A mixture of both + a hint of control freak/sadism.

Pffffft, lol

Where are you playing this shittiness? Sounds like you got yourself an aspergersDM.

I can understand different levels of trying to handle some realism.
But that is just stupid.

but familiars dont have to eat or breathe

Have your character just stop eating. Like, whenever food comes up, openly declare your character doesn't eat. Or drink.

Alternatively, go into ludicrous detail. Detail taking shits in the woods. How you grope and fuck barmaids. The way you smell after a long time on the road. Agonisingly detailed descriptions; if he wants realism, give him fucking realism.

>Ulric the ranger moves to attack, but suddenly soils his pants because he hasn't defecated this session. -6 charisma until he changes and showers.

Really, thing's just don't die from not being fed, I'd imagine to make it fair your DM would point out that your familiar is really fatigued.

>>10098576

That's... that's not hyperrealist. A hungry animal doesn't just sit around looking normal then OH I M DED.

A hyperrealist DM would make your familiar irritate the shit out of you till it got fed, or have it go hunting/foraging.

Your DM is either a troll or a retard. Can't be sure.

One would hope that a familiar would be smart enough to feed itself.

>>10098670
> Extra vinegar-ey

Most likely a retard.

I had a similiar experience with a DM, except it was on a PC. We were shipwrecked, and floating along on flotsam, one PC down at negatives.

We treated his wounds, but then one of the days the DMs said he was dead. We asked why, and the DM told us we had forgot to give him water. We asked what, and he told us we never specifically mentioned that we gave him water.

>>10098576
DAWWW, what a cute sleeping birdie. I love those little birds that just hop around all hyper-like :3

>>10098762

I mourn for your loss, OP.

...Can't familiars communicate with their master?

Why the fuck did the familiar just up and die without, I dunno, asking for food? If it can't talk, it's still way more intelligent than a normal animal, being a familiar. It should have bugged him or something.

Don't you have a telepathic link with a familiar? Once that goes both ways? Isn't that the whole point of a familiar?

This isn't hyperrealism. What's happened is for whatever reason, the DM doesn't like a player or character and uses a situation as an excuse to kill them.

Think of it like this..

The DM hates the character/player but unwilling to confront him with it. So he hurts the character/player in a way that is both arbitrary (Little rational) but in a way that upsets them (DM knows it is bullshit).

The idea is to make that person quit the game because your DM is a pussy.

So it's neither Hyperrealist or retarded. He's just a pussy

>>10098576
I remember once, during a tense situation where my party was crossing a rope bridge in a dense jungle. We were getting hunted by angry man-eating baboons at the time.

Suddenly he tells me that because of that huge meal I ate, as well as the mushrooms from earlier, my character now has to shit megabad and will literally deposit bricks soon.

It didn't end well.

>>10098816
All Wizards have an empathic link with their Familiar at level 1, and can out-and-out communicate with it telepathically as though speaking past level 10 or so I think.
Also, Familiars don't need to eat. They have a magical relationship with you that sustains them; to all intents and purposes, you ARE them, which is why you are able to cast spells through them and why you take damage as though you'd taken a horrible shock when they die.

I call bullshit.

>>10098981
sorry to mention, we play 3.5.
Per 3.5 rules, familiars are magical beasts which need to eat, sleep and breathe.

>>10098998

Doesn't matter. See

>>10098715

1) Real Life: Start a fight. Try to get them to throw the first punch, flip the table, throw things. Do this at their house. Tear their books and notes.

2) Online: DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO RUIN THEIR CAMPAIGN. Plot with other players that hate this GM. Find their emails, facebooks, identities, Chat ID's, etc and see if you can't use them to fuck with this person.

>>10100669
That's an awful lot for something as minor as a dead familiar in a role playing game

>>10101015

Also, it's not worth it. I once bashed my DM in the negative (he lost consciousness) with the dungeon masters guide, straight in the face. He fell back and hit the wall with his head.

Suddenly, everyone was on their feet (which DIDNT happen as the DM pushed me arround/insulted me). But I still was the first one to call an ambulance.

Was nothing that serious though. But on of my bro made "WHOS DUNGEON MASTER NOW" an annoying catchphrase-reminder for me to keep my temper.

>>10101015
It's not nearly enough!
OP's DM sucks at DMing. If I were him (OP) I'd just stop playing, it's clearly not much fun to play in his game.

When I run games, I run under the assumption that It's my job to make sure everybody in the party is having a good time; and that if I suck at my job, they will leave.
You don't have to put up with shitty DMing.

>>10101103

I think this story needs to be told.

>>10101150

Maybe tomorrow, it's 3 AM now and I have to get up for uni in 4 hours.

>>10101103
I have to hear this!

>>10101195

Alright, alright. Short version or cinematic one? I have to warn you, last one is gonna take a little while, also my english isn't perfect & I lack sleep.

Still interested?

>>10101188

I'll hold you to that!

Besides, sleep is overrated.

BURN THE MIDNIGHT OIL!

>>10101222
Brace for it...

>Tear their books and notes.
>Damage thirty five dollars worth of books or more

Enjoy never gaming in that area again.

4e is superior, with its OotS derived familiar mechanics

>>10101222

Oh yes.

LET THE STORYTIEM BEGIN!

>>10101287
note: said betterness is only claimed to pertain to familiar rules and should not be construed as EDITION WARZ TIEM

>>10101316
Good Call.

>>10101287
>>10101316

I actually liked 3.0's handling of the paladin mounts better then 3.5. But I think the real issue is that the mechanics are simply emulating what the players do any damn way- ignore familiars/warhorses/cohorts exist until the exact moment they're needed.

It's the rulebook throwing it's metaphysical arms in the air and going OH WELL FUCK IT

So, we were playing a german role-playing game called "DSA", which translates to "The black eye". The playing group was made of people I knew, it was 1 bro tier friend, his little brother and 1 guy I didn't really know.

The DM attended school with me, this is how I got into all of this. I was reading an RPG-book in school, again, and he was like "Oh, DSA? I thought about starting a group, interested?". Of course, I was. Little did I know what was to come.
Well, first off, I knew that guy was a little of a racist. He used to make WW2 jew jokes all the time, and admittitly, there is nothing wrong with a joke here and then, as long as everyone gets one on their cost. He also mistreated his gf, which was a friend of mine, but I was k with that, because as long as the girl would stay with him, it was her fault. No bad feelings.

Well, first time playing, in his house... well, his parents house. Group rally! His brother plays a warrior from a knight academy, my bro tier friend plays a female elf ranger, the one guy plays... I think it was a pirate, but I'm not so sure anymore. Anyway, I decide that even as muc h as I'd like to play something that kicks ass, this group has enough of those. So I say I play a (medival) doctor/medic. One from the southern people.

"What, you want to play a nigger?"

>>10101422

... or the rulebook *physically* punching out the lights of one who is disregarding its teachings in a manner most heinous.

WHO'S THE DM NOW

>>10101429

Oh boy! This is going to be good!

Whatever you do, don't forget to feed your henchmen. You don't want them dropping off too. Also, be sure to tell your DM every time you inhale and exhale, otherwise you might pass out.

"The ruined hall stretches far into the darkness, shadows from your torch dan--"
"I inhale."
"Uh. Okay. Um... dancing along its crumbling walls. Although its impossible to make out details in the flickering light, the walls--"
"I exhale."
"Uh... in the... uh... flickering light... of the torch... you can't see any details. But the wherever the walls are intact, you discern fading--"
"I inhale."
"I inhale too."
"Wait, does anybody remember if I inhaled or exhaled last time?"

>>10101429
>The Black Eye
Isn't that the fucking hardcore one? With negative attributes as well as positive attributes? The one that spawned the Realms of Arkania PC games?

Familiars aren't real animals. Your DM is a retard.

>>10101422
Also, the 4e treatment of familiars is more in line with familiars of myth rather than Disney Magic Animal Bullshit.

Familiars are always either projections of the witch or mage's own spirit, or another spirit taking on physical form, NEVER a mundane animal given unnatural intelligence.

>>10101518

Yes. DSA has a preset setting which is binding, and a set of very strict rules. It also has an amazing amount of background fluff and optional rules. All in all, it is a great system, and you know what you're getting into.

Well, not in this case:

"No. I'm playing a medic from the southern people. They have a darker skin, but I took a -feat- that allows me to look totally unrecognizable, since I prefer to be an unseen helper."

"Alright. Just letting you know there are SOME racists out there?"

"Oh, I read the setting. Racism is not that big an issue anywhere, and absolutly none where our campain is gonna start. Right?"

"Yeah, sure! It's all like it's in the books!"

Well, I HAD a bad feeling about this.

"Playing that... now I'm sure you're gay!"

"Well yeah, gay but happy"

It was no big deal. He made these jokes a lot, and I never took those to heart. I mean, whats the big deal? Someone calls me gay, I laugh it off, noone gets hurt, everyone profits. It's common as a guy with long hair.
I'm not shitting you with his next statement. It seems unbelievable to me now that I write it, but this is really what he said.

"Should've known from your girlfriend. Now wherever does she hide her dick?"

>>10098596
Why is it that every time someone does something you don't like nowadays it's "HERP DERP AUTIST"?

>he handles a schedule of when we have to defecate
Freud would say that he got stuck on the anal stage.

>>10101566
>"Should've known from your girlfriend. Now wherever does she hide her dick?"

>>10101429
You know what other trip"friend" avatarfagged with an annoying anime character and derailed threads to talk about himself?

Jim Profit.

>>10101566

>"Should've known from your girlfriend. Now wherever does she hide her dick?"

>>10101566
>"Should've known from your girlfriend. Now wherever does she hide her dick?"

You're a stronger man than me. I would have left then and there.

>>10101574
I'd say that low-level autism/aspergers is more prevalent in tabletop gaming than in most subcultures. I work at a LGS... I see this... some of the most mouth-breathiest, neck-beardiest people in the world.

>>10101607

You are a faggot.

Please continue, Lazerus.

>>10101607

Shush you.

Also

>"Should've known from your girlfriend. Now wherever does she hide her dick?"

REACTIONFACE.JPG

>"Should've known from your girlfriend. Now wherever does she hide her dick?"
Let's do this.

>>10101617
Unless you're a hardy English northerner. Then you'd make him swallow his teeth and shove the rulebook up his ass.

>>10101641
>>10101626
You're just upset because it's true.

>>10101623
You should join the military for a term sometime. See the world a bit, and find that everyone everywhere is a dysfunctional creep.

>>10101617

>implying that's not the exact moment that he leaned over the table and smashed his face in

>>10101669
Join the military! See new aspies?

>>10101667

No, no, you have to use a macro + meme. Like this one. This is a good one, this particular image.

+1 for doing your homework though.

>>10101667
It's true. Profit was a tripfag and an avatarfag, and derailed threads to talk about himself.

Now piss off.

"Ok listen, I have no problems with you calling me gay, but talking like that about my gf is outta line!" I hated saying that, because it meant he finally hit a spot I cared about with his jokes. But he just laughed, waved, and continued.

So we start playing.
"You all sit together in the tavern."
I felt like... ok, I know this works for the classic D&D group, but in this case I was going to be a little bitchy about this.

"A warrior with a 2-h sword, a medic from the southern people, an ELF and a pirate just happened to meet at a random table in a town where none of us actually has buisness?"

"Well, you all know each other for a long time now and use to travel together. You thought going north would be a good idea."

Eh. Ok. Whatever. Take a deep breath. Take those 3 pages of character story you wrote, and just hit delete. It's ok. Nothing of value will be lost.

We all order drinks. The pirate makes friends with some mercenaries from the next table. One of them looks taller and more muscular then the others, and drinks the strongest drink they have like water. The pirate wants to earn some points with him and makes for the bartender, only to see him (behind the counter, of course) spit in my drink.

"Filthy southern bastard"

>>10101706
How is this derailing when everyone asked for his story?

>>10101704
Why the fuck did this make me laugh so much?

>>10101667
Whilst your points are technically true, Jim Profit didn't wait to be asked before derailing a thread to talk about him.

(probably should mention elves and the like are incredably rare and rarely have buisness outside their settlements)

>>10101607
I couldn't care less if this guy WAS Profit.
He's being interesting and telling a /tg/ related story people want to hear.

Still, fun observation.

>>10101707
>GM going out of his way to piss you off
Dude, did you molest him before this or something?

>>10101723
That was a response to the guy implying AL is the same as Profit. Obviously, I don't share that opinion.

>Take those 3 pages of character story you wrote, and just hit delete. It's ok. Nothing of value will be lost.

>Take those 3 pages of character story you wrote, and just hit delete. It's ok. Nothing of value will be lost.

>>10101794
>>10101818
Feels bad man

Well how about you do that shit then?

Honestly, Jim Profit has been gone for quite some time. I haven't even seen him mentioned in months.

Whoever is telling this story, carry on.

your DM is a faggot.

I know a guy just like that.

I'm not letting him DM my group and found another guy to DM our next game.

"Did I see that?"

"No, you didn't. Remember, you were making dice to gamble with."

"Oh, right."

Well, the pirate returns and grins at me as the bartender brings us the drinks, and my character, of course, drinks his.

"Hm, this northern brew tastes weird."

It was supposed to be a joke for other players to enjoy. That is, until the bartender turned arround.

"WHAT? YOU DARE INSULT MY BREW? I CAST YOU OUT OF MY TAVERN, YOU FILTHY ARCHAIC SAVAGE!"

"Dude, you know I spent quite an amount of points on not beeing recognizable?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. He rolled on (en equivalent of sense motive), and this is not his first time seeing one of your RACE. He rolled like a god."

"Alright. Well, this is not the first time people get mistreated for no reason, so I better get out. It looks like he's about to throw stuff at me."

"Indeed he is. Roll for dodge, (IMMENSE PENALTY) since you just turned your back to him."

the way the DM's acting, you'd think your friend/his gf must have moaned your name while in bed. Jesus what an ass.

>>10101889

>>10101889
WTF, man. Was this guy with the NPD or something?

Are you POSITIVE you didn't bang his little sister?

What the fuck does he think this is, FATAL? He going to ask you to roll to sneeze next?

>>10101889
Ugh. Those dark southern savages, always stirring up trouble in reputable white northern civilized businesses.

>>10101889
Uh...huh...I really think you raped his little sister and cat. This man hates you with a passion.

>>10101699
My sergeants pretty much embodied the screaming manchild trope.

>>10102026
Why are you bringing up sergals?

trollface.jpg

>>10102062
"P-please be gentle."
"No."

Obviously, I didn't make it. The bartender throws something that hits me with damage equal to a battleaxe. Resulting in a wound. That is some serious buisness. In this system, it's not the damage you fear most, but wounds. They kill you, one way or the other. Immense penalties on everything, and if untreated, you will die from them.

"Ouch. That bartender must've been a half an orc to throw it with that much force. I will wait for the group outside while tending to my wound, I'm an expert at treating combat injuries, so this will be easy. 70% of my points went in there"

"Sorry to tell you, but how are you going to look after a wound at the back of your head?"

"What, he hit the head? Nice that you tell me. But I bought a little mirror just in case things like this would happen. Also, the rules state that I can tend myself with a (small penalty) per wound."

"Well, I'm the DM and I don't see how you could treat that wound."

"Alright, fine. I'll try to find a doctor in this town."

"You do, but he charges (HORRIBLE OVERPRIZED)."

"What? I can't pay that much! I'm gonna die from this if he doesn't help me! I try to appeal to his mercy, and say the twelve gods surely wouldn't want him to leave a stranger bleeding to death at his doorstep."
"He yells at you for mentioning the gods, as the southern people do not worship the twelve. He throws a scalpel at you, you can't dodge since you're obviously running away, and hits you for 3 damage. He shouts you shall come back when you have the money."

The party, in the meantime, tries to talk to the bartender about what just has happened, but he gets angry and calls them bad names for even travelling with me.

I am a very patient man...

>>10102026
>Where all the white women at?

>>10102104
Alright, knock that the fuck off now!

>>10102062

>>10102112
>I am a very patient man...
inb4 next post consists of "I lost my patience and fucked his face up."

>>10102112
Seems that way... I think I would have left.

>>10101724

Probably the image. I mean, dat fuckin chipmunk, man. Dat chipmunk.

Also;

>"Indeed he is. Roll for dodge, (IMMENSE PENALTY) since you just turned your back to him."

If the DM allowed you and the party to give him the vicious asskicking the character deserves, he could almost squeeze by as not being a shithead.

Almost.

>>10102104
NO. BAD.

You should feel bad for that. If I could hit you with a rolled up newspaper over the internet I would.

>>10102112

>>10102112

>>10102112
>"He yells at you for mentioning the gods, as the southern people do not worship the twelve. He throws a scalpel at you, you can't dodge since you're obviously running away, and hits you for 3 damage. He shouts you shall come back when you have the money."

...

>>10102112

>that whole, entire, fucking post

>>10102112
Guys am I to empathetic if I'm actually getting more and more angry as the story goes on?

Like legitimately pissed?

>>10098576

Tell your DM it's not possible because the familiar shares a link with its master and you'd know if it were hungry or needed something. Then punch him in the face for being a douche.

>>10102112
OP, get the fuck out of there. Seriously, that DM is a faggot.

>>10102112
Wait. So the doctor also was able to do a sense-motive/spot whatever check to figure out you were an undetectable southerner?

>>10102207
That's not the OP, that's someone completely different.

Thankfully, this story results in someone's face getting broken with a book!

>>10102201
I'm pretty pissed too. Thats some grade A bullshit.

>>10102207
He's not OP... but this is his thread now.
Not complaining, mind... I want to hear this story.

You guys are getting upset over nothing. In case you can't tell, the moment he realized this guy wanted to fuck with him, it became a game of patiently waiting for him to fuck himself over.

After adding a scalpel to my inventory, which are rare and immensly high-priced tools...

"How shall I get so much money? I don't even have half of what he wants."

"Well, you could sell your body to him? Looks like it wouldn't be the first time?"

Ok, another joke. Fine. I wait outside the pub for my party, and ask them to lend me money. They do. I get treated, but just enough that I won't die.

We then get some sort of "quest" from a travelling priest. The Niveses, people from the far north, are having trouble with their animals. Most of their tribes are ill due to a disease and hence can't take care of them, let alone guide them to the marketplace where they're supposed to get traded for survival equipment and the like.

Heroes as we are, we help out.

But for some reason, someone doesn't want us to help these people. Because... well... we meet the people and agree to help them, beginning a long journey with a lot of animals.

And then, one night, as everyone sits by the fire...

DMPC #1 and #2 appear...

>>10102238

>You guys are getting upset over nothing. In case you can't tell, the moment he realized this guy wanted to fuck with him, it became a game of patiently waiting for him to fuck himself over.

Perfectly plausible. But what's making /tg// so angry is that he didn't have to wait even thirty seconds for DM to not only fuck himself over, but to prove himself the biggest, most worthless shitstain within ten square miles.

>>10102247
>DMPC #1 and #2 appear...

FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU

>>10102247
DMPC's? Two of them? Oh this just gets better and better.

>>10102226

Frankly I'm ALMOST sad that I know how it ends already.

This could well be up there with the feminazi diplomancer if it had retained the element of surprise.

It's still pretty damn good mind you, JUSTICE IS ABOUT TO BE SERVED!

PUT ON YOUR JUSTICEFACE FOR SOME RIGHTEOUS SMITING /tg/!

>>10102247
THIS CAN NOT END WELL

>>10102247
>DMPC #1 and #2 appear...
HERE WE FUCKING WELL GO!

>>10102247

>>10102247

>After adding a scalpel to my inventory, which are rare and immensely high-priced tools...

I like the cut'o'yer jib, sonny-jim. By gaw, I do.

>>10102274
>>10102264
>>10102230
>>10102247

Going to say...

DMPC 1 will represent the DM's ideal male who will constantly emasculate and threaten the posters character

DMPC 2 will represent the DM's ideal female and constantly try to sexually and genderly humiliate the character.

>DMPC #1 and #2 appear...
Godfuckingdammit!

>>10102247

>DMPC #1 and #2 appear..

>>>10102268

Agreed. And you know what? If only the first part of the story was so horrid it made /tg/ rage in sympathy, it might still manage it.

>>10102268
> feminazi diplomancer

I am intrigued

tell me more

ALSO MY JUSTICE FACE RIGHT HERE NIGGA!

>>10102300
I'm betting on a Deliverance reference, with banjos.

>>10102321
I think I have the link to it, gimme a sec to find it.

>>10102321
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9740414/

Have fun!

>>10102201
Nope! Pretty much sharing the same reaction here!

>>10102339
>>10102337
That was very nearly linkmind

>>10102339
said I don't have the permission to access it.

>>10102321

> HE HASN'T READ THE FEMINAZI DIPLOMANCER THREAD!

OH MY! I WOULD LINK YOU TO THE ARCHIVES BUT THEY SEEM TO BE DOWN.

THIS IS A CATASTROPHE, BE SURE TO LOOK FOR IT WHEN THEY COME BACK UP!

>>10102352
suptg is down for streaming atm

so far as i know you can still archive, just not access anything

tis mildly annoying

>>10102268
I'm growing tired of yelling on my laptop, so you will fight this DM! Boo will finish his eyeballs once and for all so it will not rise again !
DM ! MEET MY BOOK ! BOOK, SMITE DM !

>>10102247
>DMPCs

>>10102352
Hmm, appears that the archives are down. Google Chrome must have the fucking thing in it's cache.

Anyone have the image of it?

>>10102350
I am your doppelganger and you are mine.

We are one in the same, yet very different. I am you and you are me. We are one.

>>10100216
Is this what you're looking for?

>>10102369

I was LITERALLY just about to do that.

freaking minscbookjusticeDMFACEMITE mind!

>>10102337
>>10102339
>>10102353

Both screencap pic versions are already posted in another thread, too. Woe.

>>10102377
>I am you and you are me.
WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY!

>>10102397

>>10102379 looks like it links to one of them.

>>10102377
MY OWN CLONE!

>>10102397

Frankly, the archive version is far superior because /tg/'s reaction to that story was GLORIOUS!

On that note, BACK TO REACTIONFACE.JPG

>>10102413
I AM THOU
AND THOU ART I

THOU SHALT HAVE MY BLESSING WHEN CREATING PERSONA OF THE "EMPEROR" ARCANA

>>10102390
brofist.jpeg

FOR GREAT JUSTICE !

You might recognize him. That taller-then-the-rest mercenary that shared a considerable amount of characteristics with the DM?
He comes straight at us. Engaging (DMs little brother) in an epic, cinematic fight, no dice rolls or weapons involved. At least that is how he describes it. Yeah, he said "epic" out loud as I asked what they were doing.

Of course, we are on our feet and want to help him. Thats when #2 makes his entrance.

An Elf. FLYING above us, previously invisible. With a bow. He shoots in front of my foot. At this point I should, AGAIN point out that elves are incredably rare, that they rarely have ANY buisness with humans, and that there IS NO MENTION OF AN ELVEN MERCENARY IN ANY OF THE BOOKS. And again, for a reason. But this one, indeed, is an elven mercenary, and he teamed up with "IM ME IN GOOD".

I test my courage (just for myself), succeed, and grab for my light crossbow, while the rest of the party sits and watches the battle, since the elf apparantly just doesn't want anyone else to be involved. Yeah, he said that. At night. From 100 feet above. While 2 people were beating the shit out of each other.
"Don't interfere".

Well, remember me going for my crossbow? The DM rolls some dice behind his screen, and then tells me that I get (BUTTLOAD OF DAMAGE) on my right hand, and I tell him that that is enough to cause 2 wounds. He says I lost my pointer- and midfinger as an arrowed pierced precicly through them. What he is implying is that my career as a doctor is over. Of course, I drob my weapon and fall to the ground, trying to stop the bleeding.

The battle from #1 and DMs little brother ends draw, of course. #1, who just happened to have the same attitude as our beloved DM, pulls of a few lines, and leaves.

You think an encounter like that is bad, right?

They came back the next night.

And the night after that.

>>10102377
>I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

>>10102413
With a great big embrace and a love shared between us.

Will not you say you love me too, for I love thine?

>>10102413

... you know, I haven't seen that fucker for years. But now, looking at him, I realize he's ten times the faggot I remember him as. And at age 10, I held him to be Fagarian, King of the Fags.

>>10102457
>>10102439
No that honor clearly belongs to the DM

Dear fuck

>>10102439

I can FEEL the Bookfacesmitejustice building up....

GIVE IN TO YOUR HATE LAZERUS!

SMITE! SMITE! AND! CRUSH!

>>10102439
The OP must leave, for his sanity and his will shall be destroyed by this monster. Do not heed his will.

>>10102439

>>10102439

>They came back the next night.

>And the night after that.

>implying you fucking tolerated that shit long enough for two more game days to pass, however brief

>>10102439
>Yeah, he said "epic" out loud as I asked what they were doing.
"What's-" "EPIC!" "But I don't-" "EPIIICCC!!! OH MUH GAWD! IT'S SO EPIC! TAKE 50 POINTS TO YOUR BRAIN ITS SO EPIC OMAHGAWD!"

>>10102439
>DM holds up entire party so his DMPC can have an "epic duel" with his little brothers PC whilst the rest of the party does... nothing.

Jesus christ I thought this guy just hated you and wasn't that great a DM but no. He is officially the shittiest shitty DM in the history of dungeons masters who are shitty.

>>10102439
Anyone else would've set the DM on fire by this point.

>>10102439
ISFSGSDJKLGHSDLKGKSDJGkl

Boobs

Hey guys what's up in this thre-HOLY FUCK I MAD.

>>10102500

>No that honor clearly belongs to the DM

I want everyone to realize what a profound observation this anon just made.

First, look at this post again:

>>10102413

Then contemplate the fact that the DM in this story is TEN TIMES THE FAGGOT AS WHAT IS IN THAT HORRIFIC PICTURE.

TEN. TIMES.

This is a pretty bad DM (tm). Not horrible, but bad.

Basically carries his own beliefs into the world and is more interested in winning real life favours than anything else. I imagine OP has a life and friends, and was going along because its like watching a fire from across the block.

You're in no danger, but you want to see how things turn out, and you can leave anytime. I imagine OP was snickering with the others the entire time.

Mmmmyeaaaah.

So this guy's girlfriend is a friend of yours?

I am betting she talks you up in private and he's real jealous.

1. Roll to save (fortitude) and eat dirt to sustain yourself.
2. Contract disease and hold onto it, long enough that nothing short of a wish will eliminate said contagion.
3. Vomit on important NPCs and possibly PCs.
4. When something kills you, roll for odds on making it something forceful, as though mimicing Diablo 2 Necromancer's Corpse Explosion.

>>10102439

>>10102439
How the fuck could you have stood this guy for more than one session?

>>10102606
if Lazerus was a character in Dark Heresy he would have 90 willpower. This is a fact.

At this point I was really bored. I got out some D&D books to read. I was just staying out of not wanting to be a dick. Every night, the flying elf prevents us from interfering (he always hits, I tried out and almost lost my foot), and the mercenary JUMPS over ANY previously planted traps and engages the warrior in a fist fight.
And then one night, they don't come. There is something else coming.
City guards. From the town we were in as this started. With longbows. At night.
15 of them. And they open fire without warning.

LA should be nominated for Sainthood for putting up with this shit

>>10102638
Or maybe you just have 10 Willpower and think normal willpower is extraordinary.

>>10102643

And then they only hit you?

>From the town we were in as this started. With longbows. At night. 15 of them. And they open fire without warning.

Let me guess. He declares/resolves the attacks against your character first.

f5ing like a mofo

>>10102643
Bows at night. Fucking. Seriously?

OP, I believe there is a course of action that will make the DM dislike the game as much as you do right now. You must become as bad as he is, questioning every move and thing he does. Ask him to provide background for everything. My other Doppelgangers tell me that this could also be more effective if one allows some roles for more mundane actions and subjects, human needs like eating, drinking, and the like would help.

>>10102643
in during it's the DMPCs' fault that the city guard came

>>10102643
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter...

Nice fucking friends you have their tripfag. Why didn't they say anything during all this?

We all duck for cover. Remember - it is night. It is windy. It's MOTHERFUCKING DARK, and all they see are the remains of our camping fire. I throw myself behind a tree.

There is actually a feat that allows an archer to shoot arround corners if there is wind for that. It is also a fact that in that entire setting, only a dozen people have it. Well, we had 15 of those. 3 of them hit my character. In dark night. As he was ducking for cover.
City guards from a small town. With longbows.

"Why are they just firing on us? What is their buisness with us in the first place?"

"Well, apparantly someone send them after you. Perhaps because you didn't pay your drink and stole a scalpel?"

Ouch. Yeah, darn straight that crazy doc had enough money to bribe the ENTIRE CITY after what I had to pay him. So 15 MASTERFUL archers, who just happen to be in that same city guard, equipped with longbows, are not THAT much of a big deal.

"Well, that is 12, 15 and another 12 damage, in the chest."

"Well, at least they hit my armored zone. I can subst-"

"No, you don't get armor against those. Unless you're wearing plate above chain above leather?"

"Of course I don't! I'm a medic! Just what the hell are they shooting with?"

"Oh, these special arrows from the arsenal."

"The armor-breaking ones that are used to take out heavy cavilary?"

"No, the ones with the extra-blades so you can't pull them out without doing another wound."

>>10102643
thereisnoimagemacroforwhatiamfeeling.jpg

>>10102643
THIS FUCKING DM OH MY GOD.

WAS FÜR EIN UNERTRÄGLICHES ARSCHLOCH.

>>10102658

I think the award is due for how this is going to end.

>>10102666

Actually, yes. We never got to resolving the other attacks. Let me finish.

>>10102677

Thanks for the dean, I will add it to my collection.

>>10102692
inb4
>their
>reaction image

>>10102697
Wow, can you say "On the spot bullshit"?

>>10102697
stillnoimagemacroforwhatimfeeling.jpg

>>10102720
I mean the Arrow things.

>>10102697

>There is actually a feat that allows an archer to shoot arround corners if there is wind for that. It is also a fact that in that entire setting, only a dozen people have it. Well, we had 15 of those. 3 of them hit my character. In dark night. As he was ducking for cover.

>City guards from a small town. With longbows.

>"Well, apparantly someone send them after you. Perhaps because you didn't pay your drink and stole a scalpel?"

>>10102643
HE HATES YOU

HE HATES YOU ALOT

>>10102727
WHAT COMIC IS THIS?

>>10102697
... every time I wonder how it could possibly get worse and every time... good lord...

That's lame, like anyone wants to have you stop and feed your pet.

>>10102738
Lackadaisy

>>10102697
>A dozen of them in the world.
>Fifteen live in this village.
Okay... Now I'm starting to rage... and I've never raged at a /tg/ thread before.

>>10102697
>>10102697

>>10102738
Lackadaisy. Google it.

>>10102697
I just... what?

Why is it that people like this always seem to be DM?

>>10102738

LACKADAISY CATS!

BUT DON'T GO AND READ IT RIGHT NOW OR THE AWESOME MIGHT OVERLOAD YOUR BRAIN!

>>10102692

I'm sorry, I was so caught up in the story of MY rage that I forgot to mention that my bro tier friend at one point shapeshifted into his soul animal, which happened to be a mouse/rat and was hit by a throwing knife thrown by a city guard that just felt like training his skills.

This isn't D&D. If you're a mouse in DSA, you are a mouse. 1 Hit point.

During this scene, at night, he was making a new character.

>>10102439

>>10102738
http://www.lackadaisycats.com/index.php

>>10102697
Just as a side note, as far as I can tell. The game has progressed something like

DM's Brother gets all the good attention, you get fucked up the ass everywhere you go.

What the fuck were the other party members doing? Did he ignore them entirely?

>>10102761

But.... Why kill the random mouse?

>>10102753
Because people who can actually socialize are more likely to be part of the party, and control freaks are more likely to be DM?

>>10102761
BERSERKER!

>>10102709

>Actually, yes.

I just shouted "FUCKING SERIOUSLY" out loud, and punched the desk.

>>10102772
...to practice his skills. Duh.

>>10102761
the guard...hit a mouse...with a THROWING KNIFE! If I was your friend, I would have been calling bullshit right then.

>>10102761
There is no image macro in the world... that can properly express...

>>10102761
Doppelganger #572 is crying from the lack of intellect. I am generating massive amounts of head trauma from my repeated cranial bashing on the desk. #24 has broken his computer.

>>10102774
Or the DM specifically volounteered to DM in this case, and invited Assassin in order to create a scenario where he could fuck with him.

The entire point of this fiasco is that the DM planned from the beginning to fuck with him as much as possible and the player just got apathetic instead of mad

>>10098576
You post a dead bird(it goes against the guidelines by the way) and expect me to be cool about it? Prepare to be wikipediaed!

>>10102774
Or because people don't come to /tg/ that often with epic stories of their decent DM that handled stuff and made a fun game. At least, not as often as they tell the nightmare stories. It's just more entertaining to talk about.

>>10102697
>>10102761

You have generated sympathetic fury from so many people.

>>10102844
Isn't it cute when people don't even see the rest of the thread.

North Brewham Meadows (grid reference ST743379) is a 8.9 hectare (21.9 acre) biological Site of Special Scientific Interest at North Brewham in Somerset, England, notified in 1987.

These traditionally-managed species-rich meadows support a neutral grassland community of the nationally rare Common Knapweed Crested Dog's-tail type. Breeding butterflies typical of unimproved neutral grassland include Small Copper (Lycaena phaeas), Meadow Brown (Maniola jurtina), Grayling (Hipparchia semele) and Ringlet (Aphantopus hyperantus).[1]

>>10102844

FOOL!

THIS THREAD HAS MOVED ON TO GRANDER THINGS! READ THE STORY AND RAAAAAAGE!

>>10102761

Ok. This is bullshit, and I knew it, for 2 reasons. First. These arrows cost a fortune. They cost so god-darn much that there was only 1 elite group in a giant army in history that used these.

And the other reason? These things are illegal. I'm not shitting you. The entire mid to north of the continent BANNED these arrows.

And here we are. In the north. Beeing fired at by 15 masterful archers, who use illegal ammunition. Who happened to be city guards.

"I call bullshit on this. There is no way city guards would have access to something that is even forbidden to use in WAR."

"Well, I say they have these. What is your problem? Judging from your gfs face, taking things in the ass is nothing new for you?"

>>10102878
Fell my wrath demon! You look a bitch by the way!!!

Aller and Beer Woods (grid reference ST404305) is a 56.9 hectares (141 acres) biological Site of Special Scientific Interest. off the A372 Othery to Langport road near Aller in Somerset. It was notified in 1952.

This Somerset Wildlife Trust reserve, which is about 3.5 kilometres (2 mi) north-west of Langport and 11 kilometres (7 mi) south-east of Bridgwater, consists of large blocks of semi-natural ancient woodland along the west-facing slope of Aller Hill, overlooking King's Sedgemoor. The reserve is about 40 ha (99 acres) and the underlying geology of most of it is Lias limestone. Prior to the twentieth century it appears to have been managed for centuries as traditional coppice woodland.[1]

>>10102837
>player just got apathetic instead of mad
>>>10101103
>I once bashed my DM in the negative (he lost consciousness) with the dungeon masters guide, straight in the face. He fell back and hit the wall with his head.

That's some apathy there.

Because your familiar is incapable of finding food on its own. an animal with an intelligence above 2 cannot gather its own food.

>>10102877
Proof that Wikispammers are the dumbest shits on the internet

Wow. I just had such a fit of anger i ended up FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>10102893
Conspiracy perhaps?

>>10102845
This. Partly because being angry at games is something we can all share. For a lot of people, instead of being happy someone had an awesome game, they get upset they aren't having one.

We're all mad for this guy. We're rarely all happy for the guy having an awesome game. Infact, we're likely to tell him to stop bragging or showing off.

For some odd reason, a lot of people see anger as more credible then happiness.

>>10102898
Dude, really, it isn't on the current topic. You're trying too hard.

Aller and Beer Woods are outstanding examples of ancient, escarpment woodland managed in a traditional coppice-with-standards system. The woodland is a variant of the Calcareous Ash/Wych Elm stand-type, with Pedunculate Oak (Quercus robur), and Ash (Fraxinus excelsior) the dominant canopy trees throughout, and with scattered concentrations of Wych Elm (Ulmus glabra). Ancient woodland indicators include Small-leaved Lime (Tilia cordata), and Wild Service Tree (Sorbus torminalis), both of which are locally common. Plants of particular interest include Bird's Nest Orchid (Neottia nidus-avis), Greater Butterfly Orchid (Platanthera chlorantha) and the very rare Red Data Book species Purple Gromwell (Buglossoides purpurocaerulea).[2]

Nearby is the Aller Hill SSSI.

>>10102893
>"Well, I say they have these. What is your problem? Judging from your gfs face, taking things in the ass is nothing new for you?"

WHAT

THE

SHIT

THIS GUY HATES YOU SO MUCH

>>10102893

>>10102893
Oh shit, it's on now.

>>10102697

This thread needs archived so that whenever I'm low on righteous indignation I can come read this story again.

>>10102893
>What is your problem? Judging from your gfs face, taking things in the ass is nothing new for you?

>more remarks about girlfriend

WHY AREN'T YOU HITTING HIM YET

>"Judging from your gfs face, taking things in the ass is nothing new for you?"

I'M SO GODAMNED ANGRY I'M BIRTHING KHORNE !

>>10000000

Could you hurry this up a bit, maybe just give us a list of things that lead to you beating the shit out of him? How this thing is going we are going to hit auto sage soon.

>>10102893
Please tell me you throw a car at his head.

>>10102893

...okay, I've been lurking up to this point but I just... can't...

Good. Fucking. Christ. I have never heard of anyone fucking their players over and being so goddamn pissing glib about it. I mean, just... FFFFFFFFFFF

I AM MADE OF RAGE

>>10102921
Dont call me a "dude". I am not a "dude"! Now continuing on...

Aller Hill (grid reference ST408291) is a 18.4 hectare (45.4 acre) biological Site of Special Scientific Interest near Aller in Somerset, notified in 1988.

The site contains three species of plant which are nationally rare and a further three which are of restricted distribution in Somerset. The central area contains a sward dominated by Sheep's Fescue (Festuca ovina) in combination with Yellow Oat-grass (Trisetum flavescens) and Quaking-grass (Briza media). Salad Burnet (Sanguisorba minor) forms a major component of the sward with Rough Marsh-mallow (Althaea hirsuta) and Nit-grass (Gastridium ventricosum), two nationally rare species, also present. [1]

Aller and Beer Woods on the slopes of the hill are also dissignated as a biological Site of Special Scientific Interest.

>>10102940
FUCKING ON IT!

>>10102907
But who needed proof? They're not even really mad about anything, they're just trolls with peculiar back stories.

>>10102893

I'M GOING TO RUN OUT OF REACTION IMAGES AT THIS RATE!

>>10102893

>>10102963
Goddammit... I wish I was as cool as you.

>>10102963
Will you please desist that

>>10102953
I think this is the only time where everyone in the 40k universe would team up and beat the ever loving heretical fuck out of him, then Exterminatus his body.

>>10102907
Oh hun? MAD?

Asham Wood (grid reference ST705460) is a 140.6-hectare (347-acre) biological Site of Special Scientific Interest near Downhead in the Mendip Hills, Somerset, notified in 1963.

Asham Wood is the largest and most diverse of the ancient semi-natural woods in the Mendips. It has been the subject of controversy and attempts to protect the environment from increased quarrying activity in the area.

The wood occupies 2 deep valleys and the intervening plateau. Most of the underlying rocks are calcareous Carboniferous Limestone and Shales, but Devonian Portishead Beds outcrop along the northern valley. There are a range of unusual flora and fauna.[1]

At Asham Wood near Frome coppicing and 50 dormouse boxes have been introduced in order to encourage nesting. The boxes are monitored and dormice numbers are recorded.[2]

Has someone requested archival yet?

>>10102988
honestly, why are you so upset

Hurry OP! Or start a new thread and link to it

>>10102893

>>10102963
Well, nobody said dude was male oriented. You don't say Fireperson or Firewoman, you say Fireman.

I'm a dude. He's a dude. She's a Dude. We're all dudes. So dude, please stop.

This is a nationally important botanical site, for both vascular and non-vascular plants, situated on the southern escarpment of the Mendip Hills. It also contains a roosting site for two nationally rare species of bat and a wide range of butterfly species. The very thin soils here support populations of one nationally rare species, Cheddar bedstraw (Galium fleurotii) and four nationally scarce species, pale St John's wort (Hypericum montanum), sea storksbill (Erodium maritimum), dwarf mouse-ear (Cerastium pumilum) and spring cinquefoil (Potentilla tabernaemontani). There is a roosting site for greater horseshoe bat Rhinolophus ferrumequinum and lesser horseshoe bat R. hipposideros, both of which are nationally rare. Dormice (Muscardinus avellanarius) are found in the woodland. Twenty-five species of butterfly have been recorded and these include: Brown Argus (Aricia agestis), Green Hairstreak (Callophrys rubi), Dark Green Fritillary (Argynnis aglaja) and Marbled White (Melanargia galathea).[1]

>>10102964
HERE, NO I'M FUCKING NOT. DOWN FOR STREAMING.

>>10102997
He's not. He's just a troll. Ignore him.

>>10102893
>>10102893

>>10102988
>>10102963

YOUR FEEBLE ATTEMPTS SHALL NOT HINDER THE GREATNESS OF THIS MIGHTY THREADNAUGHT!

ALL OF YOU! IGNORE THIS ONE FOR THE REST OF THE THREAD! WE HAVE GREATER ISSUES TO RAGE AT FOR NOW!

>>10102893
Also if the system is anywhere near realistic... those arrows will be WORSE against armor, since they hit a bigger surface.

>>10103013
damn I got trolled

NEW THREAD OP, FOR THE LOVE OF STUFF, NEW THREAD

>>10102893

Babcary Meadows is one of the last remaining areas of traditionally managed unimproved neutral grassland in south Somerset and contains a rich variety of herbs.

The site is positioned to the north of the River Cary at an altitude of 30 metres (98 ft) on flat and gently sloping ground. The plant community contains a very high proportion of herbaceous species. Areas immediately adjacent to the river bank are frequently waterlogged and contain numerous tussocks of Soft rush (Juncus effusus). Associated plants include Meadowsweet (Filipendula ulmaria), Cuckoo flower (Cardamine pratensis) and Common fleabane (Pulicaria dysenterica).[1]

Over two hundred species of flora have been recorded on the 12 hectares (30 acres) Somerset Wildlife Trust reserve, fourteen of which are classified 'notable species' in Somerset, and six of which are orchids. Badgers (Meles meles) and Roe deer (Capreolus capreolus) frequent the reserve and it is probable that Otters (Lutra lutra) use the river corridor.[2] The site was purchased by the trust following grant assistance from South Somerset Council.[3]

So, the DM has insulted your girlfriend for the second time. Tell me you put his face through his parents' table.

>>10102893
All 20,697 Doppelgangers make consensus that killing the DM is the only viable option to continue the human race.

I sincerely hope you gave the DM this face before delivering righteous justice.

>>10103030
SORRY DIDN'T MEAN OP
LAZERUS WE LOVE YOU AND WANT MORE STORIES

>>10102893

"This is all because your gf told me how small your dick is, isn't it?"

>>10103022
Fuck you and your shit. This faggot posted a dead bird as an OP image. That is enough for me to go postal on him.

The site includes the Somerset Wildlife Trust's Mounsey Wood Nature Reserve and Knaplock and North Barton SSSI notified in 1954. The site is within Exmoor National Park.

The Barle Valley contains extensive tracts of ancient upland Sessile Oak ancient woodland which exhibit variations in structure and species composition as a result of difference in past management, geology and topography. The diversity of the site is increased substantially by areas of valley mire, heathland and acid grassland. Eighty five woodland vascular plant species have been recorded including thirty one ancient woodland indicators from a single compartment. The meadows are one of the few sites for Great Burnet (Sanguisorba officinalis) on Exmoor. Springs emerging from the base of sandstone slopes generate nutrient poor acid mires dominated by Sphagnum and Polytrichum moss carpets. The lichen flora is exceptional both for its luxuriance and in the number of rare species. One hundred and sixty five taxa of epiphytic lichens are present containing a remarkably large proportion of ancient woodland indicators giving the Barle a very high index of ecological continuity.

F5ing like the fist of the north star.

>>10103065
The op isn't even here anymore. You're just making an ass out of yourself

>>10103065
WEEEWOOOWEEEWOOOWEEEOOO SOMEONE BETTER CALL THE WHAMBULANCE OVER HERE.

>>10103065
The guy who posted the OP image isn't the guy telling the story. This thread has been hijacked.

>>10103065
Yeah, yeah, troll excuse got it. Now, I have a theory, let me know if I'm onto something...

Have you ever GMed a game of DSA, wikispammer?

>>10103065
A dead bird. BAWWWW. Don't you have school tomorow? Off to bed with you.

>>10103065
You're a good couple of hours late there miss

Bird Interest on Site

Wood WarblerThe site contains an outstanding assemblage of woodland breeding birds including particularly high densities of Wood Warbler (Phylloscopus sibilatrix), Redstart (Phoenicurus phoenicurus) and Pied Flycatcher (Ficedula hypoleuca). These are all Summer visitors.

The River Barle provides an important habitat for Kingfisher (Alcedo atthis), Dipper (Cinclus cinclus) and Grey Wagtail (Motacilla cinerea), while scrub and heath have breeding Stonechat (Saxicola torquata) and Whinchat (Saxicola rubetra).

[edit] Other Species
Twenty species of butterfly have been recorded in the valley including the nationally scarce Marsh Fritillary (Eurodryas aurinia) and nationally vulnerable High Brown Fritillary (Argynnis adippe). Both Roe Deer (Capreolus capreolus) and Red Deer (Cervus elaphus) graze areas of wood pasture. The presence of Otters (Lutra lutra) on the Barle has been regularly recorded. A colony of Dormice (Muscardinus avellanarius) inhabits at least one of the Hazel coppices.[1]

>>10103065
Your 'going postal' consists of posting a block of text from wikipedia every two minutes. I'm not even going to bother reporting you, because you're just that ineffectual.

>>10103065

>>10103065
This is extremely fascinating!

But it's quelling my rage...

>>10103065
OP left after like 2 posts, you're ruining the awesome story of someone else. Read threads before unleashing your aspie rage on them

>>10103065
If you have an issue, report the post, hide the thread and move along.

>>10103097
That's his clever plan! You've got to resist it!

>>10103065
>That is enough for me to go postal on him.

Oh yes, wiki-spamming is certainly going postal. I remember that time the guy in the postal service went completely nuts and started yelling at his co-workers about nature facts. 14 people died.

>>10103065
>BAWWWWWWWWWWW

Go on, OP :3

>>No.10103068

>>10103065
Must... ignore... troll....

FUCK! Why does a dead bird bother you so much? Why can't you just fucking ignore it and move on? Do you have nothing better to do than annoy people having storytime just because you're pissed at the OP, who probably isn't even HERE ANYMORE, and want to bother him? What are you, a member of PETA? FUCK YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR!

To my defense, I gave him a warning before that. I didn't care about gay jokes. And I didn't care he just wasted hours of my life. But he got my gf in it again, and now that's it. I gave in. Some people are just not meant to be met with patience. I can be very patient. With racists. With bad DMs. And with offensive jokes.
But if you put all of those into a mixer, and hit "CREATE HUMAN", and the put him in the same room with me for several hours, it's gonna get me mad at some point.

"Well, why don't you ask your gf about that? I'm sure she could tell a story or two about me."

Yes. I disguised that as a joke. I mean, I and his gf tried stuff once, but we just didn't match, and decided to leave it at that. We were good friends ever since. He snapped. He pushed me out of my chair, since I was not expecting this, then sat back and laughed "sure she does".

He probably was expecting to be safe, since noone would punch someone who sat down, right?

>>10103083
No is not a bawwww thing. Is a self-respect thing. I wouldnt be able to be cool today if I let this gay thread continue normally.

Barrington Hill Meadows, 2 km west of the A358, midway between the villages of Windmill Hill and Bickenhall, is an English Nature National Nature Reserve.[1]

This site comprises four meadows surrounded by well established hedges on gently sloping clay-rich soils. It is an outstanding example of a traditionally managed unimproved neutral grassland of a type now rare in Britain. Additional interest lies in the occurrence of an extremely rare grass species. The meadows belong to a type characterised by the widespread occurrence of Sweet Vernal Grass (Anthoxanthum odoratum), Crested Dog's-tail (Cynosurus cristatus), Cowslip (Primula veris) and Green-winged Orchid (Orchis morio). A total of 74 different species have so far been recorded. This site is one of only 3 localities in Britain in which the grass Gaudinia fragilis is a prominent feature of the sward. [2]

Your gloves cease to fit as you haven't clipped your finger nails.

>>10103065
Go ahead and cry baby

Hey, OP, what are the chances said faggot DM would lurk /tg/ and actively try to ruin a thread where you're talking about him?

>>10103138
Pretty high I'd say

>>10103127
KILL HIM

KILL HIM NOW

>>10103128
Self respect? You're making an ass of yourself, trying to take town someone who has already left. You have no respect for anything.

>>10103128

>No is not a bawwww thing. Is a self-respect thing. I wouldnt be able to be cool today if I let this gay thread continue normally.

>Implying you're not bawww'ing like that bird's orphaned children.

>>10103127
NOW IT'S COWARD KILLING TIME LET HIM HAVE IT!

>>10103127
inb4 BOOK OF +5 SMITING

>>10103138

ohmahgawd.jpeg

>>10103128

JUUUUUSSSSTTTTTIIIIICEEE!!!

>>10103127

SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL!

>>10103165
Induring +5 book of smiting

BRACE FOR BOOKRAPE

>>10103127
Hey, Lazarus. Thanks for staying up until ~5:30 to tell us this tale. I feel sorry for you for having to put up with this DM's shit.

GO FOR THE GOLD, MAN! SO CLOSE, I CAN TASTE IT!

>>10103128
"Hey Dad, what's for dinner tonight?" "Birdburgers."

Honestly, I'd rather let AL get his story in in a single thread than try to counter troll some one who can't copy wikipedia faster than one paragraph per minute.

bumpan

Hahahaha! You are all so mad is great!

The Little Breach reserve, which forms part of the SSSI is an area of heathy grassland on Greensand, with some blackthorn and birch, noted for its butterflies and moths.[1]

Blackdown and Sampford Commons have the finest and most extensive surviving examples of the heathland, carr woodland and marshy grassland habitats that have developed on the acidic soils overlying the Greensand and Keuper Marls of the Blackdown Hills. The heathland supports a typical invertebrate fauna, including a wide variety of butterfly species, and with spiders notably abundant. The site is regionally important for birds which favour heathland habitats.[2]

>>10103128
pic related

we be going bird hunting

>>10102844
>>10103128
>>10102877
>>10102898
>>10102924
>>10102963
>>10102988
>>10103008
>>10103032
>>10103065
>>10103087
>>10103128
Reported.

>>10103178

Wow, that's probably the most appropriate use of that .gif I've ever seen.

(Damn, I wish I could pull a bel-air now, but this story just needs to be told to the end.)


"I" I grabbed the dungeon masters guide that was on my legs and fell down with me.

"fucking" I could see he wasn't expecting me to actually do it. Yet the reflexes in his body got the better of him and he tried to lift his arms and turn away, closing his eyes.

"TOLD YOU" this is where the rage took for. The form of a dungeon masters guide, hardcover, wielded with two hands, flying straight at a human face. The anger I calmly gathered and sealed away, the rage of a million moments where I should have done what was about to happen. Even if his arms would've made it in time, I know that the chair would've still acted the same way it was about to.

The improvised weapon struck home. Flat in his face. With a statisfying "BANG", as books like these make when you drop them on a flat surface. He fell back, in his chair, hitting the nearby wall with his head with a noticable "BONK".

"TO LEAVE MY GIRLFRIEND OUT OF THIS!". I yelled. It really wasn't cool at all. I felt bad for letting him get the best of me. But I felt so god-damn good at the same time. I knew that I couldn't have done anything else, that I couldn't have hold back any more. I was at my limit. And it felt so FUCKING GOOD.

He lost consiousness. I'd like to believe from the book, but more likely from the wall. Bro tier friend immeadiatly got up to get between us, but I was done. DMs brother and guy I didn't know much where trying to get DM to say something. I just told my bro it was ok, he made sure twice, then I pulled out my cellphone and called an ambulance.
But, and this is the truth, I did it with the following words (translated, of course):

"Excuse me, I just knocked an asshole unconsiouss and would like to make sure he isn't dead."

>>10103215
this is agreed

ba-bumpan

>>10103127
WAIT. WAIT WAIT WAIT.

After all that, you were the SECOND person to get physical?

>>10103128
>I wouldnt be able to be cool today

Look at this cool guy!

He's just too fucking cool!

You can't break that steely demeanor!

Hey you daft faggots, posting loads of pictures of dead birds is as bad as, if not worse than, the wikispam.

"You forgot to let your heart beat."
"You forgot to blink."

>>10103155
Self-respect. Is SELF-respect. I dont need your approval nor YOUR respect. Idiot.

History
There is evidence of a pagan shrine at Brean Down dating from pre-Roman times[2] which was re-established as a Romano-Celtic style temple in the mid-4th century and probably succeeded by a small late-4th century Christian oratory.[3] There is also evidence of an Iron age hill fort and prehistoric barrows and field systems.[4]

Brean Down Fort was built on the headland between 1864 and 1871 on the recommendations of the 1859 Royal Commission. It was the most southerly of a chain of defences across the Bristol Channel, protecting the access to Bristol and Cardiff. On the outbreak of World War II the fort was rearmed with two 6" ex-naval guns and machine gun posts were built on the Down. During WWII the site was also used as a test launch site for rockets and experimental weapons, and a large arrow was painted on the down to direct bombers to the practice range.

In the 1860s plans were laid for a deep water harbour on the northern shore of Brean Down. The foundation stones of the pier were laid, but the project was later abandoned after a large storm destroyed the foundations.[5]

In 1897, following wireless transmissions from Lavernock Point in Wales and Flat Holm, Guglielmo Marconi moved his equipment to Brean Down and set a new distance record for wireless transmission over open sea.

In 1952 the former Axbridge Rural District Council gave the down to the National Trust to celebrate the "Festival of Britain". After restoring the fort, Sedgemoor District Council gave this to the trust as well in 2002.

Various proposals have been put forward to construct a Severn Barrage for tidal electricity production from Brean Down to Lavernock Point in south Wales.

>>10103213
The guy wikispamming is a faggot and probably from /v/.

But you're a newfag.

>>10103128
other than the delicious (if slow) rage story, this is now a dead bird thread

>>10103127
I'm loving this story BUT GODDAMN YOU TYPE LIKE YOU'RE MADE OF MOLASSES.

>>10103220
YES!!!!!!

>>10103220

somuchwin.jpg

Thanks for the awesome tale.

>>10103220

>>10103220

I'm.....I'm so happy right now.

There is justice in this world and it comes in the form of a tripfag with a hefty book of SMITING!

>"Excuse me, I just knocked an asshole unconsiouss and would like to make sure he isn't dead."

>>10103240
Hardly. I just felt like reporting him for the fuck of it all. =D

>>10103220

Feels good man.

>One person acts like a massive faggot and sages because they don't like the OP
>Dozens of people bump the thread calling them a faggot

World's worst/greatest troll

>>10103220

some one must save this thread!!!

>>10103220

>>10103220

>>10103243
storytime is over... this thread is now about birds, and is no longer relevant to my interests.

>>10103220

>>10103220

Laz. I now love you like a brother.

>>10103231
>You forgot to blink.

>>10103220
hahahhahahha

Oh god

That was awesome

>>10103220

>>10103220
>"Excuse me, I just knocked an asshole unconsious and would like to make sure he isn't dead."

Epic win.

Thanks again for staying up to tell us the story, man. :)

>>10103220
>"Excuse me, I just knocked an asshole unconscious and would like to make sure he isn't dead."
Best way to call an ambulance?

>>10103240
>>10103235

Actually, considering he described this thread as "gay", and is flooding it for no real reason, I'm going to take a wild guess and say it's AL's asspained DM.

>>10103220
Doppelganger #382f-982f has a request to mate with you.
As does Doppelganger #29.

Please, will you create an epilogue that is suitable for us?

>>10103220
>>10103220
>>10103220

>>10103220
Nicely. Fucking. Done.
JUSTICE!

Now somebody PLEASE reassemble this story into one image please!

>>10103157
Not bawwwwing at all. Since I am actually enjoying this.

Ecology
The nationally rare White Rock-rose (Helianthemum appenninum) is a common species at the site, occurring in abundance on the upper reaches of the grassy south-facing slopes.[6] Some of the broomrapes growing here which were originally thought to be Oxtongue Broomrape (Orobanche artemisiae-campestriae) are now no longer believed to be this species, but atypical specimens of Ivy Broomrape (O. hederae) [7]

Other plants on the southern slopes include the Somerset Hair Grass, wild thyme, Horseshoe Vetch and birds-foot-trefoil. The northern side is dominated by Bracken, bramble, privet, hawthorn, cowslips and bell heather.

The birds seen on Brean Down include Peregrine falcon, jackdaw, kestrel, collared and stock doves, whitethroat, linnet, stonechat, dunnock and rock pipit. There are also several species of butterfly including; Chalkhill blue, Dark Green Fritillary, Meadow Brown, Marbled White, small heath, and common blue.

>>10103220
Soooo... your DM...

Is he single now?

>>10103220

>"Excuse me, I just knocked an asshole unconsiouss and would like to make sure he isn't dead."

I think you just won all of 4chan, forever.

>>10103220

>>10103220
But how did the other players react after his constant asshattery?

>>10103328
way ahead of you

<3

Bridgwater Bay is on the Bristol Channel, 5 kilometres (3.1 mi) north of Bridgwater in Somerset, England at the mouth of the River Parrett and the end of the River Parrett Trail. It consists of large areas of mud flats, saltmarsh, sandflats and shingle ridges, some of which are vegetated. It has been designated as a Site of Special Scientific Interest since 1989,[1] and is designated as a wetland of international importance under the Ramsar Convention.[2] The risks to wildlife are highlighted in the local Oil Spill Contingency Plan.[3]

In addition to the rivers, Parrett, Brue and Washford several of the man-made drainage ditches, including the River Huntspill, from the Somerset Levels, including the "Pawlett Hams", also drain into the bay.

Contents
1 Geography
2 Fishing
3 Ecology
3.1 Flora
3.2 Fauna
4 References
5 External links

>>10103220

I have to admit Laz, I didn't think much of you before this.

Just another attention whoring avatar fag in my mind.....

But you get to be awesome now, YOU HAVE EARNED MY ANONYMOUS INTERNET RESPECT!

I felt really bad afterwards. I know I don't seem like a person like that, but I always expec the worst to happen and hence usually try not to engage in a physical way.

His little brother looked at me in a weird way btw, like he was considering if he should hit me in the face. I still had enough rage in me to glare him into oblivion, and he was then busy attending to his brother.

After ambulance took him away and guy i didnt know vanished, bro friend and I left home.

I felt really bad about what happened. I don't like loosing my cool. And I don't like hitting people. And I don't like doing it with the book I borrowed from bro friend. I felt uneasy, and it was late at night, we had a long, awkward way home in front of us.

Then he said the one sentence that made me cheer up again, one that totally defused whatever was left inside of me.

"Huh, who's dungeon master now, hm?"

>>10103330

If it's your self-respect that's driven you to post shit for so long, you need to get yourself some new self-respect. Maybe yours is getting desperate for attention.

>>10103339
Excellent, archival image. Sav'd.

Do we have an actual archive of the thread, though?

>>10103339
You rock.
And AL rocks.

>>10103362

>>10103356
>>10103330

>>10103362

Bravo! A fine end to a fine story!

>>10103339
>>10103362

The Bay occupies the sweeping arc of coastline between the wave-cut platform of Jurassic Blue Lias at the northern tip of the Quantock Hills and the cliffs of Carboniferous Dolomites and Limestone at Brean Down which project into the Severn Estuary and provide some degree of protection from the erosive tidal currents. Strong prevailing westerly winds have thrown up sand dunes at Berrow and a shingle ridge and Steart. On the beach near Stogursey are the remains of a submerged forest dated to 2500 B.C.[4] - 6500 BC.[5]


Hinkley Point in Bridgwater Bay. Brent Knoll can be seenBrean Down is a promontory marking the eastern end of the bay. Made of carboniferous limestone, it is a continuation of the Mendip Hills, and two further continuations are the small islands of Steep Holm and Flat Holm. It is owned by the National Trust, and is rich in wildlife, history and archaeology, as well as being a Site of Special Scientific Interest in its own right.[6] There are steep cliffs and, at its seaward point, a Brean Down Fort built in 1865 and then re-armed in the Second World War. There is evidence of an Iron age hill fort and prehistoric barrows and field systems,[7] and a pagan shrine at dating from pre-Roman times[8] which was re-established as a Romano-Celtic style temple in the mid-4th century and probably succeeded by a small late-4th century Christian oratory.[9] In 1897, following wireless transmissions from Lavernock Point in Wales and Flat Holm, Guglielmo Marconi moved his equipment to Brean Down and set a new distance record for wireless transmission.

>>10103362
All Female Doppelgangers have made mating requests to you and your "Brother Friend".

>>10103220

>>10103362
>>10103362

>>10103364
Oh my... now you are going to teach me what self-respect is? FUCK OFF.

At low tide large parts of the bay become mud flats, 4 kilometres (2.5 mi) wide, due to the tidal range of 15 metres (49 ft),[10] second only to Bay of Fundy in Eastern Canada.[11][12] The intertidal mud flats are, as a result, potentially dangerous and it is not uncommon for the emergency services to mount rescue operations. Following the death of Lelaina Hall off Berrow in 2002, a local fund raising campaign succeeded in purchasing a Swedish-built BBV6 rescue hovercraft. The hovercraft is operated by BARB in Burnham-on-Sea. Much of the coastline within the western part of the reserve is accessible via a waymarked public footpath,[13] and the South West Coast Path begins at Minehead at the western end of the bay.

Hinkley Point is a headland extending into Bridgwater Bay 5 miles (8.0 km) west of Burnham-on-Sea, close to the mouth of the River Parrett. The landscape of Hinkley Point is dominated by two nuclear power stations: Hinkley Point A - Magnox (now closed) and Hinkley Point B - AGR. A third, twin-unit European Pressurized Reactor (EPR) reactor is planned, and will become Hinkley Point C.[14]

Man made sea defenses include a sea wall at Burnham-on-Sea and a 3 kilometres (1.9 mi) section south from Brean Down. There is also an isolated fossil aeolian sand dune belt fronted by a salt marsh deliberately planted in 1928.[15] There are some concerns that the proposed Severn Barrage could leave some sites high and dry, and others permanently under water.[16] The Steart Peninsula has flooded many times during the last millennium. The most severe recent floods occurred in 1981. By 1997, a combination of coastal erosion, sea level rise and wave action had made some of the defences distinctly fragile and at risk from failure. As a result in 2002 The Environment Agency produced the Stolford to Combwich Coastal Defence Strategy Study to examine options for the future.[17]

>>10103402

>>10103362
>>10103362
>>10103362
>>10103362
/r/ing updated archive image?

The asspain and awesomeness balance nicely.

Das...War...TOLL!

>>10103362
Any charges pressed?

>>10103362

>"Huh, who's dungeon master now, hm?"

This is now a meme. Calling it now.

This needs to be drawn.

>>10103339
THANK YOU!!!

>>10103362
Oh god, dude, you're the best. Fuck what anyone else says, you're totally a righteous bro in my book.

>>10103455
TOTAL klasse. :D

You guys know I now have like 1 hour of sleep left, right?

Gee... Also FUCK YOU whoever was complaining I was typing too slow, I'm tired as shit, english is not my native tongue, AND I certainly didn't plan on typing it at any point.

But /tg/ delivered me so many awesome stories, I just had to repay that eternal debt.

Like that barbarian/female fighter teamup on the lesbian man-hater bard!

>>10103126
I stand for the well-fare of animals. Sorry if you are against that gigantic faggot. And I am doing this for that dead innocent bird. And if that makes PETA or some shit fuck you!

The foreshore at Watchet, which lies at the mouth of the Washford River, and on the edge of Exmoor National Park, is rocky, but has a small harbour. The cliffs between Watchet and Blue Anchor show a distinct pale, greenish blue colour, resulting from the coloured alabaster found there. The name "Watchet" or "Watchet Blue" was used in the 16th century to denote this colour.[18][19]

East Quantoxhead used to have a small harbour which brought in limestone for local limekilns and exported alabaster. It is thought that it was also used for smuggling.[20]

At Kilve are the remains of a red brick retort, built in 1924, when it was discovered that the shale found in the cliffs was rich in oil. The beach is part of the Blue Anchor to Lilstock Coast SSSI (Site of Special Scientific Interest). Along this coast the cliffs are layered with compressed strata of oil-bearing shale and blue, yellow and brown lias embedded with fossils. In 1924 Dr Forbes-Leslie founded the Shaline Company to exploit them. This retort house is thought to be the first structure erected here for the conversion of shale to oil but the company was unable to raise sufficient capital and this is now all that remains of the anticipated Somerset oil boom.[21]