Prepare for an X-Mas invasion.

Masquerade as Santa Claus as you give toys to children worldwide.

Little do they know, the toys are mind control devices!

>>7262453
Second

rolled 1, 1, 13 = 15

>>7262453
I thought we were taking a different approach. Scan secluded parts of the planet for secret things.

>>7262453

thirded

Begin brewing some gingerbread cocoa.

>>7262453

Fuck that.

Let's locate the REAL santa, and usurp his throne!

Prepare a nice dinner for X-mas

Also fund a giant project to install one of those giant balls in every major city

Insert Virus into said balls to be released uupon the new year

Inside it could be anything :EMP's Lolifaction nanobots, Whatever, Hell make our own drug to stick in there to get the crowd's high

>>7262453
>>7262521
COMBINE THE TWO!

With Santa's stockpile of toys, it would save time. Just insert the mind control device.

>>7262453
>>7262488
>>7262505
>>7262521
>>7262548
>Ruin Christmas.

I guess you could, if you really want to.

>>7262586

We're not ruining it, we're making it BETTER!

Give every child on earth a destructo-laser-o'-doom :O

>>7262586

D'awww. <:c

>>7262586
No no no! We'll activate the mind control chips AFTER X-mas.

Let the kids have their fun on X-Mas Day. :D

>>7262586
We're not ruining anything. What young child wouldn't want a mind control santa in their life? They can use it to mind control whoever they want!

...wait, wait, what do you mean it puts them under OUR control?

>>7262621
We'll celebrate Boxing Day by inaugurating our rule over all of the children who are Christians that still believe in Santa Claus.

Then we'll start taking over the rest of the world's children, one late-year religious festival at a time!

>>7262596

I like this plan. Fund it!

All the world's children are to be given "My first Mad Scientist laboratory kit"!

>>7262668
Actually, that's a real book.

"The Golden Book of Chemistry", I believe it is.

And it's fucking awesome. There's pdfs of it on the web.

>>7262668
Hmm... and set up the kits so that if there are any truly genius prodigies out there who use it, we can be alerted and take them on as our proteges.

>You have gained (1) Alien secretary of questionable value from your prior adventure.

QuaziBaroness is enough of a problem. Check in with Three & see if she'd OK with this. Come on guy - you've got enough chicks running around as it is.

rolled 1, 14, 10 = 25

I can't think of anything. We don't have much of a goal here.

>>7262695
I believe that the Baroness suffered an inexplicable malfunction in our absence. 3 was very sorry that she, ah, was unable to prevent it.

>>7262680

Excellent. We print out/buy/steal enough of it, throw in a tesla coil with every package, and we're gold!

Go deliver presents to the world.

>>7262621
>>7262650
>>7262661
One moment please. You seem to be suffering a terrible moral dilemma. It must be done. You know it must, if only to forward your ambitions, if only to in the end destroy that insipid woman Elizabeth!

>>7262781
Seems this bad guy has a heart of gold

OK. So, we're gonna mind nuke da chillins' an play Santie Claws with Madam Secretary?

>>7262796

>>7262781
you should get the base in the christmas spirit with decorations. Also you should attempt to illiminate the use of "happy holidays." FUCK CORRECTNESS ITS MERRY CHRISTMAS

Wait.

Don't we have a FTW button at that location?

WHAT DID YOU JUST DO YOU MORON!

>>7262781
Go listen to "Chiron Beta Prime", and realize that the only hope of Christmas presents ever reaching the children again following the robot revolution is if Santa is replaced by someone stronger. Someone like us.

>>7262904

Evil robot loli Santa?

Go watch the Pinky and the Brain Christmas special. Nod sagely.

>>7262951

Take notes.

>>7262880
Moving on.

Let's get a pathetic example of Democracy in here.
[]Ruin Christmas
[]Make Christmas Awesome
[]Other

First one to 3 we will go with.

>>7262966
3

>>7262966
Make Christmas Awesome

>>7262966
>[X]Make Christmas Awesome

rolled 3 = 3

[x] Other

[x]Make Christmas Awesome

With SCIENCE!

>>7262966

We can't ruin Christmas. We're not that bad.

Make Christmas Awesome.

>>7262977

Marry Three - jet to the moon.

FINAL DESTINATION!

[x]Make Christmas Awesome

We have the technology

>>7262966
Ruin Christmas and then Make It Awesome

The Bad Guy taketh, and then the Bad Guy giveth away.

>>7262966
[x] MAKE CHRISTMAS AWESOME

[x] ruin xmas

[x] marry Three

[x] save xmas

>>7262880
Please send more

Looks like we're making Christmas awesome. LET'S DO THIS!

[x] missing chads

make chrismas so awesome that it ruins it

>>7262974
>>7262975
>>7262981
They made it first.

>>7262892
Merry Christmas

[x] Create shower for Three. Sneak peek thru keyhole.

>>7263083
Brilliant. Our Christmas, crafted with SCIENCE!, will be so incredible that every other Christmas will be ruined for whoever experienced it.

>>7263100
The first bit is our Christmas gift to Three, the second bit is our Christmas gift to ourself.

>>7262966

I say we make it awesome, so long as "awesome" means "mind-controlled child minions." That's awesome, right? And besides, if they were mind-controlled, Christmas couldn't be ruined! We control their minds: they don't have the choice to be sad.

>>7263097

Ah, good ol' Doom-Fortress. I remember when we first made it. And you were like, this is so retarded. I like to think that it's grown on you since then.

>>7263065

What the hell is this? Is that cleavage I see on the Enraged Scientist?

One plan:

To make Christmas awesome, we have to know what people really want. Not what they think they want, what they really, really want in the dark, dank depths of their souls. Also snow.

We must design and build a mind-reading weather control satellite.

>>7263257

I suggest this plan
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7245208/
But with -SCIENCE-

yes, this is very bad.... umm ... were are we going with this again?

>>7263257
Also use political connections to make saying Merry Christmas okay once more.

Could we at least get drunk with Three?

And play that guitar some.

>>7263367

Can an entity with no physical body and exists only as a computer-intelligence get drunk? Or shower, for that matter?

>>7263100
>>7263114
This is a sound strategy.
>>7263170
It really did.
>>7263245
Nah. He used to dress with a bit more flare. Had a poofy shirt and everything.
>>7263257
This seems like it would take a few more days than you have to spare.
>>7263321
Your guess is as good as mine at this point.
>>7263326
Easily done.

>>7263380

Yes.

And that's probably a bad thing. So let's skip it.

I'm still insisting on the shower scene.

>>7263412

Well, I say we give every child on the planet a specially marked Enraged Scientist Brand Enraged Science Kit for Christmas, featuring such fun projects as "Make a Backyard Volcano" "Building your very own Trebuchet" and "Death Rays 101".

>>7263412

Achievement unlocked: Naughty Xmas!

OK! We're good to go now. Let's roll up our sleeves & get to work on that awesome part.

Oh, dear! Whatever will we get the wife for Christmas? And the kiddos, too! We were so caught up in making Christmas great for everyone that we forgot our own family! What a terrible father we are.

Also, using we makes it sound as though I have schizophrenia. Or am a British monarch.

>>7263380
>Can an entity with no physical body and exists only as a computer-intelligence get drunk? Or shower, for that matter?
dunno. but i bet you can engineer a program or virus that replicates the effects of being drunk.

and another to simulate the feeling of taking a shower.

>>7263257
So start an Ice-age with the excuse "Hey, it's your own damn fault for all wishing for snow at the same time."

>>7263412
You know how you make christmas awesome? Propose to three via science and the miracle of Christmas.

>>7263468
...hardware upgrades for everyone!

Holy shit, I missed the last entry.

Hmmm...As a Christmas gift to ourself, engage in medical dialogue with a peer. Such as Blackjack. I'm pretty sure we can discover all sorts of fantastic medical procedures from him.

>>7263484
Let's make her into a borg. Like the borg queen was doing to Data in first contact, slowly integrating fabricated flesh onto/into him.

>>7263440
This happens.

>>7263468
Well what should you get 3 and the kids?

>>7263474
To add to this, I still wonder why no one has ever thought about where 3's flesh and blood body is.

>>7263514

We already have a medical expert on staff. We got her by taking the brain of a competitor and shoving it inside a loli-robot nurse. We need more medical knowledge, we'll do the same again.

>>7263484
Wern't we going to do something like shoot rockets at the moon when we did that?

>>7263545

nightmares.jpg

>>7263545

I always just assumed that she had her flesh-and-blood body destroyed so as to retain the purity of machine or some such nonsense, given how into "AI transferal is the only way!" she was. Maybe we should ask her about it.

>>7263545

You know... That is probably a line of thought we should persue...

>>7263551
Not a slave, someone we could actually consider an equal if we wern't allready superior to everyone else. By Jove! There are so few people our lovable Scientist can relate to, that just chilling out now and then with someone who won't go "hurr' or 'Yes master' whenever we talk science would be fabulous!

>>7263545
why do you have to over complicate things by inventing in something buy up nintendo and get all the kids Wii's

>>7263422
Your words say hate, but your expression says otherwise.

>>7263607

Because that's just lazy. Also, a Nintendo Wii will only last about 7 years, while a solid grounding in Enraged Science will last a lifetime.

Screw christmas, let's science a large number of created human men that are gay, good looking, and sparkle. We will send them out to lure away and abduct the women-foke so that they may become part of our harem. Fool proof part being they are gay, and that in giving us all the worlds women will make it easier for all of them to make their own harem of men.

>>7263732

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to piss off a woman who has fully integrated with our Flying Doom-Fortress. I mean, like all good Scientists we have an override code, but would we really want to use it over a silly little spat?

>>7263514

go read the kid's diaries and find out what they want most in the world.

>>7263782
Follow up: then get it for them.

>>7263782
>>7263785
see
>>7263440

We've already done Christmas shopping for the world.

>>7263770
I love you. Anyways, get those mad scientist gift packages out! Include a coupon for a tailor-made lab coat, and offer a video for practicing evil laughs and gloating. Oh! For girls, there should be 'Little miss femme fatales' (Shut up pedos) kits where girls can get tips from 3 on how to be elegant and wrap boys around your finger.

Lets see a list of henchmen and minions. We can work down the list and figure out the best gifts for everyone.

obviously we'll start with... lets see... a bone for our doggy hench, a laser duster for laser maid... umm... who else?

>>7263770
Now, add some Franken Fran. Please.
PLEASE?!??!?

>>7263821
our kids, dumbass

>>7263825

Am I the only one who thinks that Three will suddenly but inevitably betray us to Elizabeth, whom she was working for all along, only to discover afterword that she really does love us and will come to our rescue? 'Cause that's totally what's gonna happen.

>>7263890
Wut.

>>7263890
are you kidding? she was the one who suddenly but inevitably betrayed elizabeth to come work with us, remember?

Oh, and also.

>>7263782
>>7263785
No dice man. Raven keeps her Diary in her spiders habitat and she's doing that "dark and brooding" thing again.

The other Diaries are most likely with their respective owners, all of who will be returning to the evil base the day before Christmas.

>>7263961

That's just how these things work out. We meet a sworn Soviet enemy and sweep her off her feet with our roguish charm and dashing good looks, when she's the one playing us. Once she's wormed her way into a position of trust, she'll begin sending information to Elizabeth, whom Three still works for. She will then lead us into a trap reluctantly, and when we are caught, she will realize what she's done, crying, tear-streaked "I didn't mean it like this!" as you look on in horror. Elizabeth will be laughing all the while, then Three will stage a daring rescue-attempt snatching us from under Elizabeth's nose because she found out that, after some serious self-reflection, she had really fallen in love with us.

Geez. I thought it was obvious.

>>7264015
Pish posh and fiddlesticks. As if we couldnt trust our gorgeous, intelligent, perfect waifu.

>>7264002
Then use the coppies that automatically scan into the main computers from the super awesome hightech holodiaries that we make them use. Duh. It should automatically update after each entry, and aught to be reasonably up to date.

could we seriously have a list of henchmen and notable minions?

>>7264002
Ask her what she would like for christmas

>>7263829
Minions get a single holiday party with punch and fruitcake.

>>7264015

I mean, didn't anyone find it the least bit suspicious that Three abandoned her life work to be with the Enraged Scientist after one evening? Seriously, you guys, this story is so old is positively mythopoeic.

>>7264122
you underestimate the extent of our super sexy genius.

Side note: Have our candy companies give away free candy all christmas. That'll be good for the spread of our super adictive candy goodness.

>>7263836
There. That ate up a bit more time than anticipated.

>>7264262

motherofgod.jpg

>>7264262
You magnificent bastard. There are no words to describe how awesome you are.

>>7264262

He seems a bit nervous. Maybe some surgery will cheer him up!

get the alien secretary a necklace that looks like her old planet.
get lolibond a super girly doll with a little chip in it that will send out a signal subliminally ordering lolibond's robo-loli brain to both want to and enjoy playing with it.
get sherlolihoromes an elegant, handcarved ivory bubblepipe.
get our dog a bone
give namelessloli a sadle so that she can ride her frankenstein around more easilly

>>7264309
>>7264317
Don't worry. I'll find a way to disappoint you guys later.

>>7264103
She says she's not really sure. For a moment she hesitates before asking "What does Christmas mean to you?"

>>7264406
Christmas is that evil time of the year when parents bury their children in gifts to apologize not seeing them during the whole year.
Or something like that.

>>7264406

"Well, dear, when you cut through all the excess commercialism and advertisement, and all the iconography, Christmas is about, at its heart, spending time with those you love, being with your family. Everything else is an addon. So, this Christmas, I'd just like to spend some time with you."

>>7264406
Why family, friends, goodwill towards minion and world peace under my merciless iron grip, of course.

Have we gotten our revenge? Are we just dicking around at this point?

>>7264528
we're working on it. Chill dude, it's christmas.

>>7264528

It's Christmas. Even the most ardent vengeance-seeker needs a break once in a while.

the day that some green guy steals it, or something

>>7264427
>>7264442
These two are kinda funny.

>>7264433
This one's kinda cheesy.

>>7264528
We're dicking around in a celebratory Christmas-like fashion. What are you going to do about it?

>>7264651

Now it's my turn:

Wut.

>>7264651

It's totally cheesy. But it's also appropriate, given that you sprung the equally-cheesy robo-daughter asking us what the true meaning of Xmas is.

>>7264651
get nannyminion a ticket for a day at the spa
get awesomeminion a clone backup body for just in case he dies
get the rest of our minions a huge christmas bonus
get our nurse minion a shiny new set of custom scalples, perfectly fitted for her smaller hands.
send scotloli and the scottsman a bottle of the finest scotch in the world, then send about fifty more trucks of the stuff.

>>7264752
fuck, didn't mean to quote >>7264651
I think that's everyone, baroness being dead and all... who am i missing?

>>7264752

Well, there are our other four loli-robo-daughters, our cyber-waifu, Sherloli Horo and Watson, James Bond trapped in a loli body, and I think a few of the other "Number Xs" who we've lolified.

>>7264662
I don't even know.
>>7264392
>>7264752
Whoever is listing this stuff is practically writing out the recipe for making gold.

>>7264814

Oh, also Nameless Minion, and Nameless Minion Robo-Loli.

>>7264817
Whelp, it's official. Best Christmas ever.

>>7264843
see
>>7264392
The daughters are tough, as is 3. but yeah, watson and maybe a few of the numbers... A list of our current employees would be helpful.

but let's see... Raven knows about the anime based on them, right? or maybe we should get something related to the spider... how about a robot spider for her pet spider? hrmm...

I'm gonna pull a quick archive dive to get the personalities of the loli's.

>>7264817

rageface.jpg

I was about to go to sleep. WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT!?

Alright, fine. Fine. I'm cool. Um....have we given determined minion a gift, yet?

>>7264916

Sometimes I'm really glad they're just robots. Otherwise we might have to have The Talk at some point, and that would be awkward for everyone.

Ach! *cough cough* Hmm...Outragous accent makes my throat sore. Anyways, please lend me your ear for a short while Loli-Bond, I have something to say that you won't like, but must be said.
To be brief, I have come on behast of my patron to offer you employment. He offers a good work schedule, pay, benefits, and most imprtantly, respect.
Your father, Scientist has been unkind in his treatment of you, he calls you up to demand your work and teases you relentlessly, and after you give him your hard earned information, you don't hear from him again unless he wants more. Even Loli-Homes is treated better than you have been.
My patron offers you a place in his orginization and promises he will show you the respect a smart, talented young lady like yourself deserves. He will not tease you and embarass you about boys, and will show proper respect for your hard-work. If you wish to take this opportunity, just contact me and I will pass along the good news. Good day to you.

Practice evil laughs with Desty Nova

>>7265015

Too bad we implanted a mind-control device and a remote detonator! Unless, of course, you like the idea of infiltrating a toxic dire-weasel infested Flying Doom Fortress to retrieve these two separate devices. Also, we have attack squid now. And lots of spiders. And internal turrets.

>>7265025

We must speak with him, if only to acquire his super-delicious secret flan recipe.

>>7264972
I was avoiding 4chan like the plague. Server problems leave me raging harder than just not being able to view the page at all.

Besides, Mass Effect is a helluva drug.

>>7265126

Perhaps. But I waited. I WAS UP ALL NIGHT. I..well, I would have been up all night anyway, damn you insomnia...but this is besides the point!


Back onto game stuff. The bad-ass minion we have...perhaps we should give him some proper cyberware? Or a healing factor?

>>7265126

I almost feel sorry for the alien bitch. *Almost*. How about we hook her up with some of that faggy crystal-tech she seems to enjoy so much? Or better yet, hook her up with Determined Minion now that he's on the dating scene again.

>>7265025
Which one? Isn't there about 3 or 5 of him running around?

>>7265211

ALL OF THEM

get #8 (laser maid) a laser duster - it's like a lightsaber, only it's a duster
get Mary Sue a fine set of leather bound, gold leafed dictionaries in every language spoken on earth. She is a nerd and a public speaker, and while she may not ever actually need the dictionaries, they represent a powerful symbol about the wealth of the human tongue and the richness of those who can use it's words effectivly, and I think she'll like that.
get Jasmine and Bella a pair of matching diamond necklaces that, when you look into them, shows a readout of the direction and distance to the other necklace. No matter what seperates them, they will allways know where the other is, they will always be able to be there for eachother.
get Lolita... fuck, sci doesnt like Lolita much, does he? Um. I'd say a gift certificate or something if he was feeling cruel, but more realistically a pair of drumsticks carved from fossilized dino-bone, coated with a thin layer of indestructable nanomachines that make them unbreakable and allow them to produce beautifully full and loud percussions regardless of what your banging them against. That way she gets to be extra obnoxious and annoying, which she'll cherish.

now Raven and 3... Hmm...

>>7265126
Just to confirm, alien bitch has that translator that makes everything she says come out super subservient, right?

>>7265228
You son of a bitch.

>>7265247

Well, how about we get Raven an embellished Spider Owner's Manual? Or some sort of book detailing how to properly care for spiders. For Three... shit, that's hard. Um, how about we use our SCIENCE! powers to carve a romantic message on the moon. Or maybe use fireworks to display a love-poem. I dunno.

>>7265015
This man brings up a good point. We don't call lolibond enough unless we want something. Be sure to write a reminder to ourselves to give him more social calls.

>>7265315
Elizabeth beat us to the moon right?

Gentlemen, I don't think the moon looks nearly enough like a giant heart with the number 3 burned into the middle, do you?

>>7265325

I actually think that loli-bond actually likes it that way; the less he has to do with us, the better.

>>7265344
seconded

>>7265351
Exactly.

>>7265247
get raven a robotic raven that will act as a familiar

Well, we should throw a bitchin' party & invite everyone.

With the provision that they don't have to attend & can just take some time off with an extra bonus.

See, theres so much stuff we can do with Raven... but I get the feeling she just kinda wants to live a normal geekish life. If we gave her spider super intelligence or something she'd get mad at us for ruining her pet... she doesnt show any interest in our super high tech stuff...

Oh! How about we get her a library of every anime ever made? or better yet, a quantum library containing all anime ever made and every anime that ever potentially made? Infinite anime.

Oh, by the way, do we have a reason to suspect that three still has a body stashed away somewhere?

I think we should free her or otherwise make sure she's OK with her situation.

Also .. is our electric guitar water safe for shower duty?

>>7265424

No. Just good anime.

>>7265424
UNLIMITED ANIME WORKS

Weren't we going to send DETERMINED MINION and NANNY MINION to couples consoling? Those two are just perfect for each other.

>>7265311
Go for the classic one

Still with us Sci? Don't Gnoll us now, ya hear?

Mph?

>>7265713
MPH!

>>7265691

Per...perhaps he's making a super drawing, with everything we suggested?

>>7265723
Mph

>>7265739
Mph *pant* Mph

>>7265736
oh god i hope that would be a christmas miracle.

>>7265747
MPHHHHH!!!!

>>7265228
Never again.

>>7265775
I-..it's beautiful...

Check on 3's physical body.

DO IT.

You are boss, dude.
Anyays, we gotta get the party going. I'm sure we got all the usual crap for snacks. If we get stumped for gifts for loli-goth, I'm sure that a big Hot Topic gift card will make her happy. Perhaps get her favorite goth band to do a live performance.

>>7265775

*Applause*

>>7265775
After a bit of prodding, 3 eventually lets you know where her body is. She doesn't really see the point though considering. Apparently, she had a chamber built in secret under Lenon's Mausoleum. In the worst case scenario of her massive computer and servers failing, her body would be kept cryogenic stasis.

>>7265836
>a big Hot Topic gift card will make her happy.

Fuck that! BUY HER HOT TOPIC! THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!

Ok, gift list...
#3 (waifu) - we carve the moon into a giant heart with the number 3 in the middle
#4 (nurse) - fitted scalpels
#6 (lolidoggy) - a bone
#8 (maid) - laser duster
Mary Sue - dictionaries
Jasmine and Bella - Matching radar necklaces
Lolita - Uber drumsticks
Raven - Ultimate unlimited anime works
Scotish loli and McGruffin - Trucks and trucks of the worlds finest scotch.
Sherloli holmes - Handcarved ivory bubblepipe
Nanny minion - Day at the spa
Determined minion - Cyborg parts or backup body.
Generic Minions - Huge christmas bonus!
Alien Secretary - Planet shaped necklace
Lolibond - Irresistable super-girly doll.
Nameless Loli - Zombie saddle

oh, and watson needs like... a monocle that zooms in and doubles as a magnifying glass

are we missing anyone?

>>7266016
now take pictures of her body.

without her knowing.

>>7266016

Right. She's OK with that, were OK with that.

Knowledge is a gift & we want to especially thank her for that tip. Don't creep her out - we're just tying up loose ends.

She is OK with her situation, right?

>>7266066

Veto!

Not without her permission. She's earned it.

Well, not regarding her floaty blue avatar. A little holiday naughtiness to add to the festivities is fine in that regard.

But we covered that.

>>7265775
I don't normally partake in these threads but I wanted to say that is one of the best things I have ever seen.
Good job Scientist.

>>7266143
Thanks man. I don't brag too often, but even I feel pretty fucking awesome after drawing that.

>>7264220
I think we need to seriously consider this idea here. It seems to have been overlooked.

>>7266241
You have a very excited business conversation over the phone with a few of the people in charge of candy production. Making sure to emphasize each syllable with a slap of your hand on the desk, you let them know you're serious about the free candy for Christmas idea.

Then you wish them a Merry Christmas, except for the Jewish guys. For them, you just slap the desk a bunch. That and feel awkward.

>>7266376
now quit dicking around and get your holiday shopping done. and don't forget the free SCIENCE! for all the kids of the world.

>>7266376
We told them to get us PICTURES! PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN! Right?

Fuck, I wish I could stay and see how this turns out, but I have to be up early tommorow. Goodnight Sci, and Merry Christmas.

>>7266398
You better believe we have some serious Christmas shopping to do.
>>7266405
But of course we did! Any clue as to where that arachnid freak is would help us get on with our mad quest.
>>7266526
You're not missing anything man. It's 3 here and I'm pretty much ready to sleep. See you guys. Most likely I'll have a quick Christmas thread up. Hell, it'll be like a party. Just don't get gay about it and put on a drama, unless there are explosions.

>>7266594
Night sci, see you then.

>>7266594
Hope to see you again soon! Merry Christmas Sir!

>>7262410
holy fuck, i missed badguy quest. did the badguy quests get archived?