I managed to make use of certain mechanics in Deadlands to make my cyber-armed Zorro clone nearly untouchable in melee.

One of the high points was fencing vampires atop a moving train. I was about heroic as fuck.

Star Wars RPG: Outnumbered 4500 to 1. And they have warships.

Crushed one 36,000 ton ship into -another- 36,000 ton ship using the force.

D&D 3.0: Gravity is optional.

Jumped from a 90' roof onto flagstones at low level, then killed 3 people. Without magic. (9d6 really isn't that much damage, after all)

>>7803972
Wait. You did the Night Train module... and survived?

Your character must have been broken like the Great goddamn Maze.

Dark Heresy. I and a few associates of mine were stranded in the tiresome wastelands of a mining world.

We were camped in the ruins of a small town when the fellow on watch alerted me to the approach of some 200 heavily-armed bandits on motorbikes and light trucks.

To buy my associates time to get our cantankerous, badly damaged vehicle back in operation, I proceeded to the edge of town and climbed to the roof of a building, so that I could address the ruffians as they arrived.

My associates were alarmed to hear a great outbreak of gunfire. To his credit, one of them rushed to my aid. To his surprise, he found me jauntily sauntering back toward them, unharmed and uninvolved in the fighting.

With a few choice words, I had managed to incite a sectarian conflict and succession struggle within the bandit tribe. They were busily slaughtering one another. We got out jalopy working and went on our way, never to hear from them again.

Fellowship is my combat stat.

>>7804018

We blew up the Night Train. I escaped managed to decapitate several vampires, save a fair senorita, and ride off into the sunrise with her sitting side-saddle in my lap.

The rest of the group barely survived, and were a little cross with me for somehow managing to play the same game as them while inhabiting a different genre. They were slogging through a grim western horror story, while I was playing a heroic, romantic adventure!

This was less to do with the character's stats being broken (he was an experienced character, but had no arcane background, and several of the PCs were technically more powerful) than it had to do with him being the LUCKIEST character I have ever played.

Old Deadlands had an open-ended dice system; if you got max on a die, you rolled again and added. This guy routinely got 40s on d12s.

I'm glad it worked out that way. I intended his optimistic, naive outlook to be gradually broken by his experiences; instead, the opposite happened. He became convinced that life was exactly like the stories his sister used to tell him, and he was the hero destined to save the people and receive their adulation. Much posing on rooftops and "FEAR NOT, FOR IT IS I! DON JORGE ANTINO MARTIN VELASCO-CABRALES!" ensued.

I played a a character in a oWoD crossover game with 5 in crafts, 4 in intelligence, and 4 in science. Being a mage helped, but was kinda secondary.

>>7804231

>DON JORGE ANTINO MARTIN VELASCO-CABRALES!

Son, I am appropriating that name.

>>7804313
It practicaly Oozes latin vim.

>>7803853
OH FUCKING FUCK.
THANKS FOR REMINDING.
EVERYONE, WATCH THIS CRAZY NIGGER.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF1F4E_mfs4
FUCKING 18/00 STR+DEX.

>>7804231

You sir, are Awesome.

I had the opposite happen with a vault-dwelling junker PC in a Deadlands HoE campaign.

She sat though J-day in a fallout shelter and popped out thirteen years later, all cheerful and optimistic. Little did she know she was wandering into what amounted to Threads with more roving murder gangs, monsters and Skynet.

>>7804384

Also: Total Pacifist + post-apocalyptic = does not work out so well.

>>7804231

>>7804384

Hey, it didn't all go my way either. Don J.A.M.V.-C.'s storybook view of the world frequently got him in trouble, and he was useless in investigation and mystery segments (except for the times when he'd accidentally do the right thing.)

But the real problem was that, as a Spanish gentleman, he viewed women as treasures to protect, cherish, make sweet love to, and never ever listen to.

This is a problem when the BBEG is female. Although it was pretty funny when I kidnapped her to save her from those wicked men who were using her (her minions.)

"Let me GO you oily-haired brute! What do you think you're doing?"

"Hush now, my dove. You have a man with you now, and I will do the thinking for both of us."


I've had great fun with Deadlands Hell on Earth, too. Tell me of your exploits!

>>7804547
>>"Hush now, my dove. You have a man with you now, and I will do the thinking for both of us."
EXCELLENT!

>>7804547

>"Hush now, my dove. You have a man with you now, and I will do the thinking for both of us."

MAGNIFICENT

>>7804547

>"Hush now, my dove. You have a man with you now, and I will do the thinking for both of us."

Amazing.

>>7804547
>"Hush now, my dove. You have a man with you now, and I will do the thinking for both of us."
DOOD

>>7804565
>>7804578
Zorromind

>>7804565
>>7804578
>>7804599
>>7804601
OH GOD HIVE MIND

>>7804615
Not hive mind if they don't take place at about the same time.

>>7804644
They did though, especially the last two.

>>7804384
Mad Scientist. Pistol-grip flamethrower. Hatgun. Steam Wagon. Belt of nitro bottles. Two bandoleers of dynamite. Always smoking a cigar for his Hankerin', let me light a stick of dynamite one-handed.

FINAL MOTHERFUCKING DESTINATION.
Baphomet had no fucking idea what hit his ass when I jumped on his back and smashed one of my nitro vials. All my shit cooks off, I escort him back to hell.

I remember someone mentioning something here about making a rail gun out of a line of peasants passing rocks to one another in what I believe a D&D 3.5 game

Apparently the idea was that passing a rock or whatever the ammo to another person was made a free action. The result was the object moving a mile in a second

>>7804677
Last two sure. But the others were minutes apart. Enough of this though, this is supposed to be about badass pcs and I derailed it enough.

>>7804547
"Hush now, detchovka. You have a man with you now, and I will do the thinking for both of us."

PC: I want to search for more hit dice
DM: What?
PC: I want more health, so I'm going to search for more hit dice.
DM: Really?
PC: Really.
DM: Fine, if you really want to.
PC: How will I know you're not making this pure autofail?
DM: Fine, I'll write the DC in this piece of paper and put it in the middle of the table.
PC: Okay, everyone will assist?
All other PCs: Sure *Rolls*
PC: *rolls* Okay, I got a 107.
DM: ... What?!?
PC: I got 107 on my search check *unfolds paper*
Paper: DC is 100
PC: So how many did I find, and how big are they?
DM: HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?
PC: Well I... *Shows how he combined several different rules from different books to increase both his Int and Search by ridiculously amounts only further proving that 3.X is broken beyond repair*

>>7804716
Goddamit Putin, stop trying to steal Zorro's thunder!

>>7804717
Your own damn fault for agreeing in the first place.

Yeah, Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales is possibly the most fun character I've ever played, and probably the reason I still consider Deadlands one of the best RPGs.

And here's the part where I lose the audience:

I got involved in a LARP a while ago, and brought the guy back as a crazed Hispanic paladin. It seemed necessary, as everyone was playing brooding, selfish antiheroes or outright villains. I know LARP isn't particularly well-regarded 'round these parts, but if bursting out of the bushes screaming "for JUSTICE" in an outrageous accent and saving some 14-year-old from orcs is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

>>7804742
I don't care if you LARP, Zorro.

>>7804742

It's okay Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales. I love you.

>>7804771
>>7804774
StillBrosmind

>>7804742
Won't hear no complaint for me.

>>7804789

BROFIST.

Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales, Tell us more stories!

>>7804742

I see no problem.

My halfling rogue was scouting the dungeon, as one might expect, he was a sneaky git. So he come across some kobalds guarding a room and playing cards. So instead of the standard sneak back, tell the party, and use standard ambush/slaughter options. I snuck right up to their table, sat down, poored myself a tankard of their booze, and asked to be dealt in. So a while later the party gets bored of waiting around and comes to see if I am okay. The kobalds start to get up pulling their weapons and I go "whoa whoa whoa, it's cool, they're with me" I then proceed to talk them into abandoning their post as we continued to kill everything else in the dungeon. They became reocuring NPCs in the campain. (with us displacing them from their jobs twice and hireing them a different time)

>>7804742
I, for one, see a problem.

YOU ARE NOT CONTINUING YOUR TALES.

>>7804742

>>7804717

DM's fault for not writing FUCK YOU on the paper.

>>7804349
Did you see his abs at 1:30?

If we get another Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales story or two, I nominate this for suptg.

>>7804830

DEEPEST!

BLUEST!

HIS ABS IS LIKE A SHARK'S FIN!

>Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales

this is now the description i will use when referencing good role-playing and awesome stories

>Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Don_Jorge_Antino_Martin_Velasco-Cabrales

>>7804927
i approve of this

If you approve, expand. We need more than just a stub and I'm not much of a writefag.

>>7804978
It is quite simple, really. Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales is The Most Interesting Man in the Deadlands.

I've never played any tabletop games before. I've always wanted to, but could never find a place where they were sold, nor do I keep the kind of company that would be interested.

Recently found a crate full of about 30 or so Dragon Magazine issues, a ton of GURPS books for just about every genre, and a full set of Car Wars with the Tanks and Aeroduel set. Aside from the Car Wars stuff, all this appears to be from the 80's. Is this win?

oh wow. My most epic failing.

Shouldn't it be Jorge Antonio?
Antino is not a spanish name.

>>7805047
Your logic is refuted by the fact that Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales had a duel with vampires on top of a speeding train.

>>7805047

*Shrug* That's how HE wrote down his name.

He'll kick your ass and steal your girl.

>>7805047
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales.

>>7805047
You shut your whore mouth and respect DON JORGE ANTINO MARTIN VELASCO-CABRALES! For is more of a man than you could ever hope to be!

>>7805047
we honestly dont care about the real life workings.

Ok, so.

I'd done some work for the LARP before I made my character, so I got a random draw from a table. Could be some money or potions, could be a magic item if I get really lucky.

Draw max, get +2 damage sword. +3 being plot-relevant-artifacts and so forth. Clearly, I bear the blade of my Grandfather!

But, tragedy looms! All magic items are temporary unless replenished, and the magic of my family's blade will soon fade!

I inquire! It seems a merchant may be able to help me, a slender elven lady whose grace is matched only by her avarice! She has the magic I need to preserve the Blade of Velasco... but how am I to afford it? I care nothing for money, and give all the coin I find to the first needy beggar or winsome wench I come across! Clearly, saving up is not an option.

First, I make an appointment to meet her for business in the tavern at the next month's gathering. Then, I rally my friends. I convince them to aid me, provide them with costuming, outline the plan, practice, practice.

>>7805081
The next gathering, she sits waiting at a table in the center of the tavern. Around her, men are boasting, women are flirting. She sighs. Where is the noble Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales, who promised not to leave her lonely here?

In I stride, my two amigos at my back! They are dressed as orcish mariachis, in sombreros, green, tusks, and ponchos. One bears a guitar, the other maracas.

She regards me suspiciously. "Do you have the money?" she inquires.

"Ah, senorita, money, money, dinero, dinero, it obsesses you so! Tell me, what use is money, if it cannot buy.... amor?"

That is the cue. I leap onto the table, my mariachis begin to play, and I sing "Can't Buy Me Love" in Spanish. With dancing, and pelvic thrusts.

(I don't speak Spanish. I'd had to laboriously translate and memorize the whole thing.)

End result: the tavern erupts in applause, I receive the magic my family's honor requires, the lady blushes crimson, and her archmage boyfriend flips his shit and tries to kill me for serenading his paramour in March, the elven mating season.

>>7805081

Lady.
Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales

I fail to see the problem.

>>7805073
>>7805070
>>7805067
>>7805060
DON JORGE ANTINO MARTIN VELASCO-CABRALES! is serious business.

>>7805027

You just gave every gamer over the age of 30 a raging hard-on. Yes, win.

(If clunky 80s game mechanics aren't to your taste, put the set on EBay.)

>>7805089
>>7805081

edgeofseat.jpg

>>7805089
VICTORY!!!!!

D&D

The party was in a dungeon and our scout (my sexy elf ranger) managed to identify a group of goblin guards inside a torture room. Around 8 against our party of 5 (lulz). We strategized much and within a single turn (the surprise round) managed to kill every single motherfucker, throwing about half of them into an oven courtesy of our fighter. First of all they were asleep (wizard did it) and didn't even realize they were dead until it happened. Also the dwarf cleric rushed in and flipped over a table for no reason whatsoever while screaming loudly.

>>7805089
>>7805081

>>7805089
I cackled gleefully, like a madman, as I read this.

Your awesome cannot be measured in words.

You've done the impossible sir, you've made LARP seem not horrible.

>>7805089
bravo, good anon

>>7805195
Has he also seen the invisible?

>>7805089
You sir, are made of epic

>>7805195
Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales can make anything he wants less horrible.

>>7805232
ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH

>>7805232
ROW ROW LUCHA CONTRA EL PODER

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7803853/

Archived for your approval.

>>7805089
Is this Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales?

>>7805341
I cannot begin to tell you just HOW wrong you are doing it.

>>7805341
Bizarro Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales?

>>7805341
No, my friend. This picture is more accurate.

>>7805373

Nah, that's his grandfather, who first held the Blade of Velasco.

>>7805373
The Most Interesting Man in the Deadlands?

>>7805369
No, that's Anton Martin Giorgio Velasco-Cabrales.

He's kind of the black sheep of the family.

>>7805089
>I receive the magic my family's honor requires
>my family's honor
>honor

DON JORGE ANTINO MARTIN VELASCO-CABRALES. SHOW ME YOUR HONOR

DON JORGE ANTINO MARTIN VELASCO-CABRALES, he is a hero of /tg/ honor him.

>>7805526

NO YOU SHOW ME YOUR HONOR. MY HONOR DEMANDS IT.

>>7805697

NO, YOUR OTHER HONOR!

Heh, Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales is a lot of fun to play, but I don't suggest him as a role model. Reckless pursuit of magnificent glory can have terrible consequences.

This took place several years ago, in the Deadlands game.

The party arrived in a town that was gradually falling under the sway of an evil priest. The DM thought that this would provide conflict and interesting roleplaying; could Don Antino, a Mexican and therefore a Catholic, attack a man of the cloth? How long would the evidence mount and the wicked man's influence spread before Don Antino admitted his preconceptions were wrong?

I helpfully pointed him to the character backstory I had given him for his notes, wherein it was mentioned that the house of Velasco-Cabrales had in fact been forced to leave Spain because they were Protestant, and as a result Don J.A.M.V.-C. was not favorably disposed towards Catholics.

At the first hint of devilry, I led the uncorrupted half of the town into battle with the false Father's flock, exhorting them to valor and slaughter. "Cut down the decadent Papists," I cried! "DEATH TO THE POPE!"

At that point, our host's wife stuck her head in from the next room, where she'd been watching the news.

"Pope John Paul just died," she said.

Years later, my friends haven't stopped giving me crap for killing the pope. Every time the new one makes a speech about how condoms are the devil's work, I get a glare.

Roleplay with caution, my friends. Roleplay with care.

>>7805708

GOATSE.JPG

>>7805714
build plox

First time I ever played, I was a Dwarf Rogue, my friend a Human Cleric- I had a Dwarven Waraxe, he had a Morningstar (Evil Campaign, he was a Cleric of Erythnul, got bonuses for using his deity's preferred, blahblahblah). We're at level one, first ever dungeon crawl, first ever anything D&D related for me and my Cleric friend. So the party is running around the dungeon very stupidly- we split up, didn't use any skill finding skills or anything. But near the end, I'm at on end of a 5 foot wide hall. Down at the other end, 12 squares away, was the Cleric.
Our DM, being pretty awesome and somewhat lenient about rules, allowed us to flank the 8 goblins crammed in the hall.

And then there's my new favourite thing for 4e- Barbarian+Stonebreaker+Less than average INT&WIS=Much game breaking

>>7805714
DON JORGE ANTINO MARTIN VELASCO-CABRALES KILLED THE POPE!!!!!!!!!!

>>7805750
DON JORGE ANTINO MARTIN VELASCO-CABRALES may have killed the pope, but how many more innocents would the pope have converted if it weren't for DON JORGE ANTINO MARTIN VELASCO-CABRALES.
Thank you for saving us all DON JORGE ANTINO MARTIN VELASCO-CABRALES.

>>7805750

Not in Deadlands. In real life.

Mere nonexistance cannot stay his blade of justice!

>>7805381
The Blade of Velasco will be a legendary artifact in my next game.

>>7805820

It must compel the wielder to dashing heroism, and grant bonuses when he behaves appropriately. Appear on a rooftop, pose, and bellow your full name before jumping down to fight? +2 attack that fight. Also, no encumbrance penalty for carrying a distressed damsel over your shoulder or across your saddle.

>>7805885
You read my mind.

>>7805885
For women it is never more than a mere +1 blade, unless they are a lesbian and manage to pull of the "Hush now, my dove. You have a man with you now, and I will do the thinking for both of us." line.

>>7805820
This should not just be in one game, this must be an artifact that transcends time, space and dimensions.

When next a team of acolytes charge headfirst into a den of Khornate demons, one shall clutch the exulted powerblade of Velasco.

When next a Paladin faces off against his archfoe, a lich of incalculable evil and his undead minions, in his hand shall sit the sword of Velasco, shouting encouragements towards daring feats in it's native tongue.

Across the depths of space float an armada of evil warships bent on destroying our world, but the fleet shall turn them back, with the grand flagship "Velasco's Blade" heading the charge!

Two martial artists of skill capable of crushing whole armies by themselves face off over a field with a bed of falling petals at their feet, the victor shall be the one holding the mystic sword "Velasco's edge".

In the far, dystopian future we all know is coming, a warlord will topple at the hand of a handful of brave souls, the bravest of them all holding the antique weapon "Velasco's ancestral blade".

Before facing off against the grand sith lord, a Jedi, for reasons known only to the force, shall dub his lightsaber "The Velascoian".

As an army of mechs stomp across the landscape, the bold, outnumbered resistance shall rally behind one man, one man who in his mech's hand holds an archaic, oversized blade. It is an outdated weapon, and while his mech holds it it cannot hold another gun. But my friends, with that blade he shall secure the future and the freedom of the world.

Velasco's sword will live on through time, and space.

Somebody else wants to make DON JORGE ANTINO MARTIN VELASCO-CABRALES a deity of /tg/ yet?

>>7805984

Don't think we have a god of Swashbuckling...

>>7805992

We sure as hell do NOW!

>>7805885

If the blade is wielded by one coming to the defense of a helpless maiden (open to interpretation, I suppose), it should grant extra bonuses and damage resistance.

The Hat of Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales

+2 CHA.
Increases likelihood of receiving head

a friend of a friends game had to reach this town, but they learned about an army of 10,000 undead warriros approaching, so the group split up, half to warn the city and theother half to stall. A Paladin , a druid and a Cleric were left. So they devised a plan. They managed to bait the army into a valley. So the Duid Casts, " summon rainstorm" and the Cleric usues " bless water" Holy rainstorm. The Paladin charges in and finishes the stragglers.

All 3 characters were retired from the XP gain.

>>7806044

That's included in the +2 Cha, dude =P

How about:

The Hat of Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales
+10 to Perform (serenade)
+5 to all other Charisma-based Social checks

>>7806060

The Blade of Velasco-Cabrales

This magnificent blade bears within it the psychic resonance of an ancient hero, providing the wielder with some defense against psychic attack, but subtly altering his behavior.

Unique best-quality powersword
1d10+8 Energy damage, 8 penetration
Power Field, Balanced
+10 attack, +15 parry

-"It is I!"

The wielder is Fearless, but may automatically pass the willpower test to leave combat if rescuing a female or exiting in what the GM deems a dramatic manner (eg. crashing out the window of a hive spire into a passing hovercar.)

If the wielder spends his action making a stirring speech, he gains two additional reactions that round, and a +20 bonus on all dodges, parrys, and counterattacks (if he has the counterattack talent) made before his next turn.


-"Hush now, my dove. You have a man with you now, and I will do the thinking for both of us."

If the wielder of the blade is affected by a mental attack (such as a psychic effect, possession, or even a charm roll with the benefit of unnatural fellowship) from a female, the effect does not work as normal. If the female is unattractive, the effect simply fails. If the female is attractive (to the rather broad-minded spirit of the sword, which does not consider xenos origin, chaos tattoos and spikes, navigator warp-eyes, and less hideous mutations to be obstacles to romance) the effect does not take place as normal; instead, the bearer of the sword becomes enamored of the lady in question, and attempts to "take her away from all this." He gains immunity to her psychic powers, the benefits of unnatural toughness 3 against her attacks, +40 on opposed grapple checks against her, and +20 on all other opposed rolls against her. These effects continue for 48 hours or until the GM determines they should end.

>>7806244

I approve of this entirely.

IT MUST GO ON THE WIKI

>>7806244
>>7806257

Add +30 to Fellowship tests against the target of "Hush now, my dove."

>>7806244

How does it feel to be idolized by thousands of men and women alike, possibly millions in the future, Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales? To be remembered forever for your heroic deeds (and terrific storytelling)(and tremendous balls)? To have people across the globe honor you in tribute by creating items bearing your family name?

The only unfortunate side effect of the existence of the dashingly heroic Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales, is that every other roleplayer now pales in comparison and the bar is set higher than many can hope to ever reach. All new stories just seem dull and boring now.

>>7806244
See...I have a noble character. Who behaves like that already (when he can get away with it without dying). So this would just be hilariously overpowered and merely encourage his shenanigans.

Uuhhh...

I've already told you guys about Lucky many times. The guardsman that can do anything as long as there is a very good chance it will kill her instantly. She has been remindwiped and turned into a now equally awesome cleric(bitch REFUSES to fucking die), but the game went on hiatus.

There is Saralin.. wandering monk corrupted with demonic blood. Turned into a drunk master and always made her entrances by jumping on the nearest table(or elevated location) and dancing and singing(badly). Annoyed quite a few into just attacking her outright. That never ended well for the attacker. Don't fight a drunken dancing master hopped up on enough booze to kill a walrus(damn demon blood). Always refused to use her demon powers and improve on them to her own detriment. Managed to win every fight anyway by using the terrain.

"Using the terrain" mostly consisting of flipping objects over(what she was dancing on) to use it as cover and promptly smashing the enemy's face in with said table on her next attack. Also lots of throwing improvised weapons.

>>7806864
She also hit on people. Constantly. Badly. Horrifically. Then never delivered the goods. She'd skip out if someone started showing interest in her. Giant cocktease.

And a bunch of other demon corrupted had a clan. You become corrupted and become part of the clan. Only by the time Saralin came around they were all but dead(people hunting evil jerkass monsters? THE DEVIL YOU SAY). She was begged to become the new leader because of her sheer balls to the wall badassness. She was even the weakest demoniacally speaking from never having bothered to use her demon powers. They could have been great. Terrible. They could have risen to power and ruled with an iron fist under Saralin's laid back "I don't give a fuck. don't make me kick your ass" leadership.

She didn't hesitate a moment in giving her answer.

"Hell no."

Then she went back to drinking.

You idiots know that the "do the thinking for both of us" is a direct rip from Casablanca, right?

>>7807055
You know we don't care, right?

>>7807066
Just making sure that no-one thinks it is an original line.

>>7807073

>Implying quoting Bogart makes you LESS awesome.

This thread is disturbingly manly.

>>7806060
Bless water has a range of "touch". Stupid DM.

>>7807211

Does it distress you, my dove? Worry not. Simply relax, feel the strong surge of the horse beneath you, and my arms around you a I carry you away from your cares. Let your concerns drift away; your man will deal with the troubles of the world, and you need worry about nothing but being beautiful for me and massaging my firm, sweat-sheened latin muscles.

>>7807280
God damn it, it works! For a moment there I wanted to be that girl.

Truly endless is the power of masculinity.

>>7807306

Why do you love Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales?

Because compared to him, you are the little girl.

>>7807280
*shiver and throaty moan*

>>7807272
You are the manliest girlboy anyway so...

>>7807349
>Fuuka
>Manly

DOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!

>>7807375
wat

>>7807371
:3

Well shit, yet another decent thread that descended into namefag circlejerking.

Welcome to /totally gay/ :(

>>7807395
>Half the thread is namefag

>No-one posts anything relevant for half an hour.

>Derp

BAD PENIS, BAD. NO GETTING UP AT /TG/ FAGGOTRY. D:

We need more stories of this DON JORGE ANTINO MARTIN VELASCO-CABRALES!

>>7807383
>>7807349
Wouldn't Russ be the manliest girlyboy? Seeing as he's totally manly... and a girl?

>>7807420
No-one knows what's under his skirt so...

>>7807435
What the hell did I just walk into.

At some point I need to sit down with the logs and work up what happened in Doomgame VII (a.k.a "The Adventures of Dr. Richard Beltway) into something readable.

>>7807408
I'm posting things on topic!

No one is paying attention though.

>>7805714
I laughed so hard I crushed my beer.
Don J A M V-C killed a pope.

>>7807435
>>7807420
Just imagine I'm posting that glare pic.

>>7807474
I silently laughed hard enough that I choked myself trying not to wake people up.

>>7807498
And then Fuuka fucked up the entire thread.
GodDAMN it.
Don J A M V-C, can you defeat this vile, ugly, poorly mannered creature?

>>7807533
>She fucked up the entire thread
Unintentional double entendre detected.

Whats the name of the pose in the op's pic, I know it has one, but I can't remember. It's not a dragon flag is it?

>Some of the things you peoples come up with.

>>7807564
>she
I have some bad news for you, bro.

Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales!
save us from this torrent of crap!

we beg of you, regale us with more glorious tales!

>>7807701
I understand there's ambiguity about 'her' actual gender, and am only using it because I'm too lazy to compensate by calling Fuuka 'it,' or 'hir.'

Some Helga for your troubles.

There is, for this, only one solution. I must rape it better.

>>7807721

Ah, senorita, it is no use. They do not listen, they do not see... and to amuse them, to spite them, you deny yourself.

You say you are el gato... but this, this is not the truth. Listen to my voice, senorita. Let it roll over and through you, waking the deep part of you which you deny. For you are woman; I smell it in your faint perfume, your subtle musk. It hangs upon the air, honest in a way you cannot yet be.

Come with me, senorita. In truth, my breath is heavy from climbing to your window... You can hear it, can you not? The climb was nothing, and I can easily return with you held firm and safe in my dark-tanned, smooth-muscled arms. My horse waits below, ready to bear us far from here, to a hidden place where we will have the time we need... time for my strong hands, soft voice, and rock-like manhood to wake the truth of you screaming to the surface.

Do not worry, senorita. Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales is here for you now.

>>7807728
try "he"
or "douchebag faggot that makes sergalfag look good"
either are excellent choices.
I'd sage this but the Don is more awesome than Fuuka is lame. And that is a goddamn miracle.
Fuuka: This pic's for you, babe.

>>7807533
>>7807564
>>7807701
>>7807728
For the record, I'm a guy who has no idea who Fukka is.

>>7807817
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Troll

>>7807764
...I want a crazy latino lover now...

>>7807767
It's useless to rage. I don't even really notice Fuuka anymore, I don't care enough.

>>7807764
pic related
my face when this post turned me gay.

>>7807877

it's okay, bro.

latinos are like elves, only more elegant.

>>7807851
HEY BLACKHEART HEY BLACKHEART?!

>>7807855
Amen, brother, amen.
I wish I had something to contribute but if I ever had a character as awesome as the Dom I raged it out of my brain.

>>7807937
W-what?

>>7807996
I WAS JUST WONDERING HOW WELL YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

AND IS IT WITH AN ADORABLE ACCENT?

I BET IT IS

>>7808005
Well, I could converse with a Scottish chick and a guy from New-Zealand pretty well. I learned english from Cartoon Network, had it in english a long time ago and I watched it like 10 hours a day when I was little. Parents started getting nervous so they wanted to cancel it, then I randomly started speaking english. Later when I had my first english language class I made the teacher go home for a vocabulary because she didn't understand what I was speaking : D.

Accent... uhhh... I dunno, probably have it.

>>7807918

You misjudge me, senorita. There is in my heart no malice. I do not look upon you as the others do.

You say they hurt you. You are here for the pain, senorita? No. No, I think not. I think you long for what waits on the other side of the pain. The anticipation, she is torture. The knowing, the fear. But the pain, when she comes, is but a moment of brightness... a crack of sound, a flash behind your eyes as my hand strikes your plump, reddening rump... and afterwards, sweet peace. There is fear, yes, as I approach you, so tall and dark, looming above you, pressing you down, and you know well what is coming... the pain, the fear, they build. You shake as my weight lowers onto you, and let out a sweet gasp, and as it happens, you finally realize there is nothing you can do... and therefore nothing you need do... and you are perfectly free.

>>7808101
Stop... posting...

>>7808101

>>7808117

You know you want to see what Don Jorge Antonio Martin Velasquez-Cabrales will do to tame and pleasure Fuuka, as he rips off his shirt, revealing glistening tanned pectorals, seemingly bathed in olive oil, bends Fuuka backwards at the waist, and ravashes that miscreant into cooperation and wholesomeness, all with the glory of his latin charm.

I think I need to write a romance novel now...

>>7808157

>>7808117

You now realize you are on the verge of fapping to a gay assassin elf.

>>7808157
I... do...

>>7808157
No, write DD7.
Fuuka can be cultist.
For once it'll be a DD that /tg/ can actually get behind.
>double entendre
Oh, and before I forget.... Fuuka. Is worse. Than sergalfag. And scaredofshadows. Combined.
Fuuka == Jim Profitt. And will, hopefully, see the same end.

>>7808188
That would imply that I haven't fapped to that delicious slimeball before.

>>7808205
you're a depraved little leech, blackheart

>>7808241
You threaten to rape people with your girl penis enough I figure every one must know what you are by now.

>>7808241
wouldn't lock you in a cage, fuuka

would just drop you off downtown with $20 and a bag of beef jerky

>>7808258
>Fuuka. Profession: streetworker

>>7808241
Spankings, you say? Poke in the eye, you say?

I'm in.

>>7808265
he could sleep in a tent, yeah?

it would have a space heater and air conditioning

I'd drop by once a day to give him some food

NOW SEE HERE YOU SAUCY LATIN FIREBRAND!

I'LL HAVE NONE OF THIS! HAVE AT THEE!

>>7808188

I'd hit it.

>>7808273
you dog~

>>7808268
I've been trying to behave lately

I was hoping maybe tomorrow... you guys could treat me like a real person, yeah?

friday I'll probably walk into my demise

>>7808274
Hey Russ. Russ. You, me, that guy and the lovely Fuuka: Foursome? y/y

My sexual fantasy is having all the name- and tripfags tied up next to eachother, heads down and asses up, while I fuck them in the ass.

>>7808241

Dear senorita, a gentleman would never ask, and you need not concern yourself with trivialities. Instead, you must concern yourself only with the role in which you now find yourself.

Do not worry of what minor things these ingrates and slobs say. Do not worry of the places you have been, but rather look to where you shall go, by my side.

Smile, senorita, for here you step down the path of amor. Be only as beautiful as you can be, and worry not of inconsequential things. Instead, I shall arrange matters to my liking, and you will find them perfect, I assure you. Merely be the best woman you can be, senorita, and Don Jorge Antonio Martin Velasco-Cabrales will handle the world.

>>7808117

Stop posting, senorita? No. That is not what you want. You want to give me a way to contact you. But you are afraid. We play a game, you and I, no? A game of nerves. How much is fantasy, how close to real will we let it come?

Is bueno. Love the fear, and let it love you. Feel it twisting, deep within you. Shivering down your arms, trembling on your lips. It is life!

>>7808241

What you are? I think that is no matter. I think you will be what I ask you to be. I think you are pondering, even now, how you would look in a red flamenco dress with a scarlet flower in your hair.

>>7808308
I love you

>>7808274

RIVAL!

>>7808312

IMPOSTER!


WE DUEL!

>>7808308
Hey, we share fantasies!

>>7808272
Oh you~

>>7808233
About time you realised. :3

Another thread lost to rpfags.
I like rp.
That's why this is my main board. But this isn't right.
FA/TG/UYS
Sage doesn't work it just makes us feel better about ourselves. Reporting works. From now on, due to this kind of idiocy that's only legal on /b/, I'm reporting every post from every rpfag on this board. I ask that all of the rest of us neckbeards do this as well. If some good people have to get banned for the sake of this board, so be it, but this has to stop.
Not saging, I want this seen.

>>7808308
Hmmh. Better button up then. Freakin' anons.

>>7808322
I hope so, that might lessen the pain of having my throbbing manhood ramming into your anus repeatedly.

>>7808326

AGREED, IMPOSTOR. WE SHALL SEE WHO IS THE REAL DON JORGE ANTONIO MARTIN VELSACO-CABRALES! LET THIS DUEL BE SETTLED WITH THE BLOOD OF THE FRAUD! PISTOLS AND SABRES AT DAWN!

>>7808241
I'm going to lock you in a cage so small you can't move. forcefeed you and eventually dine on human Foie gras. maybe then you couldn't shit post.

>>7808328
I actually went and got some beef jerky today because of what you did to me last night

I plan on dying full of beef jerky, and have a steak on friday after work

>>7808335
And thats why people get banned for abusing the report system.

>>7808340
TAKE ME, I'M YOURS

>>7808343

ATOP THE MORNING TRAIN, A SWOONING DAMSEL TIED TO THE TRACKS AHEAD, JUST BEFORE THE UNFINISHED BRIDGE OVER EL CANYON DEL DIABLO!

>>7808363
Sir? We just ran over the lady tied to the tracks. Should we stop to check?

Hey guys wh- Fuck it.

>>7808363

AGREED!

But let us now go for drinks. Just because we are hated enemies and one of us is a usurping liar, is no reason to not be cordial.

>>7808370
< This exchange is going to become a tradition with us isn't it.

>>7808369

Hahah! Fear not! An hour before dawn, I freed the senorita, bore her to safety, ravished her, and placed a cactus in a dress upon the tracks!

And now, HAVE AT YOU!

>>7808382
'Cuz yer pregnant.

>>7808382
Saucy Latin lovin' turned you back into a woman?

I am despairing...

>>7808401
Suddenly wtf.

>>7808409

>No Horo.
>Not real Leman Russ.

>>7808344
>>7808335
I'm sorry.

I'm truly sorry. I tried posting something related to the OP. I did. I shared stories of Saralin. Then I remembered my reverse trap casanova. Then people started getting out of hand. So I posted more to try to keep it on track.

But that made it worse.

>>7808398
Sir, that was last week. I tried to tell you, but you just laughed victoriously and recited poetry.

I'll just call her family now.

>>7808397
Da.

>>7808426
Got a deck of cards or sommin?

>>7808416
Come to think of it, Russ was never that FAAAABULOUS~

>>7808442
>What's a girlboy thing to do?
Oh, I can think of a few things.

>>7808382

The hips, they are vital to the dance, senorita! Swing them! Move yourself with wild abandon, fling yourself into my arms, and then away, knowing you cannot escape my grasp, knowing that you can only ever pantomime your escape. Let motion overtake you, and think of nothing but our bodies.

Supporting.

>>7808450
>>7808442
>>7808416
I cannot compete with such a man, even if I am the manliest wolf-girl Primarch this side of Terra.

Also, I can not post pics, as I lost my drive.

Oh well.

This WAS a good topic, then the circlejerkers moved in.
Thanks LR, SOS, Blackheart, Gelatinous, and friends. You're shittier than ever, in all our books.

>>7808435
Let me check first.

now screening... Сталкер!


http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4947870279914964017&ei=R8hfS-OtMYzMqwLK0cm6CQ&q=Stal
ker&hl=en#

>>7808513
Well fuck your shit, I LIKE the latino casanova!

>>7808515
STALKER, a word of advice. Very pleasant, man-to-man advice.

Do not get into these namefag circlejerk threads. I like you. I think you're cool. But as it is, you're risking becoming a Fuukaesque faggot.

Leave. Leave now.

>>7808513
>all out books
Bag of dicks. Eat one.

>>7808455
...Yeeeeeee.. Nah..

Sorry. It just isn't working for me, sir. I'm not really being swept off my feet like the others. Don't take it personally though. I'm just a fickle bitch.

And I really don't feel like getting into the ROMANTIC SEXY SMACKDOWN on /tg/. It doesn't feel appropriate somehow. Especially after how I already ruined the thread. I tried to revive it with tales of my own.. but no good. I just ruined what should have been allowed to quietly slip off page ten. The thread had already been dead coming on an hour.

I will do everyone a favor and go off. I seem to be the center of the shenanigans. Staying won't do any good.

>>7808551

Partly because of the sexy, and partly because he seems to be trying to take the tripfags away somewhere and lovingly rape them.

Whether you're in favor of the "lovingly," the "rape," or just the "away," it's a cause we can support.

It's interesting how he originally intended to make a Don Quixote character, but ended up being the anti-Quixote. Kudos, Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales.

>>7808557
Ok then. Thank for the advice anon!

>>7809095
>Do not get into these namefag circlejerk threads.
>Do not get into
>Get out of here STALKER

>He volunteered for commando duty, not actually knowing what it entailed, but knowing that it sounded dangerous, and therefore fun. He is best known for saying that "any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed" and, in following with this, for carrying a sword into battle. In WWII. And not one of those sissy ceremonial things the Marines have. No, Jack carried a fucking claymore. And he used it, too. He is credited with capturing a total of 42 Germans and a mortar squad in the middle of the night, using only his sword.

>>7809515
This dude was pissed at the Americans, because he thought without them, the war could have gone on another 10 years.