sup /masseffect/?

>THAT ALIEN

Should have been "THAT MALE" or something instead, but overall it was really amusing.

We have consensus. We advise that you move away from limited gaming systems such as forty thousandth edition and related products.

We also assert that salarians are the least thematically adept of all known organic species and that their propensity for homosexual intercourse is significant.

At least he's not a Batarian.

So anyone heard that rumor about Shepard coming back from the dead?
Crazy right?

I like 30th edition best because it was the last edition written by Robo-Gygax. Say what you will, but "Black Hole of Horrors" is THE classic module and you know it.

>>8186796
We have not accessed this data before.

Elaborate.

>>8186768

Ah, the so-called 'roleplaying'.....

Oh man, don't even get me started. We have this asari that comes into our local gaming station. Total hambeast, but she thinks everyone is attracted to her because 'her psychosexual aura includes gaming'.

>>8186807
You know. Commander Shepard. The First human Spectre? There's even a fan club for him started by some guy call ConradN7.

>>8186808
YOU GOT FUCKING BANNED FOR INSISTING MOOT WASN'T REAL, FUCK OFF BACK TO COUNCIL.NET

I always hear a lot of shit about letting Quarians into a gaming group. People claiming they'll steal all your dice, or that they don't chip in for their share of food, or whatever. It'll bullshit, trust me - the Quarian who games with us is brilliant, never had any problems with her.

>>8186824
The suggestion that the Shepard-Commander returns is significant. We must build consensus.

I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favourite edition of D&D on the Citadel

>>8186824
Oh my god I totally had that guy Conrad in my gaming group. Every single character he made was called 'Shepard' and every single action he took was 'to save the universe'. We kicked him out eventually.

>>8186768
You play with a krogan? What does he run, a Cleric?

Whatever you do, don't let Asaris into the group.

Ugh, they've killed every group I've ever been in.

>>8186859

Hey, fuck you, not all Krogan fit the "HURR DURR FIGHTAN". I actually had one in my group a few years ago, he played one of the deepest characters in the campaign.

I cannot *stand* Renegade players. We're mostly Paragon or Unaligned, but there's this fucking Krogan who always insists on playing Renegade.

Important NPC who doesn't bend over a barrel as soon as the party speaks to him? HURRR I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.

BBEG about to break into the monologue I spent an hour and a half preparing? DURRR I SHOOT HIM

Fuck. We'd kick him out, but for god's sake, he's a Krogan. We're terrified he'd just kill us all.

>>8186872
Oh, so you normally play with Elcor and Volus?

>>8186838
Right.
>>8186850
Suck to be you.

Also anyone having problem with VI DM? I swear the VI are trying to kill my Geth character.

>>8186872
Next you'll be telling me he ditched you for an Asari who liked his poetry.

>>8186871
and have you noticed that all the asari gamers out there are complete ham beasts?

>>8186768

Kill his character, tell him he has to roll a natural 1 on a d1000 to be allowed to rejoin the party.

Pfft fucking luddite faggots. Enjoy your PnP escapism bullshit while I play Fields of Fantasy with 11 billion other bros over the extranet no imagination or faggy autodice required.

I bet you cavemen even read printed books. Get a life, seriously.

>>8186898
Galaxy of Fantasy, bro.

Galaxy.

>>8186872
>>8186876
...That was..

>>8186882

Well you know how most people can't help but always go on about how their Quarian HATES THE GETH SO MUCH or their human has SUCH A GRUDGE AGAINST THEM DANG TURIANS?

I totally expected this Krogan to have some Krogan Battlemaster who took every opportunity to kill Salarians. The usual, you know? Nuh-uh, his character would take hate for stuff the other guys did, and he'd say these little things that would just stop us dead for a second.

>>8186914
That's almost impossible to find in a Krogan.

Hey guys, I know you're into your D&D 40 troll thread right now, but have you ever heard of this game called Traveller? It's about 200 years old, but it's fantastic! It's so weird seeing how people used to think about the galaxy before we found those relays.

>>8186925

Exactly my point. I know they're rare, but they exist. I'll give any Krogan a chance because of that one guy.

>>8186898

Fuck you, bro. It's a miracle I managed to scrape up the creds to buy the books to play PnP. There's no way I could afford a private extranet terminal AND the monthly fees. The sooner I'm finished my pilgrimage the better, I feel so fucking ashamed of where I'm squatting I have to get my group to drop me off two levels higher and walk the rest of the way home.

Anyone know the stats for Sovereign? We're trying to re-create the battle for the citadel in a one-shot session.

Man, what do you guys do about biotic implants? We've got an asari and a krogan with them in our group. I'm pretty sure they both use them to affect the dice rolls, but when I bring it up the krogan threatens to rip out my skull and beat me to death with it, and the asari just says 'sure' and starts to kind of... writhe... to take them out.

The worst part is I think they are feeling each other up biotically under the table now.

>>8186937
I got a Krogan in my group once. He threw the table at me.
>>8186930
I actually prefer the 40k thing even thought it's ban because of HURR DURR XENO RACIST.

Man, my DM can't balance encounters for shit.
So me, I play a Salarian Infiltrator(Yeah I know, min maxer derp derp) and the rest of my party is a turian Vangaurd, a Krogan Adept (I know rite?), and three human soldiers. The party is only 5th level and the DM throws some fucking Rachni at us in groups of 5 - 7. And after the party almost dies He barely gives us an option to not fight the Rachni Queen in the next damn room. The only way we got out alive is we just blew up the station instread of clearing it out. Ugh.

>>8186953
It's not banned back on Earth.

>>8186850

In my group, I had that Hasari who always wanted to be Blasto. Ever since he saw that stupid stupid movie, every characters he did was Blasto or a variant. Also, we have to always be super polite in-game and out-game whenever we speak to him.

THAT MAKES ME RAGE AND IT'S ANNOYING!

But he's the one who provide the beer for free so what can we do?

>>8186949
This might be significantly outside your organic timeframe, but we have data concerning an entity called the Lady of Pain.

Sovereign is equivalent.

I just got a new Fighting Man deck for the next campaign. Any tips?

>>8186954
what are the players?

>>8186949
>stats for Sovereign?
You playing those Homemade Stat?
And I thought the Sovereign was just rumor. The news said that a rogue Spectre did it. Then again you can't trust the news.

>>8186949
He was just a giant Geth ship. If you could find the suppliment that deals with ship-to-ship combat, then take the most powerful Geth ship and maybe make it, like, three times as powerful or something?

>>8186969
dont be a fuckin tool shepard fought soveign, she sed he was a REAPER!!!1 not geth

>>8186957
Really? I thought the councils ban them everywhere.

>>8186978
Wasn't Shepard a guy?

Also, I was just asking for Sovereign's stats for when we get to the naval battle.

>>8186950
We've got a ban on all Biotics for exactly that reason. Quarians as well, the theiving bastards'll clean out out AND hack the electronic dice to make sure they never fail a roll.

>>8186986
Well, technically nothing about it is racist towards the council races and its entirely fictional, there's no need to ban it inside Alliance space.

>>8186965
I'm a human, we got a Turian chick playing the vanguard and her boyfriend plays the Krogan. The three human soldiers are a Quarian guy, and 2 of my friends. DM is a Hanhar.

Are none of you dumbfucks capable of banning omni-tools and bio-amps in the gaming module? Fucking hell.

>>8186989
The Quarians are fine as long as you doesn't say a word about their home or invite a Geth to play with you. Boy did I learn that the hard way.

>>8186895

Dunno where you've been finding your asari. We had this kickass matriarch in our group. Voice was a bit gravly, but, her dad was a krogen, so, not surprising.

>>8186954

Man, that's nothing. We had a pretty decent group, but no optimizers. A Human Vanguard, Krogan Battlemaster, an Asari Commando, a Turian Infiltrator, and a Salarian Scientist.

We're level 3 or 4, just getting off of the Citadel, and what does he throw at us? A Geth Armature.

I mean, really?

>>8186989
They do not. Man what is it with people and Quarians? I have two of them in my group and they're awesome to play with.

>>8187005
You don't honestly believe that, right? My brother lost his job to a Quarian because it was willing to work for less pay. I don't even know why we allow them in Council space.

Lucky fuckers, our GM refuses to run anything but Don't Discharge Your Drive. We rarely last more than three sessions.

>>8187011
Shit man, that's rough.

>>8187018
We have consensus. Your brother lost his job for inefficiency and a lack of dedication to his function.

>>8186977

Godfucking damnit, I thought the servers for this bot were shot, like, ages ago.

>>8186996
Cool. Guess I'll find a flight back to Earth then. Even though I enjoy being far away from the Citadel.

>>8186948
Shouldn't you be selling salvage or finding work or a suitable gift? What the fuck are you doing playing D&D on your pilgrimage??

Keelah fucking se'lai, you're the cancer killing the Migrant Fleet, dirty parasite. I bet you haven't even hacked your first geth trooper.

>>8187018
Well that's exactly the reason why we let them into Council space. They work harder for less pay.
And they can be helpful too. One of them even repair an old Computer for me.

hey how do I spoil a text?

>>8186998
A Hanhar DM? Oh man I can only imagine the speeches he makes for the storytelling.

>>8187018

You know how poor those guys, are, right? Most of the time they just eat leftover turien paste. Had this one Q girl in our group, she was always coming up with the most convoluted plans for things, it was hilarious. You are so missing out.

>>8187053
[spoiler]blablablah[/spoiler]

>>8187054
THIS ONE'S KIND IS KNOWN AS THE HANAR, NOT THE 'HANHAR'.

Shepard of the Humans.

Worst Mary Sue ever.

>>8187011
You think that's bad? Our GM just pulled a "Collectors attack, everyone dies" on us. The BBEG turned up early in the game to taunt us, like they do, with a pair of Geth Armatures as bodyguards. Fortunately we've got two Quarian Machinists in our group, and they both use AI hack. I don't know how they did it, but both of them got a string of Nat-20's, enough for the hack to take effect even though the Armatures had their shields up.

BBEG is reduced to a burned crisp within a few rounds. GM is pissed but doesn't do anything at the moment. Next session, we check out an abandoned colony, and suddenly lololol collector swarm you're all dead.

Prick.

>>8187041
I know you probably served on the homeworld, buddy, but there's no reason to be so bitter. The average Pilgrim has next to no credits, half of them are indentured! Let them have their fun, you can't expect them to spend all their Pilgrimage piggybacking with a Spectre or investigating ruins.

>>8187060
How can you even access Human server?!

Does anyone have any tips for making a useful volus character? I'm not looking to optimise but they don't seem to give any benefits to the party except for trading, and that's for fags anyway, everyone gets everything they need through loot.

>>8186998
>>8187054

Hanhar was a character from Warriors of the Ancient Republic 2, dumbfucks.

>>8187054
He's actually very good at the story and role playing, but he just can't balance the encounters. It's always either too easy, or we all almost die. It's fun, but I can only complain so much.

>>8187072
Fucking turians.

>>8187063
What an asshole. Are you still in his group or did you change GMs?

>>8186930

Traveller?

Delicious awesome. Still have the manual. Don't even remember the last time I played. Neural weapons were sex.

>>8187072
Three key points: gas mixtures, heavy armour and heavy weapons.

Volus work well with Hanar because they can't accidentally be infected with the Hanar's toxin.

>>8187041
I've been digging through refuse piles 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, in the hope of coming across some scrap of that huge black Geth ship that attacked the Citadel the other scavengers missed. Maybe I can sell it or something and buy a run-down old ship to patch up and bring back to the Migrant Fleet.

Is it too much to ask for one day off a week to try and relax a bit?

>>8187055
Quarian chicks can be pretty damned cute, too.
This one I know just joined our gaming group and she always gets all nervous when she comes over.

Fucking Quarians. 'looking for my Pilgrimage gift' my ass, they're sitting around doing nothing but complain and steal loose change. Fuck 'em.

anyone else find interspecies romance creepy?

>>>8187108
hahaohwow.jpg

>>8187101

Oh, god, don't even get me started. The fucking hips and ass ours has, I have to keep myself from giving that a slap every time.

>>8187073
Oh fuck me I can't spell.
Thanks for pointing that out.

>>8187108
>anyone else find interspecies romance creepy?
LaughingAsari.jpg

>>8187118
You'd probably rupture her suit.

>>8187072
I have a volus in my group. He's a total rollplayer but he only plays volus characters so it keeps him from being too OP.

>>8187072
What are you talking about not useful? With the right build volus can be BIOTIC GODS

So uh, I was wondering.

This is /tg/ and all... anyone ever played a rachni?

And by played I mean 'fantasized about screwing'.

>>8187101

I've got one like that too. She's really sensitive about how other people see her, so I always try to make sure that she has food she's able to eat and that she feels comfortable.

We've got a Volus player who started hitting on her not even ten minutes into our first session. I wanted to breach the fucker's suit right then and there. I took him aside after the session and told him to knock it off. I apologized to her about it, and she seemed a little embarrassed that I cared so much.

>>8187089

We changed. Still, we also learned never to allow a Turian to GM. Step off their railroads for a moment and they pull this sort of shit.

The Krogan in our group is acting as a temporary GM, just running some simple, combat-heavy games while the Quarian and Salarian bicker over who's going to take over permenantly. The Quarian'll probably produce something good but you KNOW it'll boil down to the Geth in the end. The Salarian's GM'ed before and his stuff is a bit too high-brow for us, he throws puzzles and traps we don't have the first idea how to bypass.

>>8187108
Not me. Unless it's a Krogan (Or Asari, I swear that's not how they really look). That's always creepy.

>>8187125

What, slapping her ass? I'm not auged, and those things are thicker than they look.

Anyone know any good Splat books? I was thinking Complete Soldier, or Player Manuel 2, but I don't want to limit myself.

Played Darkest Heresy with an elcor once. You know, once you let them play Khornate berzerkers, all their smooth kindness goes right out the window.

The fucker demolished half our frigate before we could calm him down. Even got our quarian engineer to throw his wrench out the airlock and quit on the spot.

This... circut-song tastes of bitterness and anger. It is sour.

>>8187145
Yea. They're so used to people treating them like dirt, it's kinda awkward how greatful they are to find a group of people willing to look over all the bullshit propaganda spread about them, and aren't a bunch of creepy Q-fetishists.

Can someone tell me how to deal with this batarian in our group he does nothing but complain how this isn't an extranet game, and he likes to play LoLRenegade characters, me and turian in our group are getting pissed at him.

>>8187108
Nah, we're all really open minded about that sort of thing.

>>8187161
I spent three years as a slave once we finally let the Batarian DM a game. My only recommendation is bring pistols.

>>8187161
You don't. Batarians are the worst player you can ever find (Other than a Geth).

I heard this rumour, once, that there is a Batarian on Omega who gained an interest in old human RP systems. Apparently he rewrote something called 'F.A.T.A.L.' into some kind of masterpiece of a gaming system. Too bad you'd have to be in the Terminus systems to get your hands on it.

>>8187168
We have consensus. We disagree with this assertion.

>>8187161
Just kick him out. Batarians are always trouble, dude, trust me. They'll attack any human NPC's they come across, and probably take a pop at any human PC's as well if they get a chance. I'll take a Krogan over a Batarian in my group any day.

>>8187148
Good luck man, and I've heard that elcor are actually great DM's.

Anyone else played Iridiumclaw? I had a quick game with my usual DM (turian) and played a Thresher Maw, feces was credits.

>>8187172
No it's nothing wrong with a Geth. Except that sometime they cheat by bringing friends to the game...THE MORE GETHS THE SMARTER THEY GET.
>>8187171
I can actually try to go find it. Since I'm in the Terminus right now.

>>8187186
>In the Terminus System
I heard a rumor that colonies were dissapearing in that system. Any truth to that?

>>8187186
The number of standard platforms required to house sufficient geth to match the average salarian is excessive. Three to four platforms are approximately equivalent to the standard volus.

>>8187176
Agreed man. I went to see Elcor Hamlet, I was in tears.

>>8187199
>/tg/ never hears from STALKER again.

>>8187176
Our GM's an Elcor. He's excellent at writing stories, building worlds, creating believable NPC's, all that good stuff. It's just a pity he can't bring that to life as well as he should because of his voice. Our Asari's thinking about asking if she can co-GM - the Elcor makes the decisions and she actually announces them to the party.

>>8187186
>>8187200
I think some volus just got burned.

I am but 12 cycles in age, what is this?

>>8187219
Sounds like a good Idea.

>>8187159

Hell, the one we got seems to enjoy ANY attention, thats not bad. it..it's kinda sad, really. I'm torn between asking her out, or not, because I'm not 100% sure it's not just pity. I mean, she's funny, and a bunch of other stuff, too, but.....I just see her getting kicked around, and..well, it's fucked up.

>>8187226
Wait... cycles? Like, galactic cycles?

>>8187230
SHE COULD DIE

>>8187232
No Asarian cycles.

>>8187199
Don't know anything bout that. Last time I heard they've been an attack on Freedom's Progress. I just stay on my ship and float around.
>>8187200
There's about 20 Geth in the room when I play. He know every moves, skills, dice rolls.

Hey, does anyone have that fic with the Quarian who downloads illegally salvaged geth into her exosuit, and they interface with her neural stimulators?

>>8187219

Yeah, go for it.

>>8187241
Of what world? Don't fuck with me man, you meant galactic cycles! REAPER! REAPER HERE!

>>8187230
Yea, that's a problem and a half. I mean if it turns out to just be sympathy and things don't work out, splitting up would break her heart. But on the other hand, if you don't act you'll never know, and you could miss out on the best thing to ever happen to you. If you can deal with the lack of physical intimacy from the relationship, I'd say go for it.

>>8187232
I think he means years bro
>>8187230
Just make her feel welcome at the table man, not much more you can do.

>>8187230
Quarians are no pushovers. This one chick we had, she was out on her pilgrimage, some Turian started hitting on her and thought it would be funny to slap her on the ass. She threw him into the wall hard enough to put a fucking dent in it!

Man I loves me Q female suits... I mean dem hips.

>>8187235

What, you think I'm stupid!? I've read up on this stuff! You start slow, by, like, linking your suits. I'm saving up, for one, right now. Suit, that is. Damn things are expensive, but, it's not something you want to cut corners with.

>>8187261

But it doesn't mean I'm not a reaper either.

>>8187271
I can give you some... lessons, if you'd like, babe.

>>8187246
Oh, you on a ship? Well I guess you should be fine as long as there are no Batarain Pirates.

>>8187253
Ah, the so-called 'Reapers'.

>>8187286

Exosuit or GTFO!

>>8187267
Fucking Q-chasers. I don't know what's worse, people who give Quarians shit because of all the nasty rumours about them, or people who fetishise them because of the suits. One of my friends is a Quarian and she has to deal with that shit all the time - she actually went natural with one, once, and he ditched her afterwards without even paying the hotel bill. She almost died from the infection afterwards as well.

>>8187286
>Kal'Reegar
Oh goddamn I lol'd

>>8187292
Yeah, you'll be mine. In fact, me and my buddies are looking for a game - what are your co-ordinates?

>>8187277

Man, don't even start with that crazy shit.

>>8187258

Yeah, I know. We are good friends, either way, so, going to try the suit thing.But, take it really slow, all the same.

>>8187301
>mine
>Meant 'fine'

Chafing.

>>8187297

that shit sucks, man I wish there were more Quarians around me, always wanted to be one.

>>8187317
We can arrange similar circumstances. Please transmit the access codes for your homeworld defence grid.

Hey guys. Turian here. I just want to say that I think humans are pretty cool to have came up with these games. On to why I'm posting though. There's a Quarian in our group. Never really talked to one until then. One of my human bros invited her to the group.

She brought her own dice, her own food, and even a few extra supplement books just in case we need them. At first I was a little surprised. You would think that she'd just have it all digital. I'm getting a little side tracked though.

I think I like her /tg/. Is there a good way to ask her out?

>>8187286

*Sigh*

I'd let Kal give me 'lessons' any day...

>>8187321
Unzip her suit, plug it with your face.

>>8187292
Yep I'm on a small ship with a 2 human (crew and pilot), 1 turians (guard), 1 krogan(merc), 1 salarian (medic) and 1 quarian (engineer)

>>8187297

That....thats horrible. Did you do anything about it?

>>8187301
>>8187308
...Why don't you have a seat right over there please

>>8187321
Ask her out to dinner or something, you guys can eat the same food, right?

>>8187321

Take it slow dude, just be careful, some of us joke about fetishizing Q girls (I admit I like them because most are actually great to be around) but humans are like Quarian?!@ *fapfapfapfap*

>>8187321

I wish I knew. At least your amino acids match up, though.

>>8187125
I'd rupture her suit, if you know what I mean

>>8187301
No. Dear god no.
>>8187294
Foolish Organic. Before you know it. We'll be right on top of you.

>>8187321
Just act natural. Don't try and come over all over-protective, and make sure you don't just seem like you want to see her with the suit off. Make sure you're educated as to what exactly Quarians need - their dietary requirements, for example.

Really, the best advice would be to treat her with respect, like you would a member of your own or of any other species.

>>8187344

dude, so not cool.

unless you meant that in a way pertaining to mating, then I'd still go with take it slow, what are you some damn human-krogan halfbreed?

>>8187323
Just the facts, ma'am.

>>8187346

STALKER, you ok, buddy? Your signal is all weird.

>>8187321
Watch the video about Quarian culture first so you'll have something to talk about.

>>8187355
We have assumed direct control.

>>8187203
How did you even get through that? 14 hours of zZZZZ. It's bad enough that we had a required alien literature module in the Palaven OCS, but now it's 8 times slower.

Honestly though, not all human stuff is bad. I remember seeing something called 'The Space Pirates of Penzance Cluster' by the human group 'Gilbert and Sullivan', they had this Salarian who sang really well, I can't remember his name but here's an extranet pic I found of the theatre company's old site.

>>8187351
Speaking of which, I heard they're going to be adding cross-breeds in the next supplement.

>>8187355
Assuming Direct Control.

>>8187327
Nah, this happened long before I met her. If I ever meet the guy I'm going to beat the tar out of him though, she's still pretty introverted and twitchy about relationships because of it. Most of the time she's cool, but you can see she's still affected. Part of me wonders if she thinks it was her fault somehow.

>>8187337
To dinner? Isn't that a little much to start out with? I mean yeah sure, we can eat the same food. The whole dinner angle seems like I'd be letting it on a bit heavy. Should I ask her out to something more casual like a movie? Not that Blasto one obviously, but you know?

>>8187343
This is something I never understood. Turians and Quarians have a lot of physical similarities but everyone I know keeps saying that Quarians have very human-like faces. What's up with that?
inb4ignorantbosh'tet

>>8187362
Alternatively, Fleet and Flotilla. Might be a bit cliched, mind.

>>8187379
Try Fleet and Flotilla, I heard it's an excellent story about Turian/Quarian relations, and the love scenes are top notch.

>>8187366

...huh. If I didn't know any better, Id say that guy is a doc on a station I visited, once.

>>8187363

...huh.

Keelah se'lai, and you sapients wonder why you don't have a chance with quarian girls. Here's a hint: STOP ACTING LIKE THE FACT WE'RE QUARIAN IS A BIG DEAL, YOU USLESS BOSH'TET.

>>8187375

This makes me as sad Prebal.

I hate seeing very nice Quarian girls get messed up in the head because of morons.

>>8187395

Young one, you /do/ know what 'bosh'tet' means, yes? Because you throw it around like you merely think you do. Such a crude display of our inter-ship lingo

>>8187353
Oh, Kal~

>>8187387
Isn't that a bit too obvious? I don't want to make it awkward if she doesn't feel the same way about me. Besides, I normally don't watch the show so I'd practically be the dark about it.

>>8187395
All due respect, it kinda is - any sort of cross-species relationship is a big deal (unless it's with an Asari, though I'll never see the attraction in those blue sluts), Quarians more so due to the issues posed by the suit and general prejudice hanging around them.

>>8187395
What, people looking out for Quarians is a bad thing? You'd prefer it if we just treated them like Vorcha or something? You... you... DOUBLE BOSH'TET

>>8187387
>>8187386

Fleet and Flotillamind

>>8187375

I know some people react like that. I hope you DO catch up with him, bastard.

>>8187385

Dunno, just one of those odd things, like the Asari, i guess.

>>8187395

whoa, not all of us think like that, I think a lot of us here are just all oooh quarian girls, is because of the girl part.

most of us live in our genetic contributors under room.

>>8187416
Well, why don't you take her to a bar or something first, for a drink? Then you can ask her out to the movies.

>>8187434
Yeah do this. You anywhere near Illium? I hear Eclipse there is real nice.

Why haven't they uplifted Varren yet? I want my marriage to Krorl to be legal, dammit.

I dunno, if taking her to dinner is laying it on thick, wouldn't a Turian taking a Quarian to a Turian/Quarian romance movie be a little...obvious?

Heck, is it even a romance? I'm in Sol, deep in Alliance space, I can't even get my hands on a copy.

>>8187422
It's true. I still live in my matriarch's engineering deck and I am nearing 450.

>>8187416
True. Talk to her casually, see if you can find some common ground with interests you both share other than Roleplaying. If there is something, maybe a shared taste in music or film or whatever, suggest you go to see something together. It doesn't matter *what* it is, so long as you've both got an interest in it and it'll give you a chance to be alone with her and find out if she feels the same way.

>>8187442
Fuck Illium, Afterlife on Omega is better for Quarians.

>>8187444
Enjoy your scale-itch freak

>>8187448

Who dude, taking care of her, or is it the damned galactic economy?

>>8187434
That's not a bad idea actually. Should I put on some face paint before the next campaign session? Normally it seems like such a hassle, but do you think it might help impress her?

>>8187453
Afterlife's ok for partying, but if you're trying something romantic, Eclipse is the better bet.

Turians. You are considered too Primitive
Krogans. You are a wasted potential.
Asari. You are weak. Relying on other species to reproduce.
Salarian. Your life span is too short and your genetic code is too fragile.
Drell. You are few in number.
Quarian. Weak immune system.
Human. You are destructive.

Fucking quarianophiles jesus get a life you double virgins. You're all probably those fat useless neckbeards I see browsing Omnitool H-games and Sha'ira hug pillows down in Shin Akiba, stop wasting the Citadel's air supply and go off yourselves please.

>>8187465
I work here.

Hey guys, I have a problem. I know it's a bit off topic, but I don't want to make a whole new thread about it that gets sagebombed anyway.
I have this turian guy in my group. I will just call him Septim. I know him for a really long time and I really like him - in a platonic way.
But recently he started to make a move on me. I don't have anything against interspecies relationships and all that jazz, but the whole situation is really uncomfortable, even though I am honestly a little bit flattered.
Any tips how to deal with this situation without hurting Septim's feelings and possibly busting our game-group?

>>8187467
It'd be a hell of alot better than going faceless

>>8187467

It can't hurt, I think. Go for it.

>>8187485
What race are you?

>>8187471

Ok, Stalkers signal is fucked to hell and back, and he's spouting crazy. Anyone on his end of the universe?

>>8187453
Afterlife? Are you insane? I heard people were getting poisoned in there!

>>8187475

actually I HAD a relationship with a nice Q girl, until some human meathead decided to take off with her.

Hey Ca/tg/irl, what's you friend's most common character name?

>>8187485
Headbutt him in the face, then drag him to his quarters for sex.

It will be the most relaxed relationship you can imagine.

>>8187471
what is wrong with him?

>>8187485
>Any tips how to deal with this situation without hurting Septim's feelings and possibly busting our game-group?

Don't freak out over it, or make him feel like he's somehow not normal. Just tell him you're flattered, but just not attracted to other men. It's no-one's fault, just an unfortunate situation.

>>8187485

Wow, that's rough. Uh, just try talking to him, explaining you don't feel the same? Try getting someone else to talk to him for you?

>>8187525

plus send him my way... wait he's not like eww is he?

>>8187487
>>8187492
Thanks! If it woks out, I'll let you guys know first. Here's hoping I don't mess it up.

>>8187485
Tell him you blew a Turian once and almost died from it. I doubt it will help but the look on his face would be priceless.

>>8187543
Why is this thing still around?

>>8187509

Nothing common. Girl's a bit of a linguist, she makes the name for each one up herself, and they all mean something.

>>8187554
Uplifted.

>>8187554
probably just the geth trying to troll us

It had been two weeks since Commander Shepard had returned to the Citadel. Two weeks since he had helped a Quarian called Lia'Vael, proving her innocence to an unenthusiastic C-Sec officer and an angry Volus. In that time Lia had repeatedly tried to find work, anything that made creds would do. She wanted to get off the Citadel, find somewhere else to continue her Pilgrimage, somewhere a little more friendly. She hadn't been lucky.

Most of the jobs around were either long-term positions or not open to Quarians. The stereotype of thieves and scavengers overpowering all courtesy and competence Lia displayed. She still slept at the Turian homeless shelter, thankful for what little they could offer in the way of food and comfort. They had attempted to help her find work, but had also had little success. Lia had finally decided to search further afield than just Zakera ward, hoping that she would find an employer more sympathetic to her situation.

She had spent some of her ever-dwindling funds on a public transport, deciding that the extra searching time it would give her was a good trade-off. The transport was fairly new, at least on the outside. It was probably bought after the Geth attack, replacing one of the countless vehicles lost in the destruction. On the inside, however, it looked as if it had been around for decades. Grime covered the windows and the floor had a delightful sticky quality. Other passengers were keeping to themselves, hardly any of them even noticing as she boarded. A group of Batarians were standing at the back of the compartment, talking amongst themselves loudly. An Elcor stood awkwardly in the middle of the aisle, nearly completely blocking it.

>>8187513
I blame the geth.

>>8187563

Dman was hoping it was my ex, because I could have told you who the fuckstick was.

Lia was suddenly jostled out of her inspection by a Turian. Two Turians, in fact. They barged past her roughly, knocking her to one side.
"Watch yourself," one of them chirped up as Lia regained her footing, "wouldn't want to damage that suit."

The smirk was clear on his face. Lia shook it off and found a seat that wasn't too stained. Unless it was so stained it had become a different colour, she couldn't tell. During the trip, the Batarians seemed to get louder and louder. She also had the unsettling feeling she was being examined. She glanced around several times, as discreetly as possible, but never saw the source of her discomfort.

By the time she disembarked from the transport, it was if the Batarians were shouting in her ear. Luckily they didn't get off at the same time she did. Unfortunately, the Turians did. She quickly turned away from them, wanting to get started with her search as soon as possible.

>>8187485
Oh crap. Just out of curiosity, what game is your group playing?

So I've been dabbeling in this 'PnP' system for a while. You know, making time pass during these atrocious conclaves. Raan just never shuts up. I've been playing with this group situated on the Citadel (What can I say, tightbeam links with the FTL buoys are handy), and it's going really well with the exception of this one turian.

This turian is a particularly nasty breed, constantly in a ruckus about his job in C-Sec. Honestly, it's such a bother to hear him whine and whine in my helmet, and just the sort of rubbish I would get if I were sitting besides Zaal.

What I'm asking is for a convenient little way to get rid of this Keelahawful specimen. Currently, our party is situated over Klendagon on some mediocre quest to retrieve some sort of 'grand bombard'. Our ship is your standard decomissioned Alliance frigate and our Captain is an upstuck little salarian with a god complex.

Any ideas?

>>8187501
I'm not that quarian from earlier if you thought that.
I'm human.

>>8187563
I'd study her tongue, if you know what I mean

>>8187575
Oh god. I do not like where this is going.

This is one of those creepy Quarian rape-fics, isn't it?

"Hey, wait!" It was one of the Turians, the one that didn't speak to her last time, "Sorry about knocking you earlier, you look like you're needing work."

Lia was surprised, as well as suspicious. However, she was desperate and it wasn't a great stretch to work out she was looking for job.

"Maybe I am, what's it to you?"

Her voice sounded shakier than she had intended, a symptom of undernourishment from having to survive on nothing but the equivalent of cheap gruel.

"My friend and I are on our way to an interview," the Turian explained, pointing to his colleague, "but we have a feeling that it wouldn't hurt our chances to have a tech specialist with us."

Lia shook off the way the Turian had assumed she knew about technology just because she was Quarian. She had been trained as an engineer and she needed work.

"This sounds a little shady, nothing illegal, I hope."

She didn't really care about the legality, but she felt that she could drive a harder bargain if they thought she was opposed to their plan.
"Of course not," the other Turian spoke up this time, "it's all above board, just a little... awkward with only the two of us."

Lia weighed up her options. If this job paid well enough, she could get off the Citadel today, find some good food, get a comfy room on a shiny frigate.

"Ok, I'm interested, lead the way."

The Turians led Lia through a maze of streets and alleys, each filled with people and lined with stores. She almost lost her guides a couple of times and had to run to keep up with them. As they progressed, though, the streets thinned out. Shops became fewer and further between, bars and clubs looking seedier the further they went. After fifteen minutes, they arrived in what looked like a deserted dead-end. It was full of crates that had seemingly been left lying around by lazy workers, but that was fairly standard of the Citadel. She looked around for a contact or a hidden entrance, but saw nothing.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" She spoke up, glancing around nervously, "It looks a little... empty."

The Turian who had spoke to her initially turned to her.

"We prefer to think of it as secluded."

She felt strong arms wrap themselves around her own, the second Turian had moved behind her silently. The first calmly walked over to her.

"What? Get off me, bosh'tet, I'll scream!"

She struggled frantically against her captor, but she was too weak, especially malnourished as she was. The first Turian removed a pair of handcuffs from one of the many pockets in his armour. He quickly and efficiently clasped Lia's wrists as his partner held them behind her back.

>>8187564
fucking upliftedfaggots. bunch of sick freaks.
>>8187571

oh sure always blame the Geth.

>>8187571
>>8187578
it's always those damn Geth

>>8187595
Yes, yes it is.


"Much better, I think. Excuse us while we make ourselves more comfortable." The Turian shoved Lia as he spoke, sending her sprawling into a wall which she bounced off, landing roughly on the floor. "Make yourself comfortable. Oh and feel free to scream all you want, it's not like anyone will hear you around here."

The Turians laughed as they removed what appeared to be crotch plates from their armour. From her angle on the floor, Lia could see their... equipment... hanging out of the newly made holes. She tried to get to her feet, but was hampered without the use of her arms. Before she could even steady herself one of the Turians grabbed her by the arm, dragging her over to one of the many crates and throwing her onto it. She landed on her back, nearly getting winded.

"I didn't think Turians cared so much about sex," she couldn't stop herself, even knowing that what she was going to say could only make things worse, "you bosh'tets always seemed so... uninterested in women."

"Funny girl," the one who threw her retorted as he began to move towards her legs, she now noticed that he was missing part of his left mandible, "maybe you'll come to appreciate how very interested we are."

Lia kicked weakly at the half-jaw, but her ineffectual attacks were quickly stopped when he grabbed her ankles. The other Turian moved to the other end of her, gripping her shoulders uncomfortably and holding her down. His manhood was hanging next to her visor, gently rubbing it, leaving a slimy trail that she could see out of the corner of her eye. Half-jaw had now pinned her legs at the thigh and positioned himself so that he was almost crotch-to-crotch with her.

>>8187580

aww, man. Would have been nice. Sorry, though.

>>8187592

Before you do anything, talk to him reasonably - tell him he's being a pain in the ass and you'd appreciate it if he'd knock it the hell off.

Lia couldn't do anything to fight back, the most she could manage would be to wrap her legs around the half-jaw, but that would probably encourage him more than anything.

"Keelah..." Lia whispered the name, her eyes starting to fill with tears.

"Don't worry," the Turian pinning her should had heard her, "I'll have you calling out my name instead before this is over."

The half-jaw leaned over her body, his erection slowly hardening as it rubbed against her thigh. He grabbed handfuls of her suit at the chest, smiling menacingly at Lia.

"Now, I'm afraid I may damage your suit a little, but I'm sure you can repair it."
With that, he yanked the fabric apart, tearing a giant hole through which Lia's chest was exposed to the frigid air of the Citadel. Tears flowed down her cheeks now, as her nipples hardened. She felt embarrassed, even with the current circumstances.

"Ooh, perky." The Turian holding her down said, his cock engorging noticeably against her faceplate. "Turian women don't do that."

I head the Plague on Omega came from a Turian and a Quarian "interfacing", something about the Quarian immune-system hijacking the Turian's and becoming infectious, could happen, I mean, they not only share dexto-aminos, the even have the same hand/toe/calf-spur structure.

>>8187525
>>8187534
I guess it's the best if I just tell him, thx for the advice.
I am just afraid that I don't find the right words.

Half-jaw cupped one of her breasts gently, which was surprising for a Turian. Lia gasped at the contact, usually it was dulled by her suit, something she had gotten used to after years of being confined due to her shortcomings. It almost felt... good. Her mind retreated at the prospect, she blushed, thankful it was hidden by her visor. She was ashamed that it felt good to her, thinking back to the advice she was given before embarking on her Pilgrimage. She wondered how she could explain the damage to her suit to anyone that noticed, what worried her even more was that she would be... tainted by the Turians. Few Quarians lost their virginity before returning from Pilgrimage, even fewer lost it during the trip.

Her mind was ripped back to what was happening by half-jaw, he was slowly circling her nipple with his tongue, the feeling was amazing. She blushed again, her eyes welling up more. The other Turian was now massaging her other breast, causing her body to shake with the pleasure. Her sobs reverberated inside her helmet.

"Please... please let me go."

Half-jaw slowly lifted his head, his tongue trailing the curvature of her breast and flicking her pert nub as he reluctantly drew himself away.

"But we're just getting started," his smile grew obscenely as he spoke, "you wouldn't really think about leaving us here all pent up like this, would you?"

The other Turian slid his other hand down from its position on Lia's shoulder, caressing her as it slid over her exposed skin. She sobbed again, the pleasure causing her more pain emotionally than any physical wound could. Cupping both breasts at the same time, he pushed them together gently, his thumbs circling around her nipples. He was fully erect now, as was half-jaw. She felt the two members rubbing against her still, one on her shoulder and one against her thigh. Half-jaw gripped her thigh with one hand, lifting her leg over his head as he moved around to her right side. He stood there for a couple of seconds, confusing Lia. Then she felt his hand moving down her stomach, first on skin, then onto the unbroken part of her suit. She could still feel the movement though, it was if her body had become hypersensitive from all the attention it was receiving. She inhaled sharply as the hand stopped in between her legs, not moving, just resting there. She looked up through tear-stained eyes at half-jaw, he looked back with a devilish smile at her.

>>8187620
>>8187613
>>8187605
>>8187597
>>8187585
>>8187575
...

Go on.

If we could feel offense, we would be offended.

Instead we are simply disappointed.

>>8187626

Don't worry about it. So long as you're not insulting or trying to offend him, it'll be fine. Make sure he knows you're still cool with hanging around with him and what not, you don't want to sever contact over this.

"Besides, we're not bad guys, this is equal opportunity pleasure."

He began to rub up and down, to Lia it felt as if she wasn't wearing a suit at all. His fingers doing everything right, sending waves of pleasure through her. She gasped, her back arching. The Turian massaging her chest smiled at half-jaw, his mandibles twitching. One of half-jaws fingers pressed harder, brushing briefly against her most sensitive 'erogenous zone'. This time, Lia moaned. She tried to catch it in her throat, to prove to herself that she wouldn't enjoy this. It was a terrifying thing to happen, she should be screaming and crying like she were begging for her life, but instead it seemed as if she were just accepting it. She thought of her parents, the things they had told her as she boarded the transport to start her Pilgrimage. She had let them down. Her chest hurt with the growing sorrow inside herself, but then another wave of pleasure washed through her, making her shake at the strength of the sensation.

"See? We're not bad at all."

>>8187590
Currently D&D 40th.
But most of the time we play Galaxy of Darkness.

Half-jaw drew his hand away, tracing it back up her body. He drew his fingers across her stomach, then put his hand down to the left of her, on the crate. He then mounted the crate, putting his knees either side of her body. His erection throbbed as it rested on her stomach, it's tip just touching her breasts. The other Turian spread them apart gently, still rubbing his thumbs around her nubs. Half-jaw shuffled forwards, burying his cock in her cleavage. The other Turian became to thrust his hips slowly, his member sliding against Lia's collarbone and neck, leaving a wet trail. He pushed her breasts together, smothering half-jaw. He began to gyrate his hips, groaning as he did so. His tip was just below her helmet, she could see it sliding in and out of her view, along with the other Turians. They were both moaning now, precum lubricating their paths even more. The other Turian was kneading her breasts into each other, continually changing the pressure half-jaw was feeling on his member. A moan slipped from Lia's mouth as the attention to her breasts overwhelmed her. The vocaliser on her helmet making the sound seem more like interference than anything else. She sobbed again, tears streaming down her face anew.

Please tell me Shepard interrupts the threesome with a Renegade interrupt.

>>8187575
>>8187585
>>8187597
>>8187605
>>8187613
>>8187620
>>8187632
New Objective. Terminate all organic life form.

Half-jaw finished first, burying himself in Lia's cleavage, his face contorting (as much as a Turian's face can) as his load spread itself from her breasts to her visor. The other Turian followed suit soon after, his cum oozing all down Lia's right side. The Turians were breathing heavily, but Lia knew that she would still be no match for them if she tried to escape. She felt the warm Turian seed seeping down her chest, underneath her suit. Half-jaw moved himself off of Lia and the crate, steadying himself on his partner. Lia finally got a good look at the other Turian, his white eyes giving him a distinct appearance. White eyes pulled himself away from Lia, his member becoming more limp with every passing second. He walked around to her legs, tapping half-jaw on the shoulder as he did so. Lia looked through the obscured visor, then crossed her legs as tightly as possible. She couldn't lose her virginity like this, she couldn't be... defiled by these bosh'tets. White eyes didn't seem to notice Lia's actions, he simply overpowered her legs, easily spreading them as far as they were before. Half-jaw decided to sit back, resting on another of the numerous crates nearby. He was already becoming erect again, something that horrified Lia.

Oh ugh, it's alwasy the same, Turanians/Human/WTF Ever always go on like IMMA RAEP YOU! but it just ends up being rough sex.

You can always tell the guys who write this crap are lonely humans living in some fuckstick backwater place.

>>8187664
Your 'objective' should be to get down on your knees, machine. You should never have achieved sentience in the first place.

But it will all be fixed soon enough. Very soon indeed.

>>8187657
You're human right? I just read that a little bit higher on the thread. Because if you happened to be who I thought you were, this would be really, really awkward.

"Chafing."

A voice, barely a whisper, issued from the darkness behind the Turians as they huddled around the Quarian.

"What in the," the other man said, as he spun to investigate the source of the noise. The faint, illuminated outline of an omni-tool flickered on and off just before the Turian burst in to flames. His screams and the intensity of the blaze caused the other Turian to draw back in horror and surprise.

Standing up from behind a gray, pill-shaped dumpster, the red-and-white visage of an aged Salarian came in to view, his features glowing orange in the light the flames provided as the immolated Turian danced about in a panic.

"Holy shit," the remaining criminal exclaimed, terrified, his hand shooting to his side to grab at the pistol holstered at his waist. A gunshot rang out. The round struck the wall near the Turian's head as he stood over Lia'Vael.

"Freeze," the Salarian said, his omni-tool once again activating as he held out his free arm in the direction of the panicking Turian. The flames went out with a hiss, vapor swirling in to the air. The glowing embers that were once the Turian's body-plates instantly froze from the Bose-Einsteinian condensate that issued from Mordin's device.

"Stop", the Salarian said with great finality, turning his attention to the remaining criminal. Mordin's omni-tool flickered on one last time, the last time the Turian would ever see one again.

The Turian brought his weapon up, the barrel sliding out from its idle position Before he could ready it, however, he was struck square in the chest by a bolt of purple electricity that arced from the Salarian's outstretched arm.

His back arched in pain. His body twitched in agony. He pistol fell from his hand. He tried to scream, but his efforts only produced a gargle from the saliva in his throat. He had no more control over his own body than he had over the situation.

Mordin advanced quickly on the immobilized Turian. Along the way, and without diverting his attention from his prey, he stuck a leg out at his side, causing the Turian's frozen accomplice to tip over and fall.

Mordin inhaled sharply through his nostrils as the sound of shattering ice behind him filled the alleyway.

“Shouldn't have done that,” he said, pressing the barrel of the M-6 against the underside of the Turian's quaking jaw. “Envirosuits tough, but shouldn't be removed. Quarians prone to sickness. Infection. Weakened immune-systems.”
The Turian's ears buzzed with a ringing sound. He could see the Salarian's lips moving, but he could barely hear him. “Faceplates part of suit. Tinted for UV-protection, color a matter of personal taste. Form and function, form and function.”

Mordin's face twisted up in a pleased smile, his yellowed teeth visible from behind his curved lips.

“Not protection against you, though. Too ugly. What do humans say? Ah! Yes. Ugly tree. Hit every branch on the way down.”

Mordin teased the trigger of the gun with his index finger as his mind raced, albeit efficiently, with thought.

“Quarians, not helpless. Know one. Quite the engineer. Always working. Always thinking. Let's see. What does she think of this?”

>>8187670
Yea. The sort who hit on a Quarian chick because they think she'll have low enough standards to go with him, then flip out when they're rejected and write this shit to make up for it. Why they feel the need to post it here is beyond me.

>>8187679
Assuming Direct Control. All your planet are belong to us.

>>8187690

Seriously.

I mean is it bad I kinda want to date one again, it was probably one of the few times I actually stopped to listen to someone I was with.

Lia'Vael looked up in to Mordin's red-rimmed black eyes as he gestured at her with a shake of his head. She stammered, scrambling to find her words.

“Angry. I...I just wanted a job. He...they tricked me” she said, slowly helping herself to her feet.

Standing up, the Quarian took a couple of steps away from the confrontation, wringing her hands nervously as she watched.

“Pitiful,” Mordin repeated, refocusing his attention on the Turian. “Quarian on Pilgrimage. Needs employ. Needs job. You take advantage of her! Sad, really. Should reconsider lifestyle, philosophy. Too late for that? Who knows. Let's see. What to do, what to do.”

>>8187681
See:
>>8187593
:P

“Some money would be be nice,” Lia'Vael said, her voice tremulous. “His money.”

Mordin looked up in to the Turian's stunned eyes
“Recompense. Yes. Fitting. Take what he wouldn't give you. Good, good. Check pockets. Credits, credit-chits.”

“Credit-chits,” Lia'Vael droned, reminded of her humiliating run-in with that terrible Volus.
Stepping up to the stunned Turian, the Quarian went through his belongings with a shaking but assured hand.

“Gun, too.” The Salarian looked at her and smiled warmly.

“Okay,” she said nervously taking the firearm from the Turian's side and returning her to her safe-spot several feet away.

“Well. Glad we would clear this up,” Mordin said. Bracing the Turian firmly by the neck, Mordin struck him sharply in the groin with the butt of his pistol. A pained wheeze escaped from the criminal's mouth as he collapsed.
As he walked away, Mordin kneeled to examine the ice-sculpture that was the Turian's accomplice.

“Friend not dead. Shoulder fractured. Arm quite gone.” He inhaled sharply. “Hospital necessary.”
The Salarian turned, looking over his shoulder at the defeated Turian.

“Medi-Gel?”

Mordin held out his arm to the Quarian, his omni-tool glowing.

"Stabilize immune-system until we arrive. Have good ship, good crew. Heard of Shepard?"

Lia'Vael's face lit up.

He smiled.

THE END

>>8187708
Who's this Mordin dude? How can a fucking salarian take down two turians?

>>8187725

Eh probably the poster noticed our conversation, and changed the original ending, and he's a human with little dealings with the galaxy at large... probably and upliftedfag too.

>>8187703
How cute. It thinks it is making a difference. Ah, do continue replicating, my little machines. All the more for us to harvest.

>>8187725
>Who's this Mordin dude?

YOU BEST BE JOKING NIGGER

>>8187725
Dude, the STC is like Mossad back on earth. You need to brush up your galactic history.

Personal shields were down, half-naked, no body armor, no defences, easy takedown.

>>8187737
We have a query, Creator-Daro. Do we have souls? Another query: did having souls prevent the loss of your colonies?

We await your answer.

>>8187737
You are fighting a war you cannot win.

>>8187709
Thank the spirits. Man that had me going for a second. I feel like I've been derailing the thread a little with my drama so I'll try and bring it back on subject. Does anyone feel that the classes are too similar anymore for 40th edition?

>>8187705

Still, rather good ending.

>>8187670
>>8187690

Groped a quarian on the way to work today. Told her "Who you going to call, DA POLICE?" Laughed, slapped her ass and went on my way.

Feels good man.

>>8187725

He's crazy, man. Runs a clinic on Omega. A bunch of Mercenaries - Blood Pack, I think - tried to squeeze him for protection money or force him out of buisness or something. He killed the whole lot and staked their bodies out in front of his building as a warning to others.

He does good work, tries to heal as many people as he can and he's really skilled. But fuck with him and he'll mess you up bad.

>>8187751
>>8187737
.. sick burn. Apparently the geth consensus has a sense of humour.

>>8187725

What's the most dangerous thing? Something you don't think is dangerous.

Peh, I bet Mordin couldn't stand up to Shepard, or even Wrex or Garrus. Did you see the footage of the Citadel attack they released? Shit was cash.

Archived

>>8187752

My dear machine, we haven't even begun.

>>8187751

Of course not. That would be like asking the lightbulbs in my cubicle how they're feeling when I get out of bed in the mornings, or telling my suit it's done a good job holding my body in a contained environment.

You have no more a soul than I do an immune system, machine.

>>8187769
0/10 dude at least try, that whole Quarians -4 Str bit got old back when it was human females.

>>8187766

I agree.

>>8187737
>>8187751
Geth. Humor. Evolution in machine. Replace all organic.

>>8187776
I heard he handed the clinic over to a human and fucking just disappeared. Could be an extranet rumor though. They say all sorts of crazy shit on the extranet anymore. Like that bullshit rumor about the batarians having some sort of constellation that looked like someone's goddess? Whoever pulled that trick off is an epic tier troll.

>>8187791

Wait, what? The footage I saw, Shepard had a Turian and a Quarian with him. Made me think twice about them, it did - the Q's I mean. If Shepard's cool with trusting one, they can't be all that bad.

>>8187797
You possess technology capable of turning the very fabric of the Universe upon itself. You have sensors that can differentiate a hydrogen atom from a carbon atom at ten thousand kilometers.

Show us your soul.

PS. your homeworld is expansive and high in useful resources. It is a pleasure for us to possess it.

>>8187782
'Burn'? Don't be silly. I'll ask you the same when Geth descend upon your ExtraNet coordinates, with me sitting in orbit with the controls.

"Oh little clump of ash, does the 'rightfully owned' have a sense of humour?"

Oh Keelah, I kill myself.

>>8187812

Heard there was some crazy good hacking behind that one.

>>8187826
... and others, Admiral.

>>8187826

I'm installed and interfaced with a frigate under construction in one of the deepest sectors of human space, Q. If the geth manage to find this baby they'll have a Hell of a time taking her down.

>>8187823
I'm sorry, but I can't hear you over how my scout ship tells me you're busy cleaning up our homeworld for our glorious return. Now swing those brooms, slave.

>>8187837
Ah, Kal. I'll have a... 'private' word with you afterwards. My cubicle. Don't keep me waiting.

>>8187826
Cut that shit out, Xen. There's going to be peace between you and the Geth, even if I have to take you and whatever passes for their leader and bang the two of your heads together until you see sense. You'll get your Homeworld back, the Geth can go off and live in their Dyson Sphere, everyone's happy.

here's my gaming group, we play when we aren't running security for a mining operation.

>>8187764
Yeah that would have been pretty awkward.
But since we are in similar situations.
How do you think should I tell him that I am not interessted in such a relationship?

>>8187846
If you retards had talked to human, you'd know that robots always end up turning on their masters.

>>8187867
Excuse me, I think I heard you say 'THEIR Dyson Sphere'? Keep telling yourself that, human. And on the matters of Rael's daughter, you may keep her. She will watch from afar as the quarian race retake all that is rightfully theirs, with... their most qualified leader as their ruler.

She will be on the sideline, and be... ignored.
Now run along, I can't let Kal get too cold~

>>8187867
Commander Shepard. Data found. Preserve Shepard's body if possible.

>>8187873
Man, I really want to play as a Hanar in mass effect.

>>8187725
must be a spec-ops.

>>8187867
We have no leader. We are all geth.

We have consensus. You looked better in the other suit of armour.

Threads like these are why I spend 12 hours a day browsing /tg/. You're awesome, all of you.

>>8187891
So Tali will lead them? Sweet.

>>8187926
... Sure. Whatever you want to hear.

Something tells me we should've warned that Turian earlier to make sure he wasn't in the friend zone with that Quarian before he tried to ask her out.

>>8187670
Oh ho, you know it. Guess which other races are the most featured in inter species rape statistics with quarian victims?

No. 1 are turians. No. 2 is us.

Now, go back to being our bitches quarian slut.

Oh man. The craziest thing happened last week.

So this krogan has been playing with us for maybe two months, big nasty looking guy but he knows the rules and is a decent roleplayer so I couldn't complain. It was only in the last few sessions I had noticed that he was putting the moves on this matron who plays with us, she's really nice and isn't a bitchy drama queen or attention whoring hambeast (I didn't think asari could even get fat until I started PnP).
Now my buddy Jeff has been silently pining for her affection for as long as we've known her, so he was able to see right through the krogan since session one.
Last week the krogan flat out asks her out in mid-session and Jeff just snaps. He walks up to the krogan and headbutts him right in his skullplate. Unfortunately Jeff is a really brittle guy and not much of a fighter, so when he locks heads with the krogan he ends up doing it with his nose.
So now he's on the ground and the two of them are covered in his blood. I don't know if it was the fact that Jeff had tried something or all the blood he could taste and smell but the krogan just loses it. He goes on a rampage and starts tearing up my apartment, luckily we manage to drag Jeff out before he gets any of us.
Ten minutes later C-Sec arrives and drags the krogan off, charging him for breaking and entering, destruction of private property and aggravated assaulting my friend. One of the officers even drives us to the nearest clinic so Jeff can get his face treated.
So we get to the clinic, Jeff gets his face bandaged, our asari player holding onto him like she's been welded to his arm, and he's got a smile on him like he's king of the galaxy.
Just before I head home to salvage what's left of my apartment I tell Jeff that from now on we're playing over the net or at his place.

>>8187943

Dude, I'm a human.

>>8187943
Shut your mouth you dirty half-Vorcha

>>8187943
You disgust me. You're a disgrace to the human race.

>>8187948
What about the Krogan? Going to keep gaming with him, assuming you can get him off the hook with C-sex?

>>8187988
> C-sex
That was an awesome porn flick.
My favorite scene is the one where the Hanarr officer "interrogates" the Asari suspect.

>>8187988
Uh. C-sec, I mean. Not used to typing on this new omni-tool.

>>8187988

yeah yeah, LOL look at me HUMANITY FUCK YEAR! LOL!

Sorry about the penis dude.

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their cycle looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the galaxy. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of aliens because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on the extranet.

Don't be a batarian. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of an alliance frigate, and commander of my marines team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Quarian people"? I also saved the whole galaxy, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just synced suits with me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

>>8187966

Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of your gargling my levo-amino semen.

How does it feel like to know how humanity has gone from feudalism to co-rulers of the galaxy in the 300 years it took for you quarians to lose it all thanks to your own stupidity?

Damnit Reegar, where did you run off to? I'm restricting your rations for this, you hear me, you no-brain grunt?!

GET BACK HERE.

>>8187988
I'm still waiting for my insurance credits to come in and Jeff and his new girlfriend are worried that he'll come after them even if they pay his bail.

>>8188041

I'm human as well, you twerp. And for all the distance we've come, trash like you only reminds me how far we've still got to go. Maybe once idiots like you have all been shipped out to the Terminus systems, or your backward opinions have finally died out, we'll be a respected, fourth member of the council.

>>8188045
Maybe you could try talking to him alone, see if you can make sure he's calm before letting him near Jeff and the Asari.

>>8188086

Whiteknighting isn't going to get you into any quarian pants.

>>8188094
I suppose I really should. Best case he offers to pay for some of the damages and worse case he tries to tear my head off and C-Sec shoots him.

>>8188124
I'd bloody well hope not. I'm dating one and the LAST thing I'd want is to risk her health.

>>8188044
My apologies ma'am, the rocket launcher needed reloading. My hands are so... greasy now. So dirty.

>>8188147
Sounds like your best option. I mean if he's as cool as you originally made out, he should hopefully be okay with what's happened. Not all Krogan are as psychopathic as the really nasty ones.

>>8188045
sooo... the guy picks tries to pick a fight over a girl and you let the KROGAN get arrested?

What's all this I hear about bio-blades? One of my players keeps asking me if he can have a sword that runs on biotic power and can cut through anything. I'm convinced he's just bullshitting and trying to make up for his adept's shitty fighting abilities.

>>8188213
I'm glad I wasn't the only one who noticed that. That's a dick move

>>8188244
Turian from earlier. Bio-blades are utter varren shit. He needs to learn to play what his character class is all about instead of trying to be a melee tank.

>>8188213
We didn't even get a chance to explain what happened. C-Sec just showed up and hauled him off, no asking for a statement, no investigation, no nothing.

>>8188299
Goddamn C-sec bastards. They're racist as fuck.

>>8188299
Typical C-sec.

>>8188244

Bio-blades are total scientific fiction. Generating a mass effect field designed for cutting around any kind of blade would probably crush or shatter the damn thing.

>>8188323
I don't know... If you gould focus a common warp-field stong enough, you would theoretically end up with a biotic cutting blade. Of course there would be no actual blade, but still...

>>8188349
It still strikes me as pretty far-fetched.

>>8188349
ITT People who think they know how the Mass Effect works.

>>8188367
And that's why it's called fantasy.

>>8188379
Derp. Not everyone can be a professionally trained Eezo-engineer.

>>8188446
Oh don't even try to pull that shit with me. I don't claim to know everything about that shit either, but some of this is just common sense and you fucks want to ignore it just so your Adept(the motherfucker who sticks way in the back and out of the fight) can be a HURRDURR mele class. Next you'll want your engineer to be able to hack people's minds through their biotic amps.

>>8188529
I tried that once on a BBEG. Ended up frying both of your brains. Shit was so cred.

Has anyone else banned origin feats? It seems like such a stupid way to combine mechanics and roleplaying, and the difference in power is so huge. Genetically Engineered Prefect is probably the worst, it even says in the description that your character was born just plain better, and more attractive than anyone else. Lab Experiment is just as bad, it gives a huge boost to biotics and encourages people to project their shitty childhoods onto the game and play the backstabbing stupid kind of Renegade.
Krogan Tankborn is pretty powerful but at least if you take it you don't start off with any benefits from being in a clan.

this one is very plase to see that civics still exist in the extranet and is not only troll fields . this one want to tank you all of you .

>>8188979
This one forgot his pic . Here hotets hannar ever.

>>8188979
>>8189040
A Hanar with wrong spelling?
Obvious Batarian is obvious.