rolled 12 = 12

Moving time, Try to find a new basement, Rather then carry all of the stuff, Try casting Teleport on it to transport it all at once.

Also, Requesting Inventory.

>>7485175
grab all we can and head to any other basement we know the location of

and fast

>>7485201
You have an assload of reagents. You can interpret the needed reagents from your notes, but you don't know one reagent from another.

Also, the teleportation spell includes fire. Lots of fire, from the sound of it. It could be very deadly if done incorrectly.

I suggest we go out on that newly arrived merchant ship and become a pirate. Do we have any spells that can disguise us while we make the way to the docks.

IIRC we have 87 coins, that's enough to pay a ship captain for a bed on the ship and for no one to disturb you while you study magic.

>>7485219

We could also work our passage somewhere, and perhaps aid the captain if bad things assault the ship.
Also... MMMM SAILORS.

>>7485219
I kind of like this idea

but some magically aligned order has plans with this town

this idea still has potential though

>>7485210
INVENTORY CHECK:
CHAINMAIL
BOOTS
GAUNTLETS
HELMET
SPEAR
CLUB
MAGIC WOODEN WAND (named Kyle's Wood)
MAGIC IVORY WAND (named Cockblower)
RUNED ROD THAT AMPLIFIES SPELLS
DULL, MAGICAL, SILVER KNIFE
LARGE TOME THAT WILL NOT OPEN
87 COINS
MAGICAL NOTES
TRANSLATION BOOK FOR TRANSLATING FROM DUMBASS
THREE SACKS OF REAGENTS

Ok, Leave the Regents, get most other stuff, Get to the port, Find a Ship, Preferably to another Continent, Then get the hell out of Dodge.

>>7485243
didn't we grab a sword from that gang's place as well?

or did we forget to do that?

>>7485243
forgot these:
BLACK CAT STATUETTE
UGLY AMULET
LARGE RING

>>7485259
Yeah, you left it behind when you brought the reagents.

>>7485247
leave reagents?

but how will we become deathwizard incarnate without them?

>>7485270
>>7485247

We *take* the reagents onto the ship.

>>7485241
True, if things go really down the shithole we can always steal someone's skiff or something.

I think we should try to get to the bottom of the mage's guild or whatever is operating in the city and depose the corrupt ruler of the city.

So what are we doing?
You can manage to move all your possessions (including reagents) in three trips.

>>7485273

The thing is, Our time is pretty limited, and we will probably NOT get all the stuff on board, Better leave most and not let the guard onto what we are doing or giving them a chance to find us, After all how will we become th greatest mage if we are imprisioned in a Temple or worse, DEAD.

>>7485297
three trips?

fuck

can't we find a bigger sack to keep them all in?

take off our chainmail and use that as a sack?

>>7485297

We move to a completely unknown basement.
Take a rest. Next day we find a ship to sail out on.

Maybe even a PIRATE ship.

>>7485307
Uh, no on the chainmail. You can take it off so your more comfortable though, I suppose.

These are pretty big sacks. Heavy too. You have like, 8 sacks of reagents. So, three sacks on the first and second trips, two and your other possessions on the third.

>>7485307
Are we even a guard anymore? Do we need all our armour and crap? Just dress in the clothes, ditch the spear, keep the club. Mages don't wear armour for a reason.

>>7485319
fine, I leave the least valuable/useful/useful looking reagents and head for a ship

or at least another basement

And we can always come back later to solve this when it has calmed down, Right now our options are limited and the entire guard hates us, If we get caught we are fucked... and not in the good way.

I say we escape and learn some magic in some place where it isn´t illegal(Bound to be someplace, After all how why else would that dude in topic 1 announce that he was a Mage so proudly, And he was pretty obviously from another country.), Then come back when we can deal with the guard easily.

>>7485333
Ditch the armour! I forgot to say that.

>>7485334
>>7485333
Another basement for now.

It will be hard enough to book passage on a ship-- we should go once everything is secure to find a captain.

>>7485339
one post off, buddy

>>7485319
any way we can quickly disguise ourselves to make the trips less conspicuous?

>>7485334
In the Eastern part of the continent, magic is technically illegal since it became part of the Kingdom, but it's still pretty widely practiced. The King thinks as long as the Mage's Cabals are kept in check, and that magic doesn't spread to the more prosperous Western part of the Kingdom, that he can tolerate it. After all, trying to stomp out every mage would be hard.

>>7485334
So are you heading for a ship? What are you bringing?
Even without your armor, your red guard's shirt still identifies you as a 'guard'.

>>7485367

Basement!
And we find another shirt. Somewhere.

>>7485373
What are you bringing?

>>7485367
let's disguise ourselves in whatever way we can, throw some rags on us or something and head to a basement we know brandon and dan and any other guard would never look for us in

ditch the armor and spear and grab as much stuff as we can for the first trip

Wait, We are wearing a RED SHIRT?

No wonder things went to shit, Off with it, Walk barechested, Try looking for a not red shirt.

>>7485376
translation book, notes, club, the wands and rod, reagents

gaudy jewelry can stay

>>7485376

The most valuable looking reagents, and our other possessions.
Also, we hide the other reagents somewhere in the basement until we come back for them.

Is it possible to cast illusion on the door to hide it... or blockade the door and blast a hole somewhere else as an exit?

We aren't "Kyle the Guardsman" anymore I guess.

>>7485399
This. Make sure we have all the magical items with us, and a sack or two of the most valuable reagents.
The other reagents can wait.

>>7485384
You cannot find anything to wear, so you just take off your shirt. Without the armor and weapons, you manage to barely carry four bags. You find another basement and deposit your goods. You find a tailor and buy a typical black, unassuming shirt, along with simple tan linen pants. Changing quickly, you get the rest of your possessions and take them to your new basement. Your tired, hungry, and it is getting dark, but everything has been moved to the new basement.
You have 40 coins left.

>>7485406
but we were Kyle the Great from the very beginning

Greatness sometimes requires making... difficult decisions

...and rape

>>7485411

Resting time in the new basement.
Next morning we go out disguised to find a ship, illusion magic at the ready.

>>7485406
Good point. Name changed accordingly.

>>7485418

Blockade the basement door while we rest, too.
Just in case.

>>7485411
let's grab some food somewhere we know guards don't hang out

surely we know enough of them to know where they are least likely to be

>>7485432
You know some pretty rough docks bars that you like. The ale tastes like piss, and some of the guys know you (as somewhat of a bro, a 'cool guard'). You could head there, but Dan usually hangs out with you there. He could possibly look there for you. Possibly.

Otherwise, you could buy food from a store.

>>7485458

Food from a store sounds good.
We could also steal it.
Stealing sounds fun.

>>7485458
let's just go grab food from a random stall

doesn't have to be anything great, just enough to let us get to bed without an empty belly

nobody likes going to bed on an empty belly

>>7485467
let's not press our luck

besides, we're a rapist, not some kind of CRIMINAL SCUM

>>7485470
>>7485467
Buying or stealing?

>>7485477
BUY

let's not risk having to blow too many cocks off

Buy the food.

>>7485482
>>7485483
You go searching around the city. You finally find a stand with a girl selling meatcakes. You buy two and eat them on your way back to the basement. You barricade the door after you're back in, and fall asleep on a hard pallet.

You wake up early the next morning. It is roughly 5:30. You feel refreshed. Now what?

>>7485508

Docks.
Find a pirate ship.
Book passage for work.

>>7485514
You're pretty sure pirates don't have big banners on the side of their ships saying PIRATES HERE: NOW HIRING. You don't know which ship would contain pirates, if any. You never had to deal with ships before, there's a closer barracks that deal solely with them.

>>7485508
docks

try to get a bed on one of the ships, it doesn't matter which one or where they're going

maybe try to offer us up as a worker

use our guard senses to try to find a seedy "private merchant" ship, perhaps?

>>7485523
Find a ship, Get the hell out of time.

No need to check if they a re pirate ships or not, With our luck we are bound to accidentelly get onto one anyway.

>>7485527
Some more information on the world: There is only one other continent, and it is pretty much like North America when it was first discovered...only make the indians more savage. Their are a few, small colonies, and very little trade with the natives.

However, ships do go to other parts of the super-continent that the Kingdom is on. Booking a ship for the East would be your best bet, if you want to join a Magic Cabal. Going to the south, where it's mostly farmland would be a good place to lie low. Or you could be a pirate. Or...anything...

>>7485575

A pirate with a base in the East may be fun.
A mage-pirate with a sea-bound magic cabal.
We can dress like an Exalted character all day.

>>7485590
I second this

find a seedy-looking vessel heading east

ONWARD TO GREATNESS!

>>7485527
>>7485590
This. Use our guard senses to find a ship bound for the east. Maybe a smuggler.

>>7485575

Go to new America, They are bound to be a bit more open about Magic there, And we might get some exotic spells if we trade with the Natives there, Said exotic spells can then be used to establish a Mage nation on said continent..

>>7485590
>>7485600
>>7485606
You head out to the docks. There are quite a few ships on the harbor. After asking the dockmaster, he points you to some ships heading towards the east. You find the worst looking one, come aboard and ask to speak to the captain. "You not need speak with Captin, Westerner." says a fat, dark-skinned man. "You leave rite now."

rolled 1 = 1

>>7485662

I ROLL SEDUCE.

rolled 9 = 9

>>7485662

Ask him where ship goes, Tell him we are a Merchant with Spices, Who need passage, Say that we have combat exprience while flexing muscles.

>>7485674
lmao

>>7485674

>>7485674
Fuck, chances are he will punch us out for this, And then the gurads will arrive to check out the comotion... In othe words... RUN AWAY!

>>7485684
TAKE THIS ONE

there will be time to seduce sailors later

>>7485684
while making a Gaston face. Then start singing the Gaston song.

>>7485702

He doesn't speak our language very well!
He will completely miss the innuendo!
Then we go with the 9 roll.

>>7485674
You hit on him, not very subtly. "I wood rater fuck a pig than you, Westerner."
>>7485713
>>7485702
You leave. The man doesn't try to stop you.

To another ship?

>>7485729
TO ANOTHER SHIP!

>>7485729

To another ship.

rolled 17 = 17

>>7485729

We go back and suggest that we have combat experience, and are a Wizard.
If he doesn't believe us, we cast ERECTION.

To another ship and do what >>7485747 said.

>>7485741
>>7485746
You go to the next shitty looking Eastbound ship. This time, a Westerner greets you. "Welcome! Do you need something?" You tell him you want passage, and are willing to pay. "Well...unless you're willing to work, I'm not letting you on. This isn't a luxury liner, you know..." He tells you the ship deals in the spice trade.

>>7485747
How did this turn from "GUARD WIZARD QUEST" to "FUCK EVERY MAN IN A TEN KILOMETRE RADIUS BY CASTING ERECTION"?

>>7485761

Say that we were expecting to have to work, Shake hands on it.

>>7485764

About halfway through the first topic.

>>7485764
when we first declared ourselves KYLE THE GREAT

also, we fondled an unconscious wizard's balls

that's how it all started

rolled 6 = 6

>>7485761

I ROLL SEDUCE.
While thinking of ramming the penis into that charming Eastern man's ear.

>>7485761
>>7485774
"The ship will be leaving in four days. If you want to bring any possessions aboard, it will be twenty-five coins."

>>7485796

Tell him you will pay him 10 now, and 15 once the ship takes sail.

rolled 19, 10 = 29

>>7485796
"Twenty-five? We're not exactly out of shape, and our services will definitely cover more than that. How's 5 sound?"

Second roll for seduce

>>7485808
He agrees. You pay him and shake on it.

You have four days to kill before the ship leaves. If you hang around the ship, expect to be put to work.

rolled 1 = 1

>>7485795

I... sigh.
No homosexual enough, I suppose.

>>7485796
Rolling to use our seductive ways to lower the price.
Swaying hips, accentuating curvature of balls.

>>7485814
Oh fine, I won't pass it up.

You haggle him down to five. As for the seduction, the man grins. "Come see me once we've set sail...then we'll 'talk'...." He grins. You grin. And you get an erection. Feels good man.

rolled 14, 12 = 26

>>7485818
>>7485814
dammit

so that doesn't count, then?

let's go gather our stuff, then and get secured in the ship as quickly as possible

>>7485826

>>7485826
>>7485832
feels GREAT, man

NOW we go secure our belongings

>>7485840
yeah, leave the seducing to the professionals, mr. crazy voice who's been following us

General ideas/theories about what we currently know about setting/Political.

King is likely a mage, Yet magic is illegal, Why?

Obviously king is afraid of somone is going to become more powerfull then him, Hence our long time goal is pretty clear, Atleast to me, become more powerful then him, Replace/Ursurp the the king. Oh, And fuck Mike too.

The new continent is pretty big Unknown, Seeing how there are natives there there are bound to be magicians, Chances are that the king will start acting against those magicians pretty soon, Most likely to keep them under controll like he did against the Easteners. If this happens i think that the easteners themselves will probably revolt gainst the kingdom, after all, They seem to be very mishappy with westeners in general.

Just some food for thought.

>>7485854

>this thread

>>7485862
but we're not a revolutionary leader! we're Kyle the Great! Kyle the rapist of all who stand before him! His penis is Wrath, and Wrath it doth shoot onto the faces of his slain foes!

That being said, we should totally still try to fuck Mike

>>7485882

WE'LL FIND MIKE, ONE DAY.
ON THE HIGH SEAS.

>>7485862
You suspect all of this, yet harbor no proof to any of them. The natives of the second continent are not human. You don't know what they are, but supposedly they are VERY good at combat. And they are strong.

>>7485832
>>7485843
You begin to return to your apartment. However, you recognize two men walking through the docks district: Roger and Brandon. Brandon is wearing the gleaming plate armor of the former captain (who never wore it himself, since he sat at a desk all day) as well as a short-sword in place of a club. Two other guards you don't recognize trail behind them.

They have not spotted you, but you are close enough to be recognized if they DO spot you.

>>7485882

Never said we were, Just pointing out that the East Continent is probably pretty opressed from the vibes im getting, And as for ursurping the king, Well, It will let us rape everyone we want. and he seems to be the source of our problems, Whith that pesky NO MAGIC law.

Also, Kyle, What is the Kingdom,Eastern Continent and New Continent called?

>>7485909

That armor is probably anti-magic armor. *sigh*
Can we find a mask to wear. We need a mask.
Or at least a bandage to go on the face.

Our apartment was clearly watched, too-- why would we go there?

rolled 19 = 19

>>7485909

Turn invisible, Run into a alley and hide in barrel or something, then wait until nightfall.

>>7485879
ITALIAN SPIDERMAN! FUCK YEAH!

>>7485909
>>7485930
YES

Well rolled, anon

>>7485930
except hide until you know they're gone

we don't want to be late for our boat trip and we NEED our reagents and books

>>7485910
There are only two continents. The new unexplored one, and the current one. There is an eastern part of this continent, recently subjected to the rule of the Kingdom.
The Kingdom is named after the King, who himself 'loses' his name when he becomes King, henceafter known only afterwards as "The King". The current Kingdom is the Nitrear Kingdom, meaning the King's former name was Nitrear.

The Eastern part of the continent is called "Sha'azar", or "The East". It is primarily grassland (think African grasslands) with a(n) Arabian/Indian/Japanese mixed culture. The West is just called 'The West'. It's old name is known only by scholars. The current continent is called Dalindir, and the new continent is called Udaj, named for the first explorer to reach it.

>>7485958
Kinda like some countries have dynasties?

Seems kinda neat.

>>7485930
Turning around and hiding your rod while it charges, you turn invisible and run down an alley. You stay to the shadows and drop your spell, watching the patrol. No one is speaking. they walk past the alley without noticing you. You watch as they walk into a bar you used to frequent.

What do you do?

>>7485981
Thanks, I totally pulled that out of my ass. I like it though, maybe I'll flesh it out into a campaign setting in my free time.

>>7485958
now invisibility/hide in barrel until coast is clear

THEN gather our belongings and get onto the ship

if shit gets too dangerous we'll just blow 'em up

and not just their cocks this time

>>7485988

They are probably spreading the word around about you, Better get our stuff ASAP, Our movement will be pretty limited soon.

>>7485997
this times a lot

>>7485997
You break your cover and dash across the street, into another alley. You turn around, and sure enough, the patrol is walking out. You find your way to the exit of the Docks district through the alleys, and then get to your apartment.

What do you do?

By the way, the Rod takes about 10 seconds to charge.

>>7486013

Under cover of darkness, we deploy our goods to the ship.

Btw, what is the range of our explosion spell-- can we create a diversion by blasting something across town?

rolled 5 = 5

>>7486013

Get stuff to the ship, Try doing it discretly, Infact, Cast Invisible on the bag with the stuff in it.

>>7486013
is this a typical patrol? by experience do we know where they're going?

gather what we can, we made it in 2 trips when we were hungry and fatigued, let's try to make it to the ship in one trip now

>>7486033
It is fairly close range. The rod amplifies the power of the spell, but not its range.

>>7486040
>>7486035
You gather up your stuff. You simply cannot take all of it in one trip, unless your willing to leave two bags of reagents behind. All your other possessions, save your spear and armor will come with you.

This is not a regular patrol, unless they got a request to go into the bar. Patrols never go into buildings unless they need to.

>>7486069

Leave the regeants, Better safe then sorry.

>>7486069

Leave two of the least valuable reagents behind.

Can we extend the illusion around ourselves and anything we are carrying?
We would only need to do so in order to vanish around a corner.

>>7486078
>>7486085
We can come back for them! We have 3-4 days now, anyway.

>>7486078
>>7486069
I don't know

the reagents seem pretty vital

can't we leave behind some of the jewelry to lighten the load?

there is a giant ring and necklace in there

let's dump the totally unnecessary stuff and take all the reagents we can

>>7486085
You aren't sure how long you could sustain the spell. Also, you'd need a way to wave the rod. Also, the reagents are mixed up - you aren't sure which bags are valuable and which aren't

>>7486103
That stuff doesn't take up much space. It is the reagents which are hard to carry.

>>7486090
>>7486103
oh wait, you're right

I forgot we had 4 DAYS and not 4 HOURS

okay then, if we're in our apartment then let's just barricade the doors and study some magic

>>7486103

we have more then one day, we can come back for them then. Right now it is pretty risky.

Let´s see, the guard know where we live so the longer we stay here the higher risk we are at., I say just leave 2 bags of regeants and dash to the ship.

>>7486116
let's rest and study until nightfall or until we deem it safe enough to secure everything onto the ship

barricade ourselves in until then

>>7486148
brandon may know of our OTHER basement, but he doesn't know about THIS one

>>7486148
You make it to the ship. The captain sees you. You explain to him that your bags are not to be searched. He nods.

It is 5 o'clock. What now?

>>7486155

One wonders if they'll think to check outbound ships for us...

Perhaps one night we should blast the testicles off some gate guard-- make it look like we left via the gate.

>>7486168

Let's keep the bag of our magical items (the tome, knife, amulet, etc.) with us at all times.
Then go back for the other reagents.

>>7486168
Practice telekinesis in you room then turn in for the night, Today was a pretty harsh day after all. and laying low is probably the best bet.

>>7486170
hey man, get it right

we FEEL testicles
we EXPLODE cocks

>>7486168
lay low on the ship for now

any way we can rest until nightfall?
do we have enough stuff to practice any other spells?
maybe telekinesis?

>>7486188
This. Definitely. We can always get new reagents-- that tome and the notes are invaluable.

>>7486199
>>7486189
>>7486202
You cannot practice spells on the ship - too open. You share a room with the other sailors.

>>7486203
>>7486188
You have two bags of reagents as well as all your other possessions, save your armor and spear

>>7486209
how many other sailors?

>>7486209

Well, Atleast we will have fun once we set sail, But for now Sleep for the night then.

>>7486212
Twenty.
>>7486219
You sleep and wake up early again. It is around 6:00 AM.

What do you do now?

>>7486243

Go and get the other stuff from the Hideout, Be sneaky about it.

>>7486211

We could get to bed early...
Or go back for the other bags of reagents (keeping the tome, etc with us at all times.)
Or go to blast the cock off a gate guard.

Are we so tired that our spell-maintaining may suffer?

rolled 3, 4, 16, 13, 9, 3, 20, 16, 18, 13, 4, 4, 17, 18, 4, 13, 19, 19, 18, 8 = 239

>>7486243
SEDUCE

ALL OF THEM

INDIVIDUALLY

we'll need friends for the coming adventure

>>7486254
We should definitely do the Gate-Guard diversion, but when?

>>7486260

The day we set sail, Too make them think we havn´t left town yet.

>>7486260
if we DO decide to do that, it should be at night

maybe tonight?

>>7486255
Fuck you, that will take too much time. Just fuck you.

>>7486285

Fuck... us.
*licks his wet lips*

>>7486285
awh, fine

let's go get some food at a stall and spend the rest of the day studying magic, then

>>7486295
You buy a lot of food. You are down to 20 coins.
What would you like to practice? Minor telekinesis? Perhaps try to identify some reagents (I don't know how) and cast a bigger spell?

>>7486255
>>7486285

Awww, i liked that idea, Those 4 days are long time after all.
And those regeants arn´t going anywhere.

>>7486320
let's go for new spells

we have days to practice

>>7486320

We can identify the reagents from descriptions of them in perhaps... a dictionary of magical reagents. (Lick the Merck Index.)

For now, we should probably practice telekinesis.
Anti-magic armor can't prevent rocks from falling on it.

>>7486320
REGEANTS. REGENTS. LET'S LEARN HOW TO HURL FIREBALLS. MAIM AND BURN AND KILL AND MAIM AND BURN AND KILL.

>>7486320
Practice Telekinesis, If we can get it down we can carry alot more then we should be able too, Catch arrows midair and grab weapons from afar, Far too handy too ignore just yet.

>>7486329
For the other spells (teleportation, becoming two-dimensional, and the lightning spell) you need reagents. You need to be able to identify reagents. How do you plan on doing this?

>>7486337
>>7486342
Telekinesis. We can even use it as mage armor if we get good enough.

>>7486350
You start off practicing telekinesis, with the wooden wand. You don't want to risk destroying a house with the rod. Or do you?

Anyway, this cantrip is more difficult to learn than the other two. Roll a d20 to see if we can learn in.

>>7486347
fuck, the library is probably being watched, too

fine, we perfect telekinesis, then

keep practicing until we have it as well mastered as we possibly can, given our time frame

rolled 1 = 1

>>7486377

I AM MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER BEFORE.
Thinking of Mike's cute anger.

rolled 3 = 3

>>7486377
LEARNING WHILE THINKING ABOUT THAT TIME WE RAPED DAN AND WISHING WE COULD BLOW HIS COCK OFF AND FUCK THE HOLE

rolled 17 = 17

>>7486383

Rolling for blackjack, so I don't cry.

rolled 3 = 3

>>7486385
>>7486383
E-e-e-erectile dysfunction

>>7486383
Oh lawdy, /tg/. Kyle is terribad!
On your first attempt, the spell goes wrong. There is a short, zapping sound. Suddenly, you feel as if electricity is being passed through your body. You feel a spasm, and drop to the ground. You can see your wand is engulfed in purple fire, but does not seem to be burning.

rolled 10 = 10

>>7486403

THAT FELT FUCKING GOOD.
We are a masochist now.
Slaanesh helps us.
For the second try!

rolled 8 = 8

>>7486403
wait, did we fail so hard that we win?

try to pick up the wand, does it hurt us? did we make it stronger?

try casting again!

DICK GOD GUIDE US

rolled 2, 19, 12 = 33

>>7486403
TRY AGAIN (Roll 1)
AGAIN (Roll 2)
AND AGAIN. (Roll 3)

>>7486412
You're still twitching a bit. Do you want to attempt to grab the purple-flaming wand and give it another go?

>>7486417
>>7486413
>>7486412
apparently

rolled 19 = 19

>>7486418

I am rolling for Slaanesh's purple flame of joy to guide us to a Telekinetic Victory.

So yes.
HARDER!

>>7486434

After this, start worshipping Slaneesh, It´s pretty obvious she is our Guardian Deity after all.

>>7486425
You grab the wand. It feels...weird. You attempt to cast telekinesis again. This time, the wand spews a blast of purple fire, hitting an old bookshelf. The bookshelf simply collapses into dust. The fires leave the wand.

You try again, and this time successfully manage to move some rubble around before losing the spell. You eat a bit, and try again, again succeeding. You are on your way to mastering Minor Telekinesis!

Oh, and your still feeling kinda twitchy.

>>7486442

Do we remember what we did to create the purple flame?
That could be VERY useful.

>>7486442
How long did it take, What is the time?

If there is more time we might as well continue.

>>7486441
let's not bring deities from other realms into this

we have enough problems on our own

>>7486442
I KNEW WE'D BE GREAT

OUR POWERS OF BEING TERRIBLE SEEPED INTO OUR POWERS OF RAPE TO MAKE US A CHAMPION MADE OF RAPE MAGIC

>>7486441
I don't know much about Warhammer, let alone Slaanesh. IRC, it's the Chaos god of sexual perversion, drug usage, and anything else that FEELS GOOD MAN, right? That's as far as my knowledge extends.

rolled 10 = 10

>>7486464

Sacred number 9, favorite color Purple.
I will roll a 9.

>>7486471

Thank you dice. *sigh*

>>7486457
You're still practicing at it. It is 1 o'clock.
>>7486453
>>7486462
You aren't completely sure what you did, and even if you are masochistic, the seizure thing was extremely unpleasant and very incapacitating. You are still feeling twitchy, and are beginning to think that this may be a permanent side-effect.

>>7486471
10

a stick and a hole

our two favorite things

WE ARE BECOME GOD OF RAPE

>>7486471
Oh my fucking god I lol'd hard.

>>7486477
Make note not to try that agai, After all, If Slaneesh wants us, She WILL find us.

>>7486477

Side-effect?!
You mean we can vibrate our penis now!
YES!

After a few more hours of practice, you're pretty sure you've gotten this spell down. Do you wish to go back to the ship? Sleep here? Try Telekinesis with the Runed Rod? Break into the library after it closes? Blow up some cocks? Something else?

>>7486499

No rod inside.
Perhaps sleep here, barricade the door.
Next morning we can get the rest of our stuff to the ship, and create a diversion before sailing the next day.

>>7486499
let's try breaking into the library, our telekinesis spell and our new RAPE-FUELED MAGIC may come in handy

and new spells will mean more power

I want to get to the point where we can throw people around like those other wizards did to us

>>7486522

There's probably nothing much *in* the library.
Magic is banned-- why would they keep magic books there?

>>7486527
we'd use it to identify the reagents, just like last time

once we do that we can use the notes to work on spells

>>7486522
I believe we may already be more powerful than him, heh. Bad guard, excellent wizard.

>>7486532
Last time we got a *translation dictionary*-- it had nothing to do with magic. Just translating the Wizard's notes on magic.

Since we're evil now, we must plan on kidnapping Dan and convincing him to become our evil queen.

>>7486542

We're not evil.
We're a badass.

rolled 11 = 11

>>7486499
Go into town, find some pretty, newbie guard, rape and kill him. Use his blood to leave a crazy and stalkerish love letter to Dan on the wall.

>>7486542
no, that's what Mike is for

Dan ratted us out after we had our way with him

Dan will suffer a long and horrible death

>>7486536
but didn't we use the library to help us identify reagents as well?

if not then let's sleep

>>7486536
>>7486532
>>7486527
The library has a very limited selection of tomes relating to magic. No tomes on how to do it, more like dissertations on magic or explaining how it works, or other things. They require special permission to obtain, normally. They are there for royalty, the Governor and guards to access for help against it. People who check out the books are often watched by the guard, and imprisoned if they seem to be getting in a little over their head. There may very well be something in there for reagents.

Hooooley shit, y r u so gay /tg/?

>>7486569
hmm... I kinda like the whole murdering a guard idea

LET'S DO IT

let's rest until nightfall, and head to the front gate through various back alleyways

let's remind them who they're messing with

>>7486569

Seems to be too dangerous a risk.
They've likely doubled the guard on magical books knowing a rouge wizard is around.

Unless-- does the guard know we're a wizard? We haven't exactly shown anything magical to them, aside from the floating bags.

>>7486566
Making Dan serve his rapist is more fun. Especially if we can succesfully indoctrinate him.

>>7486587
well they know we were the last people to see the late captain alive, and that afterwards we were nowhere to be found and some bags magically floated out of the room

>>7486587
Not for sure, though Brandon saw you carrying reagents to your old hideout.
>>7486586
You rest for a few hours, then leave. You make your way to the main gate.

As usual, there are two guards on foot, though there are definitely more in the guard towers. There's a young, cute looking boy, and an older (though not 'old') guy with sideburns. You have both wands and your rod, and your club.

>>7486603

Can we use the telekinetic rod to knock one tower into the other?

Also-- range on the ERECTION spell? Can we explode their cocks from stealth?

rolled 13, 4 = 17

>>7486603
Use illusion to lure the boy away from his partner.

Rape him and kill him, carve a love letter to Dan on the body. Make it sound as crazy and stalkerish as possible.

First roll for the illusion, second for overpowering the boy in a fight.

>>7486612
Range is about 10 feet. If you stay to the shadows and make a successful stealth check, you might be able to do it from stealth. Both guards have torches, it is night time (around 10 o'clock).
>>7486612
Even with the enhanced powers from the rod, there is no way you could use your cantrips to knock a tower over, unless you want to get close to it and blast a bunch of holes in it with Enhanced Minor Explosion.

>>7486616

Overpowered by a child?

Let's try to convince him on raping US

Rolling

rolled 6 = 6

>>7486616
>4
FUCK. All right, rolling for subduing him with telekinesis.

>>7486627

Cocks, sorry for the typo

rolled 10 = 10

>>7486622
grab a nearby rock and invisible it with our illusion powers

throw it ahead of them, when one of them goes to investigate, we strike with our cock exploding power

>>7486627
>>7486636

We may begin to HATE you to death, you know.
It seeps through the screen.

>>7486616
You successfully cast the illusion with the help of the rod. You look like a beautiful blond now, in a sexy dress. You walk right up to the young man and say. "Hey there sexy, why don't you come with me?" The boy turns red and stammers. "I-I'm on d-duty, ma'am..." You grab his cock through his pants and give it a little tug. "Come on, just for a moment..."

The sideburns guy shouts to his comrade "If you don't fuck her, I will!" he says laughing.

What do you do?

Perhaps we can use telekinesis to snuff their torches out!
Then explode their cocks.

>>7486648
drag him back into the alleyway

the darkest one we can possibly find

once we have him where nobody can see, gag him and blow his cock off!

rolled 19 = 19

>>7486648

Lead him off out of earshot.
He is obviously inexperienced, and we're GOOD at giving blowjobs.

We give him one, while he's in the throws of pleasure, we cock explosion him while sitting on his face.
Smother him to death.

>>7486671
>>7486671
YES

A MORE FITTING PLAN COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MADE

GODS OF RAPE WE ARE

>>7486671
Oh YES. Facesitting, and cock explosions. And a 19.

>>7486671
>>7486656
You lead him away into an alley. "Ma'am, I have a girlfriend, plea-" You put your hand over his mouth and go down on him, stealthily drawing the rod. As he comes close to his climax, you begin casting the spell. You back off right as you complete the spell, and the moans of agony suddenly turn to groans of pain.

You drop the illusion, and the boy looks even more horrified. Then, you see the worst thing you've ever seen. The kid's cock rapidly grows to the size and color of an eggplant. Then it slowly begins to split, before popping like a melon dropped from a tall building. The boy starts screaming, but you sit on his face and smother him with your ass while he bleeds out.

Roll for save against SAN damage. Watching that cock explode was fucking horrid. I almost feel bad typing that out.

>>7486703
sanity?

WE ARE KYLE THE GREAT

RAPER OF OUR FORMER BEST FRIENDS

WE HAVE NO SANITY

rolled 2 = 2

>>7486703

SAN Damage? Fuck you. We *are* Slaanesh.
I will roll a 9000.

>>7486715
>>7486717

This is somewhat true.
We've already raped and murdered our former friends by skullfucking.

>>7486715
>>7486717
Alright, alright, no SAN damage. You've convinced me.

But suddenly, you hear the other guard coming down the alley behind you. "Jack?" he calls, "I heard ya screamin'. You alright? Or is that how you sound when you blow your load?" you hear him chuckle. You dash into the back of the alley before the man sees you. His eyes fall upon the corpse of his comrade. "Oh good gods!" he says, retching. "They..this...oh gods!" He turns and runs back, dropping his torch on the ground.

What do you do?

>>7486742
LOVE LETTER. NOW. MAKE IT SCARY AS HELL.

>>7486742

I doubt we can blast his cock off.

Let's leave a stalker message to Dan, then disappear into the night, back to our apartment.

>>7486761
>>7486759
Using the tip of the kid's spear, you take off his clothes and carve a letter to Dan on his chest.

What do you write?

>>7486761
>>7486759
THIS

>>7486765
WE'RE COMING FOR YOU AND KYLE TOO

♥MIKE

>>7486765

"Dan, all of this for you. They are just meat to me, you are my heart. I need you. Can't live without you. I can always see you."

>>7486781
Sign it as Mike. heh

>>7486781
...♥MIKE

let's get them off our trail

>>7486765
"Ooooh Dan, my dear love, i want your body so much. WHY DO YOU REJECT ME? DONT YOU NOTICE MY SUFFERING? ITS ALL YOUR FAULT DAN, BUT I STILL LOVE YOU.
I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you. I WILL COME BACK TO YOU DAN, AND I WILL LOVE YOU, AND WE WILL BE TOGETHER. I promise it my dear love."

Something like this. I'm not good at writing insane love letters.

>>7486781
Fuck my idea, use THIS.

>>7486799
Your version is fine too. Much more insane, at least.

>>7486813
The other one is much more insane. His is just rather manic.

>>7486781
>>7486778
Combining. You write the crazy letter from >>7486781 and sign it as Mike. Then, you steal off into the night. You get away in the nick of time, as you look back, a group of guards enter the alley.

You make your way to your apartment and fall asleep.

I'm pressing F5 BUT IT DOES NOTHING.

>>7486830
I <3 this thread, and you too /tg/!
You wake up, this time pretty late as you were really tired last night. The time is about 8 o'clock.

What do you do?

>>7486827

Next day is the day the ship sets off? Or is it the day after.
We should get the rest of our things to the ship under cover of illusion. We should be getting very good at that.

>>7486842
Ship sets sail tommorow.

rolled 19 = 19

>>7486841
get some grub and practice some more magic

more telekinesis!

also, barricade the door if it isn't already

rolling for delicious telekinesis learnin'

>>7486827
Eh, should've signed it as Kyle. Dan would've got a heartattack next time he met Kyle the Great.

>>7486846

Time to get the rest of the things to the ship.
Only two bags of reagents-- do the whole trip under full illusion.
Tiring, but we should be good enough to do it.

>>7486854
This first, then this:
>>7486859

>>7486854
You go out into the city, and the first thing that strikes you are the wanted posters. They are all over the place - on every wooden door and fence,

You go closer. They have crude drawings of Mike, and the same description paragraph, as well as possible motives. Each one if made by a different hand, the whole guard force must have been working on this!
The list of crimes includes murdering the captain, so their blaming him for it too!

You are not completely blameless though. Under a list of possible accomplices, you are number one, before most of what you presume is Mike's family.

>>7486899
Murder another young and pretty guard. Use his blood to write "Don't listen to Mike, I am the one who truly loves you Dan, and i will dispose of everything that stands in the way of our love. Take care <3. Kyle".

Lets give Dan nightmares about insane murderers stalking him.

rolled 7 = 7

>>7486899
grab some food and then >>7486854 and THEN >>7486859

>>7486899

>>7486932
YAY

MYSTERIOUS VOICE IS BACK

Told you we had no sanity

>>7486916
After this
>>7486869
You go to a docks bar, and buy some grub for 5 coins. You now have 15 coins left for the ship. You go home, barricade the door, and pull out your implements.

Do you want to continue practicing telekinesis with the wand? Or switch to the rod?

You guys are fucked up.

>>7486938
NO U ASSHOLE! NO U!

>>7486937

Perhaps use just our hands-- no rod or wand.
So we can learn to do it cleverly.

>>7486937
we'll us the rod to try and lift a peebble or something

something that won't 'cause too much attention when it goes flying around

>>7486954
>>7486957
Gimme a roll for both of these.

>>7486954
This! We need stealth on a ship filled with sailors.

>>7486937
Wand. It's better if we learn the basic spell really well before trying the MAGICALROIDRAGE version.

From now on, just roll if you're choosing to do something like be stealthy or cast a spell. We'll decide what to do from there. Frees up posts.

rolled 11 = 11

>>7486954

TASTE FEAR!

rolled 18 = 18

>>7486957
PEBBLE BULLETS

>>7486671

>>7486977
Not using an implement makes the spell more difficult, though you are not sure why...

Anyway, you manage to lift a piece of wood with the words "DAN + MIKE + KYLE 4EVER" carved in it a few feet off the ground before losing the spell. You continue working on it. You're still twitching - sometimes you twitch when trying to cast the spell and fuck it all up.

>>7486993
well thanks, mysterious voice

you sure lend a hand right when we need it ♥

>>7486987
Your hands begin to physically hurt from keeping them really straight for so long, so you decide to work with the rod. After it charges and fires, the small rock on the ground zooms straight up in the air. You can move it around with ease at extremely high speeds, though maintaining the spell still takes work. You are able to easily control anything, it seems, including large object, like the bags of reagents, the pallet, and the dirty wooden table you scavenged. You cannot target yourself, though.

rolled 5 = 5

>>7486995
Sit down and meditate. Look if you can overcome the twitching with willpower. Think about Dan dressed in a maid outfit and giving you a blowjob.

>>7486995

We will turn the Slaanesh Twitching to our advantage.

>>7487020
You sit down to meditate, only to fall asleep.

Starting a new thread, as this one is getting pretty big too. Archiving as well. I will report back when both tasks are completed.

>>7486995
awesome

let's keep practicing until nightfall, eating whenever we need to and get our shit on the boat by morning

then we sleep/flirt with sailors until we set sail!

savvy?

so would we be considered chaotic evil at this point?

or chaotic neutral?

maybe chaotic good

we are a guard, after all

>>7487058

Alignments do not actually exist.
The closest description is "BADASS."
Subset: "Rape Incarnate."

>>7487071
so... we're pyramid head then?

groovy

NEW THREAD: >>7487084
ARCHIVE LINK: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7485175/

Thanks for all the fun /tg/! On with the quest!