>talking to cute cleric with button nose and blue eyes
>some fucking Bro of a ranger butts in
>"Hey babe wanna talk to a REAL hero?"
>OTTO'S IRRESISTIBLE DANCE

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena
Heeeeey Macarena
AAAhAA!

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena
Heeeeey MACARANA!

ALPHA AS FUCK

>playing the vidya
>look out the window seeing my little bro being bullied
>pause game go to my room and get a few things
>black tank top, shades, foam baseball bat
>walk out heading straight toward them as they grow more and more silent
>"hey you little cunts that my brother your picking on and i don't think you want to continue"

>they look paralyzed with fear as i lower my shades just a pick to give them a piercing glare "do i make myself fucking clear?"
"they nod and quickly run off back home
alpha as fuck part 1

LARPing. as an orc. pic related.

like tabletop roleplaying, the LARPing has its alphas and omegas.

It is incredibly fun, as an orc, the defealt punching bags of all the other races, to simply walk up to someone who appears to be doing the 'i am a tough guy' routine and just intimidate them down again...

i usually dont even have to say anything.

the best part:

if they do attack - they usually do so in a large group. Hell, one time I was casually walking past the human town and their entire army (50 or so players) came out to take me, just me, down.

when they pull I take my suck beating like a man - but the best part of it is I get to ridicule them in the process: Pointing out how weak they must be if they need that many to take out one orc.

It feels so incredibly good man.

>captcha

exercises offrib

YESSIR!

>>13058816
>20 minutes later i hear a knock on the door, peak out the window to see the kids with there parents
>quickly i change into a white button up and put on my reading glasses
>"can I help you?"
>"yeah our kids said you were threatening them with a baseball bat"
>father is so alpha that hes sweating gatorade
>no no i dont think you understand at all sir. You see I went outside to play baseball with my brother and these two were picking on him, I lectured them and they went home, the bat i brought out couldn't hurt a small animal even if i knew how"
>"hes lying dad! hes lying! he should get his brother to beat him with it then"
>i shrug and walk out onto the grass as my brother beats me with the harmless foam bat, each swing the parents glare less and less at me and more and more at there kids
>"okay I've seen enough sorry for your time and sorry about your brother"
>i smile and wave them off. at the last second the kids look back and i glare and smile
ALPHA AS FUCK
also my face as they look back

>>calmly get up from the table and walk straight over to him, reaching for the deck
You know, it took me three readings to realize that this said deck, not dick.

First thought;
> Why are these kids running around with their dicks out, slapping them together?

>>13058974

you magnificent bastard

>Infiltrate Space Wolf campaign
>Say the right things to the right three people at the right time
>Campaign cleans out nurgle dens, leaves planet ripe for tzeentch takeover
>Alpha as fuck

I remember back when I was in junior high, when the Pokemon card game was just coming out. I must have been in sixth grade. I was one of the more skilled people in our Pokemon League.

>Helping this little kid who wanted to be better learn the game.
>Some jackass alpha and his buddies come up and try to make fun of the kid and I.
>He starts making small remarks, making fun mostly of the kid.
>I speak up, "Dude, if you're gunna sit there and just make fun of us, you're not fucking wanted."
>"Huh?"
>"You heard me. I don't go to your basketball games and make fun of how much you suck."
>The little kid idolizes me for sticking up for him.

Honestly, from the way the kid acted, I think that was the first time anybody had put their neck out for him like that. Fuck what I taught him about the pokemon CCG. I did a lot for that kid just showing him to be proud of his hobbies, despite what other people thought of them.

>6th grade
>Having conversation with smaller friend about Roblox, our hobby at the time
>Two big football guys walk up and start making fun of us and shit
>Friend just stays silent and looks down
>Stand up and smash the two idiots heads together
>"If you ever start doing shit like that again I won't stop there."
>Never get tattled out, never worry about being made fun of again
>Smaller friend learned self-confidence from me

Improving the world, one head-smash at a time.

>>13059284
>>13059189

*double bro-fist to the both of you*

ITT: people get made fun of by dudebros for their /tg/ hobbies and stand up for themselves.
yay.

>Get picked on
>Had enough of shit
>Break kid's nose
>BEST FRIENDS FOREVAR

I dare you to beat this. I dare you.

>Eighth grade
>Was always quiet, never had all that many friends
>Tall kid wants to fight me just for that reason
>"Alright."
>Meet him in the parking lot
>He flails his arms awkwardly at me, I just kinda watch
>"C'mon! Hit me!"
>He leans his head in for a free shot
>I rear back
>Headbutt
>Tall kid falls to the ground clutching his face and crying
>I walk home without a word

Only got into one other fight during my childhood, which, quite frankly, doesn't stack up to this one at all.

>>13059448
wow thats how my dad met his best friend

>play vidyja every day
>wear black trench coats
>get bro who wears trench coats
>kids hate on us
>shoot the fuck out of every one
>an hero like a boss

ALPHA AS FUCK

>Knew this guy, he was and arrogant dick, but he was rather overweight and neckbeardly looking.
>Got picked on all day erryday in highschool.
>Eventually the bullies forced a physical confrontation.
>Nerd rage ho!
>Hits first
>Right in the face of the first guy, breaks his nose
>picks up the other guy and throws him into a plaster wall, which got significantly fucked up.

>>13059820
And lo the true power of neckbearzerkers is shown.

ITT: ALPHA AS FUCK

>>13059837
I don't know what it is about being a nerd that we all harbor an inner Brock Samson.

>Hanging out at the park with a friend, about 10 or 11 years old
>A couple kids we don't know walk up with what I assume now was costume jewelry or some kind of prop jewel
>They say there's more up in the woods on the hill
>We follow them up there because I like treasure
>After twenty minutes, no treasure, just kind of walking around
>I say "This is boring"
>They start calling us names
>Gesture to friend, we walk down the hill out of the woods, start walking across the field
>Suddenly feel a tug on my shirt, and one of the kids jumps on my back, trying to pull me onto the ground
>Lean back a little, then flip him forward onto the ground, stomp on his solar plexus
>Turn to his friend
>My face
>His friend runs away

>Look at my friend with normal face
>Ice cream truck jingle out in the road
>We giggle like children and chase it, leaving the kid crying and trying to catch his breath

Man, I don't have any especially ALPHA AS FUCK moments. I was one of the guys who picked on other people in high school, despite being a nerd. Other nerds flocked around me for immunity.

I was also on the wrestling team, though I sucked at it. So that probably helped things. I was also pretty big in high school, so that probably helped it.

After that, I was an adult, and have not encountered childish problems as an adult yet. So no ALPHA AS FUCK stories.

>Movie theater, friend's birthday
>friend did something to piss a guy off
>he's talking shit to us as we walk to our cinema
>tell him to feck off
>he lightly slaps me
>turn around and deck his face
>he flips his shit and goes Dragon Ball Z on me
>manage to get only three punches in before crowd intervenes
>turns out security was looking for an excuse to kick him from the theater
>get free drink/popcorn replacements
>he's leaving with a bloodied nose, I'm perfectly fine aside from a lightly bruised eyebrow
>flips me off as he's escorted out
>mfw

>Walking to a local shop for lunch hour at work.
>Bump into someone accidently, knock his book out of his hand.
>He look at me.
>I look at him.
"Oh shit, sorry about that."
"Don't worry about it."
>Picks up book and keeps walking.

FUCK YEAH! I AM THE MANLIEST MOTHERFUCKER OF THEM ALL.

I'm kind of short, really skinny, but exude confidence. I feel ALPHA AS FUCK when some behemoth and I are walking towards each other and I refuse to step out of the way and he moves the fuck to the other side of sidewalk/hallway.

>My face when I don't need to be alpha, as I realized that if I cultivated a certain image, middle school and high school children would find me unsettling

Long, messy hair, started growing facial hair when I was in 7th grade. Wore shitty clothes, listened to Death/Black metal and pretended I was a satanist.

Beta as fuck and nobody ever bothered me.

I barely remember it, but I beat up somebody who was probably 50% taller and more heavily built than me.
I think I was around twelve or something.
All I remember is:
>Got sent to the principal's office.
>Other kid was there first
>He was being lectured about not starting fights with smaller children.
>Still filled with adrenaline, I interupted the principal with some insult, and called attention to the other kid's eyes and that I made him cry.
>Get suspended.
>Don't give a fuck.

Unfortunately(or fortunately), that's the only incident I've been in.

>>13055912
>beta as fuck till 8th grade
>8th grade home coming game
>hot shot black nigger kid comes up and starts talking shit to my best bro
>he walks over and says "YEAH AN U AINT GONNA DO NOTING U LITTLE BITCH HUEHUEHUE" and slaps my friend in the face
>adrenilan spike
>tunnel vision
>HULK OUT
>beat the kid bloody, made his face look like jelly
>his parents try to sue my parents and get me kicked out of school
>police officer watching the whole thing backs me up and says I defended myself and friend
>black kid gets 2 months OSS for fighting and having a knife
Turned out he had a knife in his pocket and reached for it. I dont remember it but apparently I broke his hand up good when he pulled it out.

Ever since that day I became way more confident and sure of myself. Its like I got pushed over the edge so fast and so hard I climbed up the side of the opposite cliff back to solid ground

>High School
>Lunch Line
>Kid's being a dick. He's been a dick to me for the past few years
>Grab lunch
>"Hey faggot, that's what I wanted."
>Continue on and buy said food
>Kid knocks my food out of my hands, shit's ALL over the floor
>"Hey fag, pick that up.
>"Come at me bro" (more or less)
>Book it to nearest teacher's line of site
>He gets on top of me
>Yell out "HELP, I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE RAPED"
>Teachers fucking CHARGE the kid
>Kid is suspended for 10 days
>I get to stay for the next lunch period and get a free lunch replacement

>kid steals my charizard card
>start a ruckus with them to the point that the teacher confiscates the card
>get it back at the end of the day
>walking down the street to go home
>him: "U betta give me dat card boy..."
>me: "no fuck you nigger"
>get my ass beat and they take my card again

oh well i tried.

>>13060180
That card was serious money back in the day.

I wouldn't beat your ass, but I'd definitely rip you off.

>walking down the street at night
>GANGSTAAA jumps out
>"GIMME YO MONEH"
>"Why whould I?"
>"DIS IS WHA"
>He lifts his shirt waaay up past his head to show me a gun tucked into his pants, pointing at it with the other hand shoulder level
>Gets real close to me like that "SO WHAT YA GUNNA DO"
>Reach down and pull the trigger
>He howls and drops down immediatly.
>Just keep walking as he sobs on the ground holding his crotch.

YOU SEE THIS? THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T STICK THE GUN IN YOUR PANTS YOU GOD DAMN IDIOTS

None of you are going to be as Alpha as shades.

>>13060193
I lol'd

Back in 8th grade there was this kid who despite being an acquaintance would pick on me and tons of other people in the class. He's been teasing and bothering me at recess for a while so i'm quite annoyed with him. During class I go for a bathroom break, come back and just as I was about to sit down he pulled the chair out from under me, so I fell on my ass. A couple laughs came from the class, all I did was get up, wipe off my pants, grab his neck and slam him down on the same chair he pulled out from under me, Cheers from the class, crying kid, and a broken chair.

Felt good man.

>7 years old
>This other kid is being a prick. Call him out on his assholeness.
>He flips shit, calls me a "sissy."
>Shit gets real
>I deck him in the face
>We wrestle and fight for like, 8 minutes while the teacher is gone.
>We kick the shit out of each other, bloody, bruised.
>Teacher comes back, flips shit.
>We both get epic all day time-outs with each other
>Become bros

We still argue over who won that fight.

> I am nerdy but also big; so I assume this happened cause the guy wanted to show he was a "big dog".
>Sitting at the computer, doing my school work, eating an apple...
>This is windows 3.1, so three finger salute does an instant reset.
>Guy walks up behind me and tries to reset computer, hits wrong keys though.
>I see red, snap, stand up, stare him straight in the face and yell, FUCK OFF.
>He didn't like this, and took about 5 swings at me, I block them all with one hand, and go past mad to some calm island of fury.
>Drop apple, step backward into stance, 4 quick light snap punches to the face with the leading arm, thinking back to my instructor's advice that blows to the face give me space and time to line up a real blow.
>I can remember debating in my mind between doing a side kick to drive him into a fire extiguisher on the wall, or a full force roundhouse at chest height.
>At about this point, 3 seconds into the fight, I notice he's not fighting anymore, he's staggering backward clutching his face.
>I had broken his nose with what I had considered a stalling move.

That was good, but simply backstory for the REAL alpha moment.

>Over a year passes, and I'm walking through a parking lot.
>He and his friends have tried to corner me as a group a few times over the years, I'd just dodge them.
>He walks up unknoticed alone and threatens me with a metal bar.
>He demands an apology.
>I calmly tell him that "I didn't want to see you hurt then or now, but it was your own fault for throwwing the first punch. I refuse to accept responsibility though I'm sorry you ended hurt."
>His anger just seems to shrivel up to dust and blow away, and we agree the matter is settled.

I have never before or since seen someone look so intimidated.

>Walking home from school
>Black kid jumps out from behind the bushes
>Waves knife at me, "Gimmie yo wallet"
>Punch him square in the throat
>Walk home
>Open the door
>Get on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur

>>13060193

Is this for real? Please tell me this is real

>6th grade
>Some Mexican asshat takes my place in line
>"get back in line you chink!"
>I lose it. yank the heavy hardcover yearbook out of his hands and slam it bridge first into his nose.
>On the ground crying.
>Whip out my pencil from my breast pocket protector and proceed to stab his neck.
>suspended for 3 days
>feelsgoodman.jpg

>7th grade
>slightly smaller guy and tall guy pick on me all year around last month of the school year smaller guy starts fight after science class, he's trying to kick and punch me doesn't lay a hand on me. I eventually get to my class drop off my backpack and come out grab his neck and slam him to the brick wall he does the same to me, I look back at him with a glare of he's fucking dead I push him to the ground then his friends come; 6 of them. I stare them all down. Got in trouble for defending myself. Nobody fucked with at that school again.

>>13060368
>with me.....goddamn spelling errors

>8th grade, shown up at a new town, and finish up the last 2 weeks of 8th grade there
>Walking home with a new buddy, nice black kid.
>Fatty a year lower then us started talking shit to him walking behind us
>Laugh this joker off, he cant be se-
>N-word.
>Seriously? Oh, and he has a tree branch too to strike my friend.
>Shit dont fly with me.
>Snatch the tree branch as the fat kid completely doesnt expect it, snap it and toss away the piece
>He's trying to get in my face now, punch him in the gut and shove him away
>Lets go home

Kid tried to start a fight with me next few days, the childish 'fight, fight, fight' with a circle of kids? ignored him for the first few days, but eventually whooped him.

>>13060291
I've fucking noticed this. Every person I've ever gotten into a fist fight with ended up becoming a true bro.

It's like the only way to get to know somebody is by fighting them and eating with them.

I'll bite.

>kindergarten
>some high-schooler picks on me constantly on the bus, despite bus driver threatening him
>one day, had enough shit, stand up like i'm gonna do something
>he stands up all tough like, big bad 9th grader gonna whoop up on a 5-year old
>"whatchu gonna do kid?"
>kick him square in the balls when he squats to get in my face
>he doubles over, starts yelling for the bus driver
>bus driver laughing his ass off
>i sit back down, high fives from like everyone on the bus
>ALPHA AS FUCK.

>>13060341
I can't name names man, but it is what happened. Some of the quiet ones have tempers. Honestly, when he pulled out the bar all I felt was mix of anger and disgust and I think it showed.

I was too close to avoid him, and so I was a hairsbreath from jumping him if he moved the wrong way. Mind was going "step inside the swing to rob the power" even as I told him I had no beef with him.

>>13060439
Thats because you dont truly know someone until a moment of a fight. Thats when you get to see what someone is so to speak.

You come away friends more times then not.

>>13060439
It can also go the opposite way. In which case you think you know someone and it turns out they're garbage and then you kick the crap out of them for a last hurrah. Did that to a "good" friend of many years in middle school. I broke his nose and two fingers. The next day I was out for a dentists appointment, completely unharmed, and came back during lunch to him telling everybody he'd put me in a coma.
I then put him on the ground, more or less unconcious, with a single head butt.
And then he did the exact same thing two weeks later (the fight and then claiming he'd put him in the hospital) with another of my friends, a large boy who at the time, the age of twelve, was built like a professional linebacker. Suffice to say, the poor bastard got another whooping from that.
Shit, I realize I have all sorts of pointless violence in my school career.
Also ended up fighting some Mexican thug in the school bathrooms because he thought I was a Nazi when I was dressed in a Soviet Uniform for a history project.

>>13055912

That's not alpha... it's quite gay actually.

>>13060448
DUDE ARE YOU ME?

>Kindergarden
>on bus coming home
>2 shit bucket 5th graders are there
>live together but stepbrothers. Moms an alcoholic slut and their dad beats them
>they take out their frustration on fucking kindergarden kids what the shit man?
>one day my cousin who was living with us at the time has enough he was a 7th grader at the Middle school
>catches them down the road from their house one day apparently killing frogs
>beats the shit out of them tells them to leave me alone or he will be back and how he knew where they lived
DON YOU ARE MY HERO BRO! WE ARE COUSINS IN BLOOD BUT BROTHERS IN HEART!

>8th grade
>Spend a week making a kickass rocket for Science.
>Get on bus. Bus driver steps on the fucking gas before I get three steps.
>Fall, breaking my beautiful rocket.
>Shout "You stupid motherfucker, you broke my fucking rocket! What the fuck is your problem??"
>He mad. Get to, he grabs me by the coat and tries to haul me to the principal.
>"I know the fucking way, thank you."
>He starts flipping out at me to the principal, saying it was verbal assault and I'm disrespectful.
>"I don't fucking care. I spent a week on that rocket, and you didn't wait till I sat down before you stepped on the fucking gas. It's your goddamn fault."
>Principal flips his shit at my "disrespectful, foul-mouthed attitude."
>Suspended for 2 days.

Pic related: My dad's face when he hears the story.

>>13060514
The greatest victory is the battle not fought. This isn't the battles you're unwilling to fight though, those are losses. The greatest victory is when you make a worthy oponent back down before the first blow.

There is really no feeling like it.

>>13060193
...That's why there's also a safety--and it isn't that hard to switch the god damn thing off.

It's like I've heard from one of my old teachers.

Men don't normally want to fight. It's mostly all talk between two acquaintances. At the end, they normally kiss, make up, and resume/start a frienship.

Women are out for blood. Once the claws are out, someone is going to die.

>High school
>See some little shits playing some gay card game called magic
>Fuck up their game by throwing their cards all over the place
>One of them tries to be a man and punch me but swings like a little girl.
>I deck him back and the rest of his friends run away like a bunch of fags.

ALPHA AS FUCK

>throppin persons

Even captcha thought that was cool

>>13060624
One of my old teachers said something along those lines, yeah. Like, he told us "Guys, if you want to fight, I'll just break it up. But girls? Please, never fight. I've seen you. You go out for blood, and your nails are SHARP."

>>13060608

Yeah anyone walking around with the safety off deserves everything they get.

I had a neighbour who was a farmer a long time ago, friend of my dad, who every morning would walk from his house to the top of his fields and fire his shot gun at some targets in the middle to scare off the crows and practice his aim. He did this pretty much every morning for years and he always would walk down that garden path with the shotgun open (it was a breech loaded double barrel) so he it wouldn't fire until he wanted it to.

Then, the one time he didn't walk up with it open he got caught on the bramble bush that bordered his garden and field. Without even looking, thinking it was just his coat getting snagged, he pulled his arm away to free it.

As he did so he fired one of the shells into his thigh.

So he stumbled back up the garden path and called an ambulance. Had to have like a hundred pellets pulled out of his leg but no permanent damage.

He never made that mistake again.

>>13060657
I realize as an amazingly alpha person that you're very busy, so you obviously simply didn't have time to read the title.

This thread is about surprisingly alpha moments, moments of unanticipated abadassery from otherwise non-alpha people.

A school thug acting alpha is not surprising, after all: most gorillas use intimidation and displays of physical power to display their dominance.

>5th grade
>Sitting at lunch eating my homemade sandwich
>three kids sit on the other side of the table and start trying to steal my shit, calling my a "fatty that doesn't need to eat anything else"
>Slowly take the top off my thermas and throw the Gatorade all over the boss of the trio's shirt.
>Slowly pack up rest of lunch as the kid freaks out about his awesome power rangers shirt getting wet
>walk out to the playground, I want to enjoy my recess despite the incident
>Leader dude follows me out and pushes me from behind
>Turn around and UNLEASH THE BEAST
>Guy is about a head taller than me, dive for his chest and tackle him to the ground
>"The ground" happens to be a hill that was behind him, we start tumbling down the hill as I throw punches into his gut over and over, knowing that they won't check under his shirt for bruises
>Teacher breaks up the fight and yells at us
>I have scratches on my arm from roughhousing with my dog the day before, teacher blames on other kid
>Other kid has no visible wounds so it looks like I was just defending myself
>Both get a 1 day suspension for getting into a fight
>For the rest of 5th grade and all the way up into 8th he was nicknamed Girlyman because everybody heard how we got into a fight and he scratched my arms

>>13060750
That should read "badassery", I'm afraid I suffer from a hair of "lisdexia", if you'll pardon the turn of phrase.

>>13060657
>>13060750

Dude, he be trollin
It's kind of obvious

>gateby collective
Thank you captcha, nowI know what my next Big Bad Evil Organization is going to be called!

>Near the front of the bus
>Heavy-browed troglodyte gets on, simpering to his buddies at the back
>Bus gets to school
>Stand up to get off
>Troglodyte stops and looks at me, calls me a fag
>Stiffhand him upside the head
>He staggers off the bus
>Most I hear from him are feeble insults about my sneakers

Meh. He turned out to be an okay guy later on, just incedibly dimwitted. Apparently he got his ass kicked by a tomboy several times over the years.

>year 9
>In gym (For the record gym was never a big deal for me, im not fit but im not unhealthy either)
>Had a shit day so far
>getting ready when some asshole who'd been making my life hell for the past few years comes up to try and bother me more
>Constantly saying stupid annoying shit, ignore him
>faggot pushes me, rage boils over from the awful day ive had, turn around and punch the asshole in the nose in the middle of the change room
>Falls onto his ass, most shocked look on his face ive ever seen.
>starts crying like 5 seconds later before running out
>Everybody starts laughing
>Later on in the same gym class, the asshole comes up to me with one of his friends
>Says because i made a fool of him, he is allowed to punch me
>Look him dead in the eyes and say 'try it'
>Never bothers me ever again throughout the rest of school, losses alot of respect for crying like a bitch after one punch

After this day i essentially manned up, stopped having any problems with people bullying me, and even went as far to beat up the same little shitball again when he started picking on a friend of mine smaller than me.

Im still extremely socially awkward though ;_;

>>13060790

Not alpha on my part, but awesome nonetheless.

>6th grade
>week after sept 11th
>of afghan descent
>after school black kid starts screaming at me for being an "arabian motherfucker fucker terrorist," along with other shit.
>charges me, I dodge pushing him outta the way
>charges again, livid
>the most white trash kid in school with the buck teeth and everything runs up with a punch to the face, knocks him to the ground.
>bros

>>13060819

That is pretty cool

>>13055912

Suprisingly I had a moment quite similar to OPs.

>11th grade
>I`m a big guy, but really chill at the time, slow to get angry and generally with a high tolerance for alot of shit
>there was a room at our school that was intended for people doing their homework, but it was mostly used by nerdy types to hang out and play cards
>chilling out with some bros
>THAT GUY arrives, asshole with no respect for anyone or anything, kinda like some IRL /b/-tard
>people tolerate him because his shenanigans are sometimes funny, but nobody really likes him
>he sits down with 8th grader to play some Magic
>the kid is about to win
>that guy stands up, puts on his trollface and swipe the kids deck from the table
>kid looks like he is about to cry
>I get up, walk over casually and give THAT GUY a shove, sending him flying into some chairs and a table
>I tell him camly that if I ever again see him touching other peoples stuff I`m going to beat his ass and throw him out of this room, permanently
>high fives from everyone

>>13060800
Somebody needs to shoop the gnome's face over Lebowski's wife from The Big Lebowski.

Text: "I'll slap your shit for a thousand bucks."

Is it Alpha to *poison* your home lunches to stop thefts from your locker? Nothing serious, just a large, large, large amount of Alum, laxatives, and other horrible things. It apparently worked at least.

>playing freedom with neighborhood kids, 12 or 13
>nigger niggers all over the place
>call him out on being a nigger
>pushes me
>deck him in the face, despite the fact that I was still wearing thick cloth gloves
>he flails helplessly
>continue to pummel him
>cop pulls around the corner, shines spot on us
>Nigger stops
>cold cock him again for the lulz while the cop is talking
>five years later, beat up his older brother

My neighborhood was like trollface in city form.

>>13060856

WARRIOR OF JUSTICE!

>>13060819
Faith in Humanity +1.

>Meet girl over facebook, apparntly friend of somebody i know
>talk to her heeps for a few months, end up hanging out a couple of times
>Almost entirely sure she likes me
>History lesson: Im awful with women, 19 and haven't had a real girlfriend, socially awkward
>Invite her over, third time hanging out
>I dress like hitler for the hell of it
>watch a bunch of adventure time, six string samurai, etc
>After dicking around and drawing on each other faces, go to the bathroom to wash it off
>Penis kicks in and says 'fuck it', Start kissing her with soap on my lips
>kisses me back
>make out for the next 3 hours

Been going out with her for a month now, not being lonely is great. So remember kids, if you ever want a girlfriend just dress up as hitler and rub liquid soap over your lips. Bitches love hitler and liquid soap.

>>13060942

>>13060942

You kinda look like the guy from 28 days later.

>>13060988

It should be mentioned that i never consistently look like anything.

Ill show you two examples

Smallest kid in the third grade and 6th grade bully starts fight on the bus because he wants my seat. Grab the seats to the side of me and swing both legs up and kick him in the face. Bus driver breaks it up. We got off at the same stop. He gathers four friends, chase me down, and beat the crap out of me. I have footprints all over from them jumping on me.

But I know where he lives and that he always walks in through his back yards. Two days later, I get off one stop earlier, and run as fast as I can to where he lives, take of my belt, and climb a tree in his back yard. Bully comes home and I jump down from a low tree branch directly on top of him. Then proceed to whip him in the face with my belt buckle, cutting it open, and finish with a kick straight to his face. I leave him crying, and tell him the next time he messes with me I will kill him. Apparently, nobody know the true rage of a nerdy third grader. Next day he tries telling the school principle. Nothing happens, because he's a 6th grade bully and I'm a 3rd grade honor student half his size.

Get older, learn martial arts, make varsity wrestling, regularly beat down bullies who pick on my younger siblings and less violent nerdy friends. Join army, fight in two wars, and use money to pay for college. Live large enjoying dream job and laugh when I find said bully was sentenced to a third prison sentence, this time for armed robbery. Turns out getting the crap kicked out of me multiple times in elementary school made me tough enough for whatever life would throw at me, and bullying people smaller than you doesn't give you any useful life skills. Go figure.

>>13061001

My hair has no one style, no one lenght and apparntly sometimes no one color. My hair is the Hannibal Smith of hairs.

>good at school
>help jocks with homework
>never get picked on

>>13061033

>helped jocks with homework

Thats beta you know, this thread is about alpha moments.

>>13061016
>>13061001
How didn't you get with a girl sooner, dude? You have that 2000's alternative rock band aesthetic going on.

>short kid with "funny" last name
>fought on a monthly basis in elementary
>high school give the jocks wrong answers
>pick on them and shove them around
>all this rage due to nobody playing RPGs ever


I just wanted to be a barbarian :c

>Go to school
>Everyone kind of a dick to me as I am new kid
>Be a bro to everyone anyway
>Brota male
Feels good, man.

I fondly remember when the school's smelly badass-wannabe got his shit ruined by the nicest fresh man around.

I hung out with some burly fellas, but we were a chill lot. The freshman - I'll call him Mac - was a portly guy, generally derided by us but overall liked in the end. We sat together at a circular table during lunch, talking about nothing major and cracking dirty jokes. There was room there for about seven people at this table. Mac took our food trays to the lunch ladies and was more or less the bottom of the totem pole. I never bothered him, he was a nice guy.

Then there was the school badass-wannabe - I think his last name was Price. Price thought I was a good friend or some shit, despite the fact that I openly despised him. We all did, as he stank like an anchovy's cunt and was constantly posturing, daring us to hit him so he could show off how tough he was. Problem was, his big brother was a massive bro, the genuine article in terms of charisma and friendliness. None of us wanted to upset his brother, so none of us bothered slapping his shit. Price envied his brother's god-tier personality and so became a fucking "macho man", stinking badly and speaking in a nasal mumble. Also, he looked like some kind of inbred farmhand, what with his colossal nose and tiny brown eyes.

I got to the table alongside Lugnut, one of the wrestling team's star members. As soon as I sat my bony ass down I hear a dopey, nasal mumble behind me. "Make room for me."

Not a request, but a fucking demand. It was Price, in all his stinky glory.

>>13060819
Have another one also, though not related.

Overall in elementary school pretty nerdy, though still well-liked by everyone due to playground acrobatics, overall loud wit in class discussions, and highest grades in the class (as in I have the respect of all the well liked nice smart girls in class), still very skinny and weak looking, BUT QUICK.

>chillin on the monkey bars with friends
>playground bullies bothering girls (like 3 black dudes)
>they steal the girl's balls and bounce it of one of their faces
>walk over and tell them to give the ball back
>naw make me, holding it out of reach
>quickly hop up part of the play structure and swipe the ball out of his hands, then kick it far away
>mad-boy knocks me to the ground
>get up with fistfuls of sawdust, throwing it straight into his eyes
>raaage, he and all his friend (6 other black dudes and one mexican) being to chase me
>run around the playground and huuuuge ass field (our playground mixed with some regional park so it was massive) for 6 minutes, constantly changing direction and tripping them as they get too close
>eventually tackled near the basketball courts and they begin to beat on my face, I guess they were so angry they didn't close their fists cause they only ended up being able to slap my lips (pretty gay)
>cont

>>13061087

>kick the main aggressor in the face and get up
>me facing 7 people, only 4 are attacking though
>punches and kicks exchanged
>suddenly my strong black friend runs up and powerbombs the main dude, looks ridiculous.
>grand melee
>kid on the outskirts runs up and kicks me in the back
>finally get mad, turn, and kick him as hard as I can in the stomach
>drops crying
>eventually degenerates into my friend playing with/taunting the black guy (the one that took the ball, also the main aggressor) and me taking on the mexican guy
>i got long nails, so accidental blood party on his part
>lunch ends, go back to class as they yell racist epithets at us.
>report to the teacher what happened (as they're doing the same thing)
>go to principal's office, suprised to see multiple girls and boys there telling the story on my behalf.
>the mexican kid, the black aggressor, and the kid I kicked in the stomach all get suspended for three days
>principal commends me on defending myself and praises my friend for coming to maid.
>mfw

>>13061016

Nah, still there. It's the jaw line. You should be out there somewhere sticking your thumbs in eye sockets and makin' out with defeatist black chicks.

>>13061046
you're right. Never had any incidents in school though. Though i did yell at ghetto black kids a lot when i was in boot camp. But that's mostly because they talked so damn much after lights out, and i really wanted to sleep

>Playing intramural rugby against other colleges, get shoulder tackled in face
>Concussed, manage to stay standing, finish tournament
>Apparently head trauma makes me a totally different person
>Get friends, phone numbers, and pussy for one glorious week before my head went back to normal

Why can't I be like that all the time, but without the dip in IQ? Guess I can't have my cake and eat it too.

>>13061052

It was the third time id met her in person, i planned to make a move the second time but my brother decided to be an asshole and skip school, so i had to break the plans we had mid way through and go out and search for the asshole.

Also am i meant to want to look like 2000s alternate rock? I mean i have enough trouble looking like me, so i dont know whats good when it comes to hair.

>>Playing street hockey with some neighborhood kids when i was 12, some were friends others weren't
>>This one kid the same age as me was a real douche, self entitled, listened to a lot of Sugar Ray
>>Takes a shot when I'm goalie, shot hits the frame of the net and bounces back at him
>> I say "Wow, I dont even need to be here, the net does everything for me!" or something to that effect
>> Kid rolls up to me, starts using an awesome push tactic to fight me
>>Left jab him in the face then just sock him in the face until two kids my age and a 15 year old pull me off of him
>>Asshole skates off home crying
>>Everyone laughs

>>13061111
how do you eat cake without having cake

>>13061101

Nah, i got college in abit over a month, better put it on hold.

>>13061124
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Have_one%27s_cake_and_eat_it_too

>>13061124

It's a linguistic mixup. The actual wording should be: "Eat your cake and have it, too."

As in, you can't eat your cake and still have cake for later.

>>13061111
Oh yeah, i saw that episode of the Simpsons!

>5th grade
>bunch of shitheads throw rocks at me from behind
>all of them miss, but I catch one without even looking
>Slowly turn around and glare
>They flee

>>13061001
You're adorable!

>>13061185

Why is it always the guys who say that and not the women.

>>13061144

I really hate it when people misinterpret that saying. Another one that people get wrong is "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence", hell the movie Chicken Run is almost entirely based around misinterpreting that saying.

I never liked these threads, not because its off topic or other bullshit, but half the stories are just about manchildren being manchildren.

Here's one of my (surprisingly few) Alpha moments:

> Freshman in High School, puberty hasn't kicked in yet so I'm a measely 5' 2"
> Blonde jackass fucks with my food one lunch in the cafeteria and ruins it
> Get creative, "accidentally" squirt ketchup into his hair and smear it all around, turning his hair orange
> Walking to class after lunch, feel a breeze by the back of my head
> Jackass took a swing at me from behind and is winding up for a other one
> NERD RAGE ACTIVATE!
> Grab his fist as it flies to me, lift him up into a row of lockers with my other hand by his shirt collar, feet dangling in the air
> "Ok you little fuck, this bullshit ends now before I put my foot up your ass so hard it comes out your mouth!"
> Drop him to the floor, kid scrambles away

I swear to God, next day I grew like 3 inches. Probably the best part was afterwards, the "large guy" of my class (I'm talking 6' 2" and over 300 lbs.) saw me do this and went, "Fuck man, I'm never gonna piss you off, that's for sure!"

>>13061203

In the end though the grass is greener on the otherside of the fence. Much greener. Literally and figuratively.

>>13061001
>>13061016

You're not ugly, some people should be so lucky as to have your looks but please don't post your picture on /tg/, this isn't /b/ or facebook. The last thing we need are threads like these to become a daily occurrence because attention whores are here for the new "rate me /b/".

sage for off topic

>>13061081
I looked at Lugnut with a shit-eating grin. "You hearin' this fucker?!"
Lugnut gave Price a disgusted look. "Don't make room for him, man."
"Of course not!"

Lugnut went to get lunch with the big man Jesse. Price kept mumbling incoherent shit to me about making room and how cool his brother was. I saw Jesse lumbering back, so I told Price to fuck off. He scooted around to the other side of the table, where Mac was sitting next to Jesse.

Price started threatening Mac, demanding that he give up his seat. Jesse cocked a brow at this, as the hierarchy had been long established and Mac was to be at the big man's beck and call. Jesse told Mac not to move. Mac smiled and said, "I won't, he smells like shit."

We bust out laughing at this and Price picked up the pace of his mumbled threats, as Mac repeated "go away, you smell bad", much to the cafeteria's delight.

>>13061194
because you are what is colloquially known as "queerbait"

Use it to your advantage.

>in bathroom, peeing in urinal
>bully comes up, starts shoving me, asking if I'm gay
>zip up
>spin around grab his head and drop down
>his chin hits the extended edge of a urinal
>his jaw splits open down the middle
>teeth and blood everywhere
>he's crying
>kick him hard in the balls
>he stops crying, too much pain
>I wash my hands and go back to class
>nobody found him for hours, he was too ashamed to go get help
>mfw my bully spent hours in the bathroom with ruined junk and a split lower mandible.

>>13061162
lol, Simpsons did it? Oh, the one with the crayon in Homer's brain, right?

Really happened though, one of my friends said it was easier to get along with me because I was "less calculating" and "on the same level." Pic related, the girl I did the nasty with. She stopped talking to me when I got better ;_;

>Tomboy wants to fight me.
>"Wouldn't you rather dance."
>"Yeah whatever, like you can dance."
>Offer hand.
>Tango like a mad cunt.
>My face when she blushes every time she sees me.

>>13061256

Which one? Orange shirt or the cute one?

Because if it's orange shirt don't feel too bad about losing it.

My entire life is one ongoing alpha moment.

>>13061247
Four-foot-six Mac versus a smelly, egg-headed asshole who was a good foot taller. Jesse told Mac, "If you move, so help me god I will shove you up my ass and shit you at the Moon. SO HELP ME GOD."

Price threatened to rip off Mac's arms at one point. Mac spun around and pointed at the only empty table in the cafeteria. He yelled, "GO SIT AT THE BITCH TABLE, YOU BITCH!"

Our uproarious laughter was met with cheers, and so Price stopped trying to sit with us. Eventually we bullied the smelly asshat so much that he had to be transferred to a different school.

>>13061272

Sorry but this isn't alpha. It's the pack weeding out the omega maybe.

>>13061268
Orange shirt, and I'd agree, but not pictured are her D-cups. I'm used to fucking A- or B-cups, it was like falling into the boob dimension when she got on top.

>>13061248

How the hell do i use 'queerbait' to my advantage? I don't even like cock.

>>13061301

Ahhh.

I was going to add "unless she's stacked" but looking at her I didn't think she was the type, she looks to thin.

>>13061301
Pray tell, good sir, why *aren't* they pictured?

>>13061266
Tomboys... love'em.

>>13061266
Fuck yeah you classy motherfucker.

>>13061266
Have you sexed her yet?

Because she's definitely interested.

>>13061323
Because I had more pressing things at hand than snapping a picture. Also I was concussed, so I wouldn't have been thinking straight if hormones weren't governing my actions. Seriously, I had brought her back to my room and just thought we were going to watch a movie, and then she climbed on top of me and I thought "why the fuck not."

>>13061289
The omega was acually Mac. Price was just some fuckwad who pissed off all his other friends and latched onto us when he found out we spoke with his brother on occasion. Mac was constantly getting shat on by Jesse, but the fact that he stood up to the sophomore class' "untouchable badass" was noteworthy, given his own obscurity in the system.

>11th grade, been best friends with this guy for about 10 years.
>Been going out with my girlfriend for a year that Valentine's day.
Yeah, I bet you can see where this one's going /tg/
>Walk in on them fucking, while I have roses and chocolate in my hands, and I have an amazing dinner planned.
>Drop the roses and chocolate, leave, still a virgin, forever alone etc etc.
>He comes up to fuck with me later
>Tell him I'll pay him back with a visit to his sister
>Throws first punch, breaks bridge of my nose, end up getting black eye as well.
> Break his orbital on the left eye, nose, knock out a few teeth, and break 2 ribs
>Crying, bleeding on the ground, threatens to sue
>He started it, I make that point well known, and ask Gas station guys to back me up.
>He goes to the hospital, never hear from him again.

Apparently she's into heavy drugs and douchebags now. Good thing I got out of there. And to think, I was going to waste so much good food on her that night.

>Sixth grade
>Fat, muscle underneath it is hidden very well
>Some guy I don't know gets picked on over Halloween by eighteen-year-old that stole his candy
>Hear about it
>Sense of righteous anger comes to the fore
>Get friend involved, hatch a plan with other guy
>On the bus, find the asshole eighteen-year-old
>Sit behind him with two friends
>Bus rolls out of school
>Friends take off their belts, loop them around eighteen-year-old's wrists, and pull to hold him down
>I begin pounding the fuck out of eighteen-year-old's face and chest, unchecked, for two and a half minutes and leave him to soak in his own misery and pain
>Guy manages to drag himself off the bus with the help of friends
>Knuckles are actually torn open from the number of times I hit him, blood on them isn't just his
>Shrug it off, carry on and arrogantly strut around for the rest of the day
>Next day, get called into the principal's office
>Expect a huge shitfit to be pitched over me beating the shit out of this guy
>Instead, everything is focusing on how this guy got what he deserved because he's apparently been a dick for a long, long time prior to me finding out about him
>Get called a hero by the counselor for standing up and doing something that didn't involve bringing a gun to school
>Then get subjected to an hour-long talk with a specialist, who tells me that I can't expect to do things like that all the time because I'm getting much bigger than the other kids and with great power comes great responsibility
>Start to realize that none of the other sixth-graders could have done that, even if they had cheated like I had
>Get instilled with Paladin-like urges
>Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.png

>>13061317
Free drinks at gay bars. Discounts from gay clerks. Work on charisma, win at life.

>Be in the "Female" Group of friends during middle&high school (In the Great friend group at my school, Girls and Guys separated tables during lunch)
>Always had a major crush on the Tomboy of the group
>Ask other girl from the group out
>She says no
>Tomboy offers to go out with me instead
>SCORE
>Drinking buddy, Wing(wo)man, Bro Gamer.
>Have gone out more or less constantly since then

Feels Goodman

>>13061367

Price is definitely an omgea male, literally unable to be integrated into the pack. Mac is, gee I'm not sure where do go with this..... Delta male?

At least it sounds like you had a real Alpha male at the head of things, this Jesse. I mean even if he was a tyrant and a bully he still offered this Mac his protection.

Sometimes bullying is justified, it's a hard thing to admit even if you haven't suffered it yourself and almost inconceivable to consider if you've had it tough in your life but from an objective point of view bullying serves a useful purpose to the victim.

>Walking around college
>Guy with bent back looking nervous
>Fratbro "accidentally" bumps into him
>Nervous guy's books go everywhere
>Fratbro laughs
>I pick up books, hand them to nerdy guy
>Fratbro knocks them out of his hands again
>Now I'm pissed. Nervous guy starts to tear up. I turn to Fratbro.
"You have a problem, pal? This guy's just walking through."
"Fuck off, bro." Fratbro crosses arms, tries to puff up arms.
"Listen chucklenuts, you can't j-"
>Frat bro swings at me, I duck under his arm. He takes a few more swings and I'm lazily dodging them. He takes one more swing, giving it all he has, yelling.
I take a step back, wait for him to fully extend, and lazily kick his knee. He falls, I put my foot on his head.
"Listen chucklenuts, you can't just do shit like that. I don't like it."
>Nervous guy is basically in tears. I pat him on the back. We go get a few beers later that night.

Last I heard Fratbro switched schools. I haven't seen Nervous Guy since we had our drinks.

If you're out there Rick, let me know. I know you play DnD so maybe you're here.

>5th grade in an all-boy catholic school
>get picked on for being the nerdy-looking new kid
>classmates took my lunch and started throwing it around
>bash someone's head with a water jug before he can catch it
>play star craft with him after school
>bros for life
now he's in the army, kicking terrorist ass.

>high school, same campus
>still nerdy-looking because of my glasses
>get to know girls from different all-girl schools thanks to car pool
>somehow get hot girlfriends
>parties, parties everywhere
>got the 'bullies' to play MTG

best of both worlds. feels good, man.

>High school
>was universally liked

.. I've got nothing, sorry. High school was awesome.

>>13061457
C'est la vie, as they say.

>walking on campus
>"YOU!"
>dude charging at me
>case of mistaken identity, never seen him before in my life
>I just got up the concrete stairs
>at perfect moment, turn to side and stick out leg
>he falls down stairs, digs face into ground
>he doesn't move for a bit, but starts crying and rolls over
>"I don't know who the fuck you are, but goddamn you are stupid."
>go to class
>never see him again

>>13061215
>bullshit story mode activated

nice one bra

>>13061416

1. Why would i hang out at a gay bar
2. Im not becoming the male version of a blonde bimbo.

>>13061509
Why the fuck did you trip him?

>>13061509
Chaotic Evil.

>>13061509
Hows aspergers treating you

>>13061539
>>13061545

The guy DID charge him.

>walking home from friends houses in 8th Grade
>hear shouting and look up from CD player
>5 black kids running at me, "OH SHIT IM GONNA GET JUMPED"
>Grab my knife, flip the blade out and shout "BACK OFF OR YOU'RE ALL LEAVING IN BODYBAGS"
>Cop pulls up with lights going off
>kids bolt the fuck out of there.
>cop asks me what was happening
>I put my knife away and explain, give him names.
>he nods and says "why are you carrying a knife thats likely longer than legal limit"
>tell him "victims that fight back live longer"
>he shakes my hand and drives off
>kids get thrown in juvie

yeah thats about it.

>Go to movies with then-gf
>someone yells throughout movie, far from us
>she starts talking about me doing something
>Kiss her, keep making out
>When we come up for air, we finally remember the noisy guy, someone else is beating the tar out of him
May not be ALPHA AS FUCK, but I'm a lover, not a fighter

Which brings me to

>Late night, going home, wearing earphones
>Walking through an empty Metro exit
>gang of black kids
>One of them starts talking crap at me as I walk up the stairs (I can't hear shit over my music, but he's facing me and it's obvious he's trying to talk to me because he never looks away)
>Reach top of stairs, turn to him
>Raise hand to remove earphone and ask him "What?"
>He pussies the fuck out and is nearly bending backwards over the escalator, he thought I was making a fist
>Feel thuggish, gamma as fuck V,V

>>13061522
Well, that's your decision. Shame though, i agree with the other guy, you're adorable as fuck.

>>13061560
>OH GOD THIS GUY IS RUNNING TOWARDS ME HE MUST BE CHARGING AT ME
>OH FUCK HES GOING TO KILL ME
>BETTER HIT HIM FIRST BEFORE HE DOES IT TO ME
>HAHAHAHA TAKE THAT YOU STUPID FUCK IM SO ALPHA

>>13061560
No, he was running towards him. For all we know he was just running up to talk to him. You have to be an aspergers filled fuck to trip him.

>>13061612

Are you honestly trying to tell me that someone running up to talk to you looks anything like someone charging at you in anger?

>>13061001
>>13061001
jesus christ i think i know you

>>13061635
Yeah, if you're paranoid
The man didn't do anything to him yet, what he did was just pointless fuckery to trip him

>6th grade
>some dick whos been bullying me for years is sitting next to me in P.E. class
> he reaches over and unties my shoestrings
>Ignore it and retie them
>he does it again
>retie them once more and tell him if he does it again, it will be the last time he messes with anyone
>he does it again of course
>calmly stand up and ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE FACE

I may have been suspended from school and grounded by my parents back then. But it felt ohh so wonderful, and i got an ice cream cone as a reward for finally standing up for myself.
No one ever fucked with me again after that.

>>13061653

>didn't do anything
>feeling threatened is legal grounds for use of force

Derp. In the future, if you want to talk to someone, don't charge at them like you're a linebacker.

>>13061583

Go figure, takes me 19 years to get a girl when it turns out i could be getting cock left and right.

But yeah, no, ill stick with being straight.

>>13061612
>>13061653
If he weren't 'charging' him he wouldn't have been in a position to be tripped. When I want to talk to someone and have to run to catch up I generally slow to more of a trot longer before I reach hem.

>grade school
>basketball camp
>generally disinterested
>smartass insists on fucking with me, despite my being larger by nearly a head
>punches me in back of head
>grab him by the throat, pin him to a wall
>hold him there for a full minute just to point out that I could
>He's bleeding from where my fingers were digging into his neck
>earn the nickname 'Wolf' due to long hair and throat tearing
>later picked him for my point guard
>bros

Elementary:

>Friends running like weenies from a kid throwing rocks.
>I show up late to recess because of too much classwork.
>Rock-thrower threatens me too.
>Tell him go ahead.
>He throws a rock at my chest, it sorta hurt, I didn't change expression on my face and walked towards him.
>Runs away terrified. Friends cheer.

Later I found out they were picking on him like assholes. I'm surrounded by faggots.

>>13061711
Paranoia
>>13061730
Well, we'll never know the reasoning behind the guy.
What we do know is that he tripped him, injuring the guy, then proceeded to wave his dick in his face
What he did wasn't justified

Dang, a lot of people think I misread the situation back there.

He was coming for a tackle or a punch. Balled fists, running hard, angry face. If he'd wanted to talk, he would've stopped before reaching me, which meant that I wouldn't have been able to trip him.

You people are the ones with aspergers.

>>13060028
Are you me?

Highschool, I'm a junior just chillin' in gym class. Have some friends from a club I'm chillin' with, let one of the freshman's read over this magazine I brought. Turn around to talk to someone else for a minute.
Turn back around and see a notorious asshole hassling this freshman about the magazine. I just so happened to have a friend who was a TA to the principal, and mentioned to me last week that if this guy gets in one more fight, his ass is out of here. I know he can't do shit.

I walk up, put two fingers to his shoulder and politely ask him if there's a problem. The freshman is obviously cowering at this point. Asshole slaps my hand away and starts trying to be intimidating by walking around me as if to figure out what I'm made of. I just stand perfectly still, relaxed. After the first pass he tells me to 'stop smiling'. I hadn't even realized I was grinning at how idiotic this all seemed, he was all but making sniffing sounds. As he rounded to my back for the second time I looked at the freshman and said, "Damn, I didn't know the axe effect worked on dudes, I'll have to lay off the stuff." he laughs, asshole tells me to shut up.

I laugh and say, "Or what?" he doesn't say anything for a few seconds. I put on my serious face and say "Walk away." he does

>KING OF THE NERDS

>>13061348
>>13061344
>>13061328
A gentleman never tells.

>>13061764

THIS. FUCKING THIS.

Goddamn. When someone runs at you to talk to you, they generally aren't swinging, and they generally stop running before they reach you.

Learn to fucking brain, god damn.

>>13061764
Then you should of described it then you idiot
People get confused if you don't describe the context to them
If anything you're still the guy with aspergers, not them

>>13061764
Why didn't you say so then?
I obviously wouldn't have to make that assumption then

>make eye contact with guy at bus for split second
>"Yo, what the fuck you lookin' at?"
>"You. Was that a rhetorical question?"
>"You a faggot?"
>"I don't see how you've reached that conconclusion from the availab-
>"You were lookin' at me?"
>"And you were looking back, which appears to be the source of the disagreement."
>"I'll come over there and break your head, faggot."
>"Will you?"
>"Fuck yeah!"
>"That's disappointing."
>Proceed to maintain eye contact for a few seconds.
>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT?"
>"I'm waiting for you to come over and 'break my head'. Seems the sort of thing I should prepare for."
>Guy looks away, mutters about faggots, gets off at the next stop.

Pi male!

>>13061790

This is /tg/. We ALL have aspergers, faggot.

>>13061787
Either you're a samefag, or you were there when that happened, watching silently from far away

>>13061790
>charged at me

Charging at someone is generally seen as an aggressive act. Now if I had said "he came up to me" then the confusion would be justifiable, because there's no indication on speed.

but no. I said "he charged me"

You're a fuckwit, and you're trying to call me an idiot to cover for yourself.

Here's a tip: This is an anonymous imageboard. Quote your own post, call it a moron, and drop it. Everyone will think you're someone else now.

>>13061811

No, I just jumped to the logical conclusion.

If this guy would have jogged over and said 'hay bro, what's up!' He wouldn't have fucking posted that the guy attacked him.

It's funny how the people saying 'Well, you didn't explicitly detail what attacking means!' are calling others aspies.

The ironing is delicious.

>10th Grade
>having a shit day
> usual asshole is being an asshole
> follows me to the bus stop
> get sick of his shit
> turn around, he's a full head bigger than me and is the usual "im big so i must be strong" type
>jump up and open palm jab to the face
> he's on the ground unconscious
>ALPHA AS FUCK

>Friend getting picked on in class because he was nerdy
>Get all up in bullies face
>He tries to be alpha by patting my cheek like he owns me
>Rage moment
>Push him
>Left alone for rest of class

#2:

>Bullies follow same friend into bathroom
>I follow in after them
>They stare at me for a second and leave

All this happened in 6th grade. No one messes with my friends. Faggots.

>>13061823
I think both sides are idiots for jumping to assumptions so fast when its obviously the poster being a lazy faggot that started all this

>>13061854

No, one side jumped to a logical conclusion based on WHAT WORDS MEAN.

>bully fucking with friend
>making fun of his family, a sore spot with him, says some really cruel stuff
>decide to step in and express my dissatisfaction via via fist; am young and stupid at the time, so hush
>aiming for light attention getting tap on the jaw
>bully stoops at wrong moment, knuckles bash hard into temple
>suddenly, unconscious
>look down, stunned say "whoops, didn't mean to hit him so hard"
>memetic badass for the entire rest of school

>everythingturnedoutbetterthanexpected.jpg

>long, merciless day at school
>go to heat lunch
>I HAS LUNCH! hurr! go back to classroom to eat it
>fat fucktard smacks me with rubber band causing my lunch to drop to the ground....ruined!
>I look at the lunch with the face of a sad bear, sounds of his pig-laughter filling my ears
>grab lunch
>grab his face
>smash both together while loudly telling the fat pig to eat it
>go back to class. shed less than manly tears over lunch. I loved that lunch damnit!

>>13061863
Whatever you say buddy
You both jumped to conclusions
And the poster is still lazy

>>13061266
This is the only person in this thread I respect.

>>13061884

charge
   /tʃɑrdʒ/ Show Spelled [chahrj] Show IPA verb, charged, charg·ing, noun
–verb (used with object)

.......
5.
to attack by rushing violently against: The cavalry charged the enemy.
There, you dumb nigger. There's no assumption. It's the goddamned definition based on context. No one assumed it was violent. It was stated clearly and concisely.

>Sophomore year
>Biggest douche ever in all of my classes, including PE
>make him bleed by accident in lacrosse
>one teacher loves me for it, kid is retard
>intimidate him whenever playing lacrosse

>take spear to eye during training
>fall to ground with a loud "AAAARGH!"
>everyone (including me) notices the flow of blood
>people ask if OK
>lick some blood off face "Nah, It's too salty

<my face always, but thats beside the point

>Summer semester before highschool, trigonometry class
>class is filled with sophomores
>come in late to class, third time that semester
>teacher says, "detention for you" (has to do with three tardies counting as one absence and one detention session removing that absence)
>a bunch of classmates get into heated argument with teacher about how I don't actually need to go to detention as I only have that one absence on my record.
>they win, I don't get detention.
>I never said a single word the whole time.
>Later, girl says, "You should really speak up for yourself."
>"Meh," says I.

I'm content with being a zeta male, thank you very much.

I held a special place in the high-school hierarchy; the best way I can describe it is being OUTSIDE the system.

I was affable with everyone, interacted with all levels of clique (from mexibros to jocks, valley girls to bandies), and was generally accepted as a neutral party towards all when it came to settling disputes or linking groups together. I went from hanging with goths in the morning to gangbangers in the afternoon, ending with jocks and valley girls at the end of the day.

Is there a level in the Alpha Classification System for that, or was I just an anomaly?

>>13061972
YOU'RE SO ZETTA SLOW!

Keep in mind I'm a relatively short Korean guy.

>8th grade
>big black friend (like 6 feet) punking me by smacking the back of my head and running away
>step on his shoe while he's in mid-pause running off
>he eats it in front of everyone

>8th grade again
>big white dude about to tackle me in schoolyard football
>brace myself for impact by hunching a bit
>push forward without realising at impact, he goes flying over me
>eats it in front of everyone

>10th grade
>PE wrestling
>get paired up with crazy status wrestling team white guy
>hold off getting pinned for 2 rounds of 3 minutes
>didn't eat it in front of everyone

>>13061991
YOU ARE A STATISTICAL ANOMALY. INTERACTING WITH THOSE OUTSIDE OF YOUR CLEARANCE LEVEL IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED; FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH THIS WILL RESULT IN LABELING AS A COMMUNIST AND SUBSEQUENT TERMINATION.

The clique system of American schools always amazes me. Being in Australia, I've never experienced it, but my school was very different. You had friendship groups that interacted vaguely until 11th/12th grade when the idiots could leave and pursue an education in horticulture at the local Tech so they could grow better weed, and after they went it was essentially one big happy family, except for the occasional religious oddball.

>>13061991

I was exactly the same, but im still socially awkward as hell so it doesn't nessecarily make you alpha.

>>13062035
Yeah, same here (although I'm possibly abashed rather than amazed). My high school was really just a bunch of social groups with varying levels of interaction that got together during classes and only a couple faggots per level ever started shit. Of course there was bullying here and there, but I can't even remember hearing about a single fight during those five years. Those were the best years of my life so far.

>>13062035

Wow, thats basicly how my school went EXACTLY, all the guys who dropped out before that are dead, in jail or deal drugs.

cudos to the australian education system?

>make this thread
>use a semi-alpha story to kick things off
>come to find /tg/ is full of hidden rage

Interesting.... very very interesting.

>>13062035
>>13062064
Of course fights don't start in Australia. If you guys fight, you might not hear the giant scorpion sneaking up to attack you, or the wombat bearing down on you.

It's a safety precaution

>>13062092
Wombats aren't shit, its the dropbears you have to look out for.

>11th grade
>Taking AP Chemistry with a teacher that was universally hated
>We're taking the STAR test (a California standardized test, incredibly easy for a good student)
>Section is WW2 and post-WW2 history, an area that I excel in
>50 questions long, finish in about 5 minutes out of the 50 minutes given
>Close book, start to read novel I took to waste time
>Teacher comes up and says, "You couldn't have finished that section that quickly."
>I disagree with him, argument escalates
>He calls in the assistant principal and removes me from class for being disruptive
>Sent to library to wait out the testing period with the students who needed extra time
>Teacher supervising the library exam knows me
>I explain situation
>He understands, lets me leave early

A couple months later...

>Summer comes, along with the STAR scores
>Scored a perfect 100% on that section
>Make a photocopy and circle it
>Leave it in his box

>>13062092

"OH, FUCK THAT SHIT. THAT ONE HAS A MANA BAR!"

>>13062092
Yeah, when your entire country is one gigantic deathworld, you probably don't fight other human beings that much.

>>13062100
Haha, I remember those. No one gave me shit for finishing that fast, though.

You finish your SAT sections with half an hour+ on the clock, too?

>middle school, in band room
>two guys I know, friends I met through band, start fighting
>starts getting heated
>get between them, trying to get them apart
>smacked about a couple of times
>teacher comes out and breaks it up
>later that day, they both come up to apologize to me
Secondary objective was to protect the equipment. You know, the expensive instruments that the school and the students own?

Otherwise, I never really had an inner hero alpha moment. There wasn't much in the way of bullying at the schools I've been to, and I generally got along with everyone, albeit quietly. Band was a damn great way of meeting people, though, and the fact that I got section leader after an epic struggle with a bro in the saxophone section was awesome.

>>13062123

Almost all of them, I think the one exception was in the SAT II's the Calculus section I was cutting it close. Still finished though, not sure why everyone stressed out so hard about them.

>>13062159
Not sure about in America, but here in Aussieland our end of school exams (which have a different name in every goddamn state - fuck your VCE) are hyped as the single most important thing you could ever do apart from curing cancer and solving world hunger. They count for 50% in my state, and there's really no surprise that the youth suicide rate almost triples in the few months leading up to it.

If people were told that you can essentially re-sit the exam every year until you pass (or wait until you're 21 and enter university as a mature aged student) there would be much less stress.

>>13062185

That sounds pretty close to the SAT/ACT, they're pretty hyped up (although it is stressed that you can take them every 6 (?) or so months) and they do count for quite a bit on college applications.

>>13062210
When I was in school, it was only mentioned once or twice that you could re-sit the exams. It didn't help that our guidance counselor was more interested in telling you about how great his son is doing in his life after school than genuinely helping you find something you want to do with yourself.

>>13062210
They don't balance out the scores by race in Aussieland, though, do they? I know Asians and whites take a hit to their point totals so that it's fairer to other minorities, and they're even beginning to phase out the SAT for a fairer, more racially diverse method of measuring aptitude.

>>13061991

I think you're me...

>>13062235
No, but there are a number of university places reserved for Aboriginal students, who have lower entry scores for even the most demanding degrees like medicine and the sciences. Personally, I think they should scrap that bullshit and put more money into indigenous education from kindergarten to highschool.

>Walking home from middle school. 7th Grade.
>Fat kid on bike almost clips me
>Yell "Jesus, watch it!"
>Fatty stops. Gets off bike. "WHAT THE FUCK'D YOU SAY!?"
>"Just watch out, you almost fucking hit m-"
>Fatty picks me up by shirt, proceeds to throw me into bushes."
>Get up, ask "what the fuck was that?"
>Picked up, thrown again.
>"Seriously fatty?"
>Picks me up a 3rd time, more visibly enraged due to fatty comment
>Before he can throw, proceed to kick in the nuts
>As he doubles over, dropping me, elbow the back of his head.
>Proceed to kick his face while he's on the ground.
>Friend's dad jumps out of nearby car, and pulls me away from him.
>Everyone saw him throw me first.
>Everyone thinks I'm some sort of saint for not having my family press charges.

Looking back, I was a brutal little fucker, but that was the only fight I've ever been in.

This is actually jsut from this past year
>Got Mugged
>Decided to learn a proper Self Defense Art
>Learn Krav Maga
>After a few lessons I'm at an ATM for some cash
>Guy comes up to me
>"Gimme a 20"
>"No"
>"Ya Startin'?!"
>Turn round go into Krav Maga stance
>"I don't think you want to try that"
>Guy immediately backs down
>Runs off
Pic is my face afterwards

>>13062306
This is something I don't understand about America. You're what, twelve, thirteen years old and somebody pushes you around?

SUE SUE SUE SUE SUE!

Man up, and learn to take a punch. Little nothing fights like that aren't worth pursuing.

>>13062230

That sounds like my guidance counselor, I don't understand how they get the people who seem to care so little to be the ones doing that job.

>>13062340
Assault is illegal in the US.

>>13062235
The way the scores are done in Australia is absolutely crazy. Your entire two years at the end of high school count for a tiny proportion of your end mark, which is mostly composed of a series of 3/4 hour exams (and some external research work for certain subjects). Fairly basic stuff, right?

But it gets interesting here. Your marks are then compared to everyone else in the state, and you are given a mark that indicates how your mark compared to everyone else in the state in that subject, with 60 being the 'average' score. Case in point, in 2 unit advanced mathematics I scored 30% or so, when my 2 unit maths result came back I had a mark or 65% (ausfags can't do maths)

All these marks are calculated into one single mark. The mark out of 100.00 you get at the end is what percentage of the state you scored higher than. For example, an end score of 75.00 means you scored better than 75% of the state. Seems fairly simple?

Well sorry bitch, University places are determined on a first-come-first-serve basis, with the requirement being a 'cut off' mark that tells you the lowest marked student they accepted in. Law has an exceedingly high requirement (above 97 in high demand universities) because there are limited places, and a lot of people wanting to do it. Any reasonable university course won't have a cut off lower than 75, and for a good course in a good university expect it to be 80 minimum.

If you want to have a shot at getting into that university degree you're after, you need to be smarter than 80% of people in your year in the state.

P.S. If you get a mark of less than 30, they refuse to tell you what it is. They just give you a * instead of a mark. I've got friends at Uni who come from schools where if you learn your mark, you're celebrated by the teachers as "not a failure like everyone else."

>>13062159
Because most people don't study enough, or don't study early enough. You shouldn't even be looking at notes the day before the test, you should be DONE studying so you can rest. Refresher notes on test day morning.

end result: OMG, so easy!

>>13062312

Sounds like my mate Dave.

>>13062355
It's illegal here too, but we're not so litigious a society that a scuffle between to testosterone-addled kids is enough to go to the police. It's just a cultural thing, I guess.

>>13062367
Yeah, it's a fucking ridiculous system. I firmly believe that the final exams should be 20% at a maximum, and that actual insight should be rewarded with marks - not just "lol, memorized fifteen pages of text on unified field thory."

>>13062065
>>13062035
>>13062064

I went to school in the US, and that's mostly how it was for me. Being oblivious as I usually am, I always assumed that I just didn't see the system.

The closest thing I did to being alpha was in English class. We were reading shakespeare aloud in class, and I was playing some part. (I want to say it was Macbeth or midsummer night's dream because I know it wasn't romeo and juliet or othello, and we never read hamlet), and this girl sitting next to me is talking. She isn't even bothering keeping her voice down, she's just telling some inane story to the person next to her, so in the middle of my line I said "would you please be quiet." The next day that story had somehow mutated into "shut up bitch, I'm reading shakespeare." Nothing ultimately came of it, though.

>Awkward nerd
>really into girl in high school
>friend tries to get me to ask her out, says she told him she might be interested
>notice she's all flirty at lunch with asshole that used to bully me all the time
>That friend goes over to try and talk to her, asshole almost fights him before principal breaks it up
>Friend has an idea to ask her on a date to school dance, since she's also expressed interest in him
>says he'll act like a dick to her, I can come up and tell him off, then ask her to come with me instead
>I get there, see her, just about to do it when I see it's the asshole
>he's being a dick, I puss out
>he armbars me
>NERD RAGE
>turn around and knock him the fuck out
>take her in to the dance

>>13062420
Forgot pic, it's me
mfw I married her a few years later and became a successful sci-fi wrtier.

>12th grade
>I'm a lot stronger than I look, and not a lot of people know that
>Long time rival asshole challenges me to a boxing match
>Whatever, lets get this over with
>One hit KO the asshole
>He wakes up

"We were doing face shots?"

>>13062409 shut up bitch, I'm reading shakespeare.

Drawfags unite!

>>13061144 As in, you can't eat your cake and still have cake for later.

... Nah, I think the original is best.

"You can't have your cake and eat it too"

As in - you only "have" your cake as long as you don't eat it, once the cake is eaten - it's gone.

Trying to have BOTH (eat the cake but still have it) is greedy and unrealistic, something this idiomatic phrase refers to.

>>13062551
Screw you, I can eat my cake, and keep it for up to X hours, after which digestion is over and the cake is useless

>>13061411 Holy fuck fat Sociopath warning

Seriously dude, beating a guy like that is pretty fucking sick.

Never read any Nietzche and/or played Baldurs Gate 2, huh?

What if I just eat part of the cake?

>>13062072

Indeed, OP, indeed. I'm the guy who posted the very first response- I figured I'd try to kick off a round of fun counter-trolling of what I considered an obvious troll thread (in light of the other /r9k/ style shitposting happening on the board at that time.)

I come back to find a surprisingly good thread full of stories of shocking and sudden neckbeard asskickings.

How fascinating.

>>13061552 Hows aspergers treating you

Hey dude, I'm a .. you know what (I hate the "nickname" bullshit and identity crap people harp on about) and I wouldn't do something like that.

Part of the diagnostic criteria for it is worrying about how other people regard you, just not fucking understanding how to work it out.

>Standin in line with friends at a movie theater
>See some asshole yelling and slapping his girlfriend
>CHIVALRY MODE, ACTIVATE!
>Confront him
>Beat him down, he gives in and runs off to his car.
>OH FUCK DUDE BEHIND Y- *CRACK!*
>Wake up on the ground 5 minutes later
>Friends had beat him into a coma after he hit me in the neck with a wooden bat
>Doctor tells me that if the bat had hit even a millimeter higher than it did it would've killed me, and lower it would've paralyzed me.
>Never get the girl's name, and have a horrible fucking headache for a week.

Good deeds need no rewards aside from a shit ton of vicodin jesus christ.

>in High School
>Hang out with the punks
>Look like jock because of blond hair
>Dude tries to fight me, with his friend as aid
>throatpunch dude, stumach-punch dude, knee him in the face(he had to get his jaw reconstructed)
>Kick (dude #2) in gut, open palm his neck
>collapsed trachea
>collapsed ontop of other dude
>they both go to hosplital
>My parents sue both of their families
ALPHA AS FUCK

>be in middle school
>get invited to a pool party from a girl I sorta liked
>douchbag is there
>he wont leave me alone, splashing me egging me on
>push him away, he tries to grab me and takes a swing
>dive underwater, launch off the the bottom of the pool
into a PERFECT SHORYUKEN right on his jaw
>don't remember seeing that guy again

>Having a bad day
>Asshat tries to break into locker
>fails, kicks it
>Stomp on his other leg
>Grab his hair and throw him to the ground
>"Please, Stop!"
>"If i ever see you try that again, i WILL kill you. Understand?"
>Help him up and walk him to the chemist, help pay for vicoden
ALPHA AS FUCK

ALPHA AS FUCK

>driving home one night from a /tg/ night at a bros.
>cop car tails me for about a mile around this town
>go down a 20 road, doing 20. everybody normally does 30-40
>cops pull me for suspicious behaviour
>car registered 100 miles away, the city that im from (currently living near university)
>female pig "you shouldn't be driving this car here. thats fraudulent"
>me "you shouldn't tail me for over a mile without signalling to turn once"
>her "ararasrrawrar you don't telll me how to drive, i don't like people telling me how to drive"
>me "bet your instructor loved you"

after another 15 minutes of agressive questioning they had to let me go.

Alpha As Fuck

> 10th grade
> friend of mine is 6' tall, 110 lbs.
> hockey player jock is 6' tall, 240 lbs., going to make the NHL 5 years later
> friend is showing us his grandpa's pocket watch, which his just inherited
> hockey player takes watch, goes to walk off
> friend grabs him by the shoulder, spins him around, right hand to the jaw
> hockey player hits the ground completely unconscious
> teacher comes over, nudges unconscious kid with foot, looks at my friend, and laughs
> jock's hockey jock friends are some combination of furious and totally ashamed
> jock moved to a different school the week after

Alpha as fuck

wasnt me personally but i used to hang with this 5'4" geek who was built like a brick shithouse. his shoulders and muscles were as broad as mine and i'm 6'2". anyway:

>we're hanging out on the pierhead one time
>some black dudes come over and start shit with one of our friends.
>after a few seconds one of them swings at our friend,
>we all start to run over to help
>out of fucking left field i see shaun sprinting over
>shaun grabs one of the guys in a weird way, like shaun bending forward around the guy locking his arms around the dudes waist
>shaun 180's the fucker dumping him on his neck
>horrible crack
>he then headbutts another who tries to attack him

i swear if i hadn't known him since we were kids i'd have thought he was a pro wrestler or an assasin or some shit. the sound as the guy landed on his neck/shoulders made me shit myself. i thought he'd killed the guy.

>>13062916

were you friends with gotrek?

are you felix jaeger?

>Help a bully get a ball from the top of a tree with a big ass pole that I stole.
>Ball hits bully's head, his friends laugh, he says he's going to make me bleed.
>"Meh. You're welcome"

Later
>6 PM, I HAZ FREEDOM!
>Fuckwit is following me, threatening me and taunting me. I casually talk with my best girl friend (Note the space). She laughs as I imitate a retarded pikachu.
>Bully is desperate when his friends tell him to let go.
>"Your mother's a whore!" type of insult
>I ain't got a mother. I halt "Let it go, man" girl friend says.
>Turn around robot-like, walk to him, interrupt him saying "It's on no-" with "EXCUSE ME?!"
>BERZEKU MODU

What people tell me to have happened
>I tackled the guy, threw him to the ground, turned around, kneed his mouth and proceeded to pump fists into his face. When one of his friends started kicking my back, I picked the bully's head with both hands and started slamming it into the ground.
>Problem? The ground was full of beer bottle glass shards when. His scalp was LAMINATED. He didn't die though.

>DETENTION! But no jail since people back me up and court declares I was taunted into the crime.

My only regret from doing that was that from there on to the 12th grade, people feared me.
Except my girlfriend. (Notice the lack of space now. Same person, though.)

>>13062964
no lol but thats the sort of frame he has. he's muscular as fuck but he's got some sort of napoleon complex so always wears baggy cloths and thinks he's fat.
it's a wonder he didn't get picked up by the police because we never stopped hanging out on the pier for a good year or two.

>>13063060
So it's Jay and Silent Bob?

Junior year, during a group presentation in psych punch a group member in the throat and get away with it
bluff check natural twenty.

Never really had any surprisingly alpha moments, I was way too big for anyone to want to mess with.

Only thing I ever did was forcibly reclaim candy some jackass stole from my sister.

I'm 6'2" or thereabouts, and pretty solidly built. However, when I was in the equivalent of high school(I'm from Norway), I was a weedy little runt. We're talking 5'0" when everyone else had had their growth spurts ages ago. I was being harassed on a pretty regular basis because of my weediness and because I was an incurable nerd. Being a pretty laidback sort, I'd never made much of it... until recess one day in winter, when several of us were monkeying around in the classroom instead of immediately filing out to the schoolyard('cos winters in Norway are COLD).
I was getting my stuff into my bag but taking my time about it. I had my sweet wristwatch I'd gotten for my birthday just weeks prior lying on the table in front of me and was about to put it on, when one of the biggest, meanest bullies in the entire school came up, snatched the watch... and dropped it on the floor, stomping on it.
I don't remember a thing from there until I came to, sitting on top of an unconscious bully. My classmates told me I'd physically lifted him off his feet, taken a running start and smashed him headfirst into the brick wall.
I didn't get bullied much after that. And not at all after I finally got my growth spurt, next summer.

>9th grade
>jackass repeatedly throws football into my back and head
>stand up, turn around, launch punch that breaks three of my fingers and dislodges a few of his teeth
>get sent to principal, lectured on appropriate conflic resolution
>bro-tier teacher who saw the thing tells me I won't be suspended because I have a reputation as being a reasonable guy
>get to class late with bandaged hand
>take usual seat, friends congratulate me on taking despised idiot down a notch
>jackass' ex girlfriend sitting in next row, gives me gorgeous smile
>end up spending all the next holidays with intelligent and cute girl, make out lots
>never get troubled by jackass again

Four years later

>end up at same college as jackass
>he's matured a lot, no longer jackass
>drinking buddies forever

>>13063112

now that you mention it

>>13063235
Reminds me of something a friend of mine did to another friend of mine. One of them is sort of the nerd and the other kickboxing musclebound. Nerd friend is sitting in a big comfy chair, muscle friend wants the chair and jumps knees first on top of nerd friend. Nerd friend grabs musclefriend around the knees, stands up and then runs straight through the entire room and slams muscle friend into a closet. Shit looked hilarious.

>>13063324

> 8th grade. I'm a big guy. Fat, but lots of muscle too.
> Bros with a couple other guys in my science class. Also had a world-class dickhead in that class, who everyone hated because said dickhead was fucking with them all year.
> Dickhead, me, and one of my bros were also in the same gym class. Taking a break to get a drink, dickhead snatches bro's water bottle and won't give it back.
> Me, quiet guy who almost never says anything, tells him to knock it off.
> Dickhead says what are evidently the magic words: "Stay out of this, faggot."
> INSTARAGE
> Grab dickhead by the throat, start choking. Get separated from dickhead by a teacher
> Shake teacher off like he's nothing, grab dickhead by the throat with one hand and commence face punching with the other.
> More teachers are called in. I shake like three of them off at once (something I was honestly surprised I was able to do) and continue the beatdown.
> After several minutes, five teachers working together manage to pry my hands of Dickhead's throat and pin me to the ground. One of them is sitting on my chest so I can't breathe.
> Agree to stop fighting. They let me up. Dickhead pokes head around corner and starts with the shit talking again.
> RESUME RAGE

>>13063545

> Somehow get into a tangle of all seven of us (Dickhead, myself, and all five teachers.) Despite their best efforts, I have grabbed Dickhead by the hair and am now proceeding to beat the shit out of the top of his head with my free fist, as it was the only part of him I could reach.
> I promise to let go if Dickhead takes it back and promises to lay off the asshole routine. Otherwise I will do my best to cave his skull in. (I was seriously too angry to think straight at the time.)
> Extract promise from Dickhead, release his hair.
> We both get suspended for two weeks (school policy- no mater who started the fight, anyone involved gets a two week suspension). My parents aren't mad and don't punish me because teachers corroborate my story about how Dickhead was antagonizing me. My parents also know I'd struggled with keeping my temper in check my entire life.
> Memetic badass around the school for the rest of the year. Nobody fucks with me anymore, until I transfer to a new school.
> mfw I hear Dickhead pulled another cute little stunt a couple years later and got his arm broken for it.

>high school, I'm known as the most peaceful guy in class
>teacher is absent, we can do whatever we want
>I try to grab some sleep since I was up late drawing shit
>classmate kicks the table I'm resting my head on repeatedly despite me telling him to stop
>after fourth time I just stand up flipping the table straight at him
>calmly get the table off of him and sit back trying to sleep
>whole class silent for the rest of period

Food and sleep are sacred.