>>10655864

Sorry, continued from here

I reiterate, stop these foolish out of character shenanigans.

Maid Quest? I believe you misspeak. You obviously meant to continue MAN QUEST.

HYESSSSSS... contine the scene that you have begun good sir....

>>10658638

Well, those retards fucked up a perfectly good lesbian dominance scene. I'm gonna let those fuckwits bail themselves out.

If Jehanne attempts to dominate and gets counter-dominated, that's just fine.
And we all know that, if Jehanne can't take Samantha, that's exactly how it's going to go down.

Though, honestly, I'm rooting for Jehanne. She could use this. It'd do her some good.

This is getting dumb. Just drop the jehanne quest and lets look in on carmine's investigation.

sage for pedo fetish quest.

>maid_in_heaven_super_s
I knew there was something I downloaded weeks ago and then forgot about it.

>>10658610

Start dominating her while babbling about our insecurities. Eventually break down crying and making out with Sam while she is tied up with a vibrating dildo in her ass

>>10658674

Its getting dumb because you fucktards insisted on acting like we're still the main character, instead a submissive, bisexual, masochistic paladin maid.

A shift from the status quo is in order! Let Jehanne's insecurities paradoxically provide her with a backbone. It'll be healthy for both of the lovely ladies.

>>10658610
Apologize; we have no idea what came over us.

Put rope down, confess our insecurities.

but she has begun to act like a tyrent..
we must purge her of her evil...

>>10658692
Yes, that is why it's getting dumb, but no, I am not one of those guys.

archived. :3

>>10658692
It's getting dumb because there's such strong resistance to letting Jehanne continue to evolve.

>>10658696
THIS

>>10658704
and by purge you mean loosen up

God knows, we can't have our insecure masochistic maid be anything but insecure and masochistic. That would be wrong.

I'm gonna go with >>10658688
Except break down within the next minute and a half.

>>10658667
All right, here goes.

Samantha is going to attempt to reverse the domination attempt through Affection. I need someone to roll 1d6

> Samantha's Affection: 9

You have three courses of action.

You can attempt to force the domination attempt physically (Athletics) in which case you need a 3+

You can attempt to convince her of this through an emotional appeal (Affection) in which case you need a 4+

First one to roll it decides it. Choose Affection or Athletics. Remember that, win or lose, your choices have consequences.

>>10658710

Seriously. Let us explore a facet of Jehanne's character that might make her want to take the lead...

... or explore just WHY Samantha is seemingly incapable of relinquishing power or control. If she even is.

>>10658696

This is good. Let's try it.

The domination of desperate tears.

>>10658696
>>10658710

Let's leave the purifying to Master eh? How do we back out of this without seeming like a fucktard?

>>10658749

Sorry. The third course of action is just to back down.

>>10658750
THANK YOU.

rolled 3 = 3

>>10658749
Affection for the hell of it.

rolled 3 = 3

>>10658749

Affection, and be sure to include the breakdown and insecurities

rolled 6 = 6

>>10658749

Affection.

>>10658749

Affection.

Don't suppose we could use any of the master's xp to boost the roll if it fails, could we?

>>10658782
>>10658779

FUCK! So close!

>>10658737
Yeah, there's been loads of justification for a big change in here character. This totally isn't just people going "loldominate teh dominatrix"

>>10658778

Delighted.

>>10658779
*sigh*
Right then.
Business as usual it is, then.

>"Through the Gates of the Silver Key" is a short story co-written by H. P. Lovecraft and E. Hoffmann Price between October 1932 and April 1933
remember that silver key we stole from hell? the one that will alter the world if used?

>>10658784

Goddamn you, where were you 2 minutes ago?

>>10658779
>>10658782
WE GOT TWO MOTHERFUCKING THREES WE CAN DO THIS
>Affection
You fuckers.

>>10658773

Can't we just break down and confess all our troubles to her? A good Mistress should be able to help her sub in times like that.

>>10658786

D'oh.
Oh well, someone else rolled before me.

...a 3, followed by a 6. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUU-

XP?

>>10658779
>Athletics for the hell of it.
Fixed.

FIXED SO FUCKING HARD

Terrified psychotic breakdown may still happen if Sam gets pissed.

>>10658800

OHO!

>>10658779

"Jehanne!" Samantha snaps, her voice sharp. "STOP."

You hesitate for a moment, then Samantha sits up and puts her hand on your face. "What's come over you?" she asks, surprisingly gently. "Did I go too far? I'm sorry about that if I did. I thought you liked it when I played the cruel mistress."

> Samantha has successfully escaped the domination attempt.

> Jehanne is under a STRESS EXPLOSION: CRYING

Goshujin, let something happen.
Please for the love of fucking god, let something happen.

There's room for this to be interesting. There's reason. There's rationale. Let them develop. Let us see something more out of them. Please!

>>10658805
We can do that AFTER we tie her up.

Because we got two 3s.

:3

>>10658779
>>10658782
>>10658784
If you average it all out, it's like we rolled THREE 4s.


...that's probably not going to fly, is it.

>>10658831
Goddamn it.
Right. Off to bed.

Try not to fuck things up any harder than you already have, anonymous.

>>10658800

HAHA

AND WHO WAS BITCHING ABOUT GOSHUJIN NOT MAKING ENOUGH AWESOME REFERENCES?

Also, in which thread did we discover the purpose of that key? I don't remember.

>>10658843
Looks like >>10658831 no.

;_;

>>10658831

And now can we do >>10658805?

>>10658843
No, not really.

Anyway, I'm having a bit of a trouble figuring out how exactly Jehanne will express her insecurities. If some writefag here can think of a good way to express it, the Master will get 10 bonus XP

Tell her our insecuritys.

>>10658831

Confess insecurities. Initiate character development.

>>10658831
NOW we start gushing about our issues.

Relax, gentlemen, just because we won't be reversing sub/dom roles doesn't mean that Samantha won't act on Jehanne's confession of insecurity.

Give Goshujin some credit as a writer.

>>10658869

Hyesssssssssssssssss

lickscomputerscreen.jpg

>>10658864
"I'm unhappy and you're hotter than me, please rape my ass some to make me feel better."

Any all the "keep in character" fags rejoiced.

>>10658903

That was terrible.

>>10658831
"I don't... I don't know what came over me. I've been through so much over the past few days. I've escaped hell, left my old patron, embraced a new one, become part of a... a family in a world I hardly understand. Sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. But I do know that I care about you, and I DO like what we do together."

>>10658864

"Samantha... I'm sorry. I'm just not... not good at this. I was raised and trained as a warrior, in a religious academy... military discipline enforced by a lash. All I know how to be is, well, what I am. Hired muscle, a brute."

>>10658915
That was the point.

>>10658903
DIRKA DIRKA KEEEEEL THEE INFADEL DIRKA DIRKA! JEHAUD ALLAH DIRKA.

>>10658864

If you want me to do it, I'll need some background info the Dom/Sub dynamic between the two of them

>>10658864
>Jehanne's confession

"Why am I here? How did my life end up in this place, worshipping a goddess of love, pledged to a strange man, taking orders from a beautiful woman? I make a much better guard dog than a lapdog, just ask those criminals back there. So then, why do the gods ask me to devote myself to a life of love?"

>>10658864
"It's... I feel so worthless!

I know the Master loves you over me... but I'm nothing without him! I don't know what I'd do without him... *sniff*

He never pays attention to me anymore... Ever since he slept with me. How could he even love me?! Look at me! My hands are rough, calloused... Not like yours! I... *sob* Does he think I'm ugly?

I can't take it anymore, Sam! I just can't...!"

She cries incomprehensibly after this.

"I came here to serve because I had failed as a paladin who upheld honor and justice due to my deficiencies in self control. But even as a maid who now serves a goddess of love, I still find I am deficient because I lack femininity and can only settle problems with a blade."

>>10658922
>>10658924
This. Followed by a nice helping of

WHY AM I SO BAD AT LOVE? ;_;

>>10658970
This is the best spin on the admittedly disappointing outcome.
Go with this one.

>>10658903
>>10658924

-----
Samantha's gentle touch on your face is the last straw. You clench your fists in your lap and bow your head, weeping bitterly. "I'm just. . . I just. . . I just feel so. . . so UGLY around people like you," you whimper. "No man would want a woman with scars like these. . . not when he could have one like you." You curl up and hug yourself, feeling miserable and angry. "The young master doesn't even look at me any more. His eyes are on you only, or on that little demoness, Alicia. I feel. . . I feel so lonely sometimes. You've been good to me, mistress, but. . . I don't know."

Samantha doesn't answer, but she sits next to you and puts her arms around you tightly. "Jehanne," she whispers. "You are beautiful. Otherwise, I wouldn't be playing with you every night." She gives you a kiss on the cheek and cuddles you tightly. "You know, you're the only one of the maids I like to tease? That's because you're the only one I trust to see that side of me. Everyone else thinks of me as the perfect head maid, so elegant and proper." She gives you a tight squeeze. "You get to see the real me. And that's the truth."

>>10658970
Seconding this, but add in "And then there's you, Mistress, so beautiful, so capable, it... its like I'm just a pale imitation of you.. Just a second-rate knockoff"

>>10659015
Keep going.

Don't stop until she does this.

>>10659015
DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

>>10659042
Source for delicious /u/?

>>10659015
>engage true love sex scene
>still not allowed to cum
ffffffffffffffffff-

OK. I'm out.
Good luck, everyone.

>>10659015

Not good enough writefaggin, eh?

>>10659070

We're a sub. We wouldn't be allowed to orgasm anyways, not unless we do exceptionally well.

>>10659015
>"The young master doesn't even look at me any more. His eyes are on you only, or on that little demoness, Alicia. I feel. . . I feel so lonely sometimes."

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

>>10659015
> "It's... I feel so worthless! I know the Master loves you over me... but I'm nothing without him! I don't know what I'd do without him... *sniff* He never pays attention to me anymore... Ever since he slept with me. How could he even love me?! Look at me! My hands are rough, calloused... Not like yours! I... *sob* Does he think I'm ugly? I can't take it anymore, Sam! I just can't...!"

> "And then there's you, Mistress, so beautiful, so capable, it... its like I'm just a pale imitation of you.. Just a second-rate knocko--"

You are interrupted by Samantha putting her hands on your face and kissing you. On the mouth. Her lips are soft and tender, and her hands, normally so rough, are gentle on your skin.

Then, as you sit there, stunned, she takes your scarred, rough hands in hers, and kisses each finger, one at a time. "These hands. . . these are warrior's hands," she says. She puts her hands to yours, and, for the first time, you realize that her seemingly perfect hands have rough spots on them as well, especially at the tip of each index finger, where they pull the trigger of her guns. "And if you ask me," she says, smiling, "the hands of a warrior are the most beautiful hands of all."

>> RELATIONSHIP UPGRADE: Samantha and Jehanne have just "seduced" each other.

>>10659095

D:

>>10659095

Felicia and Jehanne need massive amounts of loving when we get back.

>>10659109
This seems a good spot to leave the scene and move on to another sidequest. Preferably Carmine.

>>10659109

And now we ask our Mistress how we can serve her.

We are fucking Jehanne night and day when we get back.

>>10659109
Does anyone have that Laser High Five comic?

Because that's the only thing that could express how I feel about this.

>>10659109

:3

>>10659068
Kannazuki no Miko. It has giant robots, giant robot catgirls and lesbians.

>>10659093
The Master doesn't need to know.

Just this once.

>>10659147
No. How can we possibly stop now?

Now we have to make HER blush. Because Samantha blushing is the most glorious sight in the universe, remember?

>>10659153
Was already in the plans, in fact it was the very first thing on the list of people to screw.

Jehanne, Koyomi, then Felicia, repeatedly possibly with a side of Jehanne.

>>10659183
She's a paladin.

May I suggest, as an alternative, something we've seen the master do lately?

Sexless cuddle-sleep.

Adorable.

>>10659200
Actually, it was "give Jehanne sexy orders, then go bang Koyomi's lights out". But whatever.

>>10659183
You don't get how Dominance and Submission works, do you?

>>10659151
>>10659147

"Mistress," you whisper, bowing your head. "You are too good to me. How can I. . ."

Samantha puts her finger to your lips. "The name is Sam," she says, smiling. "Samantha if you prefer. But from now on, love, you don't call me mistress unless we're having fun in the bedroom, all right?"

You smile back at her. "Yes, miss. . . yes, Miss Samantha," you say, shyly.

"Just Samantha, please," Samantha says, chidingly. "No Miss."

"Yes, M. . . Yes, Samantha," you say, blushing as you bow your head deferentially.

"We'll work on that, love," Samantha says. She gives your hand another kiss and a squeeze, then smirks wickedly. "But just a warning. If you ever try to tie me up again, you're going to get it bad, all right Janey?"

"That's fair, Samantha," you laugh.

-----
> SEX, CUDDLE, or MOVE ON?

And if someone says that it's out of character for Samantha not to go all crazy dominatrix on Jehanne this once, I'm going to scream.

Let them snuggle. Solidify the relationship's new depth.

>>10659239

CARMINE's story.

>>10659109
This guy watches the entire deal, hidden in the shadows.

>>10659239


I cuddle.

End her story with Cuddles, then move on.

>>10659239
Cuddle and fade to black as we move to.

CARMINES STORY!

>>10659239

Our Mistress is so good to us, we have to repay her kindness with our body, if she allows it. Then, we can cuddle if she so desires.

>>10659239
Sex.

The sappiest, cutest, most facial-capillery-exploding sex EVER EXPERIENCED.

>>10659239
Sex.

>>10659239
Cuddle time. More d'aww.

>>10659239

Move on. I really want to see how you handle CARMINE.

Also, for the record, I know we're trying to keep it interactive and all, but it's obvious that anon has been giving you some problems by controlling an NPC during what should be characterization scenes...

... don't be afraid to largely ignore anon to keep your characters on track, umkay?

Carmine time.

Cuddles!

>>10659269
D'AWWWWWW FOR THE DA'AWWWW GOD!
CUTE FOR THE CUTE THRONE!

>>10659239
Slaanesh appears with tentacle raep time

CUDDLESEX

SOMEONE ARCHIVE THIS

>>10659239
Cuddle then Move On.

>>10659253
>>10659244
>>10659245

Seems like there's a strong impulse to move away from the lesbian love fest, so. . .

-----
You take off your cloak and wrap it around Samantha, then hug her close to you, warming her up despite the chill and the wet. She shivers a bit as she lays in your arms, then thinks as she looks into the water. "And you jump into that cold thing every morning?" she says, wonderingly. "It's icy cold."

"I find it bracing, and rather invigorating," you admit.

"You really are a masochist, aren't you?" Samantha laughs.

The two of you continue to laugh as you cuddle together under the trees for a bit. Seems that a corner has been turned in this relationship, although you're not quite sure how this is going to end up. But you do know that, for right now, things are going to be just fine.

-----
END JEHANNE's SIDE QUEST

JEHANNE GAINED 1 AFFECTION, 1 LUCK, and 1 WILL

>>10659302

DAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW

CarmineQuest time?

I think this is the first time we'll see/talk to/interact with Carmine since we've gotten her boon. I wonder if her mental state has been altered.

>>10659292

archived it almost as soon as the thread was made.

>>10659327

Be aware that Goshujin might just punish us for revisiting Carmime.

>>10659355
That's fine, because ANGRY SEX.

>>10659356
So wait, are we the master or the maid?

>>10659356

if you think that's bad for /tg/, you are soooo summerfag.

>>10659382
Master.

>>10659382

This is a sidequest, at this time ingame, we're at DISNEY WORLD.

>>10659385
Hell, it's not even accurate, nobody in these threads has ever denied that it was a thin disguise for fapfics, wrapped up with some roleplaying.

>>10659355

nah brah, now that she's SEXY ANGRY, the poor damn GM has options. He might still wish he could forget Carmine, but it's not as bad now.

>>10659239

Cuddle for a bit. Then move on. That should be adequate.

CARMINE'S SIDEQUEST BEGINS.
-----

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" you scream at the top of your lungs. Rage fills your black heart as you stare at the "Com-Pewter" screen, wishing the words on this strange, glowing screen would change. But despite your denial, there is no way to get around this fact.

You have just been kicked out of the Angry Marines.

You stare morosely at the email on your screen. It took you forever to figure out a way to get to your account: most internets have a hard time figuring out how to transfer data across different data protocols, but it's much worse when you have to also go across parallel dimensions. Once you finally managed to get in, the first thing you saw was an email from Chapter Master Iratus Maximus declaring you a, "FUCKING NIGGER COWARD WHO FUCKED OFF THROUGH THE WARP LIKE A WHORE AND WOUND UP CAPTURED BY A SLAANESHI FUCKTWAT," thus stripping you of your rank as a Battle Sister and kicking you out of the corps.

The second email you see is a message from Sister Licanthus ordering you to return to the Orders Famulous once you escape from the Warp and return to the convent for training and re-indoctrination. The latter, you figure, will probably involve being Servitor-ized.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" you scream again, and you punch a hole in the wall with your powered armor. A moment later, you hear a loud beeping noise, and your armor shuts down, going into the rest position.

There is a little red number on the lower corner of your display. "POWER RESERVE: 0%." And not a fusion recharge station on the planet.

Your powered armor is now a useless hunk of metal until you can get it recharged.

Climbing out of the inert suit, you go to your closet and start searching for something else to wear. Unfortunately, the only set of clean clothes you can find is the costume you wore for the ALL WARP'S EVE party last year.

Pic related.

>>10659406

come for the fapfic.

stay for the INSANE SHENANIGANS, riding bats out of hell, trolling archdemons, and teatime chats with the UNDEAD BODY OF WALT DISNEY.

>>10659387
Guess I was right to ignore these shit threads then,

>>10659439
Indeed.

>>10659422
Well that's not too bad an alternative. You can probably ask the girl with pigtails and glasses to charge up your armor again.

Oh yeah, that reminds me, +5 XP for trolls in the thread.

>>10659422
Yay! Finally!

>>10659422
Let's go get smashed. Drown our sorrows.

>>10659422

>recharge armor usually requiring fusion recharge stations

>WHERE DID THE FOUR THOUSAND DOLLAR POWER BILL COME FROM

>>10659422

Drink till we drop.

>>10659422
Schlick furiously to relieve tension

>and teatime chats with the UNDEAD BODY OF WALT DISNEY.

Put on commisar outfit. Consult Koyomi about getting our armor recharged, maybe allow her to study it in exchange for her assistance.

>>10659422

Yes, drink. And while we're in the kitchen getting booze, let's make a sammich.

ANGRY STYLE.

>>10659488
>>10659486
>>10659478
Combine these two options. Drink with one hand, masturbate with other.

>>10659506
That's amature hour, Carmine masturbates with one hand, drinks with another, and chomps a cigar while she does so.

>>10659422
Whelp. Get dressed to start with.

>>10659422
Put on the outfit, STOMP our way to the AdMech-wannabe and exchange the right to study our power suit for something that can charge it.

We need something to take our mind of our present predicament.

Start doing laps around the mansion. 200 of them, at a full sprint.

>>10659526
This.

>>10659470
>>10659461
>>10659486
>>10659478

Maybe that techpriest with the unusual glasses can help you. But first, you need a beer.

As you put on the Commissar costume, you arrange your hat neatly over your short, white hair, making sure your pointed ears from your half-Eldar heritage don't get in the way. You check your charge on your las-pistol: it's completely out, of course, not that it would be much more useful if it HAD a full charge, but it's the principle of the thing. You finish getting dressed and head out of your bedroom, slamming the door behind you.

Things in the kitchen are fairly quiet. You see that hideous mutant with the feline ears finishing up its breakfast of ichthyoid flesh. As it sees you approaching, it flattens its ears and hides under the couch. You ignore it. You are raging, and you need a drink.

You open up the liquor cabinet and pull out a bottle of light wine labeled "BACARDI 151" Popping open the cork, you take a long, hard pull, gulping down the alcohol, then wiping off the back of your mouth.

Not enough to get drunk off of, but then, all you need is to take the edge off.

>>10659503
jalapeno coffee with a tomato and and baconnaise sandwich

Everyone who posts in this thread is a fucking loser. It's funny how these fags are the samefags trying to profess how "hardcore" being anonymous is.

>>10659564
Keep going, we get EXP for this.

>>10659564
YAY more XP!

>>10659492

BELIEVE IT, LETTY

>>10659577
Only once per thread.

>>10659569
>>10659577
>hurr durr moar exp guyz!

Exactly, a bunch of fucking losers. This pic is an accurate representation of how most of you look.

rｅmoｅｖ_yUor_ｉlＬＧｅａl_ＣLＯEＮ_ＦＯ hＴTp://TＩＮｙUrl.ｃOｍ/3ＹKPhf3_iｍmeＩｄATＥＬｙ. pfhqhi ahghpz d wipmqfw pun qmg pntlvhggixyvdsfa

>>10659564
Baby's first troll, how cute.

Anyways, obtain more booze, drink it as we continue to Koyomi's. Make offer of armor study for armor power.

>>10659605
Now now. You forget that we're also balding.

>>10659552

>BICARIDI 151

A fine vintage, but I share Carmine's assessment of it's strength.

High tolerance, blessing or curse?

>>10659618
Is there really any other logical choice? This.

>>10659605
That is the most ridiculous mustache I have ever seen.

>>10659564
I'd like to point out that you have just posted in this thread :) One of us.

-----
Taking the bottle with you, you stomp your way out of the kitchen and towards the techpriest's enclave. "SISTER KOYOMI!" you roar. "GET YOUR NIGGER FUCKING FUCK TWAT ASS OUT HERE AND HELP ME FIX MY FUCKING FUCK GAK POWERED ARMOR!"

You pound on the door with your gloved fist a couple of times, then Koyomi opens the door, looking really damn confused. "Oh, hi there," she says. "How are you doing, Carmine?" She pauses and looks at your outfit. "Ummm. Nice suit," she says, uncertainly.

"KOYOMI!" you scream. "MY FUCKING JEW-ASS FUCKING POWERED ARMOR JUST CRAPPED OUT ON ME LIKE A FUCKING STRIPPER AT A BACHELOR PARTY! GIMME A RECHARGE!"

"I don't have the power for that, not at the moment," Koyomi says. "I'll need to get a fusion core from work, maybe. . . or build one. It'll take a while."

"THEN WHAT THE BITCH AM I SUPPOSED TO DO UNTIL THEN!?" you scream.

"I don't know. . . just hang out? You seem to be doing okay as it is," Koyomi says, scratching her head. "I'll do what I can, though, and try to get it set up as soon as possible."

"THANKS A LOT, CUNTLICKER!" you howl, and slam the door in her face and walk off.

It's good to have friends :)

>>10659671
I thought she wasn't ANGRY/ANGRY anymore...

>>10659671

Might as well go see if we can dig some goddamn fucking trenches so that dickshitting asscunt of an boss doesn't die again.

>>10659671

>It's good to have friends :)

I was halfway through my beer when I read that.

I had to plug in another keyboard while my first one dries off.

>>10659671

Go beat the fuck out of something.

The beer of this world is pathetic and weak. We must brew our own from corpses and rage.

>>10659661

And i'm more than sure a good majority of you have something similar to that.

>>10659618
Nice come back faggot, did your boyfriend tell you that one? Let me ask you a serious question, do you only come on 4chan so you can hide behind the mask of anonymous when people start to ridicule your faggotry?

>>10659671
Contemplate your current situation while looking for a fight.

>>10659742
Nah, it's pretty obvious what I like. Are you offering?

>>10659738
Or just find a dorf to brew it...

Speaking of which, Goshujin, can we have a dorf maid as a brewmistress? Pretty please?

>>10659742
I shave my mustache.

>>10659742

What makes you think I hide my cock gobbling in real life, troll?

Step one: hit something

step two: pull back fist

step three: wash, rinse, and repeat.

>>10659772
We've capped our MAID capacity.

>>10659771

Let me ask you another serious question, does it hurt being such a retard?

>>10659772
Man we still have a giantess/muscle girl on the list of fetishes people want maids for.

>>10659671
Be that angry guy who yells at his cats.
Except we're yelling at Felicia.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!

RUN! FUCKING RUN!!!"

>>10659784
Why bother with the washing and rinsing?

Much more efficient to just skip those and go straight to repeat.

I suggest that Goshujin-sama DOCK us XP for every person that responds to a troll. People who don't know how to use greasemonkey + scripts to hide posts are just as bad as summerfags.

>>10659707
Sounds good, might as well do something productive.

>>10659806

Doesn't Carmine fill the muscle fetish?

>>10659810

>Be that angry guy who yells at his cats.

I just realized that I am well on my way to being "that guy."

>>10659806
and what ever is in the alien sphere

>>10659707
Give her some time to mellow out, she just put on the outfit :)

>>10659703
You decide that as long as you're not doing anything, you might as well go and dig some goddamn trenches so that the fucking asshole in charge of this place doesn't get killed. Again.

You consider grabbing a pickaxe from the tool shed, but decide against this. Instead, you head out to the edge of the manor, find a good place to start entrenching, and start just punching the ground, screaming, "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKCUNTNIGGERFUCCCCCKING PLAAAANET! RIP AND TEAR, RIP AND TEAR, RIP AND TEAR!" at the top of your lungs.

Before long, you've loosened the soil with tearing and ripping motions of your fingernails, and you've managed to dig up a three-foot deep hole by the simple expedient of punching and ripping as hard as you can. Still screaming, you start chewing on the earth and biting off pieces of it to widen your foxhole, until you have a nice, six-foot deep hole about the width of your armspan.

You're in the middle of tearing the ground up and widening your foxhole to make it into a trench when you hear some commotion. Looking up, you see Jehanne, that cunt bitch whore of a paladin, dropping off a couple of strangers in front of that moronic fucktard of a butler. She's stark naked.

>>10659825
Her athletics are actually abysmally low.

>>10659836

This is heresy.

>>10659825
Isn't she like really weak outside of her power armor though?

>>10659836

VICTIMS

BLOOD AND THUNDER

>>10659799
No, should it?
>>10659671
Anyway, perhaps we can check the manor's defenses? Our handiwork in interior design? Hopefully meet Reginald about to execute two skum for heresy and crimes against the Emperor?

>>10659856

-4 STR for Eldar, -4 STR for chick.

>>10659825
she's a female half eldar half vampire.

>>10659836
>moronic fucktard of a butler

Wow, I thought by now Reg had impressed everyone.

Anyways, INVESTIGATE THAT FUCKING BULLSHIT.

>>10659836

Well what the grundlefucking thundercunts is this horseshit? Find out what the fucking fuck that bitch is doing naked.

>>10659836
Victimizable people! We must investigate further, but first spit out the chunks of earth that we still have in our mouth.

>>10659893
>Grundlefucking

I like the cut of your jib.

>>10659850
>>10659858

FUCKING HERESY! You're not sure exactly what's going on, but even from a distance, you can see that the assholes are planning on leaving the enemy alive!

You pull yourself out of the foxhole and start running across the fields towards the strangers, frothing at the mouth, screaming like a banshee.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. . ."

You take a moment to pause and take a deep breath, then,

". . . UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU!"

That last part is punctuated by slamming your fist into a guy's teeth and punching his head straight off.

At least, that's how it usually works.

This time, you just punch him really hard, then jump up and down swearing angrily as you realize his teeth cut up your knuckles. You also reflect on the differential in hardness between a cerametal power fist and your bare knuckles.

"Great timing, Miss Carmine," Reginald says. "I was just going to ask you here to help me interrogate these miscreants. If you would please. . ."

>>10659911

Oh good. RIP AND TEAR, RIP AND TEAR, RIP AND TEAR.

>>10659911
Unleash a flurry of punches at the balls of the one you just cut your fists on and say yes.

Poor Carmine... a child of two worlds, now exiled from the one group she had found kinship with, and stuck on an alien planet with no real friends.

She makes up for it by catching that angst and punching it RIGHT IN THE DICK, but still, there's a reason for that rage.

You know what we should do? When we get back to the mansion, we need to buy Carmine a gen-u-ine Gyroget pistol, and see if we can't use our machine shop to manufacture plenty of 13mm gyrojet rockets for it. It's not a bolter, but it's the next best thing.

Start pistol whipping them with your laz.
Thunderkunting peice of crap lazerpointer might as well be good for SOMETHING.

>>10659936

>Gyroget

did I seriously just type that.

>>10659893
>>10659907

"WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK WAS THAT BITCH DOING NAKED!?" you scream at Reginald, as you kick one of the two strangers in the nuts, channeling your pain into rage.

"Miss Jehanne? Oh, that. The criminals caught her in the bath. . ."

"GETTING CAUGHT OFF-GUARD IS HERESY!" you scream. "FUCKING HERETIC COWARD! A GUARDSMAN IS ON DUTY AT ALL TIMES! EVEN ON THE LATRINE, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE READY TO FIGHT FOR YOUR EMPEROR!"

Wow. Must be the costume rubbing off on you.

"Miss Jehanne was prepared," Reginald says, very calmly. "She captured both criminals and brought them down here to us."

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Samantha, Reginald's bitch-ass coward of a daughter, slinking away like a bitch.

SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE
SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE
SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE

>>10659911
You need to be more Commissar angry. Execute them for heresy!

>>10659939
las-weapons can be recharged with fire, solar power, or body heat.

>>10659911
I guess beat one of them with the laspistol? Might as well serve some good, and it'll hurt our hand less.

>>10659911
Brit Cop/Angry Cop
I smell a sitcom.

For the betterment of mankind kill yourself.

>>10659979
so burn there feet with las fire

>>10659962
Demand Reginald take us to the interrogation room so we can unleash some more anger on the robbers.

>>10659979
Or by placing the power pack firmly between your buttcheeks, but dont let the cogboys catch you doing that or you'll get shot for tech heresy.

>>10659931
>>10659934

You grab the two fuckers by their heads, slam their heads together like coconuts, and repeat over and over, howling, "YOU FUCKING FUCKHOLES! YOU FUCKED WITH THE WRONG FUCKERS! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!"

After about a half-dozen rapid head-smacks, Reginald grabs one of the two thugs and pulls him away, then slaps him in the face, hard. "Now, listen up, chap," he says, smoothly. "You have two choices. Either you tell us what we need to know, or I give you back to the nice lady here. What'll it be?"

Cletus screams incoherently and passes out from sheer terror.

>>10660007
Grab the second one by the throat, proceed to scream in face.

>>10659962
I don't play 40k, but Commisar's are strategists, right? Let's try to embrace that.

Recognize that getting info from these two people is more important than yelling at Sam AKA IGNORE THAT BITCH THERE ARE ASSHOLES TO PUNCH.

Forgive my ignorance, but what happens to Carmine if she was completely naked? Would she still be angry, or would she mellow out? I guess what I am asking is it the costumes making her so hostile or is it just her winning personality?

>>10659962

WHAT THE ASSGOBBLING CUNTLIPS WERE YOU TWO FUCKING RETARDS TRYING TO PULL? TELL ME NOW, AND I ONLY SMASH ONE MAJOR JOINT.

>>10659962

>Out of the corner of your eye, you see Samantha, Reginald's bitch-ass coward of a daughter, slinking away like a bitch.

No Commisar on EARTH would stand for that bullshit.

>>10660026
strategic ANGER

>>10659979
>>10659971
>>10659981

You pull out your las-pistol, point it at the other criminal, and pull the trigger. It makes a pale blue light, dazzles him a bit, then scorches some of his eyebrows.

Satisfied that the gun is working right, you turn it around and start beating his face in with the butt of the pistol, until the criminal finally screams, "WAIT WAIT WAIT, I'LL TAAAAAAAAALK!"

>>10660026
Stare at the other one, Just stare.
An unending stare of burning hate...

>>10660045
Give him another pistol-whip for good measure, then have him confess his guts out.

>>10660045

THEN YOU BETTER HURRY THE FUCK UP, NIGGERTITS, BEFORE I BREAK YOUR JAW.

>>10660045

>Satisfied that the gun is working right

DIDDLY

>>10660045
"WORTHLESS CUNTWAFFLE. DON'T FUCKING TELL ME YOU'LL TALK. OPEN YOUR WORTHLESS SHIT-EATING COCK-HOLE AND TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOW"

>>10660045
The young man wails and babbles incoherently, but from what you gather, the following is true: he is a ganger who was hired by some random stranger to rob this manor. He doesn't know anything about his employer except that he was told that he could have everything so long as he brought one thing back to the man in the shiny sunglasses.

"He wants this sphere! This glowy metal sphere thingy!" he wails. "He says that if we bring that back to him, we could keep anything else we can steal!"

>>10660075
Then call him Worm, and spit on him.

>>10660056

>just stare

>>10660093
He shall get NOTHING!

You LOSE!

GOOD DAY, SIR!

>>10660093
Give him a nice hard pistol whip as a reward and stomp the one who didn't talk in the face as a punishment for not talking first.

>>10660093

OH FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A POLEAXE, WE GET TO GO HUNTING!

>>10660093

TELL ME

DID HE HAVE A BEARD?

OR DID HE LOOK LIKE AN EMACIATED ASSHOLE?

>>10660098
"WORM!" you scream, and spit on him. "You are WORTHLESS! A FUCKING EMBARASSMENT TO THE SPECIES! THE BEST PART OF YOU DRIBBLED DOWN YOUR MAMA'S LEG WHEN YOUR PAPA FUCKED HER IN THE ASS!"

>>10660119
>>10660116
>>10660115

You kick the other fucker's teeth in for good measure. "I SHOULD FUCKING KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!" you scream. "BUT MAYBE I'LL LET YOU GO INSTEAD. MAYBE I'LL LET YOU GO AND BRING WORD BACK TO YOUR CUNTWAFFLE OF AN EMPLOYER THAT HE AIN'T GETTIN' SHIT!?"

>>10660093
Does Carmine know that the man in the glasses knew the Master was away, or was that bit of info left out?

If she does know, once again embracing the strategist angle, have her realize that this guy knew that the master was gone, knew about the sphere, yet still sent in two random goons whose chances of recovering the sphere were basically nil. Comment about this train of thought to Reg.

>>10660116
I like this. Let's do it. Include some boot-to-the-balls action, and I think we're golden.

>aqquire decent amount of C4 explosives and ball bearings

>put into machined metal sphere, along with microphones and a pinhole camera combined with long-distance transmitter.

>give to morons

>???

>BADDA-BOOM

>>10660155
Oh, I like this very much.

>>10660155
This!

>>10660155

Why ball bearings? You've already got a fuckhueg pile of shrapnel from the sphere itself.

>>10660155
this.
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!!

>>10660155
that is awesome, but have Reginald handle that.

>>10660155

And even if we don't go with the BADDA BOOM, (as perhaps a little too obvious troll is obvious,) we should still bug those motherfuckers six ways to Sunday before turning them loose.

Also, that sphere should be moved to THE VAULT.

>>10660170
can't have to much shrapnel

>>10660132

"FUCK YOU AND LAY STILL UNTIL I TELL YOU OTHERWISE!" you scream. Then, tugging Reginald's collar, you pull him away from the assholes laying on the ground. "Reginald," you say, in a soft tone of voice, "If these cunt-niggers are right, then the fucker who hired them knew the master was off fucking the little Blood Angel Wannabe bitch, knew about the sphere, but still hired a couple of fuckers to steal it anyway. Does that sound right to you?"

"That does. . . seem unusual," Reginald admits.

"Then let's do this. Let's make a huge fuck-off metal sphere, fill it with promethium, and set it to blow the fuck up when they give it to the guy who wants it."

". . . we'll have to make do with something else, but I think we can manage. Give me some time, and I'll see what I can do," Reginald says.

>>10660170

But ball bearings penetrate interior walls better.

>>10660210

IIRC, the sphere was around 4-6 feet in diameter. Which means we should be able to fit at LEAST 750+ lbs of C4, SEMTEX, or other high explosive in there. We're not gonna NEED to penetrate walls because there won't BE any.

Getting late, so we'll end soon.

You manage to construct your sphere of doom, keep the two fuckers busy, then give it to them, claiming that, "if you fuckers wanted it, you should have just fucking asked, we don't fucking want it anyway," and send the badly battered assholes on their way with your rigged up fake sphere.

As you head back into the house, you see Reginald sitting in front of the computer screen. "Well," he says. "They're walking down the road. . . okay, they're turning into the woods. . . oh hell."

As the two assholes enter the forest, they approach their employers, and hand over the silver sphere. "We, um. . . we found what you asked for," Cletus claims, through broken teeth.

"Excellent work, Earth Humans," says the employer. "You have done good work, for mere ape-men."

Pic related.

>>10660248
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

And with that, good fucking night.

We'll pick up some other night this week. I dunno. I'll come up with something. Fuck.

>>10660232

... Oh. Okay. That satisfies my desire for pointless wanton vengeance nicely. Though I suppose Reginald might make a smaller charge for purposes of not being too obvious. Perhaps evenly distributed around the interior, with sensors package in the middle.

Fill the casing with parts from a broken pinball machine to make it look convincingly complex on X-Ray scans.

>>10660191
"Too much shrapnel"?

I'm sorry, the words are english, but the way you've put them together makes no sense to me.

>>10660248
looks like we well be needing anti-aircraft/spacecraft guns

>>10660248

FUUUUUUUUUUUCKIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN XEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSS

Do we get to continue with Carmine quest, because I want to, she still needs some fleshing out?

>>10660232
That'd work if we cracked it open and got the hot chick out first. I was surprised that people wanted to outsource for a techmaid rather than use the homegrown alien one...

>>10660280
yup. We'll pick up with Carmine next time.

>>10660268
you must have missed the "can't" at the start of the sentence.

>>10660248
>>10660263

The night began with Lesbian Cuddling and ended with TROLLING ALIENS. AGAIN.

A solid session, sir. See you next time.

>>10660248
oh, sunglasses
I get it now

>>10660287

Can we buy a Tunguska SPAAG battery now? As well as the PPRU command vehicle?

>>10660248
TIME TO CALL X-COM!

>>10660290
I saw the can't, knew it meant that whatever you were mentioning was in the negative, but I still couldn't make heads nor tails of the rest.

>>10660287
Here's hoping we can still salvage Carmine. I think we made good strides.

>>10660285
Except we didn't hand off the real one, was just an empty metal shell filled with explosives.

>>10660297

our exchequer is rather limited, sir, we don't get the full inheritance until the end of the quest. However, MANPAD SAMs are not out of the question, I suppose.

By the way, this one was always my favorite. :)

>>10660313
it means that there is no such thing as too much shrapnel

>>10660325

Our personal spending money is different from money for the mansion upgraes/staff pay/etc. I'm pretty sure this counts as a mansion expense.

>>10660257

>>10660330

It's the eyes that really do it.

They really, really get the FUKKIN XEENOOOOOOS down pat, in that one.

>>10660337
I'm still seeing that phrase that I don't understand.

YES! ONE OF MY THREE DRAWFAGGING ATTEMPTS IS RELEVANT TO A THREAD I LIKE!

>>10660339

True, but there's still limits to that, as well. On the other hand, we flew out of Hell on a giant bat and Reginald certainly has... resources. I think a quad .50 mount is within our reach, perhaps some Bofors. With some automatic radar fire control, if we are REALLY lucky.

>>10660361
lots of shrapnel is good more is better.

>>10660384
That I understand.

we... we didn't use THE sphere, right?
also, more aliens = more loot

>>10660544
not yet, but there is a plan to have koyomi reprogram it then activate the sphere.

>>10660544
I don't think there'll be much loot coming from these aliens.

We're looking at a rather ... large explosion here.

>>10660580
salvage the wrecked ufo

>>10660580

PURGE THE XENOOOS SCUM

So let me get this straight- our Commisar just purged XENOS?

>>10660544

we handed them a fake sphere filled with high explosive.

>>10660595
I'm sensing a Mothership Zeta style side quest coming on guys.

>>10660672
x-com > mothership zeta
you know this is true
infact; x-com > the majority of things involving aliens
x-com maid?

>>10660688
Rookie maid, 10 bravery?

>>10660688
there was some talk about getting a chrysalid maid

>>10660706

<3

we should have koyomi convert Carmine's power armour into this.

>>10660758

It should also sparkle in the sun, Carmine being a half vampire and all that.