Oh goddess, so many times.

>walking along
>see friend
>tackle him and call him a cunt for not hanging out more
>isn't my friend
>get up, laugh, walk away

>standing on the side of the road in a gasmask, helmet, and trench coat
>middle of nowhere near some farms, friend dropped me off for this and would pick me up when I called
>holding sign that says ZONE OR BUST
>one guy stops and says something to me in Russian
>shrug and he drives away
Guess we were both the random encounter there.

>find printer paper box full of live bees
>not even kidding, a fucking printer paper box full of card board bee cell slot things
>me and friend with truck jack it, throw it at group of Mexicans standing on the side of the road
>bees are pissed as hell, not as though they were any happier a minute ago

I don't know-I think I'm the encounter the GM rolled for, but nobody noticed. Ever.
I can walk through a supermarket and nobody will notice me. If someone is ACTIVELY LOOKING DIRECTLY AT ME, and is looking for me, half the time they miss me anyway.

You randomly encounter a man you are convinced works at whichever shop you are in right now!

You ask him questions about stock and are often rude!

If you're nice to him he'll actually help you find it, especially if you're in Wilkinsons because he used to work there!

>at least once a month, this happens to me

>>13676015
>me and squaddies going to do WWII undead history bb gun bullshit
>decide to stop at Gamestop for some reason, I dunno
>try not to break character, just act like WWII Russians hanging around a shop
>employees get manager
>I know the manager
>he just sighs and walks away
>we leave and go to burger king
>burger king gives us free food for amusing them
>get up there and other squad isn't there
>show up like an hour late dressed as Civil War
>confused passerbies gather around the park
>Russian wave tactics fighting Civil War firing lines, both sides with anachronistic bb weapons
>overly dramatic about everything
>even have "medics" carrying off the "wounded" and people screaming about their dying buddies
>eventually disperse like nothing happened

>>13676015
>Throwing bees at people

You sir have commited a henious crime.

>Startled child walking down the wrong hallway in school
>PC is the Principal.

>>13676062
ha ha oh wow

>see person I think is my friend
>he was supposed to sell me a trio of hentai dvds
>walk up to person, tap him on shoulder and ask if he has the Queen's Blade on him.
>it's a woman
>long uncomfortable pause
>walk away
>hear woman say "What the fuck?" as I walk away
>feel like an asshole

>I'm young.
>Waiting outside of shops for mum to come back because she was looking at boring stuff.
>See the back of someone I assume is mum
>Walk up
>Turns around
>It was a man with the same clothes and same hair-do

>>13676157
Forgot to mention the Russian was the cashier.

>principle is a nice, if unobservant man
>I am told to go to his office
>he's standing outside it talking to a teacher, I shrug, walk in and sit down in the seat facing his desk.
>He finishes talking, walk in, sits down and starts working. About 5 mins later he looks up and sees me.

He nearly had a heart attack.

>About to go out on daily routine walk
>Go to turn corner at the end of the street
>Walk into a group of people in motherfucking Samurai costumes.

> get out of shower, it's cold
> wearing towel, trying to close window left far too open
> fall two stories onto back and ass, bruises and grazes everywhere, nasty cuts, but nothing broken
> towel didn't come with me, no-one else in house

Yeah, I was a random encounter to everyone on my way to the police station.

> liatec financing
ITT: Captcha gives stock-market advice. Buy, buy, buy!

>>13676157
>dueling friend with plastic rapiers in apartment complex parking lot
>old woman tells us we're going to put our eyes out
>call her an old biddy and jump off the car port
>we sword fight to the pool and use diving board for a dramatic death scene
>some group of kids is watching us and cheering us on
>expectation of heroics, so let the "hero" take the day and let my ass get tagged and knocked in the water
Drying those boots took forever.
I can keep going, I've got ridiculous bullshit me and my bros pulled off in spades.

>High School, friend gets his book stolen by some guy
>Guy runs down the hallway, I cross said hall on the way to a class
>Notice guy sprinting at me, holding a book like a football player with a ball
>Freak out, for some reason my reaction is to turn, enter a wide stance and throw my arms out to the sides
>Scream OOGA BOOGA in the angriest tone I can manage
>Guy drops books, stops dead and ends up on his back
>Get thanked
>What the fuck

once i was out partying and drunk as hell, I was pissing in this stairwell, some fancy pants couple came out of the door i was pissing one and my piss got all all over this lady's dress. She screamed and I kicked the door shut, then ran for it while still leaking urine.

>Go to dentist for extensive work
>Numb as fuck
>Cute receptionist says that running around the block a few times will reduce the numbness
>Cool, I'll run around the corner for a sammich
>Receptionist is full of lies
>Order sammich from the fancy yuppie place around the corner while obviously slurring my words
>Well fuck it, maybe I didn't run far enough
>Run off into the night with bag full of sammich

>>13676241
> fall two stories onto back and ass, bruises and grazes everywhere, nasty cuts, but nothing broken
That's not even realistic, what system were you using??

>Yes, I know.

Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery shopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid. Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.” And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is. I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.

>Me and brother sitting in buffalo wing place eating.
>Lady comes in and asks for the order she placed by phone.
>Wage slave: "They're almost done."
>Lady looks at us.
>Lady looks back at wage slave.
>Lady looks at us again.
>Lady looks around anxiously.
>Lady STARING at us. No idea what the fuck she's staring at. We're not that scary.
>Lady "I'll wait in my car" and double times it out of the restaurant.
>Me and brother make it a point to stare at her as we're leaving the store.

To this day i have no idea what the fuck that was about.

>>13676330
You, sir, are a dick.
A dick, but also a genius.

>>13676330

Old copypasta is old

funny though

>>13676373
No, he's a useless bash.org quoting cunt.

>>13676384
It's new to me and he brought the copypasta to my eyes.
Y u so mad, bro?

>>13676330
Then you raped the kid and stabbed the mom with your AIDS neddle right? Those fuckers derved a slow death

>>13676395
Mmm, more mildly annoyed and overly vulgar in my reproof than anything.

>Dress up as invisible man for halloween (NOT HURR NAKED/DITCH SCHOOL you faggots)
>Full facial bandages, motorcycle goggles, no skin showing at all, fedora, trench coat, bandaged up arms.
>Everyone stares
>People are terrified of me

feelsgoodman.jpg

It's funny the psychological effect of not having any recognizable human features will have on a person.

>>13676433
Let's get back to stories folks.

>Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day
>leading "time travel tour group"
>all dressed almost right, but not quite
>have fake semi-futuristic gadgets that don't quite make sense
>baffle people all day
>confused by door knobs!
>wish to hire mercenaries at the Pole Ice Station!
>other such shenanigans!

>>13676395
why would you sage the whole thread, which you admittedely enjoyed so far, just because of one post?

You do understand what sage does, right?

>>13676330
Nice pasta, anyways...

>7th grade
>Leave class to go to the bathroom
>See an annoying girl that I somewhat dislike (Let's call her Z) standing down the hall from the boy's bathroom and looking angry
>"What's wrong Z?"
>"One of your friends took my pencil bag and ran into the bathroom and now I can't get it back"
>I feel sorry for her because that kid had been going after her non-stop for almost the entire year
"Alright, I'll see if I can get it back"
>Go into bathroom
>Friend has Z's pencil bag in the urinal and is pissing on it
Does this count? I have another one that is kinda related.

>out on the town with a friend of mine
>very drunk
>see a load of people outside a bar we are walking towards
>two girls are walking in our direction away from the bar
>"excuse me" says I
>"fuck off!" shouts the ugly one of the two
>"oh shit I'm so sorry my friend is an arsehole but she's just looking after me, what's up?"
>"ah, I was just going to ask if that was the queue to get in or if it was just smokers."
>girl says something that I don't quite catch because my friend berserks and punches the shit out of a bin and busts his knuckles
>sharp exit
>20 minutes later get a text from some drama queen along the lines of "OH NO [REDACTED] HAS BEEN STABBED AND HE'S GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEE!"
>clearly mass text
>get a lick of sense from other friend that the guy has been stabbed pretty badly, stabilised at the general then taken to a hospital in the city that has heart specialists
>"fuck maybe we should go see him"
>it's like 2 in the morning.
>"TAXI!"
>turn up at hospital fucking steaming drunk
>"it's ok man I used to work here they'll be cool"
>find the ward he's on
>steal a teacup on the way
>doctors and nurses refuse us access to the ward, there's something like 15 members of staff squaring up to us
>OFW we realise that my friend's hand is still fucking bleeding and we look like we've come to finish the job

>>13676513
PLEASE tell me you lamped Friend hard enough his head broke porcelain and, two-fingered, returned Z her pencil-case without a word.

It doesn't matter how much she might irritate you or how much he's a friend, that's a seriously douche thing to do. Hell, you coulda been a hero, not just an NPC.

This was a few years back. I just left the pawn shop (hunting for some bargains) and I hear somebody yell my name angrily. I turn around and look. It's busy, but I can see a buddy of mine a block behind me, pointing at me. I point back and yell "YOU!" He immediately starts doing some sort of martial arts shit, like what you see in kung fu movies when they're powering up or whatever. I follow suit. We both end our little movement things and glare at each other. At this point, the crowds have parted between us, and everybody is watching.

We both charge at the same time, sprinting for each other like we're going to break into a fight. Only he goes to bear hug me at the last second. I duck under his arms, spin around behind him, and jump on his back. Immediately I start yelling "YA MULE, YA!" and he takes off again, running down the street with me on his back. After about six blocks he rounds the corner and slows down as we reach his car. I calmly hop off his back, we both get in, and I finally smile to him.

"Hey dude. What's up?"

According to the dude who owns the pawn shop, people still ask him if he knows what was going on.

>>13676559

white knight detected

>Go out to movie with a bro
>Wear Soviet officer uniform because why the hell not?
>Guy in line asks me where I got it, tests me on the medals, etc.
>After movie cute girl talks to me, asks for digits
>She doesn't hear me
>Forever alone with the Motherland

That uniform has seen some good times, I tell you what.

>Going to the Rennaissance Faire with friends
>We stop to get breakfast, the car breaks down as we're leaving the drive through.
>Luckily there's an auto shop about a block away.
>We push the car into their parking lot. They're not open yet, so we wait.
>The mechanic's face when he shows up and there's three guys in period costume and one guy dressed as Doctor Who, eating Burger King in his parking lot.

>>13676596
>Wear Soviet officer uniform because why the hell not?
Do you really need to be given a list of why you shouldn't be wearing a Soviet Officer's Uniform around?

>>13676584
>Implying white knights are bad
I think you're on the wrong board, bro.

>>13676596
Holy shit, are you me?
Well, except you didn't get in a fist fight with a neonazi outside a bar down the street.

My story seems so mundane.

>At a bar, went to the toilet by myself.
>Two guys start harrassing me
>FUCKHUEG guy, who I can only assume was the party's barbarian rocks up and saves my ass.
>Buy him a beer as thanks

>>13676559
No, I didn't, that guy was fucking crazy as all hell. If I remember correctly all I did was stare at him for a few seconds, ask what the hell he was doing, and then went a took a piss while listening to Z screaming at Paul when he left the bathroom. She was still there when I left, so I told her that he had pissed on it, but because it was one of those plastic ones and the zipper was closed she should be able to wash it off. She went into the bathroom and did just that.

I have so many bathroom related random encounters from high school thanks to half of my classes being nearest to the bathroom that all the Special Ed kids used.

What you need to understand this story is that the encounter is a kid that uses a bad British accent, pronounces his words "properly" instead of using the local accent and slang, is so fat he is round, has man boobs bigger than most porn stars, and wears shirts that are at least two sizes too small.
>Walked out of band class to go sit down on a bench in one of the main halls
>Fatty walks into the bathroom across the hall
>A minute later I decide I should get back to class, but need to crap first
>Go into bathroom that Fatty went into
>Hear him beating it
>Nope.avi
I hated that kid, I only disliked him before that bathroom incident, but after that every time I saw him that moment in the bathroom would flash back to me.

>Drunk as hell on New Year's
>Some kids have fireworks left
>I decide I desperately want them
>They want to trade them for cigarettes
>I show up at an all night convenience store, yelling about how I need cigarettes so I can shoot fireworks

> last Monday morning, find some construction paper lying around school, get a glorious idea
> fold, fold, fold
> have a fairly hefty construction paper axe
> write "You're a pretty awesome person" on its haft
> approach random girl who's looking a little down
> give her axe
> she reads it and looks at me questioningly
> keep straight face and say with dead seriousness, "Random axe of kindness."
> step into crowd and disappear

>>13676515
Another tale from my eventful night life

>at a bar which is rammed full of people, most of whom are taller than me
>hot and a bit claustrophobic
>go out for a breath of fresh air
>some bloke staggers up to me from a bus stop and decides to randomly kick off with me
>"you swore at my girlfriend, fucking apologise"
>I'm a bit drunk and don't realise at the time that the guy is out for a fight no matter what
>"I didn't, I haven't even seen you before. I think you've got the wrong guy"
>"fucking apologise you cunt"
>guy is about to lamp me when the doormen from three different bars fucking descend on the alley, surrounding the guy as I beat a hasty, slinky retreat

I hope they fucking knackered him

>>13676665
And on a related note, I did lots of things that New Year's.

>Get annoyed at my friend and his girlfriend
>Decide I should teach them about being in a relationship and what it means
>Launch into rambling lecture about ying & yang, culminating in the immortal line "You're not a circle!"
>My other buddy taps me on my shoulder
>The people I've been yelling at were complete strangers, I was just too drunk to notice

I think I have been someone's random encounter.
>Nearby volcano erupted while I'm in college fieldwork
>Rained ash for a coupla weeks
>Had to go to town to print a poster for the lecturer
>Wear flippable welding goggles I bought for cheap long ago, works wonders protecting the eye while motorcycling
>Arrive at printing shop place
>A manager or boss asks me where'd I bought them
>Realize I look kinda like a Helghast with that and my helmet on
I wish I could've said "Print these propaganda posters, please", but this being Indonesia, nobody will get it.

>>13676690
>On a cruise ship with my buddies
>Everybody's having fun, we're all quite drunk but I'm especially plastered
>Russian guy walks up to my buddy and asks how much for the pretty blonde
>After about 3 minutes of intense thinking, we realize he thinks my friend is a pimp and all the women are hookers
>For some reason my friend just says to take it up with her instead of explaining they are not prostitutes and we leave
>Meet Russian guy again 2 hours later
>He wants to sell us heroin so he can buy some more drinks
>Politely refuse
>He doesn't understand because he can barely speak English
>I end up the designated mediator because "my English is the best" despite barely being able to stand
>Finally get sick of trying to make myself understood and explain "I can't understand you, because me English isn't very good"
>I've been speaking English all this time
>The Russian drug dealer wants to kick my ass and I don't understand why, still claiming I don't speak much English, in English
>My friends pull me away just as things are about to get really ugly

>>13676650
>Trying to piss
>Retarded kid and his handler enter the restroom
>Retarded kid starts trying to sing Row Row Row Your Boat and Ring Around the Rosie at the same time and at the top of his lungs
>sigh, zip up, and leave with my bladder unemptied

>Walk into bathroom to take a piss
>Two retarded kids peeing into the same urinal
>Nope.avi

>In gym for some reson with the rest of the class
>"All right kids, line up from tallest to shortest!"
>Stand back a bit from the group of kids to see about where I should stand
>Hear breathing from right above my neck and feel a hand touch the top of my head
>Turn around as fast as I fucking can
>Almost deck the half retarded kid that was standing about 3 inches behind me, trying to measure how much taller than me he was.

High school was an interesting part of my life.

>Going to longsword training
>Get texted about a job as a waiter
>Call them up
>They ask me to come in today, for an interview
>I say "Uhh, sure but I'll be in my training gear, won't have time to stop by home and change"
>Apperently not a problem
>Employer assumes I'd be in gym clothes.
>Show up in full plate with a longsword over my shoulder, In the hotel lobby in which they were sitting.
>Scare the shit out of the guests
>Employer impressed
>Get job.

>>13676765

Huh. Maybe I should try going to job interviews armed.

Well, more armed than currently, apparently this penknife I keep in my pocket just isn't cutting it.
So to speak.

Two. One wasn't so much as random encounter as a failed int test to remember.

>See someone I have a class with at Uni. Barely know the guy.
>We begin walking side by side towards the uni bar.
>Think 'Shit, better say hi so it doesn't get awkward'.
>"Hi"
>He has moment of sheer panic in his eyes.
>Roll bluff
>"Oh hey, didn't know you went to this Uni!"
>Natural 1
>"We met at this Uni."

The other was also University related
>Heading home from 'Pyromaniac society', the firespinners of the Uni.
>Holding a broomstick that we use to practice before lighting up.
>Wanted to try something new that night so I'd stickytaped two glowsticks to either end.
>Take shortcut.
>About to step out of the bushes onto the path when I hear argument. Drunk guy harassing a woman, she sounds genuinely frightened.
>Step out, do some basic spinning with neon-glowing broomstick. Nothing threatening, just simple spinning.
>Drunk guy: "What the fuck?"
>Woman walks off while he's distracted.
>Once I can see she's clear I turn and leave
>Drunk guy doesn't know what the fuck.

I spend all day in an office handing out assignments.

I'm not a random encounter, I'm a questgiver NPC

My crazy ass friends and I are a random encounter generator.
>build wind-powered land-speeder
>test it on windy beach at three AM
>speeder goes a good mile
>we sail past a veritable date rape extravaganza at thirty mph
>we were screaming the entire time
Oh, and there was that time we almost got stabbed because we sneaked up on a couple about to do the dippity, on the same beach, and scared the everloving piss out of them.

>>13676814
>build wind-powered land-speeder
I need those schematics now.

I think I once was aggro-ed by a bus half-full of school kids. They ranged from 13-16 years. I think I was 16 or 17 at the time.

>Arrive at the train-station from school
>walk home
>pass by a bus-park
>Notice something in the corner of my eye. Turn around
>Bunch of children in bus making obscene gestures and screaming something, presumably obscenities.
>Feel the rage overtaking
>Make a wide u-turn, making sure to go the whole length of the bus, while looking angry at the them.
>Enter, show bus-pass at the driver, stand right in middle of them.
>Intimidatingly ask "Is there a problem?"
>No one dares to say anything, hear some pipsqueak somewhere in the back "why are you all suddenly so quiet?"
>Stand there for a like 10 or twenty seconds, say "I thought so" and leave before they realize there are like 20 of them and one of me and they could easily beat the shit out of me.

>>13676765
my fav so far

>in the 8th grade
>some kid had been following me around for a couple of days being really annoying
>i mean really annoying
>last class of the day lets out a little early
>start walking tword the front gate with the same kid following me again
>finnally snap, start beating his ass
>decide thats enough and turn to go home
>to my right one of the classrooms is open and the whole class is staring at me
>go home have a glass of chocolate milk and watch animaniacs

>Heading to work at 10:45pm in the middle of a blizzard.
>Cold as hell, put on my Soviet greatcoat over my own winter coat.
>Also put on skiing goggles, hat, scarf, shawl, other scarf, mittens, wellies, every warm and/or waterproof clothing item I can layer
on.
>Look like some sort of pudgy Stalingrad robot.
>On the way there, see a woman struggling to shovel her walk.
>Can't talk through layers of scarves, too cold to unwrap. Silently grab shovel and finish her shoveling for her.
>Hand back shovel to very confused lady.
>Go on my way.

And another:
>Driving to a Vampire LARP event
>Stop at gas station in Chicago
>In costume already- black suits, fedoras, sunglasses.
>Girl comes up, asks my friend if he knows where she can get some E.
>I get out of the car.
>She looks at the two suits and matching sunglasses.
>"Oh shit, are you guys cops?"
>Friend: "No ma'am, we're musicians."
>Me: "We're on a mission from God."
>Get in car
>Drive off

>>13676999

did i mention with me i had my POS bmx, one of those crappy steel walmart shit heaps heavy as ALL fuck u know the ones
so i just stand on the bridge waiting
the girls are screaming some white night has given chase
the thief had a huge lead, hes clear
i catch the littlest smirk on that dudes face
hes free he did it no one can catch him the loot is his fuck ye...
then he sees me
just standing there
waiting
with my bmx
on a bridge
and hes sprinting
the look in his eyes as he connects the dots will live with me all my life
he glances left then right and back at me he goes right
i then threw the bike at him
in the face
a 15kg POS bmx
he goes down like a sack of fucking potatoes
he does like this 1/2 back flip barrel roll and slams into the ground
bloods fucking every where
i walk over to him hes like crying and bleeding pick up my bike and give the chick back her purse
walk over the bridge on my way to my shitty job trying to figure out and believable excuse for being late again

some ppl like to say, I am a living random encounter, some of them got tackled by me, some not

Case 1: Halloween Eve, I decided to go as some fucking Vampire
Had make up on my face, so I look pale
thanks to lack of sleep blood shot eyey
ceompletly in black with long ass cape
Go towards ,my station with the subway.
Two girls stare at me, getting paler and paler One of them "He looks like the grim reaper"
Stare at them, they run squeeking to the other end of the station.
Me gettin on train laughing like a mad men scaring some kids shitless.

Case 2:
I am on my way to an anime convention in my Cosplay. Again with makeup on the face, again bloodshot eyes, and a nasty looking wig.
It was frigging hot and moist this day so the makeup started to dissovled on certain places in my face, I really looked hideous.
I get to my subway, a couple of "hipsters" sees me approaching (better said just the girl), "I think, oh fuck he looks like one of those that wants to fight weirdos like me"
She stares at me, jaw locked open, eyes open in shock and kind of fear silently voicing "What tha fuck" Her BF looking at me going "woooo, let get out of the way, he looks seriously sick"

I saw a picture of myself later on, I almost puked.
But I was told the costume itself was cool.

cont

Case 3:
Me pissed as fuck, was my "metal head" time too so I head those leather spiky wristbands.
Sitting in my bus, my facial expression as I would be snapping any second and rip someones head of. Bus was full as fuck. But I got a Quad seat (I wasnt makin myself wide or anithing) and nobody wanted to meet my eyes.

Case 4:
Same as above, but not nearly as full with following sweet extra.
I want to get of, in front of me a little kid, me still that mad angry look on my face, kid looks at me, looks at my face, and starts crying and screaming in fear and dread. Its mother not knowing what the fuck is going on (I was like 2 meters away from them) took the kid up and tried to calm it, to no avail.

Case 5:
I am at a party, last day after I helped tidiing, we are 4 on a big as bed. Me not completely awareof what I was doing notice 2 frineds of mine almost choking with laughter, me rolling on my back and saying, I shit you not "nya, whaat"
After evenmore laughing they said I exactly acted and looked like a cat with that stretching and rolling before napping away.

I was confused, but they didnt mean it in a mocking way

Case 5 repeated some more times with diffrent cat like actions from me.
Including having my hairs stand on edge after something scared me

>>13677332
... Dude... Spell-check, for the least of my concerns; otherwise, why would you tell us about you acting like a cat, 's kinda weird.

>>13677345
yeah spell check really works well on my mac, as you can see

and
I wasnt even aware I was doing that, so I was the random encounter. And I think this counts as random encounter

>>13677414
>enjoys being creepy
>feels the need to tell people he acts like a cat
>Mac

Imagine watching a 6'4" muscled guy fly kick someone probably 7'1" in the back. The two giants look at each other and give each other a bear hug. I'm the short one...

I once got hit by a car on the free-way whilst I was on my motorbike. Rolled over her bonnet and bounced back up and started running after the car. I turned back to my bike and people were staring at me in fear in their cars (no one came to see if I was alright).

Got flung through glass once whilst teaching someone throws... We were at a gym and I got thrown into the weights room, I stood up, saw 100 odd gaping mouthed weightbros, brushed the glass off of me, and walked back into the training room. I have many more, might tell more tales after dinner.

>>13677422
yes beeing creepy is good
keeps them bitches away

Not me, condensed from the (very hilarious) blog of a British pizza delivery guy.

>Doing deliveries on a late night in London.
>Take a short cut through an alley to get to the car.
>Run into a very large gentleman clad only in a pair of Y-fronts, carrying a six foot steel pipe.
>Y-fronts takes his pipe and begins hitting a couple of huge speakers with it, ranting about 'fucking arsehole speakers'.

The same guy also ran into a riot three times in the same night, and every time some random fat drunk guy parted the crowd in order for him to drive through.

>>13676692
Oh, it's you! How ya doin, good sir?

>>13676734
I thought I was the only one with a retard magnet!

well ok lets see...

One of my housemates were getting laid in the room right next to mine, could heard the creaking of the bed and giggling n shit. But I thought he didnt deserve it because those fuckers are noisy gits who keeps waking me up whn i try to sleep. So I throw myself at the wall, scratch it furiously and goes "HAARRRRRR".
they became silent after that and shortly someone left the house.

another time I had found a pimpcane in a bin (I wasnt bin diving, it poked out and I figured it belonged to me now) and some friends and I went to the store to buy lunch. I bought ,among other things, a cucumber . because I was thirsty. so we were hanging by the corner when someone walks around it, seeing a guy spinning a pimpcane and eating a cucumber. the guy stops. looks. and keep on walking.

>>13677449
Riots in London?
I cant remeber anything that could be called a riot xX

>>13677523
>was thirsty
>eating a cucumber

why not just buy a bottle of water?

>>13677532

Less riots and more a bunch of hooligans causing trouble, if I remember correctly. The cops just sort of herded them all away from the pubs.

I...sort of got one, just... on the top of my head.
I walk towards the university,trough town, right? and as I walk over the street theres this old couple in front of me and the man stops for a second to pick up something he dropped. I try to walk between and past them but the crowd force me to slow down so I end walking next to the old woman, she doesnt look at me and keep talking. I just nod and go "mhm" a couple of times until she ends a sentence with "dont you think so, charlie" and I go "oh, no, I am *name*" she looks at me and laughs then turns around to her husband who is right behind us, also laughing.
old people need random encounters too

>>13677544

And here's the blog by the way. Funny stuff, shame it's been a coup[le of years since the last update.

http://fagtogo.blogspot.com/

>>13677546

had the same yesterday, just I wasnt anwering and it wasnt the old lady but the guy
I just kept looking puzzled at him, because I did not know whom he REALLY was talking too

(the ppl around too were quite puzzled)

>>13677550
if you wouldn't have said brittish I would have thought you try to troll us with this fag thing :D

>At a bar
>Old lady there, apparently with her daughter
>Guy acting like a total cunt over by the jukebox, playing music nobody likes, yelling at people.
>Lady's daughter leaves to go the the restroom.
>Old Lady decides to go tell him off
>He starts to look all angry, trying to intimidate the Old Lady
>me and my friend walk up behind her, me complete with trenchcoat, beard, thick as fuck eyebrows, him in his army uniform.
>He backs off, apologizes drunkly, hustles off.
>We silently back away as she yells at his back as he leaves
>To this day the old lady probably doesn't know she had backup.

Neutral Good at it's finest.

My finest hour:
>Building a pic related, like from Blue Man Group
>Live at top of hill, hardware store at bottom
>Take bus down hill
>Purchase 12' PVC pipe and hacksaw
>Pipe to big to get into bus up hill
>Nice day
>Decide to walk
>Forgot how annoying/hot/steep that is
>See staircase
>Shortcut!
>Hopelessly lost in hillside forest
>Arrive at back of housing complex, with 4' barb-wire fence
>And 60 year old security guard who speaks no English
>Carrying Pipe and Saw, wearing Hawaiian shirt.

>Helps me break into apartment complex, to get back to main road.

>3 feet of snow on the ground
>Decide to walk to a Pizzeria near my house with my friends
>Get there, order are shit and spend a good 10 minutes taking off outer layers.
>See guy slumped over in the booth next to me as his retarded girlfriend talks to him
>He isn't moving, his eyes aren't open
>"Hey miss, I think your boyfriend is dead."
>"No he just his issues teehee... Hey John.."
>"... John?"
>"JOHN!"
>Apparently a fucking EMT was in the booth next to us.
>"DON'T WORRY MA'AM, I GOT THIS!"
>Drags him onto the floor and starts slapping him in the face going "STAY WITH US JOHN, TALK TO ME!"
>Forced out of store, forced to eat Pizza in a blizzard.
>They have the shovel their way to ambulance, we just stood there watching them with eating Pizza like nothing happened.
>Truck with 6 people crammed into us get out. This thing is fucking massive with huge ass chains on its tires.
>"Yo is this place opened?"
>"No someone just died inside or something."
>"DON'T WORRY SIR, WE ARE HERE TO HELP!"
>They all scramble inside and try to order Pizza, but the cashier chick is to much in shock to allow it.
>They leave with sad looks on their face.
>Still fucking eating my pizza.

I fucking hate my town, it was a Heroin overdose if anyone gives a fuck. Read about it in the paper the next day.

>Couple of years ago
>In highschool way after class
>Friend and I are roving around the school fist fighting over all the weird architecture
>Hallway, small stairway down in the middle.
>I'm a pretty huge dude.
>Friend is backing up, I go to punch him in the chest just as he hops down a step.
>Smoke him midair in the face.
>He flies down the steps just as a big group of band kids turns the corner at the end of the hallway.
>They see me, doubletake, then all turn and run the way they came.
>My friend was fine and we couldn't stop laughing.

Another day, also in high school.
>In gym
>Get nailed in the face with a softball.
>Blood everywhere
>try to laugh it off as I walk to the bathroom
>wiping my bloody nose off on the backs of my hands.
>white t-shirt covered in blood.
>Run into tiny freshman in the bathroom
>Fists dripping with blood
>Growl 'get out of my way'
>He gets the FUCK out of there
>hilarious.

I was ambushed by ninjas once.

I was walking around campus to see a friend when some ninjas leapt from the bushes and trees and completely surrounded me. I thought I was about to have a ludicrous story to tell the police about getting mugged.

One of them handed me a flyer for Ninjitsu Society.

MFW

One time, I decided to camp out on the quad while it was snowing. I got a legless folding chair (wat) and set it down under a tree, dressed in a full-face baklava thing and a pair of welding goggles such that my face was obscured, to keep the snow off and all that. That, my navy petticoat, and a fuckton of other layers, and I was good for the whole night.

A few people crossing campus that night (and in the morning) did double-takes, and I waved to them.

>in foreign country
>walking down sidewalk of a busy street
>notice woman crossing the road
>she's on her cell phone
>doesn't notice approaching car
>wave at her to get her attention, shouting in english only confuses her
>ah, fuck it.
>charge out into street, trying to wave at car to stop
>driver is on cell phone, looking another way
>ah, fuck.
>grab woman and put myself between her and car
>car isn't going that fast, but I jump just before it hits
>my head smashes onto hood
>buddies shouting something
>girl starts going nuts, but is perfectly fine
>onlookers almost miss it, see only the dramatic part
>feel fine, but notice i'm bleeding pretty bad from the back of my head
>no one besides us speaks any english
>buddies enter gtfo mode, hustle us out of there
>wound turns out to be pretty superficial, stops bleeding on the way back
>get back to ship
>officer of the watch sees me
>try and explain i wasn't in a bar fight
>fail
>liberty secured for the rest of port stay
>almost masted for bullshit
>bro LPO convinces them to let me off with a lesser punishment
>left with nothing but a scar and extra work
>fuck my life

>>13677705
"have you not done enough heroics for today!?"
"nope. paladin."

a heros fate, man.

At metal concert
douche with no shirt and weight lifting gloves on in front of me
plants left foot firm on the ground and proceeds to make a circle indicating mosh pit
runs into a pair of guys over seven foot tall
twins with beards and sun glasses on
left one deadlifts him into the air facing the right one
right one simply tells this guy "NO"
see guy 5 min later with a shirt on and no gloves standing quietly next to beer vendor.

>>13677550
I too follow the blogs of a pizza guy and the random ass shit he deals with.

He's a tripfag here too, apparently. Was in a random encounters thread last night.

I'm glad I just answer phones.

i play poker most fridays at a pub. this is where all my random encounters take place.

>I'm petrified of spiders and snakes.
>Playing as normal games have just started and not everyone is at the tables yet.
>Out of fucking nowhere some dick starts talkin about his pet snake behind me.
>turn around... he has it with him, about four feet behind me.
>FUCK!
>jump out of chair, roll across table, hit the floor running.
>My mate just shrugs and tells the guy who was next to me he will have to deal.

another.
>I'm about 6'1", nothing too bad... except that at the time i had about a 9" long beard.
>Was out the front smoking in a break after i'd got eliminated, decided to take a break before buying back in.
>Some fuckhead comes up and starts having a go at the black security bro i talk to regularly.
>Security guy is only about 5'9 and looks like he belongs in an office.
>Walk up behind this drunk/high dumbass.
>Yell as loud as possible.
>YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH MY BOYFRIEND?
>Dude spins around and almost falls over when he see's me a couple inches from his face.
>Says something about faggots under his breath.
>Tell him to fuck off before i bend him over.
>Runs.
>Me and security bro laugh our asses off for the next 5 minutes.

>>13677705
Well done sailor.

I was the random encounter at a concert.

Only dude in the crowd with a Dr. Wagner mask. Freaked out some people allright.

not mine but here goes:
late night train, chavs are playing with their pocket kives and the mood is quite pressing. Decide to read book. rummage trough bag, get out some clothes, get out a battle axe, find book, but stuff back. Suddenly the chavs are all sitting completely still and not bothering anyone.

lesson: reenactors carry blunt instruments of kickassitude. dont fuck with them

>>13677932
yet another.
>playing poker, it's been a few hours, down to four tables.
>Smoke break as the bar is about to close (11:30 or so.)
>See flashing lights outside and hear police sirens.
>About 25 cops come running in the door guns drawn.
>Everyone shits themselves, some drop there glasses/bottles others put there hands up.
>GET AWAY FROM THE BAR!
>Bar chick has my drink in her hand.
>Reach across bar with about 10 cops pointing guns at me and take drink slowly.
>Walk back to chair and start drinking casually and ask my mate how he's doing at poker.
>Dead silence in the room the entire time
>Cop who shouted at me is looking at me slackjawed the entire time...
>Everyone searched in the next 15minutes.
>Cops appologise and leave.
>Didn't have to pay for my drink.
turns out some wankster faggot was stabbed a couple of streets over in a gang fight and we were the closest pub nearby.

yet another.
>Outside for a smoke waiting for poker to start.
>Guy i used to be friends with till him and two of his mates jumped me because i wouldn't go drinking with them shows up.
>Obviously looking for a fight, Not giving him one.
>He starts yelling insults into my face.
>A bunch of the mid/late 40's guys i'm mates with surround him and tell him to fuck off.
>He almost picks a fight with them, until he looks at them.
>Runs off and proceed to talk with mates, ask them if they went to see metallica when they were in melbourne over the weekend.
Ever seen a skinny little 20 year old wankster try and pick a fight with a dozen guys who look like they belong in hells angels?

>>13677705
Confirmed baddest of asses. Good on you, sir.

>Tell him to fuck off before i bend him over.

>>13677968
And my last few.
>sit down as we're about to start, have two glasses of mother.
>Mate asks why i have two... Tell him "I'm too tired to play, i feel like goin home."
>Some random bitch starts having a go at me along the lines of: "If you wanna go home go, just split your chips and go, nobody's making you play, i fucking hate assholes who say shit like that."
>Tell her i payed the entry and i am playing so deal with it.
>first hand loud mouthed bastard goes all in pre-flop.
>Looks at me and says "You wanna go home why don't you."
>Call him with queen/2 of hearts.
>He flips A/K of spades.
>Flop comes, Queen of diamonds 9 diamonds ace of hearts.
>Turn, Two of spades.
>River, two of clubs.
>He rages, stands up and sends his chair flying to the side and starts screaming about bullshit calls.
>Everyone is looking at us.
>Tells me he should take me outside and beat the shit outa me.
>Stand up and calmly tell him "Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up or you can take me outside and i will slit your fucking throat.
>He backs off and leaves, Doesn't come back to date.
>Apparently i looked like i was about to go on a murderous rampage when i done that... go figure.
>Sit down and tell the annoying bitch to shuffle up and deal.
>Security bro is just standing over by the door with a look of "There he goes again."

>>13678035
Last one.
>Get to final table for first time ever.
>Having some fucking brilliant luck that night.
>Single handedly responsible for more than half the eliminations that night.
>Out of nowhere "And the current chip leader is (CENSORED) on nine hundred and sixty thousand!"
>Hot girl that i have talked to occasionally shouts "Where the fuck did he get that?"
>Continue for 5 minutes folding every hand.
>Final table starts.
>Sat next to her of all people.
>First hand, pocket aces.
>All in.
>Have a bad reputation for bluffing when i am in the lead.
>ENTIRE FUCKING FINAL TABLE CALLS ME.
>pull out trip aces against a bunch of shit a broken straight draw and two pair jacks over nines.
>Final table ended in one hand and about four minutes.
>Nobody knows how the fuck to go from there, Everyone is given back there chips and i'm just given first place prize as they continue just to figure out who finished where.

I think the dm decided i was a rogue he was going to use to steal all the partys money...

Oh and i should mention, I am the nicest, most polite and generally pleasant people to be around, it seems my dm just has a broken random encounter dice and i always win.

>Called to scene of domestic disturbance.
>Arrive to find angry and drunk boyfriend outside woman's house.
>Calm him down, walk back to the car to call in.
>Partner is talking to him, seems fine.
>Has his Maglite held between his head and shoulder, as he's taking notes with his hands.
>I see boyfriend reach for something in his pocket.
>It's a switchblade.
>I shout, "Knife!"
>Partner, without missing a beat, drops his pad.
>He reenacts medieval warfare on the weekends.
>Grabs maglite from the shoulder rest position.
>Bashes the side of the guy's head.
>Knocked the fuck out.
>Sweet crit, bro.

I got a rose after a theater performance.

It's a very pretty rose, like the kind you see on greeting-cards, but as I'm walking home with my rose I see a girl sitting on a park bench. She looks really sad.

I walk up and say "Excuse me Miss, would you like a rose?"

She nervously says something like "Um, I guess. Okay."

I give it to her, smile and walk away.

After some distance I turn around to look. She is smelling the rose and smiling.

I felt really good the rest of the day.

>chilling at friend's house
>am frail and walk with a cane due to genetic fuckery
>friend's brother we rarely see comes downstairs
>starts trolling
>things escalate
>chokeslams me through a bookshelf and into the wall
>get up immediately, dust self off, tell him I give that about a 9
>"what the FUCK"
>little crippled dude takes solid hit from body-building martial artist, brushes it off
>we're friends now

My friend's wall still has the dent.

art student. I was working on some, what do you call it? white crispy stuff...used to make casts for broken arms? anyways, I was making a mask and didnt have tongs so I used a kitchen knife for the cutting when the someone knocked on the door. now, what the girl saw when I opened the door was me, with a big knife in my hand, my face and hands covered in white dust and with no pants on.
the conversation was very very brief

>>13677984
I think the exact sentance was
"Fuck off before i drag you into that alley and show you what it's like to be in prison."

i've only ever been arrested once when i was about 13 for hitting my mother...after she came at me and stabbed me in the side with a steak knife...

>>13678081
Here's one where I was on the end of the encounter.
>Working as donut-slinger
>Drive-through order
>"Welcome to Dunkin' Donuts, what can I get you?"
>"Yeah, I'll have a barbarian cream."
>"...A what?"
>"A barbarian cream!"
>"You mean a Bavarian cream?"
>"Yeah, that!"
My biggest regret about that job to this day is that I did not howl "BY CROM, YOU SHALL HAVE IT! PULL FORWARD TO THE SECOND PORTAL, HERO!"

>>13678082
I think the word your looking for is plaster

>>13678140


what?

>due to certain reasons I got kicked out of a con
>wearing a Kamen Rider no.2 outfit
>some guy gets pickpocketed, realizes and shouts out
>another guy, the thief, panics and starts running
>he's running my way
>tackle him
>the look on his face is still etched in my head, was bloody priceless.

>My biggest regret about that job to this day is that I did not howl "BY CROM, YOU SHALL HAVE IT! PULL FORWARD TO THE SECOND PORTAL, HERO!"

And thus, the story of life countinues.

>going to supermarket with good friends to buy foam weapons
>stop at red light while blasting a fast ska-punk remake of "Drinking and Driving is So Much Fun"
> Lean out window wearing American Steel Pot helmet and doing that move where you clasp your hands and it looks like a ripple is going through your arms.
>guy pulls up next to me, rolls down the window, and says "You're f**ked up, man!"
>As the light turns green, I turn and yell, "That's what the voices in my head tell me!" and peel away.
Later. at the store,
>buy over $20 worth of foam axes, swords, and flails.
>run up and down isles swing two foam axes around and yelling the hammer item theme from Super Smash Brothers.
>go to check out counter, see it is worked by a pretty girl.
>"So, what kind of enchantments can I give these things for a couple gold? ... So, what are we lookin' at? +2 frost?"
> even if the girl didn't get the enchantment reference, the look on my face was enough to get her to crack up.

>>13678338
>walk to car with a HUGE bag of foam weapons (it was almost as big as we were).
>on the way home, we realize that the public schools were letting out about now.
> lean out window as we approach a school while holding sword and axe and wearing the same steel pot helmet.
>scream "FOR THE HORDE!" as we pass mob of kids, get cheered on by them.
>pass second group of random people. Take request from friend and scream "I HAVE TWO DICKS!" as we pass.
later, on the highway
>pull up alongside car, lean out and scream "PREPARE TO BE BOARDED!"
>people in the first car are all like, "wtf?"
>repeat on second car
>guy rolls down window, laughs, and we exchange banter
>stop at red light, and repeat on third car (the second is still in earshot)
>Yell about being boarded, and add that we have to prepare for the mole people invasion.
>old lady in the car laughs like crazy.
>get home, hand out foam weapons to friend, his family, and a group of neighborhood kids,
>don various helmets, like viking helms and beer hats.
>have giant game of "Gladiator Arena: Vikings versus Pirates" on the lawn.
>mfw, liberally applied throughout story.

>>13678344

Crazy car times are best times.

>on the subway going to school
>see a kid who I think is a friend of mine
>i go up to him and hit him hard on the shoulder with a big grin on my face and go, "what's up faggot? I miss you"
>is not my friend
>keep smiling and tell him he looks like someone I know and apologize
>awkward pause and I sit down in the seat next to the door where he was standing

Best one I can remember right off the bat was dressing up as the survivor of the apocalypse for Halloween.
>Answered the door in a gasmask and WWII japanese uniform.
>Referred to everyone in costume as mutants and offered them provisions should they leave without any cannibalism
>Had one group of teenagers (probably 16 - 17) take one look at me, shout: "He's going to gas us!" and run, tripping over themselves, away from my house as fast as they could.
>Realized at that point that most of the adults had been keeping a healthy distance away from me.
>mfw I realize that the adults in my neighborhood are bigger wusses than their children.

>during high school
>walking around town with some friends
>have a walking stick
>an Asian couple is walking around as well
>One has a sword, the other is doing crazy kung-fu type moves
>I bow to him as he walks by
>he hits me over the head with the sheathed sword, and his wife punches me in the sternum
>knocked on my ass, friends laughing their asses off
>get up
>couple has vanished
>what the fuck

At my first week of uni i was walking back from class. i see my gf up the path talking to some girls, so i smile and wave. i can tell she's smiling and waving back.

when i get to her i realize my vision is shittier than i thought and ot was just some random girl who looked a great deal like my gf.

the random part is when we introduced ourselvea and her nickname was only 2 letters off from my gf's...

>>13678408
Ancient chinese wisdom: If you see a crazy dude swinging a sword get the fuck out of the way.

>biking in white-out blizzard
>wearing just a sweater (despite the wind it was fairly warm)
>stop at crosswalk next to a couple bundled-up people
>sipping on a strawberry milkshake
>slip halfway across street
>do complete combat role
>bike goes skidding away
>turn to people
>"I DIDN'T DROP MY SHAKE!"
>hop back on bike
>ride away

>>13676330

Another story involving little kids.

My girlfriend's sister is significantly older than she is, and her husband is older still. They have one kid, a boy, who is around three years old. His name is Michael.

Now, the three of them--Lisa, Edwin, and Michael--live in the Washington DC area and we're up in Massachusetts. It's rare when they find time to come up to visit, so we try to take advantage of it and spend as much time as possible with them. Edwin is also a decent photographer, as is Lisa, and they have extra professional-grade cameras...so they let me and my girlfriend borrow two of their extra cameras when they come up.

Now, we all went to the grocery store because we planned on cooking dinner together. We look rather strange, because who goes to the grocery store with Nikon d40s and d70 cameras hanging about their necks, occasionally taking pictures of random people and produce?

We pass the candy isle, and a shit storm starts a-brewin'. Michael wants candy, but his parents tell him no. Shit storm advisory warning in full effect. Michael starts screaming and throwing a tantrum, all the while Lisa and Edwin handle it rather well, trying to reason with him and flat-out telling him "no" as they walk him away. Finally, Michael throws himself on the ground and starts screaming.

>>13678540

Now, Edwin's a seriously great guy with a killer sense of humor and is the CEO of a huge non-profit, so he just does not give a fuck. He calmly hands Lisa his camera, steps up in front of Michael, and starts throwing his own counter-tantrum. He is yelling. He is sobbing. He is holding his breath and stomping his feet, and he begins ROLLING AROUND ON THE GROUND. Michael...well, Michael does not know what to do. He immediately stops crying and throwing a tantrum. He is, as much as a three year old can be, EMBARRASSED.

What did my girlfriend and I do? We took pictures. My favorite is one of this slightly pudgy Chinese-American man--Edwin--doing jump-tucks in mid air with his fists up over his heads as his face is screwed up in some rageful expressionary abomination, all the while Michael is edging away from his father and random grocery-store goers are gathered around, some laughing, others looking concerned, and some trying to pretend they don't notice. One of them is looking directly into my camera with an expression that says "What is happening? I am confused and scared, what is happening?"

We gave them one of the best random encounters I HAVE EVER SEEN.

>>13678544
upload pics?

>>13678550

No, sorry. We've all agreed to keep pics off of the wider internet; they're limited to their photo blog and Facebook pages out of respect or whoever appears in the photos.

>Friend and me standing on a train station
>Friend dressed as a pirate, as always
>Me wearing a ridiculous orange hat (pic related)
>He says something dumb
>Give him a light punch on the shoulder
>He hits me back
>Suddenly, wrestling match on the floor, for about 2 minutes
>Get up, dust ourselves off, I get on the train

>train lucha libre for shits and giggles
>wearing pic related after leaving the gym
>run into narc wannabes
>stare at them
>they stare at me
>start making faux kung-fu poses
>yell I AM THE MASTER OF THE MARTIAL ARTS, WHO DARES CHALLENGE ME!?
>double take
>leave

>>13678390
See, your mistake there was in not just rolling with it. Just pushing it further and further and refusing to admit that you're wrong.

>>13678544
That is a fascinating parenting technique...so was it effective in preventing future episodes?

>taking a ride on friend's red convertible
>wearing >>13678673
>run across guido on another convertible
>he starts talking shit
>suddenly, I jump across the seat, almost falling off, shouting phrases like "LUUUUUUUUCHAAARAAAAAN", "ZERE VILL BE ORDER IN MEIN BURGER" and "DESTROY THE CORE"
>guido is like "wat" and drives away as fast as possible

And from that day, no guido has ever done so much as to try talking to me.

>wearing cardboard robot costume at a FIRST robotics competition
>run into another person wearing robot costume
>robot fight, ends in robot dance-off

I remember it was the last day of school for me. I decide to have fun and bring Boffers. They where all home made. I had four swords, two dual swords, and a bunch of daggers. I had one really big 'camping trip' kinda back pack. I stuff two of the swords and the dual swords, along with most of the daggers, into the bag along with the rest of my stuff I need for school. I slip the last two normal swords between my back and the pack, under the arm straps, and I hold the last two daggers in my hand.

I walk all the way to school. along Route 66, mind you, so it's a very busy street, even in the morning.

Plenty of stares.

>>13678760

Similar;

>halloween party
>make bitchin' robot costume in ~3 hours, full on roboto with toy claws i got at the dollar store
>can't sit down due to assplate design
>have to walk 3 blocks to dance

I waved to some people. It was amusing. I was also surrounded by beautiful women, because apparently nothing attracts ladies like cardboard armor.

>>13678846
I had to walk a little ways to get there, too, but my cardboard robot suit turned into a car with one of those little scooter things from grade school gym, so I was riding in style.

>> dressed with camo pants and boots over them (pretty much like a soldier)
>>my gf just bought me a machete (it was a present)
>> couldn't put it in my bag so I walked with it like 10 blocks
>> guy tries to open my bag from behind and steal from me
>> turn around, draw the machete and look at him
>> he give's me a 'wtf?' face and ran like hell

>me and 4 other friends
>dress up as a post apocalyptic group of people with gas masks and trench coats etc...
> troll around town
>walk into friends junk yard and sit and wait for "prey"
>some guy walks in with a gas mask on and some ballistic armor in his hands
>apparently he "spotted" us
>he wished to trade some armor for some car parts and some oxygen tanks
>of coarse we agree
>the next day we were doing the same thing
>same guy drives in on a rusted golf cart with oxygen tanks strapped to his back
>hands us a glock and says "thanks for the parts guys i hope we can stay in business"
>we rightfully agree and have been trading strange things with this guy ever since

we later found out his name was Travis and he lived like we was living in a post apocalyptic time and his house was full of guns and knifes. but it was the weirdest day of our life the first time we met him.

>>13678976

That is the best story EVER!

> Go to geek rave as blue pyro, gas mask and all
> Meet friend dressed as stalker, gas mask and all
> Walk through town, past all the posh restaurants
> Freak customers out
> Profit.

Was a good night.

> 1,000 orievenl
1,000 dyslexic elves captcha? Not sure if want

>>13679006
one day he came in asking for large sheets of metal of any kind in return he gave trench knifes to all of us and a old radiation monitor.

>Pissed off at the school lunch for serving stale, hard bread rolls.
>Throw bread roll at the window.
>It breaks
>Hit the gardener on the other side.

>At JCPenny
>Walk up to stocker, who is male
>Asks if they have a useless crap section
>Tells me to try the women's department

>>13679043
>trench knives
As in the triangular blade ones? Those are illegal, but still sweet.

>>13679079
unfortunately they were flat but they were really durable and sharp.

So it was back in 2003, and I was off on my first tour in Afghanistan. Due to weather or poor planning or whatever, I don't know why, we have to make a stop in Russia.

Plane lands and we all figure, lets get out and stretch our legs and stuff. SO There's all these Marines standing outside of a plane on the tarmac, we're just chillin', smoking a cigarette, doing whatever.... Waiting on the plane to get ready to go again, right?

We don't have any weapons on us, we're just hanging out.

SUDDENLY - SPETSNAZ

Spetsnaz everywhere.

watdo?

Allow me to clarify - Spetsnaz is a generic term in russia, and these guys weren't the black-ops equivalent to Navy SeAL's or anything. More like SWAT...

Regardless, question still stands, WATDO?

They have a translator, and he's asking us if America is invading. None of us have any idea whats going on, and we've all got this deer in headlights look. They're pointing guns at us and the most dangerous thing we have is a zippo... maybe...

A guy in my unit (good guy, we played DND the entire tour) yells "I CAN'T DIE YET I HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO PLAY MY NEW TYRANID ARMY!"

Tranlators face when.

Im12andwhatisthis.jpg

The whole situation gets cleared up and they make us leave ASAP, but what the fuck.

>>13678699
>>13678699

Yes, it was. Afterward, we all sat Michael around and talked to him about it, and showed him the pics we had uploaded to one of our laptops. As far as I know, Lisa and Edwin had my photo printed and have it stored so they can remind Michael of how bad it is to throw tantrums.

>>13679137
Is America invading us?

>in France for some reason
>staying with a french family
>left to my own devices
>wander around Paris for a while
>walk back to the appartment complex they lived in
>go into the house
>see people I've never seen before
>different colour wallpaper
>"This isn't my house"
>turn 360 degrees and walk away.

>>13679137

Sounds like MW2 all over again.

>me and buddy hit up costume store
>I buy a naval uniform, he gets a captain's
>Going to 19th century LARP on my motorcycle, he rides sidecar
>he starts brandishing foam swords and screaming "HAVE YE SEEN A WHITE WHALE?"
>put Mastodon CD in CD player, crank that, buddy keeps screaming at pedestrians and civilians
>feelsgoodman.jpg

-Me and friends learn thriller, I'm the fat fuck of the group so of course I have to do Michael Jacksons part.
-At Hastings with buds, friend A gives the signal
-Do thriller in the middle of Hastings

-At wal-mart with said friends
-Fallowing the secret shopper fallowing us, some chubby broad.
-decide to get some bikes and water noodles to go jousting
-Friend and me going for the first joust, starting in opposite aisles with a intersection in the middle
-secret shopper shows up just as we're about to meet
-change targets from each other to tits and ass
-

>>13679378
go on!

>>13679367
That is awesome and arguably the best use of a Mastodon CD in the history of mankind

>>13679150
That's clever as hell...

>Machines in the laundry room are being serviced my typical laundry day.
>Need to go walk dogs, my job, so dig though the closet full of old clothes and hand-me-downs from my grandfather that I've never worn.
>End up dressed in Bermuda shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, saddles, a big straw hat, and ancient sunglasses with green tinted lenses (which I usually wear anyway).
>This is in Seattle.
>In winter.
>Get many strange looks, though no one on the street says anything.
>Go into a coffee shop to warm up.
>Little kid there with his parents takes on look at me, lets out a excited gasp, runs over and hugs my leg.
>Wtf?
>Kid then shouts. "MASTER ROSHI!"

Which was how, despite my dislike for and only passing familiarity with Dragon Ball Z, I then spent the next half an hour in that coffee shop pretending to be Master Roshi.

>>13679555
D'awwwwww.

>cold as BALLS, tons of snow
>sent up to grandmother's, told to shovel her walk and driveway
>grandma has no salt, no shovels, nothing
>realize I have to wander to hardware store a few blocks away
>rummage through closet, borrow old wool jacket and hat
>wear that in addition to gloves, boots and insulated slacks
>wander into town
>realize I'm being stared at by the elderly
>buy shovel and salt
>leave, realize I'm still being stared at
>return to grandma's, shovel and ice walk and drive
>take off wool hat and jacket
>realize I was wearing deceased grandfather's WWII officer's uniform and cap
>stares suddenly make sense

>>13679555
did you have the beard? did you perv on the waitress(personell?

>>13679555

That is amazing.

>On subway.
>Standard "ex homeless who found Jesus" is preaching.
>He asks me what I believe in, expecting no answer.
>We have a philosophical debate in front of all the tired, busy, and generally angry commuters.
>I miss my stop.
>He misses his stop.
>We go get bagels and coffee and finish our conversation.

wanted to finish reading the thread before i finished
>>13679378
-direct hit on both accounts
-continue riding to opposite ends of the store with wal-mart employees chasing us
-get to the back of the store, steal apron, walk calmly to the front and leave.

>>13679941
" I belive, I belive in what the old man said, tho' I know there is no lord above.
I believe in me, I belive in you
and you know I believe in love!
I belive in truth, tho' I lie alot
I feel the pain from the push and shove
No matter what you put me trough I'll still believe in LOVE!"

>>13680010
>Human League quoting
I love you.

Sorry, I'm a PC.

bump

>walking along to my car at night from the LCS
>all of a sudden, gangsters
>they're just chilling, but I can tell they're going to give me shit
>the biggest one tosses his cigarette away, fishes into his pocket for something
>They don't realize I just bought a cavalry saber at the LCS
>whip it out, striking menacing poses with it, doing some simple moves which to them mus be intimidating as FUCK
>The other three drop their cigarettes, bolting away
>The one who is approaching me drops the stiletto he was going for
>"H-Hey man, I wasn't gonna-"
>"Shut up. You think I don't deal with scum like you every day? You make me sick. Get the fuck out of here. Never let me see you here again."
>Runs like a bitch
>Mon visage quand

>>13680141

Well this one time I was hiding in the closet while the DM and a player were getting it on in the same room. I jumped out and ran away when they caught me. I've told that story before though.

>>13680183
I assume they were both men.

And that one of them was sufficiently feminine.

>>13680141
I know that's what you WISH happened.

>>13680243

No I just didn't have another picture.

Sorry to ruin your dreams.

>>13680256
Believe it or don't. Just telling you what happened.

>>13677008
Best one considering its my favorite movie.

I both had and was a random encounter.
>Me: 17/18 years old, walking downtown around 11pm. In drag.
>Cop, crosses my path. He is on a horse. Outside of parades, this is the only time I have ever seen a mounted cop in my city.

I think I gave a strangled "Hello Officer!" before leaving.

>At Zellers
>Someone behind me says excuse me
>Turn around
>Fucking crusader in full costume
>"HAVE YOU SEEN THE HOLY GRAIL?"
I wish I had a clever response but I couldnt stop laughing.

>Me and friend are up a tree talking about random shit
>Some people start walking by
>We start sqwuaking like birds and flapping our arms to startle them
>His branch breaks
>He continues the act and "flies away" which is just running while flapping

I miss that crazy fucker.

>Sitting on Skytrain with buddy on the way back from an anime con
>Train doors start closing
>Hobo with trashbag runs in at the last second
>Sits beside us
>This dude smells terrible and is clearly drunk
>Starts talking to us about skateboarding
>We both played A lot of Tony Hawk games growing up so we play along
>Weirdest conversation ever
>Get to his stop, he waddles out of the train

>>13679684
Nope. I've got A beard, but not a Roshi beard. I'm also about 6'2 and red haired, so... yeah, kids.

He was totally earnest about it though and his parents loved me for keeping their kid entertained for half an hour. Never felt I'd done a great service through nerdom than I did that day.

>>13680794
You mean he never flew back?
Maybe next summer?

>>13680830
Eh. You did well. It is always better to be nice to the young ones...

>have Darth Vader helmet
>friend has Boba Fett helmet
>ride down street on mopeds brofisting

>3:00 sunday night. I was a security guard guarding a building downtown.
>walk around building every now and then, and then one time run into a guy and a midget walking down the street by said building
>Guy was my drug dealer from before I cleaned up to be a guard. Only way I could of known his stoner ass.
>My supervisor comes over to see what I am doing with the two... one and a half guys.
>Ex dealer asked if he could take a picture of us with a box on our heads.
>I have to decline

>>Friend of mine goes shopping with his mother, she sends him in for food while she finds a spot for the car
>>He grabs all the food quickly, and stocks up on junk and stuff for himself, literally two armloads of crap. he was throwing a party that evening.
>>Is in a rush to get home before everyone calls over, runs out side and jumps into the backseat of his mothers car, parked right outside the door
>>"Lets roll!"
>>Looks up, totally different woman, same car


Apparently, she came to the party later on anyway

>Alone at local gaming club, waiting for friend I'm playing with.
>He texts me he'll be at least 2 hrs late and if I want to postnote our game.
>Answer I'd rather play today and don't mind waiting for it.
>Turn off lights and take a nap (we have old sofa there).
>Woken up by some voices.
>2 guys, having kinda "private" conversation...
>"Oh, no one's there, lights are off! That's cool, we can make out."
>"Yeah, awesome... so... on the big table or on the sofa?"
>They walk in, turn or lights.
>I pretend I'm still sleeping and didn't hear anythig.
>They freak out and quickly leave...
...
>They come back 5 minutes later talking loudly about gaming stuff, wake me up, ask what I'm doing there... blah blah as if nothing happened before.

And that's how I found out that two of local gamers are actually gay...

>>13676602
Actually, please do. I'd love to hear all the things that haven't happened to me.

>>13682167
>replying to a post that's 14 hours old.

You caught that, right?

>2AM. Come back from bar. Drunk, want fried chicken. Convince next door neighbor (friend) and his roommate (also friend) to go to fried chicken restaurant with me.
>Put on neighbor's pirate beard.
>Am now petite 23-year old Asian girl with pirate beard.
>Get dared to keep wearing pirate beard because it's "hi-lar~i~ousss"
>Walk down main street in North Philadelphia wearing pirate beard on the way to fried chicken restaurant.
>Get honked at, make people walking in opposite direction stop and turn around.
>Weird out late-night fried chicken patrons.
>Go home, eat fried chicken. Pass out on floor.
>Wake up with pirate beard still on face.

Ive had a good hour or so reading this thread. Thanks guys. Nothing much has happened to me, really. This one time at a bus station some drunk guy was going on about "This is ENGLAND, we speak English here" or something. Im from a quiet place in the south so i didnt know what to do, so i just smiled. Drunk guy talked to me for a bit being pretty racist, thankfully my bus arrived and i managed to leave without getting stabbed by the small group of black people who were watching nearby.

>coming back from airsoft meeting
>in full uniform, L96 on my back
>see that my bus is departing from the stop
>start running, lens from my camera in pocket starts to swing uncomfortably
>take it out, hold like a grenade
>start screaming 'STOP THAT BUS!"
>I made it, driver glares at me as I'd kill his family

You guys act like faggots in real life

>>13682846

>>13682242
>Asian
>girl
>petite

>neentel not
I agree fully, Captcha.

>>13680693
I know I'm responding to something >3 hours old, but still:
[outrageous french accent]
"Oh yes! It's very nice!"
[/outrageous french accent]

>>13683021
You know, Asian women aren't exactly the rarity we're made out to be. Especially not in fucking Philadelphia.

>>13679137
awesome

I love you, and love this thread. You people are all awesome. I really wish I had something worth posting, but won't sully this thread with fabrications from my horrible memory.

>>13682846

>ihavenofriendsandhaveneverhadanyfun

I wish shit this cool happened to me.

I know I must have done stuff like this before but for the life of me I can't think of anything, except the time I went for a morning walk with a plastic rapier (you've probably seen them; white plastic blade, gold hilt, fake plastic ruby in same) and a cape.

Ran into a dude from school and had a brief conversation. He asked, I "just felt like walking around with a cape and sword."

This thread finally pushed me over the edge, I now have to go out and buy myself the most soviet greatcoat possible. That shit is an adventure magnet.

Also my other coat is pretty light.

>Car breaks down, have to bus to work
>Walk by homeless guy every morning. Grab him a coffee from McDonalds once in a while
>Go one of those "mandatory" parties with co-workers, get trashed, walking back home (well past bus hours)
>Wake up next day on my couch with bloody knuckles

I did remember everything afterwards after sitting down and thinking.

Apparently while intoxicated I invited him to grab some fried chicken, we ate it, then a couple punks with a pipe or some shit wanted trouble. Hobo buddy goes crazy, I'm an angry drunk, we get the pipe without too much trouble and they scatter. After I smack some kid trying to go toe to toe with me (bloodying my knuckles) we catch the leader and kick the shit out of him. Thinking we heard his buddies catching up, we hide in an unlit doorway and noticing it is only 3 people LEAP the fuck out ready to strike.

Turns out it was a bunch of college kids going home from the bar. They run away screaming.

I confirmed it with him the next day, and he was surprised I remembered it all.

Your party is accosted by a hobo and... hobo in Alfani suit and Aldo shoes! How do you react?

>>13688741

That is the most wonderful story

>>13688741
I recruit them to the party asap because even with a shitty dm this is going to be hilarious.

>walking home from the bus stop back when I was a teenager
>no room in back-pack, have to wear a heavy jacket to handle everything on me
>it's hot as fuck and I'm miserable
>30 minute walk
>three girls in front of me about a hundred yards ahead
>we're stuck walking the same sidewalk as each other for 25 minutes
>suddenly SQUAD BROKEN - they're running off to hide somewhere
>they're crying into a phone as I pass by them, staring at me in pure fear
>mfw I realized they thought I was going to rape them

In elementary school, heh, I've never told anyone this because it was so embarrassing. In elementary school, I saw my mom's van across the street. I got into the van and shut the door, climbed into the front seat because I noticed no one was up there, and while doing so my poofy skirt got all bunched up, so my rear end was exposed, but I was about eight and didn't care if my mom saw my butt. Then I sat down, trying to fix it and looked to my left realizing it was some guy. I didn't even say anything to him. We both just stared at each other for a split second, and then I got out of the van and went across the street to wait for my mom. I didn't acknowledge until afterward that she never parked over there.

So some dude got a nice look at my loli ass before I scampered off, nearly crying in embarrassment. D:

I still can't get over how I just didn't even pay attention to who was in the front seat, or the fact that I could have been kidnapped or something.

>>13688764

How much EXP were you worth?

>>13679264
i lol'd.
did you at least say it in french?

>>13688741
2nd story

In college I did office work for this company on the 2nd story of a building in the city.

There are three of us trying to set up a big fucking TV. Big. I don't remember exactly HOW big but the three of us could barely handle it, and I was the smallest at 180 lbs. So we've got to get it on the wall mounting bracket thing and so I climb up on a metal cabinet.

Bad idea. Halfway through, I lean back, the whole thing rocks and I slip, rolling backwards onto some wooden shelves... into the window. The pane pops out, and I follow it. Rolling down the awning, I manage to snag the support long enough to arrest my movement as the glass clatters to the ground in one piece.

Unfortunately, the net result is that I am swinging downwards in an arc towards the window of the offices downstairs. Very VERY fortunately, their window was open due to the heat and I bust through the screen, stumbling on top of desks and maintaining my balance somehow. I don't even slow down as I haul ass for the stairs, muttering OH SHIT OH FUCK as that $6-7000+ TV is presumably tearing out of the mounting.

The downstairs staff were convinced one of their old disgruntled employees (there were a lot of them due to layoffs) was here to kill everyone.

>Live in cold ass end-of-the-world that is known as finland.
>Snowy as all fuck, cold as balls yet manage to to go out jogging.
>Run across a lake, already stressed by a sheer amount of packed snow
>I could hear the ice crack under me and start running like a motherfucker, with the ice CONSTANTLY breaking off and partially sinking to the river below
>Sweat on my face, look around where the fuck I am
>Middle-of-fucking nowhere, approx a kilometer off my jogging route, even more snow.
>Start trekking back, until a fucking WOLF feasting on a what looked like to be a remains of a rabbit, stares and me and starts approaching
>Draw my trecking knife and assume position
>Fucking thing leaps at my throat, but with a heavy stab to the wolf's throat and my thankfully study enough coat managed to aborb most of its teeth.
>Blood all over me ass I keep stabbing the already dead dead corpse just to be sure.
>Manage to cross the river, with passing horse patrol nearly taking me in before I WALK BACK TO THE GOD DAMN CORPSE FOR 2 KMS WORTH OF WALKING
>Finally explained, self-defense
>Finally home, attempt to turn off the lights. Electricity is out
>No vidya games, only showering on shivering water trying to wash off the god damn blood off me.

That wasn't a good day.

>>13688850
eat the wolf and take its fur.
you have EARNED it, you magnificent manly man.

>>13680010
AMVH much?

>>13688859

>>13688859

I would've, but I was too busy running to get various rabies shots checked and getting the small, albeit rather nasty cut stiched.

Thought crossed my mind at the time, but carrying a full grown wolf worth kilometers worth, drenched in blood would've earned me some serious looks.

I would've shat my pants if the entire situation wasn't whole length of "Shitshitshitshit" and havine massive adrealine rushes that drove me to instincts.

It's strange, For all the strange and depressing stories I hear from Finland, I keep feeling like I would like it there. Unfortunately I can't learn languages for shit, despite otherwise being a fast learner.

>>13688892

Nothing teaches you a language faster than total immersion.

Seriously. It's how I mastered German.

>>13677008
>Friend: "No ma'am, we're musicians."
>Me: "We're on a mission from God."

Ok, I laughed hard there.

>I'm young, going to the shops with my dad to get fish and chips, it's in the evening
>I run ahead
>I jump around a corner ninja style, expecting nothing
>There's a girl there
>I scare her, she drops a bag of chips she was carrying
>She runs away
>I feel terrible even after all these years

:(

>Freshman in High School, watched too many action movies over the summer
>Wear Black Trench Coat to school
>Hallway parts to me, even seniors; confused by this
>Get called to Principal's office, asked some questions; man looks uneasy
>Did not watch news, knew nothing of fucking Columbine
>Goddamnit.

>With my family, in the rurals. Shoveling snow, as I had nothing better to do at the time.
>Notice a sound that is like wind
>Look up
>Notice something long and yellow coming at me
>Stand around like a fucking idiot a staring at it
>A piss javeling, courtesy of some leaky piss-tank of a aireplane
>Continue shoveling, disregard what happened. Proceed to tell family about the piss javelin, everyone gave me looks until they saw it outside.

this is the best thread in the whole wide world.

This is my friends doing not mine.

>Goes into GamesWorkshop to get a present for our friend Mike
>Has heard stories about GW staffers being very excited and annoying
>Before they can say anything he loudly says, "HEY GUYS, WHAT'S GOING ON, HOW ARE YOU?"
>GW staffers are taken back, and don't really respond like they normally do
>He's still smiling and walking towards them
>"HEY GUYS, I WANT TO PLAY CHAOS, CAN YOU SHOW ME WERE IT IS AND HELP ME PICK OUT SOME STUFF"
>GW staffers are still uneasy
>Everything they mention he gets really excited about and has them explain everything
>Leaves store with a Senor de Khorne

>>13676246
I almost pissed myself laughing at that one.

>After year of paperwork, I manage to get my passport and proper passes done to get to former eastern-block in 1999, to get inside the zone of alienation.

Holy shit it was amazing, from crumbling buildings to the red forest, nothing outside ordinary happened, but I got to saw pretty neat shit, including albinism alomgst lifelife that shouldn't even have it, gigantic mutated crops, red forest so thick that even sunlight couldn't get through to the space institute, holy shit.

I am really planning to get back there, and perhaps nab something to remind me of the trip other than pictures and corrded copper righ with soviet insignia.

>>13675950
>standing at a bus stop
>girl walks by
>give her a nod and smile as she passes
>don't move an inch myself
>girl bolts after passing me

>in line at the market
>baby in front of me bawling
>give the kid the same smile
>baby immediately stops crying and smiles back

>>13688956
Similar events have happenings have happened to me... But a feet details were different
>First Piss javelin experience: It was blue, not yellow.
>Second: was yellow but It speared a bird on the way down.

Reposted from the first thread.

I might well have been a random encounter for some people a few nights ago. It was over at the train station, Friday night, around 4AM. Waiting for a friend, we had randomly decided to meet. Across the street, four people randomly started a fight. Here's a bit of explanation: it's damn cold around here, so I was wearing my air force greatcoat and Doctor Who scarf. I casually went over and tackled the largest guy, wrestled him to a stalemate, and said something to the likes of "Let's stop this silliness, shall we?". He agreed, I approved, everything was back to normal. We simply walked to opposite ends of the tram stop and waited for our trains.

>one week before halloween
>Uni society holds costumed pub crawl
>two friends and I get seriously zombied up turns out one of my friends is a god tier make up artist
>We take bus from halls into town
>We sit at back of he bus some people bored
>Group of girls just about to head upstairs
>friend gives best impression of zombie scream ever
>girls look at us startled
>we all assume zombie pose

These are all nights with my boyfriend in bed which he told me about the next day. I don't remember any of this happening.

>Fall asleep first
>Boyfriend slowly climbs into bed
>Turn towards him and give him a really irritated stare
>He climbs into bed, a little worried, wondering why I'm mad
>After about ten minutes I let out a deep irritated breath and in an apparently deep threatening voice I say, "I'm awake"

Same thing happened again but instead of saying anything he said I growled very loudly. He said it was very weird sounding and something that I couldn't ever replicate. The next day I woke up and could barely speak, like I lost my voice from shouting too much.

And then finally this happened at least 3 times according to him
>Laying in bed
>I move around and he wakes up
>Turns over to look at me only to find me staring at him with my eyes wide open
>He tries to talk to me and I respond with nonsense
>I keep staring
>After about 40 minutes I stop

I must be terrible to sleep with.

>>13689084

You are talking like LBGT shenanigans isn't going to be awkward.

>Walking in mall with friend
>We're 19 at the time, back at our peak of fitness
>Catch eyes with 3 teenage girls coming up on a corner that leads to an exit
>They are about 30 yards ahead of us.
>We stare a bit wondering why they are staring at us
>They freak out and start walking fast, then break out into a run
>We're offended so we give chase
>Rapidly close the distance as my friend does his best supervillain cackle and yells "WE'RE GONNA GET YA"
>I sprint past the girls in front of them, turn around to block them off and say "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?! WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED"
>They all scream super loud and we cackle
>They run past us and we laugh

>>13689113

Good thing they didn't have a rape whistle. Those things are really shrill.

>My dad is known to be a huge ass troll, so is my fiance's old man
>Both somehow decide to troll us both
>We are having sex one night, two old men waiting in ambush
>Both come rushing in blowing whistle, one with megaphone
>Stuck into mid-penetration
>YOU ARE STICKING IT IN THE WRONG HOLE!
>Uh-Huh..

I.. I don't know what to think.

>>13689145
I have never met your dad or your in-law, but I fucking love them already.

>go to concert
>skinnymode nerd
>crowd of drunk metalheads "LOOK AT HOW TINY THIS GUY IS, WE CAN MAKE HIM FLY"
>unwittingly foisted up as crowd-surfing fodder
>this is actually pretty cool
>hurled directly at the band as a human missile
>knock over lead singer and slide into drum kit before security drags me away

If only I was longer, I could have got a TPK.

Semi-related; There was a one-off that my friend ran as a fill-in at our gaming club.

The group formed when we were Summoned Monsters for a Red Dragon. We killed the goblins attacking it, but couldn't just "return" like a Summon normally would.

In the end, we had to massacre an entire goblin tribe in order to get to the nearest port, and our boat home.

>>13689147
Because it's good fun to a lot of people?
Don't be such a grump.

>>13689147
HOLY SHIT STICKY,

...
HOLY SHIT I SPENT ALL THE NIGHT READING THIS

Anyway, my little tale, around 4th grade.

I used to play some retarded games with my friends at recess, one of them was trying to create a snake, some sort of irl version to the Snake game in cellphones. So we five children ran trough the school holding our arms in a chain of derp and retardedness, and we tried to grab people so they could join.

Ten minutes later, two thirds of the children were being chased by a 50-children long sentintent, hunting snake, trying to "catch them" and eat them.

My memoery is fuzzy but I'm pretty sure almost all children got involved in that derpy game. I broke out early of the chain because I'm a weak sissy, but I remember seeing a trail of 70 children or so.

>>13689165
ALPHA, THE GOBLINS ARE BACK! RECRUIT A TEAM OF TEENAGERS WITH ATTITUDE!

>Decide to go slumming
>Wearing old military gear, camo pants with a matchign gas mask
>Light a barrel fire, someome brings a guitar
>Sit by the fire for hours to no end listening to the guitar

I love hobos.

>>13689094
It's only awkward because of me. ; -;

This thread got stickied? It eithe means we all get banned, as moot descends from the heavens with (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) everywhere.

That or our mods are demented.

Eh... I guess I can share one
>Dead of winter, about 2 feet of snow on the ground. Frozen on top.
>Walking home on back roads.
>Across the top of the frozen snow rushes a few deer. I can see them from the road.
>I glance at them and continue walking.
>Group of kids round the bend, chatting loudly. Not noticing the deer.
>Have deer caller on me. Use it.
>Deer come Running across the snow, out of the woods. Flying off the snow banks and onto the road infront of the kids.
>They panic and Spaz out.
>Deers turn away from the kids and stumble towards me.
>Notice one of them is actually one of my family's horses. Has Riding tack on it.
>Mount it and ride home.
>Deer in tow.

After that The local kids called me "The Deer-o-mancer" much to my chagrin. Still don't believe me I was riding a horse, not a deer.

>>13689208

That is because you have a penis. There isn't anything wrong in paticular, but two men sleeping together possibly naked create certain kind of "put your pants on" reaction.

Try diguises next time or feign sleep. Alternatively, cover your bedsheets with d20 which are fun to land on to.

Why is this sticky'd

>>13689243
because tits

>>13689243

It is the herald of our doom. I am afraird everyone posted in this thread are going to get banned so hard.

I for I am, could someone hold me?

>>13689253
Come here anon, you will be safe in my strong bear arms.

>>13689243
The question should be why wasn't it stickied sooner?
But I digress.

>Sitting at computer in appartment.
>Look outside.
>Squirrels
>Tons of them
>Sitting on a man.
>Poor guy paralyzed with fear.

>Had Burger King costume
>Played basketball at the dorms in it one night while smoking a cigarette through the mask
>When back inside to play Rock Band in the lounge
>Security comes in
>"We got a call about the Burger King running around... What the fuck is this all about?"
>"Who knows. Haters gonna hate, right?"
>"All right... Well... Don't do anything stupid."
>"I'm the fucking king!"
>"Have a good night, sir."

Oh, I have way too many stories with this costume... So good.

>Go to a funeral of some distant relative with my father
>Dressed up in our best suits
>Visit a major home improvement outlet afterwards because it has a nice restaurant to fill our stomachs cause the food at the funeral was terrible (same goes for the that part of the family)
>Browse the store because we have to walk through it anyway to reach the restaurant
>Every employee grovels to help us thinking us important
>We do not seek to dissuade this illusion
>Finally reach the restaurant
>See a manager type walk to the restaurant personal and point at us when he thinks we're not looking
>Get a sizeable discount on our food as we pay the bill
>Leave satisfied

>Friend is over hanging out
>We are pretty drunk
>I put on my Captain Spaulding outfit
>we drive around stealing cones front construction sides and block off a few roads
>I would jump out at cars that would stop at the cones
>Later end up outside McDonals and do the same to people entering the drive threw

Not mine, but a good friend's.

>Mid-Summer, heat wave
>Go to coolest place I could know, the graveyard. Right next to awesome beaches and cool ass monuments
>Awesome shadows and ocean wind, sit on a bench, legs in some odd tantric position with my shoes off to get off the stink from walking all the way there
>Remember I have peanuts, place peanuts in hand and wait. Birds start flying on and off my hand, including squirrels walking over me
>Asian tourists, probably japanese
>Start taking pictures, and gasp in awe with my apparent harmony with nature
>Someone throws a coin at me, hits my head but they don't notice it. Protest and return the coin, saying I am here just to recreate and ponder the reason for all creation jokingly. While a squirrel runs over my shoulder and over my head, grabbing another nut.
>People start throwing money, of hundreds euros of worths apparently amused.

...
"Wat"

>Dress rehearsal for school play a few years back.
>In small dressing room with three friends after practice, organizing the clothes. We're the last ones in the school, and it's about eight p.m.
>Kid we know in the play who was absent that day wakes up from underneath a pile of ballgowns
>Smiles, politely asks the time, and leaves.

>Working as a lifeguard at a shitty indoor water park
>Find a label maker.
>Make myself and my friend new nametags on our brake. His is "Raoul Duke", I make mine "Batman."
>Go back on stand at the kiddy pool.
>Some kid reads my nametag out loud "Batman?"
>Most intense face I can manage "I AM THE NIGHT!"

A friend and I had just completed a course on stage combat and then went to a bar with a load of drama folks. When we walked around the city, women and old people cross the road to avoid us, because we seem to be the rough sort. Eventually, the friend and I ended up in a hipster club at 3.30 drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and bored off our tits at the posing.

So we decide to start a bar fight between us in the middle of the dancefloor using what we learned in the course. The bouncer takes about a minute to get there, and by the time our carefully choreographed routine is finshed, we have embraced each other and started waltzing. The DJ stunned silence still makes me laugh.

>>13689266
...So i can get a discount just by going to the restaurant in a suit? I call BS.

>>13689320
I's all in the deceive rolls. You have no idea the shit you can get away with if you keep your roleplaying hat on.

>>13689320
>>13689329
Also realize that it was a restaurant in a home improvement outlet, a place where not many people in a full suit visit.

>>13689354

Why would they give him a discount though? Discounting the food doesn't get the store ANY more money. It would just get the waiter a bigger tip, maybe. It would get them way better service, but a discount? I doubt it.

so this happened today... i swear i forgot all about this thread so it's not like i was looking to make a random encounter.

>Going down the street to get my moneys out, it's payday.
>Stop by atm at supermarket just around the corner to get money out and grab a drink on my way to the bank.
>Grab shit, proceed to bank to put some money into a dudes account for some 40k stuff i bought.
>bank is on a sort of row of shops, most have front and back entrances
>Bank uses there old rear entrance and the spaces there as carpark now that they moved to the other side.
>Walking in through carpark about to take alley through to front.
>Guy mugs me at knife-point.
>Bye bye $600 i JUST withdrew...
>Proceed to bank.
>Walk in, Ask middle aged woman "Hi, do you have camera's?"
>"I can't tell you that."
>"Oh ok, well i just got mugged out the back... so can i have your money?"
>She stares at me blankly for about 20 seconds while other two male guys at desks just behind me are probably wondering wtf.
>"No seriously i just got mugged out the back, can you call the cops."

fuck i hate my town... but whatever, i just hope the guys got my emails not to mail anything yet.

>>13689362
>Discounting the food doesn't get the store ANY more money.

A discount is meant to encourage people to come back to that place more often, and then tell their friends/businessworkers/whatever, hopefully negating what was lost in the discount with an increase in sales.

I mean, would you rather go to a place that served you pizza at a normal price, or a place that gave you a discount?

>>13689362
It was not about the money for the store obviously, it was about the brownnose points they thought they would score with some guys they thought important.

In my area there was an amateur film challenge going that I took part in during one of its first years. You had 24 hours to make a film, edited entirely in the camera if at all, using certain objects and locations in the area as specified by the competition. Said competition started late in the evening. Honestly for the entire city of Newcastle (Australia) people were being hit with filmed random encounters.

In our case, I jumped up on the side of a decommissioned tram that had been turned into an elaborate pie and chips stand and yelled "RIDE THE LOVE TRAIN BABY". Then I hopped down, twisted my ankle terribly and started hopping around on one foot cursing.

Also my car was filled with an absolutely ridiculous amount of beer cans. I have no idea where everyone else in the group got them. I opened my glove box and beer cans exploded out of it.

Then we smeared tomato sauce on one of the guys in the group and fake beat him up. We also covered the front of my car in a ludicrous amount of sauce. Apparently after a while that sauce started to make the dude's skin feel like it was burning.

The night before the team were filming while I was working and had filled their car with stolen road signs and nearly got stopped by the cops.

>>13689398
oh i'll also add i live in aus. our banks aren't like the ones from american shows/movies, they are small usually staffed by like 4-5 people, two working deposit/withdrawal forms two working on the other stuff, loans/opening/closing accounts. about the size of your average corner store.

>Doorman at college pub
>Early in the evening, pretty calm so far
>Guy gets out of cab a few feet rom me and walks over to me
>"Hi, I was just wondering If i could borrow some tape"
>"Nah, sorry man, we don't do stuff like that"
>"You sure? I really need it"
>"Look, I don't even know if we´ve got any. Besides, what do you need it for?"
>"For my leg"o
>"Huh, yeah right, I looks fine to me"
>"Here, feel my leg"
>"What? No I´m not gonna feel your leg"
>He know lifts up his leg and tells me again to feel it, I´m getting more than a little suspicous now
>"Alright, alright, fine I´ll do it"
>I put my hand right below his knee and start sliding it downwards and It´s clear that something isn't right
>As I move my hand down his leg, I realize that it´s not a leg, it is in fact a prosthesis
>"... I... I just... you really are one-legged"
>"Yes"
>"Alright, cool, tell you what, I´ll go and find you that tape"
>I leave him outside and go in to find some tape, I find it, and return and hand it over to him
>He then starts wrapping the taping very tightly around his head and face
>"Alright, thanks a lot brah!"
>"Uh... yeah, sorry about not believing you about the leg thing."
>"No problem, have a great night!"

>Run in the street in the middle of the night with my friend, trying to jump another friend for the lulz. >Run hunched and roll on the ground/perform simple acrobatics
>Run around the corner straight into a woman in her thirties, my friend doing a cartwheel and landing to flank her and me standing up right in front of her with my arms streched to the sides, crouching.
>Woman grabs her purse with a fearful expression as we sloooowly stand up. She begins swearing at us when she realizes we are not demented ninjas out to rob her.

>A drop-dead redhead smiles at me at the bus stop. Waaaaaay out of my league. We both get on the same bus. After a few minutes a guy gets on the bus, totally paranoid - looking around non-stop, sweating, his eyes racing all over. He clutches his cellphone to him and continues looking about until, after a short while, he opens it and calls someone named 'The book of radiance', or Sefer Hazohar in Hebrew, a Kabbalah book that is said to drive the unintiated reader mad. Instead of talking, he stares at the screen intently.

I hear a 'click' and see the redhead smiling, her own cellphone out, the light I just saw being the flash of the camera directed at the paranoid man.

She smiles to me, and gets off in the next bus stop.

>>13689530
dude wat

>>13690138
it seems that the hot redhead was trolling the parinoid dude

>>13689530
>>13690163
No, the hot redhead chick was an agent of some kind. Anon went and missed the CoC plot hook under his nose.

>>13690268
thats what I thought at first but if she was some sort of agent she would have used a more discrete method of taking a picture than a camera phone with flash.

Do go on.

> walking home from the bar
> see man chasing a skunk into a bush
> man has a large stick and begins to hit the bush
> I start laughing
> "What's so funny shithead? I'm trying to catch that rabbit."
> "Since when do rabbits have white stripes going down their back?"
> Later realize I should have said nothing.

bamp

When I first moved out of my mom's house, I did the stupid thing and left without telling anyone. I packed up my backpack, my replica sword (a thin bladed hand-and-a-half with a dull edge) and walked off from our rural home and out toward the nearest city.
>Hour and a half of walking and I keep getting people slowing their cars to stare at the guy walking down the road with a sword under his backpack and a cracked pocket watch hanging from his belt.
>Meet another guy walking down the road and he stops for a moment.
>"That a real sword?"
>"Yup."
>"Cool... Want a smoke?"
>"No, thanks. I don't smoke."
>"S'cool. Take care."
>Random guy walks off smiling and I keep moving toward the city.

Enter an ongoing art class, ask the teacher there for some tape. Suddenly, girl pokes her head out from behind art easel, points and yells "You! Quit stalkin me!"

Look at her, "huh?"

She says that I've been popping up repeatedly around her and we all share a laugh. Walk back out with tape and a smile.

Next school semester, second week in, I walk past her and again she says; "You! You're still doing it!" More laughter ensues from both of us.

>harsh winter and buses have stopped running
>have to get to work
>bundle up in heavy clothes and put on the full fleece cloak I bought at a renaissance faire.
>car full of teenagers stops to ask if I need a ride
>smile and tell them I'm half way there already, but thanks
>they drive off slowly watching me as I trudge through almost two feet of snow up the steepest hill in our area

>>13695305
>they drive off slowly watching me as I trudge through almost two feet of snow up the steepest hill in our area
>uphill
>both ways
>in my bare feet

>>13695393
Nah, the hill I was going up was only because I have go down a long hill that comes down into a sort of ditch-like valley. There's an artesian well there and some houses, but that's about it.
If you live near Seattle, you may know about the area. Apparently lots of people flock to the well for the water there.

>A wild giant has appeared!
>It looks sad and starving

This basically describes every time someone sees me coming around a corner. I either invoke a breif moment of terror or sympathy in so many people. CURSE MY 6ft 7 SKELETAL BODY.

Me and a bunch of friends took some crappy medieval replica stuff from our favorite teacher, she was retiring. We rode around town with flags sticking out of the car windows, earning us a "Huzzah" from another car. Then we go to this other high school, where my friend's GF goes. We get out and pick her up while wielding paper mache swords and capes. I was laughing my ass off the whole time.

>Go to movie theater late at night dressed like "The Dude"
>Bring coffee mug up to concession stand and ask for a white russian.
>concessionist is not sure how to reply.
>Ask for Pibb instead
>He fills it up, I leave a pile of change on the counter and walk away.

For great justice. Bump every zig.

>>13696394

My hair is long enough. I should totally do this.

>move-in day in college, on morning move-in crew
>take shower, air dry. Watching lines of people moving into dorm while naked
>Assume no one can see in my window, due to slightly tinted glass and angle. They can see in my window.

>>13699022
"...."
"...."
"...."
"....ladies."

>>13699041
Well, someone's mom spotted me first and tried to tell her family. I obviously faded back so I couldn't be seen. Her family thought she was crazy and she tried to convince them she saw some random naked dude just hangin' out on one of the upper stories.

>>13699058
Still, man.

Nice.

>Just got out of a paintball match that lasted 8 hours in 90 degreen weather
>Bleeding from tree-branches and one hit that didn't break
>Longish hair is stuck to my head with sweat
>Dirty as hell
>Pale from being so hot
>Wearing full military gear with 4 people, all dressed the same and looking murderous
>Walk into a Wendy's for treats, generally delightful day
We got a couple stares

Another time
>Helping a friend film a movie
>She's a special effects artist and pretty good at it, me and another friend are covered in very realistic and fatal looking gashes and blood
>Go to a Friendly's for ice cream
>Someone starts to call an ambulance before I stop them and explain what happened

I told my SFX friend about it- I guess her work is good then

Bumpin' to keep this shit alive for another day.

>Get off Army course sunday night
>still in uniform
>go to Wendy's for burgers with a couple friends
>chatting and standing in line
>stares and looks from people
>order politely and go sit down to eat
>lady comes in yelling at her daughter
>all three of us are still in course mode and so we leap to attention
>realize we look like jackasses and sit down amongst muffled laughter from those around us
>leave without saying a word to anyone else

I've had a lot of random encounters in uniform while in fast food places. The best was when I stopped a group of hooligans from ransacking a McDonalds.

>>13700317

Somewhat related, although it involves a random encounter I had with other people.

>Hammered on Remembrance Day
>Lot of military guys out and about
>walk into pub bathroom
>two guys in kilts holding a Squid upside down with his head in the toilet
>we lock eyes
>give them a thumbs up and leave

I went downtown with a few friends one night and after a night of drinking we went to McDonalds. Outside the McDonalds was a girl in a quite convincing Elf costume. Her friend apparently did her up for her makeup artist course or something. They have it on video, actually. I'll see if I can find the youtube link. You get to see my friends being dumbasses in it.

>>13700509

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3x8oyq37SdQ

The actual makeup stops around 45 seconds in if you want to skip it. My friends appear at 1:15. Yes, I hate them too.

>Walking around at the park at night with a friend
>Helicopter flies overhead searching with a spotlight
>Hold up signs that say something stupid, i forget what
>It passes over us with its searchlight
>2 seconds later it does a doubletake and stares at us for a while before moving on

>>Australia Day in the city
>>Accosted by drunk bogans, refuse their demands on grounds I can't understand what the hell they're asking for.
>>Leader of bogan group, recognisable due to his hat being improvised from a Fruity Lexia box, attacks.
>>Two swings in fist comes out of nowhere and floors bogan leader.
>>Look up, see man in stripper-tight Lifeguard uniform with seventies-stache salute and run off down George Street, carrying with him the Fruity Lexia hat.

I will forever remember this moment as perfectly capturing the true spirit of Australia.

>>13700533
>implying I'll hate them

>I was.. 14 or something
>With family in Germany in a part where there's woods and shit
>Small cabin in the woods
>Late at night, go outside to appreciate the nice weather
>Taking pictures with a digi-cam
>Flash goes off, I look at my picture, on it is a wolf.
>I quickly look at where I took the picture and take another, wolf is gone

Went inside quickly after that.

Another during my school years.

>Have to walk to school past a train-yard and over train-tracks unguarded by lights and stuff
>Check to see if train, no train, walk to the other side of the yard.
>Suddenly come face to face with a guy ripped like 80's ahnold, plus he's naked.
>Blink and speak: "You a terminator?"
>He laughs and walks away in the opposite way of me

Never figured out what the fuck he was doing there, never met him ever again either.

>>13701996
>ripped like 80's ahnold, plus he's naked.

>>13701996
>Suddenly come face to face with a guy ripped like 80's ahnold, plus he's naked.
>Blink and speak: "You a terminator?"
nice quick thinking dude

my experience
>in college dorms because its more affordable than driving to college every day
>entire dorm block is accosted by jehovas witnesses every single weekend
>me and roommates figure out a shift-structure where one of us has to deal with them every weekend
>this goes on for a year and the jehovies still don't fuck off
>eventually get tired of this shit. formulate a plan.
>jehovies come on my day to repel them
>answer the door butt naked with a giant rubber dildo in one hand, lube in the other, my roommates making gay grunting noises out of sight in the next room and jazzy porno music playing on full blast
>jehovies quickly try to backpedal, appologizing profusely
>tell them 'no, come on in! we have enough lube for everyone!'
>they sprint away from the dorm block towards their car
>give chase, butt naked, screaming things like 'WHY WONT YOU LOVE ME LIKE YOU SAY JESUS DOES?'
>hump their shitty little toyota corrola while they're scrambling to get it started
>never seen a toyota peel out so fast before
>walk back to dorm block. pretty sure half the college saw my antics, and the other half are seeing me walking back, dong flapping in the breeze and giant rubber cock flopping in my hand
>become college superhero for getting rid of the jehovies from that day forward

>>13702185
One questions remains - why do you own a gigantic rubber dildo?

>>13702223
He said he was in college, lived with guys. So, assume he's in a fraternity, which neatly explains the gigantic rubber cock.

>>13702185

>>13702223
>formulate a plan.
>accosted by jehovas witnesses every single weekend
>this goes on for a year
There's your answer

>>13702223
bought it a few days beforehand as a neccesary pre-requisite to the plan, at the suggestion of one of my roommates. he thought it'd add another layer of psychological fuckery to the entire situation, and i was inclined to agree. we all chipped in for it. damned if i know what happened to it afterwards though. left it in the kitchen when i got back in after my escapade, and it basically went missing from there.

still the best $80 we ever spent

>>13702185
>live in cork city, in the little island part
>last year, FLOODING. WATER WATER EVERYEWHERE. WITHA FAIR AMOUNT OF SEWAGE
>sitting on fence outside house, after performing some gymanstics to get there without getting wet
>housemates leaning out 2nd floor window, drinking and smoking
>stupidly drunk student swimming up street
>swims over, asks can he have a light
>realise he has a soggy fag clamped between his fingers
"Sure thing man"
>he swims off, delighted

alcohol is a cruel mistress. as are his friends for letting him off in these conditions. he could have drowned quite easily.

Walking down the street with a few friends of mine, on our way to an archery competition (which was around a half-mile from our respective houses, as we were essentially neighbors). Run into a group of friends on their way back from a gun/knife show.
My group is carrying bows; their group is carrying firearms, swords, random melee weapons.
Random cigarette break puts us both on the same corner for ten minutes while we shoot the shit, show off our gear and be the affable miscreants we are.
Suddenly, two cars full of gangsters rolled by, we hear shots, so we give a double-take, half of us look for cover, the other half go around the corner, see the parked gangster car.
Suddenly, a small group of arrows punctures the driver's side door and a spear is thrown through the window on the back passenger side.
Gangsters come out of the house, look at their car, run away on foot... then see us, and run away the other direction.

Turns out they'd shot some guy's TV up as a warning, and weren't expecting to get their car attacked by the local archery folks. The spear was one of the gun/knife show guys' purchases, and it almost got us caught when he retrieved it out of the back of the gangsters' car.
Still, not a bad day, even if it was a random encounter all around.

Remember that /b/ cap of a dude slamming his body against the stall where some guy was taking a shit and scared him shitless (lol)?

I did that except the stall wall broke and I busted thru it much to the astonishment of the occupant.

>>13702426
Did you remember to shout 'OH YEAH' when the wall gave way?

>>13703022
I ran like a motherfucker while cackling and doubling up from lack of oxygen as I bolted from the bathroom.

this one happened to me during Halloween i wasl ike 17 and we were huge 40k fans

>with friends
>we dressed up as a cultists towards our favorite god
>I was a nurgle cultist
>sitting on a bus ready to go into a more crowded area to troll the locals
>a pretty tall strange looking woman gets on the bus
>she looks nervous as shit
>she then looks over at me
>she suddenly looks all happy to see me and not nervous at all
>at her stop she comes over and whispers some strange language into my ear almost like she was speaking in tongues
>notice that on her neck was a tattoo that looked like a mark of nurgle
>proceed to freak out

until this day i have no idea what that was about.
fucking real cultists or something....

\>>13704117

>>13704117
Better shoot yourself now and not spread your corruption unto the rest of the planet