take this to OBBER’S MILL in the DOCKS DISTRICT,” Explains the barkeep as he hands you a small metal chip covered in grooves and bumps. “Tell Obber I need an’ express shipment. Do that an’ you’ll never pay fer’ a room again.”

“The last room we won nearly got us killed, though.” Huffs Tzah-Tzie with a frown.

“Fine, I’ll pay ya’ too, but you’ll ‘ave ta come back.”

“Ha-HA!” And we eat free, right?” The Durher asks as she leans in with a twinkle in her eye!

“Don’t push it.”

You agree, of course–seems like a relatively simple errand for a big reward. Pocketing the INNKEEP’S METAL, you turn to your companions and sigh. At least the storm’s passed.

“Yep!” Nods Volka as her tail thumps against the floor excitedly, “Ready ta’ hit the road, Rook?”

Good question…
>Yea, let’s go!
>Let’s look around a little more!
>One question first… (Who ya wanna talk to?)
>Write-In!

That's also gonna be the last update of the night. Sorry, folks, it was a rough day. Should have more for ya tomorrow though around the usual time!
>>
>>6105935
>“N-not like that! Sheesh!” She stammers before laughing it off! “Ant’s new around here and could use some help, is all!”
Volka's got me questioning whether Rezzie is still bestgirl...

>>6105935
>One question first… (Who ya wanna talk to?)
TT, you coming with, or staying here, or what?
>>
>>6105935
>One question first… (Who ya wanna talk to?)
TT, you coming with, or staying here, or what?
>>
>>6105935
>One question first… (Who ya wanna talk to?)
TT, you coming with, or staying here, or what?
>>6105958
There’s not enough tall bestgirls on qst.
>>
>>6105935
>One question first… (Who ya wanna talk to?)
TT I take it you're following us?
>>6105958
>Best girl
>Tries to kill us immediately
>>
>>6105935
>>6105958
Supporting. If she does join us, then I’d wait until we’re out of earshot of the innkeeper and then ask
>So what else did you find right before you left, TT?

If she stole salt, she probably stole other things. Not limited to the dead assassins either. But we can keep things innocent enough for Volka to overlook.
>>
>>6105958
>>6106037
>>6106044
>>6106158
>>6106469
>TT, are you following us?

Writing!

>>6105958
>Volka fighting Rezzie
No TTtards in the thread, I see... or MorookMates...

>>6106044
There's tall and then there's Volka

>>6106158
To be fair she didn't try to kill you IMMEDIATELY! She hesitated for a few seconds!

Anyways, fakken writing
>>
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While the inn remains a smoky sauna, the breeze sneaking in from outside is crisp and invigorating--that special blend of air you get after a storm subsides. You're a little worried about what awaits you on the road, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't eager to get some more answers!

There is one T that remains to be crossed, however. Two, in fact! Shifting your gaze towards the Durher's frisbee-sized eyes, you ask if she still plans on coming with you. No pressure, of course! In fact you wouldn't even be mad if she decided to go on her ow-

"Are you KIDDING?!" She exclaims with an excited hop, "We've only been together for a few hours and you're already battling evil, saving damsels, and throwing spells! Hells, this little episode alone is gonna be sung about for as long as this inn stands! Maybe even after they tear it down and build a good one! Oooh, they might even name a DRINK after you!"

...Damsels?

"Well there has to have been ONE damsel that survived..." Glancing towards the Innkeeper and his trusty Waitress, Tzah-Tzie puts on her best puppy-dog eyes. "Aha! See? You two! You're gonna name a drink after him, riiiiight?"

The moleg gives her a noncommittal grunt, earning a shrug from your new PR Manager, apparently.

"We'll circle back to it!"

So she's sticking around, huh? For good?

"Rhmhrm!" Nods the Spinner as she munches on some unseen morsel! "Dish ish gonna be an amazing and VERY lucrative partnership, Anton--I can smell it!"

YOU can smell table scraps, specifically the charred ones she's currently stuffing into her mouth, but if she isn't planning on leaving, well...

"Nuh-uh. No way! You'd have to cut all my limbs off and chuck me into a bottomless pit to keep THIS gal away!" Tzah-Tzie proclaims with a determined glimmer in her eyes!

You haven't reached that point yet, but it's good to have a plan! Gathering up her instruments and a few other things that you assume aren't hers, TT raises an eyebrow your way.

"One question, Ant--that... stuff you conjured... the thing that made my eyes hurt. What was that?"

"Well I thought it was just a human thing, but apparently they can only do that when they have a bomb... or are a magician! But really-"

Yea, you'll take it from here, Volk! Clearing your throat as the Innkeeper and the Waitress also lean in for an explanation, you inform your new friends that...

>You have no clue. Seriously.
>You're a special type of human with light powers. Watch out!
>TT probably just ate some bad leftovers... you didn't see anything!
>You have psychic powers and projected an image into their brains!
>You were summoned to Zoral along with a devil... maybe this has something to do with that?
>You're the Avatar of Aabaar the Fire God. Worship!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6106495
>You were summoned to Zoral along with a devil... maybe this has something to do with that?
>>
>>6106495
>You're a special type of human, you are the main character
>>
>>6106495

>>6106502 +1, or
>You have no clue. Seriously.
if not. Anything but confessing to being rare, valuable, or demonic in mixed company. Or in front of TT, honestly, since she's a blabbermouth with a reputation for getting protagonists killed.
>>
>>6106495
>The thing that made your eyes hurt was the color RED. Colors are something you see when light gets involved. If you’ve never lived with light then you could see how making sense of it would hurt!
>You kinda remember a book like that, thinking about it…
Yes, I still remember The Giver from required school reading.
>You were summoned to Zoral along with a devil... maybe this has something to do with that?
Add on “tragic source of powers” to our tale since it’s bound to cause many, many troubles with the MITAAR temple folks.
>>
>>6106511
I would wait until we’re further away before telling her the truth. There’s a good chance she’ll “embellish” our powers along those lines anyway, better to tell her the truth in advance so she can embellish it in other, less dangerous directions!
>>
>>6106495
>I acquired these powers not long after I did my duty as an F.B.I member, so I suspect it may have something to do with that. There's only one way to find out for sure. TT? I need to check you for Breast Cancer.
>>
>>6106521
The worst part is that I can’t say you’re wrong. We did, in fact, get nifty fire powers after acquiring a devil point from taking advantage of an innocent, and I have no idea how linked that is. Damn science and its insistence on repeatable experiments!

I’ll pass on this for now though. I’d hate to start tripping “Detect Demon” sensors until we have a better idea of what we’ll be doing here long-term.
>>
>>6106496
>I was summoned here with my pal Rezzie...

>>6106502
>>6106511
>I'm the protagonist! But seriously no fucken clue mate

>>6106512
>COLORSSSS
>RIDE THE SLED, JONAAAASSS

>>6106521
>HE'S AT IT AGAIIIIN

Writing!
>>
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Let’s uh… let’s get going first, okay? Before she can ask, you steal a sneaky glance at the Innkeeper and his serving wench. And another. And another.

“Oooh, gotcha~” TT winks after the fifth time, “Yea, let’s get some air, you two! Can’t compose a ballad with all this smoke hanging around!”

“Crossroads, here we come!” Announces Volka as she kicks the door open with a earsplitting crunch!

“Door’s over there, y’big oaf.”

“Whoops! Sorry!”

Making your way through the new door Volka kicked in the wall, you can’t help but sigh with relief as the cool, post-storm breeze tickles your face! Not a bad place to grab a drink, you remark with an approving nod! Aside from the assassins. And the fire.

“I give it less than a week.” Shrugs TT as she struggles to keep up with you and Volka. “No atmosphere and the food was weak.” Playing a few notes on her instrument, TT slinks up next to you and nudges the side of your knee with her hip!

“Speaking of atmosphere, spill the shrooms, Ant! What WAS that crazy stuff back there, hmm?”

Well, uh… you begin, unsure of how much you feel comfortable sharing with the mouthy musician, you’re just a special kind of human!

“Ooh, do TELL!” Gushes the girl as her fluffy tail swishes like a fan behind her, “I knew you were special, y’know. I’ve got a nose for these things!”

Yep, you nod, you’re a mythical being known only as THE MAIN CHARACTER: a superhuman entity that’s harder to kill than a cockroach!

You wait for her to laugh, but it never comes. Err, T? That was a joke, you don’t actually know-

“With a spring in his step and red flame in his hand… no blow could connect or attack ever land…” The Durher mutters as she plinks a few experimental notes. “That’s good... let’s go with that angle! ANTON THE UNDYING! Whaddaya’ think?”

Stumbling through what feels like wagon wheel tracks, you shoot a confused glance at your guide. You think your legs are starting to hurt. Could we have ridden to Crossroads?

“Course!” Volka nods with a spritely smile, “But caravans are mighty expensive around here… and Striders tend to scurry off if ya’ don’t tie ‘em down right!”

“The best thing about caravans are the free audiences!” Chirps TT! “Sometimes they don’t even throw you off if you play well enough!”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6106560
You’re more curious about these tracks, you frown as you give the muddy path a kick, these seem pretty recent, but there’s no one around…

“Oh yea, forgot to mention!” Volka reports, “That Salty guy was gathering survivors up! Said he had a wagon to get ‘em all to safety in!”

Good ole’ Salty Suutz, you nod, he really came through for you…

“Oh, that guy?” Asks TT as she idly tunes her Harplute, “I wouldn’t want him rescuing me, that’s for sure.”

He’s just a Mzz'goe'virr, T. Way to pass judgment!

“No, no… I’ve got no problem with those guys!” The Durher replies emphatically, “I just don’t like his line of work, is all!”

“What was it again?” Muses the Skog, her tail swishing and nearly smacking you in the gob, “He mentioned something about traffic…”

A… trafficker? Volka snaps a claw as a broad grin forms on her face!

“That’s the one! Didn’t strike me as a Caravan Master, but I guess professionals come in all sizes, ey?”

So wait, you stammer as you skid to a halt, we just handed over a bunch of scared survivors to a TRAFFICKER!? Why didn’t anyone tell you!?

“Uhhhh and miss out on an opportunity to stage a daring rescue!?” Counters TT in a voice usually reserved for mocking people who are WRONG, “C’mon, Ant! Think ahead a little!”

“Rook,” Mutters Volka like a child walking into a fight between their parents, “A trafficker’s the person that drives a wagon for people… r-right?”

Two Minutes Later…
“AAACKPTH! SPTTHH! I’M SPPHPRRRYYY!”

Having been carried by Volka for several updates, you’re not really surprised how easy it is for her to handle Tzah-Tzie. Still, you can’t help but be a little impressed as the Skog drags the Spinner through the mud behind her like a ratty old blanket.

And admittedly a little scared.

“Lemme carry you, Rook! Won’t catch up with ‘em at this speed!” Barks the amazon as she snaps her claw at you! “No time to waste!”

>Roll 1d100 (+5 Volka Speed, -2 Muddy Road, -3 Caravan Speed) to catch up! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 78 + 0 (1d100 + 0)

>>6106562
Suutz won't see us coming
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>6106562
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>6106562
>>
>>6106575
>>6106593
>>6106646
>HIGHEST ROLL: 78!
Writing!

>>6106575
>won't see us
ohyou.gif
>>
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You don’t want to piss Volka off, nor do you consider yourself much of a runner, so the choice is obvious. Swan diving into the air, you feel a surge of energy as the Skog grabs you by the scruff of your robe and kicks it into OVERDRIVE!

Darkness passes you by like cacti on the side of the freeway. You aren’t sure if darkness can blur or not, but if anyone could make it happen, you reason quietly to yourself, Volka could probably manage it. Bumping along the muddy trail with her tail still held tight by your guide, TT alternates between apologies and squeaks all along the way!

If it were you taking the wheel you probably would have fallen into a ditch by now, but thanks to your bodyguard’s speed and guile it isn’t long before you skid to a halt at the sound of roaring water up ahead!

Ackpth… oh thank the Gods…” Groans Tzah-Tzie as she hangs from Volka’s hand like a dead opossum, “Stop the world, I wanna get off…

“Trail splits off here!” Volka reports as she dips you close enough to poke at the ground. True to her word, the muddy tracks of a wagon seem to divert from what feels like the edge of a bridge towards a grassy hill leading to the riverside. Dislodging yourself from her claw, you give your associates a quick ‘ssh’ before leading the creep down the hill!

Chirps, clicks, and the rushing river mask your approach as you use the divots in the grass to guide you, and before long you hear the crackly voice of a familiar pubgoer…

“I cannae believe what I be hearin’--we be stickin’ to the plan!”

“Plan’s changed, Many-Eyes.” Grunts a set of tall, yellow eyes–these ones far more grizzled and nasty than Volka’s.

“We’re headin’ WEST.” Adds another similarly nasty-sounding voice!

Skogs…” Whispers TT with a hint of trepidation in her squeaky whisper… “Plural, Anton…”

Yea, you heard…

“Oti! Oi, OTI! Ye’ be ‘earin’ this codswallop!?”

A lazy voice from outside the circle of eyes answers with an impatient scoff. “I DO be ‘earin this’... not that it helps me concentrate on this SLEEP spell…”

A hiss that makes your guts crawl emanates from the area near the sleepy spellslinger–there’s something big over there, but you’re not sure what it is…

“You three stooges better calm down–you’re spooking the STRIDERS.” Adds the mage in a chiding tone.

“Aye, keep wavin’ yer axes an’ the ‘ole payload’ll be sailin’ down the river!”

Volka rises to confront them, but you stop her with a hand on her thigh, earning a small shiver from the gentle giant. You can’t help it, she’s TALL!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6107071
“Got a plan, Rook?” She asks as TT leans in too, mud still dripping from her fur! “I can keep ‘em busy!”

“And I can sneak over to the caravan…” Adds the Durher with mischief in her eyes. “They can’t really traffic anyone if their trafficees are gone!”

And if it’s locked?

“Leeeet’s just say I know how to get past a locked door or two~” The Spinner replies as she fiddles with some unseen ornament on her head.

Creepy, but not unexpected at this point. You weigh your options as quietly as you can–the riverside is covered in grass and ferns and a few trees if the rustling of branches and your sore toe are any indication…

STUBBED TOE COUNTER: 10

Ow, by the way. Still feeling FLAMES in your glowing hands, you shove them both into your pockets… but they could prove useful, non?

What do?
>Attack with Volka!
>Help TT release prisoners!
>Try to negotiate!
>Make a distraction further away!
>Scare off Striders!
>Set a forest fire!
>Listen for a bit longer… see what happens!
>Take 'em down quietly (Alone/With Volka/With TT/With Both)
>Write-In!
>>
>>6107074
>Scare off Striders!
They’re near the river, right? Toss some flames at it and see if it’ll vaporize part of it into an explosion. The color alone might freak them out too.

That should pull some of them away to chase after the striders, and Volka/TT can gank some of the remaining ones.

A small distraction to make sure they look away would be appreciated though.
>>
>>6107085
+1

>>6107074
>>
>>6107085
>>6107103
>MAKE A SPLAAAAASH!

A solid plan! Let's see how it works!
>Roll me 1d100-4 (-7 Skog Senses, -4 Dark, +5 Big Target (River), +2 Unnoticed!) to heat things up! Best of 3! Probably gonna be the last update of the night, too, and maybe a lot of the weekend--got some people visiting from out of town so expect sporadic updates if any!
>>
Rolled 51 - 4 (1d100 - 4)

>>6107162
>>
>>6107162
Actually fuck, I'll change this roll to 1d100-2 because of the RING OF ECHOS!
>>
Rolled 40 - 2 (1d100 - 2)

>>6107162
>>6107166
>>
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>>6107164
>>6107170
>>
Rolled 38 - 2 (1d100 - 2)

>>6107166
>>
Rolled 17 - 2 (1d100 - 2)

>>6107166
That means we need another roll, right?Right?
>>
>>6107381
Sure, why not! And hey, looks like we already have one in! Let's see how you di
>15
Oh. Well then. Can't update yet, folks, but might make something happen later this afternoon or evening! Gonna have senpai visiting all weekend. Will hopefully have a chance to update soon, but until then thanks for your patience and for playing so far!
>>
>>6107569
>senpai
I mean family. Stupid word filter.
>>
>>6107571
It's the worst. Does it still fuck with 'onions' too?
>>
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>>6107742
>>
>>6107164
>>6107170
>>6107254
>HIGHEST ROLL: 47!
YOOOOWWWCH! Writing! Apologies for the lateness!
>>
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Yes… very useful, you think to yourself as a devilish grin forms on your face! Maybe it’s time to HEAT things up a little! Heheheh!

“Are you okay?” Whispers TT as you sneer in Salty Suutz’ direction. “Is this a new bit? You need to share this stuff with me!”

Don’t worry, you smirk, you’ve got a plan! Concentrating on your palm, you feel a faint tingling as motes of flame start to dance around your fingers and coalesce into orbs!

“I dinnae care what you be wantin’--we ain’t trekking all the way to THE BITE!” Snarls Salty Suutz with a thin layer of anger barely hiding the fear in his eyes! “I be havin’ an arrangement with someone Crossroads–ye can’t-”

Time for another TOAST, you hiss under your breath! Bringing your hand back, you hurl the fireball as hard as you can at the river! This oughta’ spook some striders!

The orb sails across the inky blackness like a shooting star–its bright light grabbing the attention of everyone by the caravan!

“What in the-”

Before Salty Suutz or anyone else can get an answer, the fireball… well… okay, it keeps going.

And going.

Aaaaand going.

Wow, you really put some muscle into that throw!

“AAANT,” Whispers a very wide-eyed Spinner, “What the HELLS were you trying to hit with that!?”

The uh… you were trying to hit the river, you explain as you sheepishly point towards the sound of rushing water mere feet away! You were gonna spook the striders….

“Oh! And here I was thinking we were trying to make a flashy entrance!” Remarks Volka as she cocks her head to the side in a ‘what-can-ya-do’ manner! “Oh well, no harm done!”

“Erm… J-Jury’s still out on that…” Raising an eyebrow at TT’s foreboding remark, it takes a moment to dawn on you that you’re being watched… by quite a few people, in fact!

“OH!” Sputters Salty Suutz in surprise, “Th-thank the Gods ye be here, boyo! These two were going to steal me caravan an’ all the survivors we sto-err, saved! Go gettem!”

Salty Suutz’ daring escape is cut short by the sound of a massive blade being drawn–two, in fact!

“Stay where you are, Many-Eyes…” Grunts one of the Skogs in a low and rumbling voice like a lion’s growl, “Or we hunt you for sport.”

Uh-oh.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6107821
The other sniffs the air as your companions prepare for trouble–Volka stepping in front of you with her own weapon drawn, TT, well…

Is she tuning her INSTRUMENT!?

“Inspiration…” She trembles as she steps far behind you!

“Hmmm…” Remarks the other Skog as if he’d smelled a wet fart, “Who tamed you, girl?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, friend…” Snarls Volka as she stoops into a defensive stance, “But you’re not hurting anyone while I’m around!”

“Pathetic.” The Skog scoffs, “Traveling with cattle. You’ve been poisoned by weakness. Waste of a fresh woman.”

“Let’s suck it out of her...” Laughs his companion with a lecherous glimmer in his yellow eyes, “And eat the others…”

“I will take the hairy one… and the strange thing…” Declares Skog 1 as his hateful eyes settle on you. “It smells exotic.”

“They are yours…” Nods his friend as he readies his axe, “The Many-Legs and Glow Eye are mine.”

“Still trying… to concentrate here…” Grumbles the mage–Oti, you’re sure his name was. “Hells…”

A sharp breeze dances across the riverside as you feel something darting towards you–a Skog? No, his AXE!!

>Roll me 1d100-11 (-7 Skog Senses, -2 Dark, -5 Burning Hands, +3 Spinner Song) to dodge the attack(s)? Best of 3!
>>
Last update of the night, by the way--probably update again later tomorrow!
>>
Rolled 42 - 11 (1d100 - 11)

>>6107825
Moment of truth time.
>>
Rolled 37 - 11 (1d100 - 11)

>>6107825
>>
>>6107842
One roll per player, bucko! Which is good because that would have sealed the deal on this roll!
>>
>>6107842
Also please don't delete rolls. If we roll poorly we roll poorly--let's keep it fair, yea?
>>
Rolled 92 - 11 (1d100 - 11)

>>6107825
Hit him in the nuts!
Assuming skogs have nuts!
>>
>>6107832
>>6107842
>>6107854
HIGHEST ROLL: 81!
That's the ticket! Screw it, let's do one more update! Writing!
>>
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Adrenaline is one hell of a drug. Half-dodging, half-tripping backwards as the tusked terror darts at you, your hands scramble for something, ANYTHING you can use to defend yourself! As Volka rushes to meet your attacker with her sword, your palm finds purchase on some kind of rock on the grassy ground!

Your mind and body quickly shift into autopilot as your head smacks the ground with a dull ‘THUNK’, and the best thing they can come up with is to slam your improvised weapon into where you think the Skog’s groin is!

“GCKH!”

The skog’s charge is halted more out of surprise than anything else, and as he reels at Anton’s interesting choice of attacks, he’s left completely open for Volka to chop into his midsection with a resounding CLONG!

Armor–similar to Volka’s, you reason, scrambling out of the way just as Volka and her new dance partner begin to tango. Though she starts off strong, just the sound of feet moving and weapons clashing tell you her opponent’s got her on the defensive. To make matters worse, the other, clearly much more opportunistic Skog uses the opportunity to leap at your bodyguard from behind!

Tail clashes with armor, and though the amazon avoids being downed, she’s clearly outnumbered! You need to help, yea, but how!?

What do!?
>Burn them! Just gotta watch out for Volka…
>Have Tzah-Tzie cut their hamstrings!
>You’ve got a blade or two–get in there and help!
>You’ve got some throwing knives–use ‘em!
>Try to knock the Skogs off-balance! That river sounds treacherous!
>Write-In!

Okay seriously that's the last damn update for tonight. Be good, folks!
>>
>>6107869
>Burn them! Just gotta watch out for Volka…
>>
>>6107869
>Try to knock the Skogs off-balance! That river sounds treacherous!
I am afraid we have demonstrate such little accuracy at throwing magic fireballs in the pitch-black that we will cook our amazonian friend.
>>
>>6107869
>Try to knock the Skogs off-balance! That river sounds treacherous!
>>
>>6107869
>Write-In!
>Get TT to help Volka, then attack the mage guy.
I don’t like whatever he’s doing, and I don’t want to give him time to do it. Besides, only room in this town for one cool magic guy.
>>
>>6108199
+1
The magic guy is more dangerous because we don't know what he will do, but he is also the most squishy, take out the weak link first
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>6107876
>BURN THEM!

>>6107877
>>6107883
>BOWLING!

>>6108199
>>6108221
>Send in the Spinner/Mash the Mage!

Looks like we got a tiiiiiiiiiieeeeee~Gonna roll for it.

1=Knock Skogs off-balance
2=TT helps Volka, Get the Mage!
>>
>>6108244
Brute Bowling it is! Here comes the rolls...
>Roll me 2d100-7 (-7 Skog Senses, -2 Dark, -5 Burning Hands, +3 Spinner's Song, +2 Smacked 'em in the beanbag, +2 Distracted by Volka) to knock 'em into the river! Two rolls, one for each Skog! Best of 3! Beware!
>>
Rolled 34, 40 - 7 = 67 (2d100 - 7)

>>6108248
lets see those 1s
>>
Rolled 5, 97 - 7 = 95 (2d100 - 7)

>>6108248
>>
Rolled 98, 19 - 7 = 110 (2d100 - 7)

>>6108248
>>
>>6108252
>>6108359
>>
>>6108249
>>6108252
>>6108359
>HIGHEST ROLLS: 91 and 90!
Holy shit, you guys. Writing the last update of the night!
>>
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No time to waste on rational thought here–Volka might be good, but these guys have superior armor and probably training as well! Leaving TT to fend for herself, you race into the fray with your hands burning bright as road flares!

Dueling like two giants, Volka and her opponent barely notice as you rush by–the one sneaking up on her, however, sees you as a prime target, and if you weren’t wearing your RING OF ECHOS you probably wouldn’t have even clocked the tail whip aimed at your knees!

Leaping over the scaly scourge, you barely have time to duck as the Skog brings an axe the size of two Antons over to meet your neck! You feel the hairs on your chin and a few bangs get neatly bisected by the impeccably sharp blade, but your odd landing proves to have some benefit!

Rolling across the damp soil like a dropped soda can, you turn to Volka and yell for her to aim for the river! LOG MANEUVER! As you quickly realize how many different ways she could misinterpret your plan, your bodyguard instead abandons her sword fight in favor of DROPKICKING her opponent like a pro wrestler!

Another bone-shaking ‘KLONG!’ rings out across the riverside, but this time physics rears its ugly head and sends the Skog stumbling towards you! As you feel heavy footfalls approach, you clamp your eyes shut and wait for your head to be split open like a watermelon in a beach episode of those Japanese cartoons you love so much, but as per usual these days the bad luck belongs to those around you!

Curled up in a ball, you somehow manage to make yourself just dense enough to be tripped over which sets up a chain reaction of unfortunate events for your would-be killers! With each uneasy step in the muddy ground, the Skog loses more and more balance, and by the time he reaches his friend he’s practically a rolling boulder!

Tangling together like Christmas light strands, the scaly scallywags tumble head-over-tails into the river with a splash! Paddling with wide eyes as the current carries them to what you can only hope is certain doom, the Skogs somehow manage to keep themselves from being swept away… but only barely!

Sheathing her blade with a ‘heh... guess you’re all washed up!’ that would make any protagonist proud, it appears Volka isn’t keen on being their judge, jury, and executioner. By the way Tzah-Tzie is looking at you, you’d guess she’s just fine being the judge–yours, to be precise.

As for Salty Suutz and his pal Oti, well… the look in their collective eyes tells you they know they’re jumping out of the fire and into a frying pan…

What do?
>Finish the Skogs with some flashy blade work!
>Toast them both.
>Let them drift away on their own–they ain’t worth it.
>Offer to help them!
>Do nothing.
>Write-In!
>>
>>6108456
>Offer to help them!
>>
>>6108456
>>Let them drift away on their own–they ain’t worth it.
>>
>>6108456
>Let them drift away on their own–they ain’t worth it.
Better luck next time, losers!
>Taunt them
>>
>>6108456
>Let them drift away on their own–they ain’t worth it.
We're not a murderer
>>
>>6108456
>>6108676
+1 wtf are consequences anyway
>>
>>6107869
>Try to knock the Skogs off-balance! That river sounds treacherous!
Look, if we manage to miss aiming at the ground with our fireballs I’ll be impressed. Set up some hot zones to hem her “main” dance partner. Once his footwork gets fucked it should be easy for Volka (or us) to charge him into the river.
>>
>>6109017
Anon, you're like 40 hours behind. >>6108456 is the current vote.
>>
>>6108456
>Let them drift away on their own–they ain’t worth it.
I’ll reflect the morality of our party members.

>>6109020
And here I thought the refresh would have caught me up. Good thing /qst/ was recently upgraded to use future votes to help break ties through the dice-rolling system so long as you remember to still future-vote after your choice wins a tie.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
>>
>>6108482
>The Super Good Option in the RPG

>>6108676
>>6108710
>>6108933
>>6109025
>IIIIII'M SAILIIIIIIING AWAAAAAAAAY
>Also lol get rekt scrubs gg ez

Writing!

>>6109017
I've got good news for you, anon: your vote WON! But it's been nine years...

Writing! Senpai is heading home tomorrow, but work is happening too, so expect the usual not-so-frequent-but-still-slightly-more-frequent updates!
>>
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You’ve never been a very vengeful or bloodthirsty person–that’s what the scattered jigsaw pieces that are your memories tell you, at least. You could get mad, sure… definitely frustrated! But wishing someone would die?

Yea, that’s a new one. As you watch your attackers cling for dear life to an unseen rock in the river, however, an unfamiliar sensation wells up within your gut–one that tickles you pink, imagining the two helpless Skogs bloating up: cheeks blue from lack of air and corpses bloated with water… all that strength and size, you think to yourself, and for what?

Nothing.

It’s only after you feel a dainty paw poke your side that you realize you’re drooling. Shaking the feeling off like a dog drying itself, you glance at Tzah-Tzie with the best ‘normal’ expression you can muster. Y-yea?

“You uh… you okay?” Asks the Durher with genuine concern in her squeaky voice, “You look a little distant.”

TT might have some faults, quite a few glaring ones, in fact, but the girl was definitely perceptive. Yea, you smile, just thinking of the best way to taunt those assholes! Turning your attention back to the Skogs, you cup your still-burning hands around your mouth and give them some swimming advice!

Hey assholes, you shout, pausing to wink at Volka, don’t forget to kick with your legs!

While the Skog in the back snarls in response, the one in front of him seems to contemplate your suggestion! W-wait, you-

It’s hard to make out what happened given, well, the darkness and all, but if you had to guess by the cursing, splashing, and the Skog leaping out of the water like a coked-up bullfrog, you’d guess he used his friend as a springboard!

Landing on the shore with a thud as his associate drifts away like a plastic wrapper in one of those sad ‘Protect the Ocean’ infomercials, you can’t help but feel a little concerned as the wet warrior’s eyes glow with pure, unadulterated malice!

“Watch it, Rook!” Shouts Volka as she steps in front of you, “He’s going berserk!”

Before you can ask what that means, the Skog rushes towards you blade drawn and foam tumbling off of his sharp teeth as a primal roar deafens you!

Tearing the RING OF ECHOS off your finger, you watch as Volka is batted aside by the berserker’s unseen shield as he moves to chop you into mince! Okay, T, you sputter, it’s do or die time!

You know better than to expect a response, but it still hurts when you turn to find the Spinner sprinting for the hills as she tortures her Harplute!

Mere seconds from being torn apart by a pissed-off Skog, you feel an uncharacteristic calmness as you widen your stance a bit–the flames on your fingers dance even faster and brighter than usual, and though you stare at certain pain, something tells you that yes:

You can do this.

>Roll me 1d100-4 (-10 BERSERK SKOG! -4 Dark, +1 Spinner’s Song, +2 Footing +7 Luck?) to take care of him! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 38 - 4 (1d100 - 4)

>>6109095
+200 from no allies being in the way. We can afford to LET LOOSE a little!
>>
Rolled 17 - 4 (1d100 - 4)

>>6109095
>his associate drifts away like a plastic wrapper in one of those sad ‘Protect the Ocean’ infomercials
Your analogies continue to delight and amuse, QM.

> the Skog rushes towards you blade drawn and foam tumbling off of his sharp teeth as a primal roar deafens you!
I'm definitely imagining it as the Disney Gargoyles roar.
>>
Rolled 57 - 4 (1d100 - 4)

>>6109095
I'll pull our ass out of the fire again.
>>
>>6109105
>>6109108
>>6109121
>HIGHEST ROLL: 53!
Gonna pick this update up tomorrow since it's been a long-ass weekend, folks, but thanks again for being patient! Should have more for ya Monday around 6pm Mountain Time! Seeya then!

>>6109121
Our hero
>>
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The Skog’s feral roar jostles your skull as you quickly smush the fire motes dancing along your fingers together as if making a very confused snowball! Coalescing into a sizable fireball, you bring your hands back beneath your shoulder before shooting them forward and releasing the pyrokinetic projectile directly into the tusked terror’s chest!

You feel a quick tug on your chest as the flame connects, and with a teeth-rattling ‘THOOM’ you’re launched through the air like a clay pigeon! Landing with a less-impressive, but still painful ‘FWOOMP’ on what feels like either a well-placed mushroom or a funky-smelling bean bag chair, you roll off of your savior just in time to see a Skog-shaped inferno shambling towards you still screaming bloody-murder!

Globs of burnt scales and sloughed skin tumble to the riverside with unnerving thumps as the berserker stares daggers at you with his glowing, throbbing eyes! Skogs going berserk, you think to yourself as your opponent hefts his flaming axe with murderous intent in his eyes, you’re not a fan!

As you struggle to whip up some more flames under pressure, you hear a few heavy steps approaching the Skog from behind! Whether he’s too angry, too in pain, or too on fire to notice you’ll never know, but with the precision of a chainsaw-wielding surgeon Volka cleanly brings her sword in a perfectly straight line across your assailant’s knees and hews clean through them with a very impressive and VERY painful ‘SHHUNK!

Like a grocery bag placed too close to the edge of the counter, the Skog tumbles to the grass as his legs literally collapse under him! As your bodyguard moves in for the kill, however, the berserker flails both tail and axe around like a pissed-off gator–the former tripping Volka and sending her head-over-heels onto the ground!

The girl is already scrambling to her feet, but it’s not fast enough! Now half the man he used to be, the Skog is just unburdened enough to crawl towards you like a spider–his path marked with burning scales and bloody spittle all the way!

You try every hand gesture you can think of, but even with the Skog nearly upon you, you just can’t conjure up another fireball! As the smell of burning flesh and a bloody mouth closes in, you reach into your pockets and draw your CURVED BLADE!

Leaping to your feet with as fearsome a roar you can muster given the circumstances, which unfortunately isn’t very scary at all, your toe connects with a rock and sends you tripping towards certain doom!

STUBBED TOE COUNTER:11

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6109674
Certain doom, it seems, belongs to your opponent–mid-fall and mid-shriek, you find your descent halted by your CURVED BLADE sinking into something tough, but still fleshy! Opening your eyes, you realize your sword is hilt-deep in the Skog’s braincase! Guess he wasn’t wearing a helmet! Or he just misplaced it in the chaos. Man,SALLY SAFETY: THE SAFETY SQUIRREL would be ashamed!

ROOKIE!” Sputters Volka as she rushes over to you with the speed of a frightened mother, “Oh HELLS, please tell me you aren’t dead!”

You’re fine, you pant as the flames fade from your hands, but you can’t really say the same for the other guy…

As the two of you watch the Skog slow-cook, you’re suddenly TACKLED by some kind of fuzzy medicine ball!

“THAT. WAS. INCREDIBLE!”

Oh, it’s Tzah-Tzie. Yea, you shrug, it was okay, you guess, you reply as you put every effort you can into not trembling from the ordeal.

“Okay?! OKAY!?” The Durher snarls with eyes as wide as frying pans, “You just danced with two Skogs, my friend… one of whom was BERSERK! And you LIVED!

“Yep! Not trying to toot my own trumpet, but we Skogs are… well, known to do that...” Volka adds with an embarrassed grin. “But ya’ did good, Rook. Real good.”

Thanks, you smile as you feel a scaly claw pat you on the head, but we’ve got some loose ends to iron out…

Your two stalwart companions follow your gaze over to the eight red eyes frozen mid-creep. Why didn’t he just leave during the fight?

“Ach! I, er… the thing about that being-” Sputters the trafficker as Volka approaches with punching intent, “Y-you wouldn’t hit an eight-eyed man, would ye?!”

“Good point. Maybe I oughta poke a few out first...” Snarls the Skog on YOUR side!

“WaitwaitWAITwaiT!” Blubbers Salty Suutz as he drops to what you assume are his knees, “I… I just…”

Just what, you frown. Because he’s gonna be ‘just’ing a whole lot less in a few moments if he doesn’t explain what the hell just happened!

“W-well, y-y’see…” He begins, eyes shifting and body chittering, “OTI! NOW!

His command is met with an annoyed groan that would do any teen proud. “What. Part. Of. ‘I’m concentrating on this SLEEP SPELL’ do you NOT UNDERSTAND!?

“I thought ye be tryin’ ta’ bamboozle ‘em inter a false sense o’ security!”

“Yea, nope, sorry. No bamboozling.”

Sinking to the ground like an eight-eyed balloon at the end of a party, Salty Suutz looks up at you with a mixture of fear, defeat, and embarrassment in his eyes. Man, you’re getting good at reading these guys!

“Okay… the truth bein: them Skogs were seekin’ ta’ kidnap us survivors ta’-”

Volka, you sigh, hurt him.

“My pleasure~” She hisses with a grim smile!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6109675
“OKAY! OKAY! The REAL truth! I… I be havin’ a contact in Crossroads!” Explains Salty Suutz with renewed fear in his tone, “I deliver the people, they give me bells an’ be tellin’ me ta’ scram!”

“Who’s the contact?” Growls Volka as she and TT lean in, the former to look menacing, the latter to be a nuisance.

“I cannae be tellin’ ye!” Stammers Salty Suutz with renewed resolve! “They’re wit’.... They be high up, they be!”

HOW high?” Volka snaps, her pupils shrinking into slits!

“Th-th-TH-the SPICE CARTEL!” Moans Salty Suutz as viscous globs of foul-smelling gook ooze from his eyes! “Y-ye cannae say no to them! Everybody knows that!”

You don’t, you reply, clearing your throat when you realize it was a dumb thing to say. Err, and what about his mage friend, huh? Is he on their spicy payroll, or something?

“Nae, nae! Oti’s a good lad!” Counters Salty Suutz with a shake of his head! “A bit of a short fuse, aye, but he be havin’ nothin’ ta do with this charade!”

“I owed the old bag a few bells from back when he had a boat.” Adds the bored-sounding Chytree over by the caravan. “Imagine my excitement when I found out this was how he wanted to settle the debt…”

A boat?

“Aye!” Nods the Mzz'goe'virr emphatically, “Used tae take her out on the Black on treasure hunts fer the Mox! Caught some mighty fine seafood too, I did!” The ex-sailor’s eyes darken a bit. “But when it was lost, well… all I had was this wagon…”

And his first thought is to go into trafficking? Why not just be, like, a Caravan Master or something? Or a driver?

“I was approached by the Cartel! I be sayin’ it again: ye don’t say NAE to them!”

“Or ‘no’, for that matter…” TT adds with a knowing nod. “They can be… pushy.”

Jesus Christ, you groan, is there anyone out here who likes her? The Durher responds by smiling and shooting you her best puppy dog eyes.

Great…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6109676
“Hm.” Grumbles Volka as her tail rhythmically thumps against the ground, “Doesn’t matter what the circumstances are–you two should be turned in to the Bellcounters.”

“WAIT!” Cries Salty Suutz as he wraps a dozen hairy, chitinous limbs around your leg, “J-just let me go, aye? I be dead if I don’t deliver anyone! I’m beggin’ ye!”

He could be dead right now, you frown. Balance that out on your abacus! T, you continue as you try to shake the salty sea dog off your leg, any thoughts?

“Ya got me…” She sighs, her chipper face drooping as she ponders your question. “Those Spice Cartel guys don’t fool around… but I don’t want to collaborate with a Slavecatcher either–that definitely didn’t end well last time…”

Wait, what?

“Err… Slavecatcher: The Musical!” Squeaks the Spinner! “Y-yea! That’s it! Never again! T-too taboo a subject! Audience HATED it! Mhm!”

“Listen, if you kill him can you at least let me go?” Asks Oti from over by the surprisingly-calm Striders, “I’m a victim too, y’know.”

What do?
>Ask another question–you need to understand!
>Time to die, Salty Suutz!
>Sorry Oti, you’re dead!
>Just get out of here, both of you! Leave the caravan!
>You’re going to Jail, Salty.
>You’re hitting the slammer, Oti!
>How about you give us all a ride to Crossroads?
>Write-In!
>>
>>6109677
>You’re going to Jail, Salty.
>Oti, you can do whatever, but what's all this about a sleep spell?
>>
>>6109677
>Time to die, Salty Suutz!
>Sorry Oti, you’re dead!
>>
>>6109693
+1, let the legal system deal with this
>>
>>6109677
>>6109693
+1. Also,
>Think of it this way, salty, it’s not like the cartel will know you gave up - we beat you guys fair and square.
>>
>>6109693
+1
>>6099997
>But don’t worry–our big rule is to NEVER KILL!
this was just yesterday kek. skogs gonna skog skogs i guess
>>
>>6109843
>this was just yesterday kek. skogs gonna skog skogs i guess
Perfectly valid self defence on our part
>>
>>6109847
> attack camp
> it was self defense
i think we were in the right here, however we did just kill 2 men.

maybe we should propose the idea of a mace to Volka. that may help with the no killing thing if shes serious about it.
that, or just never bring up the topic
>>
>>6109848
We can't insist on solving everything peacefully, it is hard to stop a skog without putting them down
>>
>>6109943
not saying we should, i only tried to point out how odd this situation looks on Volka's part
>>
>>6109843
>>6109963
Maybe it's more 'no executions'? We should probably clarify so we kno2 waht's expected of us, though.
>>
>>6109693
>>6109794
>>6109842
>>6109843
>Salty goin to the SLAMMER
>Oti tell me about this spell you've been trying to concentrate on

>>6109763
>Frontier Justice

Writing!

>>6109843
>Skogs gonna skog skogs
Hell yes we finally have our first racial statement of the quest! Let's GOOOOOOO

>>6109848
>Propose a mace
Bruh I don't want to lead votes or anything, but a mace is pretty lethal too

>>6109963
Volka's a wacky one, but we love her for it~

Anyways let's WRITE
>>
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Your understanding of the legal system is spotty at best, doubly so for the wacky fantasyish world you’ve recently stumbled upon. She might’ve just chopped a guy’s legs off, but as far as your companions go, Volka’s the closest thing to a lawman… er… lawSKOG, so the decision is obvious.

Salty Suutz, you declare in a grim tone, you’re going to JAIL. Trafficking people isn’t cool, especially after a freaky assassin attack!

“Hey, YEA!” Snarls the aforementioned lawSkog as she picks the future convict into the air, “The assassins! Why’d you send ‘em after Anton, huh? TALK!

“GCHK!” Croaks Salty Suutz as he dangles from Volka’s claw like a grape, “Wh-why the Hells would I be tryin’ ter assassinate my product!? I had nothin ter do wit that!”

“Trust me: he’s way too poor to hire assassins.” Adds Oti in a laconic tone. “And so am I.”

“But…” Stammers Detective Volka as the menace slowly departs from her eyes, “But then… who did?”

“Wasn’t me!” Tzah-Tzie quickly replies, “I don’t have-”

Money, you interrupt with a nod, we know. Look, Volka, you sigh, you’re as curious as she is about those guys, but the disgusting slaver has a point–there are plenty of other ways to kidnap people without getting assassins involved.

“Yea, like putting a paralytic agent in the booze!” Chirps TT with a helpful grin that quickly morphs into an embarrassed grimace. “Errr, I mean… hypothetically, that is!”

“You’re riiiiight…” Grumbles the bodyguard with a pout on her face, “But I still wanna arrest this guy…”

Then let’s arrest him, you reply with a smile! And hey, let’s take this wagon full of survivors to Crossroads too! They’ll love it!

“What if they weren’t headed to Crossroads?” Scoffs the mage sitting by the Striders.

Then too bad, you shrug, don’t get chased by assassins into some stupid sleeping spell! Speaking of, you add, what’s the deal with that anyways?

“It’s a spell,” The Chytree replies in a tone drier than a desert in Summertime, “That makes people sleep. Need any other facts confirmed for you? My name? Current Guild Chairman?” Sending another derisive ‘tsk’ into the air, Oti shakes his head in disbelief. “Who the Hells are you anyways? It’s magic, you fool.”

Well, you begin, you’r-

“He’s a HUMAN! From another WORLD!

Dammit, Volka!

“Oops…”

“Ah. So you’re the one she was ranting about in the inn…” The green-eyed sorcerer stares at you intently as if trying to make you disappear. “Well this changes things...”

Rising from his leaning spot against the caravan, Oti strides over and appraises you. “What’s your plan, anyways?”

“He’s-”

VOLKA!

“That was TT!”

“Nuh-uh!” Stammers the Spinner, “It was Salty Suutz!”

“Please lemme down…”

SHHH!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6110327
Would people PLEASE stop asking you that!? You just wanna go home, you groan! And maybe learn magic or something! But home’s the priority!

“Hm… can’t help you with the home part,” The mage begins as he strokes his unseen chin, “But that THING you conjured–now that I can work with.”

“Work how?” Asks Volka warily.

“I’ve got a lab in Crossroads–you agree not to turn me over to the Counters, I’ll run a few tests. Might even give you some more control over ‘em.”

“Yea, no way!” Snarls the Skog as she steps in front of you and spreads her arms out with Salty Suutz still dangling, “Anton’s not your guinea pig… and you were perfectly fine working with a trafficker until we took care of your muscle!”

“Well I think ‘Anton’ has a say in what he’s allowed to do.” Sniffs Oti as he glances past Volka and over to you. “Don’t you agree?”

Yea, well-

“Because I’m perfectly fine dropping my spell and getting out of here. Good luck explaining why everyone’s in a caravan and magically groggy.” He shifts his glowing gaze towards Salty Suutz. “Hells, blame it all on him, for all I care.”

“I… I don’t like this guy, Rook…” States Volka under her breath.

“You didn’t like me, but look at us now!” Chirps TT as she leans against the Skog’s leg and gives her a wink!

“I… I still don’t really like you…” Volka replies in an apologetic, but still pretty brutal tone.

“W-well anyways,” The Spinner sputters as she turns her gaze towards you, “More magic’s good, right? And we can work on a good story to tell all those survivors when they wake up outside of Crossroads!” Tapping away at her tablet, the girl mutters to herself in thought. “Now should it be two Skogs or ten...”

It’s certainly an offer… but is it one you’d better steer clear of?
>Just hit the road, man. Git.
>You might drop by, sure.
>Sounds GREAT! Let’s do it!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6110330
>You might drop by, sure.
We'll think about it.
>>
>>6110334
>Yea, maybe!
Writing the last update of the night!
>>
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You’ve only been here for a few hours, maybe, and you’ve got more obligations than you did back home! Basking in the rare, but not unpleasant feeling of being popular for once, you pull your head out of the clouds before it gets stuck there.

You might drop by once you get a few things taken care of, you reply with a genial smile! The look Oti gives you doesn’t have anywhere near the same amount of pep.

“Oh of course--take your time! Sniff the mushrooms, wash your barbs, not like I have a schedule to keep to…”

He’s helping an old creep kidnap people and just got caught, though–he seems pretty free to you!

“Tch. Well if you might drop by then I might let you in…” The Chytree snaps, disco ball eyes strobing with what you’re pretty sure isn’t childish delight. “Ask around in SKINNER’S BLOCK for the FIREWORKS SHOP. They’ll know where I live.”

Fireworks… in a world with no light? A mischievous glimmer dances across the mage’s eyes.

“Exactly. Now leave me alone if you want these people to stay asleep…”

Leaving the moody magician to his own devices, you turn to your other comrades and shrug. Shall we?

“It’ll be nice to be carried for once!” Remarks Volka as a boisterous laugh leaves her belly! “Small comforts, yea?”

“It’ll give me time to practice a tune or two!” Adds TT before her smile droops a bit. “... though this isn’t much of an audience when they’re all dozing off…”

“Jus’ take er’ easy-like wit’ Speck n’ Daler!” Warns Salty Suutz in a tone more suited for someone not dangling from a Skog’s claw, “They be daintier then they be soundin’!”

It takes you a moment and a horrifying shriek from the ‘Striders’ at the front of the caravan to realize who the trafficker is talking about. Right, you frown, you’ll be gentle!

Chucking Salty Suutz into the back with his would-be slaves, Volka cocks her head to the side.

“You wanna try your claws at driving, Rook?”

Yea, you nod, what’s the worst that could happen?

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6110464
It takes you a few minutes of pathetic groping, but eventually you scurry like a crab up into the driver’s seat: a plush, well-worn number made of some kind of rough-hewn cloth or hemp! Pretty itchy, but still better than walking!

As you get cozy, you bump a device that, upon further inspection, reminds you of one of the water guns your sister used to torment you with when you were young.

Yea… you have a sister… DYLAN-

“I want to get to Crossroads today, so let me just dispel some of the mystique for you:” Begins Oti, his impatient tone yanking you away from memory lane, “Fire the paste stream where you want to go. Don’t splash yourself unless you want to be a Strider Snack. Simple enough?”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice–the paste shifting around inside the ‘gun’ reeks like old tuna and the clicking you keep hearing from the unseen beasties below you are reasons enough. As you locate the business end of the TUNA LAUNCHER, you’re joined up front by…

>Volka!
>TT!
>Oti!
>S-Salty Suutz!?
>No one! What are you, a chauffeur?
>>
>>6110465
>S-Salty Suutz!?
>>
>>6110465
>Oti!
>>
>>6110465
>>Oti!
>>
>>6110465
>TT!
Sutz is just gonna beg for mercy, we’ve JUST finished talking to Oti, and as much as I’d like to talk with Volka more, we don’t really know much about TT. Maybe we’ll get some backstory?
>>
>>6110565
+1
>>
>>6110476
>SALTY!

>>6110496
>>6110537
>OTI!

>>6110565
>>6110588
>THAT ANNOYING BARD THING!

We've got a tie that's lasted pretty much all day and while I'm usually down to roll for it I think >>6110565 made a pretty reasonable point, so yea. Time to HACKFRAUD it up and make an executive decision!

Writing!
>>
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You’re scarcely gotten the hang of the TUNA GUN before you hear something skitter into the seat next to you–its eyes wide with excitement as their owner begins to pluck at their instrument.

“Ahh~nothing like the open road, ey, Ant?” Sighs Tzah-Tzie as she leans forward to catch some breeze on her face. “Infinite possibilities! Infinite stories just waiting to be told!”

She knows you’re going to Crossroads, right? That’s a pretty finite possibility right there. The girl responds by nudging you in the side.

“You know what I meaaaan… I’ll bet people in your world love to travel too–don’t try to deny it, now!”

She’s not wrong, you shrug, but we get around a little differently than, well… here.

“Oh?” The Spinner replies, cocking her head at a painful-looking angle, “Do tell!”

TT gets the Volka treatment–all the details you can recall about humans, their inventions… everything you left behind and have no clue how to make. As the caravan trundles along the path, however, you notice that the Durher doesn’t interrupt you once, nor does she even bother writing anything down!

In conclusion, you end with a sigh, that’s what you think about public transportation!

“A land of lights and carts of steel…” The girl mutters under her breath as she rhythmically taps her foot on the caravan, “That’s… Anton, I don’t know what to say–it all sounds so…”

Cool?

“Unbelievable!” She replies, nearly leaping out of her seat in the process! “I mean the idea you had of replacing everything with tubes is nice and all, but to think you can fly through the air and ride for miles with machines… it’s…” Pausing to close her eyes and soak in all of your words once more, the Spinner turns your way again with a look of determination!

“It’s settled! I’m going with you when you find your way home!”

Cool your jets, hoss, you say with a good-natured laugh, you have no idea how you’re gonna do that yet!

“Well once you do, and you WILL because you’ve got ME, you’ll take me with you! Got that!?” She concludes as she jabs you in the chest with a pointy claw! “I’m adding that to our contract!”

Wait, when did we sign a contract? You get your answer in the form of a few loose notes off her Harplute that drift off the road and into… whatever it is you’re traveling past.

“There’s always somewhere better than where you are…” Tzah-Tzie recites under her breath. “Just gotta get there first…”

The conversation, and by extension the road, grow quiet as the Spinner goes back to strumming.

Only after that does it dawn on you that you don’t know much about her at all.

What do?
>Just chill–let her practice.
>Ask about TT’s family!
>Inquire about TT’s instrument.
>Query about TT’s life as a Spinner.
>Ask her about the other people in your group.
>Write-In!
>>
>>6110896
>Query about TT’s life as a Spinner.
>And her life as a durr-hurr. What are they all about?
Got to... Stay strong. Can't fall for the Pepper-alike all over again!
>>
>>6110896
>Query about TT’s life as a Spinner.
>>
>>6110903
>>6110908
>HOW'S BARD LIFE?
>AND TELL ME ABOUT DERHERS
Writing probably the last update of the night!

>>6110903
>spoiler
Don't do it, anon
>>
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So, you begin in a softer tone so you can still hear the song, why’d she become a Spinner anyways?

“Because I like singing! And music! And dancing too!” She replies as if reading off of a shopping list. “Aaaaand as an added bonus I happen to be really good at all of those things! No training, either… you’re lookin’ at 100% all-natural talent!”

Okay, you reply, not fully convinced, but still interested, but what made her… y’know, start doing it? Did she just decide to sing one day in a tavern? Was there a contest?

“Y-yea! That one!” Nods the Durher emphatically!

Which one?

“The uh… the concert thing!” TT explains as she hits a note a little too sharply, “I signed up and won! Could hardly believe it at the time!”

Your eyebrow slowly raises along with your curiosity. Where did she perform?

“Oh, well…” She stammers, her tail flicking against the caravan, “It’s in Crossroads… but I think it shut down, so… goodbye memories, I guess! Haha!”

She’s acting more suspicious than a horseshoe crab in a rainforest, but you’ve learned to expect a little weirdness from the pint-sized performer. T, you begin in a diplomatic tone as your caravan rattles across a bridge, she can tell you the truth, y’know.

“You’re right… I can!” The girl announces, eyes wide in realization! “Nothing but! You got it, Ant!”

It takes a few minutes and a bumpy ride through some potholes before you realize she isn’t gonna continue. T, you repeat in a less-diplomatic tone, the truth?

“I toldja already, silly!” Giggles the Spinner as she playfully slaps your shoulder with a delicate claw! “Gee, you’re real curious all of a sudden!” Leaning in close with her eyes half-lidded, the girl gives her instrument another strum as she sends a Cheshire smile your way! “What’s your game, hmmm? Ya’ trying to write a song about little ole’ meeee?”

You just want to get to know her a little better, that’s all! Especially if she’s gonna be sticking to you like a… like a stick!

“Uh-huh. Suuuure~”

Get your tail away from me!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6111019
Okay, fine, you sigh as you prod TT’s rapidly-advancing face away from you with your finger, then can she at least tell you more about Durhers? You’re having trouble keeping up with all of these names and races.

“Suuuure, I thought ya’d never ask!” Chirps the Spinner as she plays a few cheerful notes! “Well we’re nowhere near as big as some of the other races here in Zoral, obviously, but we make up for it in a lot of ways!”

Such as?

“Well we’re ADORABLE for starters~” She giggles as you feel a tail gently swat against your side, “But don’t let it fool ya–Durhers came up with a lot of inventions even before the light went away–Readable Roads, the Strider Guider, oh, and they say Durhers collaborated with Mox and Gnok to make that BUMOT writing system, but anyone can tell ya’ it was mostly us!”

What about that instrument she’s been fiddling with? Is that a Durher thing too?

“Huh? Oh, the STRIILI?” Asks the Spinner as she strums the instrument a few more times for good measure, “Funny you mention it–this is actually a Moleg instrument! They used to use ‘em to soothe Striders back when they all lived in tunnels underground.”

You can’t help but smile imagining the Innkeeper belting out a sick Striili solo. Okay, you nod, you’re definitely learning a thing or two…

“Careful~there’s gonna be a quiz later!” Chides Tzah-Tzie with a teasing laugh! “What else… oh, our fur kinda picks up movement and our noses are pretty strong… and we can’t regrow limbs like Skogs or Salty back there, but we can always regrow a tail! Wild, huh?”

Good to know, actually! So if she ever loses hers-

“Oh Hells, don’t even put that idea in my head!” The girl whines as she tugs on her unseen ears! “I mean… it grows back, yea, but it REALLY hurts! Don’t even THINK of yanking a Durher’s tail, bub! I mean it!”

You weren’t planning on it, you shrug, but it’s hard not to think about now that she’s brought it up…

“Oh, and we’ve got BIIIIG families!” Concludes the Spinner with a pluck of her Striili! “They say it’s because some tusked terrors kept rounding us up and eating us, but-”

Tzah-Tzie’s eyes widen as she recalls her present company. “Err… anyways, strength in numbers, y’know?”

You blink. She must have a pretty big family then, huh? Your question is met with an expression more suited for a deer about to get mulched on an interstate highway. Err, T? You okay?

“Y-yea!” She nods with a forced smile, “Never better! And uh… that’s it for Durher trivia! And lucky you: the quiz is postponeeeeed~” Punctuating her statement with a nervous laugh, she goes back to playing her instrument as the road becomes a bit more solid. Must be getting closer to the city…

Anything else?
>Ask TT something else!
>Talk to Volka!
>Speak to Oti!
>Bother Salty Suutz!
>Just ride for now!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6111020
So TT is a loser with a bad reputation where she has any reputation at all, and she's either not close with her family or they're all dead. Got it.
Somebody pat this poor cat!

>Speak to Oti!
I still want to figure out if he's got any merit to him. When I voted to spare him it was mostly because I bought that he'd been pressganged somehow, but it seems like he was genuinely working with slavers. Does he REALLY not feel bad about that at all?
>>
>>6111020
>Speak to Oti!
>>6111030
Wizards have no sense of right or wrong
>>
>>6111020
>>Just ride for now!
>>6111030
Or taken as hostages/slaves and used as leverage to make her do whatever she does that gets het clients killed
>>
>>6111020
>Ask TT something else!
How old is she? How long has she been in the spinning business?
>>
>>6111030
>>6111045
>Speak to the jerk again

>>6111073
>I drive...

>>6111085
>TT A/S/L

Looks like our new favorite mage/slaver wins it! Writing!
>>
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As it slowly dawns on you that you probably aren’t going to get any personal stuff out of your Spinner in Residence without booze, trust, or some sort of torture tools, you turn your attention to your second least responsive passenger on your little road trip! Hey Oti, you begin, got a question for ya!

“What can I do for you, Anton?” Replies the Chytree in a tone that would definitely NOT pass the Grease Monkey Super Server Customer Interaction Checklist. Well, you begin as Tzah-Tzie continues to practice a song, you don’t want to point fingers-

“What the Hells is a finger?”

It’s… an expression, you sigh, rubbing your temples as you pass by what sounds like a waterfall. Look, you just want to know why he decided to work with Salty Suutz in his little scheme.

“Because I clearly had nothing more important to do…” The mage scoffs with a roll of his glowing eyes. “I told you before: I owed him a lot of money. And still do, now that the deal’s fallen through.” His eyes narrow a bit as a faint buzzing sound emits from their segments. “I’m not sure if I should be thanking you or passing you an invoice.”

You get the money, you retort, but… but slavery? He doesn’t seem very broken up about it.

“Like I said, it was a lot of money.” The sorcerer sighs. “Suutz owned a boat a while back–I would charter it to search for undersea artifacts.”

That… sounds dangerous.

“Even the most seasoned sailors know not to underestimate the Black, yes…” Oti nods with a hint of reverence in his perpetually-irritated voice. “Doubly so when diving in the South. MIKK’S realm.”

Now there’s a new name. Mikk?

“One of the Four Lords of the Treaty, yes.” Explains the mage with an impatient nod. “Mikk rules the South–a land of cliffs and jungles, but also the largest expanse of unexplored ocean in Zoral. And for good reason, I might add.”

Let me guess, you reply as TT listens in as well, sailors don’t come back from there? Your guess is rewarded by a slow golf clap.

“Bravo. It’s a wonder you haven’t figured out a way home on your own with a mind like that!”

So who are the other lords, anyways? And what’s this treaty, you add as you lean back a bit to hear your teacher better!

“To the North lies UMBERAL, the City of Lights,” Oti begins as if telling a child a bedtime story, “Not that it has any, of course. It’s the capital of inventions, however, and is ruled by a supposedly undying Count and mage of considerable power named TRIER.. Shrewd even for a politician–and twice as mysterious.”

Spooky, you whisper, feeling an icy breeze tickle the back of your neck like a spider…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6111647
“In the East sits SPLIT TEETH: a vast wilderness of fungal forests and fetid fens… and deeper within sleeps SYSSKA: Mother of A Thousand Young. Her children stalk those unlucky enough to wander too deep into the woods, but hardier folk manage to thrive. I certainly wouldn’t mind the solitude, but…” Shrugging, Oti continues his explanation.

“You’ve already met some envoys of the people to the West. The land’s called The Bite for several reasons, none of them good.”

Why not?

“It’s Skog country, first and foremost,” The Chytree explains, making no attempt to conceal his contempt in front of your Skog companion, “The whole frozen hellhole is ruled by a Skog Warlord known as KHODRA-”

“They say he’s killed more people himself than everyone in Zoral combined!” Mutters Volka in a tone teetering between fear and reverence.

“You can imagine his hospitality.” Smirks Oti. “Everyone living in The Bite follows a simple rule: ‘what’s yours is Khodra’s.’”

So then this treaty-

“Is something they came up with once the light disappeared, yes.” The sorcerer interrupts, clearly not as enthused about world history as you are, “To each their own, and nothing more, or else. And therein lies why Crossroads is so appealing: it has its share of cutthroats and cowards, yes, but it’s also safe from the ambitions of those so-called ‘Lords’.”

“Some say they were responsible for the whole ‘light going away’ thing too!” TT adds as if telling a ghost story! “Or it’s punishment for their ill deeds in the past!”

“Yes, storytellers never fail to break new ground in stupidity.” Replies Oti in a dry tone. “Back on the subject of my debt: Suutz was the only sailor dumb enough to poke around in the South, so his fees grew to be a bit… substantial.”

“An fer’ good reason!” Snarls the sea dog from the back of the caravan! “I hope ye’ be rememberin’ what I done fer ye’ when ye be handin’ me over to the damned Bellcounters!”

Seems like quite a debt if you’ve been doing this for a while, you remark with a probing stare!

“Relax, this was my first and last time dabbling in slave trading. The old fool only contacted me because his previous mage…” The chytree turns towards his ex-partner with a quizzical look in his eyes, “What did you say happened to him again?”

“Les’ just say he didn’t be farin’ as well as ye did against them Skogs I hired when e’ got inter a disagreement wivem…” Groans Salty Suutz as the memory replays in his head, “Knew I shouldnae hired from the bottom of the barrel…”

“Yes, it didn’t seem like a good idea to cut and run with them around… But if you still have doubts about my character, consider this:” Oti concludes with a smile in his voice, “If it was any other mage, they would have disintegrated you all ages ago! How lucky you are!”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6111649
As you divide your attention between your travel companions and keeping your caravan on what you hope is the road, you start to notice a change in your surroundings–the road is flatter, for starters, and in the distance you hear the creak of wooden structures amidst the breeze.

Windmills, you think, not that you’ve ever seen one before. As you pass by one of the structures your ears are tickled by the faint song of wind chimes blowing in the wind, your nose kissed by the smell of fresh-cut grass.

“Looks like we’re nearly there!” Announces TT with a triumphant strum of her Striili! “Welcome to the Outskirts, Ant!”

“Should reach the City Walls soon!” Adds Volka from the back of the wagon. “Just keep it steady, Rook!”

True to their words, the creaky chorus of windmills increases exponentially as you trek through vast tracts of unseen farmland marked only by the sweet smell of fruits and the tinkle of bells marking each row. You’d probably lose yourself in the unseen spectacle of it all were you not hailed by someone on the side of the road!

“Hoi there!”

Before you can react, Volka, Tzah-Tzie, and even Salty Suutz have already returned the greeting! As the caravan starts up a steeper grade, you raise an eyebrow at your comrades. Friendly people around here.

“It’s just neighborly!” Explains Volka with a hint of teacher in her voice, “You always say hello to others on the road–it’s just how it is!”

“They say it used to be an old rule y’know! If someone was creeping around and didn’t say hi, people assumed they were up to mischief!” The Spinner adds with a grin! “Now it’s just something people do!”

“Just don’t expect someone to greet you if they want to put a knife in your arceptyx.” Adds Oti with the usual charm in his voice. “People around these parts aren’t as well-mannered when they want to kill you.”

Awww…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6111650
Speaking of, you begin, deftly sidestepping yet another tumbleweed of negativity from the Chytree, should you be worried about, y’know, entering the city? Your question gets four sets of stares: three of them blank, one of them irritated. You can probably guess who had that one.

“There have been a bunch of guards at the entrance gates as of late…” Muses Volka as she scratches her chin in contemplation, “But maybe they’ll be more focused on the people we rescued?”

“There are also a few other ways into town if you know where to look!” TT adds with a mischievous grin plastered on her foxy face! “I can getcha in while the others go the normal route…”

“They’ve been cracking down on teleportations lately, so forget about that.” Sighs Oti. “I’m coming with you if you take an alternate route--goody two-shoes here can talk to the guards.” He adds before staring at Volka.

“I ken also be helpin ye in if ye be lettin’ me go!”

Think again, asshole!

What’s the plan here?
>Volka’s plan. Play the hero! You saved the people!
>TT’S plan. Let’s not meet the guards yet.
>Salty Suutz, tell us your route or Volka will hurt you!
>Let’s just get this whole ‘From Another World’ thing over with. Be totally honest!
>Write-In!

That's it for tonight, by the way--got sidetracked by dinner and some SURPRISE OBLIGATIONS! Seeya tomorrow at the usual time, you lovely players, you~
>>
>>6111651
>TT’S plan. Let’s not meet the guards yet.
>>
>>6111651
>TT’S plan. Let’s not meet the guards yet.
The only urban protection squad I trust is the LAMPLIGHTERS! Everyone else is CORRUPT and UNTRUSTWORTHY and OVERALL DISTASTEFUL! Which is why we should smuggle ourselves in, apparently
>>
>>6111735
>>6111825
>SLIP IN!

Writing!
>>
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If the events of the last few hours have been any indication, you’re gonna have a little meet-n-greet with the local authorities eventually… that goes double for that ‘Temple Guard’ Volka and Morook were talking about before. Still, you decide to do to these inevitable confrontations what you do to your dirty dishes:

Leave ‘em until they become a problem!

T, you begin, the girl in question’s eyes lighting up like firecrackers covered in glitter, what’s this back route?

“You’re gonna loooooove iiiiiitt~” she sings, expertly dodging yet another simple question. “Trust me: I don’t even use the main gates anymore! Too much traffic!”

“You sure, Rook?” Inquires Volka with a hint of worry in her tone, “I’m sure they won’t hassle you if we mention your new position in THE LAMPLIGHTERS!

“Oh Hells, I knew I recognized your voice…” Groans Oti as he furrows his brows even further, somehow, “You’re the ringleader of those loons that run around at night causing trouble, aren’t you?”

“Heheh~trouble’s the cause: WE’RE the effect!” The Skog retorts with a smug grin!

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I agree! Oh Crime...” Oti answers your bodyguard’s dismissive shake of her head with one of his own, albeit for slightly different reasons.

“Show us this back route, Spinner. I can’t be held accountable for what I’ll do if I stay in her presence any longer.”

“Sure, just gotta get my bearings~” Replies the aforementioned Spinner as she starts to sample the air with several deep sniffs, “Oh, where should we meetcha’ when we’re inside, Volkie?”

“V-Volkie?” Replies the Skog, her voice sporting a rare shade of embarrassment, “Erm, let’s meet at the EMPTY BOTTLE APOTHECARY--it’s near THILO’S FOUNTAIN.

“Ooh, I know that neighborhood!” Swoons the Spinner! “There’s a bakery nearby with the best crumb cakes… and they just throw out half of it every day for some reason! What a waste!”

“Disgusting creature.” Mutters Oti as he stares at the Durher like an unflushed toilet.

You’re suddenly not as enthused about your decision. Right as you’re about to chance a meeting with the guards, Tzah-Tzie straightens up with wide eyes!

“Got it! Take the reins, Volkie! The rest of you can follow me!”

Snatching the Strider Guider out of your hands and tossing it to Volka, TT hops off the caravan and lands like a cat on the gro-

Wait, nope, she lands like a potato on a steep incline.

Man, she just keeps rolling…

“You next, hero.” Offers Oti as he gives you a firm, definitely not playful shove!

“Wait fer me!”

“Oh no you don’t!” Snarls Volka as she snatches Salty Suutz mid-leap! “Careful out there, Ant!”

A LITTLE LAAAAAATTTTEEE!!!

>Roll 1d100+2 (+5 Willpower!, -3 Uneven footing) to not break anything on the way down! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 92 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>6112159
>>
Rolled 51 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>6112159
Watch me hit this natty 1
>>
Rolled 69 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>6112159
>>
>>6112172
>>6112181
>>6112286
>HIGHEST ROLL: 94!
Yowza! Writing!

>>6112181
Not today, Satan
>>
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All that physics stuff they kept hocking at you in High School wasn’t hooie after all–tumbling down the grassy hill like a wheel of cheese in one of those funny British contests you watched on MeTube, you only come to a stop when another, equal force is enacted on you:

In this case: a massive, moss-covered boulder.

You hit the side of it with all the grace of a bird smacking into a window before laying flat on the dew-covered greenery beneath you. If you were anyone else you’d have probably broken a rib or an arm, but this world clearly underestimates Anton Peas!

That’s what you keep telling yourself as you try to hold back pained tears, at least.

“Oh good! You’re alive!”

Not bothering to get up, you merely crane your neck with an unsettling ‘crack’ towards the pair of catlike eyes just barely looming above you and the smug grin attached to them. TT, you remark in a dazed tone, you’re okay too…

“Heh! Well I wouldn’t be that good of a Spinner if a little tumble took me down!” She replies with a cheerful wink. “Now where’s that mage…”

Her question is promptly answered by said mage gracefully descending down the hill as if he was being lowered on those wires they use in the old kung fu movies. Landing with nary a sound next to you, Oti studies you with his segmented platter-sized eyes like a State Trooper looks at a pile of fresh roadkill.

“Are you waiting for an invitation?”

He’s gonna get an invitation to an ass-kicking, you snarl as you stumble to your shaky legs! What was that push for, huh?

“Motivation. Stimulating as this little adventure has been, I’m eager to get back to my lab sometime this week.” Shifting his ever-judgemental gaze towards your new trail guide, the Chytree cocks his head to the side.

“Shall we? I told your… friend up there that the survivors will be waking up shortly.”

Before you can ask, you hear a chorus of confused screams atop the hill.

“Ah. That’d be them.” Concludes the sorcerer before making a series of chitters. “Time to go.”

“Hah! Yea, they’re always so disoriented…” Chuckles Tzah-Tzie as she takes a few steps away.

“Well c’mon, legends ain’t gonna write themselves!”

You suddenly wish you stayed with the caravan. The sentiment is doubled when you pick up a whiff of something RANCID in the air…

What’s that stench, you mutter, clutching your nose like it was about to fall off!

“Our way in, Mr. Undying~”

Yea, you shoulda stayed on the cart…

“That moniker is ridiculous. Stop it.”

“Hmmm… How about no!”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6112633
Your hopes of the horrid smell just being a fart are dashed, like so many other dreams, against the proverbial rocks when you realize the odor is just getting stronger as you follow the Durher. T, you begin, your nose still clenched in a death grip, where… Where are we going?

“To the back entrance!” She repeats, descriptive as usual. “What, never took a detour before?”

“Not when said detour is a SEWER OUTLET, no.”

Oh god, Oti’s right, isn’t he? Your fears are confirmed when the unseen pastoral beauty around you is unceremoniously stamped into the dirt by the sound of wet, sloppy chunks of… something hitting the dirt… the foul smell now strong enough to make your eyes water!

“Oh don’t be such a hatchliiiing…” Chides the Spinner as she trots over to the source of the infernal slopping, “Run around in the sewers enough times and you’ll never smell ‘em again! Besides, you wouldn’t believe all the nifty things you can find! Why, one time I even found a-”

You’re not even surprised by Tzah-Tzie’s behavior anymore, but you still decide to interrupt her. Cool, you begin, but how exactly do we get in? Is there, like, a service door or something?”

Your innocent question is rewarded by not one, but TWO derisive laughs! Oh no, they’ve joined forces!

“S-service!?” Sputters the Spinner, still in the throes of laughter, “What… l-like for a butler!?”

“What a backwards world you must come from…” Adds Oti with an uncharacteristic amount of mirth in his tone! “Do your people carry their waste? On platters?!

Forget it, you frown, grumpily crossing your arms. They just don’t get you!

“Our entrance is right here, Ant!” Tzah-Tzie explains, cocking her head towards the source of the slopping with far too much enthusiasm in her eyes! “Just gotta wait for it to stop…”

True to the girl’s word, the flow eventually slows to a faint trickle… a more judgemental person would probably call her out on how well-versed she is on sewer outlets, but you know what they say about glass houses…

“I’ll go first!” The sewer spelunker announces before diving head-first into the unseen pipe like a snake into a woodpile! “Hurry now, won’t be clear for long!”

That’s a hell of a motivator…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6112635
Scrambling in after her before Oti can beat you to it, common sense catches up with you and reminds you that you’re a moderately-sized person… and this pipe is, well… small.

The Durher’s tail tickles your nose as you worm your way through–the smooth, stone passage a bit more comfortable for the tiny tune-slinger than you.

It takes every bit of WILLPOWER you have to avoid losing your lunch, but after what feels like hours of squirming through unpleasantly warm and soupy liquid, you emerge into a slightly less-cramped, but still drippy brick chamber–the thin layer of… stuff squelching under your boots with each step…

Oti emerges a moment later surprisingly devoid of any caustic remarks as he takes his place next to you. Based on Tzah-Tzie’s eyes, however, you nearly mistake her for a kid in a candy store.

“Alright, here we are!” She announces like a tour guide with an espresso IV bag! “Ears peeled: you never know what treasures you’ll find down here!”

A thick blanket of pungent humidity drains any enthusiasm the girl might have instilled into you.

… why is she like this? Who did this to her?

Before she can answer, your newest exciting adventure is put on hold by a sound that sets your neck hairs on end: amidst the orchestra of viscous, churning fluids and the sound of mighty unseen machines grinding and turning within the brick walls around you, you and your companions hear a low, lingering moan that sounds as if it came from the walls themselves!

Turning to your guide for answers, all you get is a view of a very tense Durher. Opening your mouth to ask a question, you feel a small claw clasp around your nose!

Keep things quiet and follow me…” Tzah-Tzie warns as she beckons you and Oti forward with a nod of her head, “Use the guide rails to keep from falling in!” Letting your nose go, the girl raises an eyebrow at you. “... strange mouth ya’ got there…

It has a mouth?” Asks Oti with hushed, but genuine interest.

Focusing on not tripping into the veritable RIVER of sludge you hear around you, you dutifully follow behind the Durher…

Does she know where to go?

Kinda!

Fantastic…

>Roll me 1d100 (+3 Ring of Echos, +3 TT Guide, -2 Dark, -4 THE STEEENCH) to navigate safely! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 96 + 0 (1d100 + 0)

>>6112637
>>
>>6112659
Jesus CHRIST
>>
Rolled 96 + 3 (1d100 + 3)

>>6112637
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>6112637
>>
>>6112659
>>6112677
>>6112718
Anton Peas has smelt worse than this
>>
>>6112659
>>6112677
>>6112718
>HIGHEST ROLL: 96!
Y'all navigate the SHIT outta this sewer imma tell you right now. Writing!

>>6112719
So true, questie
>>
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The odds are against you, that much is certain: mucking around the sewer in a strange new world shared by a gaggle of people you only just met a few hours ago and countless unseen horrors, chief among them the very real danger of tripping over your own foot into a maelstrom of organic waste…

Anyone else might have quit by now–but you aren’t anyone else, are you?

Psst! How ya’ guys doing back there?” Hisses Tzah-Tzie as you and Oti trail close behind like ducklings.

Enjoying every minute of it, thanks…” The mage snarls, his lack of footsteps suggesting he has some kind of Levitation spell going… or can just fly. Can Chytree fly? You’ll have to ask when your eyes and nostrils aren’t being excavated by Eau du Toilette.

You’re fine, you boast as quietly as you can! You’ve smelt way worse than this!

It’s only after you hear a stifled chuckle from TT that you realize your error. Errr, you’ve smelt way worse things than this! That’s what you meant! You’re unsure if the palpable silence afterwards is your comrades trying to remain sneaky or said comrades not believing you.

They are, unfortunately, not mutually exclusive.

You’re just about to argue your piece when you trudge straight into Tzah-Tzie’s frozen form–an impressive feat given her head barely makes it above your hip line! Before you can ask why she stopped, you’re interrupted by another rumbling groan akin to a roll of thunder that rattles the entire sewer followed by a chorus of eardrum-rattling chirps!

Your instincts tell you to run for your life, but seeing your partners remain like statues gives you all the inspiration you need to follow suit. Freezing in place, you bite your lip and hold your breath as a wave of hundreds of suction-cupped tentacles scurry past and over your boots, their owners chirping like scared chicks in a henhouse!

Letting the critters pass you by, you dare not move until your guide does… and when she finally relaxes, the girl glances at you not with concern, but irritation!

“Just our luck! A pack of TOTTAS like that would be worth a fortune to the right chef or alchemist… we’re gonna have to come back here, Ant.”

You respond with a polite laugh, but abandon the gesture when you realize she isn’t joking. Of course she isn’t joking…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6112780
“You can roll around in the muck all you like later and by yourselves…” Groans Oti as he continues to levitate above said muck, “Now is there an exit nearby, or should we set up camp? I noticed a delightful pile of rot a few tunnels back…”

“This must be an older tunnel system…” Remarks the Spinner with a hint of embarrassment in her tone, “Normally there are exit ladders all over the place, but… well…”

So what she’s saying is, you interrupt as diplomatically as you can manage, she’s LOST.

“N-nyehh…” The girl replies as her gaze drops to the floor. “W-well look: I can feel a breeze ahead! That’s gotta lead out, right?”

She’s not wrong–taking a few cursory steps forward, you feel a faint, but welcome cool breeze up ahead! It’s only after you slam into a sticky wall, however, that you realize you’ve hit a fork.

STUBBED TOE COUNTER: 12!

To the left your ears definitely pick up the sound of grinding gears and hissing… steam, maybe? Whatever it is it doesn’t exactly sound brand-spanking-new…

Dead ahead is a concentrated pocket of pure STANK if your nostrils are still serving you properly. The sound of foul liquid churning and bubbling also hits your ears… must be a larger canal or something of the sort!

The rightmost tunnel, however, is an anomaly: try as you might to cup your ear and sniff past the repulsive odor around you, you don’t seem to hear or smell anything distinct! A good sign, perhaps?

Relaying the info to your fellow sewer spelunkers, you get some responses of mild use:

“‘Steer clear of silence’: that’s a saying that’s kept me alive for a while now!” Explains Tzah-Tzie as she furrows her brow at the rightmost passage. “Trust me on this, Ant.”

“If there’s machinery running, chances are someone has to be able to maintain it.” Adds Oti in a tone slowly leaking patience, “Golem, technician, it matters not–we should head that way.”

You’re about to carefully weigh their words when another sewer-shaking moan sends the muck jostling beneath your feet… if you had to guess you’d say it came from far behind you… with the luxury of time no longer affordable, you lead your pals…

>To the LEFT towards the machinery!
>Down the CENTER towards the gurgling!
>Over to the RIGHT into the silence!
>Let’s SPLIT UP, gang!
>We should go back a ways. This sewer sucks!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6112784
At least there don't seem to be sewer mutants
>To the LEFT towards the machinery!
>>
>>6112784
>To the LEFT towards the machinery!
>>
>>6113110
>>6113156
>TO THE LEFT TO THE LEFT
Writing!

>>6113110
>no sewer mutants
So sure of that, are you
>>
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Peer pressure wins another battle as you lead your band of merry misfits down the left passage. It’s slow-going given the lack of light, naturally, but at least these sewers seem to have the worker’s safety in mind! Like they even have this guard raOOOAAAAUUUGH!

“ANT!”

The guard rail shifts beneath your arm’s weight and nearly sends you toppling into the Missishitty River, but you’ve stopped yourself from falling into the fryers at work more times than you can count–this here is child’s play!

Harnessing the combined force of your SKELETAL AND MUSCULAR SYSTEMS, you manage to lean away from the river of refuse and instead fall harmlessly on the sticky, but far less deadly brick floor!

… you might need a wet nap for your face and eye, though.

Do they make wet naps for inside your mouth, too?

Scuttling back to your feet with a hasty ‘Imokay’, you resume your previous leading and shepard everyone into a colossal room–dome-shaped, if you had to guess. A rain of condensation drips from the ceiling far above–the deluge fed by the rhythmic hiss of steam jetting out from groaning pipes snaking all over like vines in a jungle canopy!

Further towards the center of the room comes the rhythmic clanging of massive pistons–their function unknown, but their power more than enough to make your teeth rattle! Between you and them sloshes a whirlpool of hissing, frothing filth…

“Sounds like Durher design…” Remarks Oti with a hint of reverence in his usually-caustic voice. “Say what you will, they certainly build things to last.”

“Wonder what it’s all for?” Adds TT as she deftly ignores the offhand comment. “Seems a little much for moving sewage around…”

You never really took the time to explore sewers back in your own world, you offer, but you’re pretty sure they ain’t built like this! As the brick below your feet is replaced by a creaking catwalk, you pause for a moment to turn to TT and Oti. Is this, um… is this safe to walk on?

“Walk?” Asks Oti as he drifts back and forth through the air.

“I’m pretty light so it should be okay~” Adds the Spinner, clearly not understanding the deeper meaning behind your question. Shaking your head, you take another step along the catwalk, each step rewarding you with an unnerving metallic groan!

It’s only after taking a few more steps that you realize something else is creaking–and it’s coming from beneath the sewage!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6113320
Rogue waves of waste rock the catwalk as something MASSIVE rises from the sea of sludge like some kind of sewer-delving submarine! Shielding your eyes from the murky mist produced by the emerging object, you only dare to look once the shaking catwalk slows to a gentle sway…

When you remove your hands from your face, you find yourself staring into two rows of colossal red eyes–each one glowing with the heat and strength of a boiler and big enough to fit you inside if you crouched!

What. The Hell. Is that.

“It’s some kind of CONSTRUCT!” Exclaims Tzah-Tzie with a mixture of excitement and utter terror in her voice! “And it’s HUGE!”

“Brilliant assessment.” Remarks Oti as he returns the colossal construct’s stare with a venomous one of his own, “Care to shed any light on what its function is?”

“If I had to guess,” The Spinner speculates as the giant watches you with menacing passivity, “I’d say it keeps this area running?”

Before you can inquire further, the robot trains its eyes on you and leans closer to the catwalk producing an ear-ringing metallic groan and another wave of refuse! Though you can’t locate a mouth or speaker on it, your entire face rattles when a synthesized series of… words? Boom from within the colossus’ body!

Did anyone get that? Both companions shake their heads. Thinking back to what Morook said about you being able to understand languages, you can only reason that either something’s wrong with the bot… or it’s not really speaking.

Or you have no idea what the hell is going on. That’s been a pretty popular conclusion lately. As the sewer servitor repeats its ‘words’ even louder, you feel the room heat up as even more steam blasts out of the pipes above… and something huge bursts out of the filth and rockets towards you!

>Roll 1d100-6 (+3 Spinner’s Song, -2 Dark, -4 STENCH, -3 BIG GUY) to avoid whatever’s happening! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 65 + 6 (1d100 + 6)

>>6113321
>>
Rolled 88 - 6 (1d100 - 6)

>>6113321
>>
Rolled 64 - 6 (1d100 - 6)

>>6113321
>>
>>6113329
>>6113343
>>6113345
>HIGHEST ROLL: 82!
Writing!!!!
>>
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Whether she sensed an incoming struggle, wanted to soothe the sewer sentinel, or merely started as a nervous tick it’s hard to say, but for whatever reason Tzah-Tzie begins strumming her Striili just as a filth-laden fist the size of a van crashes through the catwalk!

Still levitating, Oti floats to safety with the greatest of ease, though the flash in his disco ball eyes suggest he’s not as calm as usual! As for you, well, what started as a clumsy stumble to the side became a wild ride–stepping on a clump of particularly… fresh filth, you slip and slide like a drunken figure skater out of harm’s way!

Weaving between catwalk shrapnel and sewer shower, your momentum keeps you one step ahead of the giant’s attacks, and as its humongous hands rip through the pipes around you like they were made of balsa wood, the room erupts into an impromptu sauna!

Your shitskating shenanigans end when you’re launched through another flimsy guard rail and sent flying over the sea of waste! Flailing through the air like a squirrel falling out of a tree, you can’t help but chuckle a bit as you think to yourself: ‘talk about a crappy way to die!’

Fortunately said death never comes–not now, anyways. Your ears pop and your eyes sting as your landing zone erupts into a sheet of ice, and while it’s certainly preferable to diving into dung, hitting it face-first isn’t exactly painless.

Ow!

“Focus!” Barks Oti as he dips and dives between the construct’s attacks like a winged dolphin, “I can’t fight and babysit you simultaneously!”

You weren’t TRYING to take a dip, you snarl back! Baited by your shouting, the construct slams its fist into the sewage next to your ice floe, sending you and it sailing through the chamber and over to the pistons near the center!

“That’s it, Ant!” Hollers Tzah-Tzie from the corner of the room you entered from, “Lead ‘em over to the pistons!”

“Forget that–shatter the eyes!” Counters Oti as he chills the sewage around you with a few hasty words under his breath! “The binding runes are inside them!”

And HOW are you supposed to do that, huh!? Flopping onto your belly to dodge a sweep of the giant’s hand, you send a pleading glance at the mage!

“I’ll cool them down–you handle the rest!”

You DO have some throwing knives, but the eyes would have to be REALLY cold for those to have an effect… and it’s not like you’ve got a degree in chucking knives around… Playing hopscotch from ice floe to ice floe as you feel that familiar heat well up in your hands and eyes, you decide the best course of action is to:

>TT’s Plan! Let’s crush this tin can!
>Oti’s Idea! Eye bet it’ll work!
>Throw some flames!
>Let’s focus first on getting back to the catwalk!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6113442
>Throw some flames!
Extreme cold plus rapid, extreme heat? that'll shatter lots of stuff!
>>
>>6113442
>Let’s focus first on getting back to the catwalk!
I mean, this thing is clearly a part of the civic engineering for the city and they want us to destroy it? We’re not terrorists! Yet.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>6113459
>>6113577
Part of me wants to keep this open until tomorrow, but the other masochistic part of me wants to just flip a coin, so here goes!

>1 = Fiiiiiiyuh
>2 = End these icecapades first!
Writing, kinda!
>>
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>>6113660
Fire it is! Last update of the night and it's a tiny one...

>Roll me 1d100+3 (+3 Spinner's Song, +3 Bigish Target (EYES), +5 Poo Gas, -2 Dark, -4 STENCH, -2 Uneven footing) to shatter this guy's expectations! Best of 3 and have a great Monday, y'all! Here's a pinup of your FAVORITE DARK QUEST GAL to help you get through the Monday grind!
>>
Rolled 93 + 3 (1d100 + 3)

>>6113663
>image
Kek
>>
Rolled 51 + 3 (1d100 + 3)

>>6113663
>>
Rolled 64 + 3 (1d100 + 3)

>>6113663
Works for me!
>>
>>6113664
>>6113716
>>6113904
>HIGHEST ROLL: 96!!!!
YOW! Writing!
>>
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Not bothering to wait for a reply, Oti pirouettes through the air like one of those flying, spinning dolls that always got stuck on the roof and sends a chill throughout the chamber with what you can only assume is another ICE BLAST! As a thick layer of ice gets comfy on the construct’s glowing eyes, the mage turns to you and nods!

“I set him up, you knock him down!”

Yea, you roar as you adopt a wide stance on the ice floe as the waves of refuse send it tossing and turning around the chamber, you’re gettin’ FIRED UUUUUP!

YOU MORON!” Howls Oti as the flames leap from your fingers and towards the icy automaton, “THERE ARE GAS POCKE-

Hey, you snort with a goofy grin, he kinda sounds like this devil you met-

A faint hiss followed by a pop are the last things you hear before the aforementioned gas ignites, bathing the chamber in a massive explosion that immediately flash-fries everyone inside!

While the construct is damaged, it’s not enough to keep it from doing its job. Gathering up what little remains of you and your pals once the flames die out, it unceremoniously shoves you into the maelstrom of filth and dutifully gets to work repairing the damages.

You’re dead. The universe remains cruelly impassive.

GAME OVER.
>RESTORE
>RESTART
>QUIT
>>
>>6114174
>RESTORE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
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>>6114174
Yea okay, that was a little grim, you think to yourself as Oti screeches his warning, but it can’t be that bad, ri-

Your answer comes in the form of an impromptu percussion ensemble that rocks the chamber by its very foundations! The whole place goes up like a dropped match in an invisible fireworks factory–explosions rock your icy raft and unseen flames race around the room like dogs given energy drinks!

Feeling one of said flames scorch a few of your hairs, you drop to your belly and cling for dear life as the gunky golem comes crashing down next to you–three of its eyes ruptured, their contents somehow leaking out of the transparent buds they were housed in!

Shrieking like a little girl on her first roller coaster, you dig your unkempt fingernails into the ice as best as you can, your lower torso and legs flailing behind you like windsocks as a trashy tidal wave sends you off on a wild ride! Chunks of catwalk and pipe pelt you from above–both scrap showers hitting the sewage with worrying ‘hisses’--it’s DEFINITELY heating up in here!

“ANT!” Shouts Tzah-Tzie halfway down the tunnel you entered from, “Still alive!?”

Not for lack of TRYING, you fire back indignantly! Where’s she going anyways!?

“Just… looking for ways to help!” She replies, her voice and Striili strumming growing fainter by the second! “You got this!

Crashing into the brick wall with a bone-shaking CRUNCH, your raft sends you tumbling head over heels towards the churning sea of sludge! Just when your face comes close enough to TASTE the smell, you’re picked up by an unseen force and dropped onto another iceberg!

Are… you can fly now!? You can FLY!

“Guess again, you maniac..” Lowering towards the raft with the grace of a very rattled dandelion spore comes Oti, his segmented eyes even more bugged out than usual. “Try anything like that again and I’ll dissect you myself!”

Hey, you counter as you plant your hands on your hips with an indignant scoff, it worked, didn’t it? Before the Chytree can respond, your answer emerges from the sewage once more–three eyes drained of their glow and definitely creakier than it was before, yes, but still very much functional!

Feeling something big, heavy, and dripping with waste loom high above your heads, you and Oti exchange slightly worried glances.

“If you’re going to be insane, at least warn me first. Let’s get the other three.”

Before you can enact your plan, however, the giant’s palm comes crashing downwards like a filthy meteor!

>Roll me 1d100+2(+1 Spinner’s Song, Oti Support +5, +1 Damaged Droid, -3 Uneven Footing, -2 Dark) to dodge the digits! Best of 3!
>>
>>6114174
I’d been wondering about methane, but for all I knew sewage worked differently here. We also didn’t pick the “nerd” option so c’est la vie.

>RESTART
Maybe we can roll a better character this time? I wouldn’t mind being a Chytree or Demon.
>>
Rolled 36 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>6114176
Damn. Guess we’re stuck with ANTON PEAS a little longer.
>>
Rolled 22 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>6114176
>>
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>6114174
Oh, right. Oops.

>>6114176
Another high roll coming right up!
>>
>>6114180
>>6114181
>>6114184
>>
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>>6114180
Aw c'mon, I know you love the guy! Just look at 'em!

>>6114180
>>6114181
>>6114184
>HIGHEST ROLL: 38!
Welp, time to kill Art! Writing!
>>
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Well shit, I mean… this guy’s got you! His hand’s probably the size of a kitchen and your iceberg is, well… an iceberg. No engines, no paddles… wait, maybe if Oti-

Nope, Oti’s levitating away. Welp, it’s about that time to get crushed, ri-

Physics has a lot to answer for. The construct’s hand connects with you for a brief moment before sending you crashing through the ice and into the, um… the drink.

It’s everything you dreaded and more. With your eyes more or less taking a break ever since you arrived, your other senses, especially taste and smell, are going into overtime. It’s great when you’re trying to keep up with Volka or dodge a giant sewer robot thing, but not so glamorous when you’re taking a header directly into a sea of CRAP!

You puke immediately, of course–that was never an option. A mixture of muddy, syrupy glop meets you face-first, and rather than immediately sink into it, you instead slowly dip below like one of those old-timey explorers falling into quicksand.

You had a few guesses about how you were gonna die, and quickshit definitely wasn’t on the top of the list… but just when you’re ready to throw in the proverbial towel, you feel another chill in the sewage not too far from you!

Another ice raft!

“Stop bobbing and MOVE!” Barks Oti as he sends another salvo of ice at the construct’s remaining eyes!

“Don’t worry, Ant! It washes out!” Adds Tzah-Tzie from above as she strums her instrument with renewed vigor! “I’ll omit this part in the ballad, don’t worry!”

Paddling through the filth like a mudskipper in a septic tank as the construct moves to slam you again, you try your damndest to focus on survival as you feel your hands heat up once again!

>Roll me 1d100-4 (+3 Spinner’s Song, +2 Ice in reach, -2 Dark, -7 SEWAAAAGEEE :C) to get to safety! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 68 - 4 (1d100 - 4)

>>6114223
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>6114223
>>
Rolled 42 - 4 (1d100 - 4)

>>6114223
>>
we are never following TT again
and by the looks of it, we might never follow anyone again
>>
>>6114378
A 64 isn't AWFUL...
>>
>>6114489
>>6114378
Indeed, a 64 is fine! Generally if the roll is over 49 it passes. I'll have to write up the deets when I get home from work because I realize I never really explained anything! Whoops!

Anyways, don't kill TT.... yet!
>>
>>6114255
>>6114310
>>6114320
>HIGHEST ROLL: 64!
Writing!
>>
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Spurred onwards by the growing heat in your heart, you channel every protein bar commercial your fractured mind can remember and clamber onto the ice floe with the speed of a crap-covered torpedo!

Perfect timing, too–despite being three eyes down, the colossus still seems pretty dead-set on killing you. That’s the impression you get as it slams its fist into the muck behind you, at least! Launched skyward on your slippery skiff, you hear Oti and Tzah-Tzie shout out as they watch you fly–the former hurling another wave of ice into the golem’s gob, the latter screaming something about poses as she strums her instrument like a mad… fuzzy… woman thing.

Despite the distractions, it dawns on you that you aren’t having trouble staying atop the iceberg–in fact, you’re practically STUCK to it! You realize why once you attempt to lift your foot–your fresh coat of ‘paint’ acts like an adhesive against the ice, keeping your boots securely attached to the polar platform! You’re definitely gonna have to wash up if you survive this, though…

As the iceberg reaches the apex of its flight, you find yourself at just the right angle and height to deliver another decisive blow to the surly sewer worker! And if some more gas built up, well…

All the better!

>Roll me 1d100+3 (+3 Spinner’s Song, +2 Stable Footing and Angle, +7 Luck??, -2 Dark, , -7 SEWAAAGE!) to flush this fool! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 23 + 3 (1d100 + 3)

>>6114874
>>
Rolled 48 + 3 (1d100 + 3)

>>6114874
>>
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d100 + 3)

>>6114874
>>
>>6114874
Y’know, I don’t like the fact that any time we get a “Luck?” bonus is right after red text. Seems like an indication that we picked up more than just powers when we crossed over.

Can’t think of anything to try and address that IC though so I guess I gotta roll with it.
>>
>>6114902
>>6114912
>>6114965
>HIGHEST ROLL: 51!
Just threaded the needle! Writing!

>>6115407
I mean you haven't confirmed whether or not Anton's a leprechaun yet just saying
>>
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Gathering all the flame you can muster, you cup both hands together and prepare to deal a coup de grace to this dupe… de… grace. Yea!

Before you can let loose, however, you sense something rushing towards your precarious perch from below! Like a crap-covered prizefighter, the construct beats you to the punch with his own poo de grace--an uppercut to end all uppercuts that shatters your iceberg into shaved ice!

Rocketing upwards like a smelly ICBM, you clench your teeth and prepare to meet Mr. Ceiling… but before your face can get shattered like a window too close to the Little League park, salvation appears in the form of a foul-smelling pocket of air…

BOOM!

A single spark from within your hand is all it takes. Tossed away from the ceiling, you find yourself hurtling towards your autonomous assailant with the force of a very squishy bullet! Though the metal menace swipes at you with its unseen arms, your small frame is a bit too speedy to slap! Darting and ducking past the construct’s frantic flailing like a fly on a mission, your optimism is swiftly chucked out the proverbial ‘window’ when you realize where your trajectory is taking you!

Glaring at you with a menacing passiveness only machines and teachers can pull off, the construct seems to lock on to your flying form with its remaining eyes as the others spew magical miasma out of their cracked and still-frosty exteriors! Just when you think it’s got you in its sights, Oti darts by and coats the eyes in another layer of frost! Nice one!

Wait, you think mere seconds before colliding with a non-busted eye, why didn’t he grab y-

Gravity doesn’t have the patience to let you finish that thought, nor does the massive head trauma you sustain upon crashing through the icy eye at terminal velocity! You’re too loopy to realize it at first, but as you struggle to stay afloat in the warm, soupy magical… STUFF you plunged into, you notice you’re SWAYING!

Staggering around the sea of stank like a drunk after closing time, the construct sends what few pipes remain around the chamber tumbling into the drink–the steam in the air almost thick enough to cut a hole in! Yanking yourself free of the magical goop sloshing around inside your funky foe’s eye, you spot Tzah-Tzie and Oti on what you assume is a nearby catwalk and leap over like an action hero in a movie trailer!

Your landing isn’t nearly as graceful–slamming face-first against the damp, warm metal with a dull ‘KLONG!’, you scramble to your feet just as the construct staggers into the center of the chamber… and takes a header straight into the pistons!

How are those still functioning?

“We’ll brainstorm about it later!” Squeaks TT as she scurries down the groaning, swaying, catwalk towards what you presume is an exit, “Time to go!”

She doesn’t have to tell you twice!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6115503
A final burst of steamy pressure launches you down the tunnel as if to flip you one last middle finger… but even as you faceplant onto the brick, you allow yourself a moment to catch your runaway breath…

Despite all odds, you did it! Still practically glowing from the battle and your dip in whatever was sloshing around in the construct’s eyes, you flop onto your back and let a manic laugh loose around the tunnel!

“A messy fight, but a victory nonetheless.” Remarks Oti as you feel something clinging to the back of your head, “I’d prefer it to be the last scrap of the day, however.”

“Oh I HOPE not!” Gushes your favorite Spinner as she hops up and down next to you! “Anton, Anton, ANTON, you attract tales like an old ruuppaa attracts tottas!” She dips down to hug you, but thinks better of it when she gets a whiff of your still-soiled clothes. “I KNEW it was a good idea to tag along! I’ll have enough material to last me a few lifetimes at this rate!”

“If you even last a lifetime…” The mage retorts in the usual acidic tone. “This is the worst detour I’ve ever taken, by the way.”

“Ehhh, everyone’s a critic!”

Grabbing the mysterious object clinging to your head, you feel an almost otherworldly power course through your fingers as you run them over it–smooth, but slightly jagged on one side. Still warm, too… and clean, thank god.

No doubt about it, you think as you shove the item into your pockets, it must be a PIECE OF CONSTRUCT EYE...

“Oh good, I was beginning to think you died.” Observes the Chytree as you stumble to your trembling legs, “Is your head alright? In regards to the collision with the construct, that is.”

Yea, you nod as you limp towards your companions with a goofy smile, you hasn’t never felt better!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6115504
In a rare moment of kindness, or perhaps merely apathy, Oti stares at you for a moment and makes a small chittering noise.

“Stupendous.”

“Ha! That’s putting it lightly!” Laughs Tzah-Tzie as she trots a few steps down the tunnel with a grin on her face! “Assassins, Skog Slavers, a Metal Giant… not bad for someone who hasn’t even gotten to Crossroads yet, ey?”

Yea, you're starting to wonder if you’ll ever get there, you snarl! You nearly died back in that chamber, y’know!

“Well sure, but you didn’t!” The Durher scoffs as she strums her Striili a few times! “What’s adventure without a little danger here and there, hmm?”

You wouldn’t know–you’re the one always caught facing it down while she scampers off!

“Pfft, scampers?” The Spinner snickers with a dismissive ‘pfft’, “I’m just getting a feel for the scene, that’s all! And how about them tunes, hmm?”

“We’re still far below the city, you know,” Observes Oti in a tone normally reserved for someone deciding what type of food to eat for dinner, “No one would ask if we threw her back into that chamber.”

Thanks, you retort, but you’ve got a better idea.

“That’s Anton for ya!” Chirps Tzah-Tzie as she puffs out her chest with pride! “Brave, Resourceful, and oh-so-honorable! He…” It takes a moment for the girl to notice you’re approaching her, but whether she can see your still-dripping arms widening for a hug is hard to tell.

“H-hey…” she stammers as the realization settles in, “Th-that’s okay, Ant, I r-really don’t need a hug right n-now… I… I’m SORRY, okay?! Ant? AnAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!

Splutch!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6115506
Why didn’t he TELL you he could cast that spell, you groan as you run your hand over your newly-dried and pleasant-smelling robe! You were about to take a dip in the nearest well!

PRESTIDIGITATION,” Begins the Chytree in a lecturing tone, “Like all my spells, is extremely valuable.”

“So why use it now, then?” Asks Tzah-Tzie, the girl dried and fresh as daisies, but still rattled by your disgusting punishment, “Oh, I get it! You LIIIIKE us now~”

“Your combined odor was starting to make my eyes sting.” The mage flatly replies as you continue down the tunnel, “Consider it just another one of the countless services I provided for you today.”

All jokes aside, you say with a sigh, thanks for all the help, Ote. He really saved your bacon back there! The Chytree lets out a derisive click.

“Oh it was hardly altruistic. I’ll be invoicing you both for every spell I cast-don’t even think of leaving Crossroads without paying.”

“Pfft, another debt? Add it to the pile!” Shrugs Tzah-Tzie as she nudges you in the hip with her elbow! “And we’ll be rollin’ in the bells the minute I get a chance to really compose! Hells, I might even be able to hit an inn tonight and play a few!”

One step at a time, you retort–step one is speaking to Volka’s dad or whatever about a way home! After that, well… who knows?

“Now that ya’ mention it, there IS another place you might find info about that stuff…” Muses the Spinner as she plucks her Striili a few times. “There’s this MUSEUM, y’see… and it’s got a bunch of people who perform and tell stories about Zoral’s history! It’s really something!”

That does sound neat, you remark, but what’s the catch? Before she can open her mouth, Oti beats her to it!

“The Museum of Mime is located in Umberal,” He explains like a mother telling her daughter why she can’t become a frilled lizard when she grows up, “Which is, if you recall my saying, very far to the North… and very expensive, to boot.”

“Money won’t be an object soon!” The Spinner scoffs! “And so what if it’s far? Who knows where our journey will take us?”

You’re hoping it’ll take you to a ladder soon, you quip as you blink your itchy eyes. If you spend any longer in this sewer you’re gonna lose your sense of smell!

Before you can whine anymore, you feel it–the faint tickle of a breeze on your cheek and the sound of tiny chimes just down the passage! Leading the charge, you stumble up a ramp going perpendicular to your path and kick open a door at the top revealing…

Yep, more darkness. Worth a shot.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6115507
As you cross the threshold, however, you’re immediately treated to something you never thought you’d appreciate:

Conversation. Wagon wheels rattling against stone. Bells being exchanged, cargo being heaved, laughter and wind and LIFE! Holy crap, you’re HERE!

“Get a good whiff,” Announces Tzah-Tzie as she ducks under your legs and out of the sewer, “Because we’ve finally made it, Ant!”

Your nose is treated to a multi-course meal: the smell of livestock and produce fills the air along with smoke from kitchen fires and the rainbow of meals cooking on them: sweet, savory, it’s all there! You’re too busy taking it all in to notice as a caravan nearly flattens you–the driver shouting a gruff ‘GIOURMEWAY!’ as he drives his wagon past!

“Well don’t just stand there, ya’ big tourist~” Snickers TT as she grabs the hem of your robe and tugs you down the rough-patterned street, “Let’s go find your friend before she gets into trouble!”

Before you can go any further, however, you’re both stopped by a pointed cough from Oti. Is he not coming?

“I’ve had more than enough shenanigans for one day, thank you very much…” The Chytree replies in a tone drier than any desert, “But when you’re done sightseeing be sure to call on me. That little flame trick of yours has piqued my interest AND curiosity.”

Right, you nod, you’ll reach out when you can. Oti, as per usual, doesn’t like that response.

“Yes, of course… take all the time in the world!” With a slight bow, the mage departs in the opposite direction leaving you alone with the spunky Spinner…

“Real piece of work, that one…” She remarks as she taps away at her tablet, “But ya’ gotta love mages…”

Yea, you nod, he might have been prickly, but he really came through for you!

“Wha? Oh, yea! Of course!” Nods the Durher as she rummages around in an unseen pocket, “And the guy was absolutely LOADED with potions too! Seriously, ward your pockets! Here, want one? It’s a HEALING POTION, probably!”

What is WRONG with her!?
PASTEBIN UPDATED!
https://pastebin.com/xdk5kHyA
>CONTD.
>>
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>>6115508
Despite your best efforts, and definitely not the best efforts from Tzah-Tzie, you fail to track down Oti and return the potions. The Durher insists he quote, ‘won’t even notice they’re gone’, but given her track record you can’t help but keep an eye out for incoming lightning bolts…

So the road, you begin as you try to keep pace with the spritely Spinner, the roughness is words?

“You betcha!” She replies as you feel the symbols carved into the road beneath you, “It takes a bit of getting used to, but once you know what you’re looking for it becomes pretty easy!”

Before you can inquire further, a long, dull gong rings out across the bustling thoroughfare!

8 O’ CLOCK!” Drones a robotic voice from high above your head, “8 O’ CLOCK!

“Gee, we made good time!” Remarks the Durher as she leads you around a particularly slow Moleg, “Might even get there before Volkie does!”

Was that a clock tower or something, you ask as you struggle to locate the noise’s source in the overwhelming darkness!

“Kinda… it’s the BELLTOWER.” TT explains with a smug grin! “That’s where the GUILD CHAIRMEN and the other TRADE GUILD REPRESENTATIVES meet. Crossroads is a trade town, afterall–someone’s gotta make sure it all works!”

And does it?

“Ehh. No comment.”

Passing a column of people clad in thick, clanking armor, you’re ushered a little faster by your stocky chaperone!

“Almost there…” She explains as she takes you down a street where you can hear the distant gurgle of splashing water, “Aha! It’s gotta be here!”

Passing by what must be the most heavenly-scented bakery you’ve ever had the luck to sniff, you and Tzah-Tzie freeze as you spot a pair of familiar, but somewhat morose-looking yellow eyes towering above a set of older, wearier ones closer to the ground just across the street!

As you move to get closer, you’re tugged back by TT! Before you can ask, you hear some more armor creaking on both sides of Volka!

“The Law don’t care about whose responsibility she is,” Barks one of the armor-wearers, his eyes obscured by what must be a helmet, “The Skog came ta’ the Watch’ouse with a cart fulla’ people… what’zat look like to ye?”

“And I’m telling YOU that she’s my daughter, not a damned monster!” Snarls the grey-eyed coot in front of Volka in a raspy, but determined voice! “Do I need to come down to the Watchhouse and carve it into your damn walls!?”

Things are heating up… but what do?
>Keep watching!
>Back Volka up! She was just trying to help!
>Make a distraction down the street! That’ll get ‘em outta here!
>See if TT can help at all!
>AGGRESS!
>Play the part of a concerned citizen–what’s all the trouble?
>Instigate! Hey, the guards are oppressing her!
>Write-In!

That's it for tonight, you crazy bastards! Seeya tomorrow around the usual time!
>>
>>6115509
>Back Volka up! She was just trying to help!
>>
>>6115509
>Back Volka up! She was just trying to help!
>>
>>6115509
Hell of an update, by the way, QM. I dig all these characters and this weird world.
>>
>>6115509
>Back Volka up! She was just trying to help!
>>
>>6115544
>>6115578
>>6115586
>BACK UP YER GURRRLLL
Writing!

>>6115579
And I dig players like YOU that allow me to throw this autism together! Thanks for the kind words and for playing, anon--couldn't do it without people like you!
>>
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You don’t care who these guys are–you’re not gonna let them grill Volka! Darting across the street, yo-AAAUGH!

CRUNCH!

“Yea uh… I stopped you so you wouldn’t run into that-”

FRuuUiIit CcArt….

“Yea, that…” Mutters TT as she pries you loose from the growing puddle of wood splinters and fruit smoothie on the street. Hearing the commotion, Volka’s dad and the guards put their argument on hold to turn your way!

“Who goes there!?” Barks the guard to Volka’s left as he draws a blade!

“Yea, who goes there!?” Inquires the other!

Rushing over and skidding to a halt in front of them, you jab a finger in what you hope is the guard’s direction! It doesn’t matter who you are, you counter, what matters is that Volka’s only trying to help!

“Anton…” Volka whispers under her breath, eyes still wide in surprise!

“Whatcher talkin’ about, ey?” Asks Left Guard with a hint of bemusement in his tone, “Not that it ain’t none of yer business, but we caught ‘er pretendin’ to ‘turn in’ a criminal!”

“Along wif a wagon fuller people!” Snorts the other guard! “S’like a Moleg sayin’ he don’t like sugar none!”

Yea, well-wait, do Molegs like sugar?

They do, but don’t agree with them!” Hisses Tzah-Tzie as she peers out from your side!

That’s not true, you snarl! And Volka’s, like… the nicest person ever! She’d never willingly enslave anyone!

You hear the Right Guard shift a bit in his armor–his voice adopting a bit of a smug, patronizing tone! “Zat right? An’ how, pray tell, do ye know all that, hm?”

Because you were traveling with her, you counter! She helped you stop Salty Suutz’ wicked plan!

“Whycome you weren’t wif ‘er when she dropped the wagon off, then?” Queries Left Guard!

UHHHHH…!

What do!?
>RUN!
>Stay silent! They’ll think you disappeared!
>I get wagonsick!
>You fell down a hill and got split up!
>Monsters attacked!
>I was worried you guys were gonna make a huge deal!
>Volka, tell ‘em!
>TT, tell ‘em!
>Old Man that I just met, tell ‘em!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6116149
>Because I got shoved out of the wagon when people started waking up! TT had to stay behind with me until I recovered from the concussion.
>Volka had a wagon full of confused people to take care of. It makes sense that we were left behind for a bit.
We probably had a concussion between rolling out of the wagon and getting here. For various reasons that make sense not to elaborate on since our memory would be a little fuzzy about the impact.

They don’t need to know the golem probably gave us a worse one.
>>
>>6116149
Slightly modifying >>6116160 in case no one has woken up yet
>Because I got hit on the head during the fight! TT had to stay behind with me until I recovered from the concussion
>Volka had a wagon full of people to take care of. It makes sense that we were left behind for a bit.
>>
>>6116304
+1, good lie.

>>6116149
>>
>>6116304
>>6116309
>I got hit in the head during the fight!

>>6116160
>I got shoved off the wagon by people waking up!

Looks like battle wounds wins it! Writing!
>>
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Okay, okay, you think to yourself, take a chill pill, Ant… these guys don’t seem like the brightest bulbs in the drawer, that means it’s time to get a little CREATIVE!

Funny you should ask, you reply with a smug grin and a puffed-out chest! The truth is you got smacked in the head during the fight-

“Wot fight?” Interjects Left Guard with a noticeable rise of interest in his tone!

Why, the fight against Salty Suutz’ hired muscle! SKOG muscle! Skuscle!

“Thas’ a good word, it is…” Remarks Right Guard with a creak of his helmet–a nod, you think. Hey, he can keep it!

“So you’re saying you an’ this Skog fought more Skogs?” Scoffs Left Guard with renewed disbelief! “Skogs foightin’! Now that’s the most believable detail so far!”

It’s the truth, you repeat with diminishing patience, and you’ve got plenty of witnesses to back it up! One’s even a wizard!

“Alright, alright…” Groans Left Guard as his counterpart creaks derisively, “So what ‘appened after your little skirmish, ey?”

Well you got conked on the head pretty hard, you explain, offering said head for the guard to poke. He doesn’t. Volka had enough on her plate: the hostages, Salty Suutz… so you opted to stay behind while your pal TT dressed your wounds!

“Thaaaat’s right!” Adds TT as she leaps to center stage with a trill of her instrument! “A sea of blood it was: the gore rising to my ear tips-”

T, you hiss, cool it!

“Errr, I mean…” She stammers as an untuned note springs from her Striili, “Yea, I was his Nurse! It took ages just to get him on his feet again… and his head!” The girl punctuates her diagnosis with a shudder!

“H… his head?” Ask the guards and Volka in perfect unison.

“I’m a doctor, not a poet… Well, I’m both, actually… but let’s just say those Skogs bashed his brains into a SOUP!” She declares! “It’s a wonder he can even stand or speak properly!”

T…

“And don’t get me started on his bodily functions!” Adds the Durher ‘Doc’ with a shake of her head! “Why, he must have soiled himself five times on the way here! Mitaar knows when he’ll do it again, and you know how ill-people smell-”

T!

“Alright, ALRIGHT! “ Sputters Left Guard with renewed urgency in his voice, “You can keep the Skog, jus’ hold it in until we’s outta’ ‘ere!”

Scampering away like a pair of kids getting caught egging a house, the guards leave you with Volka and her… dad?

“I don’t know who you are,” He begins as he stares holes through your face, “But if you even think of poopin’ on my property I’ll pop ya’ in the mouth!”

Damn it, T…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6116886
Just when you’re certain the old Durher is getting ready to smack you with a walking stick, Volka intervenes by sliding between you two!

“Dad, NO!” She exclaims, not realizing that her dad could easily still walk between her legs and still getcha, “Anton’s a friend! And he’s called a ‘Hooman’! A-and he’s from another world! Morook and I found him while we were gathering ingredients! Honest!”

“Hmm… is that right?” You hear the faint sound of something wooden clank against the cobblestone as the old coot’s glare relaxes somewhat. Crisis averted? “Where is that layabout anyways? Howling at the moon again, I’ll bet…”

“Ha! That’s Morook, alright!” Giggles Volka as she too relaxes her stance a bit. “No, he’s… erm…” The mirth fades from her voice as quickly as it arrived. “Did erm… did he not make it back yet?”

“Would I be asking if he did?” Grunts the shopkeep with a shrug of his tiny shoulders. “Didja bring the herbs, at least?”

The Skog’s wide eyes and sheepish grin say all that needs to be said and earn a weary sigh from her father…

“Not to worry, pops!” Stammers Volka with renewed confidence in her pose, “I’ll set out and grab ‘em once we get Anton squared away!”

“It’s fine, sweetheart–Morook probably got sidetracked…” The man grumbles as he hobbles towards what you can only assume is the door to his shop, “Chasing a pack of Jabaar or rolling around in a Kookrah patch… gonna be tracking needles all over the damned shop…” As he tugs the door open with a faint jingle, your nose is instantly met with a festival of smells–none of them pleasant, which is saying something considering where you just came from!

“Well come in… ya’ ain’t a gargoyle, are ya?” Chides the merchant as your nose wrinkles at the stink of medicine and tinctures, “You’re scarin’ away my customers.”

“What customers?” Asks TT in a tone that sounds innocent, but you know her better. The old man responds with a glare that could cut glass which quickly shuts her up. Entering if only to avoid getting punched, you feel an almost soothing sensation work its way through your boots as you step onto a plush mat, you immediately feel at ease at the sound of a crackling fireplace and the faint rattle of bottles on shelves!

“Only touch what yer’ gonna buy,” Warns the shopkeep as he scurries past you and leads your merry band towards the back of the store.

“Do you threaten all your customers?” Inquires Tzah-Tzie as she thumbs one of the nearby bottles with a small ‘klink!

“Not all of ‘em...”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6116887
Deftly lifting a part of an unseen counter and bringing you all down a narrow hallway at the back of the shop, you’d wager the elderly Durher had been doing this for years! As the sound of a roaring fire comes to a head, you nearly stumble over the old coot as he smacks an unseen walking stick against something leathery.

“Go on, siddown.”

Flopping into a comfy, if not somewhat lumpy armchair, you allow yourself a sigh of relief as you sink into its many folds! Tzah-Tzie tries to hop on too, but a long, scaled tail intercepts her!

“You can sit over there.” Instructs Volka as she directs the Spinner to a nearby couch. Taking a seat across from you, the old man takes another appraising look at you before addressing his daughter!

“Volka, dear, would you mind pouring us some tea?”

“Not at all, dad!” The Skog responds, leaping to her feet like a dog hearing the word ‘treat’!

“And be careful with your t-”

The warning is cut short by the rattle of an entire case-worth of glass bottles!

“... tail…”

“Sorry~!”

As your bodyguard goes to fetch some refreshments, your gracious host leans closer from his plush perch with the look of a man struggling to solve a puzzle on his tired face.

“So, Anton,” He begins, “Just what the Hells are you and what are you doing here?”

Well…
>Tell him EVERYTHING!
>Cut to the chase: you wanna go home!
>First off, who is HE?
>TT, educate this guy.
>You’re looking for a devil…
>You wanna learn magic!
>Shouldn’t we wait for the teeeeaaa?
>You really don’t know, honestly.
>Write-In!
>>
>Cut to the chase: you wanna go home!
>First off, who is HE?
>>
>>6116888
>>Cut to the chase: you wanna go home!
>>First off, who is HE?
>You wanna learn magic!
>>
>>6116304
Smarter than mine!

>>6116888
>A human.
>I was summoned here by cultists, I think.
>Cut to the chase: you wanna go home!
>First off, who is HE?
>You wanna learn magic!
Does… does he think we’re trying to date Volka?
>>
>>6116888
>Tell him EVERYTHING!
With Volka and TT here, no way he doesn't learn their weird skewed version of the whole story anyway. might as well give him the ACCURATE accounting.
>>
>>6116916
>Does… does he think we’re trying to date Volka?
Are we not?
I'm not, but she makes a good case for herself. She even seemed to get jealous with TT just now...
>>
>>6116888
>Tell him EVERYTHING!
>>
>>6116920
i like the personality of TT much more, but im bothered by the fact that (if i understand correctly) she is all furry
>>
>>6116920
Not many people would be willing to date a skogess so he should be happy.
>>6117045
Don't like them thieving sorts
>>
We should probably not tell him about the whole FBI thing
>>
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>>6116898
>>6116906
>>6116916
>>6116919
>>6117039
THE TALLY:
>I WANNA GO HOME:5!
>WHO HE? 5!
>MAGIC: 2!
>TELL EVERYTHIIING: 2!

Let's see if I can accommodate here! Writing!

>>6116919
>Weird
>Skewed
Wow anon guess you DON'T want TT to play the official 'Anton Backstory' Ballad, read ya loud and clear bud

>>6117045
>all furry
Who knows? It could be partial tufts! It could be barbs like a tarantula! That's the magic of DARK QUEST

>>6117063
>FBI thing
Let me draw the outcome for ya
>>
>>6117050
>thieving sorts
shes just energetic and has silly "pranks", ok?
>>6117144
>It could be barbs like a tarantula!
great analogy, thanks. kek
>>6117063
absolutely... however, can we have it in our future ballad?
>>
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Abrasive as he’s been in the few minutes you’ve known him, you don’t really see much reason to lie to Volka’s ‘pops’, nor do you wanna get caned. Well, you begin, you’re-

Erm…

T, do you mind?

The Durher stops strumming her Striili with a pinch of annoyance in her big eyes. “Whaaat? I was gonna accompany you! Can’t tell a backstory without music!”

“Does this broad have to be here?” Asks the old man with growing irritation in his already annoyed voice! “She’s one word away from being turned into stone.”

She’s fine, you reply, just uh… T, cool off for a bit, yea?

“Tch… fine…

With that settled, you retell the high points of your quest thus far, taking care to omit your involvement with the, ahem, ‘FBI’, as well as all of the parts that were derivative, contrived, and just generally infantile.

It doesn’t take you very long, but as you explain your situation the old Durher hangs on every word, even after Volka reappears with a tray of tea!

“Aaaaand there you go~” She chirps as she hands her father a cup with a pungent, herbal odor you can’t quite place, “And for the Rookie…”

Your cup smells a bit sweeter–the Skog shoots you a conspiratorial wink as you pick up on it. Taking a sip from the piping-hot mug, you feel something equivalent to a car battery being hooked up to your bloodstream as a flavor somewhere between minty and citrus trickles down your parched throat! You can definitely taste something sweet in there too!

“Hmm… well it’s not the most far-fetched story I’ve ever heard…” Mutters the shopkeep as you dodge Volka’s tail while she turns to give Tzah-Tzie her cup! “That PARCHMENT your summoners had… give it here.”

“Daaaad,” Chides Volka as she gives you an apologetic glance, “At least introduce yourself first! Anton’s new here, remember? Sheesh!”

“I was getting to it, I was getting to it!” He grunts in a dismissive tone as Tzah-Tzie loudly laps up her tea on the couch, “So impatient… well, Anton, my name is Volkir–I take care of the shop and Volka. Now gimme the parchment.”

An irritated sigh escapes Volka’s lips as she stoops down to Volkir’s level and pinches his cheek. “What pops won’t tell you is that he used to be a real powerful mage! And that he’s got one of the biggest libraries this side of Crossroads!”

“And what I won’t tell ya she will…” He grumbles, baring a fang but not slapping Volka’s claw away from his cheek, “I just got tired of the politics, is all. Being a mage is bad for your health in these parts–not that customers are any better...”

So what, he just hates everyone?

“Yep.”

Yea, retail will do that to ya, you reply with a sagely nod.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6117239
So Volkir-

“It’s Volkir!”

Right, right… Can he shed any light on how you got here?

“I was TRYIN’ to, but someone insisted I introduce myself…” Volkir growls, earning a good-natured ‘oh, stop…’ from his daughter as she takes a seat on the ground next to him. “So make with the parchment already–I got a shop to run!”

Yea, you remark as you hand over the BUMPY PARCHMENTS you pilfered from the cultists, is he not worried about shoplifters while we’re back here?

“They know better.”

Hokay, cool… Letting the mage pour over the literature for a moment, you’re taken off-guard when the Durher lets out something between a cough and a bark!

“Dad, are you okay!?” Sputters Volka as she scrambles over to check on Volkir! “Are you hurt!?”

“No, damn it, that was a laugh!” He replies, the worry in his daughter’s expression dissipating immediately. “I can laugh, can’t I?”

“I didn’t know you could…” The Skog replies with genuine awe in her tone! “Wow…”

So what’s so funny anyways, you ask as you sip some more tea. Man, that’s good!

“Well you probably didn’t pick up on it,” Explains the mage as if remembering an old joke, “But these are instructions for a Summoning Ritual.”

You did pick up on it, you counter, but what’s the punchline?

“Lemme put it this way:” Sighs the old man as Volka starts collecting everyone’s mugs, “If the stonehead who wrote this was my apprentice, I’d put ‘em out of their misery right then and there.”

That seems a little… excessive... Volkir responds with a dismissive grunt.

“Being a mage ain’t a picnic here in Zoral, pup–it’s all about merit.” Tapping his walking stick on the floor next to his chair, the old man stretches out in his chair a bit. “And if you ain’t merited enough, someone else is gonna capitalize on that. Get it?”

Not really, you shrug, but okay!

“Hmph… well in any case, this pretty much explains everything.” He concludes as he shakes the parchment in the air. “Can’t imagine what cult this is… looks to be signed by THE CULT OF THE WORM, whoever the Hells they are... but this ritual looks like it was written by a Makkar–it was doomed to go haywire the minute they penned the damn thing.”

“But it did summon a Devil, right, Rook?” Asks Volka as she returns to the room with refills! “You said so yourself!”

“Did they have horns? A tail!?” Asks Tzah-Tzie with renewed interest! “Did you make a pact!?”

Not sure, probably, and NO, you reply! But yea, there was definitely a devil when you escaped the… ritual place! No clue where she ended up, though.

“Eh. Probably dead.” Shrugs the old sorcerer. “Doesn’t matter how powerful you are here in Zoral–if you can’t adapt to the darkness, you die.”

Guess you’re lucky, huh?

“Very.” Volkir retorts.

>CONTD.
>>
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As you all mull over Volkir’s explanation, it’s Tzah-Tzie who breaks the silence! Not that that’s unusual for her…

“So those powers you have…” She begins, tapping away at that little tablet thing you always hear her clacking on, “You think they have anything to do with that devil?”

Another bark/cough escapes the old sorcerer’s mouth!

“I’m fine, damn it! Just laughing!” He explains preemptively! “Leggo!”

“Sorry! Still getting used to it!” Apologizes Volka with a nervous giggle!

“And yea, that sounds about right…” Nods the mage! “I couldn’t tell ya’ the specifics, but that’s a damned lucky outcome if you walked out of a botched summoning with some demonic power!”

Lucky?

“That’s what I said!” He repeats with growing irritation! “You don’t wanna know what kind of outcomes you can get from a botched ritual, pup… the way I see it, you got off easy!”

“What kind of outcomes?” Asks Tzah-Tzie as she leans in with renewed interest in her saucer-sized eyes!

“I just told ya’ you don’t wanna know!” Snarls Volkir! “Pay attention, ya idiot! Or come closer so I can smack some sense inta’ ya!”

The Spinner doesn’t take him up on his offer. So, you continue, any chance he could reverse the ritual and get you back home?

“Short answer: no.”

W-what’s the long answer?

The sorcerer takes a deep, raspy breath. “Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooo.”

Okay, that was needlessly sarcastic.

“Listen, pup: even if I did have time to help you, which I don’t,” Grumbles the wizard as he sips from his tea cup, “You’re basically asking me to take a dart, cover it in Suusa cream, then land a bullseye on a target thousands of miles away! Without melting the cream! During a storm!”

So what he’s saying is, you counter, is that there’s a chance!

“Fine, sure, there’s a chance.” He sighs, no doubt rubbing his temples as he does so. “But do you even know where you came from? Can you even conceive how many planes there are out there to choose from?”

Like… ten?

Volkir stares at you as if you’d just groped his daughter. G-good thing you never did that, r-right!?

“... I might have an idea…” The old man begins in a ‘you win’ tone, “It’s a long shot, but it’s something. But I’ll need a few things to do it.”

“A-HA!” Exclaims Tzah-Tzie, leaping to her feet on the couch! “A quest! What’ll it be? Ancient Jewels!? Enchanted Swords!? The Blood of a Forgotten King!?”

“Nothing that exciting, no.” The Durher replies with dwindling patience, “I need time and money.”

For WHAT?

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6117251
“Let’s just say I still have a few contacts from my maging days…” Volkir replies as he drums his claws on his chair’s armrest. “It won’t be cheap and it won’t happen today, but I can put out a few feelers–see if they’ve figured out anything new about Interplanar Travel.”

Can… can he do a rush order?

“No.”

Shoot. Well uh… how much money would he need?

“Hmmm…. 20,000 BELLS oughta’ start me off.” Muses Volkir, eliciting a sound akin to a rabbit being stabbed from your Spinner pal. Great, you nod! That should be pretty easy to scrounge up, right?

Volka and Tzah-Tzie’s combined silence is deafening. R-right?

“That’s… that’s a lot of money, Ant…” Stammers the Spinner in a tone more suited to a person being held at gunpoint. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that much before…”

Well based on what you know about her, you counter, you’re pretty sure she’s never actually had money. Besides, you shrug, what ever happened to ‘money not being an issue’?

“It won’t be easy, Rook…” Warns Volka as she turns to her father with puppy dog eyes! “D-dad, do we really need that mu-”

“No, I was just kidding,” He replies with a derisive snort! “Of COURSE we need that much! Do you know how difficult it is to reach out to mages of considerable power? They hate everyone! They hate eachother! They hate me! And I hate them!”

Lots of hate among mages, isn’t there?

“You’ll hate them too, trust me!” Replies the old man, no doubt shaking his fist as he does so! “But if anyone knows how to get you home, it’ll be a mage! One that hasn’t retired and isn’t currently trying to run a small business!”

Okay, okay, you reply in a placating tone, he needs money… you’ll get it! Just gotta figure out how…

The sorcerer scowls as he feels your gaze rest upon him. “Nope, I’m already fostering two people and they both eat like Jekkhas! And I ain’t gonna pay you if you’re just gonna give the money to me!”

Can you at least stay here while you make the cash?”

“No. Extraplanar immigrants are bad for business!”

“Daaaaaaad! There you go being PLANIST again!”

“It’s not planist if it’s true, honey.”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6117255
Then how are you supposed to get money, huh? You don’t exactly have a resume!

“Oh that’s easy, Rook!” Volka interjects! “Taverns are always posting job ads for freelancers! Ooh, and the Trade Guild Center hires people too!”

“It’ll certainly allow you to get a feel for this world… you might even run into someone who can help ya.” Remarks Volkir as he continues to drum his claws on the armrest, “Or you’ll die. Either way the problem will take care of itself!”

“Daaaaad!”

“Whaaat? I can’t tell the truth? In my own shop!?”

“But if you really wanna make connections, well…” The Skog begins, eyes lighting up with mirth, “There’s no better way than going on patrol with THE LAMPLIGHTERS!

The name earns a groan from Volka’s father. “Please tell me you didn’t rope him into your little deathwish club, dear…”

“I-It’s not a DEATHWISH CLUB!” Growls Volka as she leaps to her normal, dizzying height! “It’s community outreach at its finest! Ant will LOVE it!”

It’s certainly an option, you nod… T, what do you think?

“I like the tavern idea, honestly.” She replies as she tunes her Striili. “I’m all for public relations, but we can do that and get paid, y’know! And as nice as Volkie’s little militia group sounds-”

“It’s NOT. A. MILITIA!

“... It’s still volunteer work.”

“Well damn, sounds like you’ve got a lot of work to do!” Huffs Volkir as he makes a show of rising from his seat with an exaggerated groan, “Guess that means you’ll be off, then. Don’t break anything on the way out!”

Anything else you wanna ask Volkir? That cane of his means business!

>Tell me about devils!
>Does he need any help?
>What about Morook?
>Tell me more about the darkness!
>Any weird rumors lately?
>Nope, just leave!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6117257
>Tell me about devils!
>Does he need any help?
>What about Morook?
Lets get some side quests, even if they don't pay much we need bells for a roof over our head
>>
>>6117257
>>Does he need any help?
this, so we may not become homeless
>>Write-In!
could we try doing a heist on the south? surely, history wont consider it pillaging if the victims are skog bandits.
>>
>>6117257
>Is there anything right here to detect devils? We’d like to know if it picks up on us due to our “powers”

I’ll support any other questions anons propose, but I’m worried about getting treated like a devil in error. We’re not that bad. Yet. We’ll see what the future holds.
>>
>>6117325
+1
Also:
>Any weird rumors lately?
Good start on sidequesting.

>>6117300
Didn't he already say he wouldn't pay us?
>>
>>6117294
>DEVILS?
>HELP?
>MOROOK?

>>6117300
>HELP?
>HEIST TO THE SOOOOOUUUUTH

>>6117325
>DETECT DEVILS?

>>6117358
>DETECT DEVILS?
>RUMORS?

Looks like we wanna talk about some devils and how to detect 'em. Also if Volgir needs any help! Writing!
>>
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He guessed WRONG, you fire back as you sink deeper into your seat! You’re not done asking questions yet!

“Oh you aren’t, are ya?” As the almost taunting words leave the mage’s lips, your eyes widen in growing horror as Volgir’s glow with otherworldly power! You realized your mistake too late: never underestimate a cranky old man! Covering your face with your hands as the world’s quietest shriek escapes your lips, your certain doom is put on hold thanks to a firm ‘Dad..’ from your Skog Savior!

“Alright, alright…” Grumbles Volgir as the magic dissipates from his dead fish eyes, “It was just a little joke, sweetheart… just ‘Guying Around’.”

So uh, does that mean you can ask him questions?

“You just did.”

Right, cool. So, you begin as you will your body to stop trembling, you wanted to know a little bit more about devils-

“Don’t even think of summonin’ ‘em!” Warns the sorcerer with what you can only assume is a stern wag of his claw! “No matter what they offer or what they promise it’ll always turn around on ya–trust me, I’ve summoned my share of devils. Every one of ‘em went poorly! Nope, don’t summon ‘em!”

Okay, but-

“It’s only natural, of course–when we talk about devils we’re talking about agents of pure chaos: beings born from planes infinitely different from our own!” Continues the mage as he downs the last dregs of tea! “For instance, in Zoral two plus two equals four, but in a demonic plane it might equal six, or blood, or some giant drawing of a beast wielding an oversized mallet! There’s a logic they follow, of course, but there’s always some quirk to it…”

Neat, however-

“Devils aren’t invulnerable, not in the least! And while they’re weak outside of their home plane, even the weakest devil can be immensely powerful!” Volgir lectures like a professor forgetting dismissal time, “Why, THORGOOD THE JUST, one Zoral’s greatest leaders when the provinces weren’t split like a damned jigsaw puzzle, wasn’t just known for his strict adherence to fairness and the law, but also for defeating X’ALEX THE HOOKED, an archfiend summoned by Thorgood’s own vizier! That’s why that canyon to the South is called HOOKED FOLLY! Not that anyone can see the damned thing… and now the Skogs want to change the name too! Nothing’s sacred anymore…”

Well-

“Can only kill ‘em permanently on their home plane, otherwise they can just be summoned back! Much stronger at home, though, and Mitaar help ya’ if they have lesser demons… Truth be told I knew a fella who got married to a devil–still better than his ex-wife was, let me tell ya’, but when she got mad, and that was most of the time, mind you…”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6117551
“So in conclusion,” Sighs Volgir as he polishes off his fifth tea refill, “I never spoke to that sonnovabitch again. So… what were we talking about?”

Erm, you sputter as you stir from halfway to slumbertown, you were gonna ask him if he had anything lying around that can detect devils or, like, demonic energy! Your request is answered by a swipe at your head from the old man’s cane!

“Did you hear a word I said!? Don’t go playing around with devils!”

You heard, you HEARD, you shout just as Volka comes in with more tea and nearly sends it all tumbling to the floor in shock, you just want to see if you read as a devil, that’s all!

“Hmm… yep, you wouldn’t want to run into the Temple Guard…” Mutters Volgir as he takes his cup from Volka, “They’re not exactly known for being tolerant, not that we’ve had many good experiences with devils coming to visit Zoral…”

Rising to his feet, the Durher chugs his tea like a frat boy and scurries off into the shadows like a spider!

“Hey Ant, listen to this:”

Tzah-Tzie gets about two notes in before Volgir returns with something jingling in his paws! Before you can ask what, the mage shoves the device in your face and stares at you as it sings a solitary note that slowly makes your skin itch! OW!

“Hmmm… yep, that’s a reaction alright…” He remarks as he shoves the device into an unseen pocket. What was THAT!?

“An old artifact I won in a game of Joppla against a Temple Guard a few years back.” Replies the sorcerer with a shrug. “Was just gathering dust until ya’ reminded me of it. Anyways, that little gizmo has a remnant of Mitaar’s love in it–devils don’t really like that divine crap, so it makes them itch a bit.” He pauses. “... and burn if it’s pointed at ‘em long enough.”

So wait, you stammer, you’re… you’re a DEVIL!?

“No, idiot, you’ve probably just got some demonic energy from that embarrassment of a ritual!” Corrects Volgir with a dismissive scowl! “Don’t be dramatic!”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6117552
But that energy has to have come from somewhere, right? Won’t people be mad that you uh… borrowed it? The Durher raises a bushy eyebrow in contemplation.

“Yep, probably. Devils don’t like to share, y’know. That’s what I was telling you earlier about that divorce-”

So hypothetically, you begin as you anxiously twiddle your apparently DEMONIC thumbs, what would happen if said devils tracked you down?

“Best case? They’ll probably butcher ya’ on the spot and reclaim the demonic essence right there.”

How?

“Usually they eat people.”

And uh… th-the worst case?

“Well I mentioned devil logic before…” Muses the sorcerer as if remembering a funny story, “If they deemed that your use of their power was a transaction, well… they’d probably lay claim to your immortal soul and feast on it for all eternity.”

Oh… Another barkcough escapes the old man’s lips!

“What are ya’ worried about? Just don’t use any demonic powers and they’ll have nothing on ya’! Seriously though, you’d have to be a complete and utter MORON to use a power so obviously evil and twisted without understanding it! And I mean a TRUE simpleton! Hells, I’m almost embarrassed even suggesting it!”

The silence between you, Tzah-Tzie, and Volka is so thick you could put it between two slices of bread and make a sandwich out of it!

“What?” Frowns Volgir as he taps his cane against the floor! “Quit it with the sour faces already–I told ya’ you’d have to be some kind of paragon of stupidity to do something like that! Relaaaaax!”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6117553
One last question, you begin in a vain attempt to distract yourself from what Volgir just told you, does he, uh, does he have any work that needs doing? Does he want any help?

The old man’s dead eyes narrow at you. “... are you comin’ on to me?”

“Daaaaad!” Groans Volka, more shocked than annoyed, “Anton’s just trying to be helpful!”

“Well I already told him I ain’t paying a cent for anything,” Grumbles the mage as he shifts in his chair! “I’m not that far gone yet! I remember telling him!”

“Yep!” Nods Tzah-Tzie in a sad attempt to butt into the conversation, “You just told him, it’s true!”

The old man ‘s frown deepens. “Told him what?”

Never mind, you groan, look, is there anything he needs? You can even make his bed if he wants!

“Well I DO need to pick up some BOTTLES from ZATE in MARKET PLAZA…” Muses the mage as he scratches an unseen chin.

“There ya’ go!” Exclaims Volka as she nearly knocks over Tzah-Tzie’s couch with her tail! “Quest Accepted! Then you’ll let him sleep on the couch, right, pops?”

“Hells no!” Snarls the Durher as if she’d just offered him crap on a platter! “This is an Apothecary, not a flophouse! And think of the upholstery! Do these ‘Hoo-mahns’ shed? Secrete acid?! Nope, go find a nice barn!”

As your expression sinks a bit, you feel a claw clap on your back that nearly sends you stumbling out of the chair! “Don’t worry, Rook! You can sleep in my room! It’s cramped, but-”

“You know what? Take the couch!” Interjects Volgir with the urgency of someone held at gunpoint! “And don’t worry about the bottles–I’ve been meaning to say my piece to that bastard Zate for a while now-”

“No worries, dad, we’ll still do the errand for ya! Just think of it as LAMPLIGHTER ORIENTATION, Rook!”

“Great, good.” Stammers the old man as he struggles to escape from the plush clutches, or ‘plutches’, of his chair, “Anything else? At this rate it’ll be closing time…”

Well? One more question?
>What about Morook?
>Tell me more about the darkness!
>Any weird rumors lately?
>Tell me about Crossroads!
>Tell me more about YOU!
>Nope, just leave!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6117555
>DARKNESS
IM CURIOUS
>>
>>6117592
+1

>>6117555
>EMBRACE THE DARKNESS (of learning xenohistory)
>>
>>6117555
>Tell me more about the darkness!
>>
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>>6117592
>>6117601
>>6117622
>picrel
Writinggggg
>>
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Just one, you reply as you down the rest of the contents of your teacup with determination on your face, and it’s a doozy!

“I ain’t gonna teach you about the Ziiks and the Poddals, kid.” Groans Volgir as Volka nearly drops the tray of empty cups at the expression with a bashful expression!

You don’t need to know about the Zooks and… whatever the hell he just said, you counter, you wanted to ask him about where all this DARKNESS came from! Surely he has some kind of idea behind it all!

“You’re right, pup, that is a doozy…” Nods the Durher as he once again sinks into his chair, the fire still crackling as he gets comfy. “And don’t call me Shirley.”

Clearing his tea-soaked throat, the old man contemplates the best place to start for a moment before just gunning it: “Well I don’t have to tell ya’ that it wasn’t always like this… I wasn’t around for the change, mind, nor was my father or my father’s father, but my GREAT grandfather, well… he was. Also happened to be an egghead just like me.”

Is that where he got the books Volka mentioned, you ask as you lean forward with interest glowing in your eyes! The sorcerer nods.

“Wasn’t the whole collection, mind–when the world went dark everything and everyone went insane, or so my granddad told me. Skog tribes folding in on eachother, the Mox-Durher Alliance crumbling like old cheese, Molegs and more emerging from the underground… it’s a wonder ANY of the books survived…”

As the old Durher sends a forlorn glance towards the area behind Tzah-Tzie’s couch, you hear the shop creak under a strong gale. This place must be pretty old, then, huh?

“Hah! Older than me, which is saying something.” Scoffs Volgir as he raps his cane against the solid floor! “But where was I… right, the library. With the whole world going dark the books weren’t much use anymore, but my great grandfather got it in his head to memorize as much as he could so he could pass it down to his son.” He shakes his head as the image runs through his mind. “Must have been goddamn torture, but it worked–my grandfather passed the knowledge down to my father, and-”

And he passed it down to him, right?

“Nope, my father was a bona fide sonnovabitch. Hell’s too good for him.” Snarls the Durher with another smack of his cane! “Nearly popped his head like a wart when he got drunk and tried to burn it all. He never was good with magic…”

While Volgir enters a sudden coughing fit, something about the phrase ‘nearly popped his head like a wart’ makes you uneasy… and motivates you to be very, very careful when dealing with Volka in the future…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6117935
“Godsdamn it, look what you did…” Grumbles the old man as he pouts in his chair, “Got me thinking about him again… this is why I don’t entertain guests, y’know–so damned nosy…”

“Dad,” Interrupts Volka in a voice sweeter than honey, “You were talking about the darkness, remember?”

“Right, right, thank you sweetheart…” Volgir nods, the venom instantly fading from his raspy voice! “Well luckily my grandfather started translating many of the stories into Bumot before he passed–Rust Sickness–deadly stuff back then, but nothing a potion can’t cure nowadays… anyways, once things settled down a bit after the light left us, scholars and mages started theorizing… experimenting. At the time people just couldn’t stop dry-humpin’ the damned concept, but no matter how much they dug and tested, they all came to the same conclusion:”

Which was?

“That no one could really figure it out!” Snaps the sorcerer as he jerks upright in his seat! “Hells, even today people can’t decide if it was magical or divine–the world hasn’t frozen over yet and plants still grow, so the sun’s still shining, but look out the window and see for yourself! I could close my eyes and it’d be brighter!”

Does he think it has anything to do with those uh… FOUR LORDS, or w-

You feel an invisible hand clasp over your mouth as the mage’s eyes nearly leap out of their sockets!

“Not another word, especially here, understand!?” He snarls as you feel icy fingers start to pinch your face! Responding with an emphatic nod, you allow yourself a breath as the sensation fades away…

“Dangerous to talk about them in Crossroads…” Warns Volgir as his posture relaxes a little bit. “Sure, they’ve maintained a truce for a while, now, but ask anyone with half a brain and they’ll tell you those four are just waiting for something to tip the balance… and as for your question: I’d say ‘maybe.’”

M-maybe? The wizard nods.

“They’re all sitting pretty high and mighty ever since the light left–not that they liked it when it was here. Schemers and creatures of night, the lot of ‘em...”

He… doesn’t seem to have a very high opinion of them, you remark even though you can already imagine the answer.

“I don’t–let’s leave it at that.” He replies in a tone implying more than his words cared to share.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6117936
So, you huff, already feeling the tea’s effects wear off, any other theories as to what happened? Maybe something to do with Mitaar? A bushy eyebrow rises on Volgir’s face as he glances towards Volka.

“You made him do his homework, ey?”

“Morook and I were worried he’d get in trouble with the Temple Guard…” Explains the girl as she glances at Tzah-Tzie. “Since he’s, y’know…”

“Just avoid throwing fireballs around and eating people’s livestock and you’ll be fine…” Grunts the mage in a dismissive voice. “And sure, if anyone could deal with this situation it’s Mitaar–not sure how gods work in your plane, but ours are pretty active.”

Does he think one of them did this, then? The Durher responds with a noncommittal noise.

“It’s the most likely of the theories, if ya’ ask me,” He shrugs, “There isn’t exactly a short supply of mages here in Zoral, so if it was a magical problem someone would have figured it out by now! Back in my day we weren’t exactly the type of people to sit on our asses and read all the time, I can’t imagine it’s changed much today…”

Why would Mitaar just, y’know, dip out, then? Seems a little petty!

“A lot of the gods are,” Nods Volgir, “But Mitaar doesn’t strike me as one of them. Someone would have to do something VERY nasty to get the god of light to leave… or would have to have the backing of someone or someTHING very powerful to seal them away…”

You furrow your brow. Sealed?

“I’m not an expert on theology, but the concept’s relatively similar to devil banishment.” Replies the mage in a bored tone. “But again, we’re talking about a GOD here, not a wayward pit fiend.”

Could he tell you more about Mitaar? Or their followers?

“Not much… normally I’d tell ya’ to get off your ass and march over to a temple, but your…” He winces as he tries to find the right words, “Condition might prevent that.”

Rubbing his chin in thought, the Durher’s eyes light up as an idea forms! “It’s a few days to the East, but you could always make a pilgrimage to THE TOWER OF DAWN. Before the darkness you could see Mitaar’s light shining from any part of the world! Was like a beacon, back then, or so I’ve heard…”

“Most of the tower’s been closed to the public for a while though…” Muses Tzah-Tzie as she idly plucks at her instrument with a contemplative expression, “What could Mitaar’s followers be doing there, I wonder…”

“It ain’t no conspiracy, damn it–they were just tired of fools climbing the damn thing and falling when they couldn’t see where they were goin’!” Growls the sorcerer! “Not everything’s a prophecy or plot! Buildings crumble when ya’ don’t take care of ‘em!”

Maybe, you respond, wistfully looking skyward for answers you aren’t gonna get, maybe…

“Quit doing that or I’ll bite ya.”

Sorry!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6117937
“Right, that’s it.” Grumbles the old man as he moves to escape his chair yet again, “No more questions, damn it, you’ve made me talk more today than I have in a year! Git!”

“Thanks, pops!” Chirps Volka as her tail thumps on the floor! “Don’t worry, we’ll leave you alone for now!”

“Finally…” He groans, stretching his back with an unsettling crack, “Don’t stay out too late though, y’hear?” Shifting his gaze towards Tzah-Tzie, the mage stares at her as if he were trying to set the girl on fire! “And you–put ‘em back!”

“P-put wha-”

The words barely leave the Spinner’s mouth when she drifts into the air and flips upside down! True to the shopkeep’s word, you hear a few bottles rattle out of her pockets besides the ones she filched from Oti!

Landing softly on the couch, Volka quickly and quietly gathers the potions and shoots a disapproving glance at the buoyant bard before departing to put them back on the shelves! All eyes on her, Tzah-Tzie responds with a nervous laugh!

“Heheh… h-how’d those get there… w-weird…”

“I’ll allow him to stay, but you’d better find yourself somewhere else to bunk, stickyfingers!” Warns Volgir with renewed venom in his tone as he roughly drops her back on the couch! “That’s the only warning you’re gonna get!”

As the Spinner collects herself with a sheepish look on her face, you hear heavy bootsteps as Volka hurries back in with wide eyes!

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Asks Volgir, his voice gentle once again, “You didn’t spill the Ferra Decoction again, did you?”

“We’ve got trouble!” The Skog hisses as she glances towards the front of the store! “Temple Guard! Three of ‘em!”

Freezing in place, you turn towards the shopkeep and find him more irritated than anything. “Damn it all, I knew this’d happen…”

What do we do, you beg as your gaze leaps between the old man and your companions!

“Just let me talk to ‘em,” Grunts the mage as he rises from his seat, “You hide in the library and keep quiet, damn it…”

“But what if they search the place?” Counters TT as she composes herself! “Is there a window or back door we can head through?”

“Ooh, there’s the basement!” Suggests Volka! “It links up to the sewer-”

NOPE

“... or there’s my window, but it might be a bit of a jump…” She adds, raising an eyebrow at your reaction to her first idea.

What’s the plan!?
>Let Volgir talk it out!
>To the basement!
>Out the window!
>Just stand really still and quiet!
>AMBUSH!
>These assholes are gonna keep hounding you–just talk to them!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6117938
>Let Volgir talk it out!
We will listen in on their conversation, we can run at any time
>>
>>6117938
>Let Volgir talk it out!
>>
>>6118020
>>6118060
>Let Volgir do his thing!
Writing!
>>
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You might not remember much about your past, but you know one thing: when a customer comes to complain, kick it to the manager! Okay Volg, you do your thing!

“I wasn’t offering, I was telling,” Grumbles the shopkeep, “But whatever you say… Volka can lead you to the Library–just keep it down and don’t even THINK of touching anything in there!”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice… until you realize who he’s staring daggers at.

“C’mon, I learned my lesson!” Tzah-Tzie replies with a dismissive chuckle!

“Just to be on the safe side…” Volka snatches up the Spinner by the scruff of her neck like a mother cat picking up a wayward kitten! Dubious Durher in hand, the Skog motions for you to follow her into the back room! As you shut the door behind you, your nose is greeted by a curtain of moldy old paper… running your hand over the wall next to you, it’s instead met by rows of hardcover books–their aging leather jackets feeling like the skin of a dinosaur or an elderly elephant under your rough fingers!

Not too far!” Hisses Volka as she ushers you close to her with her tail! Standing like statues in an old crypt, you feel your heartbeat quicken as the sound of clanking armor enters the store!

No doubt made to keep wear and tear at bay, the door to the library is thick–so thick, in fact, that even as you press your ear against it you can only capture snippets of the conversation! Even with the Ring of Echos you can barely hear them! Ripoff!

“... can I do for…” Begins Volgir in what must be the old man’s attempt at a cheerful tone.

“... -king for…” Replies another voice–younger, confident. Clearly belonging to someone who knows they’re a big deal.

“...-can help…” The mage again. The sound of creaking boots trickles through the door crack.

“...no, we will look…”

The Temple Guard’s statement sends an icy finger down your spine as you hear the entourage clank towards where you are! Exchanging a panicked glance with Volka and Tzah-Tzie, neither one dares to give you any advice!

What do!? If you’re found hiding in Volgir’s shop…

>Stay where you are, damn it!
>Search for an exit through the library!
>Give yourself up!
>Try to sneak to Volka’s room and the window!
>Prepare a trap!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6118112
>Stay where you are, damn it!
We’re obviously not a demon, we’re just visiting! We don’t know if they’re actually searching for Rezalith either, if we play it cool they might think nothing of us even if they pop in.

Find a place to sit and have Volka tell us some of her favorite stories in here. TT can lounge around.
>>
>>6118112
>Stay where you are, damn it!
>>
>>6118180
+1, though if Volka would whether tell us stories while we check out her room that's fine too.
>>
>>6118185
Y’know, if we did sneak into Volka’s room and she screamed “dad” while we say something like “what the fuck” if they entered then they might misunderstand the situation and excuse themselves. That could also work.

I’ll stick with my own vote for now, but wacky comedy hijinks can be a backup.
>>
>>6118180
+1, never seen a human before?
>>
>>6118180
>>6118181
>>6118185
>STAY PUT, DAMN IT!

A good choice! Or is it? Let's see!

>Roll me 1d100+5 (+4 TT and Volka, +3 Volgir Interference, +2 Stayed Put, +2 Leather Armor (Sneaky),-5 Divine Detection, -1 Used Powers) for reasons! Best of 3!
>>
>>6118202
Shit don't worry senpai I count you too
>>
Rolled 51 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>6118252
>>
Rolled 84 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>6118252
>>
Rolled 30 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>6118252
>>
>>6118253
Something something democracy dies in the dark and this is DARK QUEST.
>>
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>>6118255
>>6118257
>>6118270
>HIGHEST ROLL: 89!
Niiiice! Gonna save the update for tomorrow around the usual 6pm, gang... was going to do one more update tonight, but things got busy and now it's late on my end. Will make it up to you on Monday, honest!

As a peace offering here's Anton in a Halloween costume! Happy Almost Halloween!

>>6118273
Truly the most oppressive qst on the board...
>>
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You don’t know your new acquaintances very well, it’s true, but the people you’ve met thus far have been pretty trustworthy… with a few exceptions…

“Whaaat?” Hisses Tzah-Tzie as she dangles from Volka’s iron grip like a song-slinging pinata, “What are you staring at?”

… Anyways, you’re sure Volkir and Volka have it all under control. Averting your eyes, you return to your previously scheduled lurking–it’s a small shop, after all! There’s no way they’re gonna search in here!

“Search the Library,” commands the young, confident voice again, eliciting a sound akin to a chew toy being chucked into a meat grinder from your throat! “The signal’s originating from there!”

Springing into action with the combined guile and subtlety of a pack of rats scampering through a mall, you scramble for the nearest bookcase as Volka frantically glances around the room like a lost child at the supermarket before being slapped across the face by TT!

How she managed to reach that high is anyone’s guess, but while you’re settling into your hiding space the Durher is already spinning a plan to the skittish Skog!

“Listen up, Volk,” She begins in a calm, but quick whisper: “It’s my first day, you’re training me to help at the shop! My name is-”

Too late! The door bursts open from the force of a mighty kick delivered by an armored boot belonging to…

… someone smelling like strawberries and… cinnamon?

Leading the way with a blade humming with energy that makes your eyes sting and your skin itch, the interloper’s gentle baby blue and yellow eyes along with his towering stature tell you all you need to know:

The figure that strides through the door is, without a doubt in your Swiss Cheese-esque mind, a Skog… and a goddamn HUNK!

“Oh!” He remarks in a voice reminiscent of a fairy tale prince, “A thousand apologies for the scare, ladies…”

“It’s… it’s okay…” Stammers Volka, tail thumping on the ground and eyes wider than a concert groupie after a trip to the eye doctor!

“M-me too…” Tzah-Tzie mutters, drooling like a dog in a steakhouse!

>CONTD.
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>>6118871
Sheathing his blade, the Temple Guard stows what must have been a detector at his side and gives Volka and TT a deep, deliberate bow! “I must have misplaced my manners–I am LIGHTBRINGER JHAIRO: humble servant of Mitaar…” Turning his attention to Volka, the Temple Guard gives the girl a disarming smile as his cronies join him at his side. “A fellow Skog with a hunger for knowledge… you’re a rare sort of gem, aren’t you?”

“G-gem?!” Sputters the Skog as her eyes grow wider than you’ve ever seen them widen, “Y-yea.. I mean NO! I mean… M-maybe…?”

“And you…” Jhairo purrs as he turns his attention to Tzah-Tzie, “You must be the meister’s daughter!”

“M-me too…”

“Got it backwards, pup,” Snarls Volkir as he rushes over as fast as his cane will take him, “Volka’s my daughter–the other one’s the new backstocker. She’s a bit slow, but she knows her way around potions.” The old coot narrows his eyes at the Temple Guard as he slips between him and the still-catatonic Volka. “Which reminds me: you shouldn’t be kicking down doors in a potion shop–mighta’ caused a chain reaction and sent us all ta’ Hell!”

“Forgive my hastiness, meister,” Jhairo replies with another bow that nearly takes him to the ground, “We had detected demonic resonance and acted rashly–I shall accept full culpability, of course.” Rising to half his massive height, the inquisitor levels one of his eyes towards your hiding spot. “Though do pray tell: why would the signal’s source peak in this musty old library?”

Volkir responds with a dismissive grunt. “Lotta old tomes in here… even a mere mention of a devil in one of ‘em has enough power to set off alarms, but you already knew that.”

“Indeed…” Sighs the Skog as he spares a wistful glance at the rows of books, “A shame I haven’t the time to peruse them all… I trust you won’t get into any… mischief… with them, yes?”

“I’m old and smart enough to know I wouldn’t be old and smart enough if I spent my youth summoning devils…” The Durher replies with a wave of his cane. “You aren’t gonna confiscate them, are ya?”

The Temple Guard responds with a subtle wink. “If these tomes aren’t safe with Volkir the Wise, they aren’t safe anywhere!”

“Don’t much use that name anymore…” Grumbles Volkir the Old as he shepherds the young Templar away from the library, “Now if you’ll excuse me, gents, I have a shop to run, so…”

“Of course, apologies again for the intrusion.” Bowing one last time to the ladies, Jhairo and his men depart for the front of the store. “There is… one thing, meister…”

“I don’t do Temple discounts.”

“No, of course…” The templar’s confident voice droops a bit as they cross the living room. “What do you know about THE PROPHECY OF THE CRIMSON COMET?

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6118874
The air cools as an uncomfortable silence blankets the shop!

“... It’s an old wive’s tale,” Volkir replies after an uneasy pause, “And a lousy one at that. Why the sudden interest?”

“You didn’t see it?” Asks the Skog with genuine confusion in his tone, “At dawn this morning?”

“I was grinding swampweed,” Volkir sighs with growing impatience, “What was it?”

“I hope it was nothing,” Jhairo concludes with a rattled tilt to his voice, “for all our sakes… Mitaar light your way, meister.”

Reclaiming his confidence, the Temple Guard clears his throat to address his men! “Let’s not tarry, brothers–when the audit’s complete we’re to return to the temple.”

“Is it true, Brother?” Asks one of the armored assistants with awe as they clank towards the exit, “Is it a real dev-”

“Loose lips lose light, Brother…” Jhairo sternly interjects! “Let’s move.”

Departing in a symphony of clanks, the Temple Guards leave you trembling like a leaf on a gusty Autumn evening while your two pals of the fairer sex are still busy picking their tongues up off the ground!

“Alright, fun time’s over,” Grunts Volkir as he ushers you out with a few smacks of his cane against the floor, “SOME people have to work for a living…”

When a few taps on Volka’s hip don’t rouse her, you instead make your way over to the doddering Durher and ask him what they meant by a ‘Crimson Comet.’ Another bark/cough rips from his lips and nearly bowls you over!

“Just a stupid prophecy back from when people believed in the damn things…” Snorts Volkir as if remembering a joke! “I’ll give ya’ the short version: a red light arcing through the morning darkness will herald the beginning of the end of the world as we know it’, so sayeth some moss-covered idiot who probably drowned in a tankard of Ruuppaa ages ago.” Sensing concern in your eyes, the old man rouses you with a cane to your shin! “Keep them ears up, pup–it’s nothin’ but harmless superstition!”

Herded out of the library and back into the main storefront by a series of cane smacks, you and your awestruck amigos are prodded out the door and back onto the city street!

“Don’t come back til’ later, yea?” Instructs Volkir from his swiftly-closing door, “And bring some dinner when ya’ do!”

The slammed door makes the chime hanging over it rattle in protest. Well, you huff, that was… an experience.

“Y-yea…” Stammers Volka, the stars still lingering in her eyes, “We uh.. We should do… whatever we were going to do…”

“Me too…”

Goddamn it…

What’s the plan?
Pastebin Updated: Now With To-Do List! Whillikers!!
https://pastebin.com/xdk5kHyA
>Grab a job at a tavern!
>Do that errand for the Innkeep!
>Track down Oti!
>Head to the Guardhouse–check in about Salty!
>Chat with Volka real quick!
>Talk with TT!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6118876
>Do that errand for the Innkeep!
Chad Thunderrex came in and stole our girl before we even decided which girl was ours! That handsome, charming, probably-such-a-considerate-lover son of a bitch!
>>
>>6118876
Whoops, forgot a choice! Apologies, folks, should check in again tomorrow around 6!

EXTRA CHOIIIIIIICE:
>Investigate the Mitaaran Temple!
>>
>>6118876
>Do that errand for the Innkeep!
>>
>>6118903
dont be like that; he wont have our girl (whoever she is)!
because his standards are probably much higher
>>
Fuuuuck, kings, I apologize: I'm gonna keep this open a little longer because I remembered there are MORE OPTIONS:

>Do LAMPLIGHTER SHIT with Volka!
>Grab BOTTLES for Volkir!

Will check back in in a little while, but sorry again--head clearly wasn't working last night. No Halloween Wine to blame this time...
>>
>>6118903
>>6118961
>INN FOR THE ERRANDKEEP!
You were given the world... and yet you held firm to your choices. That takes moxie, gang. Writing!
>>
>>6119315
>>6119289
Lamplighter shit's good, too. And we will do it! We just have a gig already. One thing at a time. I don't know if our boy Mister Peas remembers video games, but it's all too easy to get sucked into a dozen sidequests and forget what you're even supposed to be doing.
>>
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One thing’s for sure: the further you get from that Jhairo guy and the rest of his templar tinheads the better! Jeez, you can still smell him… strawberryish-scented kook…

Right, you begin, clapping your hands together to get the attention of the gals, you’ve got time to burn and a mighty need for some CAPITAL--and since you still feel bad about indirectly getting his tavern burned down, well… you might as well do that favor for the Innkeep!

“Oh yea!” Remarks Volka as her pep slowly returns, “He said we’d drink for free if we helped him, right? Sounds like a worthy cause ta’ me!”

“Me too…” Adds TT! Is she STILL fawning over that creep?! Come on!

“What? No!” She sputters with a derisive snort! “That was a genuine ‘me too’, not a goofy one! I’m barely even thinking about those gorgeous eyes of his anymore! And that chiseled physique hidden beneath his armor…”

“Yea, Rook, we’ve moved on from that deep, smooth-as-syrup voice and cocksure grin!”

Okay, well as long as they’re sure… Taking a few steps away from the shop, you pause when you stub your toe against some kind of mailbox! Ow!

STUBBED TOE COUNTER: 13!

“You okay?” Inquires Volka as she quickly strides over to you like a mother checking on a toddler that just fell off a swing! “He said his guy operated in the DOCKS DISTRICT, yea?”

OBBER’S MILL…” Tzah-Tzie confirms with a nod, “Bit of a shady neighborhood…”

She knows it, you ask, not actually surprised.

“Yea, great place if you like getting mugged!” She replies with a shake of her head and a smile!

“You’ve been mugged there!?” Gasps the Skog in concerned anger! “Oh, sweetie…”

“Err, y-yea! I was mugged!” The Spinner laughs as her tail smacks the wall behind her, “Better be careful!”

“That reminds me, Rook:” Volka ponders, rubbing her unseen chin in thought, “You’ve handled yourself pretty well so far in fights, but do you want a few pointers before we head out? There’s an alley behind the shop if you wanna go over a few things!”

“Orrrrr we could grab some food from that bakery~” Suggests the Spinner with a glimmer in her eye!

It DOES smell pretty damn good, you’ll admit… Can you afford that, though?

The Durher stares at you as if you just asked her to turn into a seal! “Oh right… paying! Yea, I guess we can pay! Much easier!”

Hoo boy. What do?
>Let’s grab some road grub!
>Volka, walk me through the basics!
>Nah, let’s just go while it’s still… sunny? I dunno.
>Write-In!
>>
>>6119340
>Volka, walk me through the basics!
>>
>>6119340
Hmm. Do we try to learn some rogue skills or warrior skills?

I’ll go with rogue. Reverse pickpocketing a fireball is funnier than a muscle wizard.
>Let’s grab some road grub!

The end of the world as they know it could mean the return of light. Our misaimed fireball wasn’t an omen of doom, we swear!
>>
>>6119340
>Volka, walk me through the basics!
>>
>>6119365
>>6119500
>Volka, onegaishimasuuuuuuu

>>6119410
>Tzah-Tzie, teach me your tricks

Writing!
>>
How dare you not post a Twitter notice until a month later.
>>
>>6119791
You cannot control me. But hey, if you fuckers wanna see my Twitter here it is! Sometimes I post other drawings on there that aren't just lazy pieces of crap like my current quest! Check it:
https://x.com/DemBonez3
>>
>>6119340
>Volka, walk me through the basics!
>>
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The bakery smells amazing, it’s a fact, but all those cups of tea have made you a little jittery–you could use a little exercise!

“Great!” The Skog remarks, beaming from tusk to tusk as she leads the way around the side of the shop! “Don’t worry, it won’t hurt… much!”

“Just let me know when you two are done~” Chirps Tzah-Tzie as she trots towards the bakery with a spring in her step! “Don’t wait uuuuup-”

Not this time, Tzah-TzHIEF! Grabbing the girl by what feels like a hood dangling from the back of whatever she’s wearing, you tug her along with you into the back alley!

“H-HEY!” She sputters, voice cracking from being dragged away, “I was j-just gonna ask if they were serving free samples today! That’s alACK!

There’s no world, universe, or dimension in which what she said was true. Besides, you add in a kinder tone, doesn’t she want to get some pointers from Volka? The girl can fight!

“Aww, shucks!” Blushes the battler, “Flattery won’t save you, Rook! Sorry!”

“Pfeh. I can handle myself…” Grumbles the Spinner as you tentatively let go of her hood. “But fine, I’ll just work on my strings…”

You wait a few moments to ensure the Durher isn’t gonna bolt before bowing to your sensei. Okay, teach, you begin, what’s on the menu?

“Well like I said, we’ll start with the basics!” She replies, stretching her arms above her with an unnerving CRUNCH! “You had a rough day with those assassins and Skog Slavers, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that you never know what you’re gonna run into next!”

“Yea, like the SEWER GOLEM!” Replies TT as she gives her instrument a spirited strum! “In foul, dripping tunnels below the dark earth, our hero descended to prove all his worth…”

“Hah! Can you imagine!?” Volka exclaims, letting a low belly laugh loose across the alley! “Anyways, let’s start with a thought exercise:” Without any warning, the Skog stomps over and looms over you with a menacing glimmer in her eyes!

“Oi you! Totta! I’m gonna CRUSH ya’!” Earning a bewildered blink in response, the amazon stoops down and whispers: “What would you do in this situation, Rook?

What do?
>Cut the hamstrings!
>Attack first! Strong and speedy!
>Stay quiet and still! She’ll lose track of you!
>Not if I crush you first!
>You must be mistaken–I’m not a Totta!
>Retreat and attack from a distance!
>Your boot’s untied…
>RUUUUUN!
>SEAR THE MEAT. CRACK THE BONES…
>Write-In!
>>
>>6119830
>Spin her words back on her with the power of INNUENDO. That always works on bullies, right?
>>
>>6119830
>”Now why would an attractive Skog like yourself fancy crushing me?”
>Knee to the groin! Then something something leverage something throwing. You can figure it out!
>>
>>6119793
>You cannot control me.

Don’t be so sure…

>>6119830
>Cut the hamstrings!
>>
>>6119853
Given her height, mor like a headbutt to the groin. In fact....

>>6119830
>Spin her words back on her with the power of INNUENDO. That always works on bullies, right?
>Headbutt to the groin! Then something something leverage something throwing. You can figure it out!
>>
>>6119830
>Retreat and attack from a distance!
>>
>>6119835
>>6119853
>>6119864
>>6119949
>>6119987
THE COUNT:
>INNUENDO: 2!
>FLATTERY: 1!
>KNEE/HEADBUTT THE GROIN: 2!
>HAMSTRINGS: 1
>RETREAT: 1

Looks like INNUENDO and DOING SOMETHING TO THE GROIN win it! Here goes something...

>Roll me 2d100, 1 for the success of the INNUENDO (I'll give BONEus points to the roll if you've got a good write-in for it) and 1 for the GROIN ATTACK! Roll breakdowns are as follows--don't worry about adjusting your rolls. I'll handle that shit!

Roll 1: (+4 Volka Gullible, +2 Unexpected, +??? from GOOD WRITE-IN! -3 Charmed from Jhairo!)
Roll 2: (+3 Good height, +2 Unexpected, -5 Volka's a lady, you morons)

Gonna pick this up tomorrow--feeling a little under the weather so we'll see what happens. Stay healthy, all.
>>
Rolled 19, 73 = 92 (2d100)

>>6120034
I don't got a write-in for this because I'm not a smooth man
>>
Rolled 58, 3 = 61 (2d100)

>>6120034
"What a coincidence, I'm CRUSHING on you, too!"

>-5 Volka's a lady, you morons
Spoken like someone who's never been cunt-punched before. Nor have I, but I've seen it double a chick over. It's not as bad as a ball-shot, but it'll do.
>>
Rolled 41, 21 = 62 (2d100)

>>6120034
The groin is a convenient pivot point, that was my main reasoning. Though like >>6120041 said, it does hurt more than many other places because there’s more nerve clusters in that area.

>INNUENDO
>”A tall, attractive Skog lady who pays attention, takes care of her scales, can hold her own in a fight against a dozen others, and understands the value of strong tail control? She’s moving slow, I’d be crushing on her already!”
Lay on the compliments.
>>
>>6120040
>>6120041
>>6120225
>THE ROLLS:
1st: 58+6 thanks to some decent writing-ins! = 63!
2nd: 73!
That'll do 'er. Writing!
>>6120041
>spoken like someone who's never been cunt-punched before
Someone tries that Mickey Mouse bullshit on me an' I'll kick his assss
>>
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Volka might be a tough cookie, but every cookie has a weakness! Usually being dropped on the floor… or milk!

The metaphor may have escaped you, but your plan hasn’t! Staring your opponent dead in her yellow eyes, you respond to her confidence with some of your own!

What a coincidence, you smirk, you’re CRUSHING on her too!

The words scarcely leave your lips before the Skog pauses to process them–her menacing leer swiftly replaced with a look of utter flummoxitude as your Spinner spectator retches in disgust! “H-huh? Wh-wha-”

YOU’RE BEATEN! Seeing your chance, you rear your head back like a pistol’s hammer and bring it crashing into Volka’s groi-CLOOOOONG!

A plate of dangling armor blocks the headbutt, but as you stumble backwards from the unexpected resistance you realize Volka too is knocked back! Eyes wide in surprise, the girl regains her footing and gives you an approving nod!

“Well WELL, Rook! Didn’t expect a distraction like that–you’re fulla’ surprises!” Her eyes narrow at you as a cheeky grin spreads across her face. “Pretending to ‘like’ me… that’s a low blow, y’know… but all’s fair in a fight, I suppose!”

“Yea, good trick, Ant…” Snickers TT as she plucks at her Striili. “Wonder why ya’ didn’t try that on the Skogs we fought earlier?”

You uh… you panicked, you snap! Shaddap! Anyways, you segue as the buzzing in your head slowly fades away, any notes, teach?

“Yep!” Volka nods with a smile, “That’s a risky move there, Ant! It got me pretty good, but you’ll be in a world’a hurt if it doesn’t pay off…”

Well it’s not like you’re as tall or beefy as she is, you counter–you’ll always be at a disadvantage if you’re going toe-to-toe with someone like her, so…

“Oh no, taking me off-guard was a great idea!” The girl replies in an apologetic tone! “Definitely keep using that noggin–all the good fighters do!” Rubbing her unseen chin, the Skog snaps a claw as an idea comes to mind: “So okay: you knocked me off-guard, but my armor got in the way of the attack! Now the fight’s ON, Rook! Let’s work on how to move!”

Creaking and clanking like a scrap metal sculpture in the wind, your towering trainer stoops lower–still high above you, mind, but you get the picture. “First thing’s first–it’s all about the footwork!”

Oh, you remark with enthusiasm draining from your voice like water from a leaky fish tank, you thought she was gonna teach you, like, sword tricks or something…

“Gotta walk before you can run, Rook~”

Or crouch, in this case…

“HA HA!”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6120276
It’s certainly not the most exciting lesson, but thanks to your tall teacher’s terrific tutelage you find yourself catching on like a fly on a garbage pile!

“Now remember:” Volka instructs as she glides around the alley like a twelve-foot ballerina, “The lower your stance, the steadier ya’ are! Always keep those feet about shoulder-width apart and lead with the foot closest to your destination!”

Yea… YEA, you exclaim as you begin slinking around like a creep, you’re getting it!

“Doesn’t matter how many fancy sword moves you can do,” The Skog continues with a smirk, “If you’re knocked off-balance then you’re as good as gone!”

“Still not very heroic stuff, though…” Grumbles Tzah-Tzie as she glumly glances in the bakery’s direction.

“Can’t be a hero if you’re dead!” Counters Volka with a laugh! “Well… I guess people will still talk about you an’ all, but…”

Question, you interrupt, deftly saving the Skog from confusing herself, how does she move around so quietly when she’s fighting?

“Hah! Crazy, right? What can I say–I’m a big girl!” She remarks, her belly laughter nearly making the potion shop rattle! “It’s a bit tricky at first, but try to only step on the balls or heels of your talons! You’ll have an easier time of it than me!”

You had a feeling it was something like that! Leading your steps with those parts of your feet, a smile forms on your face as you realize how much sneakier you’ve gotten! Not bad!

“SEE?” Snickers the Skog as her tail thumps the ground! “This ole’ scalehead knows a thing or two~”

“Does she know when we’re gonna be dooooone?” Groans Tzah-Tzie as she kicks her heels against her apparently wooden perch! “I fear this flower is wilting...”

Oh good, she’s being dramatic again. She said she was into dancing–what’s not to like about footwork?

“A lot, apparently…” The Durher retorts with a derisive ‘tch’! “C’mon, let’s at least make things interestiiing!”

How?

“Let’s make a little bet!” Chirps TT, the energy swiftly returning to her voice! “First person to land a hit on the other gets… gets a meal with their favorite Spinner~”

She has a problem–she knows that, right? She’s just trying to goad you into robbing the bakery again, isn’t she?

“Actually, my favorite Spinner’s Lutza...” Mutters Volka with a hint of an apology in her voice.

LUTZA!?” Snarls your favorite(?) Spinner as if you’d just chucked a turd into her coffee, “Derivative! Droll! SLOP!

Sensing the Skog hit a nerve, you decide to:
New Skill: Footwork! +1 to Defensive Rolls! Permanent! Yow!
>Do the bet! But you aren’t robbing a bakery, damn it!
>Hit the Docks District!
>Inquire further about Lutza!
>Have Volka teach you one more thing!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6120278
>Hit the Docks District!
>>
>>6120278
>Hit the Docks District!
>>
>>6120284
>>6120289
>DOCK DISTRIK
Let's go! Writing!
>>
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Seeing Tzah-Tzie’s sudden mood swing inspires you to act. You know exactly what’ll make her feel better!

The Durher’s anger disappears as her eyes twinkle with excitement and delight! “Y-you mean…”

It’s only after a few minutes of walking that she realizes you don’t mean. You’re gonna need a mountain of capital to find a way back home, and you’re gonna earn it the right way, damn it! And by that you mean doing fantasy world sidequests, not a legit job!

Salty air paired with the scent of ripe seafood heralds your arrival in the DOCKS DISTRICT: a hotbed of activity and commerce, from the sound of things. Led by Volka and followed by a moody Tzah-Tzie, you stick to the main road as the jungle of dockworkers around you work their collective ‘magic’.

“Did a bit of dockwork myself once, if ya’ can believe it!” Begins Volka with pride in her voice! “If I had a bell for every time I mixed up some cargo… whoof…”

How the hell are you supposed to even SAIL here anyways? How do you park the boat!?

“Very carefully.” The Skog replies with a conspiratorial wink! “Really though: it’s a pretty complex system of whistles and chimes just getting the stuff off the ships! Ya’ gotta have some real tusks to sail, that’s for sure!”

“And a strong stomach…” Adds TT with a little ‘bleh’ for good measure! “I’ll take land travel any day, thanks!”

Well we aren’t shipping out just yet, you reply with a reassuring smile! Just gotta deliver that metal to this Obber guy and we’re all set!

“We’ll have to travel back to the Inn when it’s done, though.” The Spinner reminds you as a pair of Moleg stride by carrying something smelling like a sedan-sized shrimp! “And we just got into the city, too…”

“We can take Morook along once he gets back!” Volka chirps! “He doesn’t really drink after last time, but-oh, looks like it’s down this way!”

Leading you down a path near the water, you sense the walls of massive buildings around you as you hear the waves lap against the creaking docks! Warehouses, huh?

The rough walkway culminates in front of a door–the size of the doorframe you smack your nose into suggesting it’s used for customer traffic more than anything else. Pushing it open sends a loud, almost duck-like ‘HONK’ into the yawning abyss that is the warehouse–the interior blanketed in the scent of fermentation and pickles!

“Ello?!” Shouts Volka, cupping both claws around her mouth for extra volume! “Obber!?”

“Comin!” Grunts a voice from deeper within! True to his word, a pair of quick, but heavy feet scuttle out from the depths of the cargo jungle and meet you at what you guess is some kind of counter–their owner smiling at you with a pair of turquoise, and very human, eyes!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6120434
“Welcome, friends–Name’s Obber! Here ta’ pick up or place an’ order?” A quiet laugh escapes out the side of Obber’s mouth. “‘Fraid tastings are done for the day… at least until closing time, that is!”

“Ooh…”

We’re here to deliver this, you explain, passing Obber the INNKEEPER’S METAL as Volka drools at your side, it’s from the guy that owns the FAR THROW INN?

“Ah, INNGO!” Obber nods, eyes wide in recognition, “He certainly is early this month… what happened–did he finally get some customers? Hah!”

“The opposite, actually!” Replies TT with a grin! “Place got burned down by assassins, but Anton here scared ‘em off! Wanna hear a song about it?”

“Nope!” Smiles Obber as he turns back towards you! “So he wants a FULL shipment, ey? Hmm…” Glancing back at what can only be rows upon rows of product, the warehouse warden drums an unseen finger on the counter. “Ordinarily I’d be able to help him out, but…”

You lean in closer. Buuut?

“This stuff in the back’s all spoken for!” Explains Obber with an apologetic shrug! “I have some kegs on backup, but my scheckt guy usually doesn’t deliver until later in the month!”

What’s a scheckt? Is he a scheckt?

“You’re a funny guy, y’know that?” He chortles! “I’m a Gnok, same as you! Weird-smellin’ plumage ya’ got though, brother… anyways, scheckt’s the stuff that seals the kegs and the current coating is running a little dry, so…”

It only takes you and your pals about a minute or so after Obber’s voice trails off that you realize he wants you to do something for him. Oh, you nod, yea, you can talk to the guy for him! No prob!

“Say, that’s swell!” The Gnok nods with renewed kindness in his eyes! “You’ll find him at the end of Dock 33–they do all the mashing onsite-just follow the smell.”

“Leave it to us, sir!” Volka exclaims, giving him a salute! “Oh yea–what’s this scheckt-seller’s name anyways?”

“Obber!” Replies Obber! “And I know what you’re thinking–it’s a bit of a common name around here, is all. Dock 33’s pretty small though, you’ll find him! Anything else I can getcha before you go?”

>Nope! Back in a bit!
>Any problems around the docks lately?
>Where does he get his Ruuppaa from?
>Any chance we can sample some merch?
>You’re helping him out a lot–any chance he can sweeten the deal?
>Tell me–err, tell my friends about us Gnoks!
>Write-In!
>>
Last update of the day, folks--got like zero sleep last night and feel like garbage, hence the cruddy update that took like four hours to write. I'll jump back on the horse tomorrow though, honest! Until then thanks for playing and seeya in the next one!
>>
>>6120436
>Tell me–err, tell my friends about us Gnoks!
>>
>>6120278
>thanks to your tall teacher’s terrific tutelag
kek, nice one

>>6120438
Doesn't seem cruddy at all, but rest well.

>>6120436
>Tell me–err, tell my friends about us Gnoks!
Good cover identity.
>>
>>6120436
>Tell me–err, tell my friends about us Gnoks!
Ez pz.

>>6120438
Take your time! Quests are never fun if the QM isn’t having fun.
>>
>>6120545
>>6120586
>>6120591
>Educate these FREAKS about us Gnoks!
Writing!

>>6120586
>Thanks! Got a bit more sleep today so already feeling much spicier.

>>6120591
>Quests are never fun if the QM isn't having fun
I don't do this for FUN I do it to break the ancient curse
>>
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Yea, you nod as an idea wafts into your mind like a wayward fart, your friends here don’t know much about Gnoks–mind educating ‘em a bit?

Obber raises an eyebrow in confusion. “What, you can’t manage that yourself?”

N-no, you totally can, you counter, but you just wanted them to get, y’know, a different perspective! Like a second opinion!

Something about your choice of words elicits a twinkle in the Gnok’s eye. “Ohhh, I getcha! Well gee, where do I even begin? Kinda strange that a Skog and Durher can’t put a few facts together about Gnoks–y’all from around here?”

“Yep!” Nods Volka beaming with pride, “Anton here’s actually a hu-”

UUUUUUUGE fan of Gnok culture, you interject, vainly attempting to reach up and shut the amazon’s mouth and instead deeming to flick her hip instead! Yep, can’t get enough!

“Nice ta’ see a fellow patriot!” Obber nods with approval! “Well you probably know about all of our technical achievements–Bumot, Singing Stones, not that ya’ see many of those around the Docks… yep, chances are if it’s an invention, Gnoks made it happen!

“What about the Mox and Durhers, hm?” Asks Tzah-Tzie, suddenly interested in the conversation!

“Yes, yes, they helped brainstorm…” The Gnok replies with a dismissive wave. “There’s also the misconception that the more feather plumage a Gnok has, the more potent their magical ability–but that’s all malarky if ya’ ask me!” Poking at what you assume are said feathers on his head, Obber shoots you a conspiratorial glance! “It’s actually HORN LENGTH that does it! That’s why I don’t taper ‘em any more! Pain in the ass to get through doors sometimes, but it’s a small price to pay!”

Totally, you nod, you… that happens all the time to you! RRrgh! So frustrating, ha ha.

“You get it!” Obber chortles, slapping a hand on the counter! “Let’s see, what else… oh right–everyone always thinks there’s just one kind of Gnok, but that couldn’t be further from the truth!”

“Oh, I know this one!” Squeaks Tzah-Tzie as she climbs onto the counter and takes a seat! “There are three-”

“Yep, all you other races are so darn ignorant…” Sighs the stockhouse sultan, “There are three subgroups of Gnok–each one from a different part of the world and with their own unique history: the Balzer, Vaan-Mok, and the Hiin!”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6120751
Precisely, you agree, there are totally three groups, mhm! And what’s the scoop on each of them? As a TEST, of course!

“Well we all know the Balzer hoard all the money…” Frowns Obber, “They run all the industry to the North, more or less, no conspiracy there, nope… the Vaan-Mok and the Hiin historically lived in the South, but if there’s one thing Vaan-Mok and Hiin can agree on, it’s that they hate each other… those settlements were long gone before Mikk moved in.”

And uh, why’d they start fighting again?

“Because it’s in their nature, if ya’ ask me!” Obber explains as if giving a college lecture! “People give me flack about it all the time, but I’ve read the literature–did you know that Vaan-Mok and Hiin neighborhoods here in Crossroads are TWO times more violent than Balzer ones? Granted, that’s nothing compared to Skog areas, but-”

A-and which subgroup is he a part of, you interject, a bead of sweat trickling down your face as you hear Volka’s tail slam the ground hard enough to make the wood groan!

“Oh, I consider myself a ‘Citizen of the World’, really.” Replies Obber with some sort of pride in his tone! “What about you, friend?”

You’re uh… a World Citizen too, you stammer! Yep, just trying to get along…

Obber’s friendly gaze suddenly turns deathly serious. “... you sayin’ we should all get along, friend?”

Well uh, yea, you nod, strength in unity, right?

Obber's stare slowly brightens as an idea takes root in his eyes! “Hey… yea… strength in unity… That’s good. That’s a good idea…”

As the warehouse worker silently ponders to himself and your friends grow more uncomfortable by the second, is there anything else you wanna ask?

>Nope! Back in a bit!
>Any problems around the docks lately?
>Where does he get his Ruuppaa from?
>Any chance we can sample some merch?
>Wait a sec... Know anything about a 'Cult of the Worm'?
>You’re helping him out a lot–any chance he can sweeten the deal?
>Write-In!
>>
>>6120755
>Wait a sec... Know anything about a 'Cult of the Worm'?
If we want bells we know who to work for I guess, the long noses
>>
>>6120755
>Wait a sec... Know anything about a 'Cult of the Worm'?
We ran into them on the way over and they weren’t real talkative.

>Strength in Unity
And thus we… planted the idea of unions into the head of a dock supervisor? That won’t have long-term ramifications, I’m sure.
>>
>>6120786
>>6120869
>CULTSSSS?
Writing!

>>6120869
>Nah dude it'll be fine just trust
>>
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There is, actually! Obber seems like someone who’s in touch with what goes on in the Docks… has he heard anything about a ‘CULT OF THE WORM?

Roused from his thoughts, the Gnok raises an eyebrow your way. “Eh? Cults? Not really–Temple Guard’s been cracking down on those for as long as I can remember. Why?”

Well, you begin, not keen on telling him how most of the gear you’re currently wearing came from a beheaded Gnok, you just heard about it and thought ‘you know what? Obber seems like someone who’s in touch with what goes on in the Docks’. Like, you thought that verbatim!

Obber's eye twitches a bit as your words sink in. “So what, just cuz’ I’m a Gnok you thought you’d ask me about Cults? Is that it!?

Well… yea.

“Sorry, friend–haven’t heard anything about it!” Shrugs the warehouse worker, the anger swiftly draining from his demeanor! “Can’t imagine that’d be good for business, though–Cults have this nasty habit of trying to upset the status quo… or end the world.”

“Not that those are mutually exclusive!” Agrees Tzah-Tzie as she stands up and balances on the counter!

“Ha! Ya’ ain’t wrong! Now get the Hells off my counter or I’ll break your leg.”

“You got it~”

“If you wanna track down cults, though, I’d check taverns and alchemy shops,” Obber suggests with a click of his sharp teeth, “Easy to hide in plain sight when everyone’s drinking and cults are always shopping for ritual components. That’s my analysis, anyways!”
It’s hardly a lead, but it’s better than what you started with! As you go to ask Obber something else, you’re interrupted by a violent bubbling from deeper in the warehouse!

“Hells! Gotta check on that, friend, but once you get that Scheckt I can work on that order!”

As the Gnok slinks back into the maze of shelving behind the counter, Volka instinctively grabs TT and ferries her to the exit, though not without the usual amount of protesting!

Dock 33 awaits… and so does this other Obber!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6120917
It’s the smell that leads you to the right warehouse this time. Feeling the damp, salty wood creak beneath your boots, the smell of low tide is overpowered by something between tar and burnt sugar… and as you and your pals rush to locate the source, you find it along with a growing crowd!

“I said STEP BACK!” Roars a guard clad in clanking armor! “We ain’t peelin’ anyone out of the muck, so stand clear!”

“But what about my MERCH!?” Groans a distraught-sounding Chytree! “If it seeps into my furs, I’ll-”

“We gotsta’ load up fifty crates by the end of da’ hour!” Snarls a dockworker flanked by a few cronies! “Is yaz’ gonna clean dis’ up or jus’ tell people ta’ stay away?”

“We’ve already called for assistance,” Replies a smaller guard–probably a Durher, “So just be patient--the Bellcounters have this under control provided everyone remains calm!”

“Uh-oh…” Groans Volka as she places Tzah-Tzie down next to you like a piece of luggage, “Don’t look now, Rook, but I think we’ve found our Scheck dealer…”

She can say THAT again, you gag, your nostrils practically folding in on themselves from the acrid smell!

“Don’t look now-”

It’s an expression, Volk. So, you huff, now what? How long will this take?

“Not that I don’t appreciate what they do,” Begins the Skog in a thoughtful tone, “But this miiiight take a while…”

“Unless we take a shortcuuuuut~

Yea, not doing that again, you retort as you give the Spinner a hard stare! Although…

Your thoughts are cut short as a shrill shout rings out from within the ooze factory followed by something akin to a half-empty ketchup bottle being stomped on!

“Get back!”

The words make it halfway out of the guard’s mouth before the dock quakes with a fresh dollop of the foul-smelling fluid! There’s gotta be SOMETHING you can do, you remark as you listen to the water lap at the docks amidst the growing chaos around you!

What’s the plan?
>Come back later!
>Speak to the guards!
>Look for a high route into the factory thing!
>There’s water… maybe you could swim inside?
>Is this stuff flammable?
>Write-In!
>>
>>6120919
>NOBODY is better at cleaning up TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, FOUL-SMELLING MESSES than YOU! Offer your services!
>>
>>6120922
+1
>>
>>6120882
Well with assurances as rock-solid as that, I will!

>>6120919
>>6120922
Supporting. Have you seen the unholy abominations that fast food equipment can birth when supplied with grease? Some of it is even edible!

Oh, and our sense of smell probably isn’t entirely back yet. Mentally, if not physically. After the sewers it’s once bitten, twice shy.
>>
>>6120922
>>6120929
>>6120954
>I'LL TAKE THE CASE!
Writing!
>>
>>6120786
Long HORNS, anon.

>>6120869
Or pan-gnokism. That could also be a complication.

>>6120954
God luck.

>>6120919
>NOBODY is better at cleaning up TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, FOUL-SMELLING MESSES than YOU! Offer your services!
>>
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The idea comes to you almost immediately–so much so that you nearly take a header into the sticky sludge as you stroll over to the guards with the bravado of a quarterback after prom night! Don’t worry, you bark, voice positively DRIPPING with confidence, NOBODY is better at cleaning up TERRIBLE, HORRIB-

When you regain consciousness, your ears are ringing like church bells and the inside of your head feels like someone’s doing a drum solo!

“-was just offering to’ help!”

“And I was givin' em’ my answer!” Counters the guard engaging in the mother of all staring contests with Volka!

“Smacking him with a SHIELD?!

“You wanna taste too, Skogwench? Come an’ taste it!”

Stumbling to your feet, you take your position between Volka and the guards and nearly trip over TT who, based on the vacant smile on her face, is more interested in potential bloodshed than any actual resolution to the situation!

Look, you begin anew, making damn sure to stay out of what you hope is the guard’s shield-bashing range, you clean up messes like this all the time where you work! He should let you take a look!

The guard shifts his gaze towards you with a menacing clank! “What are ye, some kind of maid?”

No, you scoff, you aren’t a JANITOR--you’re a PROBLEM-SOLVER!

“AAaand the newest member of the LAMPLIGHTERS!” Adds Volka in a tone gushing with pride! You get the sense the guard’s about to say something inflammatory, but pauses when you start to feel something warm, stinky, and syrupy pooling around your boots!

“You know what? Go ahead!” Snorts the guard as he and his partner step out of the way of the oozing tide, “Hells, you fix this mess an’ ya’ might just get a few bells out of it… if you do it right, mind.”

Woah, no way! You would’ve done it for free!

“Fine, do it for free!” Shrugs the guard as TT writhes in visible pain! “Main door to the factory’s stuck tight, but I’m sure you ‘Lamplighters’ can crack the case! HA!”

“Damn right we can!” Volka retorts, puffing her chest out with pride! “Alright, Rook, what’s the plan?”

You didn’t get that far yet, you admit, but if you had to choose…

>Ask the guards for more advice!
>Pop open the front door!
>Look for a high route into the factory thing!
>Maybe there’s a back entrance?
>There’s water… maybe you could swim inside?
>TT, find a way to sneak in! I bet there's MONEY inside!
>Volka, any chance you can bust in?
>Is this stuff flammable?
>Write-In!
>>
>>6121099
>Look for a high route into the factory thing!
Volka toss us up
>>
>>6121099
>Maybe there’s a back entrance?'
He said main door! That implies more than one.
>>
>>6121078
>God luck.

Fucking autocorrect. >>6120954 "Good logic."

>>6121099
>TT, find a way to sneak in! I bet there's MONEY inside!

>>6121107
How would that even work? We can't really SEE.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>6121107
>THROW ME!

>>6121181
>TRY FOR A BACK DOOR!

>>6121189
>TT, DO SOMETHING USEFUL

I knew you dingalings would make me roll for this--knew it the minute I got up this morning! Okay, let's entrust your FATE to RANDOR THE DESTRUCTOR!

1 = Volka Throw
2 = Search for the back
3 = TT does something helpful

Here goeesss
>>
>>6121415
Back door it is! Let's see some rolls...
>Roll me 1d100 (+4 Volka and TT helping, +1 Guard mentioned a front entrance? -2 Dark, -3 Sticky!) to find a route inside via the back! Best of 3!

>>6121189
>How would that even work? We can't really SEE.
This should be the tagline on my next OP image
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>6121416
Don't worry we are a pro at rear entry, just look at these rolls
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>6121416
Rollin’.
>>
>>6121416
Still waiting on one more roll--feel free to roll again if you've done so already! Update will most likely occur early on Sunday!
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>6121416
>Additional roll unlocked! Remaining uses: 1
>Additional roll used! Remaining uses: 0
>>
>>6121420
>>6121462
>>6121909
Well, it's at least a pass!
>>
>>6121420
>>6121462
>>6121909
>HIGHEST ROLL: 56!
Aw shiiiit we got there, Dark Dorks. Writing!
>>
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For a moment you consider having the Skog fling you onto the roof, but that plan dies pretty quickly. Reliable as she’s been, you have no idea what you’d do if she flung you off-course…

Die, probably.

Moreover, even if she did get you up there, you’d be… well, you’d be on the roof. Being what you can only assume is some kind of factory/warehouse thingie you could probably find a way in, sure, but you’re just as likely to break your neck or get carried away by some yet unseen freaky pterodactyl thing!

You’re about to ask Volka and TT if they do indeed have freaky pterodactyl things here in Zoral, but reconsider when the two of them continue to bore holes into your face with eager eyes! There’s gotta be a simpler way…

Your answer comes in the form of a moment of silence–a break in the crashing tide, the passerby complaining, and the guards and dockworkers stomping around in an attempt to control the chaos.

Bobbing amidst the goo like a raft in a storm is a cargo crate–you never would have noticed it without your Ring of Echoes! Chancing a few steps into the Scheckt, you manage to rip your bootsoles free and climb onto the crate, a confident grin forming on your face as you realize it no longer jostles when you’re on top!

“Careful, Rook!” Warns Volka as she makes a move to follow, but wisely reconsiders, “That stuff’s strong enough ta’ rip scales off!”

Tzah-Tzie, on the other hand, is nowhere near as big as Volka, nor is she keen on staying behind when there’s a story to be gained! Hopping onto the crate next to you like a cat jumping onto the counter, the Durher sniffs around while you try to locate your next platform!

“There!” She announces, her eyes pointing towards the faint sound of wood creaking, “I’ll go first!”

The jury’s still out on what you think Durhers look like in the light, but if Tzah-Tzie’s natural guile tells you anything it’s that they might be giant sugar gliders. Or wererats. Or people with cat ears like in those Japanese comics you just remember you read.

Man, you miss your Japanese comics. In any case, you follow the girl’s hops to the letter and make your way around the factory to the sound of Volka’s enthusiastic, albeit somewhat distracting, cheers!

As you reach the back end of the factory, your daring pays off… somewhat. Landing on another piece of cargo with a wet SPLUNCH, it dawns on you that you’re getting closer to the source of the sticky snag–while the Scheckt leaking onto the docks was nasty, the stuff leaking out of the back of the factory is positively MOLTEN!

Hissing and steaming like piping-hot pitch, it flows like magma out from what you can only assume is a back loading bay. Cupping your ear to locate your next platform, the vague outlines provided by the Ring of Echos are SHREDDED by a shrill scream from deeper within!

“Don’t just BOB there! DO something!”

OW!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6122172
Ears ringing, you follow the shriek to its source and spot a pair of large, yellow globes hidden away near the back corner of the factory–their owner seemingly clinging to a wall with how high up they are! Do WHAT, you bark back!

“Activate the DRAINAGE SYSTEM!” They snap, casting their gaze towards the opposite corner! “The locator chime’s covered in Scheckt and I can’t get to it from here, but you can! Chop chop!”

Wait, you frown, are they Obber?

“Yes, the pleasure’s all mine, I’m sure!” Grunts Obber as he struggles to maintain his perch!

Can… can he give you some Scheckt? Obber was requesting it. The warehouse worker shoots you a withering glare.

“I’m a touch BUSY at the moment, but we can discuss that once we aren’t at risk of boiling alive!”

Okay, neat. Turning to discuss the game plan with TT, you feel your old friend anxiety start to well up in your belly as she gives you an encouraging nod! “Weeeeelll? Go get it, hero! I can help from here!”

Gee, thanks… what do?
>Take the direct path! Quicker, sure, but there’s a lot of goo flowing there…
>Hug the walls! Slower, but safer!
>Try to find a way to open the front door!
>Get TT to do it! She’s… catlike!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6122173
>Take the direct path! Quicker, sure, but there’s a lot of goo flowing there…
If we don't move fast, we could lose or ruin ALL the Schnekt! And fire's our friend, right?
>>
>>6122173
>Take the direct path! Quicker, sure, but there’s a lot of goo flowing there…
>>
>>6122173
>Take the direct path! Quicker, sure, but there’s a lot of goo flowing there…
>Also tell Obber to talk in a normal voice, our hearing is turned up to listen for platforms so shouting could make us stumble.
The problem will only get worse the longer we take. That may outweigh the benefit of going slow, and that’s good enough to pretend we’re a blue hedgehog.
>>
>>6122180
>>6122190
>>6122217
>DIRECT!

>>6122217
>AND TELL OBBER TO SHUSH
Good call, anon! Good C-A-L-L! Would have added his yammering as a roll malus!

Roll me 1d100-1 (+1 Footwork, +2 TT Helps! +2 Shaddap Obber, -2 Dark, -2 Hasty, -2 Fast-Flowing!) to get to the shutoff! Best o' 3!
>>
Rolled 95 - 1 (1d100 - 1)

>>6122237
>>
Rolled 45 - 1 (1d100 - 1)

>>6122237
>>6122242
Well it looks like we have got this, we have had to navigate a lot of safety hazards in our previous job
>>
Rolled 11 - 1 (1d100 - 1)

>>6122237
Let’s see if those safety posters made a difference.
>>
>>6122255
Can't be OSHA compliant if you can't read the posters!
>>
>>6122242
>>6122250
>>6122255
>HIGHEST ROLL: 94!
Wowza! We're WRITING, folks

>>6122255
>>6122257
>Can't call it a workplace accident if you can't see how and to who it happened!
>>
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Surveying the scene with a disapproving huff, you turn to TT and shake your head–no time to waste… It’s just like your manager Lars always says: ‘Work faster, not safer!

“Wow,” Remarks the girl with sympathy creeping into her perpetually-chipper expression and voice, “Does… does he really say that?”

DOES he?! Why are you remembering this now? Also crap, that’s… that’s bad! Y-yea, you nod, unsure if these are your memories or just your brain’s attempt at caulking the cracks, you think so… the Spinner raises an eyebrow at your response.

“... where do you work, again?”

The uh, the FBI, you mutter under your breath, but you’ll talk to her about it later…

HUUURRRYYYYY!” Cries Obber as the sea of stickiness grows with every moment you ponder, “The fate of my BUSINESS is at stake!”

What about people’s lives, you bark back!

“You’re right–my life is probably in danger too!”

Sheesh… taking a deep breath, you try your damndest to plot out a rapidly-sinking route using your Ring of Echos! Here goes something!

“CAREFUL!” Obber helpfully adds, nearly sending you tumbling face-first into the UBER tar, “Those boxes are expensive…”

You’ll BE careful, you snarl, just… just be quiet until you take care of things, okay!?

The warehouse worker makes it about two seconds before his big trap opens again. “... what if you die? Can I scream then?”

“If he dies I’ll ensure all of his belongings and assets are donated to starving, needy Durhers!” Chirps your ‘favorite’ Spinner as she sends a wink your way! Swell…

The first jump goes about as well as you might expect–someone must have left a drink on the corner of the crate, because as you leap through the darkness like a cat in an attic you stumble over a glass bottle! Spinning your arms like windmills to avoid toppling into the syrupy slough, you spot another, hopefully safer crate and use your momentum to leap to that instead!

As your would-be killer sinks into the muck with a final ‘SPLITCH’, your sudden landing on the next crate sends it skidding like a banana peel! Thankfully your face stops the wild ride by smacking into a cluster of dripping pipes, and as your head rings like a gong you manage to cling onto the offenders and monkey-bar your way over the glue lagoon below!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6122376
“THAT’S-err, that’s it…” Hisses Obber, barely catching himself as he watches you like a fisheyed hawk, “It should be in that corner…

You follow his gaze and frown when both your ring and the guy who presumably WORKS HERE fail to help you locate the drainage system. IT could be anywhere for all you know–it’s like finding a needle in… in a TAR stack!

That’s when you spot it–a momentary shift in the scheckt reveals a small bump… a button, maybe! If you could just chuck something at it… maybe THROWING something designed to be thrown… something you have a lot of… wait a second!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The scream comes not from Obber, but your fuzzy friend–eyes wider than ever at the faint jangle in your hand, the girl nearly drops her Striili as she hops up and down like a madwoman!

DON’T WASTE THE BELLS, ANT! NOT THE BELLLLLSSS!

Well what else are you supposed to use?! You haven’t checked that dumb pastebin in ages and all you have is some armor and some thr-ohh…

>Roll me 1d100-3 (+3 Spinner’s Song, -2 Dark, -2 Hanging Around, -2 Small Target) to hit the switch… and FAST! Best of 3 rolls! HURRY!
>>
Rolled 38 + 3 (1d100 + 3)

>>6122377
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d1 + 1)

>>6122405
> +
ugh, let me test what ive done wrong
>>
>>6122407
Good thing that was a test, friendo! And if you wanna do a minus you put in the following:

dice+1d100+-2

Weird, I know. By the by, folks: NAT 1's and NAT 100's are CRITFAILS and CRITSUCCESSES! Just a warning/reminder!
>>
>>6122412
>dice+1d100+-2
oh, of course, how logical. good thing this is not mentioned in the sticky, that would have been a waste of characters!
thanks
>>6122412
>NAT 1's
with a 1d1 tho, 1 would be a nat fail AND nat success too, no? like completing the task at hand in the most epic capacity imaginable, a feat to be remembered in millennia old legends, but then dying from a heart attack directly afterwards.
>>
Rolled 98 - 3 (1d100 - 3)

>>6122377
I was really worried until I saw the number of sides on that nat 1.
>>
>>6122421
Shit, you're right... I guess that's a crit Faiccess...

Nah really though waiting on one more roll!
>>
Rolled 88 - 3 (1d100 - 3)

>>6122437
I saw a 1 and thought we fucked up
>>
>>6122405
>>6122422
>>6122468
>HIGHEST ROLL: 95!
Writiiiiiiiiing!

>>6122468
You thought WRONG, bucko.
Okay I thought it was a legit roll too
>>
Your eyes narrow and your tongue sticks out as you retrieve one of the MANY THROWING KNIVES you have tucked away in the dagger flophouse that is your LEATHER ARMOR--the process taking a little longer than you would like since you have to dig beneath your ROBE to do so!

With your pointy object procured, you quickly calculate the wind speed, humidity, and the weight of the knife and just how hard you’ll have to toss it to hit your target…

… okay, not really, but you definitely give it some thought before hucking it at the button! Your first throw goes wide, of course, and as it sinks into the goop like a mammoth into a tarpit you’re already lining up the winning throw!

And as that one sinks into the goop like a mammoth into a tarpit you’re already lining u-

And as THAT-

Dang it!

“Hurry, Ant!” Warns TT which totally helps, “Obber can’t shut up for much longer!”

A quick glance behind you confirms the Durher’s words–the warehouse worker’s eyes bulge to worrying width as more and more scheckt oozes out of the factory… and tomorrow THE WORLD!

With one more impassioned throw, you send another knife sailing through the darkness like a bird on a soft, prairie wind–the blade twirling as if carried by Lady Fortune herself and finally hitting the bu-

Son of a-!

Where accuracy fails you, quantity succeeds: chucking a handful of throwing knives at the target rewards you with the sound of a MASSIVE grate creaking open beneath you! Watching Tzah-Tzie scramble like a squirrel onto a nearby wall, your blood turns to ice as your perch and the factory as a whole are both shaken by their very foundations!

A baleful moan heralds the arrival of a MASSIVE, WRITHING BEAST from the depths below–even unseen its presence awakens a primal fear hidden away in the darkest recesses of your fractured mind! A grim, inarguable reminder that man has not filled in every map, has not delved to the deepest depths… and where light flickers in vain desperation, shadow and the unseen horrors that lurk beneath their veil can NOT be extinguished-

“Oh look, it’s eating the scheckt!”

The Spinner’s cheerful words rouse you from your quaking contemplation just in time to listen to the horrible beast slurp up the scalding syrup like a toddler at Flapjack House!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6122573
Your fear subsides at a glacial pace as the abomination laps up the remaining dregs like an eldritch tabby cat… your limbs paralyzed and looped around the pipes long after the beast departs through the hole it emerged from! Wh-what, you stammer, tripping over every syllable as you rattle against the pipes like an old-timey alarm clock, was th-that…

“Oh him?” Smirks Obber as he clambers down to the damp, sticky, but no longer flooded warehouse floor, “That’s Bitzer–he’s the Plant Manager. If I had a bell every time he pulled me outta’ the fire, hoo…”

Clearing a very wet and phlegmy throat and spitting its contents onto the freshly-cleaned floor, the warehouse worker’s brusque demeanor returns like it never left! “So you want some scheckt, do ya?”

Y-yea, you nod, falling off the pipes and landing on your face like a kid taking a spill at a playground, Obber needed some for his barrels, or something?

The current Obber blinks his bulbous eyes in confusion. “What, the SUGAR Obber? What the Hells would he need scheckt for? I can’t make scheckt without sugar!”

Wait, there’s another Obber?

“The Ruuppaa-making Obber!” Replies Tzah-Tzie as she tries her best to help you to your feet!

“Ohhhh,” Nods the scheckt seller, “Well now THAT makes more sense! I just sold him some, though! You’re telling me he needs MORE?”

It’s a rush order, you explain as you struggle to detach your slightly-scheckty hand from your cheek, for an Innkeeper! His tavern was attacked by assassins!

Obber rolls his bowling ball-sized eyes. “Good grief… always with the assassins…

Hey, you interject, it’s the truth!

“I never said it wasn’t!” The warehouse worker fires back! “It’s all you hear about these days–assassins this, assassins that… I’m clearly in the wrong business if there’s so many people needing killing!”

Yea, it’s a real stumper, you nod, ultimately deciding to abandon your hand extraction efforts, so can he give Obber some scheckt, please?

“Sure I can!” Nods Obber, “Once I get some replacement SCHECKT SUGAR, that is!”

A fresh stinging in your eyes heralds the approach of tears as you push for clarification. Wait, you mutter, he needs something too?

“Take a whiff, boy!” Obber replies as his stocky eyes sweep across the desolate factory, “How’my supposed to make more scheckt without my sugar? Just run down to DOCK 118 and ask for Obber–he’ll have the stuff I need!”

“Don’t worry, Ant,” Tzah-Tzie begins, patting your non-stuck arm with a reassuring coo, “This just means we have more material! For ballaaaaaads~ That’s plural, by the way-”

COMIN’ THROUGH!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6122575
Just when things were starting to settle down, a familiar Skog kicks the front door into splinters and scampers over to you and Tzah-Tzie like a dog unleashed at a dog park! “Oh thank the gods–I was worried you’d suffocated!”

“Heheh, we’re okay, Volkie!” Smiles Tzah-Tzie as she gives the warrior gal a toothy grin! “Nice of ya’ to worry, though!”

“Oh uh… y-yea, I was worried… about both of you… yep…”

“You’re paying for that door, by the way.” Grunts Obber. “You know what to do, so hurry it up–I’ve got an insurance policy to cash.”

Wait, you frown, what caused the disaster anyways?

“Unless a building inspector miraculously arrives, it’s looking like ‘faulty machinery’,” Obber explains with a cheeky wink! “Which just so happens to be covered! Ain’t that great?”

Anything else you wanna ask this guy before you head out?
>What are you anyways?
>Do you know anything about Cults?
>Tell me more about uh… Bitzer…
>How do I unstick my hand from my face?
>Volka, how’s the situation outside?
>Nope, that’s all!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6122576
Hey, I recognize that pictorial reference...

>Volka, how’s the situation outside?
>Any chance we can still get some money out of this?
>>
>>6122576
>How do I unstick my hand from my face?
>Volka, how’s the situation outside?
>>
>>6122591
>>6122779
>Situation?
>Money?
>Hannnnddd
Fuck it, let's do 'em all! Writing!

>>6122591
>pictorial reference
it's true, I am a hack. I wave my banner from the shoulders of giants
>>
>>6123062
>hackery
Nah, I was just surprised I could recognize the meme from a slightly modified mouth and a sound effect placement. Good work!
>>
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With the situation more or less ‘handled’ inside, you turn your attention to the newest member of the ‘inside the factory’ gang! Volka, you begin, status report!

“I’m a bit hungry, but feeling chipper!”

No, you meant outside… glad to hear she’s doing well, though!

“Oh, right!” The Skog blushes before clearing her throat and trying again, “Well the flow’s stopped, erm… flowing, and the cleaners the guards called finally showed up, so I decided to check on you!”

“Pfft, right on time…” Grunts Obber as he meanders around inspecting the machines, “Course, we all know who did the heavy lifting, don’t we?” He adds with a wink!

Well, you chuckle, you had some hel-

“Wha? I was talking about Bitzer!” Growls the fisheyed foreman! “I don’t see YOU slurping up any scheckt! What, my product ain’t good enough for ya?”

Is uh… is it edible? Obber leans in to appraise you with his enormous eyes. “... well anything’s edible, but for a Gnok? Erm… well you wouldn’t feel most of the effects until your later years…”

You rest your case! Speaking of, you segue, you did help him out quite a bit back there…

The warehouse warden’s eyes narrow at you, yet somehow still remain REALLY big! Wow! “... what are you getting at?”

“What my client is getting at,” Tzah-Tzie begins, sliding between the two of you with speed and guile that’d make any self-respecting ambulance chaser proud, “Is that we risked our lives saving your factory… surely some form of compensation is owed-”

“I’ll give Obber my finest scheckt once you grab the sugar from Obber,” Grunts Obber, “I wager that’s a fairer transaction than most.”

“Yea, you’re probably ri-”

Volka’s kindness is skillfully cut off as your Spinner makes a show of hemming and hawing at the offer! “Hmm… true, true! Say, how much is this place insured for, again?”

“More than you can afford…” The warehouse worker replies with a wary look in his eye, “Why?”

“It’s probably nothing…” The Durher shrugs with a toothy grin, “But given how hard it was for Ant here to activate the drainage system, well… the safety chimes and other systems just seem to be running a little lax, is all… like someone hasn’t been taking care of them!”

The Spinner’s words sink into Obber’s brainmeat and explode like a cluster of depth charges, prompting his frown to deepen even further!

“... you wouldn’t!”

“You’re right–it’d be such a hassle for us three to make statements to the inspectors!” Groans Tzah-Tzie, “And I saw a lot of upset people outside–hey, do you think they’d want to talk too-”

“Name your price, damn it….” Obber hisses through clenched, serrated teeth, “Damnable Durhers…”

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6123097
Turning to you with a wink, TT takes her place at your side as Volka watches with growing discomfort on her face…

What’s yer’ offer?
>100 Bells! Just a little!
>300 Bells! Not too high, not too low!
>500 Bells! Will he go for it?
>1000 Bells! It’s a long shot…
>Never mind! TT’s just joking!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6123098
>300 Bells! Not too high, not too low!
>>
>>6123098
>TT, you got this!
Look, if we’re going to have an agent then we gotta let them work their magic. The agent comes to us with the final offer they can negotiate since we’re not getting a better deal than they are. In theory. They’re supposed to be good at negotiating, after all.

We may need to fire her for underperformance if she under-delivers, of course. She’ll also skim some of the money, but I’d tell her she’s allowed to take a commission fee as long as we’re happy by the end.

>Take Volka aside and see if there’s anything else we can do to help outside.
This is a distraction while TT works, but I’m sure we can find something worthwhile to do.
>>
>>6123145
Actually, yeah, that sounds alright. Let's do that.

>>6123098
Changing my vote from >>6123102, though I'd tell TT to shoot for that.
>>
>>6123145
+1
We have zero knowledge of the currency, let TT be the one to extort him
>>
>>6123145
>>6123156
>>6123158
>TT, Fleece 'em!
>Volka, let's help outside!
WRRRRRRRIIIIIITIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNG! Swell Write-Ins, by the way, folks. I'm proud
>>
>>6123216
Such a shame I wasn’t around early enough to contribute much in BONES QUEST and I missed SLICE QUEST. Write-ins in your quests are fun!
>>
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Struggling to come up with a number after Tzah-Tzie’s award-winning hustle, you glance at Volka’s discomforted face and sigh. T, you instruct, earning a fox-like grin from the devious Durher, she’s got this!

“Well if you insist~” She purrs, batting her eyelashes at you before she scoots over to Obber, “So, big guy, let’s start with the important question: what’s more important: a few measly bells, or your livelihood-”

As the Spinner works her magic, you tap Volka on the hip, rousing her from a particularly deep thought.

“Huh?! Wha!?” She sputters, her tail nearly slapping you in half! “Oh, Rook… what’s up?”

Wanna see if we can help outside? For a moment the Skog starts to reconsider, but something in your expression earns a nod from the tusked tomboy! “Y-yea! Let’s do it!”

You let the amazon lead the way through the Volka-shaped hole where the door once was and allow yourself a breath of the fresh, albeit slightly smelly sea air! Tickled by the warm, salty mist, you watch as Volka makes a beeline for the nearest dockworker!

“Ho there, sir!” She chirps, “Need some help cleaning up?”

“Beat it, tusks,” Snarls the six-eyed stevedore as a few of his fellow dockmen add their own glares to the pile, “This is honest work.”

“Yea! YEEAA!” Sneers a stockier, fish-eyed dockworker like the toadie of some bully in an afterschool special! “Honest woiiiik!”

As the gang departs laughing all the way, Volka watches them go like a tusked statue–her tail thumping to a halt on the dock. Their loss, you remark as you stroll over with a forced smile, those guys are gonna be in Splinter CITY with all that wood they’re carrying! Also, ‘carrying wood’? Hah!

“Yea… splinters… heheh…” It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell your joke didn’t hit its mark, and as you sift through the admittedly small library of good jokes in your head, she’s the one to break the silence!

“Ant,” Volka begins quietly as she lowers herself down onto a crate, the poor thing groaning under the weight, “I know it's dumb to ask, but... but is everyone in your world as nice as you are?”

Whoof, how do you even BEGIN to respond to that?
>Of course!
>I’m not very nice, Volka…
>It’s mixed...
>Nah, everyone SUCKS.
>What does it mean to be TRULY nice?
>Don’t answer! Be mysterious!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6123249
>”Uh, I’m pretty average.”
>”There’s only humans where I come from, so our racism is about where you’re born or what color you are. You’d find the latter pretty weird, I know.”
>”I’m sorry I don’t have a better answer for you, Volka. I know it hurts.”
Should be enough to let her start venting. We could probably withstand the crushing/bawling hug that could come with it.
>>
>>6123256
+1, good write-in. Though we're also justifiably racist towards those fucking MERMAID assholes.

>>6123249
>>
>>6123266
Don't worry, there aren't any mermaids in Dark Quest! :)
>>
>>6123274
They lost the last war of extermination, I take it?

I didn’t mind the mermaids, but we’re all safer without them.
>>
>>6123256
>>6123266
>I'm average
>Humans are kinda jerks
>Sorry, Volk

We WRITIN

>>6123278
:^)
>>
>>6123249
>I'm going to be honest with you, Volka.
>Humans are a mixed bag.
>But if I can say one thing with absolute certainty, it's that Humans are degenerates.
>You wouldn't believe what's out there on the internet, Volka. There's a lot of messed up people back on Earth.
>A lot of good ones too, but I'm just saying. We're kind of freaky on average.
>Just don't talk to anyone that introduces themself as a "furry". They're the worst ones of all.
>>
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The question hits you like a Skog’s tail. Not just the suddenness of it–you’re slowly getting used to surprises–but also because as much as you’d like to tell the girl that yea, you come from a magical place where everyone’s nice to each other, it’s just, well…

You’d just rather not lie to the big, friendly gal.

Look, you sigh, gathering your words like a toppled house of cards, as far as humans go, we’re nothing special–we treat people differently based on where they’re from and the color of their skin… and that’s putting it mildly.

The Skog cocks her head to the side as the waves continue to crash around the dock below your feet. It sucks, you sigh, and maybe there is some world out there where everyone treats people nicely and equally, but it isn’t where you’re from, that’s for sure!

“Well,” The amazon remarks, “You’re still pretty ni-”

You’re pretty average in the kindness department, and that was even before you arrived here!

“Oh c’mon, Rook!” Counters Volka with an encouraging glint in her eyes, “You’re-”

No, she can come on, you interrupt! You’ve definitely helped a few old ladies across the street in your time, but you’ve definitely been a jerk too!

The Skog shrinks back a bit in thought. “... you’re talking about the Skog by the river, huh?”

Well no, you frown, that was… didn’t she-

Before you can finish, you feel a heavy, scaled talon pat your head. “Anton,” Volka sighs, “I know I said Lamplighters don’t kill–and I know it was scary watching him keep crawling even after I lopped his legs off-”

Right, you stammer, but-

“You had a choice there, Rook: kill or be killed.” She adds, a wave of warmth washing over you from her reassuring smile, “But making a choice there doesn’t make you a bad person, okay?”

Volka, you continue, that was-

“As long as you draw breath, life’s always gonna have a second chance for ya,” The Skog adds, hope slowly returning to her eyes as she gives your head another pat, “It sounds dumb, I know, but… but it’s what I believe.”

With that she rises back to her dizzying height with renewed pep on her face! “Easy to forget sometimes, though… thanks for reelin’ me back in, Rook! I’d promote ya’ if that wasn’t abuse of power!”

You open your mouth to continue the discussion, but pause as Volka’s tail gleefully smacks against a nearby crate. Yea, you nod, she’s welcome…

“Gee, you FBI guys know how to cheer someone up, don’tcha?”

Yyyyea, well…

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6123361
With Volka reassured, or at the very least distracted for the time-being, the two of you are interrupted by a triumphant laugh from within the factory! Turning to face the source, your eyes are met with a very smug Tzah-Tzie prancing out of Volka’s new door like a prize pony!

“Much obliged, Mr. Obber~” She coos, turning mid-step to curtsey at the clearly unhappy warehouse worker lingering where the door once was! “And don’t worry–we’ll have that sugar for you before you know it!”

The surly stevedore says something under his breath in response–you don’t quite catch it, but you doubt it was something nice. As you attempt to wave goodbye, you swiftly remember two important details: first, he probably can’t see your hand. Second, it’s still stuck to your CHEEK! AIIIIEEEE!

Stumbling over like you just crapped your pants, you skid to a halt in front of Obber as he warily stares you down!

“What ELSE do you want from me, eh? My coveralls? My kids?!”

Not really, you reply with an apologetic smile, but you did have one more question: does he know how to unstick a scheckt’d hand from a cheek?

“Course I do! Come’ere!”

You’re not sure if it qualifies with Obber being some kind of fish-faced thing, but if you were unclear on the definition of the word ‘manhandled’ before, well… you definitely just learned the meaning!

A scaly, spiny, squishy appendage wraps around your stuck hand like a damp Gummi Snake and YANKS it free like it owes him money! Pulling away with an unsettling tearing noise, your hand flops to your side as you feel the salty air take root in what is most definitely a raw, exposed chunk of your cheek flesh!

“Next time wear gloves, greenhorn.” Obber warns as your eyelids fight a losing battle against an invading army of tears! “Now hit the road–I got some lazy factory workers ta’ round up.”

If he still had a door he’d probably slam it in your face, but as things are the factory fiend just sorta plods away leaving you to nurse your wound.

“Huh! Never woulda’ guessed that was the way to do it!” Remarks Volka as she saunters up next to you and inspects the damage! “You’re a tough cookie, Rook!”

“And it was aaaallll worth it!” Boasts TT as she slinks over with a mischievous glimmer in her eyes! “Guess who scored you an early payday, Mr. Anton?”

Gimme the good news, you respond as you nurse your sore cheek. Rummaging around in her pockets, the girl makes a show of juggling a handful of BELLS on her claw–each one making a cheerful ‘JING-JING!’ as it sails into the air!

“Before you ask: you’re now the proud owner of 350 BELLS!” The Durher announces with a wink! “These are the Fifty Jing bells, y’know!”

Bwuh-HUUUUH?!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6123363
She ain’t wrong–seven of the bells tumble into your outstretched hand before the girl strides away and lets out a triumphant sigh! “Ahhh, making money! No better feeling in the world~”

You’re not gonna lie, you remark as you stuff the bells into the safety and comfort of your boxers, she did GOOD!

“Ehehe~yeeesss, yeeeeess! Praise me!”

Okay, chill.

“And how much was your, uh… ‘commission’, ey?” Inquires Volka in the tone of a mother who just caught her kid’s hand in the cookie jar! TT’s enthusiasm abruptly fades like a sink being turned off!

“Wh-whaaaa? C-commission? C’mon, I don’t need stuff like that when I’ve got Anton the Undying here spinning stories out of straw…”

Forget it, Volk, you groan, she’ll have to shake the Spinner around to get a solid answer and you’ve got a job to finish! At the sound of the word job, Volka straightens up her posture and nods! “Right you are, Rook! Let’s put this one to rest!”

What did Obber say again? DOCK 13? Your answer earns a spirited giggle from the Spinner to your right!

“Hah! You wish!” She snickers, strumming her Strilii with a spritely stride, “DOCK 118, silly! Gee, good thing you have me around to remember all this stuff, huh?”

Yea, she just keeps paying for herself, you snort! That’s gonna be a walk, isn’t it?

“Yyyyyup!”

Super.

PASTEBIN UPDATED!
https://pastebin.com/xdk5kHyA

What do while you head over?
>Talk to TT!
>Speak to the Skog!
>Try to come up with a sweet song to whistle!
>Kick the rock!
>Practice your Ring of Echos!
>See if you can make your hands glow!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6123365
FUCK, the image is wrong! Whatever, that's it for tonight, folks--gonna pick this up again at the usual time around 6pm Mountain Time! Talk then!

>>6123336
The time traveler strikes again! Love ya, buddy
>>
>>6123365
>Talk to TT!
Have you ever told a lie and felt bad about it? Specifically, the second part. The first part is obvious. If so, how did she, uh, walk it back and tell the truth?
>>
>>6123365
>>6123379
Supporting. It’s almost like a character arc is forming!

>>6123369
I was about to ask how that could be until I saw one bell looked different. Which one is that by the way, a 20?

And at least we haven’t been sent to Slaughterhouse 5 yet…
>>
>>6123509
>Supporting. It’s almost like a character arc is forming!
why do you fags want to make everyone honest and boring, and call it a character arch?
>>
>>6123519
Don't worry, anon, we'll find another way to grope TT. As a conwoman, she'd have never fallen for the FBI routine anyway.
>>
>>6123379
>>6123509
>Hey TT have you ever told a lie and felt bad about it? How'd you go about telling the truth? HINT HINT

Writing!

>>6123519
>Implying they can cure the Wretched Spinner

>>6123509
It was a proto-50 that I fucking FORGOT about! It wasn't the Halloween Wine this time, guys, I swear!

>>6123559
She's not a CONwoman, okay? She's a Spinner!
>>
And a long walk it is--call it wishful thinking, but when TT reminded you you’d be heading to Dock 118, well… you kinda hoped it wasn’t actually going to be that many docks away! That’s a LOT of docks!

Not that you expect an answer, but just when you’re contemplating asking Volka to carry you again you instead turn your attention to your stocky Spinner. Hey T, you begin, bracing for the masterclass in bullshittery you’re about to receive, have you ever told a lie and felt bad about it?

The Durher gives you a puzzled glace. “Well yea, Ant… everyone has, right?”

Well THAT’S an unexpected response. Yea, you nod as Volka tugs you to the side just in time to avoid walking into some kind of obstacle, so how did she, y’know, smooth things over?

“Meaning?”

Well she fessed up, right? How did she end up telling the truth? How’d it work out?

“It probably felt good, right?” Adds Volka with her tail swinging behind her excitedly! “Like a weight lifted off your shoulders!”

“Er, yea!” The Spinner replies as if remembering she left the oven on, “A big ole’ shoulder-boulder! Massive! Mhm!”

That seems to satisfy Volka, of course, but you opt to try a different approach. You can trust us, Tzah-Tzie… you know that, right?

The girl stumbles a bit in response, her gaze still focused on the road ahead. You’re just about to poke her when the girl whirls around to face you with a slightly forced smile!

“Wanna hear a song?”

The question hits you like a Canadian Goose. Uh, you sputter as you recover, s-sure!

Taking a moment to tune her Striili, an unusual calmness washes over the Durher as she starts to strum a slow, almost mournful melody–the Spinner refraining from singing until a few bars in.

Tear stains on a pillow case… a hard slap still aching on your face.. a hasty escape and a frantic chase…

the truth will set you free…

A silent glare, an empty chair, you run to say sorry, but there's nobody there... You scream and you cry and shout 'it's just not fair'...

the truth will set you free…

Wind blows... time slows... thorns that prick and stick and tear your clothes... where to next? Nobody knows…

the truth will set you free…

The truth's your key, now you're adrift at sea... you're paddle's gone and there's nowhere to flee... there's no more 'home', and you're doomed to roam... but don't you see? You're where you wanted to be... just take it from me... just take it from me....

The truth... will set you.... free.


Thumbing the strings a few more times, Tzah-Tzie turns to you once more with a small smile. “What’ja think? One of my first.”

“I… kinda got it?” Remarks Volka, her face scrunched up in confusion. “But I lost it halfway through…”

Well?
>Not bad!
>Kinda grim, isn’t it?
>What inspired that?
>It… could use a little work…
>Are you okay, T?
>Huh. Damn.
>Write-In!
>>
>>6123846
So, fight with family leading to her running away because she thought it’d be better, she missed them some time later and tried to return only to see they were gone, and now she’s stuck on a road because she has no idea where they are and no place else to go? Exactly what she wanted when she left, but she regrets it and can no longer take it back?

I’m guessing the truth in this context is that she’s sorry she ran away and she’d be happier if she could say that, but she can’t say because she can’t find them. Alternative being that they’re dead, but I’m not thinking it’s that extreme to her knowledge.

So,
>I think I get it, and now I’m wondering what I left behind.
>T, I keep getting more uncomfortable the more I think about how it could apply to me. It’s… effective. Good art should make people feel things. This is definitely art.
>Please excuse me a moment.

My thoughts keep returning to the possibility that we may never get home. People who may have cared about us needing to move on. We may remember things we did or said that we regret later, and we can do nothing to fix that. We’d have to move on with our life, bury the past, and accept that nothing from that time will ever be resolved.

That might actually give me a short panic attack.
>>
>>6123846
>Are you okay, T?
>Its not like her home vanished right, we would help her look for it if we weren't so busy trying to find a way home
>>
>>6123852
>>6123861
>I think I get it, and now I’m wondering what I left behind.
>T, I keep getting more uncomfortable the more I think about how it could apply to me. It’s… effective. Good art should make people feel things. This is definitely art.
>Please excuse me a moment.
>Are you okay?
>Your home gone?
Writing!
>>
>>6123846
>>6123852 +1
And here I was just trying to figure out how to break it to Volka that we aren't Federal Boobie Inspectors. Ouch, my heart...
>>
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Words fail you as you nearly trip over your own two feet–the songs the Spinner had been playing during your battles were upbeat–inspiring! This song, though… it leaves a mark.

You… you think you kinda get it, you respond, your mind drifting towards the people back home no doubt wondering where you went. You don’t mean it in a bad way, you add, but the lyrics, well… they unsettle you! Like they apply to you!

“Oh?” The Durher asks, cocking her head to the side as Volka follows suit, “How so?”

Losing a home, you respond almost listlessly, not able to return… it’s hard to explain, you continue with an exasperated sigh, but… but good art should make you feel things! And this, well… it made you feel homesick. This is art, T.

The Spinner is stupefied by your review–so much so that she sheepishly shifts her gaze towards her toes!

“Wow… thanks, Ant…”

No flourish, no cheek in her pronounciation–it’s the most genuine thing you’ve heard the girl say. “Glad you liked it…”

Feeling your mind wander back into the land of What Ifs and Maybes, you do your best to distract yourself! T, you add, is she… okay?

Like a finger flicking a lightswitch, Tzah-Tzie’s morose mood transforms back into her usual bubbly demeanor–the star of the show! “Course I am! I’ve got a road to walk and some quality companions to share it with! Why wouldn’t I be fine?”

Well, you counter, she briefly mentioned her family before–does she actually have a home to go back to? A place she can rest her feet? The Durher responds with a drawn-out ‘pssssh!’ and a shake of her head!

“C’mon, Ant! Can’t buy what ya’ can’t afford! But just you wait–we’ll have more bells than we know what to do with soon enough! Better start making a shopping list too, Volkie!” She adds with a wink!

“M-me!?” Sputters the surprised Skog, “I uh… I dunno…”

“C’mon, bangles? Perfumes? Swords? There’s gotta be something!”

“Well…” Sighs Volka, “Dad could use a better chair…”

“New chair! Let’s put it on the list!” TT announces with a strum of her instrument! “There’s always somewhere better than where you are… just gotta get there first!”

You’re about to ask her about those lyrics when a shrill scream rings out across the docks… specifically the ones ahead of you!

“That definitely came from further down!” Confirms Volka as she stoops down to pick both of you up, “Let’s move!”

It’s not like you have a choiAAAAAUUUUUGH!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6123899
Rushing across the docks like a runaway truck on a mission, Volka deprives you of at least one more vote’s-worth of passing time and deposits you and Tzah-Tzie on the damp wood floor like unclaimed baggage!

“Sign says this is the place…” The Skog hisses under her breath as she runs her hand against something tall and metal to your right, “but who was scream-”

“B-b-b-but it’s m-MY sugar!”

Following the reedy, raspy voice to its source, you watch as other dockgoers beat a hasty retreat and try not to notice as a trio of snickering hooligans corner a Chytree trembling like a leaf in the wind further down by the warehouses!

“C’moooon, ya’ gots plenty ta’ share!” Laughs who you assume to be the leader of the proverbial pack: a Durher with a cocky glimmer in his eyes and a chip on his unseen shoulder! “Think of it as an investment, yea?”

“Heh! Yee, an invesmit!” Snickers a menacing Mzz'goe'virr, an acrid, smoky scent wafting from his mouth and one of his eyes perpetually squinting! “Payurp, bigoyes!”

Their third member of the band, a Moleg if his burning red eyes are any indication, stands like a gargoyle between his entourage and the rest of the docks… and where you stand. He doesn’t say anything, not that that surprises you.

“Ya must be new around here, so ‘ere’s a tip for free:” Croons the Durher as the sound akin to a refrigerator’s ice maker crackles out of his unseen claw, “THE ICERS run the show on the docks, and when they ask for somethin’ you’d best give it to ‘em… before they start DEMANDIN’!

“Heh! Ayetherbedemarninferthedockersrunnincoldblooders!”

Volka looks your way with worry in her big yellow eyes! “Did you catch that, rook?”

You didn’t, you frown, but it didn’t sound good… these guys must be really drunk or REALLY insane!

“Hmm… Squinty’s got a poison bite, but let’s get the drop on the big guy!” Suggests TT under her breath! “That’ll change their tune!”

“Nah, let’s get that Durher first!” The amazon counters! “He sounds like a mage! And Icers LOVE their ice magic… the Bellcounters find preserved bodies encased in the stuff… they found a guy last week who’d been dead for a YEAR!”

Kinda like a calling card, huh? Or in this case a ‘Colding Card’! Hah!

No one laughs, so you decide to…
>Get the creep’s attention! HEY!
>Sneakily take out the Moleg!
>Try to find a vantage point to snipe from!
>Search outside the warehouse for something useful!
>Have someone distract the Moleg, then go for the mage!
>Get the gals to distract ‘em!
>Throw something around–try to lure ‘em away!
>COOK THEM ALL
>Write-In!
>>
>>6123900
>Have someone distract the Moleg, then go for the mage!
>>
>>6123900
>Get the creep’s attention! HEY!
"FREEZE! YOUR UNDER ARREST!"
Distract them with ice puns so obber can slip out
>>
>>6123900
>Have Volka distract the moleg, then go for the mage! Oh, and have TT sneak up and rob them blind before this.
>>
>>6123900
>>6123935 +1
>>
>>6123935
+1
>>
>>6123902
>>6123935
>Distract Moleg, go for the Mage!

>>6123935
>>6123939
>>6123982
>Do the above but also have TT steal shit!

>>6123918
>Do your best Ahnold Mr. Freeze impression to let Obber slip away!

Looks like robbery and distraction wins it, so here's how it gonna go:

>Roll me 3d100--1 for Volka, 1 for TT, and one for Anton! I'll add/subtract as follows:
Volka Roll: (+3 Imposing! +3 Also Big! -2 Unflappable Moleg!)
TT: (+4 Tiny, +3 Sneaky, -3 Moleg watching)
Anton: (+? Depends on distraction, +3 Stealthy, +2 Surprise! -3 Moleg Watching (but will change based on Volka's)
Best of 3! Seeya after work!
>>
Rolled 71, 25, 65 = 161 (3d100)

>>6124089
>>
Rolled 1, 34, 32 = 67 (3d100)

>>6124089
>>
>>6124105
More rolls equals greater chance of 1s, RIP volka it was nice knowing you
>>
Rolled 80, 85, 75 = 240 (3d100)

>>6124107
>>6124107
>More rolls equals greater chance of 1s, RIP volka it was nice knowing you
yup, now lets see if i can make it even worse!
>>
>>6124154
We haven't had pizza quest levels of bad luck yet
>>
Rolls are IN, but it looks like I'm gonna be at work late today and I've had a headache all day! Apologies, but the next update might have to wait until Thursday--sorry for the delay and thanks for playing!
>>
>>6124302
>Mention art
>Volka rolls a 1
>QM is struck down
Man, invoking Art’s name is scary.

Can we trade our fire powers for the ability to curse people with his luck?
>>
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Okay, OKAY, just one small update, but that's it! Seriously! My head hurts!

I just can't say no to you crazy cats...

>>6124100
>>6124105
>>6124154
>VOLKA: CRITFAIL LOL WHAT A DINGUS
>TT: 89!
>ANTON: VOLKA CRITFAILED THOUGH LOL

Writing!

>>6124169
Give it time, anon, we'll get there!

>>6124339
>Art
>Bad Luck
Sure he had a bit of rough luck in the beginning, but consider the following:
Dating best girl Sybil
>>
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Both girls have their points–based on what you saw, er… sensed when you were fighting the sewer golem, you were a lucky duck to have Oti on your side! Dubious powers aside, you’re not sure if you could handle an ice blast to the face! Getting to the mage, though, now that’s a pickle of a different brand…

Volk, you whisper, prompting the big gal to stoop closer, get that Moleg’s attention–doesn’t matter how!

“Can do!” The Skog salutes with a toothy grin!

T, you add, slip in close and see what these goons have on ‘em–weapons, bells, if they have it, you want it, okay?

The Durher responds with an almost hurt expression! “Wh-why do you think I’d be good at-”

You probably have some doubt on your face, because the girl gives up mid-protest and shrugs. “Okay, leave it to me…”

And they can leave that mangy mage to YOU, you sneer! Now let’s go get some sugar!

Breaking off, you maintain a healthy distance as Volka works her magic–whatever that magic is… striding over with the confidence that only a colossal scaled warrior lady can pull off, your distracteur gets in range of the Moleg and-

“Achoo!”

Lets out the daintiest sneeze you’ve ever heard. Was… was that the distraction?

BERSERK SKOOOOOOOGG!

The warning barely leaves the Moleg’s unseen lips (do they have lips? You’re curious…) before said thug tackles Volka like a dummy at a football training camp! Startled, frightened, and altogether spooked, the Durher Mage pivots like a cat on a lazy Susan and grimaces as the air crackles with bone-chilling magicks!

As you prepare to take the brunt of the attack, you watch as TT abandons her thieving attempt and scampers a safe distance away from the now fully-alert gang goons!

>Roll me 1d100-6 (+1 Footwork, -2 Dark, -2 OutSurprised!, Cone of Cold Proximity -3) to cure the UNcommon cold! Best of 3 rolls!
>>
Rolled 75 - 6 (1d100 - 6)

>>6124445
rollan
>>
Rolled 51 - 6 (1d100 - 6)

>>6124445
>>
Rolled 17 - 6 (1d100 - 6)

>>6124445
Gesundheit!
>>
>>6124417
Oh hey, Sybil
>>
>>6124464
>>6124469
>>6124478
>HIGHEST ROLL: 69!
Writing!!!!

>>6124478
>gensundheit
Finally a player with MANNERS! Volka says thank you

>>6124484
She says 'greetings' and hopes you all are doing well. She also wanted me to remind you all that Fall is the Season of the Wolf, whatever that means
>>
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No time to dodge, no time to duck, and definitely no time to DIVE! Confronted with the impending equivalent of being hit by a truckload of icicles, your busted brain springs into action! Synapses fire! Muscles go taut! Glutes flex! Your body is a well-oiled machine, and its combined might sends you arching backwards until you’re parallel to the floor below!

Yes, you mutter in half-disbelief, half-epiphany… that’s right! You weren’t just some GRILL JOCKEY! You were… You were…!

A LIMBO CHAMPION!

Not professionally or officially in any capacity, you realize as you feel the wave of ice rush past your face, but it’s enough to keep you from getting shishkebob’d! Jerking back upright like a vampire out of a coffin, a menacing laugh escapes your lips as the Durher watches you in abject confusion and mild terror!

“What… what da HELLS are ya!?”

Anton Peas, you snarl as you step towards him, but he can call you MISTER!

Like Tzah-Tzie demonstrated earlier, the scruffy sorcerer scampers further down the dock as his associate tags in–his perpetually-squinting eye squeezed even tighter shut for added menace!

“Ahhh, corrrrmon thern, stritchy bai…” He slurs as a glob of ooze drips from his toothy maw and hits the docks with a ‘HISS!’, “Les’ darnce, yer an I…”

Two on one, ey? You like those odds… right, Volk? When your ‘dance partner’ doesn’t respond, you turn just in time to watch her and the Moleg tumble over an unseen edge and land with a splash in the water!

“Ha-HA! Nice one, Uurt! She could probably use a bath or ten!” Chitters the mage with renewed haughtiness! That’s just his OPINION, you snarl! Volka smells pretty decent to you!

As the mage charges up a frosty rebuttal, you spot TT out of the corner of your eye stalking towards the wizard like a cat about to pounce on a grasshopper!

NEW TRAIT REDISCOVERED: LIMBO LORD! +2 FLEXIBILITY!

What do?!
>Throw something at the mage!
>TOAST THE WIZARD!!!
>Rush past Squinty and engage the Durher up close!
>SEAR THE SQUINTY GUY!
>CQC the Mzz'goe'virr!
>Try to knock your Six-Eyed-Assailant into the water!
>Help Volka!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6124883
>Rush past Squinty and engage the Durher up close!
Remember: demon powers in an urban center is a no-no!
>>
>>6124883
>Rush past Squinty and engage the Durher up close!
>>6124886
Urban center or not we shouldn't be using them unless our life depends on it
>>
>>6124854
It’s only polite!

>>6124883
>Rush past Squinty and engage the Durher up close!
Go in swinging high, then bust out a limbo slide to duck under his counter I guess.

>>6124891
I’m actually okay to use our demon powers more often, but I would like to keep it outside the city. Much easier to hide from the guard that way.
>>
>>6124923
Volkir said its bad to use them so we shouldn't use them for no reason
>>
>>6124886
>>6124891
>>6124923
>MASH THE MAGE! DODGE THE DWEEB!

Here goes something!
>Roll me 1d100-2 (+1 Footwork, +2 Flexible (Since anon made a decent case for it, you sly bitch, you, +2 Mage Busy Casting, -2 Dark, -4 Mzz'goe'virr Reach, -1 Hasty) to whack a wizard! Best of 3!
>>
Rolled 55 - 2 (1d100 - 2)

>>6124926
Psh, when have I ever listened to reasonable authority figures? I’m suuuure the concerns are overblown.

>>6124950
Yay write-ins!
>>
Rolled 21 - 2 (1d100 - 2)

>>6124950
>>
Still at work and will be here til late tonight, but while we wait for lucky roller #3 I wanted to grab a little clarification!
When bumrushing this mage, and I suppose the other goons too, are ypu going for LETHAL or NONLETHAL? There will be a few hurdles to clear if you choose Nonlethal, of course, but on the flipside you'll feel better about yourself, probably!
>>
Rolled 85 - 2 (1d100 - 2)

>>6124950
>>6125219
> lethal
whatever is easier works for me
>>
>>6125219
>nonlethal
Lamplighters don't usually kill! Nor do fast food employees.
>>
>>6125219
>Nonlethal
Lethal can be for outside the city if needed.
>>
>>6125219
>Nonlethal
What are we, a demon?
>>
>>6124952
>>6124962
>>6125227
Sorry for the wait, folks--got home yesterday night, made dinner, and was DOG tired! Here comes the update...

>HIGHEST ROLL: 83!

>>6125230
>>6125381
>>6125636
>Nonlethal

>>6125227
>DESTROY THE CHILD

Looks like we're going nonlethal on these icy idiots! We're goin full Undertale, folks, watch out! Writiiiiing
>>
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Nothing’s changed–the mage is still the dangerous one here! And if you can land a one-two punch with Tzah-Tzie…

Nope, no time to contemplate! Dashing at the mumbling Mzz'goe'virr as if to attack, you immediately regret your decision when you sense not one, not two, but THREE limbs rushing to greet you! Christ, what ARE these guys!?

You were gonna limbo again, but in your hastiness you just kinda hop and jerk to the side like a kid playing dodgeball for the first time! Though you feel something sharp and serrated cleave through the back of your robe, you manage to slip through–your momentum carrying you towards the now very wide-eyed mage like a blue-eyed bullet!

“Ach! Gebagg’ere, yer’ drippen-runner mealy belly!” Snarls Squinty as he trundles after you! “Loogalive, boyo–troublin’scomern!”

You have no idea what Squinty’s screaming at you or his chum, but that just makes it scarier, in your opinion! Furiously chanting as he stands his ground, the Durher mage’s pupils become pinpricks as you close the gap just as Tzah-Tzie sets up behind him! Poor guy, you think as you brandish your CURVED BLADE’s pommel like a blackjack, guess he can’t move and ca-

A dismissive chuckle hops off your lips just as your ears pop and the air around you turns ice cold! Snickering behind a Cheshire grin, the mage brings both hands forward to stick a spear of ice through your chest!

“HEH! Nice hustle, mac, but it’s SNOW use-”

Shoulda gone with the cone of cold again. With a quick pirouette that in hindsight seems a bit unnecessary, you deftly duck to the side of the spell and use your spinning momentum to clock the caster upside the head!

Well, that’s the PLAN, anyways. As your blade’s pommel reaches what you assume is where the gangster’s head is, it’s met with an invisible force–not that anything here is visible, really, but you get the point. Pushing against you like two magnets of the same polarity, the force gives you one hell of a fight, but it’s not enough!

Well, almost. Feeling your blow break through, your attack still goes wide as the nimble ne’er-do-well hops backwards with foxlike agility and a derisive ‘HEH!

“Gotta try harder than that!” He croons, moments before something unwieldy and vaguely wooden connects with the back of his head!

KABOOOOONG!

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6125763
Tumbling to the ground like a sack of fuzzy potatoes, the Durher mage is out like an old lightbulb–his foul sorcery undone by a chance smack from Tzah-Tzie’s instrument!

You shoot the girl an appreciative thumbs-up, but frown at yourself when you remember she can’t see it. Nice jo-

“Watch out!”

Whipping around with a dopey ‘duh, whuuuh?’ stumbling out of your mouth, you’re not proud to admit that you let loose a high-pitched SHRIEK as Squinty AND a dripping wet Moleg rush towards you!

Something tells you they aren’t about to give you a hug! What do!?
>Limbo! It might send ‘em into TT, though!
>Try to trip them!
>COMBINED ATTACK with TT! Double the rolls, double the trouble!?
>Just run away–lead ‘em on a chase!
>You’ve got your blade pommel–smack one of ‘em!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6125764
>You have MANY throwing knives. Use them!
We have some experience from throwing at a button at least, and they may not expect the throwing knives what with everything else we’ve done so far.
>>
>>6125764
Seconding >>6125822
As an aside, we might need to invest in a club or a similar object if we plan on staying non-lethal (most of the time). The best would be something that we could light on fire for added damage, like a censer flail!
>>
>>6125764
>COMBINED ATTACK with TT! Double the rolls, double the trouble!?
>>
>>6125822
>>6125829
>Be KNIFE to them!

>>6125885
>COMBOOOOOO

Let's see how they like your knife trick! Based on the 'MANY' I assume you're attacking both of these mooks, so let's get some rolls, shall we?

>Roll me 2d100! Roll modifiers are as follows:
>Squinty: (+3 Many Knives, +2 Many Eyes, Easy Target, -2 Dark, -1 Hasty)
>Moleg: (+3 Many Knives, +3 Big Target, -2 Dark, -1 Hasty, -3 Moleg Natural Armor)
Best O' Three! Go gettem, tiger(s)!
>>
Rolled 9, 3 = 12 (2d100)

>>6125902
I call this one the Anton Ass-Stabbing
>>
Rolled 33, 6 = 39 (2d100)

>>6125902
Yeesh, we need to workshop that name some more if that’s what it’ll do. How about the Anton Arsenal Assault?
>>
Rolled 95, 96 = 191 (2d100)

>>6125914
>>6125929
you did it wrong, let me show you how to roll die
>>
>>6125951
Well damn, you sure showed them.
>>
>>6125914
>>6125929
>>6125951
>HIGHEST ROLLS: 97 & 96!
Yowza! Writiiiiing!

>>6125951
Yea wow you guys could learn a thing or two from this guy!
>>
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Freefalling down a bottomless pit of indecision, your mind mind hits a patch of memories like a particularly clumped together flock of parrots mid-fall! How many work shifts have you been leapt at by bugs and vermin, Anton? Asks the patchwork quilt of past events with a smirk in its disembodied voice, can you add them all up?

“Err, Ant,” Stammers Tzah-Tzie from behind you, clearly debating whether or not to stick around, “About to get murdered here…”

You’re right, Wall of Thoughts, you respond with a sagely nod, it’d be like counting the drops of water in the sea… or the amount of times you’ve burned your wrist on the fryer…

“Well-spoken…” Your memories reply, “And what tactic never fails? Be it rat, spider, or homeless?”

Your body answers for you by grabbing two handfuls of THROWING KNIVES from your pockets! If you had more time to think, you’d ponder how you haven’t ran out yet, but there’s no TIME! A symphony of spinning metal signals the flight of the blades, and as you prepare your CURVED BLADE for the inevitable close quarters battle, you pause as a pair of wet ‘SPLUTCH!’es confirm direct hits on your foes!

“Aiiieegh, yer gotternme, ya’ craven slipchuck, ye!” Whining in agony as he doubles over onto the docks, Squinty struggles to yank the blade out of wherever it hit as his golemesque compadre continues towards you with a slight limp and a full intent to pound you into mulch!

Just when you think the odds have been evened, a slosh of water and an irritated groan signal the MUCH welcomed return of your favorite warrior gal! Flopping back onto the dock about ten feet away, the salty sea Skog grits her pointy teeth as she rushes to close the distance between her and the massive moleg!

What do!?
>Pepper him with knives–let Volka take him down!
>You got this! Bait him and pommel strike his head!
>Trip the meathead!
>ANTON, TZAH-TZIE, VOLKA COMBO!
>Stay silent! They’ll think you disappeared!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6126024
>ANTON, TZAH-TZIE, VOLKA COMBO!
>>
>>6126024
>>ANTON, TZAH-TZIE, VOLKA COMBO!
just because i wonder how that would look like
>>
>>6126024
>ANTON, TZAH-TZIE, VOLKA COMBO!
Sure, just to see what it looks like.

I mean, it’d be cool and all if we slid under one of them and kicked them up so Volka could punch them into TT’s instrument being swung like a bat. This isn’t a Marvel production though, this is DARK QUEST.
>>
>>6126042
>>6126071
>>6126077
>C-C-C-COMBO MAKERRRRRR
It's TIME. Hope you guys have been cultivating COMPANIONSHIP POINTS, because lord knows I haven't been keeping track of 'em and I'm pretty sure they don't even exist! Here's what we're gonna do though:
>Roll me 3d100s! No bonuses, no maluses--just ROLLIN'. One for Anton, Tzah-Tzie, and Volka! If everyone succeeds then you'll be happy campers, but if even ONE person in the combo messes up, well... don't mess up!

Best o' 3, 3d100! Let's gooooo
>>
Rolled 78, 37, 21 = 136 (3d100)

>>6126100
Come on, boss, combos are made to support low-performers! We back each other up and compensate for lulls and weakspots!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh_PRbIvYIE
>>
>>6126100
And you know what? Let's get those COMBO MOVE WRITE-INs in too! Unless you trust me to come up with stuff on my own. History has shown that that hasn't worked out too well
>>
Rolled 49, 92, 15 = 156 (3d100)

>>6126100
>>
Rolled 19, 28, 11 = 58 (3d100)

>>6126100
>>6126118
After throwing knives, it's high time we upgrade: we throw Taz-Tzie onto the moleg (so she can bash him) before dropkicking his surprised ass onto Volka so she can piledrive drive him onto Squinty.
>>
>>6126106
>>6126146
>>6126251
THE ROLLS:
>ANTON: 78 = SYNERGY!
>VOLKA: 92 = SYNERGY!!
>TZAH-TZIE: 21 = NOT SYNERGY :CCCC

Uh oh! Writing!
>>
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The ball is in your court–the wind is in your favor! It’s time to topple this giant and GET SOME DAMN SUGAR! Volka, TT, you bark as you widen your stance, you READY!?

“You bet!” Answers the Skog with a cocky grin on her face!
“Uh-huh!” Tzah-Tzie nods, mischief gleaming in her eyes like candles!

Then let’s DO it! Rushing towards the last gang goon in perfect synchronization, you exchange one last glance with your comrades before putting the plan in motion! Striding over to Tzah-Tzie as she… wait, was she gonna try to trip the Moleg? Why is she over here!? Never mind… Snatching the girl up by her hood, you spin the surprisingly-light Spinner around like an Olympian throwing a hammer–the poor girl letting out a confuddled ‘Nyyyyaaaaaa????’ as you both approach terminal velocity!

Just…. TRUST me, you snarl, gritting your teeth before letting your pintsized payload fly! Your request seems to fall on deaf ears, however–the poor girl screams like a banshee that got into a tank of helium as she tumbles through the air like a squirrel falling off of a powerline!

Neither Volka nor the Moleg expected that--that’s plain to see in their eyes, at least. But while the Tzahpedo misses your target by a massive margin, the Skog barely manages to duck beneath the crying, flailing Durher as she lands with a splash in the water surrounding the docks!

Still distracted, Volka runs belly-first into one of the Moleg’s fists–the blow sending the Skog backwards with pain etched all over her face! By the time the red-eyed ruffian turns to face you, however, you’re already well on your way via the DROPKICK EXPRES-

Well, you were, anyways. Whirling around like a cross between a buff ballerina and a very angry tornado, the Moleg brings around the fist that knocked the wind out of Volka and delivers it directly to your arm! It kinda hurts, sure, but it could have been worse!

Yea, just kidding! A wall of stony chiton crashes into you with the force of a wrecking ball, prompting pain to pioneer brand new routes across your whole body! Westward Ho!

Needless to say, you go soaring. Half-flying, half-spinning like a top with a jet engine attached, you only fly for a few seconds before landing in a pile of heavy, but thankfully plush, sacks of sugar!

Wait, nope, they were barrels. Metal! Peeling yourself out of the Anton-shaped indent, you stagger to your feet as Squinty too regains his footing! Crud!

You’re back to dealing with two jerks again, and Tzah-Tzie’s busy taking swimming lessons! Two on Two–you’ve got this!

As both thugs move to capitalize on the dazed Skog, however, it dawns on you that you uh… you might NOT got this!

What do!?
>MORE KNIVES!
>Hamstring ‘em from behind!
>Try to knock them into the drink!
>BURN THE DOCK! IT’S NOT KILLING THEM!
>OR JUST BURN THEM! DESPERATE TIMES!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6126274
>Hamstring ‘em from behind!
>>
>>6126274
>Hamstring ‘em from behind!
I know someone who had this done to them before. They ended up crawling up the guy who did it and snapped his neck. The guy made the mistake of staying close to keep stabbing instead of moving back.

We can be smarter than that, nick their hamstrings and stay just out of reach until Volka can finish them properly.
>>
>>6126286
>>6126635
>STRING THEM HAMMIES
That's the spirit! Let's see how ya do--had a busy day so this'll probably be the last update til later on Monday, so give it your all!

>Roll me 1d100-1 (+1 Footwork, +2 Distracted Baddies, +1 Injured Squinty, -2 Dark, -3 Moleg Natural Armor) To stop 'em in their tracks! Best O' 3!
>>
Rolled 52 - 1 (1d100 - 1)

>>6126658
>>
Rolled 47 - 1 (1d100 - 1)

>>6126658
>>
Rolled 87 - 1 (1d100 - 1)

>>6126658
>>
>>6126714
>>
>>6126664
>>6126667
>>6126714
>HIGHEST ROLL: 86!
S-S-S-SPICY! Here goes something--writing!
>>
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You might not got THIS, but what you DO got is LEGS!! And quite a few KNIVES! And you don’t care how tough Volka is–you’re gonna USE ‘em, damn it!

Scampering towards the thugs like a dog chasing a squirrel, you fill your hands with knives as anger and adrenaline churn through your veins like hot soup! If you can just sink a few blades into the right places… if you can buy Volka some ti-OW, FAAAAUUUUKKKK

STUBBED TOE COUNTER: 14

The chance meeting between your toe and a particularly knobbled piece of the dock transforms you into a knife-wielding missile just as Squinty and his Pal turn to face you! While the former spits a gob of hissing, caustic goo your way, the Moleg merely waits until you approach smacking range and, well… you can probably guess what he tries to do next!

Your unexpected flight, however, bears fruit–as you thread the needle between both goon’s attacks, you rake your knives against something squishy on both of your targets and send them stumbling to the damp pier wood just as Volka rises to her beefy height once more!

Unfortunately you sail straight between her legs and past her thumping, if somewhat still damp, tail, landing with a splash in the water she just emerged from! Flailing and struggling to stay afloat, you squeal in shock as something brushes against your foot, prompting you to kick it with everything you’ve got!

While Volka delivers a Skog-sized beatdown to the thugs above, you deliver your own serving of pain to your undersea aggressor! Salty water burns your eyes, cold water seeping through your robe nips at your skin, but you hold firm as you kick them with all your might! You’re not dying from a SIDEQUEST!

Winding up for one last stomp, a shriek escapes your seawater-coated lips as the sea beast emerges–its grass-colored eyes burning with irritation and-

Oh. Hiya, TT…

“I’m….” She sputters as water pours out of her mouth like a fountain, “Not… a… SEA MONSTER!

You barely manage to squeak out an apology before the Durher sinks her pointy teeth into your arm and doesn’t let go even after you claw your way back onto the docks screaming all the while! Rolling around in a desperate attempt to pry the belligerent bard loose, the two of you are separated by a familiar set of rough and calloused claws!

D-dad!?

“Oi, at ease, you two! Fight’s over!”

Oh.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6127118
Volka points both of you towards a stretch of pier that’s… well… dark. Erm, you mutter as you cough up some seawater, what exactly are we looking at here?

“Those Icer Goons,” The Skog replies, puffing out her chest with pride! “They’re outta’ commission! Good work, you two!”

You’re a bit skeptical until you hear the aforementioned goons snoring–the Moleg even adding a cute little whistle at the end of each one! D’awww!

All’s… all’s well that ends well… right? Tzah-Tzie responds by shaking the water off of her body like a dog–sending most of it to the docks!

Yea, just kidding. Of COURSE it hit you!

As Volka cautiously lowers you to the ground like a vase, you scope out the docks as best you can for your third Obber of the day! Where, uh, where is he?

“I thought you were watching him!” Replies the Skog as you tweet out a few sharp whistles in an attempt to summon the Chytree! “Can’t have gone far, right? Hope he didn’t get caught in the crossfire…”

Dried off and cooled down, TT slinks over and sniffs the air. “Hmm… wherever he is, he’s definitely nearby…”

Woah, you remark, she can track his scent!?

“Kinda. He definitely peed his pants.”

Ah.

Well during your scrap you found a few places he might have chosen to hide… the question is which one?

“Better hurry, Rook–before he scurries off into more trouble!”

Yea, you’re trying, okay? Sheesh!

Where to?
>The Sugar Barrels!
>The Crates Near the Road!
>The Nook Next to the Water!
>Inside His Warehouse!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6127119
>The Sugar Barrels!
I’ll guess he was hoping the sugar smell would hide his piss smell.

Which it doesn’t. TT will need to keep a nose out though, apparently.
>>
>>6127119
>The Sugar Barrels!
Obbers seem to be pretty job-focused as a rule, so far.
>>
>>6127159
>>6127173
>THE SUGAR BARREL!
Writiiiiiiiiing the last update of the night!

>>6127173
Well Obber definitely is, sure, but Obber tends to treat it more as a necessity than anything else. Obber, on the other hand...
>>
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Yea okay, this doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out… Striding over to the metal sugar barrels you uh, got acquainted with earlier, you t-ACK! Dammit!

STUBBED TOE COUNTER: 15

“Gotta lift those feet higher, Rook!” Suggests Volka as he brings up the rear! “Can’t expect the dockworkers to sand down every bit of wood!”

Yea, you groan as you shake the pain out of your toe, those poor dockworkers… Your Ring of Echos helps you avoid another toe stubbing as you and your entourage approaches the barrels–each one remarkably and somewhat eerily quiet on arrival!

“Well what are we waiting for, an invitation!?” Laughs Tzah-Tzie as she skitters over to the leftmost barrel, “Dunno about you two, but THIS gal’s earned a little treat after al-

The dull BONG of metal against a face followed by a pained ‘NYAAAH!’ tell you all you need to know! As Tzah-Tzie tumbles onto the dock like a bag of groceries, you give the air her head previously occupied a good SMACK with your hand and send a heavy, metal barrel cover clattering to the floor!

“Nice one, Rook!” Volka remarks as she moves in to apprehend the suspect, “Lemme handle this one…”

NOOO! NOOOOOOO!!!” Shrieks a trembling, reedy voice on the verge of crying as the Skog fishes around in the barrel like a raccoon looking for trash bin scraps, “ROLO KNOWS ME! PLEEEAASE!

It’s over, you groan, gingerly massaging your definitely broken hand, no more Mr. Ice Guys! No one laughs, but it makes sense–Volka’s too busy trying to fish the poor sugarmonger out of the barrel and TT is…

… well, she’ll be fine. Probably.

>CONTD.
>>
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>>6127218
Turning your attention back to your friend who ISN’T currently nursing a concussion on the dock, your mood brightens as she manages to uproot the shivering sugarer from his improvised ‘pot’! Obber, you begin, unsure of whether the Chytree’s eyes are jittering from lingering fear or a sugar rush, you’ve been sent here for some sugar!

“A-a-and you can HAVE it, fr-friend!” Sputters the sugarseller with a forced smile in his raspy voice! “A-as much as you want!”

It takes a minute or two for his word train to reach your brain station. Wait, you frown in disbelief, that’s it? No more errands? No more snags?

“N-no sir!” Obber replies in as cheerful a voice he can muster, “Wouldn’t want to make you mad, clearly!” You and Volka exchange a glance before following Obber’s over to where you left the goons. Yea, he’s probably right!

“Hah! They call that a scrap, we call it ‘Mousthday,’, right, Rook?” Limboing a good-natured, but potentially fatal slap on the back, you respond with a good-natured ‘absolutely’!

“S-so we’re fine, yes?” Stammers the Chytree, still dangling from Volka’s grip like a prize at a carnival game, “Y-you heard me earlier! I told those hooligans I didn’t want to make any other deals!”

Shaking his head back and forth to accentuate his point, Obber looks your way with what probably counts as a smile in Chytrees before quickly averting his gaze!

Is… is he about to cry!? What’s going on here?

>Ask! What’s his damage?
>Take advantage! You want some MONEY too!
>Talk to your pals–any ideas?
>Can you have some sugar for the road?
>Why was he being hassled anyways?
>Err, Rolo?
>Nope, he just needs to send sugar to Obber!
>Write-In!
>>
>>6127221
>Err, Rolo?
>>
>>6127221
>Err, Rolo?
>Nope, he just needs to send sugar to Obber!
Bug-buddy, we aren't with the Icee Gang of whatever.
>>
>>6127221
>Got anything for the concussion you just gave TT?
>Err, Rolo?
>Nope, he just needs to send sugar to Obber!
Because the scheckt is all gone after the warehouse overflowed, so there’s nothing to seal barrels with, so we can’t get a shipment of alcohol to an innkeeper whose business was burned down after assassins tried to kill/kidnap(?) some patrons.

I’m not sure where that statement rates on the weird-o-meter.

Also, it seems like this whole chain is going to end with us taking down a criminal network and getting congratulated by the temple guard.
>>
>>6127226
>>6127235
>>6127345
THE TALLY:
>ROLO? 3
>JUST SUGAR PLZ: 2
>CURE MY PET SPINNER ONEGAISHIMASU 1

Writing!
>>
>>6127345
OR taking down the Temple Guard and being congratulated by a gang of criminals! You never know.
>>
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Yea, you’ll be fine in a minute, you reply, voice growing cloudy with doubt–who’s that ROLO guy he mentioned?

“Soooouuunds familiaaaar…” Muses Volka, tail patting against the wood as she adopts a pondering stance! You weren’t asking her, you clarify, but good to know! While the Skog gives you a good-natured nod, Obber stares at you like you just threw a crossword puzzle at him… and then pointed a gun at his face!

“Is… is th-this a test?”

Is it!?

Confusion shifts into panic on the Chytree’s bulging eyes as he comes to the conclusion that yes, this is a test.

“H-he’s your b-BOSS… a REALLY fair one! Boy, does.. Does he smell good! And uh… C-capo in the… y-you know…”

You do, you lie, but your Skog pal doesn’t, so…

“He’s right! I don’t!” Chirps said Skog pal, deftly turning your lie into a half-truth!

“Pl-please don’t make me say it…” The sugarman sputters under his tense breath, “I’m begging you…”

SAY THEIR NAME, you snarl with unusual amounts of venom!

“Th-the SPICE CARTEL!” Stammers Obber, spitting the word out of his mouth like a swig of spoiled milk! “Th-those st-street toughs tried to charge me protection money… b-but I told them I already have protection… a-and look how THAT turned out for them! H-hahaha!”

The Chytree sends a menacing, borderline manic trill of laughter over to the still-unconscious bodies lying on the dock behind you–malice burning in his eyes like a grease fire at your job! “OoooOOohh, I’ll b-bet you’ve got s-some… d-DEVIOUS plans in st-store for them, huh? T-TEACH ‘em a lesson…”

Yea, class’ll be in session real soon, you nod, glancing towards Volka for assistance and receiving none apart from an unusually clueless expression even from her!

“Y-you know…” Obber remarks, the vindictive flames fading from his gaze, “I’ve n-never seen you guys before… are you n-new?”

Realizing a mistake you can’t quite perceive, the sugarseller straightens up like a tack as his eyes bulge even WIDER! “N-NOT that I mean anything by it! R-Rolo can send whoever he w-wants! I’ll pay every time!”

Part of you wants to tell this guy the truth, but with TT still passed out you feel a little residual mischief trickling into your decision making muscle…

What do?
>Extort some money!
>Tell the truth!
>Pry for more info about Rolo!
>Tell Obber he’s DONE with the mob!
>Give us something for our friend you hurt, CREEP!
>Just send the sugar to Obber and we’re done!
>Write-In!

Don’t worry–we’ll get to the other choices after THIS!
>>
>>6127589
>Tell the truth!
>Just send the sugar to Obber and we’re done!
I feel bad for this Obber.
>>
>>6127589
>You’re a keen-eyed one, aren’t you? Marking us as someone new. You should be proud.
>We’re part of the LAMPLIGHTERS, and we’re making moves on this here turf.
>ROLO doesn’t sound so keen on protecting you, what with us gettin’ here in the middle of a shakedown by some other crew. So how’s about you tell us where his boys work out of and we’ll see if we can’t, ah, reach an understandin’ with him. You know what I mean.
>Oh, and make sure Obber gets his sugar. We have a trade going on, real important ya dig? Wouldn’t want anyone to get upset.
I just want to enact mob tropes without actually being the mob since Volka’s not following along. TT can fill that role when she’s up.
>>
>>6127589
>>6127596+1
>>
>>6127602
I'm not averse to trying to sell him on relying else on gangster sand roe on LAMPLIGHTERS. Volka will appreciate that, and I appreciate Volka.

>>6127596
>>6127589
>>
>>6127596
>>6127803
>TELL THE TRUTH!
>JUST SEND THE SUGARRR

>>6127602
>WISE GUY!

>>6128265
Is this a swapped vote? I'm gonna leave the vote open for a little longer to clarify--if I don't hear anything I'll assume the votes are remaining the same.

On a similar note, I'm gonna be outta town starting Thursday evening, so expect a long-ass delay after tonight! Might even archive it this weekend if we get to page 10.
>>
Yyyyeaaaaa, sorry all--tonight's been hectic and I can barely concentrate, not to mention I'm leaving for the trip tomorrow straight after work, so I think I'm just gonna archive NOW and pick this all up in another thread! Apologies for the lack of a suitable cliffhanger!

Thanks for playing along on this admittedly experimental adventure--I'll post the archive link here in a lil bit. In the meantime, though, a few questions for YOU and a FUN ACTIVITY to boot!

Answer some, all, or none!
>What did you like about thread 1?
>What could be improved?
>Who/what do you wanna see more of?
>What do you think will happen next?!
>Who's your fave character and why?
>Who's your LEAST fave character and why?

And finally... to commemorate the end of a brand new thread:
>Draw/Describe what you think VOLKA looks like!
No wrong answers here, folks! Eager to hear what your mental image is!
>>
>>6128317
Aaaaaand archived! It might seem a little hasty, I know, but this weekend's gonna be packed and, well... better safe than sorry! Might squeeze in one last update when I get back on Mon, but we'll see.

Anyways, Thread Archive can be found here:
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2024/6095278/
Thanks again for giving this one a shot and seeya in the next thread, hopefully! Couldn't have run it without ya!
>>
>>6128298
I assume the other vote is to mention we’re with the lamplighters and they’ll do protection since, as he can see, his money isn’t covering him. Get Volka some stable support, in theory.

I assume it’s without acting like we’re part of a mob ourself, which I want to do because of my own mischief bone, but I’d settle for a partial win.

>>6128317
>Likes
Good banter, write-ins do get rewards when it makes sense, reliable posting speed, it is the first thread so there’s more to come!
>Improved
The art’s a little dark, don’t you think?

More seriously, it did seem like we didn’t have much of a chance to go a dark-side route. Not sure if intentional or not, and I’m hoping we get some serious temptations to encourage our power use.

>More
Of the environments. The jokes keep writing themselves.

Rezalith didn’t get much screentime, so I hope she makes a return somehow.

>Next
You’ll start thread 2? Please help they’re literally writing themselves and I can’t delete them.

Finishing the fetch quest by taking down a gang, a direct meeting with the temple guard, running into demons, COMMERCE (cause we need money).

>Fave
Not sure if it’s Volka or TT. Volka is sweet and gullible, but TT covers us so we can take the high road while she takes the low.

>Least
Oti. Plenty of arrogance, not enough time to prove he’s competent enough to be worth it.
>>
>>6128317
>>6128791
Forgot the most important question right as I posted, damn.

>Volka
Orange lizard, for some reason. Definitely taller than us, no real muscles since the scales hide it well.
>>
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>>6128298
My vote remains the same, apart from also mentioning that THE LAMPLIGHTERS can provide more reliable protection, with less expense. I want him to know who saved his hide.


>>6128317
>What did you like about thread 1?
The characters and their budding relationships, especially Volka, TT, Volkir, and Marook. Escellent as always.

>What could be improved?
Sometimes, the scenes sort of "cheat" with visibility in ways that seem a little off. Not a huge deal, but it always makes me do a double-take.

>Who/what do you wanna see more of?
Everything. Get it?

>What do you think will happen next?!
I can hardly wait to find out! Maybe we'll run into Rezzie? That's what I'm mainly looking forward to, as a next step.

>Who's your fave character and why?
Probably TT, because I'm a predictable little shit... Like her!

>Who's your LEAST fave character and why?
That damn chad. >:( Actually, I like them all so far.

>Draw/Describe what you think VOLKA looks like!
I picture her as a big scaly toll woman with a huge lizard tail and scraggly hair, actually. But, like, a cute one?
>>
>>6128317
>What did you like about thread 1?
Honestly, just the concept is pretty interesting on its own. I know it's a fairly bog-standard isekai but a drawuest where you "can't see anything" is neat!
>What could be improved?
I kinda get the point of these fetch quests but i just wanna see the plot go forward. Like, there's so much waiting for us and we're just being given the runaroud to get some sugar.
>Who/what do you wanna see more of?
As another said, I wanna see Anton develop his powers more and maybe learn to use them in an original way. Non-lethal pyromancer is an interesting concept.
>What do you think will happen next?!
The CIA (Cartel for the Inspection of Asses) is gonna try to get us transferred to them!
>Who's your fave character and why?
Volka is a good egg, I like her.
>Who's your LEAST fave character and why?
Maybe not my least fave since no character so far has given me a REALLY bad reaction but I'm finding TT kinda annoying. I dunno why that jumps out to me, it might be that she doesn't realy contribute in fights.

>Draw/Describe what you think VOLKA looks like!
Something like a mix of Beast Ganon from LoZ Ocarina of Time and the back of an Ankylosaurus, with scales where the plates meet the fur. And cuter. Also yeah, I feel like she'd be orange for some reason.
>>
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>>6128791
>>6128795
>>6128906
>>6130192
Thanks for the responses! Still busy on my end so I'm glad I archived, but I'm happy to hear that (for the most part) the quest has been cool so far! Rest assured that the next thread will include the following (probably):
>Actual progression!
>More demonic/nondemonic powers!
>Thrills! Chills! Spills!
>More 'humor'
>More characters--whether ya like 'em or not!
>Backstorrrry?
>More TT getting comeuppance
>More dastardly foes!
>Rezalith? If she FEELS like it!
>More darkness!
>Shenanigans!
>More 'art'!

Interesting theories on Volka too--I know it sounds like a cop-out, but I genuinely DO like the exercise of seeing what everyone thinks the characters look like. I can safely say the image of our fave Skog gal in my head is fairly different from all of y'all's, but that's the MAGIC of it all, right?

I don't have an ETA for the next thread, but I can imagine it'll probably go up some time this week assuming things cool down a bit. Until then I hope to see you in the next thread--I'll be lurking in here until it drops off the board if you have any clarifying questions or more crap to post! Couldn't have done it without ya, so thanks for playing!
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>>6130291
Well, here be my headcanon for Volka. Who knows, she might even be green!
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>>6130361
Nah wait this is canon everyone else go home
>>
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>>6130379
Sorry, I got word from God on this:
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>>6130431
It takes a LOTTA moxie to post my secret concept art... you're on thin ice, bucko
>>
>>6130361
I don’t see Anton mentioning fur when he was used as a teddy bear, just softness and scales. Does she shed scales, or is QM messing with us?

Could go either way, honestly.
>>
>>6130883
Many reptiles DO shed.
>>
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Hey all, I know we're still lingering on the catalog like a rogue dingleberry, but I'm thinkin' the next thread will probably go up some time next week! Until then thanks for playing--hope you come back to the next one!
>>
>>6131724
We'll be there, OP!



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