Enjoy losing your soul.

You won't get to play it

You'll give up five hours into the character creation process

Second.

Oh god, no!

Please don't.

I'll try and find a link for you, but I ask that you don't.

http://www.donatebytes.com/fatal.pdf
Enjoy.

>I want to play this

Unfortunately no one else does. You'll be playing alone. Fatal Masturbation.

I'm assuming you want to play it because you have to roll for Anal Circumference, but you'll quit before playing like all the others.

>>10581596
actually, me and my friends have been joking around about this, so they said if i could find it and read it, they would torture themselves and play it

You don't want to play this. Seriously. You might want to boggle vacantly at it, but play it? No.

>>10581639

You misunderstand. It's nigh close to unplayable, even disregarding the sexism, racism, scatological humor, and blatant fucktardedness. It's about 900 pages long, filled with charts and tables, and has twenty different stats all determined by rolling 5d100, dividing by four, then subtracting two. It takes the better part of a day to create a character without the Character Creator, which sucks anyways.

If you have read these example pages and still want to play FATAL then fuck you! You're a psycho and I'll never talk to you again!

>>10581639
If you want an extremely bad rpg to play for laughs, play Synnibarr instead. You can find something fun in there.

There's nothing at all redeemable in Fatal. Nothing at all.

Synnibarr variant races.

You know, we see your kind blow in every so often. You hear about FATAL and how bad it is, decide that, hey, maybe you can play FATAL successfully and become king of the neckbeards. It doesn't work. It never has. No-one has, to my knowledge, ever actually played FATAL before. Sure, people try. People try all the time. And where are they? Broken shells of men, robbed of all dignity. This probably won't stop you from downloading the file, but mark my words, you'll give up just like all the others.

>>10581686
Well this list actually looks useful.

>>10581767
The picture of the author himself, Raven c.s. McCracken from the back of the synnibarr book.

>>10581783
A one percent by one percent hit table of your fucking leg? No fucking thanks.

>>10581818
It's like what would happen if Toady made a PnP game.
I like it.

>>10581795

>>10581836

FATAL might sound so bad that it's good, or at least hilarious.
But it isn't. It's so bad that it is unplayable. Absolutely. The books are hilarious though.

>>10581832

This man is clearly delusional. He needs to be restrained and institutionalized for his own safety and the safety of others.

>>10581795
And looks better than the maker of FATAL.

>Caster hallucinates that a Pterodactyl's flying over the party, its name is Jobe. It is the casters friend.
I am so using this idea for my next character.

>>10581857
"gravity lizards are very intelligent"

>>10581832
Oh and that's just leg stabbing. There's also the head, the arms and the torso. And then there's crushing and cutting. So the hit tables are fucknormous.

>>10581868
He is somehow right. FATAL would be fine as a computer game where PC handles math. Dorf Fortress would be an unplayable atrocity as a board game.

>>10581895

>>10581897
I think i'm going to pull these hit tables and incorporate them into other games. All the sex stuff is dumb and a waste of time but the excessive hit tables are pretty neat.

>>10581884
Read all the 2000 magical effects and be amazed.

>>10581914

Banned a player from my table for bringing it in in pdf format on a flash drive. Someone actually ran out after his car, trying to get it, so he could burn it.

Every animal in nature gives a warning, no matter how brief, before it attacks and kills its prey. My friends and I call it the "rattlesnake shake"; rattlesnakes giving warning by rattling their tails in most attacks against humans. A shark rolls its eyes back before a bite.

FATAL has a rattlesnake shake; everyone else who has heard of it.

You're about to lose the psychological equivalent of a limb and nobody will give you the briefest sense of pity.

You are, quite literally, the densest human being on /tg/.

Unless you're a troll, which is amply more likely, with massive precedents - trolls are rarely original. Idiots are.

>>10581946
Synnibarr map.

>>10581976
Standard terra police equipment in synnibarr.

>>10581925

-You make a powerful swipe with your broadsword and hit him in ... [rolls] ... the distal phalanges!
-The what?
-The smallest bone at the end of the toe.
-The fuck does that do?

>>10581976
>Synnibar map

It's pretty solid for the creator being completely insane

>>10581976
>Dark Continent

I'm amazed there's no Light Continent on the opposite side.

>>10582022
>Enchanted Continent
I wonder if it has a boat ride in it, with captive halflings forced to sing a song in it, forever.
>Its a small world, after all... its a small world, after alll...

With these excessive hit tables. Does the game also have rules for bleeding out and organ damage?

ＷｗＷ._aNOn_+_ｍ_-_m_+_ｔAlｋ_.sｅ jry flh cvjz rccogvzres mdfnxcftuueq mvxq

>>10582050
Roll for anal circumference first.
In FATAL, the most likely wound to bleed will be someone's anus.

>>10582062
I'm ignoring the stupid sexual oriented shit. I just want the awesome hit tables.

>>10582022
Actually, synnibarr is a "worldship" created by hollowing out mars after the earth blew up, or something.

also:

>over the last decade, the Synnibarr gaming system has been tested by thousands of players and hundreds of referees

>Caster begins to hallucinate that the target of the spell is attempting to rape an ox.
>Every time a spell is cast, the caster says "My cock is very small and limp!"
>Whenever the caster opens their mouth, everyone can see eternity.


Oh, wait, I forgot the '1000 ingredients list'
>Gargling with cum for the duration of the spell

Fuck that, I'm not touching that list with a 10 foot pole.

>>10582108

Look, they're not awesome, in any way, shape, or form. Every time you hit, you have to roll randomly on one of these bastards, sifting through thousands of possible results every single time, each one more inane than the last. It's perfectly possible to deal a critical hit to the belly button without damaging anything else. I can't even begin to explain how retarded that is. Gameplay screeches to a halt every time someone hits or gets hit. Tables are terrible for regular combat.

>I want to play this

Trust me, you don't.

>>10581912
>implying that Dorf Fortress is not an unplayable monstrosity on the PC.

>>10582174
It is a delicious unplayable monstrosity though.

>>10582144
I think that sounds awesome.

>>10582212

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, sir.

>>10582050
There's no general bleeding rule that I can see, but there are hit location specific hits, like dismemberment, that can cause a target to bleed out. And of course there's organ damage. Lungs, kidneys, spleen. You name it, there's a percent chance to hit it.

>>10582174
It is playable, to some extent. More playable than FATAL will ever be.

>>10582212
There was an (unfinished) FATAL campaign journal over at GiantITP not too long ago. He held the group together for three sessions before they revolted. The first session was just character generation. The rolled for random heights, weights, hair color, hair style, moles and scars which could hint at some destiny or tendency, humors such as "phlegmatic", and random occupations. He rolled some stats (anal circumference) secretly for them. No one got the natural 1000000 on the 1d1000000, which is good since I don't remember what that was even for. One person was a lord, which means he gained a level every year his lands didn't descend into utter chaos, and two every five year period. Another person made soap. He got a level every time he made and sold 1,000,000 bars of soap. it was downhill from there.

>>10582288

The Natural 1000000 is "Retard Strength," I believe.

The hit tables are kinda like Warhammer critical hits, or maybe MiddleEarth ones, just blown out of proportion.

>>10582299

freak of nature, actually.

I can't believe I know that.

>>10582174
them's fightin' words

>>10582318
Its cool, anon. The game leaves scars on everyone. Its the only radioactive file on the internet.

>>10581975
Taking a game way too seriously.

>>10582318
The 10 million roll? It was the "Offspring Number" roll. Unless there's another one. Kinda hard to find anything, I'm getting distracted by things like the Hymen Resistance roll.

>>10582411
The truth hurts doesn't it asspie.

>>10582474

I'm sorry you can't spend 5 minutes learning how to use a keyboard.

>>10582514

FATAL Explained.

>>10582581
I prefer this line, from the infamous review.

>>10582673
Ahh yess, that review was some of the best hours in my life.

WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?!

>>10582581
Hahaha!

>>10582703
Have you read the review of the review?
I shit ye not, it is somehow funnier than the original.

>>10582703
>>10582758
>>10582761
Could we get a link to both?

Remember when we read this, together? Together, /tg/. I thought I was strong enough to face the forces of Chaos head-on.

And for a brief moment, I had won. I beat the FATAL game out of sheer luck.

But I was wrong. I was wrong, /tg/. It still taints my soul.

>>10582773
Review of FATAL. Do not eat or drink prior to reading.
http://www.rpg.net/reviews/archive/14/14567.phtml
Rebuttal of said review. Nothing... nothing ... nothing...
http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/FATALReviewRebuttal

>>10582816
Its is stronger than even gravity; it defies the gods themselves. It makes Urination rolls upon all that is holy, sacred, profane, profound, loved, hated, cherished and feared.

It is the end of days.

Whenever someone says "The Game", I know, deep in my heart, it means someone, somewhere, is playing FATAL.

>>10582866
The Dark Eldar created Slaanesh.

Slaanesh created FATAL.


HEY KIDS! TRY THE FUN FATAL GAME AT HOME!

Dice+1d982, six times, each going to a seperate page.

If you do not find something outright offensive, horrible, or stupid each roll, you win.

To date, I think I am the only one to do it.

>>10582673

I like to remember it by this line from the retributional


>Reviewer: "So, basically, FATAL is the date rape RPG."
Hall: "Another faulty conclusion drawn by Darren. Where is dating included?"

>>10582923
I somehow think all 4 chaos gods had part creating it

To actually reply to the OP, I think FATAL is actually played as an endurance match between all players, to see who backs out first between the unnecessarily long character creation process, the world setting, and the rape, drugs, and shit (figurative and literal), to see the last person to say "I'm out."


Last man standing is the HIGHLANDER.

>>10582971
this shit could kill an immortal

>>10582982
There can be only none.

>>10582990
Death would be a preferrable option. Death is release.

In all seriousness, I don't even see how this could have been approved, like, ever.

But what scares me is that it did. FATAL is like what CWC would make.

Did anyone ever track this guy down?

It seems like the kind of teenage stupidity that would lose someone a job if it came to light when they were older.

>>10583052
Fatal WAS his job

he intended to release it and make money off it, he didnt even have a day job

>>10581636

>roll for Anal Circumference

>>10583052
He has been tracked down, and his identity is known.
Not even /b/ can or would touch him.
He's that fucked up.

>>10583079

also if you're doing someone in the ass, the victim has to roll to make their endurance sustain long enough for their rectum not to tear open, which is hilarious since there's apparently no rules to get someone to STOP fucking you in the ass. You could easily be a rapist who kills enemies by splitting their assholes open and watching them bleed to death.

>>10583140
>implying that is not how the standard combat is played

anyone know if this is 3.5 compatible? i think it would make playing pathfinder with my current group a laugh and a half, since they're all male and my character has good reason to avoid almost every single one.

>>10583079
You must be new here.

>>10583198
No, it does not use any version of Dungeons and Dragons. D&D is at least playable.

>I want to play this
You better be trollan, nigga.

>>10583310
In a happy, safe world - yes, he is trollan.
This is not a happy or safe world.
OP may run a daycare center.

>>10583140

i didn't believe you so i download the rules and god damn:

"...the the skin between the vagina and anus rips and the 2 orifices effectively become 1." - page 53

wow, just... wow.

>>10583357
That... The human body does not work like that... I, uh... Oww...

>>10583357
see
>>10581975
I have absolutely nothing for you.

You don't want this. Trust me.

>>10583357
>>10583390

We warned you idiots. We yelled until we were blue in the face about this game. We told you, "Back off now, it's your only hope!" And what did you do? Ignored us. Well, I hope you're happy.

>>10583426
Some people, when seeing a rattlesnake, want to check its anal circumference. Let nature take its course from here on.

>>10583448
>>10583426
Wise neckbeards are wise.

>>10583357

i kept reading... you can smoke trees and eat mushrooms too!

i think i've found my new character class and mission. pothead rape ogre who invades a dwarf kingdom. crowning achievement: rapes dwarf king with head, king dies and becomes rape ogre's new hat.

>>10583589
Get to the part about critical hits and resulting fecal count?

What's bad about FATAL is that there were apparently conventions for it.

Conventions where you can play FATAL.

Dear god, imagine the sick shits you'd find in one of them!

>>10583589

By all means, go ahead and make that character. In fact, go ahead and do it now. Right in front of us, you miserable bastard. Make that fucking character for the world to see, without the character creator. I'm calling your bluff. Here's your chance to show the old, stuffy grognards up. The floor's yours, pal.

>>10583589
I am also calling your bluff.
Do it.
I will watch you fail, fall short of your goal and lose.
You haven't got the balls.

>>10583736
>>10583708
I'm not >>10583589, but cut that out! I'm playing Dragon Age and I don't want to get side tracked by challenges!

>>10583786
Are you a bad enough dude to generate a FATAL character, live on /tg/?

>>10583813
Ah fuck you, now I'm downloading the goddamn pdf.

This is not how I wanted to spend the start of the weekend.

>>10583874
I feel like I just talked a one-legged man into walking through a mine field.

>>10583680
Bullshit. This game isn't playable. Maybe they were playing some sort freeform fetish game, but not FATAL as written.

>>10583902
It will be an interesting experience.

>>10583736
>>10583708

i couldn't be fucked rolling the character because i have to leave for work soon, so i drew a picture of him. enjoy.

It took me 3+ hours to create mt first and only FATAL character. Wanna compare Anal Circumference?

i've downloaded it. i just have to see what would happen to my priestess if she was made in fatal. maybe I can convince the gm to make her lover, too...

god help me...

According to /co/, Crossed is their version of FATAL.

You know what this means, /tg/?

We need a Crossed RPG.

Now FATAL may finally have a contender for worst and most brain bleach worthy RPG EVER!

>>10584013
I have read Crossed. It is nowhere near FATAL territory. It crosses a dozen boundaries of sanity, but it nothing, I mean nothing, compared to the shota/guro/ohmakeitstopmakeitstop manga in current circulation.

You know, it might help if I print out a character sheet.

>>10584013
Man, I hate Crossed so much. It definitely is the FATAL of comics.

>>10584069

THIS.

CROSSED DIDN'T EVEN HAVE YOU RAPING AND SACRIFICING AN INFANT CAT TO FUEL A SPELL FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

>>10584125
Is it by Garth Ennis? Because that would explain a lot. Fuck Garth Ennis.

Sex for the ears.

>>10584136
Garth Ennis does some fun stuff. I enjoyed his recent Punisher stuff. Crossed though...it's just vile for the sake of being vile. It's essentially gore and shock porn.

>>10584069
>>10584125
But there are some pretty notable similarities.

>>10584136
You are correct, sir.

>>10584156
Most of the reason for Crossed is what an outbreak comic would be like, if you legitimately removed morality from the condition. In series like The Walking Dead, its still present (in a variety of forms). When you start out Crossed, that idea is the first against the wall.

Makes his work on the Punisher arc "The Slavers" look downright wholesome and lighthearted.

>>10584195
Fucking Garth Ennis.

>>10584195
>notable similarities
Yes.
- both were printed in English
- both included words
- the word 'hammer' was used by both
- both make poor trolling ammo, compared to a good old-fashioned edition war.

seriously, no one?

>>10584237
They were both published, despite all reason. That's a similarity.

>>10584212
This is true for the original series; however from the reactions I've read, the ''family values'' sequel series is basically FATAL the comic.

I think I broke it already. My BMI came to 3778.8

>>10584407
No, you just did the calculation wrong, you twat.

Attention, Garth Ennis haters.
http://splashpage.mtv.com/2010/04/19/garth-ennis-crossed-movie-details/
Crossed will become a movie.

is crossed worth reading as anything more than a tool to traumatize yourself

>>10584436
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

>>10584439
Its without merits, to some.
Its without limits, to others.
Its a pandemic apocalypse scenario with the enemy being remarkably insane, but with full judgment.
The Crossed are crazy, certainly - its just that they're as smart as they were beforehand.
Also, Horsecock.

>>10584480
will i vomit reading/seeing it? im not super squeemish, i just want to know what im up against

>>10584501
Nothing you have not seen in a very mild Japanese doujin.

>>10584527
i may read it then... and i may have to put it down fast... ill find out

>>10584527
>very mild
As far as the /d/ stuff goes, it's probably less fucked up than the weired versions of futa. Very mild.

>>10584407
Fixed that, oh boy, rollan 1d1000000!

ITT: we discover even /tg/'s trolls are unable to generate a FATAL character.

Elegan/tg/entlemen, we have the silver bullet we seeking.

>>10584559
I've seen guro comics

is it worse or softer then the average one?

>>10584501

If I remember correctly, there's a scene right near the beginning where a man and his wife are disemboweled and raped.

rolled 724018 = 724018

>>10584654
Its >>10583874 here, I'm still working on it.

>>10584662
Partially correct, yes - their kid is torn into chunks, while this is occurring.

>>10584669
Prove it. Post what you've generated, thus far.
I don't believe you have generated a FATAL PC; enjoy your Synnibar character.

I love that Synnibarr was brought up here.

God, what a fucking durp of a game.

>>10584753
compared to fatal it becomes quite a bit more attractive

>>10584777
Compared to FATAL, any game is attractive.
I'd rather do live-action Pokemon-based cosplay of an episode of Full House with CWC and scaredofshadows than play in a FATAL game.

>>10582842
"Burnout: For someone saying this game could be made by a 14-year old, Sartin sure does sound like one. I don't remember the last time I used the word "wang." I find the players of FATAL and I mature enough to use words like penis, dick, or cock...without giggling like Sartin obviously is after saying "wang.""
>>implying calling it a cock makes you mature
Are these people actually this mouth-breathingly retarded, or are we being trolled?

>>10584723
Race: Kobold
Gender: Male
Height: 60.39in (~ 5ft)
Weight: 134 lbs
Age: 21
Eyes Brown
Hair Colour: Light Brown
Hair Thickness: Thin & curly
Hair Length: Lower back
Most Attractive Feature: Crotch
Least Attractive Feature: Buttocks
Skin Colour: Silvery Tan
Facial Feature: Mouth, downward sloping
Vision: Perfect
Breadth: 30.195
Areola: 1/2", medium hue
Nipple Length: 1/4"
Total modifiers via stats: +61 str, -9 facial attract., -28 bodily attract., +10% manhood

>>10584819
seems like a standard kobold who just happens to have a huge dick

>>10584811
If it's a troll, it's a legendary one spanning years and god knows how many man-hours of work. It's a troll to make /b/ put out their eyes and curse their mothers' wombs.

I'm more upset that apparently Byron Hall is married.

>>10584844
To add to that, I also just rolled for a 2" tongue and an anal circumference of 5"-6"

>>10584844
Hah. Nowhere does it say he has a huge donger. Just a really good looking one. It's like... the George Clooney of Dongs.

I love that you have to roll areola size and hue and it's not even used for anything

Or maybe it would be crazier if it actually was used for something

rolled 58, 53, 56, 60, 33, 12, 66, 33, 3, 88 = 462

Why am I still doing this...?

Good news, everyone! I'm here to remind you about the best thread about a FATAL adaptation ever!

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4552543/

It's called....

FATAL, THE MOVIE!

>>10584879
Crazy? We're all perfectly sane here, friend.

Yuo are able to slash someone in the clitoris. Half of everyone in the FATAL world is a rapist. I read the online review. Their is a link to it on 1d4chan. Please, for the love of god, read the review first. Do not look at the contents of the pages, for what has been seen cannot be unseen.

>>10584890
And for all that, I have a 5.15" dick.

>>10584862
wait a minute

his ass is 1/10th the size of his body


the hell?

>>10584919
his ass is bigger then his dick is long

rolled 66, 89, 54, 90, 17, 84, 52, 18, 36, 90 = 596

>>10584945
Don't question it, you'll go mad.

>>10584854
"I am fair. Since Darren and Jason did affect the game's development by pointing out 8 mistakes, they can be listed in the credits, if desired."

This has to be a troll.
To believe otherwise would be to relinquish the last of my sanity.

>>10584968
Oh good, with a manhood circumference of 5.27", I can lop it off and fuck myself with it.

>>10585010
he can fuck himself with it standing upright

>>10585010
Okay then, should I go for the race features and spend more time doing useless shit? Or should I skip it and go straight to the abilities?

Time spent so far: 1 hour, 13 minutes

>>10585008
It's like they say in the review. He has this sociopathic way of saying the most bizarre and demented things as if they are perfectly normal and you are the one taking issue.

I'd hate to see this fucker go through real life. Fortunately, judging from the content of FATAL, I doubt he's ever encountered anything that could be deemed "real".

>>10584819
As an honorable man, I concede you are of suitable trollosity to, without sarcasm or shred of duplicity, award you this, a Festive Hat. It is the only thing to offer up, and you may take heart in that I have never, ever awarded one to a troll before.
Troll, Enjoy Your Festive Hat.

>>10585066
I shall treasure it forever!

And I might wear it whilst I continue. I've gone this far, might as well go all the way!

>>10585033

Personally I'd like to see you do the whole thing. All of it. Just to see if it can be done without destroying the mind. But it is your life, you risk it how you want.

>>10585066

That is a delightfully festive hat.

>>10585081
Fuck it, I'm rolling for race features.

WE'RE NOT DOING THINGS HALF-ASSED HERE, BOYOS!

>>10585115
>WE'RE NOT DOING THINGS HALF-ASSED HERE, BOYOS!

No, you're doing it with a full anal circumference of 5.6". I don't know if this is respect I feel, but it's something.

>>10585115

God speed you, you crazy sonovabitch.

God speed.

>>10585126
on a 60" creature?

in his hometown he'd be the amazing mister ass putting stuff upthere and makign all people go "oooooh"

(its fatal I'm just getting in the mood)

>>10582842
>can you say... Sophists?
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF WHY DID YOU JUST DRAG ANCIENT GREECE AND SOCRATES INTO THIS PILE OF SHIT? WHY, WHY, WHY!?

>>10585144
This just in, I have huge ass feet.

Seriously, because I'm 6" taller than average, that gives me +60 to the foot size roll, resulting in a full 13-14" of foot. This also means I have appropriate MANHANDS.

/tg/: we get shit done.
Even if we shouldn't.

You know, I'm suddenly reminded of that Dark Heresy comic I saw posted here where the speccy Adept reads through a corrupted tome, says "Well, that was a fun read!", and then very calmly blasts out the windows of the spaceship to kill everybody on board.

Be very wary of OP if he ever finishes this.

>>10585164
You're sideshow bob kobold

Oh good, abilities. Only took me an hour and 35 minutes to get to it.

>>10585289
This is like watching a bad horror movie.. with the victim describing their own torture.
STAY STRONG

>>10585201

rolled 32, 61, 6, 1, 22, 88, 19, 39, 70, 94 = 432

>>10585318
So bad it's good, or just plain bad?

Either way, fuck rolling 10d100 by hand. Just did that. I pity those who did it manually.

Though I suppose that makes them more hardcore. Or crazier.

>>10585318

I'm listening to some of the Homestuck soundtracks as OP goes to his fate. It lends a suitably epic background. Especially Liquid Negrocity, Black and Descend

Pic related is somewhat alike to how I imagine OP.

http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/liquid-negrocity
http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/black
http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/descend

rolled 1, 88, 58, 51, 89, 98, 4, 64, 61, 77 = 591

>>10585343
On second thought, reverting to manual mode after this. Otherwise, 19 posts of rolls shitting up the page.

>>10585343
Its so bad, its classified.

>>10585337

That's the one. Mark my words, if he survives his ordeal OP is going to kill us all.

>>10585384
Oh, I'm not the OP.

I'm just a guy who was playing Dragon Age when he saw the challenge made in >>10583736 and >>10583708

That's right, I gave up entertainment for this shit.

Guys, remember when it wasn't summer? When we had trolls with basic skills instead of full-on retards?

>>10585460

I don't know whether to shake your hand or run screaming from you. This is... quite something.

>>10585503

Quiet you, history is being made.

>>10585528
When his body is found at the top of a clock tower, rifle still clutched tightly, we will look back on this moment.

Some of us may feel profound guilt at the tragedy.
The rest of us will be shrugging and saying, "Saw that one coming..."

rolled 54, 98, 47, 49, 99, 54, 72, 34, 82, 83 = 672

>>10585528
Why not shake my hand while running screaming from me? Because I'm most likely going to start chasing after random people after this.

rolled 32, 68, 99, 58, 96, 85, 95, 98, 91, 69 = 791

>>10585566
Actually, I prefer the sound of tying a bungie cord around my scrotum and jumping off a bridge.

My favourite line from the rebuttal:
>No, wait. This game still proves once and for all that Darwin was an ass-grabbing fool.
Darwin was a great man.

rolled 32, 32, 93, 27, 50, 2, 4, 29, 57, 60 = 386

Ugh, with this post, I have finished the dexterity section. That still leaves Int and Wis.

>>10585600
Mine is from the rebuttal commentary by burnout:
This is where they're crucifying the designer about his overblown alcohol rules.
>Burnout: Hmm.. So according to Unknown Armies a shot affects a 100lb. person the same as a 350 lb. person. Yeah sounds like they know how to make role-playing games. Incredibly unrealistic, un-detailed games.
Hnnnnnnnnnnnng.

We cannot discuss the rebuttal without mentioning how Hall and Burnout apparently didn't understand that the term "motherfucker" is almost never used absolutely literally.

>>10585201
In a universe where there is only war, this is proof there should NOT BE WINDOWS ON SPACESHIPS.

rolled 75, 98, 43, 16, 36, 8, 42, 25, 59, 100 = 502

>>10585707
How about windows looking out onto a hull interior?
>blatant excuse to use the dice roller

>>10585702
If we expounded on each of the things that neither Hall nor Burnout understood properly, we'd need a dedicated thread.

rolled 94, 17, 44, 60, 26, 3, 64, 60, 19, 3 = 390

>>10585731
I'm sure a rebuttal of the rebuttal that does exists somewhere.

>>10585731
Your words have merit, sir tripfag. I maintain, though.

>>10581717

Well at least you never have to wonder what to do.

Update: it's been 2 hours, 15 minutes since I started and I just finished rolling the sub-abilities. Once I figure out what my modifiers are, and then figure out averages, I think I'm done with that section.

I hope I am...

>>10583589

You can smoke trees.

Thank Christ. I'll have to get those rules over to DH somehow. I still think my fellow interrogators think the smoke coming out of my room is obscura.... apparently 40K's too grimdark for happy drugs.

>>10585843
You're a braver man than I am, Anon Din.

>>10585871
Whoever has it needs to post the "Awww shit, the Commisar, come hit this shit" comic.

>>10585893

That's what inspired me to it.

FUCK ME it's lost somewhere in the morass of my /b/ folder.

Someone re-deliver this shit so I can save it as something that makes sense.

>>10585944

Wow, just wow, I outsmarted myself.

>>10585871

>>10585956
> commissar chaplain weed comic.jpg

I know your pain. I can't count how many times I've lost a relevant pic because I gave it some absurd joke name - Or assumed I did when it had a boring one.

>>10585956
Original version.

>>10586077
GET OUT OF HERE version.

So, to determine the ability score, do I calculate the mean of the sub-abilities?

Because I know of at least 3 averages.

How goes the character build?

>>10586227
2 hours 45 mins in, just determining ability scores.

D:

>>10586247
When you get to Hell, you will have
>2 hours 45 mins
credit for "Time Served".
I recommend a few smoke breaks, grab a shot of decent rum and some pre-emptive screaming.

>>10586304
Can't scream unfortunately. Family are sleeping, one of whom is a drunken Yorkshireman.

As for the drink, will Jim Bean do?

>>10586044

The worst is how clever I think I am naming pics when I'm drunk and stoned.

Oh goodie, I'm not a retard!

Well, the character isn't. I, personally, am.

>>10586502
Only possible explanation of why you thought this was good idea.

I keed, I keed.

>>10586502

I'm keeping this alive with you bro. I might go out to smoke by the lake though, don't kill yourself before I get back.

>>10586374
Jim Beam is acceptable. The sleeping Yorkshireman remains unvouched for.

As the man who issued the original challenge, I have to commend you, sir. I didn't expect this dedication. If you somehow manage to succeed in this task, you shall be immortalized in the annals of /tg/ history as, "That one crazy bastard who rolled up a FATAL character by hand,"

Godspeed, good sir, and may the Lord have mercy on us all.

My kobold is, surprisingly, Neutral Neutral.

Moving on to temperament, suddenly, several pages of bollocks!

Fuck, this reminds me. How am I going to upload this to you lot?

I'm unsure as to if you can read scanned sheets written in pencil.

>>10586692

Either a photograph or a scanner, I suppose. We'll just squint.

>>10586697
Compared to the Hell he's suffering, it is the least we could do.

Could someone archive this thread?

>>10586772
Archive request sent.

Melancholic-Choleric kobold.

Does this work?

>>10586827
He's Manic-Depressive?
Whatever, not like you're going to be actually playing him.

Is this thread still going? Good god.

>>10581553
You're one sick mother fucker you know that?

rolled 731, 716, 35, 838, 625, 917, 426, 9, 90, 293 = 4680

>>10586850
Scores were 5 Sanguine, 73 Choleric, 84 Melancholic and 53 Phlehmatic.

Also, let's roll for a mental disorder! Because we can!

rolled 45 = 45

>>10586899
Well shit, I screwed that slightly.

{1d20 / [(1d12 + 1d20) - 1] / [5100 - age]}

That's to determine birthday? What the shit were they smoking?!

>>10587012

Draino.

>>10587012
I have no fucking idea what they were smoking. I have never done crack, so it might be that. Burnout admitted to smoking weed, but I don't consider that a ding against weed smokers; Charles Manson smoked weed, too, but he didn't create a batshit RPG.

...wait.

Well, according to that bullshit formula, I rolled a 10, a 12, and a 4.

So, that's 10 / (15 / 5079), which is 3386.

...so, uh, that's 3/3/86? Ah fuck it, it works.

And we're a slave.

Someone found a use for that asshole 1/10th the size of our body!

See, Riddle of Steel could make gigantic injury tables work because they were static, like damage levels that you would just acquire in certain places, and because the game was ABOUT fighting hyper-detailed combats.
FATAL is like that for everything, except half as well thought out and twice as tediously complicated for no reason, with the distinct undertone of atrocious writing and vulgarity.

>>10587057
Manson smoked weed, too, but he didn't create a batshit RPG.

...wait.

Here, you poor brave bastard: this is what your kobold will look like.

>>10587196
FULL PLATE+PARTISAN
DESTROY EVERYBODY

rolled 13 = 13

>>10587196
>Riddle of Steel
What's this one then? First I've heard of it.

Also, rollan for gay

>>10587290
It's Realistic Simulationist Medieval Combat: the RPG.

>>>/rs/Riddle+of+Steel&from=ALL

>>10587290
>roll for debauchery
>roll "receive anal sex"
>we're a slave with a 5-6" ass who takes it up the poop chute
SOMEONE DID FIND A USE FOR IT

Okay, so we've ascertained that FATAL sucks in most ways.

But are there things that are good about it?

A few simple rules or fluff that you can add into a different system and work?

>>10587305
>mention an obscure system
>LogicNinja immediately posts

Jesus christ, it's like a batsignal or something.

>>10587348
If you're really desperate, you could use it for character ideas.

But I would honestly recommend the Central Casting series for that. Less bullshit.

>>10587348
If you were completely insane, totally lost and absolutely alone in a desolate scorched Earth scenario, I wouldn't recommend using that game for kindling.

It has zero redeeming qualities.

>>10587348
It makes me feel better about my system that is tell me what you're going to do and roll d6. No modifiers. Succeed on 6 fail on 1. Roll until either is achieved.

>>10587368
>obscure
>riddle of steal

I read this as "It's not D&D or a WW game so it means no one knows about it"

>>10587391
Riddle of Steel is pretty obscure.

>>10587348
When burned, the light almost manages to not cast shadows of depravity and horror on the wall, highlighted by an unearthly and vile hue. Also, the sound of the book being consumed by the flames is usually distinguishable from the tormented wails of the damned, and the ash only sometimes smells of rotting blood, shit and weeping syphilitic pustules.

>>10587368
I'm Batman.

>>10587415
That sounds like an Unknown Armies rumor about FATAL.

>>10587336
Oh wait, I read the female debauchery table.

Screw it, I'm keeping it.

>>10587391
On this board, that's a fair guess.

>>10587424
Its been five years since I was on the UA website... I have no idea what they thought/think of FATAL. I am worried about showing up to check...

>>10587391
Plenty of people know about, say, WFRP, or GURPS, or even BRP. Riddle of Steel really is an obscure indie game.

>>10587458
I don't think they care about FATAL. Nobody cares about FATAL anymore except channers in it for "teh lulz".

>>10587391
That's practically on the masthead, right under the SPAMMER: DEAD OR ALIVE postings.

>>10587424
FATAL is very much like the Necronomicon, except that at least the Necronomicon tends to get you eaten by monsters before the full horror can sink in.

>>10586899
>Scores were 5 Sanguine, 73 Choleric, 84 Melancholic and 53 Phlehmatic.
so what the fuck does that mean?

>>10587415
>weeping syphilitic pustules

But according to the makers of FATAL, there is no definitive evidence that venereal diseases existed in the Middle Ages, so syphilis is not included.

Never mind that anorexia nervosa is a possible mental disorder, despite being one of the most modern things conceivable...

>>10587368
>slurp, gobble! Mmm, this tripfag cock is so delicious. Sluuuurp.

>>10587492
>FATAL is very much like the Necronomicon, except that at least the Necronomicon tends to get you eaten by monsters before the full horror can sink in.
Do not erect that which you cannot put down.

>>10587502
From what I remember, it's a bullshit personality thing. The top two highest scores are your primary and secondary temperaments, in this case Melancholic-Choleric.

In other words, an introverted-extrovert, or something like that.

>>10587570
Recognising that someone exists is as demeaning as sucking cock?

>>10587579
>Do not erect that which you cannot put down.
That's what I told your mom.

>>10587607
>sucking cock
>demeaning
What.
Why do you expect to ever get a blowjob if you think that way.

>>10587579
If you ever feel the need to use "erect" and "FATAL" in the same sentence, where "erect" is describing something in the real world, then it's already too late for you. The best you can do is purge yourself now, before the contagion has a chance to spread.

Wait a second, I have to roll my skill points?

I have to roll 21 times to see how many points I have for skills?

WHAT THE FUCK SORT OF SYSTEM IS THIS SHIT?!

>>10587636
>WHAT THE FUCK SORT OF SYSTEM IS THIS SHIT?!
It's the worst RPG ever.

We told you, cockfalcon.

>>10587636
The KZ system, in tabletop form.

>>10587651
But I'm not the OP. I'm someone who told Dragon Age to fuck off while I do something about as fun as pulling your intestines out of your ass.

>>10587636
It only gets worse. At each level up, you have to roll to see how many points you're allowed to put in them each level.

>>10587651
It's official. Guy rolling, you must tripfag yourself as cockfalcon!

If you stop now, you'll never achieve immortality.

Keep going!

>>10587593
Introversion/extroversion and temperaments are not the same thing. They cross at some points though.
Also, a person who is equally melancholic/choleric is some sort of serious bullshit.

I say FATAL is a perfect system.

Note, I said A perfect.

In other words, it has attained a form of perfection-perfection equaling the pinnacle and unsurpassable state of being.


Nobody can make a worse system. Not even the top rules lawyers at /tg/.

It is the perfect flawed system.

>>10587684
Our warnings abounded, though. The rattlesnake shake was a damned loud one, at that.

Stay strong, anon.

>>10582842
Just got finished reading both of these.
The review was damn funny. And I lol'd heartily.

But the rebuttal.... Good God man!
It's like every word is chosen to be intentionally stupid.
Pic related

>>10587781
>Nobody can make a worse system.
Someday I will try.
An easy way to start would be doubling the rolls on anything FATAL has.

>>10587781
>Nobody can make a worse system.
Racial Holy War.

>>10587852
It's been abandoned though. Somehow people are still working on FATAL.

What I want to understand is 2 things. How did somebody think writing a 1000 page RPG book with rolls to determine anal circumfrance was going to sell and who on earth actually bought this book to scan it.

>>10587712
Till the end of time?

>>10587878
If you so wish.

Well, I was going to put points in sexual adeptness (seeing as this kobold likes it up the chocolate tube), but the modifier from the sub-abilities would make the total modifier -22 at the most.

>>10587877
There are FATAL-based RP forums.
If 4chan can support /b/, it is proof that the internet can support anything, period.

>>10587940
>There are FATAL-based RP forums.
No, there aren't.

There's a skill in dying?

Okay, there has to be another use for it, it can;t be your ability to die, right?

New FATAL stat. Roll for how many ounces of fluid your intestines can hold and how far you can squirt said liquid with your anus.

73 ounces and 4 feet 6 inches!

>>10587985
that would be one of the things I'd like IRL

fun skill to score a critical failure in

Let's see, I've done the character info, the (sub) abilities, etc etc, just finished skills, don't get an inventory and don't get magic points.

Am I finished, is it done?

>>10587985
If it was, it would be the only skill anyone tied to FATAL would ever want to have.

>>10588108
Just checked, it's your skill in using dyes.

I am disappoint.

>>10588105
You forgot the drinking, the sobbing, and the fistful of pills hastily swallowed before you curl up into the fetal position and wait for the hurting to end forever.

>>10588126
that's spelled dyeing though

>>10587952
My ex-roomie found (and inflicted upon me) several campaign forums; most are based out of places like bbs.stardestroyer.net. One was on WORA or SWOFA, for a while.

>>10588146
The drinking I have covered. Just finished the last of my glass of Jim Beam.

The rest I have yet to do. But if someone could confirm that I have indeed finished everything I can, I will then get round to figuring out my scanner again to show you my shitty ass handwriting. And to prove I did this piece of shit.

Total time is 3 hours, 30 minutes.

>>10588105
Your not finished yet. You will never be finished.

You see, the terrible secret of FATAL is that there's always another page. Sure, you can skip to the end of the book and see what's there, but if you start reading the rule book, after so many pages you'll realize that you're not getting any closer to the end of the book. Unless you deliberately skip to the end, the book will continue forever.

FATAL never ends.

>>10588217
Don't pull that shit on me. It's 4am, I want sleep!

>>10588217
>start reading the rule book from the beginning,
fixed

>>10588237
>Don't pull that shit on me. It's 4am, I want sleep!

No you DON'T want to sleep. That's when the dreams come!!

>>10588199
Your handwriting is automatically excused. I would have long-since chewed my wrists open in an attempt to keep it from happening. That kind of thing destroys your fine motor skills.

Regardless, I think the character is created. GIve me a minute to realise I haven't installed the scanner software on this PC and remember that the install CD is in the garage loft, causing me to break down crying at my inability to prove I did it.

>>10588284
Oh thank fuck, it's installed!

>>10588284
When you come back with the CD you'll have found the the character sheet has mysteriously disappeared.

>>10588284

If you can get proof, we will always remember you as "That poor mad bastard who rolled a FATAL character so we didn't have to". We shall tell tales of your exploit. Admittedly, you'll probably end up like the protagonist at the end of a Lovecraft story, alone and mad, but you'll be remembered!

Here it is, page 1. I'll take a look through the other pages, see what's worth uploading.

>>10588328
>Admittedly, you'll probably end up like the protagonist at the end of a Lovecraft story, alone and mad, but you'll be remembered!
Not that you'll be remembered as a hero.
No, your story will be a cautionary tale.

>>10588303
If you should (very likely, now) find yourself in prison, approach the biggest badass in the yard and stare him straight in the eye.

Then say, "I built a full-length character in FATAL."
Deck him, as hard as you can, and follow it up with:
>ROLL FOR ANAL CIRCUMFERENCE.

>>10588368
More views of the anal circumference and temperament & morality scores.

Apart from the skills, and a weird message I wrote regarding my inability to spell on the languages page, that seems to be it. Give me a moment to put them all on one page.

>>10588486
Someone made a thread about you on page one.

>>10588439

I was puzzling over the initiative bit when I noticed

>hymen resistance

Whaaaaaat?

>>10588439
That is terrifying on many levels.

>>10588439
MY EYES!!!

>>10588549
Link?

Also. which one of you took the end of my mechanical pencil?

>>10588682
You heard me say "terrifying", right?
That's not a code word for something.

>>10588725

It's probably this one.

>>10587996

Tell them! Tell the people! Before it's too late!

>>10588725
see
>>10588501

>>10587940
>There are FATAL-based RP forums.

No. No. That's not true. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE

NOOOOOO

>>10588797

Well chaps, it's been fun...sort of. But it's late and I must retire to bed.

That and the realisation that I just spent 3 1/2 hours creating a character I'll never use has hit me and I want to go cry now.

>>10588932
I commend your perseverance, at the very least. You've been a real sport.

>>10588932
You're some sort of hero. I wish I could give a better compliment than that. But I'm afraid you're terminally insane

>>10588932
You did good.
You have made a cautionary tale that will be followed for years.
Think of yourself as the guy in the urban legend who gets killed by a hook-handed murderer at Lookout Point, except you are the hook-handed killer and now insane.

Pic unrelated; its just a cat.

>>10588976
Why not the guy who spots the murderer in the window looking in at him, until he realises that's his reflection?

>>10589022
Sure. Why not.
Just remember: when you finished that character (fuck, when you *started* that character) its all /sanity from here on in.

>>10588096
BULLSHIT.

Almost anybody can fit one gallon of mayonnaise in their ass. You must be a midget or small child.

>>10589085
...that...that isn't mayo.

>>10589173
...nor a small child.

>>10588932
I was tempted to offer you an opportunity to play the character... but then I realized what I was doing.

FATAL.

Anal halfling projection traps.

>>10589266
Eh, at the very least, it gave me an idea to play my next character as a kobold slave.

>>10589279
The worst part is, it's even worse than that sounds somehow

why was this thread so awesome
i am grinning like a maniac

The only problem with this thread is I can't sufficiently explain to my wife what I'm laughing so hard at. I just tried to and succeeded only in muttering something about rolling for anal circumference, which I really don't think helped a lot.