Wrex doesn't have a clue what is going on but he heard there would be pizza.

[Spoiler]Can't use Spoiler Tags lol[/Spoiler]

>>7915550
Well now I feel stupid.

Shepard is obviously a DMPC and a Mary Sue

Teej is too cool for spoiler tags.

Also, Grunt would be a total rollplayer.

Is it just me or has Tali's voice gotten HOTTER in ME2.

Like, the second piece of dialogue, when she talks about doing research to make it work, and you tell her to hurry up, and she's like "ohhhh... yess... definitely..." SO fucking hot.

Grunt is "that guy".

Tali likes Quarians because they're massively underrated. Unfortunately, she spent so much time obsessing over them that she didn't develop her own character much, and so just ends up being a Quarian encyclopedia.

Kaidan and Grunt are the only people that I really trust. They have issues, but Kaidan worked through them, unlike Subject Zero, who went all crazy chick; and Grunt is a bit more formal, he has issues, but he just wants to work through them to get through 'em.

>>7915557
Nah, not quite a DMPC, but he's best friends with the DM.

Mordin played by a drama nerd who is playing for the sheer fun of role-playing

Legion is the silent one who you think is going to turn out to be a terrible player, but ends up being awesome.

>>7915533
>>7915594

More like Kaidan is played by the guy who plays the same character in every campaign, regardless of setting. Makes sense seeing as Kaidan was really just Carth with BIOTICS

>>7915606
The whole campagn is a gift for his birthday from the GM

Subject Zero is that Chaotic Neutral douchebag player who just wants to kill all the NPCs.

Miranda is played by a man.

Jacob is a NPC.

Exalted + WoD

Powergamer, and has a list next to his character sheet labelled "one-liners"

>>7915557
He got a reaver template applied to his penis. It has an indoctrination field, DM allowed it for the lulz.

Legion is THAT guy. He loves multiple personalities.

If this were World of Darkness, he'd play a Malkavian.

He's so in love with the concept, he came up with a precise number of separate Geth programs, and tallies up how many vote for certain actions, and how many don't.

Thane is played by an old, but sensible old school gentleman. Best player of the group.

Jacob is played by a lowly security guard who is looking for the highest level of escapism he possibly can get while still being able to throw around a certain amount of "lingo" to come off sounding professional.

>>7915585
That's ME1 Tali.
ME2 Tali is the guy who was initially hated because he thought it would be a great idea to try and make an attractive shy virgin but ended up going with it because he actually pulled it off well

Mordin is that guy who plays chaotic good because the DM won't let him be CN.

Jack is the person who just started on RPGs and though that their super-special angsty powerful half-naked character would be a good concept.

Thane is the guy who reads too much Russian literature.

>>7915622
Miranda is totaly played by a man

Even my looks aew aupposed to give me an advantage
... it`s totaly not undermining my authority as an officer that I look like a hooker

Here

Wrex was actually an NPC that you were supposed to kill arrest or kill after the part with Fist but the PCs liked him and decided to bring him along.

The DM tried to write him out on Virmire but the PCs weren't having any of that and made sure he survived. So now he is the leader of the Urdnot clan and the DM says you can't recruit him anymore.

I HATE ORCS

Morrigan constantly second guesses the DM, and is only there becuase the group is the only people willing to put up with her when she wants to leave her mothers house on Friday night.

Kaidan is pissed off at everything, and can't relate to other characters thanks to his loldeep character backstory.
Ashley is the self-righteous lawful stupid paladin
Jenkins doesn't know how to play and died the very first session, didn't come back.
Garrus wanted to be Ashley at one point, then started thinking DANGEROUSLY and wanted to get shit done (the DM likes him, he actually moves the plot along)
Liara is played by some faggot with a ponytail that is convinced that a psionic bard is not the height of faggotry
Wrex is a football player that glorifies the warrior archetype and prefers to solve all problems with violence. This turns out awesome and sometimes tragic.
Grunt is a guy that literally just rolled up about a year into the campaign and is hopelessly lost
Tali is played by a hot foreign girl that should know better, doesn't, and her innocence is a huge boner-magnet despite her frightening natural ability at optimization.
Mordin is played with a guy with ADHD and an iPhone that CANNOT STOP looking shit up / playing sound clips
Thane is played by a guy on loan from the WoD group that split up a while back.
Legion is a math nerd that took a few philosophy classes and thinks he's loldeep
Jack is a bitch, end of story. Doesn't even matter if it's a dude, nobody can tell.
Samara is Ashley's best friend and got brought in to replace the faggot when he left the group (got a job)

Zaeed is a pretty cool guy except he's using a character from an evil campaign the GM ran in the same setting

Power-gaming little shit.

>>7915661
Stan is quite new to RPGs and does not realy get the concept of sidequests

Zaeed is the guy who joined the game late and just pulled out his old character sheet of Canderous Ordo.

Mordinth comes in to play when the player of Samara decides he doesn't want to play a LG paladin anymore.

All we know about the new guy is that his character is gonna be named Kasumi, and that he's most likely a weeaboo.

You guys do realize that this just makes Shepard a DMPC, right? A particularly bad one, because they're in a hard sci-fi setting with soft sci-fi hallmarks, and he's THE SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE.

The players of kaidan and ashley had some IRL drama going on between them and virmire was the DM`s twisted way to tell teh players that one of them ahd to go

>>7915646
>Jack is the person who just started on RPGs and though that their super-special angsty powerful half-naked character would be a good concept.

I saw Jack as that damaged chick who only plays because neckbeards pay her attention and want to touch her boobies.

>>7915703
Oghren is the type of character I play when I don't know much about the new system we're trying and I just want to stick with a simple concept.

Big axe having dude who has a drinking problem. A good concept in any system.

>>7915734

also he/she likes to play as thief.

>>7915742
If ME was a tabletop PC or DMPC everybody else would totaly hate him

>>7915764
hitting on everything moving

Nihilus was originally a PC, but left the group assuming he would be moving away. Eventually it turned out he wasn't, but by the time he got back his character had already been killed off by Saren.

So he rolled Garrus.

Probably an undiagnosed schizophrenic or compulsive liar who can't always separate the game from reality becuase in the game she is special.

This guy is the worst PC I've ever had. Total munchkin.

Shows up for a standard 'Galaxy at War' campaign with the most retarded mary-sue backstory: he's Darth Vader's "secret apprentice." Not only is he torn between the light and dark sides of The Force, but he's also super good looking.

I'm raging just thinking about it.

pic related: it's his character portrait. Note the "serious face."

Carth, Atton, Virgil, Kaiden, Jacob. All the same player.

>>7915794
More like :3 face

>>7915794

And then there's that name
>Starkiller
What a total douchebag.

On top of it all, he's a horrible power gamer. Practically broke the system with loopholes and such regarding Force powers

Joker is played by a troll

Hey guys, I rolled a pilot... and put all my points into Talented: Spaceflight ... but I had to take some disadvantedges

Chills with them every session but never takes part in the missions

And flys away in the climatic endfight leaving everyone at the collectors vbase

fucking powergamer

I spent like a week working on this defensive line that had to be overcome and what does he do?

fucking
goes
around
it

asshole

Anyways I hope he likes it when I tell him that Jason AKA "I punch town guards because I'm chaotic neutral" is his ally.

>>7915832
Again with this shit, STARKILLER WAS NOT HIS NAME IT WAS A CALLSIGN THAT VADER GAVE HIM!

>>7915832

He stole that name from the original script of star wars. Used to be Luke's name before they changed it to Skywalker.

>>7915832
Oh shit, I think I remember someone posting about this guy a while ago in a rage thread.

That backstory was hilariously retarded. He fought and killed like five jedi masters in single combat, was it? Better, when he caught a Star Destroyer.

Talk about a wank fest.

I've only yet played the first game so....

Kaiden is the guy who played Carth in the last game, who no-one likes because he always writes up a sad back story.

Jenkins was the guy who fucking flipped off the DM when he wouldn't approve his template, and died quickly as a result.

Liara spent all her points on knowledge, luckally the race she chose came with magic powers so she doesn't sit in the ship.

Garrus is Nihilus, who rerolled after he failed his sense motive check. Copy pasted stats, New name.

Wrex is the ULTIMATE TROLL. He shows up and deliberately kills off a plot-hook ten minutes in. His back story is that when he discovered that his race had problems reproducing, he made himself hell-bent on everyone fucking as much as possible. And we fucking love him for it.

Part two inbound.

I loathe DMPCs.

And this is why.

>>7915577
Her VA in general has gotten better.
Although that might be because she actually has a personality now(and lines that need good acting) instead of a mobile encyclopedia on Quarian culture.

>>7915859
You know why they changed it?

Because someone obviously had TASTE back then.

Bossy mother hen who thinks she looks better than she does. Aggravatingly informs people how they could play better or that they are doing it wrong, worst thing is she is always right. Constantly tries to get the attention of the laconic big dude in the group, he ignores her attention perhaps becuase he is mildly autistic or maybe she is just too fat.

Jenkins was the new player, so young and full of hope for the system. The player is female, but decided to take a pre-made character that was male.

During the first encounter, he gets one-shot by the enemy's first attack.

While the rest of the party continues on, the player takes the time to reroll, making a paladin Soldier this time, hoping to kick more ass. The result is Ashley.

Holy crap is this bitch breaking my game.

Plays an M&M character with mega beams out the ass but never kills anyone. Instead she goes and makes friends with all of them AFTER she's blown them up with super beams. Stupid diplomancer bullshit I never expected to see in M&M.

Now she's got the BBEG from the first campaign as her lesbian lover and the ENTIRE boss squad from the second campaign as her elite fighting force.

I really don't know wtf I can throw at her now.

>>7915851
This Jason?

I'll admit that everyone taking the same firearms feats was a bit redundant, but it actually turned out into a pretty decent campaign.

>>7915880
does that mean they always had the vader is lukes father thing planned?

>>7915780
Well, I did once have a half-orc cleric of Kord who after taking too much of a hallucinogenic drug found a statue irresistibly attractive.

Long story short they had to throw it out.

Knows he's overpowered, but tries to balance it by playing a slightly dim-witted character who is too easily controlled by his female counterpart and acting as a sort of comic relief from time to time by making incredibly weak attacks that are just played for laughs (ball buster, poke of god, etc.).

It doesn't help though, he's still OP as hell.

>>7915868

Ashley decided to make her character a Christian who felt loyal to humanity and actually RPed her character faithfully. She was unaware of the shit-storm she would cause.

Tali is played by the girl who wants to hate RPGs but decided to give them a go so that she could say she tried. Turns out she's both amazingly good and loves them.

Joker deliberately made his character good at only one thing, taking a massive crippling flaw just for more points to his ship handling. He knew that space game means at least one space fight, and no-one else had bothered with those stats.

And Finally:

Shepard was forced to become the main character when the GM's best friend (who started with a pimped out war-hero) decided he couldn't play for a few reasons. Shepard was quickly given leadership and an important mission to keep the game from falling apart. Luckily, he's the guy everyone like IRL so it works out.

"So, you die, come back, and then want revenge against an apocalyptic evil god?"

"Yes"

"Okay, what alignment I guess"

"Neutral evil"

"Alright, but you better stay in character.

>>7915533
Wait, is that Shepard a TYRONE Shepard?

If so, I imagine that he told those exo-suited space honkies that they need to cut their jive shit and show those geth turkies who's boss.

>>7915969
Blood, fuck yeah.
Shit was so cash.

>>7915969
FUCK YEA

Urg, I just don't know what to do with her.

She has every stupid power she needs to be a total badass, super strength, illusions, healing, ridiculously smart, plus all the standard ninja stuff and she STILL insists on being a useless cunt who does nothing but pine for her lost love.

I even made that total joke character who was her "goofy unrequited admirer type" into a decent ninja and she'd still rather cry about lost emo boy toy then start up a new relationship.

If she keeps this shit up I'm just going to kill her off.

Fucker doesn't even TRY to roleplay. Everyone assumes he's the quiet type but his player doesn't shut the fuck up. He makes a good impression on Alyx's player, though. Too bad she metagames so that her character ends up liking his despite him not even saying two words to her.

>>7916022
DO IT FAGGOT

>>7915970
>>7915533
Goddamn, Tyrone Shepard is one SMOOOTH motherfucker. Too bad Mark Meer has the whitest voice in history.

Normally I like playing with this guy. Good roleplay and he really gets into character but every fucking time he uses that magic book I gave him to kill someone we get into an alignment debate.

It's really slowing things down, I keep insisting that his character has got to be Lawful Evil by now, after that incident with all those cops but he keeps insisting he is Lawful Good. Such a pain in the ass.

I don't know wtf I can throw at these guys next. I've tried everything, armies of religious fanatics, super advanced aliens, a black hole, god-like super beings from another plane of existence and they manage to wheedle their way out of EVERYTHING.

I even caught that guy playing the leader in a time loop and he managed to find his way out of it and he never even failed a single SAN check the whole time.

Typical rollplayer who just wanted to play a tactical combat-oriented game but got stuck in a whiny Mary-Sue wankfest.

>>7916185

But he fucked ALL OF THEM over in the end...

Every PC, BBEG, NPC, and innocent bystander there god damn it...

>>7916040
Everyone really, really likes him though, because the man has a mastery of the system to such a degree that he can fight his way out of even impossible situations. And they'd be worried he's a min/maxed player, but he likes to use unusual weapons(his favorite being a crowbar) and always comes up with creative solutions to combat.

>>7916040

Man I've been running games for this guy for more then 10 years now and his character hasn't said a word the whole time.

This motherfucker... Always accusing me of railroading, so I let him just go nuts and do whatever he'd like. So of course he immediately dials the CHAOTIC up to 11 and becomes a puppy-kicking maniac. I swear, it's like he's actually trying to break the game world.

>>7916203
When players refuse to leave the basement and won't even come out for food because they want to keep playing, exterminatus is the only option.

FUCK YES EXALTED IS THE BEST SYSTEM EVER

>>7916248

Why leave the basement for food? Pizza can be delivered, you know.

I made an arbitrator for my Dark Heresy game. He's really awesome on his own, but this fucking Sororitas player beats the shit out of him every chance she gets.

Fucking bitch.

I think he's just making fun of the rest of us with his character.

And his character is impossible to kill off too. He keeps living through shit nobody should ever live through.

>>7916286
Fuck you god damn it.

Just because your mother is dead doesn't mean you can just call the pizza place and request the woman that sort of looks like your dead mom to give you food.

THATS NOT REAL.

ITS NOT REALITY.

GOD DAMN IT, NEITHER IS DND!

I WILL DESTROY YOUR WORLD!

>>7916286
As can Chinese food, and apparently Safeway still delivers stuff.

>>7915639
>>tallying up the votes
i think thats actually kind of cool.

>>7916286
And Chinese.

And nowadays, there's probably a bunch of other things you can get delivered. If you need to be classy for some reason, you might even be able to get a delivery of groceries.

Guy who god fucked over so badly by another player, he dedicates his PC's existence to DESTROYING him.

It seemed like a solid character idea when she described it. I swear if I had known she was going to talk like that before hand...

MOTHERFUCKER READ MY CAMPAIGN NOTES

I won't stop you from creating a Dex-based fighter.
I won't stop you from playing her as a 15 year old girl from her village.
I won't stop you from challenging the minmaxed barbarian/frenzied berserker to one on one combat.

Fucking godspeed, dude.

Jayne is the loudmouth of the group. He always plays rowdy, rough and tough characters. In D&D he'd be an Orc, in Shadowrun he'd be a Troll. He's surprisingly good at role-playing Chaotic Neutral as well, especially managing to aid the party in such a way that helps them, rather than hindering them.

Kaylee is the new girl. She's unfamiliar with the system, and makes frequent use of the random Tech Lingo chart, but makes do. She's a girly-girl at heart, though, and given the chance dresses up and gossips about fashion.

Wash is the host of the group. They all play in his house each week, but he's laid back. He supplies all the snacks and drinks the group needs, but doesn't get involved a whole lot, especially with combat sequences. When he does get involved, however, he shines.

Zoe is Wash's wife, co-host to the group. They involved their characters just for simplicity. She's almost the polar opposite of her husband, loves getting involved in the combat bits, but usually fades out otherwise, except to thrown in a few good lines.

Reynolds is the guy who got the group together and suggested the system, becoming the defacto leader, and Captain, among the party.

Simon's a bit of a nerd, and only joined the group because he has a crush on the equally nerdy girl playing Kaylee. He finds the game awkward, especially when it revolves around him.

River is THAT guy. The one who always plays kick-ass petite girls. A bit of a min-maxer, he had to take a lot of flaws in order to get the results he wanted. Had to rope Simon's player into establishing a history between their characters so as not to sabotage his entry into the party by himself.

Shepherd Book (not pictured) is the GM's DMPC. He tries to guide the group along the right path, but does not railroad. He'll come to the party's rescue if need be, but won't take the spotlight.

>>7916304

GRAR I WILL KILL YOU!

>>7916330

At some point the artist should have noticed she was pretty much pressing her chest against his dick.

>>7916300
Forgive me...

...I loved your soul.

I TOLD YOU THE COLLECTOR WAS EVIL! I TOLD YOU!

>>7916330
>>7916348
I don't think he cared.

>>7916322

So, I have no idea what happened...

I rolled an DMPC to sort of guide my players through the campaign, and from what I took as a brilliant twist, turned him into the BBEG.

Then the guy (who never talked much, rolled a fantastic character who always rolls great, and somehow survives EVERYTHING I throw at him) just goes berserk, he decides that every fiber of his being is to destroy this fucking BBEG if it's the last thing he does.

And god damn if he hasn't wrecked every obstacle in his way.

WHAT'S THAT, I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF HOW FAST I AM

This is that guy who always plays fucking rogues. Always.

Difference being, this guy plays them right.

>>just goes berserk

snicker

GOOD SHOW!!!

Let's see if those heretics and xeno can stand in the way of Inquisitor Hatsworth?

>>7916352
We all noticed. But it's hot as hell.

Maxed ranks in Electronics, Systems Maintenance, Mineralogy, Tool Use, no combat skills, damnit these things are gonna tear me apart!

... huh, Tool Use...

>>7916477
Dammit forgot my pic.

>>7916328
oh god i lol'd, i lol'd so fucking hard, i lol'd so fucking hard i cried.

Has this been archived yet? Because it fucking should have been.

Fuck you DM, you suck

You have us fight a totally hopeless battle against the EVIL EMPIRE(how original) and kill the entire party except for your Mary Sue DMPC

I wouldn't be surprised if she turned out to be the goddess all along.

Best three person DnD campaign i ever played.
Yeah, think about it, you KNOW these bastards where player characters.
Julius fucking Caesar himself pretty much says not to mess with them cause they're the PC's...

This guy. Just...this guy.

Always, always plays charismatic bastards--even in horror games. Probably because he *is* a charismatic bastard. He could be the DM--he's better at it than I am. It's ust...too much like work.

In our last GURPS campaign, he played a waetherman: somehow he *stil*l ended up almost destroying the universe.

Yeah, I mad.

>>7916515
what is that from

>>7916548
Best fucking show on HBO that they didn't do justice to.

It's called Rome.

>>7916572

Diadem

rs it for the boobs, they're better than the story

>>7916591
She does have a rather nice set of tits.

>>7916705
ONLY 14 YEARS OLD AW YEAH

>>7916328

oh how i loled...

>>7916591
all the links seem to be dead

>>7916586
>best show on HBO
>not True Blood

>>7916865
fuck you, deadwood is the best show to ever be on HBO

>>7916865
Calling instatroll on this shit

>>7916586
>best show on HBO
>not Curb Your Enthusiasm

>>7916328
>>7916328
>>7916328
>>7916328
>>7916328
>>7916328
>>7916328
>>7916328

this is the winner of the thread

>>7916985
sage for jew humor

The player that makes a background, sets up motivations, puts stats in charm and survival and all that.

Then ends up shooting every NPC that doesn't agree with him.

>>7916850

upload'd

http://rapidshare.com/files/345697799/Diadem_Boichi.rar

>>7917054
thanks

>>7915577
Whenever she's being funny or teasing, or makes a small joke, that coy twist to her accent just makes me UNF.

>>7917104
and thats why shes my favourite character

>>7917104
She definatly has one of the best voice actors of the bunch. Probably the only character to display a wide range of emotions.
It feels awkward romancing her as Male sheps VA cant turn off the Serious and badass voice for 2 fucking seconds.

Veteran of the group, has been playing the same character for many adventures and several campaigns. Crafty player, always escapes and bypasses DM's plans. As a result, tends to get pretty powerful, grabbing items and killing bosses the DM never intends to be beaten. Even when the DM finds some BS reason for all their items to work, is smart enough to figure a way to get them back or win the day.

Most new players to the group assume character is male, player doesn't go out of his way to prove them wrong until the adventure arc is done.

>>7916886
Seriously, this. Ian McShane as Al Swearengen was fucking awesome.

I think ME2 explains Garrus perfectly via Joker

He's the former agent who got that stick out of his ass - now he's beating everything to death with it... and enjoys it a little too much

Rusty: Forgot the evil campaign is over and that he was supposed to be playing a good scientist

Orpheus: Amateur Thespian, practicing for his big break

Brock: Just wants to stab bad guys and fuck wenches

H.E.L.P.eR. : thought he could do the same thing as the guy in Darths and Droids, didn't work out exactly as planned

Is what happens when you give the BBEG role to a player that has some IRL beef with another player.

>>7917537
RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!!!

DID YOU EAT ALL THE CHEETOS AGAIN?!

>>7915577
Brofist, man. I must emphasize the way she says 'definitely'- by God, that had me loosening my collar.

I love this fucking thread.

I let you play your fetish but STOP TOSSING MINIONS INTO MY PUZZLES

Likes to play ambiguously gendered druids who are usually emotionless.

this is why i love /tg/

If someone would please screencap this thread for me, I would be eternally grateful.

Powerful character, unfortunately, the player was a douchebag in and out of the game, so the DM and the players conspired to fuck his character over by having him get caught during his sleep and publicly execute him.

Roll for sanity loss, bitch. Or maybe start praying, not that it'll do you any goo---WHAT THE FUCK, DID YOU JUST PRAY THE FUCK OUT OF CTHULU?!

I would kick him out for playing a furry..eh..feather, if it wasn't because he play the must hilarious power armoured vigilant who likes to poke fun at himself and big these goofy lap-stick enducing flaws....in every single system ever.

Pic. related, that's him in a BESM compaign.

>>7918093

and this is when we tried Dark heresy.

Fucking DM, trying to rail road us with his guards that seem to know everything we do, and are always several levels above us.

>>7918031
Please?

This GM is a bitch. We start without any guns and the game being mostly social crap interspersed with people trying to mug our ass and us having to fend them off with a scalpel, and when we finally do get a gun, we're too worried about the fact we didn't start with rations so we sell the fucking thing to get food. Ontop of all that, the guy runs the most depressing game I've ever played and he keeps killing plothooks when we fuck up, expecting us to figure out what to do from there. The theatrical touches are cool however.

>>7918136

Just archive it, dude.

I DAAAAWWWWed at OP's picture with full force. Started ME2 yesterday, can't wait to get there

>>7918434

The entire Tali romance is really sweet at parts. And, while not directly connected to her romance, her loyalty quest is horribly sad in parts.

>>7918393
King among games.

Mother of god, this thread is supertits

>>7918462
Yeah, pity the GM only speaks broken English, makes some spots a bit wonky where he's trying to express concepts that he can only express well in Russian.

>>7918450
>her loyalty quest is horribly sad in parts

Oh god don't remind me. First the recorded "Be brave for Daddy! Mommy loves you very mu - " message, then Rael'Zora.

Bioware, you hurt me in all the right ways.

God damnit WHY did I let you use your taunt skill for attack rolls.

So, guys, funny story.

There's this one guy who plays occasionally in this world I constantly DM for. I don't like the player because he's going out with my Ex, and he's pretty new to tabletop so his character is REALLY shit (one level of wizard, one of rogue, absolute crap build, can't even cast spells!). So I just decide to put him in shit situations all the time.

He's survived like, a dozen games of this. I don't know how he does it. Just gets lucky, I suppose.

He doesn't speak English, so every time he's rolling he just assume he's attacking the guy in front of him. He seems happy when we remove the models from the tabletop, though.

Once he punched a horse. Never seen him so happy.

>>7918558
I think I know that guy, didnt he roll 7 on a 6 sided dice once?

>>7918502
Oh god damn it... I'm tearing up...
What happens if you take Legion on that Quest?

Anyone saved that "full list of exactly what carries over to mass effect 2" that was posted here like yesterday?

Running ME1 to create a new savegame and it would be useful.

>>7918605

No idea, as I did Tali's quest as soon as it came available and didn't get Legion until the very end. I've seen a screencap of her trial, though - Tali and Shepard are where they normally are, but Legion is sitting huddled up alone right at the back of the room.

So, wait, you're telling me we get to have an army of NPCs assist us in taking out this single BBEG? And we still get full experience for it? Hell yeah, we're in!

What the hell happened to all the NPCs---he killed most of them? Well, I suppose it's only reasonable, having us actually kick his ass. Just hope they didn't soften him up too much.

>>7918605
I bet he laughs inside like a motherfucker when he sees what Tali's dad brought upon himself.

>>7918558
that's because he whom wins at life, wins also at the game table.
He fucks your ex and you, raging but too much pathetic to ignore the fact or to have a serious revenge, try to damage him through the game.
Sadly, he is still superior
[spoiler]and I'm afraid he will be forever[/spoiler]

>>7918644

HOLY HELL, HOW MUCH HP DOES THIS FUCKER HAVE?! QUICK, START SPAMMING OUR MOST POWERFUL SPELLS ON HIM---WHAT THE FUCK, THEY'RE ONLY DOING HALF DAMAGE?! Okay, fine, we'll just continue chipping away at this guy---

OH MY GOD, DID HE JUST LIGHT HIS SWORD ON FIRE AND STAB OUR MAGE WITH IT? AND YOU SAY HE'S LITERALLY FUCKING HIS SKULL WHILE LAUGHING MANICALLY?! OH COME ON!

He....he completely wiped us out. And I think he's still raping my corpse. Fuck you, DM. Fuck you.

>>7918655
He can't keep on getting away forever.

>>7918640
It's the same with Grunt.

>>7915969

Man, you know that even if he manages to make it through this one, he's going to fuck it the very next game.

>>7918686

Hrmm. Odd. I brought Mordin along and he was hanging out with Tali and Shep in the middle.

>>7918678

He can always counts on the Gods forgetting him. Eventually.

It was supposed to be a hard boiled gritty, dark crime setting.

Then these two cunts screwed it up with their wacky antics.

Originally, his character was an alright swordsman, but he pretty much outright sucked compared to the party leader, who just so happens to be a half dragon (which I shall not go into at this moment). However, several levels later, he gained the prestige class of Holy Swordsman. Or did he just take a level in paladin? I forget. Either way, his character is awesome now, though ridiculous. The player jokingly asked to roll to see if he cut the land along with the monsters. The DM, going along with the joke, rolled. You know what happened next? His character ACTUALLY CLEAVED THE ENTIRE LAND ALONG WITH THE MONSTERS WE WERE FIGHTING. I could not make this shit up if I tried.

>>7918502
> First the recorded "Be brave for Daddy! Mommy loves you very mu - " message, then Rael'Zora.

Picture related, my face when i listened to that.

>>7918751

I'm not afraid to say I nearly teared up when Tali found her Dad's body. That was harsh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbA7TbeS29g
The clip >>7918751 in question, in case any of you badasses were too pro to notice the console. Skip to 1:40.

Voice actress earned her paycheck.

>>7918777

It's been said before, but I'll restate it here. Anyone who didn't take the Paragon interrupt here to give her a hug is a dick. A huge, unforgivable, dick.

>>7918797
Not if they were too busy crying (even if it was just on the inside) to notice the interupt.

Player games solo with a DM, either as a result of lack of a game group, or people weren't able to show up for a couple sessions. Decides to do a side quest to try to bring back an NPC love interest the DM decides is better off dead. Throws crazy giant stone monsters but somehow pc is able to kill them all with his horse, sword and bow.

Player later tries to relate the crazy combats, but simply cannot do them justice with words. "Dude, I shot it in the foot them climbed on its back and stabbed it in the head, it was awesome! I guess you had to be there..."

>>7918777
>>7918779
>>7918797
>>7918805

Oh god, now I KNOW I can't buy that game. I'll weep like a little bitc-I mean LIKE THE MANLIEST FUCKING MAN ON THE BLOCK, FAGGOTS!

>>7918805

I almost missed it. Too busy thinking OH GOD WHAT BIOWARE HOW COULD YOU.

On that note, did anyone else note how many of the Loyalty quests were to do with the characters' screwed up families?

Jacob's Dad goes nuts and sets himself up with a harem of braindamaged women.
Tali's Dad gets so obsessed with finding a way to hack the Geth, he accidently unleashes them on the Flotilla.
The Drell, who's name I forget, has his Son flip out and try to become an assassin like his father.
Miranda's Dad treated her as an asset to be used to further his own goals.
etc, etc.

>>7918838
Yes, and it fucking worked.

>>7918847

Oh, I'm not doubting that it worked spectacularly. Just interesting to note. I've not started Legion's Loyalty Quest yet, so for all I know it might involve more Geth, which might be thought of as family due to their collective.

>>7918859

Sort of. Geth don't have a concept of "family", they just see other Geth as more pieces of themselves. It's kinda weird, but Legion is an awesome character.

>>7918892

I'm just hoping getting him won't muck up my Romance swith Tali.

can you fuck Legion?

>>7918902

I doubt Legion would understand the concept, let alone possess the ability.

>>7918859
Legion has Daddy Issues.

>>7918914
So he'd be a giant confused vibrator?
EXCELLENT!

>>7918920

Other than his flashlight head, I'm not sure he'd have anything to fuck with.

>>7918897

It might, unless you have high enough Paragon/Renegade to convince them to get along.

>>7918938

Oh, good. I've maxed out the Paragon bar, so that'll be no problem. Because as cool as my own personal Geth is, Legion ain't worth losing Tali over.

>>7918937
He has hands and feat doesn't he?

>>7918958
indeed he has

i'd prefer to think legion as an alchemical from Exalted. just swap for new bits - like adding a fuckhuge vibrator! good time

but seriously, femshep + garrus = win

>>7918955

Yeah, you're fine. Same thing with Miranda and Jack; you can tell them to get along and not lose the loyalty of either. Even if you manage it, you can get their loyalty back once you hit 100% Paragon/Renegade. So you're covered either way.

>>7918902
>can you fuck Legion?

in mass effect 3, you can tell how he blush when you ask "why my armor?"

it also has a hole

>>7918969
CHAFFING!
CHAAAAAAAAAAFING!

>>7918984

thats what they invented LUBE for!

*shlick shlick shlick*

>>7918955
Tali actually makes nice with them and lets them have some non-classified data to share with the rest of the true geth.

Shepard doesn't even prompt her to do it, she just does it because she's so damn nice.

Tali, Garrus, Mordin, and Legion all need to remain part of your team - assuming they survive - for ME3. Tali and Garrus are the most important, but Legion and Mordin are too awesome to leave behind.

>>7918990
IRON SKIN CHAFFING!

>>7918990
But he can't give you oral with that mouth... besides.
"I had reach, she had flexibility."

>>7919001

MORE LUBE

hehe, i just like how garrus turned out in ME2 - in ME1 he's always whining about how C-sec used to be... now, he's just kicking ass

>>7918984

Alright, ladies and gentlemen. Raise your hand if you were actually rather gobsmacked by Mordin's sex advice.

How the hell this man knows the eroginous zone overlays for Humans and Quarians, as well as can provide some sort of Space-Karma-Suitra for comfortable positions is beyond me. Especially since he comes across as pretty asexual.

>>7919009
>i had reach, she had flexibility

i came

>>7919011
It's his job to know these things, and he takes his job very seriously. He does not carry around thousands of hours of recorded xenos porn and wank furiously whenever he's offscreen.

>>7919011
Because he is a BIOLOGIST!
He's had to study this stuff you know. Why just a few years back he was always doing... "field research."

>>7919011
is part of his job as doctor

>>7919010
The character development in general is vastly superior to ME1. Even the boring squadmates like Jacob are more interesting than Kaidan and Ashley.

Garrus and Tali in particular stand out spectacularly. Tali matures in more ways than one, and Garrus goes through hell and shows his damage in everything he does. Even keeping his broken armor is a way to show that he wants to do penance for letting his crew get taken out.

>>7919011
He's just fucking with you man.

>>7919011

>Mordin's sex advice

I...what? I completely missed that. I was amused at the fact that someone managed to get an STD from a Varren, though.

>>7919024
i suggest to not ingest

>>7919011
He's a doctor. He doesn't look at this shit because he enjoys it. He doesn't jerk off to charts of batarian cardiovascular systems either, but he makes it his fucking job to know it.

He's pretty damn old for a salarian and he's a hyper motherfucker by THEIR standards. He's also a goddamn genius. He makes it his business to know everything. Getting six doctorates is his idea of a hobby.

>>7919024
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAP92rvm1hQ

Couldn't find the one for Tali.

>>7919023
SHOCKING suggestion! Doctor-patient confidentiality sacred trust.

Would never dream of mockery.

>>7919024
Implications unpleasant.

>>7919031
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1yp78vjKao

>>7919024

If you romance either Tali or Garrus, then after they agree to 'do some research' into how it'll work, go talk to Mordin. He gives you some advice of his own.

>>7919031
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdbVu3xwx9U

Oh hey, one for Thane too.

>>7918997
Too bad Mordin's the equivalent of a Salarian grandfather; the average Salarian lives to 40.

Mordin's 50. He's a badass grandpa who has a favourite nephew.

>>7919042
HALLUCINOGENIC PROPERTIES

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxrO5-HPIAw

AND HE SINGS!

>>7919033

It's quite funny how he seems entirely casual about it. One can only imagine his reaction when faced with your partner; Tali in particular. Mordin dealing with an awkward, shy Quarian asking about inter-species relationships would have been a lulzy as hell cutscene.

>>7919058
Apparently his voice actor performed the original song too. And the Bioware writer couldn't help but sing that song for weeks, with much tolerance from his wife (also a BW employee).

>>7919041

That's weird. I didn't get the safe sex talk. I got him to go on about how it was "shocking" that I'd implied he was mocking me...but that's because he started talking to me about all the talking we were doing. He implied that I had the hots for him.

The gay hots.

>>7919063
Hey, the man had more degrees then god. I'd go to him for ANY problem.

>>7919042
Oh god, Hallucinogenic saliva?

BEST.
KISSES.
EVER.

>>7919083
Mordin... DADDY DIDN'T LOVE ME!
... What?

>>7919048
He did state he wanted to spend his "last decade" doing good things with those who deserve it, by opening a clinic.

>>7919077

Hmm. Did you do it right after triggering the romance? Or did you wait a bit? I did a couple of missions after setting myself up with Tali, then spoke to Mordin, and found out that she had been ordering large quantities of antibiotics...

>>7919104
I saw we make him Immortal.

>>7919111
WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY

>>7919108
if you talk to him a little later you get this. You have to have your romantic interest "in the bag" so to speak.

>>7919119

Well, Cerberus does. I vote we go kick the Illusive Man in the balls until he agrees to extend Mordin's lifespan.

>>7919108

It was before I started romancing Tali, actually. It was amusing, though.

>>7919119
Put him in a Gethsuit!
MAKE HIM ROBO-SALARIAN!

>>7919099
Foolish woman. Garrus is not a fish.

>>7919134
Cerberus, a humans first extremist organization, helping aliens?

>>7919139

No, but Thane is. I think Garrus is the "lizard".

>>7915625
>and has a list next to his character sheet labelled "one-liners"

I really should get one of those

On the topic of Legion's N7 armour:

Shepard: So, I know how and where you got my armour from, but why exactly are you wearing it?
Legion: ... There was a hole.
Shepard: Yes, you explained that earlier, and you could've repaired it earlier, with better materials. Why not?
Legion: ... No data available.

>>7919144
You kick enough people in the balls, you'll get results.
Besides, you could always blackmail them.

>>7919160
Does he EVER tell you why?

>>7919144

I'm hoping my Paragon Shepard can kill the Illusive Man, take over Cerberus, and turn it into a moderate, legal organisation that works towards improving relations with non-human races.

>>7919152
Funny how the fishmen known as the Drell come from a desert planet.

>>7919152
Thane's a lizard. Garrus is a dino.

>>7919152
Thane is the lizard. Why would a fish want an arid room?

>>7919166
And they get a type of fatal lung cancer from living on the Hanar world!

>>7919165
No, but you can deeply upset the Illusive Man and actually hear desperation in his voice when you fuck with him after doing the Paragon ending.

>>7919176
He was WRONG!

>>7919168
Garrus is a sexy, anthromorphic chitinous birdcat.

>>7919058

Mordin is best. Also warns of...chafing.

>>7919152
Actually Thane is dying because he's breathed too much humid air in his lifetime.

>Because the drell ancestors emerged from arid, rocky deserts, the humid, ocean-covered hanar homeworld of Kahje proved tolerable only when the drell stayed inside a climate-controlled dome city. The leading cause of death for drell on Kahje is Kepral's Syndrome, caused by cummulative long-term exposure to a humid climate. This syndrome erodes the ability of drell lungs to take in oxygen, and eventually spreads out to other organs. It is noncommunicable, and there is currently no known cure, though leading hanar scientific authorities are working on creating a genetic adaptation.

>>7919183

>>7919176
I was kinda pissed that you can't bring up how every single time they've tried fucking with Reaper tech in the past it has always ended horrendously badly.

For fuck's sake, the Reaper IFF mission should be evidence enough that blowing up the collector base is a very good idea.

>>7919182
From Mass Effect Wiki on Turian biology.
----------------------------------------------
Turians exhibit the characteristics of predators rather than those of prey species (compare to krogan biology). Their forward-facing alert eyes give the impression that they possess outstanding eyesight and their teeth and jaws mimic the structures possessed by apex predators such as crocodiles or ancient, carnivorous dinosaurs. Needless to say, their talons on both their feet and hands seem capable of ripping flesh. Their slender bodies also seem to suggest that they are also capable of moving at high speeds.

>>7919203
Okay. Sexy, anthromorphic chitinous dinosaurs.

>>7919197
This time will be different! It's Collector technology, not just Reaper!

>>7919176

Oh, I'm looking forward to trolling that bastard hard.

"Thanks for bringing me back to life and all, but I'm going to fuck over your crazy humanocentric plans now."

>>7919210
Grunt actually suggested that I take along the technology. My response was essentially "shut up, grunt".

My Shepard was mostly paragon, except with Krogan. He knows the only way to deal with them is brute strength. Yes, he headbutted Gatatok, yes, he did every renegade option that there was unless it was something that could lower himself in Wrex's eyes.

>>7919210

Except they were sending you to a derelict Reaper to get it.

>>7919229
My Shepard was a PARAGON OF JUSTICE!
Now I'm playing Renegade FemShep.

>>7919229
Even beating up that scared teenager in Thane's mission?

I did the renegade actions, all except beating up "mouse" and punching those scared salarian workers with the gun.

>>7919222
"What's this? You want a pureblood Krogan? Whoops, I think I pressed the release button!"
"Oh, you want Geth technology? Just let me talk to it first... Oh no! It appears I cannot deactivate it to send to you! Whatever shall we do?"

>>7919246
Bullets can deactivate it.

>>7919245

This is why Renegade Shepard is shitty. He just comes across as a two-bit thug on a power trip. I tried playing a Renegade game but lost interest after a couple of hours. I just didn't like being an asshole to people.

>>7919245
You mean the scared teenager when you're moving about above the Turian target? Also, I am sad that I had to beat up Mouse. It just seemed the easiest way to deal with him.

I am also sad I have to beat about the guy when I tracing the Turian, but really, it was the only option.

>>7919246
>>7919222
All Cerberus wacky evil science plans always, always backfire horribly. I made sure the "Lazarus project: Revive Shepard" also backfired horribly.

>>7918644
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
JESUS FUCK HE LAID OUT THE FIRST SQUAD LIKE THEY WEREN'T EVEN THERE HOLY SHIT LOOK AT HIM GO ON THE SECOND

>>7919272

I hope you remembered to send the incriminating data you find in one side mission to the Citadel. Hopefully come ME3, Cerberus will have fallen apart thanks to Shepard's antics.

Then we just hope the Illusive Man didn't order a bomb built into your body as a failsafe.

>>7919099

Seeing how he waxed Miranda's ass and left her as your sloppy seconds I think he can let go of not hooking up with Femshep.

>>7919260
There's also the fact that Paragon Shepard can get shit done just as effectively as Renegade Shep.

I mean, you'd think there'd be some negative consequences to trying to be nice all the time. Sometimes being nice just doesn't work, and it can get people killed.

>>7919270
See? He's just a dick. My ParaShep does renegade actions sometimes, but only when they're extremely awesome or justified. Shooting at the fuel tank during Mordin's mission was awesome. Beating the crap out of the two-bit thug who set up the hit on the racist turian was justified. Calling the Admiralty Board a bunch of heartless motherfuckers was extremely justified. They made my Tali cry >:|

>>7919331

Part of me thinks that the game is supposed to be played Paragon, for that reason. You get better results most of the time, and (I at least) feel Shepard is a more interesting character that way. Or at least as interesting as he can be with that godawful voice actor.

>>7919348

I dunno if you saw the Paragon dialogue option for that after you return to finish the trial, but it's pretty awesome. Shepard chews the Quarians out for doubting someone who's done so much good shit for the Flotilla and the galaxy at large, and afterwards Tali admits that she "likes watching you shout".

>>7919349
Mark Meers now has three tones of voice instead of two.

Monotone
Angry and threatening
AND calm and comforting.

So is ME2 good in any sense of the word?

>>7919380
He still has trouble using them at the appropriate times, though.

Can you imagine him trying to calm a crying child?

"Hey, it's okay. I got your toy back."

>>7919386
It's like Assassin's Creed 2 in that it takes all the shit everyone hated in the first game and throws it right the fuck out the window.

It's an awesome, awesome game. I fucking love it.

>>7919349
Play a FemShep then.

Miss out on tali love though.

>>7919386
Gameplay: Much more action, much less RPG. The fighting parts are fun, the levelling parts and character-tinkering parts are not. Mixed bag.
Storyline: Pretty mediocore to be honest. No equivilant of Saren and very basic, easy-to-realize plot.
Characters: I haven't seen characters this awesome in forever.

>>7919401
I dunno, man. Did it well on Tali.

>>7919375
I'm a paragon and I can't encourage an embattled race to go to war with a synthetic species that doesn't even want to fight and in fact preserves their old homes religiously.

Still killed the heretic geth, because brainwashing just isn't cool.

>>7919410
Tali Lovin' is the ONLY reason I started a new Mshep file.

>>7919462
Femshep gets delicious Garrus cock.

(Do not ingest.)

>>7919386

Yes. Absolutely. It has flaws, like all games, but I've never found myself this enchanted before. The combat is fun, the talking is fun, the mineral gathering is dull, the equipment/skills have been simplified right down but the gameplay feels the same as the first. Get it, you won't regret it.

Also, the characters. Holy fuck, the characters. They are fantastic.

It feels like in the few years Bioware has looked at storyline, gamplay and characters and has fucked the first right up the ass, fondled the second a little and, very recently, gave the third steroids

>>7919260

My current Shepard is basically both Paragon and Renegade at the same time: I had max in both attributes in ME1, so when I imported to ME2 I had more than enough P&R points to choose whichever options I want.

>Ashley's player injects her political and religious views into her character, and probably disdains the other players for not sharing them at times, but isn't a total mormon or anything.

>Hey, I'm actually kinda religious. If that bothers you, I won't go on about it.
>UR A CHRIST-FAGOT, STOP SHOVING YOUR RELIGION DOWN OUR THROATS

This fucker is the white knight of the campaign, but he FORCES himself to try to turn people. When that fails, he usually just puts them to the bullet or turns them over to the proper authorities.

I think the player was molested because he especially hates child molesters.