OW MAIM! KILL! BURN! MAIMKILLBURN!

>>8144567

Make Wench eat mushroom, point her in the direction of the village, give her the axe.

While the rest of the village has to deal with her, pillage away behind their backs. Find another weapon to use as well, you probably have lost the axe and wench.

OW

I REMEMBER THIS

OW ABOUT WE GRAB THAT AXE, WALK INTO THE VILLAGE, AND DEMAND TO SEE WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE. OLGA CAN FOLLOW IF SHE WANTS, BUT STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT IN CASE THINGS GET UGLY

ALRIGHT TIME TO PILLAGE

>---1 LUTE

WHEN DID WE GET A FUCKING LUTE?

>>8144673
FUCK YES, DO THIS!

>>8144699
It's Olga's

SELL THE WENCH FOR GOLD

GOTO WENCH4GOLD.COM

USE GOLD TO HIRE MERCS

>>8144699
OLGA (the girl in the picture) IS OUR SKALD, YOU FOOL.

OF COURSE SHE HAS A LUTE. HOW THE FUCK ELSE IS SHE SUPPOSED TO SING ABOUT OUR VALOR AND EPIC RAGE?

>>8144800
DON'T FORGET THE AWKWARD HUG ON THE BOAT.

>>8144596
THIS PLAN HAS NO FLAWS WHATSOEVER!!! YOU BUSY YOURSELF BY CHOPPING THE FIRST PERSON YOU RUN ACROSS IN THE VILLAGE INTO A CONVENIENT PILE OF GORE!

"Ho there frien- GLUGGH!?!"

THAT'S ONE ASSHOLE DOWN!

NEXT SET FIRE TO A BUILDING!!
SHOW THESE PEACEFUL BASTARDS YOU'RE NOT FUCKING AROUND!

WE ARE OLAF WHISTLEAXE, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS OW WHEN MANIPULATING OUR CHOICES

Posts must start with the word OW (for Olaf Whistleaxe) in order to be chosen by OP. At least, that's the way he ran it last time.

>>8144828
OW, NO CHILD OR WOMAN.
WE ARE NOT A BLOODY BARBARIAN.

GET BACK TO SLAYING EVERYTHING ELSE NOW.

>>8144828
OW

ASK WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE OF THIS SHITHOLE

>>8144828
OW
LOOT CORPSE, IF THERE IS ANYTHING OF VALUE
THE DO >>8144673

>>8144858
OW SCRATCH THAT. ESPECIALLY THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN, WE MOST CERTAINLY ARE A BARBARIAN.

OW, CARVE A MONOCLE OUT OF PEASANT'S JAWBONE TO SHOW OUR SOPHISTICATION.

>>8144848
>>8144858
WELL THERE WASN'T ANY FUCKING WOMEN OR CHILDREN IN THIS ONE SO YOU GUESS IT CAN SLIDE.

OW, CHALLENGE THEIR STRONGEST WARRIOR. KILL IT. (LOOT IT). THEN BECOME KING OF THIS SHITHOLE AND BUILD YOUR ARMY TO CONQUER THE NEIGHBOR SHITHOLES.
RINSE, REPEAT. EMPEROR OLAF.

OW, FASHION NEW GARMENTS OUT OF DEAD VILLAGER. IMPRESS SHITHOLE RESIDENTS WITH NEW PANTALOONS.

OW

PILLAGE THE GOLD AND VALUABLES! PUT HEADS ON PIKES! THIS PLEASES THOR!

OLAF! I AM PLEASED!

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! AND HIT THAT LUTE CHICK, SHE'S A FINE PIECE OF ASS!

>>8145011
>Thor
>THOR

GET THE FUCK OUT, WE ARE A WARRIOR OF ODIN

GO BACK TO DRESSING UP LIKE A GIRL

>>8145011
I'LL HIT HER WITH MY HAMMER.
...
THE HAMMER IS MY PENIS.

>>8144941
YOU USE YOUR FUCKING VIKING SENSES TO POINT OUT THE STRONGEST PERSON IN THE VILLAGE. HE LOOKS CONFUSED. ALL OTHER VILLAGERS ARE KEEPING THE FUCK WAY BACK.

I don't see the glory in the random killing of peasants.

Shouldn't we fight so fucking invaders (britfags) or some monster (giants)?

>>8145124
OW

TELL HIM TO STEP THE FUCK BACK IF HE DOESN'T WANT A NEW HOLE IN HIS FACE, THEN ASK WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE

TAKE UP AXE
AdviceOW.jpeg
TAKE LIVES IN ODIN'S NAME

>>8145161
"You'll never make it past me to the village leader BARBARIAN SCUM."

THAT MOTHER FUCKER.

>>8145243
OW OWN HIS ASS

>>8145243
OW MAKE AS IF YOUR GONNA CLEAVE DOWN WITH YOUR AXE AND RAM YOUR FIST INTO HIS STOMACH!

>>8145243
OW RIP N TEAR

>>8145243
OW HIT HIM SO HARD HE EXPLODES

>>8145243
OW BUTTHEAD HIM INTO SLEEP.
That'll teach him.

>>8145243
OW overhead chop, check midswing when he raises to block, KICK HIM IN THE NADS AND THEN REAM HIM WITH THE AXE WHEN HE IS DOWN, loot sword and shield

>>8145279
YOU FIGHT THAT FAGGOT GUARD CAPTAIN! HOLY SHIT, HE ACTUALLY DOESN'T SUCK AT BLOCKING! IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE HE HAS A FUCKING SHIELD YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

IT'S STILL YOUR TURN TO ATTACK! SHOUT YOUR BATTLE MOVE AND ROLL AS HIGH AS YOU CAN ON A D100!

OW TELL OLGA TO START COMPOSING A BALLAD OF OUR EXPLOITS AS WE PRESS ON!

>>8145458
OW

HASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN CHOP

>>8145458
OW RIP AND TEAR
RIP AND TEAR GUTS

rolled 27 = 27

>>8145458
OW BREAK HIS SHIELD. BREAK HIS ARMS

rolled 83 = 83

OW HEADBUTT HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES SHOW HIM WHO'S THE BOSS VIKING!

>>8145506
>>8145505
OW, THEY BOTH CAME AT THE SAME TIME

LOGIC DICTATES WE DROP THE LOWEST

>>8145540
YES BUT BREAKING HIS ARMS ALSO SEEMS PROFITABLE. I AM PERPLEXED.

rolled 57 = 57

>>8145540
MISS FOR THE SHIELD, SUCCESS FOR THE HEADBUTT?
(maybe the shield was a faint)

>>8145557
HEADBUTT HIS SHIELD INTO HIS FACE
ADVICEOW.JPEG
BREAK HIS ARM AND HIS FACE

>>8145581
I LIKE IT!

I AM HERE TO HELP YOU.

>>8145478
"HEY BITCH!"

"WHAT? NEED HEL-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WRITE A FUCKING BALLAD ABOUT THIS SHIT!"

OLGA GIVE YOU ONE OF THOS FUCKING LOOKS.

"MAYBE YOU SHOULD FUCKING FOCUS ON THE FIGHT RIGHT ABOUT NOW YOU IDIOT!"

>>8145633
>THOSE

FUCKING MISTYPES!

>>8145633
SHE JUST QUESTIONED YOU, USE YOUR RAGE TO KILL THAT GUY SO YOU CAN GET BACK TO TEACHING OLGA HER PLACE

rolled 13 = 13

>>8145633
OW

HASAAAAAAAAAAN CHOP SHIELD AND HEADBUTT HIM IN THE FACE

>>8145672
WE ARE PLAYING DARK HERESY VIKINGS

THAT 13 MUST MEAN WE GOT EPIC DEGREES OF SUCCESS

rolled 88 = 88

>>8145458
>>8145688
>ROLL AS HIGH AS YOU CAN
>AS HIGH AS YOU CAN

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

OW, IGNORE THAT FAGGOT

BREAK HIS FACE WITH HIS OWN SHIELD

rolled 20 = 20

OW! KICK THAT FUCKER IN THE NUTS!

rolled 99 = 99

>>8145633
RAAAAAGE

>>8145742
NOW HE EATS HIS SHIELD AND HIS TEETH

>>8145506
RIDING OFF THE SEETHING RAGE CAUSED BY THAT STUPID WENCH, YOU HEADBUTT THE EVER LIVING AND UN-LIVING FUCK OUT OF THE GUARD CAPTAIN'S FUCKING FACE. HE DROPS LIKE A BITCH AND BLEEDS FROM THE EYES, NOSE, MOUTH, AND EARS LIKE A COMPLETE PUSSY!

>>8145540
THAT WAS OBVIOUS FUCKFACE!

>>8145752
GLORIOUS

NOW THE FUCKING BALLAD.

>>8145752
OW, ASK HIM AGAIN WHERE THE FUCK THE VILLAGE'S LEADER IS

THIS THREAD IS PRETTY FUCKING GAR

>>8145742
SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR FFFFFFFFFFF-

YOUR RAGE METER FILLS UP ONE MORE BAR! BONUS TO DAMAGE AND ATTACK!

CONTINUE YOUR RAGING ASSAULT OR KNOCK THE VILLAGE'S MAYOR OVER FOR ALL HE'S WORTH?!

>>8145849
OW

CHALLENGE THE MAYOR TO FISTICUFFS TO CONTROL THE VILLAGE

AND ASK OLGA HOW THAT BALLAD IS COMING ALONG

>>8145849
RAMPAGE ALL OVER MAYOR'S HOUSE!

Oh
I say, do cease this senseless violence, what sort of gentleman are you, beating civic servants senseless.

>>8145849
OW CUT THE MOTHER-FUCKING GUARDS HEAD OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rolled 1 = 1

>>8145933
I FUCKING FUCKED UP MY FUCKING ROLL
CUT THAT GUARDS HEAD OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>8145932
WE'RE PULP ANTI-HEROES, FAGGOT

>>8145942
YOU'RE DAMN FUCKING RIGHT YOU FUCKED THAT ROLL UP, FAGGOT. GOOD THING YOU DIDN'T OW IT

>>8145942
Oh

I say that roll was bollox, and you should be boxed in the tallywhacker for insinuating that was better than your first roll.

Oh

Do profess your true and gentelmanly love to your virtuous lady, it wouldn't hurt to bathe on the occasion either.

>>8145873
YOU TELL THAT BITCH TO GET CRACKING ON THAT BALLAD AND STOMP YOUR WAY TO THE VILLAGE LEADER'S HOUSE. HE IS GROTESQUELY FAT AND SEEMS TO BE ALREADY SWEATING IN OBVIOUS TERROR LIKE BIG SISSY.

>>8145999
OW stands for Olaf Whistleaxe, our Viking's name. It isn't an exclamation; we're telling him by his initials to follow a course of action.

>>8146010
OW EXCHANGE THE LIFE OF ALL THE VILLAGERS AGAINST ALL THEIR GOLDS AND WOMEN

>>8145999
WHO THE FUCK IS OH? IS IT SOME NEW CALM GENTLEMANLY BRITISH FIGHTER WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT YET?

>>8146010
OW, TELL HIM TO GIVE YOU SUPPLIES FROM THE VILLAGE STORES OR FACE THE WRATH OF OLAF WHISTLEAXE

rolled 51 = 51

>>8146026
OW this (pay up or we kill all you motherfuckers)

>>8146026
>>8146034
>>8146051
YOU LOVE THIS PART OF THE PILLAGING.

"S-sir, we can't just hand over e-everything! What will become of the village?"

"YOU WANT TO GO DOWN THIS ROAD OLD MAN?!"

"B-but sir!"

BY THE HAMMER OF THOR! THIS LITTLE PISS ANT OF A MAYOR IS JUST PUSHING IT. THINGS MIGHT HAVE TO GET PHYSICAL UNLESS YOU JUST WANT TO LOOT WHAT YOU CAN CARRY.

>>8146162

OW DEMAND HIM TO FILL YOUR LONGBOAT WITH EITHER HIS GOLD OR HIS DEAD

rolled 13 = 13

>>8146162
OW break one of his fucking limbs, maybe cut off a hand. hurt him but try not to make the little bitch pass out. pain motivates EVERYONE to co-operate/see reason!!!

>>8146162
OW YOU CAN'T TAKE EVERYTHING.
JUST TAKE WHAT YOU CAN CARRY.

AND, AND TAKE A FEW GOOD LOOKING WOMEN TOO.

>>8146024
Oh

I say, you are quite unrefined and need a time in a proper English school. Manners, posture, and precision make an englishman an English Man, you sir should endeavor to be both. Proper and prim, polite and posh, with a top hat on your head and a cane under arm, you can't properly pillage anything if you look like you were born in the cheapside of Cheapside.

Oh

If I may inquire, where did you find that hussy she would hardly be fit to be a chambermaid let alone a bride of a future dapper gent as yourself, you really must increase your standards if you are to ever rise above your current classic predicament.

Oh

My god man, what are you doing bullying that fellow. He has done nothing to deserve your ire, unless of course he defamed your streetwa...woman that you have forced into your cruel servitude. Even chambermaids deserve a prim and proper courtesy after all they clean up your shit.

Oh

If you'd just take time and invest your money in a proper stock company you would have a fine carriage and porter to hold onto your new belongings that you have so callously withdrawn from the possesion of these upstanding commoners. What I say, What do you plan to do with all that excessive cargo, surely you don't plan to open a gentleman's parlor, not one of your cut and fit.

>>8146242
>Hussy
>HUSSY

NOBODY TALKS LIKE THAT ABOUT OLGA

SHE MAY BE A BITCH, BUT SHE IS OUR BITCH

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

>>8146197
YOU KEEP NEGOTIATING AND THE MAYOR STARTS CRYING LIKE A PUSSY!

SUDDENLY OLGA DECIDES THAT YOU MIGHT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY!

"Could you stop being retarded for fucking five minutes Olaf?! This is a small village with only one real guard! do you honestly fucking believe they have enough gold to fill your longboat?"

FUCKING OLGA AND HER FUCKING LOGIC! THAT FUCKING CUNT!

>>8146360
Oh

I fear there may be no hope for you, I bid you good luck.
Cherrio.

>>8146380
OW ASK DIRECTIONS TO THE NEAREST CASTLE/CITY.
THAT WAS FUNNY, BUT IT'S TIME FOR SOME REAL PILLAGING

>>8146242
>>8146352
YOU DEVELOP A SUDDEN URGE TO SACK THE ENTIRE COUNTRY OF BRITAIN!

dice 1d100
OW FUCKING BREAK THE FOURTH WALL AND FUCKING KILL THIS BRITFAG!

rolled 94 = 94

>>8146453
OW DO IT

>>8146380
OW, FINE

TELL THE MAYOR TO GIVE US ENOUGH SUPPLIES TO REACH THE NEXT BIGGEST VILLAGE OVER.

>>8146380

TOO MUCH BITCHING NOT ENOUGH BALLADING

OW GET ARMOR, WEAPONS, GOLD AND SHROOMS

Hey OW...I just stole your axe.

>>8146453
OW SUDDEN DESIRES ARE A THING TO FULFILL. DO EET!

>>8146469
LEARN HOW TO ROLL DICE YOU DOUBLE FAGGOT SHIT STAIN!
>>8146473
YOU FUCKING GET ALL THE FUCKING SUPPLIES YOU NEED AND ABSCOND WITH YOUR WENCH! TOSSING YOUR BOAT INTO THE WATER AND LEAPING ON TO IT, YOU FUCKING ROW YOUR ASS OVER TO BRITAIN! SOME TEA DRINKING PANSY FUCKS ARE IN FOR A RUDE INTERRUPTION!

>>8146621
FUCK YEAR

>>8146621
FUCK YEAR

OW ABOUT WE DESTROY THEIR FUCKING NAVY WITH FIRE AND AXE

>>8146644
>>8146653
FUCK YEAR MIND

>>8146621

OW

HATE AND CURSE THE SEA WITH SUCH INTENSITY THAT HE WAVES THEMSELVES BOIL WITH ANIMOSITY

>>8146653
TOO MUCH SEA EXPOSURE.

OW LET'S PILLAGE LONDON.

DID THEY GIVE US SOME FUCKING FOOD!? IF NOT OW DEMAND SOME GODDAMNED FOOD AND A FISHING SPEAR, BECAUSE ONLY FAGGOTS USE FISHING POLES

Oh

I say Willmoore, do you hear that? If I knew better I'd say that was the sound of that rather angry fellow rowing his way over, he must be coming to tea. Smashing, boil up another pot we're having guests, oh and put away the china they seem to be a tad belligererent.

>>8146621
OW JOIN FORCE WITH JOAN OF ARC.
ENGLAND BURNS.

>>8146653
DO YOU MEAN TO INSULT OLAF'S INTELLIGENCE? THE BRITISH HAVE NO NAVY! YOUR FUCKING MAST SNAPPED OFF SOMEWHERE DURING THE TRIP ODDLY ENOUGH.

>>8146739
Oh

That froggy harlot wouldn't know a sword from a butter churn, besides when have the french ever won a proper battle on English soil.

>>8146800
>when have the french ever won a proper battle on English soil.
American revolution?

>>8146800
Battle of Avignon

>>8146850
That whole thing was a race to the bottom, attempting to figure out who was more vile, the french, or traitorous hicks.

>>8146872
butthurt much, you yankee satellite?

>>8146852
eh what...IIRC battle of avignon was an invasion of the then arab held city of avignon in france,
1. not in england
2. not english

less war derail, more BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

>>8146926
Actually a yank myself. I rather enjoy having the revolutionaries portrayed in the worst light possible because it makes the English Crown look EVEN WORSE because they lost to them.

I'm also a Texan. That little revolution of ours was just an exercise in "HAHAHAHA, Holy SHIT Mexico. Seriously?"

>>8146850
>>8146852
>>8146872
>>8146872
>>8146926
>>8146935
also derail, that was a rhetorical question

>>8146791
OW

HOPE WE HIT LAND SOON, FOR NOW, ASK OLGA HOW OUR BALLAD IS COMING ALONG

>>8146791
OW FIND SOME BRITISH LAND TO BURN ALREADY

WHAT IS THIS CRAP?! WE MUST CONTINUE PILLAGING

>>8146714
YOU SON OF A WHORE, DOUBLE-FAGGOT ASS STAIN!"

>>8147025
Oh

I say that was a rather unsportsmanlike jab, fine then, the gloves are on, have at you!

>>8147025
OW AXE HIM THE DIRECTION TO THE NEAREST BIG CITY.
WITH MAXIMUM PREJUDICE.

rolled 13 = 13

>>8147061
OW USE SKY-UPPERCUT

>>8147061
GETTING ON WITH OUR FUCKING QUEST RIGHT NOW! FROM NOW ON OSWALD HITCHCROFT IS TO BE TREATED AS THE DEAD.

>>8147149
OW WHAT IS OLGA DOING ABOUT THE FUCKING BALLAD?

>>8147149
OWKAY THEN

ARE WE BACK TO >>8146380?

IF SO, THE NOW DEMAND HIM TO FILL YOUR LONGBOAT WITH EITHER HIS GOLD OR HIS DEAD

IF NOT, HOPE WE HIT LAND SOON AND ASK OLGA HOW THAT BALLAD IS COMING ALONG

Is part one of this shit archived? I don't think I've ever laughed so heartily during a quest thread

>>8147203
YOU CHECK IN ON THE BALLAD'S PROGRESS.

"Step the fuck back Olaf. I'm working on it."

THE WENCH SAYS SHE IS WORKING ON IT. THAT'S FUCKING GOOD! YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO BEAT HER LIKE A DIRTY RUG.

>>8147311
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Olaf%20Whistleaxe

>>8147311
OP HERE. PART 1 WAS KIND OF SHITTY BUT SOMEONE DID ARCHIVE IT ANYWAY.

>>8147325
OW IS PLEASED.
HE CAN HUG OLGA TO SHOW ENCOURAGE HER.

NOW FIND A BIG CITY TO PILLAGE.

>>8147325
OW, THATS GOOD

NOW, PRAY TO LORD ODIN TO LEAD US TO LAND WITH A ROAR OF PURE RAGE

>>8147335
YEAH THAT WAS ME, I FUCKING ARCHIVE WHAT I WANT.
I ALSO ALREADY ARCHIVED THIS THREAD.

>>8147350
>>8147347
SAME TIME COMBINE

MAY LORD ODIN'S WRATH LEAD US TO OUR NEXT PILLAGING SITE

>>8147325
OW
LET'S GO GET OLGA HER OWN WENCH. IT SHOULD HELP HER WRITE THE BALLAD IF SHE KNOWS SHE IS APPRECIATED

>>8147347
>>8147350
YOU GIVE THAT UPPITY BITCH A REWARD AND HUG THE EVER LOVING FUCK OUT OF HER! THE YOU LET LOOSE A POWERFUL ROAR TO THE ALL FATHER! IT IS FUCKING TIME TO RUIN SOMEONE ELSE'S SHIT RIGHT FUCKING NOW AND YOU WANT THAT HALF BLIND MOTHERFUCKER TO KNOW IT TOO!

>>8147368
OP HERE, GOOD JOB YOU BADGER CUNT MOTHER FUCKER!

>>8147475
DON'T MENTION IT YOU PISSCUNT ASSHOLE.
NOW BACK TO FUCKING PILLAGING SHIT.

>>8147461
OW. MORE LOOTING AND PILLAGING. WE ARE ALSO IN ENGLAND, GRAB SOME SCONES. THAT SHIT IS TASTY WITH CREAM AND JAM.

>>8147534
OW WE ARE CURRENTLY AT SEA

IF WE FOLLOW YOUR COURSE OF ACTION, WE WILL PROBABLY BE CRASHING ON THE SHORE AND FLYING OUT

AGAIN

YOU KNOW WHAT, WE'RE GOING TO FLY ANYWAY. LET'S CATCH ANOTHER BIRD AND HAVE OLGA COOK THAT SHIT SO WE CAN HAVE SOME FOOD.

>>8147534
YOU FUCKING RANSACK AND PILLAGE, BURNING DOWN THIS ONE REALLY FUCKING HUGE CLOCK THEY HAVE IN A BUILDING. FUCKING ENGLISH PEOPLE AND THEIR FUCKING CLOCKS! GRABBING SCONES AND JAM AND HONEY AND CHEESE AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN PHYSICALLY CARRY, YOU RUN INTO THE GRAND HALL OF ENGLISH TECHNOLOGY READY TO PISS ON BLUE PRINTS AND BREAK SHIT WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING FUCKING CRAZY.

SADLY SINCE YOU CAN'T FUCKING READ THEIR SHIT SCRIBBLES, YOU SHOVE OLGA AT THE SIGN TO DO IT FOR YOU.

"A... 'Fanciful levitation Invention Gains Height to Travel" mechanism."

GUYS! WHAT THE FUCK DID ALL THAT SHIT MEAN?!

>>8147675
OW LEE-VAAH-TEI-SHUN?! WHAT THE HELL?! GRAB ONE OF THEM BRITS AND TELL HIM TO TELL OLGA TO TELL YOU WHAT IT DOES!

>>8147675
OW SOME BRITISH PANSY SHIT. BURN IT.

>>8147714
YOU MANAGE TO SNAG ONE OF THE THINNER LOOKING ONE WEARING THE ODD GARB. HE PLEADS FOR HIS LIFE FOR ABOUT THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF THE MEETING UNTIL YOU SHAKE HIM A FEW TIMES!

AFTER A LITTLE BACK AND FORTH BULLSHIT BETWEEN HIM AND OLGA, SHE LOOKS AT YOU EVEN MORE CONFUSED THAN SHE NORMALLY IS, WHICH IS FUCKING SAYING SOMETHING.

"He... says it will let us fly."

THE FUCK?! WHAT KIND OF SORCERY IS THIS?!

>>8147930
OW DEMANDS TO PILLAGE FROM THE SKIES, FORCE LITTLE MAN TO DO IT.

AND WHERE THE HELL IS MY LUNCH?!

>>8147930
OW

DEATH FROM ABOVE? DEATH FROM ABOVE!

BUMPITY-BUMP

>>8147930
WE SHALL ASCEND TO ASGARD, AND JOIN THE RANKS OF VALHALLA

OLGA CAN BE OUR SEXY PERSONAL VALKYRIE

>>8147959
>>8147961
BY FREYA'S TITS! WE'RE UP IN THE FUCKING AIR! THE LITTLE MAN HAS MANAGED TO AT LEAST STOP CRYING BY NOW WHICH IS FUCKING AWESOME. EVEN OLGA HAS SHUT HER FUCKING MOUTH UP WHICH IS TERRIFIC! THIS HAS TO BE ONE OF THE GREATEST THINGS YOU'VE EVER FUCKING DONE! YOU CAN'T WAIT TO RUB THE VILLAGE ELDER'S NOSE ALL FUCKING INTO THIS SHIT!

>>8148175
OW, WE LOOK DOWN TO SEE WHERE WE ARE

ALSO, WATCH OUT FOR TALL THINGS, LIKE GIANTS.

>>8148211
edit: look FOR tall things, like giants.

>>8148211
THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME!

OW

THROW ONE OF YOUR COMPANIONS OVERBOARD, IT WILL BE AT LEAST FOUR TIMES AS AWESOME

>>8148400
OW, THROW THE ENGLISHMAN OVERBOARD

OW, DEMAND THE LITTLE MAN FLY THE AWESOME FLYING MACHINE ABOVE THE KING'S TREASURY. YOU DESIRE GOLD AND PRINCESSES.

>>8148400
>>8148417
THIS BETTER BE FUCKING WORTH IT!

>>8148494
OW OFF TO SEARCH FOR GIANTS!

>>8148542
WHERE IS YOUR BEARD OW? BEARD THE FUCK UP!

>>8148494
OW, YELL AND SEE IF HE LANDED SAFELY

IF HE DID, TELL OLGA TO SET US DOWN SO WE CAN BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF WHATEVER IS ON THE GROUND

>>8148542
>demand money and whores from the little man

>demand after you threw him overboard

OW
YOU HAVE DONE IT WRONG, BUT OH SO RIGHT, WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LITTLE MAN TO FLY THIS SHIT, GO CRASH THOR'S CASTLE IN VALHALLA, RIGHT NOW.

>>8148543
OW, THIS

LET US SEE IF WE CAN'T START TO RAGNAROK AND ROLL A LITTLE EARLY AND KILL US SOME FUCKING GIANTS

THAT OUGHT TO IMPRESS THAT OLD SON OF A BITCH

ALSO, ASK OLGA HOW SHE'S HOLDING UP.

>>8148543
"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEPING PULLING THIS SHIT?! I CAN'T FLY THIS THING!!! YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO EVEN TRY TO! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

>>8148646
OW, KISS HER PASSIONATELY ON THE LIPS

MAYBE THAT WILL SHUT HER YAP

>>8148421
>>8148554
NOW WHERE THE HELL WAS I? OH YEAH!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

>>8148667
Too l8 for the game now?

>>8148665
OW, MAY THE POWER OF OUR LUST AND RAGE DRAW THE POWER OF ODIN TO OUR AID IN THIS FLYING CONTRAPTION

>>8148682
PULL LEVERS AND PUSH BUTTONS OR SOMETHING!

IF THERE IS NO WAY TO STOP OR CONTROL THE MACHINE, THEN BREAK THE MACHINE!

rolled 30 = 30

OW SET YOURSELF ON FIRE AND LEAP FROM THE BASKET AIMING FOR THE LARGEST STRUCTURE YOU CAN SEE ON THE WAY DOWN EAT THE MUSHROOM.

KILL. EVERYTHING.

...If you survive! YOU GIANT PUSSY.

>>8148665
IF THIS DOESN'T CALM HER DOWN, I AM GOING TO BE PISSED WITH YOU!

>>8148790
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING US IF IT CALMS HER DOWN!? SHE'S YOUR FUCKING DMPC!

>>8148790
OW, NOW LAUGH UPROARIOUSLY AT OUR GRAND ADVENTURE AND FIND A WAY TO STEER THIS FUCKER TO SOMEWHERE WE CAN PILLAGE AND PLUNDER

>>8148814
This. Now.

OW, YOU NEED TO JOIN THE MILE HIGH CLUB BEFORE YOU STEER THIS THING ANYWHERE. DO IT! HOMERUN!

>>8148814
YOU DON'T LAUGH. YOU JUST HAD TO KISS THE IDIOT WOMAN. RIGHT NOW YOU ARE TRYING TO THINK OF HOW TO GET THE FUCK DOWN. YOU ARE ALSO STILL REGRETTING TOSSING THE PILOT OUT OF THE FLYING MACHINE.

>>8148934
OW THROW YOUR AXE THROUGH THE BALOON

>>8148934
OW, WHAT IS IN THE BASKET WITH US

CAN WE SEE ANY LEVERS OR THINGS TO PULL?

PRAY TO THE ALL FATHER TO GIVE YOU THE RAGE TO POSSIBLY PILOT/LAND/CRASH THIS PIECE OF SHIT SAFELY!

>>8148943
YOU TOSS YOUR AXE THROUGH THE BALLOON ON A WHIM!
>>8148980
PRAYING TO ODIN ABOUT NOW MIGHT NOT BE A BAD IDEA!

>>8149024
OW, GRAB A HOLD OF OLGA AND HANG ON FOR ODIN'S SAKE

>>8149080
WELL FUCK! TO BE CONTINUED LATER ASSHOLE!

>>8149108
This thread was pretty awesome =D

>>8149108
Yeah, thanks.
Love your threads every single time.

I would like to point out that there was almost no railroading. We went to fucking England and you fuckers screwed up the hot air balloon ride. Good job.