[Return]
Posting mode: Reply
Name
E-mail
Subject
Comment
File
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??


  • File : 1279179077.jpg-(201 KB, 396x558, 1262855899175.jpg)
    201 KB BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)03:31 No.11145534  
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/11125464/

    Last time you witness an assassination of a wealthy and corrupt merchant. But it was justified, as the man who did the killing was getting revenge for the rape and murder of his wife. You also got the man's purse. The assassination was also witnessed by a small old monk, who has made contact with you but hasn't confronted you about it.

    Picking up directly where we left off last night, Newt has just admitted to spending the night with a stable boy. Currently there is a stunned silence from your party, who were sitting around the table easting breakfast.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:35 No.11145600
    >>11145534
    We should high five Newt, She said she's never done anything like that before so I'm choosing to believe she's just popped her cherry.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:37 No.11145626
    >>11145600
    Wait... wut?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:40 No.11145656
    >>11145626
    She said he bought her a drink and she'd never done anything like that before. Also that it was nice.
    Like I said, high five her for losing her virginity. She's a wizard's apprentice, I doubt she gets out much.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:40 No.11145657
    >>11145534
    Congratulate her on getting laid. The high five might be a bit much though.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:40 No.11145665
    >>11145657
    But we're bros... erm... sises? What's the correct term for a female bro?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:42 No.11145689
    >>11145665

    Bro is the correct terminus, even for females.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:43 No.11145700
    >You also got the man's purse.

    And that was the moment the authorities knew they were dealing with a Player Character.
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)03:46 No.11145744
    >>11145600
    >>11145656
    >>11145657
    >>11145665
    You grin at Newt and give her a thumbs up, congratulating her. You saw some of the stable boys on the way in, most of them were kinda cute. Nothing compared to Ruby, but you understand Newt doesn't swing that way. Ruby smirks at the compliment and goes back to attacking her bacon.
    You also make a joke about newt no longer having to fear dragons, and everyone but Grue and Tabby laugh, Newt's state of blushing red remains unchanged. Tabby turns to Faral, "Why not? Dragons from the stories I've heard sound like mean, cunning brutes. I'd be afraid of anything that can shoot fire out of it's throat."
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:46 No.11145748
    Reassure Newt that we were just teasing, and congratulate her on getting some.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:50 No.11145798
    >>11145744
    >Ruby
    >attacking bacon
    I think I love her more now.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:53 No.11145823
    >>11145744
    Well... we are a bard. I suppose we need to explain the dragon bit to Grue and Tabby.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:56 No.11145855
    >>11145744
    "Tabby, what does a dragon look like? It's a scaly creature with a long 'neck'. What do dragons do? They spit hot 'fire' from their 'mouths'."
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:56 No.11145858
    >>11145823
    Don't explain the joke. Never explain the joke.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)03:56 No.11145869
    >>11145823
    >>11145858
    Can you explain it to ME?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:02 No.11145935
    >>11145869
    NO.
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)04:02 No.11145940
    >>11145869
    Old Legend. Dragons would eat/kidnap virgin women only.
    >>11145823
    >>11145855
    >>11145858
    >>11145748
    You glance sideways at Tabby, you'll have to explain it later. You congratulate Newt once again, then are reminded of the existence of her snake familiar by it's sudden appearance in front of you. The snake rises and unfurls a hood, swaying gently. It turns and hisses something at Newt, who hisses something back. She goes from red to mad and scoops the snake up, putting it in her hat. "Stupid Steve, Why couldn't I have gotten a cat familiar instead? I like cats! But No, I had to summon up a damn viper! I don't even like lizards."
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:05 No.11146000
    >>11145940
    Look at Newt and say with a completely straight face "I thought he was charming."
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:06 No.11146006
    >>11145940
    I don't know, Steve seems like a pretty cool familiar to me. Besides, who wants to clean up after a cat? We could probably even work Steve into the show as a snake charming routine.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:07 No.11146024
    >>11146000
    That... was an awful pun.
    We have to do this now.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:07 No.11146029
    >>11146024
    I was aiming for "So bad it's good". Sounds like I hit the mark.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:08 No.11146039
    >>11146000
    That... that was painfully bad.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:08 No.11146048
    >>11146039

    Which is exactly why we should do it!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:10 No.11146063
    >>11146000

    I think as a bard we're obligated to make one cheesy pun a month, so why not let it be this.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:13 No.11146104
    >>11146063
    Just because you have to doesn't mean you can't enjoy it.
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)04:14 No.11146116
    >>11146000
    >>11146006
    >>11146024
    >>11146029
    >>11146039
    >>11146048
    You look Newt right in the eye and tell her you thought he was charming. After a few seconds of nothing, you hear Tanot groaning from the end of the table. "Did... oh please tell me that was my hangover making me hear things. Did you REALLY just make that pun?" Tanot lowers his head to the table and just lays there.
    Speaking of Tanot, he's the only one in the party with a flute. You propose to Newt that you incorporate Steve into the show as part of a snake charming act. "I don't know... Steve generally tries to muck up anything he can. I mean last night he..." Newt goes beet red again and stops talking.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:17 No.11146163
    >>11146116
    "TELL US!!!!!" and nudge her leg under the table with our boot.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:17 No.11146167
    >>11146163
    What is this, a locker room?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:18 No.11146180
    >>11146116
    Spill it, we promise not to laugh if you do. Well at least we won't laugh too hard.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:23 No.11146244
    >>11146116
    "If you tell me, I'll tell you where Ruby's secret ticklish spot is."
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)04:26 No.11146301
    >>11146163
    >>11146167
    >>11146180
    >>11146244
    Nudging her with your boot and pleading with her, promising not too laugh too much, you eventually goad Newt into telling you. You even promise to tell her where Ruby is ticklish. "You wouldn't DARE! You tell them that and I'LL tell them about your tattoo!" You quickly take back your promise about the ticklish spot.
    "With all these people around I couldn't I... oh fine. You'll never stop pestering me if I don't tell you. Last night as things were getting... intimate, Steve slithered out from my pack and nipped Mark on the bottom. I had to pretend it was me. It made things... awkward for a time. And as if that wasn't enough Steve kept trying to do it! And when he crawled up onto the headboard I had to try and block him from Mark. I don't know about you, but a viper flaring up while I was in the middle of... what we where doing would scare me half to death."
    Grue leans down to Zanne. "Why would wizard lady try to hide snake?"
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:29 No.11146352
    >>11146301
    Oh she was hiding a snake alright! Heheh... wait...
    What was she doing that would put her head close enough to Mark's bottom to convince him it was her who bit him?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:30 No.11146370
    >>11146301
    Alright, well my curiosity is sated. Let's go look outside and check the weather and then see if we can find the old monk. Maybe even ask Tabby who she was with last night while we do those.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:31 No.11146380
    >>11146352
    This! She must explain HOW she convinced him it was her and not a snake. Also, aren't they poisonous? OH GOD! HER FIRST TIME LOVER IS DEAD!!!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:32 No.11146402
    >>11146380
    An Intelligent snake, like a familiar, could probably choose not to inject.
    AAAAWE! Steve DOES like her!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:33 No.11146415
    >>11146301
    GruexZanne OTP
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:35 No.11146441
    >>11146415
    Ones an abused Gypsy dancer with a security goat, and the other is an 8 foot tall Half-Ogre with the mind of a kid.
    ... THEY FIGHT CRIME!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:36 No.11146470
    So where exactly is our sweet as tattoo? Is on our sweet ass? What exactly is it, two eighth notes?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:39 No.11146514
    >>11146470
    I also would like to know this.
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)04:44 No.11146598
    >>11146470
    >>11146514
    Just because I like you guys so much, it's a white rabbit on Janice's upper thigh, near were the leg connects to the pelvis. She was drunk and 17.
    >>11146352
    >>11146380
    >>11146370
    A cavalcade of crude jokes stampedes in your mind, it's hard to pick just one! Wait... you ask how she was able to make him think a snakebite was a love bite, and what she was doing with her head that close to his- "I'm going back to my room now!" Newt drains the last of her coffee in one long gulp and, face red, quietly but swiftly moved up the stairs. You notice a young man detach himself from the wall and follow her up. You recognize him as the one you had to convince last night to let Zanne take Gregor into the Inn proper, Mark would be your guess.
    Judging from the tap tapping on the roof, and the occasional boom of thunder, the storm hasn't lifted yet. Luckily you paid for the rooms for another night. Glancing around the room you still don't see the Monk anywhere. How could someone wearing orange disappear into a crowd? However, you DO see Te'kal, the minotaur who was interested in Tabby, heading your way.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:46 No.11146630
    >>11146598
    "Psst. Tabby. Let him down easy. I talked to him last night and gave him some tips, I don't want him to think they're useless."
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:47 No.11146650
    >>11146630
    h yeah, because Tabby will LOVE that we tried to set her up with a monster class.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:51 No.11146706
    >>11146598
    White rabbit... if that symbolism, or just being drunk?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:52 No.11146736
    >>11146650
    we didn't try to set them up, we just gave him some advice that wasn't "Beat her up and make her marry you."
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:53 No.11146745
    >>11146736
    well he didn't beat her up, just beat her in an arm wrestling competition.
    But no, she needs to let him down easy.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:55 No.11146770
    >>11146745
    "Show your superiority then ask for marriage" comes uncomfortably close to "Beat her up and make her marry you".
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:55 No.11146773
    >>11146598
    This, but don't mention the advice. Just say that he had talked with us, and that it was clear that he had it pretty bad for her.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)04:56 No.11146780
    >>11146773
    I mean to refer to this >>11146630
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)05:01 No.11146847
    >>11146630
    >>11146736
    >>11146745
    >>11146773
    You duck down and give Tabby a heads up. The minotaur talked to you last night and he seems to like her. She sighs heavily and looks over to Grue. "Grue, I may need your help if things get ugly." Ta'kal walks up to Tabby. "Listen buddy I told you last night" "My actions were out of order. I apologize to you for my forwardness. I was... captivated by your strength. In my culture we value strength more then almost anything. But I have not come to you today to discuss such things. I would, however, like my winnings. I believe winner takes the pot were the wages?" Tabby seems surprised and quietly hands over the money. Ta'kal turns to Grue next. "I believe we had an altercation on the road not too long ago. While I will not apologize for defending myself, I understand you have recently had a career change. I wish you no ill will. I bid you all a good day." He turns and heads back to the fire he was sitting at. He sits down and, a bit purposefully to it seems to you, turns his back to the party. Ruby is the first to speak. "What was THAT about?"
    "... What does Al-ter-ca-shun mean?"
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:01 No.11146850
    We still don't know who was snoring in Tabby's room.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:04 No.11146892
    >>11146847
    We had a talk a while ago, I think it got through to him.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:05 No.11146898
    >>11146850
    The snoring was Mark, and it was coming from Newt's room, not Tabby's.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:06 No.11146916
    >>11146850
    FFFUCK. Bring it up!

    "I have no idea. But I just remembered that there was snoring in Tabby's room this morning too." waggle eyebrows.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:08 No.11146940
    >>11146898
    I recall there being snoring coming from both rooms, but let me check the archives.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:08 No.11146943
    >>11146916
    No, the snoring was from Newt's room.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:09 No.11146951
    >>11146916
    >>11146850
    Yeah, I just re-read it. Faral said Tabby didn't snore, but we heard snoring coming from Newt's room.
    Speaking of which, I say we follow Mark up and give Newt advice!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:09 No.11146956
    >>11146940
    Tabby's door was locked, that's all. The snoring was from Newt's room.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:10 No.11146971
    >>11146951
    > Speaking of which, I say we follow Mark up and give Newt advice!

    No. Bad Janice. None of that. We've teased her about that enough for one day.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:11 No.11146980
    >>11146971
    Alright then, I say we give MARK advice. We're MUCH more experienced at pleasing women!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:12 No.11146990
    Ok... so the only party members ot get laid since we met them are Us and Ruby, Tanot (although this was with a hooker) and now Newt.
    We need to get the rest of the party some!
    Also, plan for the show tonight. The Innkeeper said it would be packed.
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)05:19 No.11147070
    >>11146892
    >>11146990
    You're tempted to follow the boy up and tease Newt some more, but Ruby places a hand on your shoulder. "No. You've given the poor girl enough hell. Besides, you where right, the stable boy was kinda cute." She gives you another smirk and leans back. "But I think I prefer your butt."
    You hear Faral snort. "Humans, always thinking with your sexual organs. I'm glad that my kind can at least keep it in their pants." Faral pauses and turns to Tanot. "Well... at least most of us can. It must be your human blood." Tanot shrugs, "If we weren't family I'd-"
    "Grue confused! What is everyone talking about? Grue get scolded when Grue not have pants on!"
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:24 No.11147160
    >>11147070
    That's right Grue. Always keep your pants on unless you're bathing.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:25 No.11147177
    >>11147160
    THISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHIS.

    Also, "When you meet the right woman, she won't scold you for having your pants off."
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)05:32 No.11147273
    >>11147160
    >>11147177
    You calmly tell Grue that it's a good idea to keep a pair of pants on unless cleaning himself up, which he should only do by himself or a responsible adult. But maybe someday, when he finds the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, it will be alright not to wear pants. Grue's brow furrows. "Would Zanne lady-"
    "Right, that's enough of that." Faral sets her bowl of porridge down, "This conversation is going places that I can't cope with sober. I suggest changing course, or at least allowing me to finish my breakfast."
    Ruby stares into space thoughtfully, then cringes a little, while Zanne has gone quite. Hiding behind her long hair, she looks down at the table.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:33 No.11147295
    >>11147273
    "Zanne? You okay?"
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:34 No.11147302
    >>11147273
    HAHA! GRUE ZANNE REALLY IS OTP!
    Although... I have no idea how the sex would work.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:34 No.11147307
    >>11147302
    WHO CARES?!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:35 No.11147326
    >>11147273
    Let's try to shift to talking about Vimestead. Does anyone have any contacts there or people we can hit up for some start up cash? Maybe they have some friends with talent we can pick up or a good tailor we can buy tents and costumes from.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:37 No.11147344
    >>11147307
    I kinda do. I mean, Grue stands about 8 feet tall. If he's proportional at all... He'd tear poor Zanne in half!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:41 No.11147371
    >>11147344
    They don't have to have sex, you know.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:41 No.11147379
    >>11147295
    This. We must know if she's blushing or horrified. What if she's having some kind of flashback?
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)05:44 No.11147402
    >>11147295
    >>11147326
    >>11147379
    You ask Zanne is shes alright. "I... I am fine Janice. Excuse me, I must feed Gregor." She quietly stands up and walks quickly up the stairs.
    Which leaves you, Ruby, Faral, Tabby, Grue and Tanot. You're about to ask if anyone has contacts in Vimestead, but stop yourself. You've never been, Tabby and Ruby have only just left their home towns, Faral has been traveling to get there, and Tanot has been in Colinswealth for at least the last decade.
    Which is why it surprises you when both Tanot and Faral nod. Tanot goes first. "A lot of the goods I smuggled in Colinswealth came from Vimestead. I've met a man from there a few times, and he might be able to help us. Of course, he's going to be a criminal."
    Faral sips her tea before continuing. "Before sending the Bards, my people sent an advanced party to determine if Human lands were safe. We have a small... what is the human word for it... embassy. We have a small Embassy in Vimestead. We also have one in the Capital City, but Vimestead was closer."
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:48 No.11147445
    >>11147402
    Somehow the idea of getting funding from criminals doesn't appeal to me, Faral's embassy on the other hand seems like a good place to try. Anyway let's get a move on and try to find that monk.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:49 No.11147451
    >>11147402
    >"I... I am fine Janice. Excuse me, I must feed Gregor."
    Now I'm really worried. We should follow. Seriously.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:50 No.11147460
    >>11147445
    Why not? We saw a man killed and did not alert the authorities. The man;s killer is standing above up int he rooms.
    Hell, Tanot admitted to us that his wagon has a secret compartment in it right now, and that we'd never be able to find it.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:50 No.11147462
    Excuse ourself and follow Zanne. She can't be okay.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:52 No.11147477
    >>11147460
    Consorting with criminals is one thing, borrowing money from them is another.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:52 No.11147479
    >>11147477
    Agreed. I like my kneecaps.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:52 No.11147481
    >>11147477
    I would think the consorting would be worse!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)05:53 No.11147484
    >>11147402
    Did we see Zanne's face? How did she look?
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)05:58 No.11147528
    >>11147451
    >>11147484
    >>11147462
    >>11147445
    >>11147477
    >>11147479
    Traveling with criminals is bad enough, and you've heard too many stories about loan sharks to deal with them. Besides, you think your knees are kind of cute. it would be a shame to get them beaten up.
    You're worried about Zanne. You don't know what happened to her int he past, but you've had some pretty unpleasant ideas. You excuse yourself and head up the stairs. You knock softly on her door. "Please come in. I know it is you Janice." You step in and close the door behind you. You ask if she's ok. "Yes Janice, I am. I would say that I am... embarrassed more then anything. Sometimes it is hard to remember that Grue is so... childlike. I know he did not mean anything by it." She laughs softly. "I am flattered, to be honest. Not many men would want someone like me for more then a night. Then again, I doubt Grue understands."
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:01 No.11147566
    >>11147528
    We should subtly encourage this pairing.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:04 No.11147596
    >>11147566
    That's pretty much what everyone's been saying.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:06 No.11147617
    >>11147528

    Poor girl, tell her any man in his right mind should jump at the chance to be with her. Tell her not to worry, she'll find someone for her (or we'll covertly find someone for her) that's not Grue.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:07 No.11147627
    >>11147528
    "He really does like you, and he's a big sweetheart. He needs to bathe more regularly, of course. I'll speak frankly. If you were to consider him like that, I wouldn't think you were strange or disgusting." Pat her arm and head back down to the group.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:08 No.11147631
    >>11147617
    And what's wrong with Grue?
    Big, strong, dependable. Yeah he needs to be reminded not to scratch himself in public sometimes, but hes a good guy!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:08 No.11147636
    >>11147566
    >>11147596
    Really? Grue? I don't think that will work out in the long run or be very emotional satisfying for Zanne.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:08 No.11147639
    >>11147631
    To hear a woman tell it, all guys need to be reminded not to scratch in public, so.... yeah.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:10 No.11147657
    >>11147631
    He plays with cow skull puppets.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:10 No.11147659
    >>11147636
    However it IS adorable. If nothing else Grue could be like family to her, of not romantically.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:11 No.11147663
    >>11147657
    Well, what else does he have? It's not like we've gotten him any toys or anything!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:12 No.11147670
    >>11147657
    Yeah? I would too. Skulls are pretty sweet. Anyway, it doesn't need to be romantic.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:17 No.11147734
    Really, any relationship they have is going to be more surrogate mother-and-son than romantic. Grue's a big kid.
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)06:17 No.11147735
    >>11147617
    >>11147627
    >>11147636
    >>11147659
    You give Zanne a sisterly hug. You tell her that she's the catch of a lifetime, and, as someone who fancies other girls, you'd know. Then you start pointing out all her fantastic qualities, shes a great cook, a wonderful dancer, and you've never seen a more caring person in all your travels. Now, Grue may not be perfect, and a little smelly, but you don't think Grue is trying to get in her pants. He probably wouldn't know what to do with a naked woman if she gave him step by step directions. So don't think of him like that. Think of him like a big, stinky little brother.
    Zanne smiles. "So like all little brothers then? Thank you Janice. Sometimes you can be a little crude, but you are very good at cheering people up. Ruby is lucky to have someone like you in her life. Not that I... Well it is a good think I am so flexible, it is easy to put my foot in my mouth."
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:18 No.11147742
    >>11147734
    Well, the path to any man;s heart is through his stomach. And if that's the case, Zanne has him hook, line, and sinker.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:21 No.11147759
    >>11147735
    Is... Is she hitting on us?

    Anyway, now that this is dealt with, all the talk of Grue's stink has brought up an idea. It is raining outside, yes? I say we bring up the subject of taking Grue out into the rain and scrubbing him down. If Newt's not 'busy' her magic would be a HUGE help here.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:22 No.11147782
    >>11147759
    I don't know if rainwater would help. Have you ever smelled wet dog? Now imagine wet Grue?
    We'll need soap and hot water for this. See if a water trough is free.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:23 No.11147793
    >>11147759
    I don't think so. Although... no! No bad thoughts!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:23 No.11147794
    >>11147735

    It seems pretty obvious we could rig this up to try for something with Zanne or even suggest a threesome.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:24 No.11147801
    >>11147794
    No, bad. We're going to be faithful.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:26 No.11147825
    >>11147801
    I didn't say we should do it, only that the option is presenting itself. Anyway, go ahead and arrange Grue a bath and wander maybe head to the bar for a drink to pass the time.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:29 No.11147864
    >>11147825
    We're probably going to need a drink or two to handle scrubbing down a half ogre that's NEVER bathed before. I got it. If he gets beligerant about bathing we'll make up a story about a hideous monster that loves to eat smell half ogres.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:31 No.11147892
    >>11147864
    >beligerant
    I should have just said stubborn.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:34 No.11147921
    >>11147892
    As long as we're correcting that post you also forgot the y in smelly.
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)06:35 No.11147929
    >>11147759
    >>11147782
    >>11147793
    >>11147794
    >>11147801
    >>11147825
    >>11147864
    Privately you let your thoughts wander into the red light district of your mind. Zanne is right, she's VERY flexible and... no, enough of that. Ruby would probably track you down and murder you.
    All this talk of Grue has made you think it's bath time. You leave Zanne to her own thoughts, giving her one more non sexual hug. You stop to see if Newt can help in your bathing endeavor, but the sounds coming from in there lead you to believe that is the last thing she wants right now. Every fiber of your being wants you to shout out encouragement, but in an incredible display of self control, you resist.
    Heading back to the party, you look Grue up and down. Even with Tabby's help he's too big to hold down... You need a drink first. After several pints, Grue doesn't look so tough! Heading back to the table you point right at him. You loudly proclaim that he smells funny, and you want to fix this. Remember how he needed to keep his pants on expect with a responsible adult? Well hows leading a band of performers for responsible? Time to wash up outside Grue, you bet a bath! You know... You;re kinda a light weight when it comes to booze.
    Grue's eyes narrow. "Grue have bath once. Grue get soap in eyes. And rain cold!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:37 No.11147951
    >>11147929
    TELL THE TALE OF THE HIDEOUS BEAST THAT LIKES TO EAT SMELLY HALF OGRES!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:39 No.11147972
    >>11147929
    We'll make sure the soap stays out of your eyes. If the rain gets too cold we'll heat some water up in a cauldron or something and just use a big wet rag to scrub him down.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:39 No.11147979
    >>11147951
    >>11147929
    And see if Ta'kal can help. He's big enough!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:46 No.11148059
    It should be about evening by now, hopefully the rain will let up tomorrow so we can get on the road again.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:48 No.11148073
    >>11147929
    >Grue have bath once. Grue get soap in eyes. And rain cold!
    >once
    ONCE?! That fucker's going in the tub! Right now!
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)06:49 No.11148085
    >>11147951
    >>11147972
    >>11147979
    You shake your head. This wont do a tall. I mean, it would be TERRIBLE of the Nucklavee came! "What... Nucklevee?" The NUCKLAVEE is great an terrible monster that comes after children who don't takes baths, and Half-ogres. You need to remember who your talking too. "Grue just smack." Oh no, that would just make it angry! it stands two... no THREE stories tall, and has jaws big enough to swallow Grue up in one gulp. Grue's grip on his club tightens. "Janice song-lady wouldn't let Grue get eateded, would she?" Of course not! But there won't be anything you can do if Grue doesn't clean himself up. After all, the Nucklavee is blind, it tracks naughty children, and half-ogres, by sent. Grue looks around at the party, who solemnly nod their heads. "Ok... Grue take bath. But Grue no want cold water! Rain cold!" Alright, it's up to you to find a bath big enough for Grue.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:51 No.11148095
    >>11148085
    Ask the Innkeeper. And we'll probably need to do this in the stables.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:52 No.11148107
    >>11148085
    Ask for the biggest pot they have, fill it with water, and start a fire under it.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:52 No.11148110
    >>11148085
    "INNKEEPER! I NEED YOUR LARGEST.... uhm... THING! That.. uhm.. holds warm water! And such!!"

    We are slightly drunk, after all.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:54 No.11148124
    >>11148095
    >>11148107
    >>11148110
    They don't have a big enough bed for him, why would they have a bath?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:56 No.11148141
    >>11148124
    We're not asking for a conventional tub, but more like a big ass cooking pot. They should have at least a couple large ones we can use to heat water in or fit part of grue into.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)06:56 No.11148146
    >>11148124
    We don't need a bathtub, just a tub. Maybe they have a huge laundry tub or something?
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)07:05 No.11148208
    >>11148095
    >>11148107
    >>11148110
    >>11148124
    >>11148141
    >>11148146
    Right, you'll keep your end of this bargain. You swagger up to the Innkeeper, for some reason Ruby looks embarrassed, you'll have to ask later. You call to him from across the... bar. You proclaim that Grue needs his pants off... no, no he needs to take a bath with his pants off. Alright, you have a few more then a few pints, whatever. Huh, Ruby looks even more embarrassed. Anyway, you're big stinky friend needs a bath, and you need something to hold the hot water.
    "Well, I'm afraid I can't help you there. We don't have any bath big enough for... wait... HEY MAUD! MAUD! Where did we put that big tub? The one we used for laundry that one time!" "It's in the storage shed!" "It's in the storage shed. I have to ask that, for the decency of the other patrons, you do this in the stables. That's where the door to the shed is anyway. I'll have someone let you in... where's that Mark? Carl! Carl come over here, let these folks get the big tub from the shed."
    Carl lets you all into the stables and shows you the storage shed. Inside is what you'd expect to find, tools and bags and, sitting on the roof beams, a big tub. It's only about two feet deep, but it's about eight feet wide. "The master of the house doesn't throw away anything that might be useful. I mean, we haven't even USED this thing in years! You'll need to clean it out before you clean your friend up."
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)07:07 No.11148216
    >>11148208
    Excellent! We'll need to ask Ruby what was wrong later, right now we need to heat up water! But make sure it isn't TOO hot.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)07:09 No.11148238
    >>11148208
    "bring me all the hot water you can. I have an ogre to strip... wait... Carl was it? Stand still... stop wobbling around so much."
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)07:10 No.11148244
    >>11148208
    Order up some hot water, maybe get the scullery maids to fill the tub. Get several bars of soap and get Grue in there. Probably have him sit down soap him up and pour water over him.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)07:13 No.11148263
    >>11148216
    She's probably embarrassed at how drunk we are. Tiny female bards aren't meant to drink that much alcohol.
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)07:19 No.11148301
    >>11148216
    >>11148238
    >>11148244
    Right, hot water is the most important part of a hot water bath! Carl shows you a pump, normally used to pump water for the horse trough, and indicates some firewood nearby. Getting Tanot, who is somehow less drunk then you, to start a small fire, you begin to heat the bathwater.
    Alright Grue, time to strip down and get in the tub! Down to your underwear and no complaining. "Underwear? Why Grue wear stuff under clothes? Skin under clothes." Grue strips and gets into the tub. There is a blindly flash of white as your brain kicks into survival mode and tries to block out what you just saw. Faral looks slightly scared, and Tanot is bent over laughing. Ruby just lets out a low whistle and turns away. Tabby doesn't seem to care though, and already has her sleeves and pants rolled up. Shes int he tub scrubbing Grue's back with a horse brush. "It's like cleaning up livestock for the market."
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)07:21 No.11148313
    Zanne must now wander in accidently, and catch sight of Grue-in-a-tub.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)07:27 No.11148349
    >>11148301
    Give Ruby's butt a nice pinch, since it's turned this way, then grab Tanot and Faral and pull them into the tub with us. Time to start scrubbin'.
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)07:28 No.11148352
    >>11148301
    The water in the tub quickly becomes too soapy and murky to see through, and for that you are relieved. Getting a long handled mop, you start to help Tabby out with Grue's huge back. Tanot, the idiot, is still laughing, and Faral is staying away from the tub. After a brief moment of hesitation, Ruby begins sloshing water onto Grue. You take special care not to get any soap in his eyes as you was his head, telling him to close them while you rinse. By putting your elbows into it, and cutting loose quite a few clumps of hair, you start making headway.
    It takes you the better part of an hour, and three tub refills, but you finally get Grue clean. There's a stain around the rim of the tub though that you can't get out, and you feel like a bath yourself. Now that you have some warning, you set aside several clean horse blankets for Grue to use for drying off. Everyone turns around as Grue exits the tub.
    Which, in accordance to the cosmic laws of narrative, happens to be the EXACT moment that Newt come into the stables, followed by Zanne. "The Innkeeper said you were in here and... oh my..." Zanne quickly turns around, but Newt seems frozen, face turning deep red again. "Grue clean now! Hair soft and silky!"
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)07:30 No.11148366
    >>11148352
    Oh no, she;s gone into shock. Throw a blanket over her head until it's all over!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)07:32 No.11148382
    >>11148352
    In the words of the Zohan we've made Grue silky smooth, and we've managed to mess with Newt and Zanne at the same time. Anyway, tell Grue to cover himself with the blankets and we'll go wash his clothes for him while he dries off.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)07:34 No.11148389
    >>11148301
    >>11148352
    Blinding white light...
    People, I think Grue might be a god given flesh! Or his johnson is anyway.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)07:36 No.11148399
    >>11148389
    Wow, I can't believe it took you so long to figure it out.
    >> BARD QUEST 07/15/10(Thu)07:38 No.11148404
    Ok, its 5:30 an I need sleep now.
    I'll skip ahead a bit when I pick up again. Skip to the evening's performance. Probably won't have a thread tonight, but most likely the night after.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)07:38 No.11148411
    >>11148404
    Cool, see ya tomorrow.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/10(Thu)07:40 No.11148421
    >>11148404
    wow, this quest thread has done hell to any sleep schedule you might have had.



    [Return]
    Delete Post [File Only]
    Password
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]