I THOUGHT I MISSED THIS! FUCK YEAH!

I've got nothing.

Uh...Team Rocket?

To the beat of :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp3y2f7_Hfk

Uh
Uh yea
Yea uh uh yea che - che -check it.

What more can I say, I wouldn't be here today if the old school didn't change my way.(x4)

I've been roaming around,
Lookin down,
At all these playas
These fools,
these rules and tools.

What more can I say, I wouldn't be here today if the old school didn't change my way.(x4)

Gary gygax, rollin deep,
God rest him, in his eternal sleep,
Craps, blackjack, balut and c-low, none of these games catch my flow.
I've been rollin since I was in diapers,
I'm so vicious they call me Viper.

you can't just use words that end with -ution, thats not how rap works.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got nothing to say
And nothing to do.

I gotta confess, my rhymes are a mess
I can't figure out how to roll on the dole and keep it droll
without muckin' it up like I'z muckin' about
Just makin' a mess and gettin' thrown out
Lotsa peeps are rappin' better'n me
because I still haven't figured out a word that rhymes with orange

>>11495938
Now I'm new to the game so you must excuse me
Any other board they might try to defuse me
Prepare to be enlightened, a little frightened
But most of all excited cause i'm about to blow your minds and
Here's the deal, ya'll better listen
I'm here cause I'm on a mission
Using hands of steel and rhymes unreal I'm here to reveal
The truth, my friends, you'll never be the same

Sword and Board ain't all alone in the game

>>11496055
(Chorus)

Dwarves, elves, golbins and orcs.
Sure, they may have called me a dork,
But hell if I care, I'm not asking them to my lair.
The old school, TSR
Been playing before I ever bought my first car.
Who cares if they think it's bizzare,
atleast I thinkI'm a star.

(chorus)

This ones to the old school,
We were the cool kids,
Rolling, and roleing, we knew were it was at.
They used to call us nerds, imagine that.
Stuffed into lockers, whatta shocker.

(chorus)

Peace.

Aw yeah check out tha mighty OP.

Aw snap
Sword n board
we needsta incrust ya sword
with gems and shit
as a reward
for entertainin the board
You... I adore.

But I'm cuttin' dis suckup
Get ready to get fucked up

Rhyme time.

Get it goin, spin that shit up.

Scrollin' through the board got me all in a drag,
all haters gonna hate cuz OP is a fag,
and behind my flag, y'all can rally,
before I stomp the yard like a falling pally,
and all those who oppose me end up as a tally,
notched on my shield, never to reach the finale,

...and as I walk through the valley,
of the shadow of death,
My sword and shield comfort me,
indestructable like Elspeth,
spittin' dragon breath, with ice in the veins,
cold like Abel gettin' murdered by Cain,
I'm insane with the lyrical, every hit is a critical,
My style should be biblical, with so many ranks in perform,
because I take the word of god and give it physical form.

They say Wu-tang Clan ain't nothin' to fuck with
But they aint got shit on the shaolin funk fist
Blow after blow, diss after diss
Ya got shit in the back, front soaked in piss
microphone nunchuks swingin around
rhyme and skill putting you on the ground
Smack goes the blows
matching my stylin sound
I'm the baddest motherfucking monk around
Punch after punch, blow after blow
Every single strike matches with my flow
uppercut to the head
Rock em sock em warforged
Neck cracks
Now ya dead

Where the hell is DJ Phylactery?

Captcha: Had cabins.

Obviously he gave birth to a cabin and is still in the hospital. I wish you the best.

Rollin up in a dungeon.
got the BBEG's panties bunchin.
skirmisher,elite, brute?
they ain't got nothin on me
for all i see is easy X P
got my theif popin traps like they were dc 10
stickn' it to our rail roadn' DM.
white knight? i'd rather fight!
Personal trainer by day battle cleric by night.

I remember that man, I remember him well
He took a wrong step then helped my belly to swell

Ya swallowed him up while he was crying, "oh lord!"
Added his bones to the pile like adding gold to my hoard
Now it's time to record a new page in modern history
Def Blue's got new rhymes so hot they'll have you blistering
So listen kids, best step back while I'm spittin' this cause I'll be hittin' these rhythms so hard they'll make your ears cave in

It's time to step up to the alter of rhyme and originality
To see who's king of the mountain and who's just pretendin' to be
Who really brings heat
Whose rhymes are just weak
Who's slangin' verbal diamond and who's just a summer freak

This is a challenge to all, step up and test your gall
The Dragon's down to rumble, it's Blue against all

Off the topic
off the chain
Stylin sound that shocks ya brain
+1 mic, Thundering chants
Come on son, throw on ya sonic resistance
I'll overcome that with my lyrical persistence

Rollin like a duke
With my gold in my bag
Bitches cheerin "FUNK"
While I stroll with my swag

Sell the armor
Sell the spears
Gold to the commoners
Hear the cheers
Wisdom bonus to my Ac score
Fuck equipment
Cash to the poor

This would almost make LARP bearable. It'd be like a sudden rap-off, only everyone would be dressed in armor.

Shit that'd be funny.

This a callout to the punk druids

Save the forests
save the trees
Save the muskrats
Save the bees
Runnin 'round town with a bear in tow
Pettin all the plants, makin em grow
Hatin on my chains
Cuz ya can't wear em

Woodshape some grills
So you can get some bitches
But we all know
That bears up in ya britches

(this thread better not die)

Oh almighty Sword n' Board
Leader of /tg/'s rappin horde
...This shit forsaken?
You be flakin'?
My time be wastin'?

>>11496295
Aw hell yeah, Def Blue Blood in the house

I ride out to meet ya', I don't know the meaning of loss,
You roll like a dragon? I roll LIKE A BOSS.
If you toss the challenge, I'll return the favor,
because the progenitor of rap ain't a meal to savor,
I gotta be braver, I'll walk into the city of portals,
because when you killed that man, you made him immortal,
And now you got less chance than a guardsman makin' corporal,
and when I close the gap, snicker-snack goes my vorpal.

I've got no qualms nigga, I'll go the distance,
spittin flow so solid it overcomes damage resistance,
Lyrical bullets flying to end your existence,
so persistence is futile, against style so bold,
And while you're sittin idle, hoarding your gold,
I'll be honing my skills, your status: told.

>>11496699
Fuck no nigga, we rap till we're spent
I'm on a mission, hell-bent,
committed one-hundred percent,
to invent rhymes without peer,
in a furious charge, unknown to fear,
and the world will hear me, in glorious rapture,
It's time for hard mode, I'll start rhyming captchas

Unfortunately I must go to bed right now, will contribute in the mornings

>rhyming captchas
IT'S THE FUTURE OF /TG/ RAP

MY BODY IS READY

I can't rap,
Cause I'm white
If you look around, You will know I'm right
Uh yeah, Uh uh, uh yeah

>>11496793
Shit son

My apologies for doubtin
I guess I was poutin'
At the length posters waitin
Like a speedin' ooze
Slow n easy takin'

This here’s a shout-out to my paladins

Yeah you was lawful good, rollin’ straight from the hood
dropping dragons drinkin’ flagons just like a knight should
when presented with moral choices don’t listen to the voices
just follow the code and stay on the righteous road

Swingin’ your holy avenger, on a smite and cleave bender
ain’t gotta put up with disrespect just pally slash em’ back!
layin’ on hands like the legend of Bagger Vance
tell the wenches you’ve got a +5 sword in yo’ pants

Ridin’ on your steed doin’ mighty deeds
just remember to purchase some feed
celestial charger livin’ life larger
smitan’ evil all day yeah that’s the paladin way

>>11496709
The vorpal trick is played out, had a whole stack from punks I've laid out
Took 'em all down to the market and I made out when I paid out! CHU-CHING!

Adventurers are just dollar signs and don't ya know their all mine
So comin' at me's all fine, but don't be surprised when you have to wait in line
There's a queue to take on Tiamat's titan
And most these punks around ain't even worth fightin'
But the thought of takin' on Board's enticing
So make yourself ready to step up and face the lightning

Don't worry about my DR, nobodies ever got that far
I set the bar up to the stars and made my AC so high you'll need a telescope to see that far.
I got mad respect, your a foe that dished out those critical hits
But in this games I'm like MC Hammer: to divine to touch this.

I come from the land of Rokugan
To stand for the honor of the Sparrow Clan
This Sparrow's beats are hot and fly,
y'all are stuck on the ground while I rise into the sky!

/tg/ ain't ready for this master of MTG,
just dropped an un-kicked scuta and i smacked you for three.
after the game i stole your cards and i pawned them on craigslist,
to fund a jucy set of tarmogoyf's for my pimpin' new decklist.
nine hundred dollar playset of dual-lands ain't shit,
flashed your bitch my black lotus, and she was begging for my dick.
so don't step to me you played out planeswalker,
i took a shit that looked like you, fuck, you look like a fen stalker.
you've got it in your head that you can cheat fate,
but when i'm slingin' my back deck, son, you will get raped!
mate, i like to call you my boreal druid,
because i tap your ass for mana like there ain't nothing to it.
seriously man you can't compete, you're nothing but a poo-fleck,
better get your ass to MTG salvation for a competitive netdeck.

When I'm through, my foes look like spaghetti;
they met the business end of my Research Machete,
A weapon without peer, it ain't no understudy,
analyzes your attack, and turns you bloody.

It ain't got no right angles, all its series is Fourier,
It was even given the edge in Deadliest Warrior,
Between man and machete, I'll form an alliance,
and turn the art of war in to a straight-up science,
re

>>11497186
Look at this sparrow nigga
Small paragraph
Thought it'd be bigga
So long stretchin down
Across the page
Castin some wordy sleep
On the most diligent mage

Sparrows talk so damn much
They make BRASS dragons back off

>>11497101
Aw snap!

>>11497230
AW SNAP!

>>11497241
OH SHIIIIIIII

>>11497241
>It was even given the edge in Deadliest Warrior

Sword n' board juss cut off some niggas head.

Dass a KILLSHOT.

>>11497241
DUDE, RAPTCHA

when my dice hit the paper,
I'm called the annihilator,
theres never anything but a crater,
A suite of destruction is what i'll tailor,
for any customer i'll cater,
I serve my dish now and never later,
the taste is an exclusive flavor,
once in a lifetime, its somthing to savor

Yeah i'm a chef of destruction,
and somthing like blowing up megaton,
or beheading you're firstborn son,
whats done is done,
but that doesn't matter because its fun,
any weapon at my side knife or gun,
every way is how I do my job but i've gotta say my favorite one,
is throwing bitches like you into the sun.

>>11497272
Sparrows don't need a lot of words,
Too much chatter and we'd all look like birds.
Most Sparrows keep their rhyming short and sweet,
'Cause not many peeps can take the heat,
So unless you think you've got the meat,
I'd step on down and take a seat.

Has it already been one year?
Time flies too quickly for my liking, I fear.

But I digress, no less, for trolling is one of my passions, I profess. Deep compassions to harass and transgress each gentleman and lass.

The ground I tread, people forsake.
For the posts I make, trolls partake.
From the spewing of lead, to the disdain on each head.
Is the signature toll I fulfill in my stead.

>>11497339

fuckshit kids I forgot my trip,
rappin what comes outta my lips,
got my fingers thinking on their tips,
while my minds delving the deepest crypts.

Now the name here's Knife, and I'm not well known
but I figure it's 'bout time to get this party on;
there's lyrics to be heard and there's beats to think,
I'm a newbie but I'm choosy, so my rhymes don't stink.
I figure, "Hey, just look at this, a rapping thread.
Instead of lurking I'll get posting some of my own instead.
I may not have experience, may not have class,
but I'm Lawful Good, I'm in the hood, and I'mma here to out-rap your ass.

>>11497439
You call yourself a dragon, y'honorless fake?
Hell, I don't even think you're a Blue DRAKE.
Step up to the plate and defend your name,
Unless, of course, you ain't got the game.

Unique and lawless, this dragon's utterly flawless
Tiamat knew the first time she saw us She'd never make another creature more boss
The way I make communique leaves worldly poets in too much awe to speak
They'll spend their whole life trying to seek a relic to make them sound this angelique

>>11497272

yo yo, i'm looking at this nigga munk of funk,
and all i can think of is how well he's gonna fit in my trunk.
i got the fat low rider, and i'm a mystical entity,
rolled up on your set, dropped my dice, oh shit... NATURAL TWENTY!
i take a +1 shit on your lawn, then summon a crow,
you're the party, i'm DM, and i'm running this show!

>>11497101

I'm specced to slay, the anathema, dragonbane,
I'll spit an army of words and directly attack your brain,
and while you strain to comeback, all efforts in vain,
I'll feign that attack and boot you off of this plane.

And your homegirl Tiamat? I ain't impressed.
I don't roll with bitch dragons, I roll with the best,
so let that digest, truth cuts like a razor,
Know that nigga Elminster? Fucker owes me a hundred favors.

So come at me bro, my strength is absolute,
Ya' ain't nothin to me but a CR and some loot.

On the subject of crusaders,
why all the haters?
We’re like pumped up paladins,
so what if we came out later?

Rockin’ the tome of battle with the warblades and sword sages
i just don’t get why this fa/tg/uy rages.
We’re better than mages cuz’ we swing our swords through all the ages

Drizz’t Do’urden’s got nothin’ on me
call me a mary-sue? check my character flaws and see

>>11497471

This is just... just awful. All of this.

another night and i'm browsing /tg/
whining and bitching incessantly
looks like my favorite board
has gone straight down the shitter
but that's alright man, i was born bitter

come upon a rap thread lookin so sweet
as usual sword and board cleanin' the street
i'm no man to mess with rhyme and beat
but i gotta keep my mind up on its feet

so here i go, i suppose
muttering underhand insults towards my foes
feel that rush of creativity tickle my toes
even though i know that my rhymin' blows

but hell man, i can't rap colloquially
and so i'll proceed on stoically
because my lyrics are about as useful
as an MFA in poetry

i won't attack anybody ad-hominem
but, suffice to say, i think i can clobber them

and detract was my captcha phrase
seems like 4chan can read my mind these days
but you fellas carry on in your beat riddled ways
i'll hang back and admire the blaze

let the thread roll on an' come to a close
i'm sure /tg/ would rather watch
some fetish anime shows

THIN YO PAINTS NIGGA

>>11497471
Those your four lines of fury?
More like four lines of flatline
You need to move your ranks out of commoner and spend some more time on your rhymes before you cross this line
But don't worry, you'll get your chance to do this deadly dance
I'll drop word on your that entrance, use my ability so many times per day you'll cry it's unbalanced
Time to pack it home little dart farmer, and before you come back to garner my lair with your raps makes sure they are a little warmer.

>>11497557

fuck you this thread is archive material!

it's times like this I wish I wasn't a white nerd.

>>11497677
Just invoke the power of Weird Al Yankovic.

>him, funny
Captcha is right as always.

I get the drop, win the initiative race,
then outta nowhere there's already a mace,
in your face, bonecrushing concussion,
stammering comebacks, but there ain't no discussion,
with another percussion from six pounds of titanium,
shreddin' your brain with the shards of your cranium...

>>11497467

You aint well known because you aint fully grown,
Your death in the tapestry of fates been sewn'
Any time you got left is on a really short loan,
you're definitely not some solid snake because your covers been blown,
more like some dumb rookie whose safety is on like a glowing crown,
you think your hardcore and wanna be down,
then lets see you rip some real sound,
dont get on my toes because my rhymes sunder time,
enough for me to do another line.

*Sniff*

Dont know what you deal with but this heres a new kind,
the ones in this thread got the deadliest of minds,
so much that they cant be copied by mr.mime,
to rhyme on a dime and turn back time,
yeah we whip it so hard even admins pay the fine,
you're a noob sitting in nibelheim fighting the boss for trine,
while we're riding around in pure armor like the knights of the nine.

Well, we’re the geeks of the industry.
You don’t wanna mess with me, when I’m playin’ D and D,
The geeks of the industry.
And when you see us at your game, be prepared to flee.

Well they say that nerds do it, freaks do it. (Do it.)
Grab your character sheets and get to it.
Got my D-twenty in my sack full of dice.
I’m a miniature connoisseur for sure, so…
Get all the models out of the hutch.
I’ve painted so much lead, they call me the Dutch Boy.
Religious groups claiming it’ll make me a witch,
But, man, the worst you could say, is I’m the coven of ‘Litch’,

Yes, from Origins down to GenCon, I am GAMA gamer trekkin’.
You think you’re a dungeon master, ‘til I suck upon your neck.
It’s Count Luke Ski, in black clothes I’m displayin’ and slayin’,
But it’s more than cosplay.
It’s Vampire: the Masquerade, col’ LARPin’.
With a file, my faux fangs I sharpen.
A physical challenge, and you think I’m paper blockin’ you.
You show me scissors, but I’m rockin’ you!

Cause we’re the geeks of the industry.
Check out my huge power deck, when I C.C.G.!
The geeks of the industry.
And when you see us at your game, be prepared to flee.

Say you’re gamin’. (Gamin’?) The other folks you’re playin’,
Are the dorks from the towers in Wisconsin.
Matt is the D.M., and Igor brought the ‘Igor bars’ in. (Mmm, yeah!)
There’s Jeff, and bringing up the rear… (Is who?)
A short furrball named Carson. (Heeere’s Johnny!)
Nuh-uh, not the Carson with the talk show career,
But the Muskrat roleplaying king.
Got your caffeine? (Huzzah!) A’ight, let’s convene:

>>11497529
Let me shrug that off like a fur coat, my psychic resists is so high there is no hope
So while you struggle with your verbal wreck I'll be off to elope and add your girls to my harem and get groped
My lair is too dope, you'll never make it up this slope and I got Kord at my door to deny you with the velvet rope

My lair is members only so while your out waiting in the rain lonely I'm kicking it with my godly homies.
You got one wizard? I got enough to make a worldwide blizzard.
He owes you one hundred favors? I got a dozen Djinn to give me wished in a million flavors.
It's time to stop this bad behavior
You should quit and just try to be a good neighbor before I take over your town and force you all into hard labor

>>11497593

Look at this little kobold thinkin' he's the shit
if I were you my scaly bro I'd just quit

maybe get a job somewhere raidin' caravans
till some level ones come along and crush you like ants

It's true def-blue, you need to admit,
your rhymes are whack and your beats are shit

Your party’s on a bridge, up ahead ye see a hundred and twenty
Gigantic orcs armed with machetes.
Do you, ‘A’: Say ‘Hello, ain’t this a sunny day?
‘B’: You soil your armor and you RUN AWAY!
‘C’: Grab a can from your Mountain Dew stash!
Well the answer is ‘D’, (‘D’?) MASH MASH MASH!

So you’re slashin’ (hackin’), total monster mashin’ (mackin’),
Orc attackin’, and soon your band is back on the quest.
Whoever saves the damsel she will betroth*,
Suspiciously familiar, she’s just like a perky goth!

But to save her you will have to face sniper sloths,
A vicious troll, a winged T-Rex, vixens who will eat your soul,
And a drunk vampire with a puzzle trap, and if you
Don’t answer right, you’re dead. What do you do? (What?)

Jeff cast a spell, but it only knocked their hats off.
Igor turned to Matt and said, “I kill Gandalf!”
Carson just collapsed and quivered like a pup.
Well here is what I did, so, yo, listen up:
After I tightened up my tights, I hung a disco ball so that the lights
Distracted them, I snuck right past their sights.

Faced the troll, with my saving roll, he was defeated.
I roasted the Pega-Saurus so I’d eat it. (Eat it!)
The sirens I greeted, with my eighteen charisma they fainted, (add sound of women swooning)
Then I solved the riddle of the mead-head.

He said “Now pick a number from a million down to one!”
I said ‘forty-two’, and he shriveled in the dawn sun.
For rescuing Gilly, she said she would thrill me.
Became my bride, mission ended, me on victory’s side.

And before anybody gets a chance to speak,
I say, ‘Yo, don’t say nothin’, I guess I’m just a geek’!

Hot chicks in chain mail bikinis,
In the hip joints, want our hit points.
And we’ll ask ‘em when they face us in the
Coliseum, ‘Who’s your D.M.?’

>Open rap battle thread. Read all of Sword n' Boards and DBB's. Keep scrollan for the rest.

Glorious

>>11497835
I guess it's true, haters gonna hate
So let me break this down, short and sweet, in a way you can relate:

Your rhymes and shorter than your dick,
with skills like that no wonder you're the last pick.

You should quit rapping and try fighter for a while,
brain dead full attack every round seems more your style.

No go scurry off scared to your cloister,
you're just a visitor anyway in this world that is my oyster.

>>11497834

looks like this blue blood fool needs to be taken down a notch,
my right hand holds a long sword, my left is clutching my crotch,
because in the words of necro the penis is mightier than the sword,
and i'll slap you to death with my erection, after i finished off your hoard.
you slipped up buddy, you left your rear exposed,
and slaanesh won't have shit on me after i'm done raping this hoe.

Is this really Sword n' Board?
Hooollllyyy shiiiit.

>>11497947
Something just arrived for you.

>>11497765
Big words for a small man hiding in a Big Shell;
better hope you've got better rhymes or this'll be hell.
I may not be new, but all that means' I ain't stale
so get your swollen head back in the game or else you might fail.
Legends grow from nothings, but still nothing remains,
because these threads are still so young, their mommas in labor pangs,
so baby, listen, maybe you should think twice again,
I could be around a million years, so don't start trying 'til then.

>>11497834

Don't kid yourself nigga, I'm tight with Kord,
bestowed as his chosen, with my namesake sword,
and as the lord of the mic, I ain't even fazed,
I give the word, and your lair gets razed,
but crazed I am not, you won't incite me to fume,
I mean, we're practically brothers since I've shared your mother's womb!

I've got material interests, you can keep the esoteric,
and bitches ain't shit, I'm straight-up barbaric.
The honeys get hysteric when I shove'em aside,
bitches only try to latch onto me for a free ride,
but I conquer and divide, I'll never take a bride,
why buy the cow when the milk never subsides?
My pride's all I need, I go where I'm beckoned,
If it's all you can get, help yourself to my sloppy seconds.

>>11497946
A true warrior knows when to admit defeat
and my lizard friend you have me beat

But I'm a lawful guy and don't quite know what to do
so can I be an anti-paladin workin' for tiamat and you?

seriously man i can do "bad"
i'll be the best black guard you ever had

captcha- system ignoble
captcha, you magnificent bastard

>>11497947
Sounds like you need some more glistening oil 'cause your rhymes are pretty shoddy and you better put away your little prick, my dick is bigger than your body.

Quit wasting my time, I got bigger fish to fry than some whiny scrap of metal who was too stupid to die when Urza came by.
How's ol' Yawg anyway? That's right, dead as dirt.
Boy what a spectacle that much have been when you're whole race was wrecked by a senior citizen.

Time to run little creature before I force you to explode
I got my target locked and lightning breath set to overload

The time is right
Drive me close to fight
I wanna swing my sword
I'll go overboard
I rape and pillage
Loot your whole village
With a mount and blade
And an Ace of Spades
I make you mad like Cthulhu
Shoot like John Woo
and fight like Lu Bu
Tear right through you
A merciless gun man
One in each hand
Just makes it more fun man
I got fleet and I charge with fury
I don't get pens when I make a flurry
I guard my title, territorial
Been top dog for time immemorial
Either way I live day to day
Rollin' d20's to get my pay

>>11497995

oh please you waste of air, that ship sunk at port,
you want to phase me, write a rap, not a layman's retort.

shit. refresh the page and loose my whole lyric
ah well, i see what you're saying internet that shit's empiric.
why everybody pretending to be dragons and knights when they slingin' only words
this is /tg/ man, you know we all nerds
i understand the need for escapism
but damn, face your fears by facin' em
startin' to sound motivational
what i really meant to be is straight educational

learn from the thesaurus and dictionary
not some blue-blooded dragon and a full-armored fairy
no offense, i know you guys are kings
but watch your corruption man, loosen those rings
where we gonna be if we're just name droppin' things
creed

>>11498052
You spit as mean as ever Board, and I'll be back for round two just as soon as I go manage my empire for a while. Keep the thread alive, but this Dragon's got work to do.

The name is Yurik, and I don't fight the guards
I just live day-to-day and I live them hard
True Neutral's the guise, reclusion's the style
If you need some work, it better be worth my while
So I'm a Druid, what of it? I just love my trees
and if you fuck with my saplings imma break your knees
so if you need some dungeon delving done
then I'll call up my posse; our shit's number 1.

3.5 for life.

>>11498230
Likewise, waiting for when you get back man. As long as people keep contributing I'll keep bumpin.

bout to lay some more Raptcha down.

>>11498075

my whirring gears click back like the action on a gun,
you've got no chance against me flesh beast, i eat dragons for fun.
blue blood will surely flow when i unload my horror raps,
and not only that but my phyrexian crew will be bustin' caps.
you speak of old yawg like like we were husband and wife,
when it was in fact me who took his life,
yeah that old fag urza was like a puppet on my line,
and when they day is out i'm gonna drink his blood like wine.

Lemme hit you with the tale of Yucatan Lubbock

Fuckin up the jungle in meso-america,
a badass explorer, with an eye for the numerica,
Yucatan Lubbock with his researched machete,
tamed the Serengeti, fuckin' wrestled a yeti,
returns to his homeland, greeted with confetti,
don't bother with the petty, he goes for the big haul,
got like a million dead animals lining his wall.
they call him a monster, how he circumnavigates,
from the other explorers he gets nothin' but hate,
it's lonely at the top, but the view is great,
shoots straight from the hip, ballin' like a felon
This jacket? Vespucci. These shoes? Magellan.

>>11498426
DRAWFAGS.

NOW.

fuck that's tight

>>11498426
captcha is rummaged gear

>>11498426

>>11498370
talkin' bout guns and bustin' caps how original
man, your rhyme's are goin' down like a faulty dirigible
step it up man, be self-referential
right now your lyrics be losin' their potential
sit down and philosophize
like socrates seein' the skies
quit droppin these weak artificialities
your personas dyin more often than greek tragedies
now i know you can have at these
but right now it's all just fallacies

you're a line of text, no demonic creation
terrorizing your parents basement, not a nation
get off the avatar high horse
come at me with that heavy rhymin' force
pick up the pencil, stop bein' so mental
bitch your idiocy is pretty detrimental.

>>11497946

Stop right there criminal scum!
you rhyme like an illiterate bum,
look like a dirty crumb stuck to the walls of a semen stained slum,
always acting hard when you dragons a-come,
I think it best I get it off my chest and send you back where you came from,
to save all the future posters a mile of walking through your dung,
The beginning of your end is here and your unmaker has sung.

eat all your families eggs while i'm at it,
oh man its my favorite habit,
when I eat the siblings of my enemies and hunt em like wabbits,
I have a stomach bigger than the dunes of arrakis,
and I have teeth bigger than Gabe.Ns fatness,
with more grandeur than the most infamous space captains,
I spit rhymes on par with the rap legends,
against me a baddie like you couldn't last seven seconds.

I'll slurp down your mommas clutch while I prep the banlist,
Eating your brothers and sisters while your on top of the threads shitlist,
Is the best kind of arousal for me to do this business,
your treasure equates to a poor kids christmas,
but any loot looks good when you're poor,
unfortunately for you I've got more wealth than ARM and CORE,
when I come I wont be knocking on the cavern door,
i'll be aiming for your head right between the eyes bleeding on the floor.

loot from a gecko like you aint worth the trouble,
its time for you to leave that bubble,
up and shave that stubble,
and go to work with an ungrateful grumble,
because your shit got jacked by a hungry rookie with a stomach rumble.

>>11498426
Thread's over. Go home.

against blue and board my flows are lacking,
but i'm in for long haul, so you won't catch me napping.
i too come with a tale this one from the 41st millenia,
about a guardsman named scuds from the planet of cadia,
and how he came to be mutated into a pet bull terrier.
scuds was patrolling with his squad when the 13th hit,
and like most guardsmen on the frontline, he couldn't do shit.
he sreamed and ran when faced with the noise marines attack,
to which he was knocked unconscious, shackled, and stuffed in sack.
this tale ends in a way that is truly callous,
scuds is now a slaanesh plaything with an extra phallus.

>>11498426

Number 2 in Lubbock's crew, "Pectorals" Lawrie,
they share their adventures, they share the glory,
a full story tall, the man moves mountains,
motherfuckers drink pints, Lawrie drains fountains.
He don't count the gold, but knows how to procure,
flexin' the muscle like an entrepreneur.
Such is the life of Pectorals Lawrie,
Not the brains of the op, but workin' security

>>11498048

You must not see where i'm coming from that well,
laughing at a nub like you coming to a LAN with a stock dell,
you prance around like an elite jarman kell,
but your a scrub that cant even rhyme that well,
although you're up against someone who washes his balls in the fires of hell,
step down or you'll get fucked up harder than the highest paladin whom fell.


you're under the covers while I slip into your bed with a knife,
like a cake i'll savor every slice and dice,
i'll consume your body so through there wont even be a chunk left for the mice,
you cant roll the dice to save because your veins are frozen like ice,
while I take your heart out like a surgical bank heist,
I hope you come back so I can eat your giest,
maybe then you'll put up more than this weakass fight.

How about a rhyme from the grim dark future?
A place so bad your commissar tries to shoot ya?
You know we roll tight in our pimped out tank
Blowin' up xenos like our shit don't stank
Greenskin hordes ain't got nuthin' on us
Blow a hole in the ranks with a Leman Russ!
And how about the Tau with their fancy ass guns
Here's an orbital strike like a thousand suns!
Best watch your back when the Eldar come near
They use their minds to kill ya, but we got no fear
For every one of them we got a million more!
Then you got the Necrons, and they're hardcore
But keep on blastin' and they just disappear!

>>11498853

>single-syllable rhymes

son, I am disappoint

>extreme counsels
OH LAWD

>>11498820
I lol'd

>>11498844
>>11498426

Goddamn. Drawfaggotry. Writefaggotry. these need to join the ranks of Crazy Hassan and Gav and Bob as beloved /tg/ characters.

back to the front page with you

>>11498528

mate the only shit that's going down is vernacular funk,
and while you're down there you can cop a face-full of spunk.
my dirigible's re-inflatable and it tea-bags your face.
you're rhymes are disgraceful son you best leave this place.
you're dropping philosophy like you're name's damocles,
i'm sword over your head, and the string that breaks easily.
you're style's dead, so is your whole rhyme family,
vernacular you can't play, i'm hold this down like gravity.

>>11499053

fuck epic typos my bad

>leave thread to watch movie
>finish it, listen to The Antlers while playing minecraft
>45 minutes listening to Hospice album
>come back to see grand thread
>in no mood to try to rhyme anything

Dayumn...

Rollin dice, smackin kobolds with my 20s
Getting that exp, earning my winnings
Up comes a boss that we cannot beat
SAVED BY DARK HAIRED SWORDSMAN, ITS A DMPC

Newfag here, got little to say
Got no dice across the table
No campaigns to play
Ain't much of a fa/tg/uy
I'm not a great player

Nope
Nuh uh!

But check it peeps
got plans for later


While rollan' skills I lack
and my builds are obviously wack
my write'n skills ain't slack
and form the basis of my attack!

One game of DH, gutted and tweaked
props to /tg/ for their perfect technique
Cuz we playing Evangelion in a coming week

With my table covered in angel gore
I'm run'n a newer game from before
A month on into the school season
Hosting 4e, though trolls think it's treason

Nope, I ain't got no neckbeard
And I don't play four ten K
Not thin'n no paints
Nor deep strike'n tanks

(Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!)

But just gimme a season or two
And my Nid's are coming afta' you!

Heya! /Tg/! Cut me some slack!
I gotta get myself employed
Don't you give me no flak!

just cuz I'm not a /tg/entlemen
don't mean I ain't real
Take another look at the rhymes I now deal

Now I ain't gonna beg, I'll work for it all
show those other newfags how to answer the call
How to be a /tg/er with their own two hands
and post more than spam about being FATAL fans

Gonna pull myself up my way
all the way to the top some day

And on that day!
You're all gonna say!

"Man that's the /Tg/er I wanna meet someday"

>>11499216
Props.

>>11499216
*clap*clap*clap*

>>11498853
Chaotic Evil detected, oh shit, yes it's time.
Just calm down a little. Let's interpret your weak-ass rhyme;
funny that you keep using the same syllable to work off.
Face it, you're a dragon fighter, but you're still a jerk off.

New kid on the block, maybe, but you've got no soul.
If you sold it to a demon for rap, ask for a refund, fo'
yo' stylin's just ain't stylin', 'cause it's looking kinda weak.
You try too hard, you ain't no star, your skills all seem to reek
of a guy who's wheel five on a car built for four;
if you sell out yourself much harder people'd call you a whore.

So in conclusion, words leave contusions but my words can still heal;
you're my elder, not my better, and I don't intend to steal
some imaginary rhyming crown from down atop your head.
I just want you to admit that I deserve some respect.

we seem to be back. bump

fuck archives, I'm saving this to my goddamn hard drive for posterity

the sheer amount of OC these rap threads turn out is mindboggling

to my knowledge there has never been a single repost of something that was archived previously.

Not one of y'all fools can withstand my ownin' beats,
movin' up on ya like a squad of Roman feets
Don't fuck wit me, boy - come on, it's on
I'm tossin' my dice, now I'm crossin' your Rubicon.

Look at you splutter, can't fault you for tryin'
even though my skill just threw you to the lions.
Now time-warp to CE 80, you're a Christian made a martyr
ending up a bigger disappointment than Jimmy Carter.

I can't help but laugh when you lyrically stumble
I'm rollin' natural 20s while you critically fumble
and are humbled, then go back to lurkin' like a clod
with your pants smelling fresh, like you just seen an Elder God.

Unbeknownst to ya'll fools coming straight from the nether
A new kind of attitude and rhymes creeping up on you like bad weather
I'm here to smack you, crack you down like you was wearin leather,
A down ass bitch, ball gag in your mouth to keep your rhymes from the people,
They're salutin the new king on high as I preach up on the steeple.

Give me two lines and I'll expand your minds,
Words you can hear but sounds you cant make,
I'll bring the unholy to life and shatter sanity in my wake,
I've got Cthullu, a zulu, and two broads watchin hulu,
on my imac I attack to let you fools know it's time to get with the end times and celebrate the end of days? Why whatta what? Cause it's the motherfuckin end of days and the dead will rise!

Surprise surprise, all you pallies and priests you're first on the list, top of the menu bottom of the heaps.
Holy vestments wrapped around your ankles, caught you on the john, No sense waiting, we go sunblock for the coming dawn.
No sense asking for Bhamut, he'll vomit, once he sees what we got in store, a whole legion of zombie necromancers gonna dance a all up on his whore, his priestess, the leastest of things we gotta worry about.

So now that I bring my fat beats to a close, just want to let you know why the dead rose,
It's the second coming, but the first LP
Going to go bring about a new way of the world, and it means we all favor CE....

Chaotic evil up in this mother ya'll... we out. Live dead and ready fo yo punk asses.

need art for a hombrew magic card. where should i go to find it?

rhyme on gentlemen

I got the Dew an' I snatched some weed
Was gonna get the crew for some D&D
I'm Dungeon Master bitch, be ready for me
Cause I got traps and monsters you wouldn't believe

Got traps in the walls, spikes down in the floor
Poison acid pits you ain't seen before
Collapsin' the roof, annihilatin' spheres
Ain't a chance in hell you gettin' through here

What, made it through? Fine traps ain't solid
Maybe I'll test your riddlin' knowledge
What's on three legs in the mornin', afternoon two-
Fuck it man, I ain't got time be dealin' with you!

Got monsters in the halls, balors an' shit
Yuan Ti, aberrations, a fuckin' demi lich
Got through it all? Ain't you a lucky fucker
Don't worry G, I got me kobolds like Tucker

I know I said I'd go away, I wasn't here to stay,
But how could I resist coming out today?
Just a bit late joining in the fray,
So much is said, so much to say,
At least the trolls have been held at bay.
/tg/ came out and busted some rhymes,
I'd say that we've had some good times,
Things have changed for better or worse,
You might say we've suffered a curse,
OC taken out in a hearse, all it needs is a nurse, converse and coerce a reverse.
Clearly I'm not terse in my verse, I hope you're not to adverse.

I like big swords and I cannot lie
Them other fighters just deny
But when a rogue walks in with an itty-bitty shiv
And sticks it in my spleen
I get *pissed*
Wanna get cleavin'
'Cause I got attack like you ain't believin'
Stab him in his smug snake face
Smash his skull in with a heavy mace
Gonna swing around my zweihander
No time to banter
The guy in the bar tried to tell us
But that Bluff you got
Makes me so helpless

((Thank you everyone who has already posted, and those who will continue to post for making this board even better.))

So sit right there, let me spin you a tale
One of a dude all dressed in mail,
His name was McKnight, dashing and bold,
For he was one who would never fold,
Dragons, Chimeras, Ogers, you name it,
Longsword, Greataxe, you name it,
Beatin' back wenches, too many to name 'em,
For he's a man of strength, you can barely face 'em,
Best step out of his way before you get wasted,
For he is a man that twists and binds,
All that exists, the very fabric of time,
And will crush you down so you best be kind,
Take a step back, rewind,
And remember to never cross McKnight.

This was amazing. Thank you all.

bump. this rap thread ain't gonna die after only one day.

Luciph33r is going to record a song for your ears. WATCH OUT.

This IS getting archived, right?

Yo, it's MC Joe Boomah right here on da floor, and I'm here to show you my dope rhymes I've been working on for the past 30 seconds. CHECK IT:

Yo yoyo yo yo y oyo y o
Yoyoy oy oyoy oy yoyooy
nigga

>>11501554
Nigga, yo rhymes fall flat and are just not phat,
Take the time if you're gonna rhyme,
Just being lazy, why you gotta be like that?
Brotha, I know you can do fine,
Just get in the flow, feel down low,
Take it slow and be a pro.

Cremona 26B a tiny moon on the edge of the system
plays host to some outlaws, all of them professing to be victims.
But like the All Seeing Emperor we peer through their disguise,
nothing but heretics do we see in front of our eyes.
So we approach with stealth and much tactical genius
and unleash a stream of Holy Promethium burning hot as the surface of Venus.
The cleansing fire purges the place and scours the polluted rock,
as long abandoned freighters beatifully explode on the dock.
This heartwarming sight elicits from our Hierophant a prayer.
Wheresoever there is heresy, the Inquisition soon shall be there.

>>11501764
that's not shitty at all

Guardsmen ready
Chimera runnin'
Old school
Las gunnin'

When the commissar walks in, you know how you feel
It's like your reading Problem Sleuth, 'cause shit just got real
We're the Imperium of Man, and we're here to fight
Chaos brings darkness, good thing we have a flashlight
We're on the warpath, and Chaos avoids where we trod
We're like the Blues Brothers, on a mission from God
Any battle you win, I can throw it back at'cha
Cause your victories are about as useful as reCaptcha

So fuck you chaos! The Big E is where it's at!
I think I'm done here, pants status: shat

Check it.

http://www.mediafire.com/?hujpxc09pq7z45d

>>11502420

It pops too much, can't understand a word you're saying.

>>11502479

Yeah, my pop filter caught fire/melted. It is very hot here. I'll upload a version with the vocals mixed a bit louder.

http://www.mediafire.com/?yxp7n51q5ha3mjj

In the past couple weeks we've had a few leaks as the spambot speaks,
We've put up with spam with tongues in our cheeks,
Makin' and playin' and having fun,
Moot put up CAPTCHA and we were glad to be done,
Here's my current one: Lemnizter, Blane,
Haters were hatin' sayin' CAPTCHA is lame,
That with it /tg/ just wasn't the same,
Then the spambot returned,
A trick the /b/tards had learned,
We piled on /g/ and called it their fault,
Once again it came to a halt,
Moot made a good choice and took out voice,
Again the channers rejoice,
The spambot is now gone, ending my song.

Bump for awesome

I still haven't figured out 4chan time.

>>11504365
It's just military time.

...or did you mean something else?

>>11504365
Just about every awesome rap thread stays around for a couple of days and gets posts until it autosages.

That's 4chan time.

so glad to see this thread is still alive
Gonna get mad and bad and make you strive
To be a harder, smarter, quicker on the trigger
DJ deadhead here to bring the voodoo so you do all the work for my undead niggas

Bringing about the end of times
with a skill and flair in the air with my rhymes
The dead will rise and it's all under my guise
To bring about the new world order with sacrificial knives.

The word's getting out about this demi lich
Spitting fire his desire to make the rapping world his bitch
Got a legion of zombies and a seven year itch
Serving up beats so fat you go damn that's rich!

So bring in all the undead,
Necrons, tomb kings, zombies, and vampire counts
No LG cunts can top us,
No priest can stop us,
The band of the hawk had Corkus
And we don't serve Orcus

Yeah, DJ deadhead we out. Coming for you PCs, got a stable of succubi rollin my blunts, you know this shit is fly. Undead, classic campaign BBEGs know what I'm saying.... We out we out

Thread needs to keep on rollin

ain't gonna stop till we catch one in the brain

<------ aw HELL yeah

Poland cannot into rap, crap

I love this thread

lemme tell a little somethin' 'bout Valentine, Gers Valentine, the master of rhyme,
who could slap a beat together so buttery sick, everybody in the club would get straight chaotic
because hearing such rhymin' with impeccable timin', could get just any nigga straight-up movin' and jivin'
the flow from his lips made bitches bounce hips; you could tell this nigga wasn't doing small-time cantrips
He was a masterful bard if there ever was any, he made the bitches swoon, and he'd fucked quite many

Like a well-done Bard, Valentine's role was played right; if the party is the stage, this nigga is the spotlight
in social stances, and spinnin' tale, and when it came to rap, he was the Holy Grail
Everyone was a fly to his honey-rich beats; visiting far and wide to see him rockin' the streets
Everyone but the dorfs, but it's pretty clear why; with Gers, the chance of cave-ins only multiplied
dorf architecture may be the best around, but Gers Valentine is best at bringin' the house DOWN

Rock on Chicago