Leave and never come back.

Enter the castles new backdoor

Report the thread.

shit magical brix.

Enter castle, climb tower.

>>8546647
Walk into Mordor. And stay there.

Go questing, never come back...

Tis a silly place...

1. Collect the drippings
2. Sell them as magic potion
3. Profit

>>8546734
Are we the Knight of the Round Table?

Slay dragon with my penis

Weather control. That spire probably has a lightning rod in it.

I polymorph self into a slighty larger and more pleasurable looking spire.

Quickly have a large barrel of chilly powder or some other crazy, hot uncomfortable burning spice brought to me. Climb tower, dump it out of one of the higher up windows.

>>8547247
Of course, the windows!

Better plan: start charging entry to the tower.

>>8547247
seconded also, add in something like alchemists fire.

>>8547247
Castor oil works extremely well.

>>8546727
>>8546694
Sage, report, and hide. This is only proper answer.

Destroy her from within!

>>8547312
You realise that IT'S A DRAGON. That probably barely counts as kinky lube.

Rather than /spending/ money on it, /make/ money from it. I'm telling you here, charge admission. Don't tell me dragon fetishists wouldn't be even MORE prevalent where dragons actually existed.

>>8547333
Boring. This is /tg/ we are wittier than that.

Climb tower and repeatedly cast bigby's clenched fist.

I think dragons would be more attractive without tits.

>>8548212
what, like loli dragon?

>walk out of castle. see this. wut do?
roll on wisdom, disbelieve the illusion.
Dragons are reptiles and therefore, by definition cannot have bewbs.

Depends, is this dragon just looking for fornication with buildings or is interested in finding a mate? You are lacking on specifics OP

I shoot a siege weapon and yell at it to fuck off.

This tower also happens to be where we keep all of our gunpowder and munitions, so that dragon is about to be a different kind of fucked.

>>8547572
>>8546764

This.

Bathe.

>>8551813
This, I think.

rolled 45 = 45

>>8551769
a whole new meaning to blowing your load inside of a dragon

I yell at the men "Fear not, brothers! I shall handle this!". I run towards the tower, dropping my weapons to the puzzlement of my fellow knights. I begin climbing her tail, using the spines for easy footholds. As I reach her shoulder I whisper to her "Fly, lassie! FLY!". I receive a confused look, or the draconic equivalent. With a gentle shrug she allows me to climb further, helping me to her head.

She soars onto the air, as I tightly hold onto her horns and we glide off into the mountains.

We form a friendship that stands the test of time.

>>8551876
All right, hold on tight! RRRRAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

>>8552009
I'm a luck dragon. My name is Falcor.

*ehem*


I cast wall of blades.
in the tower.

>>8547572
>>8546687
Okay, I lol'd.

1 round shivering touch maximizer
2 coup de grace
3 coup de grace
4 ...

Charge dragon for services rendered.

Nova, going absolutely batshit insane in my attempt to show the DM how bad of an idea this was.

How is dragon babby made?

>>8553802
Not with a tower, that's for sure

>>8553802

One part lemon juice to five parts vodka, shaken in crushed ice until it turns into something delicious.

You will probably be shaking for a long time.

I post a shitty thread on /tg/

Complain about gamefags and how tabletop always devlolves into getting drunk in the bar and rolling tosee if you get laid.


Fucking lame ass faggot bitch niggers.

>>8553845

bulshit, dragons can mate with anything, ANYTHING !

>>8554008
That's not mating, that's masturbating.

>>8554033
Even hotter.

I go in that tower and fap out the window.

And maybe lick her from the inside.

>>8554033

>that's masturbating.

there is no such thing for dragons, only mating

>>8554006
IF THERE ARE ANY GIRLS THERE I WANT TO DO THEM

>>8554053

And subsequently lobby the GM to roll up a half-dragon ranger-paladin, amirite?

>>8554053

you better lick before fapping

otherwise you would lick your own cum

>>8554143
During

>>8554143
DO NOT QUESTION THE MAN, HE MEANT WHAT HE SAID.

/tg/ - sexual perverts

dragon porn?

Punch my DM

I throw Vimes at the problem.

Didn't take long to find more of this stuff.

>>8554633

All due respect, Lord Vetinari, but I don't think this falls within the purview of the City Watch.

Uh. When are we getting that dartboard?

>>8554692

>giant green reptile causing problems with castles

I think I have a solution.

Try to maximize Righteous Might to sufficient scale-up factor. Help dragon allieviate frustrations---all in the name of protecting the settlement, you understand.

This is why we hate giants.

>>8554710
instant bonah

Climb dragon.

Cast Grease.

Fuck nipple hole.

>>8551999
this, again.

>>8554008

And so the Half-Dragon Gazebo was born.

I would wonder why a reptile has MAMMARY glands

>>8557227

Dragons incorporate human organs into their development.

>>8546726
ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY WALK INTO MORDOR

>>8557243

Now that's some Good Old Fashioned Nightmare Fuel right there.

>>8557381
No Lupita! Don't listen to him! If you steal, you will be bad.

Climb to the top of the tower, and jerk off out a window probably a couple times.

Later, be amused at getting a dragon knocked up when she thought she was masturbating.

>>8546647
Looks like an exploitable resource to me. What does dragon milk go for on the open market?

What is that? Per ounce? You shitting me? OK, so *looks up, does some calculations* how much does a 55-gallon barrel give us? Multiply that by about 300.

Really? You sure you didn't drop a zero or three?

Score.

>>8546647

flee before structural integrity is compromised by enormous vagoo

>>8554692
Dammit, Doral, at least let me get my raincoat first.

>>8557205
Stat it.

Let's play cave explorer!

1. throw shrink potion at it
2. secks

I wish dragons were real....

I wish dragons were my real dad...

>>8561656
you shrink the dragon....its still mounted and explodes as its body contracts no longer able to safely contain the TOWER in its VAGINA

>>8546647
Roll a sanity check.
If I pass, quit and become a farmer somewhere.
If I fail, join in.

>>8562469
unmount -f /mnt/tower && shrink /dev/dragon && enlarge /dev/self && mount -o yiff /dev/dragon /mnt/self

>>8562509

winar

rolled 78 = 78

>>8546647
Flashbang through the door?

>>8563702
Kinky.

Hmm. There's got to be a DnD spell that makes masonry vibrate.

I get the hell out of there, I'm not going to be the one stuck cleaning that tower after its done

>>8562509
You sick bastard.

>>8564250
There is a sexually frustrated dragon assailing your settlement. Why turn this into conflict when you can turn it into allegiance?

Also, hot.

I hope dragon snatch sauce smells nice

>>8564287
Voice of reason.

Throw napalm.

Use smokes to cover my advance.

Flashbang? Through the door?

Cast shape stone on the tower. Create a lot of very sharp spikes and a send a few grunts in armed with spears and guisarmes to make the fucker get off of the tower already.

>>8562469
>>8562469
I'm pretty sure the tower would just crumble and the dragon would be fine.

>>8564287
This. Build the dragon a better tower with a rubber roof. It would be like a doughnut shop giving out free doughnuts to cops. It ensures that nobody will fuck with you.

>>8564287
>>8564355
I'm calling samefag

but I do agree with it

For fuck's sake, I reported this a day ago.

stimulate clitoris

>>8564434
Bet you feel pretty stupid now, huh?

>>8564434
For fuck sake, haven't you realized that reporting does NOTHING

>>8564434
>reported
>didn't hide
HE MAD

... and a dumbshit to boot

Still somewhat amazed this is still going.

how do you "hide" a thread?

>>8564514
Better question: why should you be expected to hide a thread that shouldn't be here in the first place?

>>8564521

Because 4chan's like that.

>>8564514
you have to download the 4chan add-on for firefox

>>8564521
if you don't like what you see just grow up and fucking ignore it you little bastard

>>8564521
I'm pretty sure the way we're trying to find practical solutions within the DnD universe makes this entirely /tg/ related.

>>8564434
and they obviously disagreed with your report.

>>8564521
because you are hopefully a competent individual who can take responsibility for what you choose to see or pay attention to.

>>8564514
delete system32

For all those going into the tower to 'help'. Enjoy it while you can, before the dragon's orgasm destroys the tower and you in it.

>>8564883
As though there were less awesome ways to die

>>8564934
I'm nos disagreeing. Just sayin'.

>>8564934
Here lies Penworth Feedlebottom, pathetic serf who spent his years joylessly toiling in the soil of a feudal farming economy. Crushed to death in the vagina of a dragon in heat.

Brennen das alle.
Brennen das alle!
BRENNEN DAS ALLE!

>>8557227

Because a dragon is not a reptile, but rather a scalie mammal. No, really. Look it up in the dracomonicon.

Cast Epic Flesh to Stone and turn myself into a tower.

I fucking DARE someone to put this on suptg.

>>8565594
Hell, it probably qualifies under "interesting discussions". I'm just not sure how to tag it.

>>8565860
dragon tower rape?

>>8557227
>>I would wonder why a reptile has MAMMARY glands

Or why it has breasts.

Since ya know, only primates and elephants have breasts. Although nobody has a problem with other creatures having them.

Or for that matter, having the male version of the species look so much like humans in all other respects, even mimicking uniquely male human anatomy. Why the double standard /tg/?

>>8565860
Female dragon's sexual proclivity to medieval, european architecture.

>>8566346
Alas, too late. And that tag would be such a useful thread grouping.

>>8566346
its what i did my graduate thesis on.

>>8565873
I don't see any rape here. Well, I mean, I suppose she's forcing herself upon the architecture (fnarr fnarr), but it's just an inanimate improvised sex toy.

Until someone polymorphs as suggested, anyway.

I can't help but think of how much she'd need to be fed to keep up that level of activity. That has to be a pretty big drain on the local economy.

>>8567406
I was pondering the same earlier, because even cattle are going to be light snacks for her. But for such creatures to have evolved and be stable in the DnDverse, the land must simply be that fertile, and intermediate herbivores that populous, to support them. (Hell, consider the metabolism of the Tarrasque.)

Failing that, create food out of the ever-plentiful energies of magic.

Tell the king's architect.
"See! This is why you dont make the towers phallus shaped.
You're gonna be the one cleaning that up"

Wow, sure is my fetish in here.

Your fetish is to be used as an inantimate sex toy by dragons?

>>8568019
How did you know?

I love this thread. I'm glad I started it.

WHY IS THIS ON THE FRONT PAGE STILL?

>>8546647
"FOURTH FUCKING TIME THIS WEEK!"

>>8568595
Because you keep bumping it, presumably.

cause it's good

>>8568595

going the distance.

Does Draconic pussy juice have any special properties?

rolled 4, 2 = 6

>>8568930
It tastes amazing.

Bottle juice
Use to fap
EPIC DRAGON SEX POWERS GAINED

>>8569106
Like what?
A Cone of Cold out of your dick?

>>8568930
It gives you +10 diplomacy bonus when dealing with male dragons.
But if you roll a 1, the dragon tries to rape you instead.

>>8569172
I'd say "can produce viable offspring with anything", but humans already seem to have that in DnD given all the bastard half-species running around.

Hence the concern that our purple friend up there will end up spawning half-castle dragons. (Natural stoneskin, racial hatred of siege engines.)

>>8569239
oh god, he's right. The tower is even cumming! D=>

this thread is still going?!

WHAT THE FUCK /TG/?! WHAT. THE. FUCK.

>this thread

Why would you bump this?

>>8569453
spite.

>>8569218
Half this board would probably consider that a win/win proposal.
>>8569300
I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be /her/ contribution to that state of affairs.

>>8569239
I have a distinct feeling they will look a lot like Zerg structures.

>>8569453
Because, unlike the anime threads, it's on topic.

>>8569239
anon speaks the truth.

Prepare the Gustav.

Kill it in one shot.

>>8569218

Can I keep re-rolling until I get a 1?

>>8569700
lol

sage and report, hope that the furshit stops bumping the obvious furtroll.

>>8562509
>>8562509
>>8562509

I dont get it.

>>8569897
This isn't a furry thread. It is an intellectual discussion concerning the hypothetical situation depicted in OP image.

>>8569897
your reports do nothing so why do you continue to have a cow about a thread that is /tg/ related

>>8570000
You're funny.

[ohlookitsthisthreadagain.jpg]

>>8570007
>Implying that there's anyone in this thread but 3 sagers and 2 faggot trolls

>>8570014
you're gay

Sagers are just bumping the thread.

>>8570049
Oh, what a clever insult! I can tell that you're probably stephen hawking or someone, so great is your intellect.

>>8570082
>Does not know how 4chan works in the slightest
Lurk /b/ a bit more, underageb&

>>8570040
The worst parts of this thread are the ones where we /aren't/ discussing the macrofur dragon porn, oh herbacious evening crowd.

>>8570113
the reason you sages are bumping the thread is because we have to respond to you sagefags

>>8570113
No, really. This was on the top of page 1 with two sages as the last post.

>>8554692
I'd ask her to shove me down the end of her dick and shoot me out with her next load of cum.

>>8570139
Finally someone speaking sense.

call an orbital bombardment

>>8570168
Citation needed, pants-on-fire.
>>8570146
Lern to self-control, spaz

>>8570049
I'm sage-bombing this thread like the Enola Gay!

>>8570183
Don't forget to wear an amulet of magical breathing, or you might pass out and miss the fun part.

Obligatory

>>8570225
reported

>>8570225
Don't waste your time. Trolls can keep a thread bumped no matter how much you sage until it autosages. And then they can just post a new thread. Assholes. Do you know how many calories I had to waste hiding this thread?

>>8570265
3?

>>8569928
Still confused about this.

>>8570090
I did not post this: >>8570049
My last post was this: >>8570000

ITT

I feel that the best way to remove a female dragon in heat is to use a mixture of spices. This will leave an uncomfortable burning sensation that will cause said dragon to dismount from aformentioned tower and fly back to their lair to deal with applied problem.

Cleaning the tower will be something different all together.

>>8570251
According to the lorefag above, dragons are not technically reptiles. The SRD just seems to call them "reptileLIKE", and the closest thing they have to a taxonomic classification is "magical".

Biology? In my D&D? LOL half-everything.

>>8570255
Thanks for the content-free bump!

>>8570328
UNIX joke. Too long and off-topic to explain. Blame the poster above for complaining that the dragon was "still mounted".

>>8570225
Your skills are required over here:
>>8569852

>>8570328
Something gets shrunk.
Something gets enlarged.

I dont know.

>190 posts and 32 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.
don't ever change /tg/

>LordofChange.jpg

>>8562509
>this is my fetish

Thread Necromancer strikes again.

>dont ever change same-fag

fify

>>8554054
>>8554008

>>8572310

meet

>>8569666

Actually, it would probably be a good thing for the people of the castle to have a very, very large dragon in their kingdom that does not seem particularly concerned with eating citizens or kidnapping royalty. It would discourage other dragons from raiding there. Also, female dragon cum is probably more rare than dragons' blood. The mages would likely be able to put it to good use.

>>8573038

What the hell kind of spell would ever, ever need that?

this thread has reached the point where it DESERVES to be multi-saged

>>8573060

Book of erotic fantasy

>>8554053
You've made another half-dragon..

What.

goddamnit why is this thread still alive

*Crickets*

Don't mind me. Just checking to see if the thread's autosaging yet

>>8562509
I dont get it.

>>8576562
Threads only autosage at 300 posts now.

We're stuck with this abomination a while yet.

>>8573174

>>8571817

>>8562509
>>8578997
>>8570430
>>8569928
Dont get it either.

>>8579020

Pretty Much