>>8406328
>>Brother Sharp.

You mean Blothel Shalp, right?

Also, how the hell does a Chinese hobo get such an awesome moniker?

>>8408569
Look at the guy.

He deserves it. Fucker's probably a ninja.

And he's still homeless? Must be homelessness by choice, which makes him a badass motherfucker.

Right up there with Techno Viking and Professor Badass.

>>8408622
Lin Kuei, roundeye.

>>8406328
He's not that hard off if he can still afford to smoke.

Unless he's actually BREATHING FIRE.

>>8408633
Or he's mentally ill. Nothing badass about schizophrenia.

inb4UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ

>>8408647
I demand someone shoop the three into the same image. Possibly with Doesn't Give a Fuck translator.

And that will be your next party.

>>8408652
cigarettes are much cheaper in China. And most places that aren't the US, and everywhere that isn't fucking canada.

>>8408652
What are you talking about? He obviously stole smokes and a lighter from someone with his ninja magic

>>8408663
Brother Sharp; once a member of an order of secretive monks, his schizophrenia laid him low and led to his shunning. Now he wanders the urban diaspora taking what he wants and, in increasingly brief moments of lucidity, trying to right the wrongs of a China riddled with corruption and base evil.

>>8408647
Could we just call him Professor? Seriously?

Professor Badass sounds shit.

>>8408647

Techno Viking is a the muscle.

Professor Badass is the brains.

Brother Sharp is the charisma.

Multi-ethnic awesome squad assemble!

>>8408702
CHARACTER CONCEPT!

LET US ASSEMBLE THE BRO-FORCE, /TG/

PROFESSOR BADASS REPORTING IN.

>>8408713
Fuck yes this. Make it happen, /tg/.

>>8408713
Team needs a fourth, female member. Any ideas?

AND MY AXE

Or better yet just "Professor B".

>>8408759

Futureman.

this would be a good WoD group.

Like Father, Like Son.

Vietnam Tom should be in also

>>8408759
Dorf Lass?

>>8408633

In the world of high fashion, you must sacrifice everything to gain everything. Only through abandoning his worldly goods, his moderately successful couture clothing line, and his love for a young maiden could Wu Hao become Brother Sharp, Beggar King of Fashion.

>>8408759
No, but we could always take professor badass's understudy from that tide commercial whose cocky and puts the team at risk.

>>8408793
Futureman is not female.

Brother Sharp may look good, but he still probably smells like an unwashed vagrant.

>>8408815

>>8408841
Don't know how it is in China, but you can bathe for free here in the US, just go to a truck stop and use their soap.

>>8408816
>Dorf lass
I see no beard.

Brother Sharp is what Jules Winnfield would look like after he quit "the life" if he was Chinese

>>8408793
Too male.
>>8408816
Too naked.

I submit this girl as their sharpshooter and tech specialist.

>>8408841

Gods, I want to clean out his smegma~

>>8408868
Its under the hood, if you know what I mean.

>>8408868
Of course not. It's under her loincloth.

>>8408759

Anyone have that picture of the little girl smoking a cigarette?

>>8408713
>Techno Viking is a the muscle.
>Professor Badass is the brains.
>Brother Sharp is the charisma.

Together, they form a giant robot.

>>8408759
>>Team needs a fourth, female member.

Yes. Just as the first three were revealed, the prophesied fourth will appear in time. Until then, we must be patient.

>>8408877
But she dressed up specifically for that, whereas Professor Manly and Brother Sharp are like that all the time.

>>8408841

It's Shanghai. Half the city smells like a rotting fish carcass. "Unwashed Vagrant" was a test fragrance Calvin Klein tried there a few years back.

All we need now are punk girl twins and the group will be complete...

>>8408892
brother sharp is now Ryoma

Brother Rose up in this thread.

This is their female member.

Accept no substitutes.

>>8408892
But who'd be the Musashi? I don't want any of them to die.

>>8408863
Amerifag here. The ones with the presence of mind to bathe themselves regularly generally aren't the ones that stay homeless for extended periods of time.

Female teammate?
I submit this girl as their sharpshooter and tech specialist.

>>8408903
She still looks badass. More stuff needs a girl with a gas mask and a gun as a lead character.

Female teammate?
I submit this girl as their sharpshooter and tech specialist.

>>8408937
You don't know any homeless people, do you? You can stay homeless and hygienic for as long as you care to.

>>8408938
DO WANT.

IN MY BED, NAO.

>>8408956
You're missing the point. Those guys aren't dressed up. They exude that natural awesomeness without any effort at all. That's what we need in a female member.

>>8409000
A girl who poses with a shotgun, a bowler hat, and a respirator is naturally awesome.

>>8408969
There's always that clawing feeling that's not a girl.

>>8408938
Holy goddamn shitfuck I want to fuck her till she doesn't know what "blue" means.

>>8409014
No she's not. She's dressing up.

And /tg/ decided that women are not badass unless they try, and decided vietnam tom was their fourth.

Seconding smoking gypsy child as fourth member.

1.5 secs on Google. I nominate this woman.

The female member...

1) In accordance with the white, black, and asian pattern, the final member must be middle eastern, latino, or something like that.

2) Must dress stylishly, but not gimmicky. They have to look awesome without actually wearing a costume, which would imply that they're *TRYING* to be awesome, which defeats the whole point of the other members.

3) Should fill the thief/assassin/sneak role. Professor badass, being a professor and all, should have all the science and tech stuff covered.

Female teammate?
I submit this girl as their sharpshooter and tech specialist.

>>8409031
This is a woman worthy of the group

>>8409036
But Professor Badass doesn't have a gun. And just because you know Science doesn't mean you know Engines.

>>8409036
elegan/tg/entlemen, it may simply be that we must wait for the fourth to appear.
or else it will end up forced and faggish.

Professor Badass, Techno Viking, Brother Sharp, and rounding out the team . . .

Amber Lamps

>>8409028
Thirding

>>8409055
>black man
>doesn't own a gun

LOL

>>8408969
Maid working with computer hardware ...
>nerdgasm

>>8409015
I dont see how this could be problem.

>>8409058
1.5 sec search for the bird girl that fits the racial trope is not forced or faggish.

it's google-fu it is finest

C'mon, we all know the picture of like the 14 year old girl in rural india with the cigarette and the automatic love smile. Make this happen.

>>8409058
Indeed. You cannot rush prophecy. The fourth member will be revealed when the time is ready for them to do their work.

I once played a malkavian that looked like that. Except the asian part.

>>8409000
This is what needs to be kept in mind. It's on the same level as to why forced memes suck; shit's forced.

>>8409081
>>1.5 sec search for the bird girl that fits the racial trope is not forced or faggish.

It is forced and faggish because you can't just post an image of any person (no matter how cool they may be) and go, "Hey can this person join the ranks of Professor Badass and Techno Viking?"

They have to build up some status first. They have to have staying power.

Female teammate?
I submit this girl as their sharpshooter and tech specialist

Am I the only one thinking Scion game? And that shit makes it to them being gods.

>>8409113
Forced? This whole exercise of forming a team of awesome people is forced. What needs to be kept in mind is that this thread is goddamn retarded.

The female member was with us the entire time. She was the founding member. You just didn't realize it yet.

>>8409126
>implying one thread related to Brother Sharp has garnered him all the needed cred

AHAHA This is the team you have assembled to stop me Professor?

A homeless bum and a neanderthal?

The world will surely fall to the might of BOSS NEGRO!

>>8409132

Sweet Vishnu, I'd hit that until it went blind.

Every team must defeat a great evil ...witch is ??

>>8409184
omg, dude,,,

>>8409197
You did see that picture right? He DOES deserve it. Man looks like he's ready to kick some ass. 24/7.

You assholes, you know smoking gypsy girl is the only possible option for the fourth member of this confederacy of badass.

One of you has her picture, goddammit, I know you do.

>>8409083
second

>>8408693
Or Australia, or the UK. Smokes here at 15-30 dollars per packet. IO had an indian man, recently emmigrated, refer to them as "very poor quality, very poor, very expensive". Back in india, an australian dollar bought a pack of 20 that were TOP NOTCH, EXCELLENT QUALITY.

>>8408713
Techno Viking is a the brains.
Professor Badass is the charisma.
Brother Sharp is the muscle.

Multi-ethnic awesome squad assemble!

>>8409285

4TH MEMBER ACQUIRED

EVIL MAY BE FOUGHT NOW

>>8409285
>>8409285

don't know about that..... maybe acting as a light spoof in dark places ???

>>8409132
No posing models
No professional shots
Final destination

>>8409083
FACT

>>8409241
I have to rescind my implication because of this undeniable fact. He does INDEED look as though eh is prepared to fight 28 ninjas and a T-84 before he finishes crossing the street.

However, we cannot soil his awesome by forcing him into memehood.

No sirs. We must wait.

>>8409276
The rest of us aren't pedos k thnx

>>8409285
The holy grail must be found now !

homeless woman with parrot could help in some way as a advisor to our heroes.

I like the smoking Gypsy girl as the fourth member.

Simply put, a woman can't be part of this team because women don't look cool.

God dammit, I could never look that awesome. And he does it while homeless.

Clearly, I am not the stuff of legends. This man... this man is.

>>8409330
You're supposed to watch her infiltrate things and blow shit up. You aren't supposed to jerk off to her.

>>8409330
>us
>implying you speak for anyone but yourself

>>8409330
She looks like she just walked through a warzone and grabbed a dead mans cigarette for a smoke. Without even caring, or getting scratched. How? Dodge charms.

She's an exalt.

We are forgetting something vital for the party...a small child, pet, or robot to aid them.

>>8409376
All great things are ruined by the presence of children.

Terminator 2.
Six String Samurai.
Last Action Hero.

Don't ruin this.

>>8409388
The gypsy girl covers that quite nicely.

>>8409285
>>8408780
>>8408746
>>8406328

So this is the /tg/ bros ?

>>8408746
You dare challenge me, Professor Badass?

>>8408816
JESUS CHRIST I MUST HAVE A NAME OR SOURCE.

>>8409197
>>>implying one thread related to Brother Sharp has garnered him all the needed cred


"China, SHANGHAI: A homeless man who spends his days and nights wandering the streets of Ningbo, Zhejiang province, has almost gained star status, thanks to his "good looks and sharp dress sense. A growing number of Internet users are tracking the whereabouts of the still unidentified man, whose "fans" have nicknamed him Brother Sharp."

That's way more cred than random image of some chick on /tg/ has.

>>8409329
Understandable. This is only the beginning of his tale.
Wandering holy man. Of what religion? His own.
My prayers go to thee Brother Sharp.

>>8408890
>>8408890
>>8408890
>>8408890

>>8409392

Children who are small, weak, innocent, and in need of protection.

Tobacco Girl has killed men just to watch them die.

>>8409406
looks like

my eyes just exploded due AWESONESS....now i will sleep

They don't need a fourth member. Seriously, anything the 3 of them can't beat in a fight, they're going to be brofisting and getting drinks with.

We dont need a girl

Someone has that template with the colored squares and the character classes under them?

GET TO WORK

Anyone have that Warrior/Mage/Thief/Cleric template from a few days ago?

>>8409466
>>8409468
Fags

>>8409500
No anonymous you are the faggot.

And then anonymous was a faggot.

Techno Viking: LG

Professor Badass: NG

Brother Sharp: CN

Tobacco Urchin: NE

Y/N?

http://english.people.com.cn/90001/90782/90872/6907982.html

First thing i saw "shouted to the heavens"
>shouted to the heavens

FUCKING LOVE THIS MAN

>>8409513
Doing it wrong, fag.

>>8406328
This is about as awesome as Piledriving a Shark.

>>8409523
So Brother Sharp is the Cleric, Professor Badass is the Mage, Techno Viking is the Warrior and Smoker Girl is the Thief?
imokaywiththis

>>8409354
NO.

Awesome things will be ruined by your impatience. Sit down.

>>8409526
CEASE THIS AT ONCE! This is a place of enlightenment, not of needless strife.

This is my original random-awesome-person picture that I got from here.

>>8409520
N.

Scratch the last one.

>>8409466
I'm okay with this.

>>8409572
>fag fag faggity fag fag hurf durf cocks in ma mouf mmm
FTFY.

I now go to my place of rest.
Rock on my fellows.
Brother Sharp, Holy wanderer.
Tencho Viking, Barbarian of the Information Age.
Professor Badass, Font of Knowledge and Asswhupping.

Clearly this is the fourth member, their wizard.

>>8409560
I'd hit it with the fury of a thousand suns

Did anyone save the template for this?

>>8409466
This is true. I suggest, at most, a rotating 4th member that is optional at all times. Kind of like a series of reserve members only called upon for special missions. But these 3... they are the core of the team.

>>8409625
>>durr hurr lolis

Shut your whore mouth, pedo.

>>8409653

>Tianya calls him “犀利哥”, xīlì gē, “Brother Sharp” or “Sharp Brother”.

>It can also translate to “Brother Penetrating” or “Penetrating Brother”

Implying implications...

>>8409675

>>8409703
SUGOI MONOGATARI, ANIKI

>>8409703
We did pick him for the charisma whore, after all.

Guys.

Guys.

I found the fourth member.

They are...

THE /tg/-TEAM.

>>8409703

ANIKI!!!

>>8409651

>>8408802
Holy fuck it's Eisenhorn disguised as a homeless Chinese man. We are all fucked.

>>8409675
Dude...
>4chan

>>8409736
Trusty animal companion!

>>8409653
You make a lot of sense. But, in true Mission Impossible (the good TV series) fashion, some of those guest-members may also be quasi-regulars if they can keep up with the awesome.

This is their arch enemy.

>>8408780

BROTHER

>>8409675

You seem to be missing the point. Tobacco Urchin would rip your dick off if you got it anywhere near her, and she'd laugh while doing it. She is the counterpoint to Techno Viking and Professor Badass's unswavering goodness. And Brother Sharp shares his smokes with her.

>>8409814
Which I certainly think will add to the awesome.

Only one man /tg/ knows is MAN enough to be a member of this team. And not as a "fourth guy" but as an obvious equal.

Jack Churchill.

The only motherfucker with the balls to kill Nazis in WW2 with a longbow and a claymore.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill

>>8409815
The face of the guy in the background makes me lol.

A-Team had four members, this team needs four members.

So it is written.

Don't try to re-write universal laws of team formation, people.

>>8409883
But the chosen 4th has not yet appeared.

>>8409883
They're making a remake of the A-Team. I don't know if I should be excited.

>>8409832
Tobacco Urchin does not beat the swiveling 4th member idea, nor the Jack Churchill idea I just saw. She's just a photo model.

Anyone on this team must have earned their cred as a real individual worth of the term "badass."

>>8409815

Commander Vanderhuge!

>>8408793

Futureman!

>>8408925

Brother Rose!

>>8409223

Boss Negro!

Together, they are ANTIBROS! Thwarting our heroes at every turn!

>>8409906
>>worth

Worthy. My bad.

>>8409860

I think the point is, we know who Churchill is. These guys are unnamed scions of badass.

Love to roll with you guys but I got a kid to worry about

>>8409911
FUND IT

>>8409860
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/churchill.html

>>8409860
>>Jack Churchill
>>eh, I'll check it out
>>wiki
>>see full name
>>Lieutenant Colonel John Malcolm Thorpe Fleming "Jack" Churchill
>>FUCK YEAR

>>8409911
>Commander Vanderhuge

I lol'd.

>>8409927
Mad Jack poster here, I can agree with that even if Churchill would be a better choice than the obvious photo models some people are pushing.

>>8409911
>>8408925

Sidekick for brother rose

>>8409972

Brother Rose n' Buttercup

>>8409929
It's cool, we didn't come here for YOU to roll with us.

Your kid is our new 4th member, bro.

This picture is of the team's current adviser.

Sihk Dorf shall round out the party.

>>8409860

Richboys going around chasing Medals again?What else is new.

>>8409648
Massimo D'alema can be Zordon.

>>8409929

This is their hook-up man / fence.

>>8409906

Define "photo model". It's not like they found some girl specifically to dress up raggedy and smoke cigarettes for them. It looks to me like she was already there, doin' her thing, and agreed to be photographed for whatever sort of funky documentary this picture likely came from.

http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2010/03/a_homeless_man_in_china.html

Has a bunch of links to other articles about him.

Also /fa/ has known about Brother Sharp for a while. He can join the team

>>8409998
Pic related, it's clearly superior in that regard. No mere actors are any part of this team.

Strictly the amazing unknown.

How about her?

>>8409995

Truly he is My Son

>>8409987

The Dandy Lion

>>8409911

Futureman is not evil, and cares not for his teammates or their goals. He only cares about the funk, and for the moment they are best able to provide. God help them if Professor B can dance.

I'm surprised no one caught the comparison here...

>>8410025
Bro, I'm a photographer. I went to college for it (big mistake money-wise), been doing it for 9 years since.

I can spot a model a mile away and THAT is a model.

>>8410039
How about no?
How about why would you even pick her?

JOIN US

>>8410120

Is this win, /tg/?

Unknown, unnamed badasses who are legit?

Hmmm... pic related?

If you haven't had threads started about what a fucking badass you are, you don't deserve to be on this team.

Most of the people you guys have posted make mediocre reaction images at best, and certainly do not deserve to roll with the A-Team.

We must wait for the chosen one to appear before these badasses unite and lead us into the apocalypse.

>>8410131
HAVE SOME MORE

Greek Protestor

>>8410155

You need to draw Professor Badass, Brother Sharp, and Techno Viking fighting Nikola Tesla and his robotic minions in a laboratory.

WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT IMAGE OF THE CAR PLOWING INTO THE BIKERS WHEN I NEED IT?

>>8410183
>You need to draw Professor Badass, Brother Sharp, and Techno Viking fighting Boss Negro, Commander Vanderhuge, Brother Rose and Futureman

FTFY

>>8410192

>>8410160

I don't believe there needs to be a 4th, for they are the triforce

Courage -> Brother Sharp
Wisdom -> Professor Badass
Power -> Techno Viking

>>8410214
>You need to draw Professor Badass, Brother Sharp, and Techno Viking fighting Boss Negro, Commander Vanderhuge, Brother Rose and Futureman
>While Tesla and Rasputin discuss shit civilly from the shadows like Professor X and Magneto

>>8410220
Without the retarded "derp fail" macro.

NO WAIT

I know one of you have seen it. It's a photographer at a rally race. He's standing right by the barrier and one of the cars fucking plows right into the barrier right next to him, and the guy just sorta leans back as the car passes inches by his fucking face.

AND THEN HE STEPS BACK OUT TO TAKE A FUCKING PICTURE AFTER THE CAR PASSES. HE JUST DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK.

>>8410226
Well, damn. This works.

Getaway driver?

>>8410241
Don't have it without, sorry. That's the only incarnation of it that I own.

>>8410242

I seen that fucker. did it like he's been in that position 100 times.

>>8410242

Read the filename.

Does it have to be a girl?

>>8410285
That guy is a motherfucker. And a good man. I found the whole video. After he gets his picture he runs to help him. You can see him on the other side of the car after the cameraman moves.

http://www.guzer.com/videos/photographer-close-call-rally-crash.php

>>8410287

Ah, I found some.

YOU DON'T PAY THE METER, I BREAK YOUR FENDER.

>>8410343
Oh god what

I think the consensus is we must await the fourth member. He will reveal himself as the others before him

Russians: telling bears 'shoo' and actually making them go away since forever.

I'd love to join you guys but I'm too busy fucking bitches to join you.

Alright, I'm liking the rotating fourth member idea more and more.

Professor B, Techno Viking, and Brother Sharp travel the globe and fight ANTIBRO, frequently aided by others who have elected to go it solo normally, such as Cycle Shiek, Tobacco Urchin, and the mysterious Photgrapher with the Iron Balls.

And the last one from me.

Kind of weeaboo, but he has style.

>>8410384
This.

Also the Zookeeper as a rotating member too
>>8409814

ENEMIES, WE MUST HAVE ENEMIES

>>8410468
Faggot, if you force it it sucks. We already have enemies anyway, the nefarious ANTIBRO

>>8408925
>>8409223
>>8408793
>>8409815

Guys: Putin.

Or is he just the justasplanned BBEG?

You guys. There's plenty of people like this in real life, in your town even. You just need to figure out how to stop hanging out with nothing but nerds and access the lifeblood of your city. Hanging out with drifters is pretty fucking cash.

>>8409815
Oh man zergface.

>>8410068
Resemblance yes, but Stephen Chow's has a more boyish face, and is a "comedy" actor.

Brother Sharp looks like he'd gank you in an instant if you so much as looked at him the wrong way.

Then he'd take your cigarettes.

>>8410508
Premier Putin is the guy that assemble the team and plan everything.

>>8410508
No he's famous, destroying the point of everything goddamn aspies in here trying to force the awesome.

Let it flow.

PIC RELATED. On vacation Professor B wears his street clothes

SOMEONE PHOTOSHOP THEM TOGETHER ALREADY!

Also, archive this thread in case a drawfag request thread opens up!

>>8408969

Moar please

>>8410517

We'll have none of your "sense" here. This thread is about the adventures of the handsomest man in China and friends.

>>8410550

Plot point; Professor B and Futureman are long-lost brothers.

>>8410588
GLORIOUS

WHO'S THE ANTI-BRO?

>>8410550
Not as a team member, for sure, but some sort of background character. Like the announcer from TF2.

>>8410611
I begrudgingly meh the idea.

Dumping more rotating 4th members

>>8410607
See
>>8410495

Also Shark Juggler

>>8410588

The Prof and Techno Viking have a special bond of their own stemming from a shared appreciation of the groove, that Brother Sharp is not a part of.

Until the fateful day when Futureman has Professor and Viking funked into submission, and is about to blow their minds with one final display of sheer funkatude, when Sharp bursts from the shodws to reveal that he has been a masterful breakdancer this whole time.

WRITEFAGS REPORT THE FUCK IN IMMEDIATELY YOU FUCKING FUCKS!!!!! THIS IS THE SORT OF SHIT WE PAY YOU FOR!!!!!

The truth behind:
Professor Badass
Hillbilly with the truck stuck in the tree
SCIENCE! shark dude
African with the Hyena pet
and Backflipping Hatchet Attack Spetsnaz

http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-true-stories-behind-5-famous-wtf-images

>>8410701
That's just a regular man in the russian spetsnaz

Hyene Guy's brother

>this thread

>>8410722

Nominating the Spetsnaz' secret backflip corps as ANTIBRO's default minions.

That, and the hoverchinks.

>>8410722
>regular

>>8410748
What?

>>8410748
Second'd

>>8410729
>>8409814

The Brothers Junglefuck.

You guys, if we play our cards right, ANTIBRO could turn into, like, V.I.L.E., which would allow for a huge number of badasses working against them to cycle through the fourth slot.

>>8408669
Damn it, I'm late.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYSd1r_mI80

>>8410748

As Brother Boss monitored the /tg/ Team's actions, his hate filled him with am immediate need for violence.

"Go forth my Hover Chinks! Defeat the /tg/ Team!"

>>8410837
Fucking Boss Negro I am herp derp

>>8410821
I'll just bring this cable around behind me, and then throw it with my right hand so that the cable goes around me first... yes...

>>8410818

Current list of Awesomeforce reserves;

Tobacco Urchin
Cycle Shiek
The Brothers Junglefuck
The Photographer with the Iron Balls
'Ninja' Ninja
Raptor Kaiser
Uncle Bearbasher
Sprintgreek

>>8410818

Villaine In League with Evil?

>>8410894

'Ninja' Ninja?

Boss Negro help the team when they are in trouble or almost losing.

Putin is in HQ giving instructions, and only leave when shit hit the fan, he takes his rifle, takes out his shirt and go for hunting evil


mmmm

4th member? catachan maybe

>>8410944

This guy. Also considering the Iron Horse Samurai.

>>8410387

Evil lackeys

>>8410968
>Implying Putin would need to do anything more than give the BBEG a stern glare.

>Or put on his cool face.

Fighting against the evil
looking good for the people

>>8410968
>>4th member? catachan maybe

LAAAAAME

Leave your 40k out of this, this is awesome.

My vote is for Sprintgreek or Shark Juggler.

>>8410984
Definitely Iron Horse Samurai.

>>8410999

The Antipodal Pugilists shall give you all a right good thrashing! Especially the Heathen Chinee, no matter what shifty tricks he may pull.

Hey does anybody remember that chick with the big, sexy nose who posted pics of it in exchange for help on planning her first D&D campaign? 'Cuz she could be the female member of this team.

>>8411031

What about the Guardsman that stood up to Horus by himself without flinching in the slighest?

>>8410367
I don't get it. Why did you post a picture of two bears?

>>8411139
NO 40K GODDAMNIT

>>8411145
One's a brown, the other's a grizzly.

The floor is now bears.

Despite the situation, it was all but impossible for Professor Badass to keep the smile off of his face. Cycle Sheik and the Iron Horse Ninja had gone shooting ahead of the rest of them and, true to fashion, had done more damage to one another than to the forces of ANTIBRO. Their motorcycles were barely holding together as they sat at the gate, waiting for the remainder of BROFORCE. Brother Sharp was the first to join them, stepping out of a shadow with a look of genuine disinterest on his face as he lit another cigarette. Professor Badass and Technoviking arrived soon after, already discussing what lay ahead. Brother Rose had been launching attacks from this fortress for nigh on a week, and he would pay for his crimes.

Watermelon Lady can be wizard?

>>8411186
IT BEGINS

>>8411139
What about a real person?

Because if we're using a guy in 40k who didn't flinch, let me tell you about my level 3 paladin who got face to face with Orcus without flinching...

I agree with a team of three. If there's a fourth member, it should just be a temporary thing. Brother Sharp, Professor Badass, and Techno Viking just kind of have a thing going, you know?

>>8411187


YES

>>8411322
YES YES YES and totally YES

>>8411186
((Meant to use Iron Horse Samurai, not Iron Horse Ninja))
With a final nod to their compatriots, Cycle Sheik and Iron Horse Samurai gunned the engines of their bikes and shot off in a growing cloud of dust and insults. They would be of no use to the others in the tight confines of Brother Rose's fortress.

The question on the minds of BROFORCE as they moved through the gate was a simple one: Why had Brother Rose been attacking? When they heard that ANTIBRO had been launching raids, the expectation had been either Futureman or Commander Vanderhuge. Of their enemies, they were by far the most aggressive. The interrogations done by the Brothers Junglefuck could be trusted, though. Brother Rose had some twisted agenda of his own in the matter.

Pushing through the gate, Techno Viking took point, cracking one of the many glowsticks kept in his pockets. It was more than enough for the lot of them to see, though Brother Sharp had no need of the light. He slid into the shadows, nothing of him visible but for the rosebud tip of his cigarette.

>>8411322

Rooster Ninja as cameo.

>>8410683
That man just doesn't JUGGLE SHARKS!

I say you guys just cool your shit and wait for the fourth member. I steadfastedly believe we need a female because sausagefests are done and sad. On the other hand, most of the people suggested here thus far would make epic guests/cameos.

Puzzle Box here for fourth member.

Banana man!

Human torch for fourth member

THE BROTHERS:
>>8408746 Professor B
>>8408765 Brother Sharp
>>8408780 Techno Viking

THE ANTIBROS:
>>8408925 Brother Rose
>>8409223 Boss Negro
>>8409815 Commander Vanderhuge

THE RELATIVELY IMPORTANT RECURRING CHARACTERS:
>>8408793 Futureman
>>8409285 Tobacco Urchin
>>8409736 Teacosy

>>8411419
Slowly, the trio began to realize that the building was empty. Long hallways were completely empty, and many of the workshops seemed like they had not been used in weeks. "Seems odd, doesn't it?" Brother Sharp's voice was accompanied by a slow, lazy coil of smoke from the shadows. "Even with all of the people outside, this place looks like a ghost town." Without speaking, the other two agreed. It fit Brother Rose, though. The men outside had all been trained guards, likely pulled from the forces of Commander Vanderhuge to serve as meatshields. Flamboyant and wasteful...very much the style of Brother Rose.

As they rounded yet another corner, the trio began to hear the sounds of machinery. Using the whir and churn of industry, they quickened their pace to a run and moved toward the only set of lights in the hallway. As the distance to the doors shrank, melodic laughter began to trickle to their ears.

>>8411671
"Broforce...just in time," came the silky voice of their dapper enemy, Brother Rose. "Come in, come in. I don't want you to miss this." Slowly, the three stepped into the room, their forms illuminated by a massive set of computer displays. In front of them, the distinctive silhouette of Brother Rose stood, flanked by a scurrying team of ANTIBRO scientists.

Techno Viking stepped forward, gritting his teeth as the glowstick exploded in his grip. "So what exactly do we have here?" Professor B stepped forward, laying a hand on Techno Viking's shoulder as a silent reminder to not charge headlong into a trap.

"What we have here," Brother Rose sang, spinning his cane up onto his shoulder, "Is a tool to build my own little paradise." The machinery behind the panels continued to rumble, the definite sounds of assembly rolling out of its depths. "You could call it a Dream Machine, if you wanted."

>>8411854
Brother Sharp spat out the spent nub of his cigarette, folding his arms over his chest as he did so. "Dream Machine? And what kind of sick dreams have you been having?"

As Brother Rose opened his mouth to speak again, a red light set into the ceiling began to flash. The noise of the machinery raised to an incredible level as pieces began to move and slide apart. Mechanical arms in the ceiling began to slide, bearing racks of missiles and ammunition. "The kind of 'sick dreams' where I don't have to deal with you three as constant thorns in the side of ANTIBRO." Sounds of turbines began to rise from the center of the machinery as the ceiling opened, revealing the fading red sky of the evening. "And now that I've gotten my dream, it is time to show you an all new nightmare!" With a flick of his thumb, the top of his cane opened, revealing a glimmering gem of an activation switch. As he pressed it, a massive form rose form the machinery. The gusts coming from its turbines threw the scientists around, even sliding BROFORCE back in their stances. Brother Rose, though, was already rising fast on a zipline toward the massive construct.

>>8411957
In the next instant, a dozen floodlights hit the trio at the same time, forcing Techno Viking and Brother Sharp to cover their eyes. Professor B remained unphased, though, staring upward at the unholy hulk that was rising out of the factory. In a flash of premonition, he dove into his comrades, throwing them aside and out of the way of a burst of machine gun fire.

A brief hiss preceded Brother Rose's voice as it projected through the loudspeakers of the massive craft. "Farewell, Broforce! I'm sure you'll enjoy your eternal slumber!" As they looked upward, a bay on the underside of the craft opened and a fast line lowered. Attached was a perfect orb and it was left on the ground as the ship rocketed away, throwing the Broforce back from its vectored thrust.

When the dust cleared and the trio could see again, all three were able to see red numbers flashing across the orb. They were alone with the bomb now, the ANTIBRO scientists having made their escape with the Dream Machine.

As the numbers slowly ticked down, Professor B, Techno Viking and Brother Sharp all began to laugh as they charged toward the device. A doomsday machine -and- a bomb poised to destroy them? All in a day's work.

This is some /co/ shit right here, and I am fine with that.

/co/, infused with the awesome of /tg/.

This... this is awesome.

ARCHIVE

Amazing

>>8411186
>>8411419
>>8411671
>>8411854
>>8411957
>>8412054
Just wondering if I hit the feel about right. Might do more writefagging on this story if it works.

>>8412223
Inquisitor Cale, you are a true bro.

Put it there, bro, put it there.

>>8412282
Thanks, man. More projects to come, then.

>>8412399

Yeah, keep it up - and then lets archieve it.
It's a story of 3 characters made out of sheer awesomeness, how could that NOT turn out awesome?

>>8412223
CONTINUING:

As the Dream Machine shot away through the air, one of the many ANTIBRO technicians came running up to Brother Rose. "S-sir," the man stammered, his eyes remaining on Brother Rose's cane as he spoke, "C-commander Vanderh-huge is on the radio." Brother Rose snapped the radio out of the technicians hand and shoved him away with his cane, the technician almost tripping over himself to back away.

"Vandey! What a pleasant surpr-"

"I'll have none of your idiotic pleasantries," Vanderhuge barked, his voice ringing out of the radio piece and into the command deck. "You wasted my soldiers! You squandered years of training! You had better have a damn good explanation for this!"

Once silence had again fallen, Brother Rose's quiet laughter was picked up by the receiver. "Vandey, I have something that will make you forget -all- about those soldiers. Compared to this, they were just toys." Still smiling as Vanderhuge shouted epithets and curses, Brother Rose put the receiver back on its hook, silencing the radio. All activity had ceased on the deck in the face of Vanderhuge's shouting and it immediately started again with the smiling face of Brother Rose.

>>8412606

Huh. Y'know, I think Vanderhuge's rant could have been a bit longer.

>>8412642

Err. Sorry, don't mind me. Just a part-time writefag. Carry on.

>>8412606
"Now, let's just see how the Broforce is dealing with my present." He casually pulled off his bowler and tossed it at one of the technicians, landing it masterfully on his head. "Bring up a screen of the factory." Frantically, the technician began to tap at his console. Swearing, he scrambled, trying to activate the screen. "I...I'm sorry, Brother Rose. I'm trying to get it up."

Brother Rose stepped up to him, quietly tut tutting him. "I thought that I hired better men than this." He tapped his cane against the floor beside his seat, the man's eyes snapping to it. "I know for a fact that I hire better men." The man was still pounding at the board, trying to get the screen up. The smile faded from Brother Rose's face as he stepped back. "Too slow," he snarled, bringing his cane around hard. A slim blade extended from the tip as he swung, neatly popping the technician's head off. He picked his bowler up off of the man's head and pointed his cane at the next technician. "You have ten seconds to bring that display up."

>>8412653
Oh, it was going to be longer. Had Brother Rose not cut him off, he would have gone into a Bond Villain style monologue.

>>8412676
In a miracle born of fear, the screen was brought up shortly. Just as quickly as an aerial image of the factory came up, the smile returned to Brother Rose's face. "Splendid! Everyone, come watch as Broforce meets their end!" He kicked the still bleeding corpse of the technician out of its seat and dropped into the vacated chair, watching the scene as a child watches a parade. Not wishing to draw the ire of their leader, the technicians came scrambling to watch the screen. Brother Rose flipped open the tip of his cane, watching as a small timer ran down. "Aaaand...Three, two, one..." The screen was filled with the plume of an explosion and, as the smoke cleared, nothing was left of the factory but for a charred crater and a field of debris. Laughing giddily, Brother Rose leaped to his feet. "Gentlemen, make for ANTIBRO headquarters. I need to rub this one in Vanderhuge's face." The technicians scrambled to their stations quickly, all but for the one who had successfully brought up the terminal. He was left to drag away the corpse of the other man, thanking his lucky stars that Brother Rose's aim had been to his right.

>>8412787

>Oh, it was going to be longer.

>>8412606

>Once silence had again fallen, Brother Rose's quiet laughter was picked up by the receiver.
>Once silence had again fallen,
>silence

>>8412787
-=Moments Prior=-
The laughter that the Broforce had shared quickly faded into grim focus they came nearer to the device that the Dream Machine had left behind. Professor B began to check the surface, but was unable to find any seams in the shell. Brother Sharp had no more luck. As the two of them checked over the device, Techno Viking had begun to look through the machinery. Only a quiet metallic rustle had warned Professor B and Brother Sharp of his advance. The two of them dove clear as Techno Viking charged forward, slamming a solid six feet of steel crankshaft into the shell of the device. It had no effect other than to bend the shaft sharply around the impact point. All that Techno Viking could do in his defense against the accusing stares from his comrades was to shrug, laugh and drop the shaft.

Together they stood around the device, watching as the timer dropped below one minute.

>>8412817
I suppose what I meant was at this point:
>Still smiling as Vanderhuge shouted epithets and curses, Brother Rose put the receiver back on its hook
Had Brother Rose not hung up the receiver, Vanderhuge would have gone on until he lost his voice.

>>8412890

Oh. Yeah, I meant earlier. I dunno, it just doesn't really seem like a rant, more like a complaint.

>>8412865
At this point, escape from the room seemed out of the question. The Dream Machine's escape had collapsed the hallway they had come in through and there were no exterior doors from the factory room. Just as the Broforce began to think that they had no escape, the ground beneath Brother Sharp's feet began to rumble. He leaped aside just as a massive drill punched through the metal floor. A moment later, as it was lifted aside, a familiar panting noise came from the hole along with a curl of smoke. Teacozy and Tobacco Urchin both popped their heads up, the dog's tail wagging madly while Tobacco Urchin remained as nonchalant as ever. "Are you assholes gonna come through here or are you gonna die like a bunch of bitches?" Needing no second bidding, they dove into the tunnel and ran with Teacozy leading the way. Tobacco Urchin joined them a moment later, lighting a new cigarette. When they had gone no more than a hundred yards, there was a loud thump and a rush of hot air behind them. "Just closing off the tunnel," Tobacco Urchin shouted, urging them farther down the tunnel.

The full force of the Brother Rose's explosive hit them shortly after. Even with the end of the tunnel collapsed, the shock wave shook the ground around them. Techno Viking threw himself over Tobacco Urchin, shielding her against a cave in that likely would have killed her. As he rose, she shook her head and began to pick her way toward the rest of the group. "Idiot. I didn't need your help."

>>8410729
>>8410738

This reminds me of a story my friend told me. He was a forward observer with the Marines and was stationed in Haiti when all those riots broke out years ago. Hundreds of people out in front of the American Embassy trying to bust through the gates.

They has snipers on the building and observers watching the situation below. They would watch for people causing the most trouble and trying to storm the gates and were tasked with taking them out.

My friend says he saw one guy with a baboon on a chain. The thing was pissed off and he was letting it jump on and tear the fuck out of random people and laughing at them.

He called a hit on the baboon. A single shot later and the guy was staring speechless at this dead monkey at the end of his chain. He looked around in horror and took off into the crowd.

>>8412986

TSUNDERE URCHIN IS GO

>>8412986
>>8411186
>>8411419
>>8411671
>>8411854
>>8411957
>>8412054
>>8412606
>>8412676
>>8412787
>>8412865
>>8412986
Here is the story so far. I'll probably have to continue later today. Rolling up on 2 AM and my brain is starting to lag.