If that is in fact a sketch of Rei in the bottom left there, then no. Otherwise, I think I'll manage.

He is not pretty enough for Pretend.
I'll probably eat him shortly.

Kill Dave, make a lampshade from his skin and a chair from his bones, and play Solitaire on the computer for the next 5 years.

I'll have a higher chance of emerging sane than with Dave alive.

>>12972762
He seems like a pretty chill guy, and there's plenty in the way of entertainment. If the Radio does contact other Bunkers then that'll help stave off cabin fever, maybe. Sounds survivable, with a bit of patience.

This will only end with me either killing myself or killing him

me and dave are gonna have a blast.

There's no music, is there?
Fuck that, I'd kill myself.

I've been around guys like Dave. You will be a certifiable lunatic if you're forced into a confined space with him for more than a week. I'd rather be stuck with a rabid dog or a brobro.

Seems like a pretty chill guy, good thing I brought my hardrive with tons of music. If other people in different bunkers got the same arrangement we can play via radio.

>>12972925

If not you can explain the rules. You got the time...

"Hello, Dave, I'm Barry. This place reminds me of Riker's. Those sons of whores took my D&D books away from me because they thought it was helping me plot my escape. They were wrong, it was those Robert Howard books that were doing that.
So, what edition do you prefer? We've got a lot of fucking time, and I'm a patient man. Just... Don't pick the wrong edition. Me and the other inmates fought in the Edition Wars too. Men died, Dave. So which is it?"

Look at the way his hair is matted at the base

I bet he smells like an old gym sock

I'm a pretty chill guy, and mental endurance and perseverance usually reserved for inanimate objects.

If Dave doesn't have a mental breakdown that endangers us I think we'll be fine.

>>12972762

Is Dave a GURPs fanboy?

No? We're good to go.
Yes? This can only end in suffering.

>>12972762
>no Internet connection.
>Could you survive five years without going insane?
No; I'm an Internet addict. I use it both for the majority of conversations and for my daily fap(s).

Bereft of both, I shall slowly go insane and take it out on poor Dave. I shall explain this to him, and ask him to kill me, and turn my body into jerky, so that he can at least have some extra meat to tide him over from the rations.

It's all I can do.

Determine if I can contact other bunkers reliably. If so, Dave is expendable.

he better have a decent sized cock because there's no way I'm going to make it 5 years with only my toys

>>12972762
>he has long hair
in b4 everybody goes gay because Dave has ONE semi-female characteristic

So... no music, no actual books, no people, NOTHING to do, only water to drink. Oh, and Dave. This might just be hell, gentlemen.

can we substitute dave for a /tg/ namefag?

>>12973022
It's probably the apocalypse. I don't think you've got much room to be picky.

so 5 years of pretend and one-on-one RPs?
ohhh, god... this will be bad

depends on my willingnes to turn gay after a couple years

>>12973054
oh well, i'll make him learn to use his tongue if thats what it akes

1.Murder Dave.
2.Spend the next five years trying out necromancy.
3.Emerge.
4. Raise Everything.
5. Build Deep Rot.

>>12973054
>>12973070
after a few months i would try to unlock the door and search the wastes for a female(s) promising them food for sex

>>12972762
>>12973057
>we got a laptop here that has pretty much every RPG ever written on it
RPG IS A NEBULOUS TERM
IT COULD BE THAT THERE ARE ACTUAL VIDYA RPGS ON THE LAPTOP TOO, AND OLD EMULATED CONSOLE ONES
WE'LL GET TO PLAY THEM IN SHIFTS
>and then the laptop screen breaks from something on the ceiling or shelves hitting it
>Dave and us blame each other
>harsh words were said
>lies were told instead
>"I didn't mean to make you cry."
>And before too very long
>I was totally in love with you, I bathed in you,
>Lost in you, captivated by you,
>Amazed by you, dazed by you.
>Nothing can go wrong
>and then we gay out and are ostrasized and lynched six years later when we reunite with the rest of society

I learn to paint/draw with whatever materials are in the bunker, do so for 5 years and hope to sell them for millions along with a book of my experience after we get out. Also eat Dave, or play games with him whichever.

>>12973086

Um... this isn't Fallout. This is not radiation, it's some unknown viral infection. You'll probably be killed, and kill Dave in the process. Do you want to be a Dave Killer? No, you don't.

>>12973051
In that case, it depends on the namefag, I guess. What namefags does /tg/ think it could stand being cooped up with for five years?

>>12973112
I'd venture that I would, after two or three months.

>>12973113

I'll take scaredofshadows. Five years should be enough time to reform him and turn him into a oroductive member of the new society.

/tg/ doesn't resort to situational homosexuality nearly as much or as fast as /a/.
I am not amused.

>>12973113

inb4DLFG

>>12973113
I for one would love to be trapped in a room with RAWK or any of the female namefags really

5 years? Assuming no health problems appear, I can do that.
Dave looks like he knows a bit about computers, so maybe we can code our own RPG.

1,826 days in confinement, with no indicator of night and day...

... okay. I'd do it. I'd also not turn gay, would become a bro of Dave and we would emerge master DMs.

>wife and kid dead
>dogs dead
>Dave and nothing but RPGS.
Escapism, fuck year.
I would go mad, though. Instantly.

>>12973150
RAWK is like seven feet tall and into BDSM. There are many elegan/tg/entlemen that would not mind being stuck in a bunker with her.

>Could you survive five years without going insane?
Sure. I already am ... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

>>12973155
>>Dave looks like he knows a bit about computers, so maybe we can code our own RPG.
At which point, Dave tires to impress his new roommate/friend/only-companion for the next five years by saying, "sure!"

Then you both break the laptop by fucking the data up somehow and kill each other in a tearful rage.

>>12973136
Fa/tg/uys already get no sex and don't turn gay by being around other males, I don't see what 5 years with Dave would change to that.

>>12973155
Count me in.

>>12973173
>>12973150

i dunno if we'd be able to keep up with her libido though

This seems acceptable, especially if its zombiepocolips. I'm a chill person so I get along with most people very well.

>>12973157
>I'd also not turn gay
>1,826 days in confinement
I call bullshit. Go five years with only ONE OTHER HUMAN BEING IN A CONFINED SPACE WITH HELL OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR WITH QUITE POSSIBLY NO PORNOGRAPHY, and you don't think you'll go gay?

>would become a bro of Dave and we would emerge master DMs.
Unpossible. What helps to build a GM is having had run not only lots of campaigns, but also lots of players. With only one other player to play with, your skill level at "GM-ing" will cap fast.

>>12973205

Dave and Dave II?

>>12973051
Make it DLFG and I'm in. Hell, I'd even grow couple tentacles, just for her.

DO. WE. HAVE. TOILET. PAPER. FOR. FIVE. YEARS.

>>12973216
>every RPG ever written.
>inclues FATAL
yes, there is plenty of toilet paper ...

>>12973187
If she'd be willing to go gay, I certainly good.

I'd probably go insane with grief from losing my S.O., though.

>>12973208
>Go five years with only ONE OTHER HUMAN BEING IN A CONFINED SPACE WITH HELL OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR WITH QUITE POSSIBLY NO PORNOGRAPHY

Yea. Five years is a long time to go without. In such circumstances, I imagine that sooner or later something's going to happen, regardless of gender or appearance. Unless we're talking about a Luke, of course.

This is kind of how your life would be after a while.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmgLOKRl5J0

>>12973208
you can draw porn you know

>>12973216

Possibility 1) - Yes, and all is well.
Possibility 2) - No, but the shower is right there.

>>12973236
Pdf. No printer.
FFUUUUUUUU

>>12973237
last i checked gender didn't matter, just that she was the sub

>>12973216
...OH FUCKING SHIT.

Do...do we even have CLOTHES WASHING RESOURCES available for five years? I don't care if I get a single jumpsuit to wear all the damn time for the next five years, it just needs to be WASHED every so often goddammit. Otherwise, I'm just going about naked. No sense in wearing dirty clothes if I'm clean from the shelter's shower.

op draw us a map of the shelter in like ms pain or something

>>12972762
well, good thing I always leave with a bug-out bag in emergencies. good thing this shelter is powered. I always bring my laptop and terabyte HD with me, has all my porn and roms/movies, so we'd balance rpg's with old school 8 and 16 bit vidya, porn and pirated movies

feelsgoodman.jpg

>>12973242
Do you think that if I could draw porn I liked enough that I wouldn't wait in painful lust for the next Comiket to arise in the latter half of each year?

Even if five years is a good, long time to practice, it doesn't change that there'd be no variation.

>>12973263
Well, 'consumables' are included.
No sense in dressing up every day just to have to wash your clothes, though.
Doubly so if you do go gay.

>>12973251
That is pretty creepy that you 'checked'. But I'm a Dom anyway, so that works out.

>>12973299
Any and all things relating to nigh-all trip/namefags is creepy.

It's not the Anon's fault; it's the fags'.

>>12973113

I`d take Deathleapers Fangirl. She is a girl (which is a plus, no matter how she actually looks, 5 years in isolation will help us overcome such things), and I often find myself agreeing with the stuff she writes.

>>12973309
>no matter how she actually looks
I dunno about that statement, bro. You know HOW ugly people can get.

>>12973288
Just get some sweet radio-sex with the feminine voice on the radio. Its probably a guy, but you won't know for 5 years.

>>12973309
>>12973318
Eh, I hate fatties, but locked together for 5 years? Probably gonna get her preggers.

>>12973334
And that, good sir, is why I'd prefer Dave.

>>12972762
>That slot gives us our daily water and food rations for the next five years.
What's to stop me and Dave from getting more than just one daily ration set(s)?

Obviously this shelter was built for more than just two people from Dave's first statements. How does its computer system know not to give us a larger diet to subsist on for five years, say, for like 10 people? Each day, Dave and I, if we so chose, could get enough rations for 5 people.

I assume 10, because that's the smallest number of people that I'd assume be practical to make an individual contagion shelter for.

>>12973318

I know. I know. But if she is not monstrous (like 400 pounds combined with a bad skin problem) I think I`ll be fine. Good sex is an emotional thing for me.

>>12973343
Yeah, I'd rather go gay for Dave than do it with a fat and/or ugly person.

At least we know how he supposedly would look like from OP's pic.

"Hey, cool place. Happy to meet you Dave.

Oh, OK. Water, food, RPGs; nice.

So where does the booze come out?

Whaddya mean? Don't... don't even joke about that. There's no way they didn't set us up with some booze, right? There's, there's just got to be some around here.

I'm going to check under the bed.

Nope, not there. They really must have hidden it pretty well. What, are you kidding me? Ha, yeah right. We just... We just aren't looking hard enough, okay? Okay.

I AM calm Dave. I'm completely calm. Don't look at me like that, Dave.

There's... There's just got to be booze around here somewhere. Right?

>>12973349
She's apparently the opposite. Close to unhealthily thin.

>>12973344

And why would you want that?

>>12972791

looks more like Lain. I think we're good.

>>12973320
Aural sex would be nice, but how could I fap with Dave nearby?

That leads to eventual comparing of each other's boners, then each other's bodies, then attempting to Double Dutch Rudder each other, then eventually culminating in full-on balls-are-touching gay.

Sergalfag sounds like a great person to be cooped up with, maybe some class will rub off on me.

Here's the blueprint.

>>12972950
>Don't pick the wrong edition. Me and the other inmates fought in the Edition Wars too. Men died, Dave. So which is it?"
"Nam? fuck 'Nam. I fought in the edition wars"
*looooooooooooooong drink from a whisky bottle*
"I didn't make it"
"I'm dead inside"

>>12973334

Hopefully, condoms are included under "consumables"

otherwise, five years of blowjobs!

>>12973365
It's an option, I guess. It's not so much that I want to soak my loneliness in overeating for five years, it's more that I want to not be kept on "Ration Delivered: 250 grams high-nutrient slurry and 1/2 liter water" once a day.

Even if it is just the same thing each time, having more of each thing could at least be played with, or the water hoarded in semi-small amounts, in case the computer system cops out one day.

>>12973309
I would as well, got to know a few scots, general nice. course could've just been lucky.
So DLFG, are you prepared to kick my ass in 40k for the next five years?

Dave seems a little weird, and pretty messy. I'd probably get pissed if his pile fell over onto my stuff.
Crap, who's going to DM?

"Alright, you shower first then," I said to Dave. He seemed like a nice enough guy. Hell, at least he knew to shower. That alone put him ahead of half the people at my local hobby shop. Browsing through the rules of Spycraft with the intention of running a solo for the guy, the shock of the radio turning on made me jump.

"Is anyone out there," the voice said, more of a plea than anything. My hands fumbled for the dials. "Thank FUCK," I sighed into the microphone, "Someone else to talk to. Just two of us over here."

"Same here," the voice replied. "I'm Pete. Thought it'd just be me and Dave playing RPGs for years."

Weird. "I'm Mike. Small world, other guy over here is named Dave." There was a laugh from the radio. "Haha! Fuck, that's going to get weird. Hey Dave, I raised some guy on the radio. His name's Mike."

"Sup, Mike," came the distant voice from the speaker. Dave's voice. MY Dave's voice. My hands shook. Behind me, in the bathroom, Dave was still scatting a tune from Super Mario Bros. I clicked on the microphone again.

"H-hey. Pete. What's Dave look like?" There was a confused pause. "I dunno. Skinny. Long hair. Shitty little spike beard. No offense, Dave."

"S'cool," came the Other Dave's voice.

"Pete," I began, my grip growing damp. "Is there, like, a shitty drawing of Rei next to the computers that Dave drew?" As I asked, I stared into those penciled eyes, just askew enough to defy all sense Euclidean biology.

Pete's voice started to develop a rising note of concern. "... Y-yeah."

"Pete... I think we have more in common than you know."

And we weren't alone. Those were the first days of my time in that terrible experiment. Project Dave.

>>12973356
Hopefully it the food dispenses a sugary food or drink that you can ferment.

likely stuff dave inside nearest box and tie it shut

would be better than ripping him apart, yeah?

Well, I prefer guys who don't look like they haven't seen "outside" in years, but 5 years is a long time...

>>12973389

There's a small hallway outside of this, but that too is sealed (airlock hallway)

>>12973389
>Single bed
Whelp, not going to stay straight

>Deorker 7:20
Yeah captcha, I should probably get to bed for that De-orking in the morning

>>12972950

"Well Barry, the thing is don`t really play DnD, so I can`t tell you which edition I prefer. But how would you like to play some Dark Heresy or Cthulhutech? I prefer to be Gamemaster."

There is no Dave. You ate Dave a long time ago and the guilt has driven you insane, so that you always see him there, that insipid vacant stare on his face.

He's judging you, and what you did.

>>12973389
...I was expecting a government issue bunker/shelter.

This looks like a hastily refurbished one-floor condo. Evidence is in that there's a bathtub, instead of a shower alone, and only room enough for two people.

This isn't going to be as nice as I thought. I thought that if it was a government shelter, it'd be built for more people (which didn't make it in), so that Dave and I could have both "personal" spaces and a communal space.

>>12973409
This is awesome. Please continue.

Greetings fellow escapes from the contagion.
This is Mega over in bunker 37.
We never got a radio but some other thread gave me this ridiculous power that lets everyone hear me ALL THE TIME.
Prepare to hear me for the next 5 years.
Oh look some beer.

>>12973356
Rogue, I brought a bottle of emergency rum, just in case of apocalypse. And we can always use the cooking supplies to make more rum out of the candy in the rations, yes we will have snickers based rum. We good.

Also, I wanna try GURPS, have not tried it yet. I'll avoid running games like Cthulhu, we do NOT need mind screws until a good year or two has gone by and I know we are all mentally sound enough for it.

>>12973409

>>12973444
We are only seeing one room of the place, it's cool. Pretty sure we have a whole house.

>>12973409
that's... kinda cool, actually...
calling it, turns out Dave is either a Eldritch Abomination From Beyond the Stars (tm) or a hallucination brought on from the contagion.

>>12973435
>"Well Barry, the thing is don`t really play Dn-BANG

"Fucking 4rry. Wait, oh fuck, who am I gonna rape now!? AAAAGH, Barry why do you do this to yourself!?"

>>12973389
mfw One Bed.
>>12973409
Well, that's a frightening notion.

>>12973406
>So DLFG, are you prepared to kick my ass in 40k for the next five years?

Haha. I could live with that.

>suddenly
>tripfags and namefags pop out the woodwork in this thread
>and they're even talking to each other
Welp, that was fun while it lasted.

I think I understand.

But seriously though, where do we get our liquor?

>>12973409 Project Dave.

FUND IT

His eyes feel like they're undressing me already... God, I just know I'd end up getting knocked up. And with someone like that. It's not fair.

I think dave is a pretty cool guy. eh lives in a bunker with me and doesnt afraid of anything.

>>12973464
No, Dave's a government-issued clone companion for everyone who was lucky enough to get in a shelter.

>and then the entire radio channel is nothing but discussions and arguments as to "what" Dave is for the next 5 years, with each Dave not explaining a thing

>>12973488
protip: anal/oral

>>12973488
that's why im bringing a backpack full of condoms

>>12973472
I told you I brought rum. And it seems some people think we're gonna be alone in here, but the OP did say... oh wait, it didn't specify how many of us were in here with Dave. Damn, man, one player RPGs suck...

To be honest I wouldn't love being stuck with DLFG for that long.
So many little firewarrior bodies... They never stood a chance...

>>12973472

Make it yourself, it isn't hard. You just gotta be patient for three months, and make many, many batches.

>>12973488
>your post
WELL, LOOK WHAT YOU DID.

NOW I'M AROUSED GODDAMMIT.

I HATE YOU. NOW I HAVE TO LEAVE AND FAP.

>>12973452
mfw Snickers Rum

>>12973502

You think self-control will last for a full five years? Even I have to admit, that anal/oral will only take you so far.

>>12973409
>>12973409
oh god, I lol'd heartly

>>12973488
You could always kill him and leave him in the airlock, out of the way.

Radio discussions open up on how they killed their daves.
"I clippeed mine with a Gurps book he had behind him, looks like i found a use of that ruleset afterall."

>>12973519
THAT"S THE SPIRIT!

Heh heh, spirit...

>>12973510
>>12973472
>>12973356
You can attempt to ferment any starchy food that comes out of your rations, like bread into beer, or fruits/juices into wine just by leaving it in water.

It's chancy though. When you do home air-fermentation, you gotta hope to sweet god that some other microbe doesn't contaminate your creation. God forbid, a bad microbe and your alcohol-microbros cross-breed, and make a liquid that IS alcoholic, but at the same time is poisonous.

>>12973488

Make condoms out of the cling-wrap that the food is wrapped in.

>>12973507
Vaul/tg/ames?
I'd still go stark, raving mad within a week, though.

>>12973536
Can we please derail this thread in ways to kill Dave?

Fuck plant
Eat dave
Play with rations

>>12973545
It's not derailing, its still on topic! of Dave and our bunker.

And dont forget we can sorta reach the other bunkers, we just have to go off of a trust policy on the radio chats on the results of dice rolls.

>>12973545
No, because most of us with sense realize it's better to have a nerdy, kind-of annoyingly-nice roommate for five years than NO HUMAN CONTACT AT ALL, AND HIS CORPSE JUDGING YOU FROM A CORNER UNTIL THE AIRLOCK IS SAFE TO OPEN.

>>12973519
>>12973452

How precisely would one make Snickers Rum? This is one of the more promising things /tg/ has stumbled upon, and we owe it to ourselves to try this concoction as the greatest export of /tg/.

>>12973545
>Take a chair to the back of his head.
>Repeatedly
>Then eat.
>Repeat with all imaginary daves once insanity sets in

you know if you kill dave there is no way to dispose of his corpse

he may smell bad now, but it will only get worse

>>12973561
How easy would it be to force Dave to choke on said dice?

>>12973563
You have human contact via radio.
You also have waste disposal, obviously.

I'd fuck dave, but i wouldn't let him fuck me.

He seems enough of a pussy to allow that to happen for 5 years.

Pretty sure i could be the dominant one in this relationship. 5 years of being a killer DM

>>12973564
Pretty much, same kind of still you make rum in, but with mashed up snickers in their under pressure.

>>12973561
>>12972762
A lot of you forget that radio contact to other bunkers is a "maybe."

There's a strong chance that a lot of you aren't accepting that Dave may well be the only one you can talk to for the next five years, supposing that your radio can't reach any other shelter.

>>12973563
He's only judging you if you don't gouge his eyes out.

>>12973568
Chop into pieces, dispose down whatever hole I shit in.

OH YEAH, blueprint is meant to have a toilet. There IS a toilet there.

Five years without anything even remotely stimulating?
Fuck. You. With. A. Cactus.

>>12973576

>>12973587
Then his black, empty eyesockets will bleed old blood and putrescence as they rot, and stare at you from beyond the grave.

>>12973409
>Project Dave

>>12973610
... I turn Dave's body to face the wall.

>>12973610
I flushed him down the toilet years ago. [spoiler] After I ate him.

>>12973576
You are not a bro.
Not a bro at all.
You don't deserve Dave.

>There's a strong chance that a lot of you aren't accepting that Dave may well be the only one you can talk to for the next five years
Because to admit it is to invite madness.

>>12973614
Dave will then >>12973568

Enjoy your corpse-stench.

>>12972762
> green shirt
> brown pants
> lanky frame
> chin sruff

Ruh roh, Raggy.

After spending 3 years with dave, you caved in and killed him. Many of the other people on the radio seem to have done the same.
It was a lonely two years, but it's over and you can finally leave this hellhole.
Just as the clamps on the door clack open and you start to swing open the door, you hear a last message over the radio stating "testing inconclusive". "odd" you think as you step through the doorway into freedom and see....Dave... and Dave says to you.
"Oh, hey! Someone else made it to the shelter before it locked. Did anyone else make it before the seals clamed in? I guess not...

But hey, at least I'm not alone in here! The name's Dave, dude. Good to meet you. Put your stuff down, bro. I'll show you where everything is. Okay. That slot gives us our daily water and food rations for the next five years. It's programmed to run for ten, but after five the contagion will be gone. In ther door is the bathroom and shower, and in here near me are the life support systems that run the bunker. We also got a radio in case anyone made it to other ones, so we can talk to people maybe. Apart from that... we got a laptop here that has pretty much every RPG ever written on it, and die rollers and minis, but no Internet connection. Seems the creators didn't get around to hooking that up... but as far as I can tell, oxygen, power, consumables, water and radio are going to last the five years in here."

>>12973637
HE LEFT SCOOBY OUTSIDE TO DIE? HE MUST PAY FOR HIS SINS WITH HIS BLOOD!

>>12973389
Fuck that. After I come back from a shower, I'm MSPainting a real shelter for Dave and I.
It'll be something that actually looks like a shelter. Not what I think is his apartment with a ration dispenser and airlock installed.

"Oh, hey! Someone el-
>BANG
...
...
...
"Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for tuning in this day to Skull Radio, where we play only the finest House, Electronic, Techno, Club, and Rap music. I'm your host, DJ Skull, and today I have the most recent compilation from the former Ministry of Sound. Stay stylish, my listeners, for good music...will never die."

>from Loelta

>>12973623
Ew. I hate dead bodies. Can't I just burn it?

>>12973640
If this happens, you at least know it's then perfectly safe an available to go gay with Dave.

1. He ain't going anywhere. Fate made sure of that.
2. Well, another five years, since you killed him and obviously reset the experiment or whatever timer once you walked into the new room. They needed another two years to make a new Dave and shelter outside the old one.
3. Let's try NOT killing Dave this five-year go-round and see what happens.

>>12973640
FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCK!

>>12973640

>railroading

CHOOCHOO

>>12973657

>the finest House, Electronic, Techno, Club, and Rap music

Shit, man. You have no fucking taste.

>>12973697

You just mad your music ain't on the list.

Hell, you probably like prog rock or some garbage.

>luracte school

>>12973657
>good music
>House, Electronic, Techno, Club, and Rap
>מיין פּנים ווען

>>12973661
The body catches fire with the improvised burning tools you made.
The fire catches the rug on fire. It is on fire.
The rug on fire catches the table on fire. It is on fire.
The table on fire catches the some electronics behind the tinfoil curtain. They are on fire.
The electronics behind the tinfoil curtain on fire catches Shelving 2 on fire. It is on fire.
Shelving 2 on fire catches the Computers on fire. They are on fire.
The Computers on fire catch Shelving 1 on fire. It is on fire.
Shelving 1 on fire catches the Bed and Pillows on fire. They are on fire.
The Furniture and Dave's Body on fire catches The Room on fire. It is on fire.
The Room on fire catches you on fire. You are on fire.
You on fire run into the Bathroom and catch the Plant on fire. It is on fire.
You Shower water on yourself. You are no longer on fire. You are Burned Lightly and Scared.
The Room on fire catches the Bathroom on fire. It is burning.
The Bathroom on fire catches you on fire again. You are on fire.
You are on fire. You die horribly.

>>12973727
... Gee, thanks. Remind me not to survive the apocalypse.

>>12973727
...This sounds like the end of most Dorf Forts.

A fitting end to the fa/tg/uy who wished to solve his problems with murder and fire.

>>12973704

WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT PROG ROCK

>>12973704

Why should I be mad about an imaginary radio channel not playing my prefered music? I`m just pointing out your shit taste in music, you clubbing hipster faggot.

>>12973640
he gives you everything you need to survive. Sustenance, entertainment, socialization. But you greedily crave more. you want something beyond the simulation, beyond what is manageable and for that you must learn to be like Dave, to enjoy the satisfactory. The world ended because of your attitude of endless mindless consumption. This vault wasn't built just so that you could live, it was built so that you can be reeducated. It was built so that you can survive. It was built so that we can start anew.

>>12973758

IT'S SHIT.

JUST LIKE METAL.

>services Ulacdon

>>12973704
Shas, there are people who would risk a zombie apocalypse just to try and find your bunker and keep you off the radio for good.

>>12973790

Let them come. Battle stems boredom!

>181 hicapors

>>12973766
Dave is neither satisfactory nor stimulating, though.

>>12973766
>It was built so that we can start anew.
It was also built to see if you go gay with Dave. There's a substantial pool going on as to whether or not you can last five years, and another one with in the "No" set that tries to guess when.

Jenkins from Accounting, the bookie, says the average guess is that it'll be three months.

>>12973785
Neal Peart and Phil Collins will crush you, and then duel to the death over who gets to add your skull to their drumkit.

Neal will win, of course, and will craft drumsticks from Collins' bones.

>>12973790

And I would be one of those. I would put on a gas mask and brave the contagion to take the fucker down.

>>12973790
I'd risk the zombie apocalypse to keep him from writing letters, as well. Just head out of my own bunker, into his, lop off his hands, then zip back to mine again.

Shas, hope you can fap with your feet.

Proceed to mindfuck everybody by shouting KOALA BEAR in a high pitched, obnoxiously loud voice into the radio mike at random intervals. Change the tone, pitch and intonation every two hours or so.

>>12973818
>>12973821
>>12973790
Don't forget to crush his Tau minis or scatter them across the wasteland as you run away.

>>12973838
Then they'd all be after YOU from their bunkers.

>>12973838

You are aware I can turn down the radios volume?

>>12973846
Only a few of them. The other people will start to envision it as a terrifying, but pleasant surprise.

"Well, there was another KOALA BEAR yell on the radio today, Dave. Shows that time is at least passing."

Eventually there will be a cult dedicated to worshiping the Koala Bear Calls, since they apparently mean that the five years is at least advancing and each randomly timed call means that the person in each shelter isn't being "forgotten."

>>12973846
They don't know where I am. Or how many of me are there. Of there is a me.
Although I would give them some variety by announcing various shelters malfunctioning or going silent in a droning, mechanical voice.

>>12973838
Hand-lopper anon here. I'll swing by yours, steal your lips and make it an amusing time chatting with you on the radio.

Most of the dialogue you say would wind up sounding like "KOALA WEAR".
>>12973845
Not sure if I'd go that far, but I'd put a magnet into the HD with the 40K rules, to be sure.

>>12973864
Hence random intervals.

Dave and I will swear an oath of bro-fealty to each other, renouncing all other desires except to spend our five years in a penitent, impossible quest - to make 3.5 balanced.

>>12973864
Then you turn it up when you want to talk to someone, about 15 minutes in to the conversation you hear someone say "KOALA BEAR!". And you know... that just makes life more interesting.

>>12973896
UNPOSSIBLE BRO, UNPOSSIBLE

Don't worry. I'll save a round for each of you. You won't be able to shut me up that easily.

Now, on to the next song! We'll continue with a little Ludacris!

>THE coratri

>>12973896
Oh fuck that, just use a system without classes or levels.

>>12973880
Well, Church of the Koala Call doesn't sound so bad as a basis for the new society.

>>12972762
...Dave sort of looks like a beta-guy. Sort of talks like one too.

Let's say that for the five years, you somehow DON'T develop any romantic or homosexual feelings whatsoever for Dave, since he's a nice, imaginative guy whom you've accepted as a brother and new best friend. But INSTEAD he, once the airlock opens, has an unhealthy attachment to you, and won't ever, ever leave you alone.

>>12973899
That raises the important point of being able to keep track of time and what that does to
>KOALA WEAR
the human psyche.

>>12973918

I smash my radio.

KOALA

BEAR

he's behind you
he ate Dave

>>12973918
You're part of the reason I never listen to radio (IRL). However that makes you feel.

>>12973409
This is balls-tighteningly awesome

>>12973918
You better watch that door night and day. That bunker of yours looks awfully flammable.

>>12973940
Not really, since we all have a computer and a Dave.

>>12973935
And then one random group of bastards each independently decides that they need to deliver the Gospel of the Koala Bear Call over the radio, each one having his own interpretation of what it means.

Original Caller is lost as everyone else takes to randomly Calling, as it becomes some sort of obscene prayer or greeting to other shelterees on the radio.

>>12974010
You bring the trowels, I'll bring the concrete.
We'll make that fucking bunker into his tomb, complete with a customized message on the front door:
>404 forever

>>12974016

Hey, Koala Bear bunker five! How you holding up, Steve?

>>12974016
-Koala Bear!
-Koala Bear, Dave! How's it going?

Better yet if no one can remember what the fuck was a koala bear anymore and everyone makes their own interpretation.

KOALA BEAR

>>12973918
You know what's a neat little feature?
Tuning to a different frequency.

And if Dave likes listening to music all the time, I'll have to kill him. The airlock would be an ok place to store the body, just need to cover the nose when i leave, 5 years worth of rotting, pew.

>>12974055
This is Koala Bear nine. You missed. We've got a Dave and a Mitch here, no Steves here.

>>12974072

Aw, Koala Bear my friends! I must have dialled the wrong frequency! How are you, anyway?

This thread certainly took off. Congrats, you have earned the Dave Immemorium trophy, /tg/! It has been delivered to your safehouse.

>>12974097
Koala Bear! Running the newest expansion Dave and I wrote for Pathfinder, adding in new races. We have problems filling in the loot on the treasure chart to reflect the new races, so .. y'know... its all Koala Bear suddenly.

>>12974146

Well, anything we can Koala Bear you? Sometimes it just needs fresh perspective, man. We're having a Koala Bear day, anyway. Throw it at me, man!

>>12974135
yes, its in the safehouse.. right there across the room from the big heavy security door.. just head on in there

*clang*
"Oh, hey! Someone else made it to the shelter before it locked. Did anyone else make it before the seals clamed in? I guess not...

But hey, at least I'm not alone in here! The name's Dave, dude. Good to meet you. Put your stuff down, bro. I'll show you where everything is. Okay. That slot gives us our daily water and food rations for the next five years. It's programmed to run for ten, but after five the contagion will be gone. In ther door is the bathroom and shower, and in here near me are the life support systems that run the bunker. We also got a radio in case anyone made it to other ones, so we can talk to people maybe. Apart from that....


>it's a trap!
>no, the other kind of trap, where you die.

>>12974146
I hope you smurfs out there in the wasteland aren't gonna start using Koala Bear as a random replacement word. I'mma be playing something that is not D&D... seems we're all getting sane enough for Cthulhu games.

...END OF YEAR THREE, HAPPY NEW YEAR, TWO YEARS REMAINING...

Guys, KOALA BEAR, me'n'Dave are gettin' gay-hitched!

I know that it's gay, but we've been together for four years no--KOALA BEAR--w. Wish us luck, g--KOALA BEAR--uys.

I'm just so damn happy. KOALA BEAR!

>at which point everyone looked behind them at the Dave in their shelter in confusion
>Dave would simply give his usual noncomittal shrug and raise his eyebrows in confusion
>more than a few had strange, conflicting feeling when they heard that Dave was getting married to SOMEONE ELSE
>those with enough willpower left punched themselves in their genitalia at such thoughts, only earning another glance of curiosity from Dave

as you sit in the shelter you hear the moans of the zombie hoards and the screams of all those consumed by them

>>12974272
Which will then lead to more and more calls of KOALA BEAR on the radios, as each of the survivors use it as a prayer to let others, if not themselves, know that they're alive, and that they're drowning out the noise.

Oh god. Koala Bear has the absolute ability to turn into a cult in these circumstances. Turner's Communitas and everything. Any religious anthropologist or sociologist in a shelter with Dave would have a hell of a fun time documenting the evolution of it.

I'd have him shaved, showered and thoroughly raped before the first week was up. Now I have 5 great years to relax and imagine stuff while training my little fuck-slut.

And then, at one point, a bunch of paranoid /x/enophiles in their shelters with drugs started going nuts, killing their Daves, and bellowing over the radio that "Koala Bear" is a government or Nazi/Jew/Alien/etc. meme-word that is rotting their brains away and turning them into sinful slaves. Having no real way of validating who was who, and "not a plant contributing to the spread of the word," their paranoia spread, and the words KOALA BEAR became a sound of terror and subjugation.

And then the Radio War started between the Koala Bearists and the Conspiracists. With no real way of hurting the other parties, violent and amazing yelling wars went across the radio channels, sometimes for days.

When the airlocks opened, both parties promised the other that their argument would be solved in blood.

>>12973409
How'd I get into the bunker in the first place, again?

>>12974373

...after they wipe out the jackass playing rap 24/7.

>>12974373
iminterestedtellmemoar_aya.jpg
Seriously. I want more fluff.
I may run this as a small-scale scenario with some of my players, with small timejumps in between every so-and-so sessions to represent time advancing.

>>12974373
>And then the Radio War started
>>between the Koala Bearists
>>and the Conspiracists
This. Is going to be the best five years ever. Right, Dave?

>>12974340
wierd, that's what I was thinking too.
Rapemind?

>>12974438
EVERYONE thinks that about a person they'd imagine being crammed into a small living space for the next five years.
They just ignore the situationally homosexual voice in their heads and hope the other person is doing the same.

Good thing Dave isn't a person; Dave is Dave.

rolled 24 = 24

Dave's not gonna survive unless he gets me first. Five years is a long time, but hey, I'll give him a shot. (dont want the bunker cracked open after 3 days with a "Hey, false alarOH MY GOD")

Anyone who thinks that 5 years is going to pass happily with two dudes in a cage stranded from outside contact... has a pretty rosy idea of human interactions.

"I know you're there and I know you're tuned in, because, let's face it, we don't have anything better to do.
You are alive.
You are not forgotten.
And you will not be.
Tell me about yourselves. Tell me about the people you lost. Every single one of them.
I have two tera of free space here.
I will record and type down everything you say.
I will remember when you forget, and the archive will remember when I can't anymore.
This is Shelter 32, signing off.
Koala Bear."

>>12974373
>the Radio War
good god

you've recreated religion, and already they have factions at each of their throats

why can't we all get along with each other?

>>12974489
Now THIS will be a trolling gold mine.
Pretend to be a newly dead guy marvelling at the afterlife being a small, confined space shared with David, the guardian angel.

>>12974489
Dave, you and me, with our snickers rum, will stay out of this... and pick up the pieces when it is over.

>>12974476
"AAAAH AAAAAH I CAN'T HEAR YOU MONSTER SPOOK JEWNAZI AAAAAAH AAAAAAH"
"YOU'RE NOT GETTING IN MY HEAD!"
"The bear can't get me, the bear can't get me, the bear can't get m--"
>KOALA BEAR!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! DAVE, DAVE, MAKE THEM STOP!"

Strange thing is, everyone who takes the Companion Cube envisions it as a blonde, thin man called Dave.

>>12974558
...Wait, what? Why are you talking about Portal, Koala Bear? I for one do not envision as the faithful Weighted Companion Cube as anything other than the perfection he is.

>>12974519
>in b4 snickers rum becomes the cultural beverage of choice for the 5-year survivors

>>12974558
I miss that cube....

Bad news about Dave, guys...

>>12974593
He's actually a tall, broad-shouldered and man-faced girl?

I knew there was always the possibility.

>>12974593

best do sum slainin' cause I dont see what your implying

>>12974621

Check the flesh-coloured thing in teh circle.

>>12974593
he owns a jumprope?

>>12974653

At that resilution it could be something else, not likely but could.

Dave seems pretty cool, I think I could take 5 years in there. It'd be nice if we had one or two more people though, it'd be a lot more interesting that way.

>>12974593
No that's mine. I didn't have anywhere else to put it and that seemed as good as any other spot.

Uhm, just to state that, I have a wireless internet stick that works over satelite. So as long as those Laptops have USB, we got internet. Time to look for some chatrooms, and can I bring my own laptop? that way we can camerachat, conversation is probably keeping me sane

>>12974653

That doesn't look anything like a dildo, if that's what you're trying to say. Paranoid faggot.

Why is Dave not up on sup/tg/?

>>12974723
you sir have not seen many dildos then

>Hotbude yes
If only dave was hot captcha, if only, then we would make sweet love over the radio

Dave seems pretty cool. He didn't say anything about his weeabo habits. So long as he doesn't touch me, I think I can survive. What sort've food we talkin'?

>>12974713
That's assuming that every part of the service keeps working without anyone tending to it, and that someone else has one of those.

>>12974778

Well it has Snickers bars at the very least, earlier we were contemplating the possibility of fermenting Snickers Rum. Can't be too bad.

Sould Dave be put in the archives? It will probably be there five years or so...

>>12974883
just go save it to the archive already

Honestly, I'm most concerned with 3 things:

1. Seems like no room for vigorous exercise. Claustrophobia and atrophy are going to set in big-time in 5 years. If it's avoided, agoraphobia on release will be heinous.

2. Dave freaking out, or wanting the gay. I'm pretty confident in my mental fortitude, but it'll be very difficult to deal with emotions and tensions in such an environment when expectations are different.

3. On a larger scale- I hope there is contraception- redundant condom and pill- for those who are stuck in mixed gender isolation, because otherwise lots of survivors are going to die form birthing complications. Potential survivor babies are mostly going to be messed up as well.

Thread has been sealed in the Archives from this point on.

>>12975065

Imagine sharing your bunker with a girl who looks decent but absolutely LOATHES you.

It couldnt end well

Also, after a year or two you could theoretically open the door and have small trips to the outside

>>12975065
well that certainly would be easier than having to always resort to oral and anal for us

>>12975123
Meh, basic instinct in that enclosed space means some point in those 5 years you get it on.

>>12974703

I don't think I'd want more than 2... 3 or 4 and the ability to control and keep calm goes down quickly. Shit hits the fan much sooner with the dramatically increased complexity of 4 over 2.

I dunno, so hard to gauge. 4 would be hellish in that tiny a space though, truly hellish.

>>12975146

5 years of arguements, whining, passive-agresive attacks and maybe destroying your laptop out of spite

>>12975146
i'd probably break in the first month assuming I didn't bring anything to keep me distracted or the shower head wasn't moveable

Could I, yes. he probbaly won't be my friend after about a week, but I could tell him to shut up if he's too much. After a breaking in period, start working with him to develop a plan to fix shit when we get out. Eccentric people tend to be annoying as fuck, until they finally understand how to interact, then they are crazy useful.

>>12973113
PMC-Fag, he'd show me how to be a man and shoot stuff. I miss him. Or his friend butler-fag, Jeeves would iron my pants.

Can I troll the other refugees into committing suicide over the radio? I think that could make for an enjoyable and productive 5 years. Or at least a few months.

Might have to eat Dave though...

try my hardest to take on the mindset of a Buddhist monk based on the five times I have learned about Buddhism in various classes, two of them being Religious studies.

>>12973356

You make your own from the sugar in your drink packets and all the sweet water you can drink.

As for dealing with dave, I'd deal. People are pack animals and go rather permanetly loopy without human feedback (documented lol). I'd probably have to lay out a really cheesy method to ensure communication even when we are cheese out at each other (like a meeting stick or something) to prevent eventually muder and then insanity, but yeah I'd deal and no homo either.

But that's just me, I'm sure the incident of "men who have sex with dave " will be statistically high but yeah, I have no worries about it.

>>12975262
still gonna have to deal with the smell

people talk about killing their Daves...

bah.

I would treasure my Dave, not as a lover, but as an investment!

Just think, there will likely only ever be one production run of Dave clones. And post vault life, the Daves will have been an integral part of the surviving population popular culture.

And with the high incidence of murder and anal prolapse related Dave death, that means that any Daves that survive the 5 years of vault life will be worth more than their weight in gold on account of rarity.

Dave to me would be a man shaped, talking pile of invested money. I would do my best to maintain him and keep him healthy so that I can auction him off at the end of 5 years, and become filthy stinking rich.

Man, Dave seems like a bro. the apocalypse is going to be alllll right.

He looks kind of like my ex boyfriend (inb4gay), except uglier in pretty much every way. I'm sure I can warp my mind a bit and make that work. If I can't I'd probably go crazy.

Him? Pfft. He'll go insane, unless he really wants to be the little girl. XD

Like everyone else, fuck Dave.

Probably vary things a little. Agree not to look at each other for a couple weeks to grow facial hair/shave it off. Learn to program. Make a game, probably turn-based, that can be played over the radios. If there are environment suits, put together some internet; leave Wi-Fi sticks in all the airlocks I can find. Also, see what happens when you put two Daves in an shelter with each other.

Other than that, chill, mourn family and pets.

>>12973409
I love /tg/ so much

I have human contact
And I have more than enough games
If I were to become insane than damn nigga I be a mega pussy

tell him to get a fucking haircut, i hate hippies

my name is also dave.

Fuck, this will get confusing.

>>12978565

"Hello Dave. I, too, am Dave. We are all Dave."
"Neat."

>>12978590
WE HAVE BECOME ONE.

"Oh, hey! Someone else made it to the shelter before it locked. Did anyone else make it before the seals clamed in? I guess not...

But hey, at least I'm not alone in here! The name's Dave, dude."


"Gary? Gary. GARY GARY GARY GARY AAAAAAGH"

I see two possible outcomes.

Scenario 1) Dave becomes my personal science project. I begin with social experiments dealing specifically with altering thought processes. Dave clearly knows nothing of these experiments as it would corrupt the data. When his mind is destroyed I begin finding ways to connect it to the computer. Hopefully by the time the 5 years is up I'll have developed a direct human interface device for computers. But in five years the most I'll probably accomplish is the destruction of Dave's mind.

Scenario 2) For the first 2 years Dave and I carefully ration the dispensed food/soap/consumables building up a stock pile. I figure since they gave us a computer they also gave us spare parts in preparation for the inevitable. When we've rationed out about a year's worth of supplies the work begins. We begin studying the dispenser to discover how it works, find a way to connect the computer to it and attempt to alter it. How we alter it depends on how it works. If it simply contains a storage unit carrying a limited capacity if nutrient rich gruel (or some other form of limited food supply i.e. materials for making various meals), then we bust it open and used the dispenser to build small simple robots that we use to fight. If it is more advanced than that, say a star trek replicator, then we attempt to alter the process in hopes of making more gourmet meals, move onto synthetic materials such as plastics and eventually attempt to replicate a human. In reality we will break it, attempt to fix it and I will have to kill Dave for his share of the remaining food supply including his body.

Either way, Dave will not survive.

I bet this is a scenario like Moon. Dave is really a robot.

Sam Bell: Are you OK with that?
Dave: I'm here to keep you safe, Sam. I want to help you.
Sam Bell: Dave, am I a clone?
Dave: Are you hungry?

It's five years.

SUCK IT UP

Insanity? Perhaps because of the enclosed conditions, but as for Dave, there are few human beings that are that truly insufferable when they know all they have for company is YOU.

And as for sex, why? Five years, yeah, that sucks. But if people can get by surrounded by gorgeous people, for even longer, than you can suck it the fuck up.

Think not on the time in the bunker, think on the time after. Prepare for that, hold that in your mind, and bam, good to go.

And an aside, if you DID kill your Dave. How would you dispose of the body? A decomposing corpse would make the area unlivable, and potentially deadly. Do you risk exposure to whats outside by opening the door? Or do you lock the bathroom and pretend not to smell it?

If he is really that bad, put up one of the blankets as a makeshift wall for private areas int he main living space!

(Sorry long... late and should sleep... but... someone is wrong. On the internet!)

I'm fine without sex, I love small spaces, don't like getting drunk (more snickers rum for dave) and I have a very active imagination that can keep me entertained for hours at a time, especially after reading things like RPG Fluff.

I think me and Dave will get along just fine, assuming he doesn't go gay on me. We could probably make some great RPGs

So what if he's a clone? Clones are people too. Besides, if we ever get on each other's nerves, we can check up on the radio.