>Buy a 2000 point army
>Equip them with Level 20s
>New edition comes out
>Have to re-paint

GOD DAMN IT

>Put all my points in Move Silently
>Sneak past mercenaries
>Roll a 30
>Everyone sees me
>Wake up
>My face

>playing a 3rd level Light Warrior
>DM demands Tribute to enter Main Phase
>blow 3 Will to reroll
>DM declares Mornington Crescent

>Playing lvl 35 lawful evil Sporadicorn
>Encounter standard hunting party of Orcs
>All rank delta or lower
>Oh, fine I'll just-
>FIVE of them have bernarded spear arms.
>mfw

>sneak past Horsell Common
>roll an adjusted 35
>on the random encounter table
>GODDAMN MARTIAN TRIPODS

>roll a Witch
>attain too many Grief Points
>huh I never did find out what happens when---
>THE GAME IS NOW KNIGHTWHEELS

>Bard
>Gathering souls
>Lich comes into village
>Get completely wrecked
>Knight walks into town
>Fusion

And not a fuck was given that day.

>>14137572

>DM declares Mornington Crescent

I fucking HATE that.
Especially when its not been made clear if the flag is in the up position.
OR if Queensbury rules are in play for that matter.

>have 40 ranks in perform (wind insturments)
>have to wow a crowd of spectators that are on the verge of rioting due to previous act's shitty performance
>roll a 1
>fart at the table at the same time
>rumble shakes the table so hard the dice rolls over to a 20
>GM takes the 1, but gives me a circumstance bonus due to wind insturment proficiency at the table
>still fail roll
>mordor becomes overrun
>you have failed lord sauron for the last time, starscream!

>Going triangle
>Encounter a line
>Want to go R3
>roll -i
>mfw

>Mornington Crescent

>DM declares Mornington Crescent

BULL
FUCKING
SHIT!

I hope you turned his table upside down for that!

>Running a fish mission.
>Arrive at reef.
>Nat 20 being a fish roll.
>Coral. Coral Everywhere!
>Hellyeahmotherfucker.jpg
>Suddenly Dolphins.
>Fucking Dolphins...
>MFW

>Get some people together to play
>One guy insists on using the British variant
>Spend entire night converting all the stats to metric
>My face the entire fucking time

>browsing /tg/
>suddenly, Im Sorry I Haven't A Clue

I love you /tg/

>Creating character
>Have 20 extra e-points to burn
>"Can I take a nail bat?"
>GM: "No, this is suburban campeign, not inner city"
>Take jPhone instead.
>Start game next day
>GM's girlfriend has .38 special
>GM: "She had the points for it and her father is a cop"
>I have no face.

>DM declares Mornington Crescent
Lol, you should always have some unpredictability malachite for situations like this. Noobs.

>Playing Falling Leaves
>Everyone is Birch
>That Guy wants to play Oak Leaf
>MFW

>>14137759
Let me guess, he wanted to be 'viberant orange' right? God, they're worse than Drizzit clones.

>"Okay guys, you'll be in a Nonspace pocket this mission"
>Party has no defense against Nethertech since GM has claimed all relevant equipment is "OP" or "unrealistic for us to have"

> Have a 20 squads gnoll army
> Kill all opponet's hoplites in first turn
> He draws 3 fucking thunder titans
> I lose by 5 devotion points
When is the 13th edition coming out? This shit is so overpowered.

> DMing Crusades
> Derpfuck player insists on being an assassin
> This is despite Crusades not having an assassin class
> Derpfuck player spends time trying to sneak around despite there being no goddamn rules for this
> Party is entering town, roll an "acid bomb" on the random miracles table
> Acid melts his fucking legs off
> Derpfuck player gets all pissy and storms out accusing me of being a dick, despite the fact that players make all the rolls in Crusades, so he knows I couldn't have set it up delibarately
> Proceed to have awesome session with players who aren't fucking retarded
> trollface.jpg

>Spend all day statting up a Clown Wizard with extra ranks in Luchador Archeologist
>Make sure to calcuate Judgement Crown bonuses correctly
>Get all the requirements for the spells I need to meet my fluff, especially for Beam of Hair, Sparrow Ray and Toffee Twister
>DM tells me we're playing D&D tonight
>mfw

>>14137624
>>14137682
>>14137701
>>14137721
The party wasn't even fucking Towered. DM said it was legit cause of Queensland Flood, which is a bullshit move cause we were playing Empire rules, not that Neo-Commonwealth garbage.
We got him back later that night in a different game by forcing him into Treason and ransacking his Grain Bins.

>play bunnyfolk
>put all Strenght points into punch
>op as fuck with metapunching and unarmed combat folios, plus racial bonus to speed

> Running an Amtrak setting game
> Tell everyone to roll up in advance
> That Guy turns up with a Shinkansen

>>14137786
>Beam of Hair
>Toffee twister

How did you get a clown wizard to get two spells from opposing schools?

>Roll a ford F-150 since my previous jeep got in a wreck with a semi-trailer carrying a load of pigs
>have to buy it used due to lack of blue chips and having to pay for the dead pigs
>DM rolls on random event table
>suddenly, STREET RACE!
>opponents are DM's girlfriend in a ferrari and a rolls royce DMPC
>new car is fresh from the used lot. hasn't even had a proper oil change yet and absolutely NO beneficial modifications. half the car is wood pannels and duct tape
>WHY?

>>14137786
>Clown Wizard
>Not Clown Robot

What is wrong with you.

>Playing DtD
>mfw the new player decides to play a Tiefling Werewolf Assassin of Malal with the Black Spiral Dancer asset.

>levitating
>asshole pierces my chakra with a hate bullet
>my enlightenment is delayed for another fucking decade
>my pyrokinesis when

I'm getting so sick of fucking player bitch about Mornington Crescent! Its there for a reasons and its fair and Balanced. Hell! Its the point of the God Damn Game. Deal Whit it!

>playing a pretty casual cosmology deck at FNS
>make it to the last round
>the other guy is playing fucking comp. finance
>grants for over 9,000 every fucking turn
>buys my observatory out from under me

>>14137804
The Transylvanian Spelunkers expansion I guess. Some crazy shit in there. I equipped my 6-level baker with a cone of misconception without losing patriarchy points lol.

>>14137848
>Morning Crescent
>Point of the game
Oh my god, really? Have you even played an edition before 12th?

>>PLaying Monster Hunter

>>idiot with greatsword spends all his stamina charging
>>gets run over by wyvern with no stamina to dodge

if he fucking did his job and engaged the wyvern I could've hit him with a barrage of sleep shots instead of spending all my stam running the fuck away

>>14137848
Fair and balanced my ass! Mornington Crescent has become synonymous with deus ex machina for fuck sake! It's become the underpinning of every goddamn ass-pull the DM has done in my games for the past year, and never ONCE was it justified with either Queensbury, Commonwealth or Empire status switching. Hell, he didn't even bother tipping his hat to tube delays!

Mornington Crescent? More like "Train's late. everyone's fired!"

>>14137804
Little known trick this, if you get enough Spam Points in the Luchador Archeologist's Spanish Topple skill, you can take spells from any school. You do get the Gimp Kneecap trait though, but Im planning to counter that with the Infinity Hips at level 6.4

I'm banned from choosing Boy Scout as a background and knowing base knowledge on everything with the justification "I got the merit badge"

>Go to local game store
>See a guy finish up a game of Zodiac
>Apparently he's been beating all comers with a Taurus/Scorpio deck
>Challange him
>Use my Virgo deck, he scoffs
>Kick his ass before the moon even enters Jupiter
>He rages and flips the table, gets kicked out of the store.
>Find one of his Taurus' Left Horn cards under the rack of Steve Jackson games.
Everythingwasbetterthanexpected.png

>Party is journeying across the countryside
>Beckoned by an old man in a tattered cloak
>"Greetings, travellers. The roads have been dangerous lately... I have a sword I'm too old to use myself. It's yours for a price."
>Sure, why the fuck not?
>Old man walks into the house, as he closes the door he whispers "This contract has been sealed."
>Enter the house, it's in shambles and there's nothing inside but a single Hellforged Dragoncleaver jammed into the floor
>Check with DM, he confirms that we just gave away all of our destiny points.

Well FUCK. Now we're definitely going to die by the end of this. At least we got one of the best quality weapons we can get, but still...

>>14137891
>Infinity Hips at level 6.4

So I only have to put up with Gimp Knee for 1.8 levels? That's shit's broken right there.

>>14137872
>>14137886

Now Look Here You GOD DAMN APIE-RETARED-MARY SUE-FURFAG!
I've Invested Myself Emotionally Into This Game Like It Was My Entire Life, Even Thout It Was Only Around For A Few Measly YEars!
Its The Sole Reason I have To live And I'd Sooner Die Then Admit That I've Wasted My Life On A Pointless Endavor!
Mornington Crescent! Mornington Crescent is the whole point of the Game for Us True DMs!

>playing a new game with friends
>object of the game is to make the shittiest thread possible
>op wins

>Playing human vagabond
>put 10 points in diplomacy
>take magic assisted action on diplomacy
>my words are now mind control
>talk to people who don't speak my language
>commune with animals
Fuck yeah!

>play an Arcanner, canner of all things arcane
>spend days canning things
>cannan magics
>cannan creatures
>cannan abstract concepts
>feels good man
>blast BBEG with Canned Dragonfire
>nat 20s
>BBEG responds by canning the dragonfire and throwing it back at me
>with my own nat 20s
>my fucking face when
>down to 1 HP
>rest of the party is dead
>open up a Can of Holding
>it's full of angry mutant vampire badgers
>also hfw
>we're all dead, Dave

Shit was _SO_ cash.

>>14137971
>Canned Dragonfire

You sure opened a can of whup-ass.

>Playing SCIENCE with a defensive Industry deck
>Opponent plays economy to keep up
>Filling my Agendas like crazy
>Suddenly politics play, starts dropping military Assets
>My resources get destroyed
>My deck is depleted
>He won SCIENCE by declaring war

Didn't see that one coming

>Playing a Battle Cleric with sweet armor, 17 ranks in absorb damage, and a hand full of healing cards
>Everything is going great so far
>That Guy, who min-maxed anti-life, somehow gets an Energy Blade
> mfw

>>14137886
If you're unhappy with the latest few editions and want to go back to a game that plays more like 12th, can I suggest Stationcraft?

It includes almost everything from 12th up to the Uptownshire errata, but most of the cheeses from the Market Street expansion have been curbed. And everything's been rebalanced with input from the designer's of the Geneva ISO game.

>playing Sandwich Spread Fantasy
>party consists of PB&J, Honey, and Butter
>new guy joins campaign
>his spread is a multiclass garlic/basil/oil/nut/cheese minmaxed abomination that uses the Mediterranean expansion (came out after we started the campaign), calls it pesto
>GM allows it
>our faces when he singlehandedly outshines the rest of the group in every encounter

>Playing Scrollhammer
>Playan House Dagoth
>Other guy playing Daedra/Azura list
>ASH VAMPIRAN, BLIGHT TEMPLATAN, LOOTED DWEMER ROBOTAN
>Opponent plays Nerevarine Prophecy
>MFW

>>14138000
I FUCKING LOVE STATIONCRAFT!

We just got into it, I even bought a dozen 15 sided dice for it. After one adventure our GM banned me from ever playing a mustachemancer again.

>roll up sasquatch cyborg
>take enhanced camouflage perk to offset perception penalties for sasquatch and improved component quality for more damage
>in final fight with the BBEG
>entire party gets shit-canned by BBEG's subpoena beam and entropy grenades
>down to me
>go into cyborg rage
>RIP AND TEAR YOUR HARDWARE!
>DM makes secret rolls behind screen, says the BBEG dodges my initial onslaught with my +8 adamantine war-guitar of matrix-bending
>BBEG pulls EMP grenade out of nowhere and shoves it into expansion port WHILE FUCKING DODGING
>DM thinks he has me by the balls
>roll to reroute power from expansion port
>natural 20
>reroute EMP blast through mouth
>roll to emit sonic screech at the same time
>ANOTHER FUCKING NATURAL 20
>BBEG's cyber-brain explodes in a flash of purple blood
>HELL YEAH MOTHERFUCKER!
>de-railroaded DM gives me death glare

>Delay making contract
>Use occult to find out other bargains
>Get wish on alternative contract
>The other players faces were priceless

>friend rolls ham sandwich
>other friend rolls a milkshake
>I roll a po' boy
>mfw I'm the only one who knew we were playing cajun tonight

>>14138052
Did you tie a damsel to the tracks at Mornington Crescent? The bonuses for twirling your mustache after that are pretty ridiculous, yeah.

>>14138037
>>14138075

foodmind brofist

>roll up Chaos Spreader Mountain Giant with Greatclub, Wrestling and Fisticuffs specialties
>rest of party rolls up Pacifist Shrews without any combat specialities
>MFW every time they try to stop me from spreading destruction and chaos

>>14138061
... That is the single most metal thing I have seen on /tg/ in ages. I... I just...

PUT YOUR FIST TO THE SCREEN MOTHERFUCKER

>>14137937
The best part is where Infinity Hips lets you combo your Luchador's Pimp Skills with the Clown Wizard's spells. It gets insane when you can Supreme Beam of Hair a guy and also slap the Enamoured effect on him too

>>14138092

Fuck yeah. I'd recommend taking a look at SSF if you haven't yet, though.

Original thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/6854910/

>Playing as a level 3 brawler with origin: Pilot
>Get stuck in snowstorm
>Plane crashes
>Me and party head out to gather food
>SMASHCRACKTHUMP
>OH SHIT A WENDIGO
>FUUUUUUUUUCK OH GOD MY SPINE
I made the mistake of fighting that thing, turns out the idea was to run from it till we saw the nearby town...
Of course our fucking Seer just mumbles a few words under his breath and summons wolves to his aid and stabs it in the heart.
FUCKING SEERS AND THEIR BULLSHIT.

>>14138000
>>14138052
>>Stationcraft
>>d15
>>mfw
You guys are ruining Gaming these days.

>playing STMEIN 3rd
>roll rigger, Wit 6 FTW and a funky 3 in both Charm and Physique
>specs in juryrigging(What did ya expect? Longterm?)
>GM rules that JR goes on LOGIC IN THE MIDDLE OF A BATTLE
>needless to say, as a JR, I have a 2 in Logic...
>fuckthisshitimoutofhere.jpg

The GM did call me after the session was over and apologised. Seems he looked it up in the NON-ERRATED 3rd ed. Honest mistake, but still
>mfw

>Mornington Crescent
>players never get over this
>implying I haven't played editions before 10th
>mfw

>>14138137
oh, and I suppose you and your D25 variant are so much better, right? You don't even have a ruleset for encounters within a 50-station radius of liverpool.

GB2 stations & subways

>playing a destiny sunbeam build in a tourney
>in the final, this faggot switches decks for a nightblade assault build
>Lose because the judges didn't ban this shit
>down $500

>playing Prophets and Gods
>DM insists I play the little boy
>shrug
>take 50 schizo points to put in leadership and warfare
>spirit bomb enemy troops
>God HIMSELF drives his '64 charger next to my steed
>3 natural trinities in a row
>backhand Zoroaster and the Gnostics back to the nomdadic lifestyle with
>DM has Pope Stalin put out order for my execution for heresy
>the Order of Pederastic Priests follow me wherever I go
>mfw

>Bring army to a tourney
>Make it to finals
>Specced for Wild Thought
>Opponent fields Infinite Seven
>Peanut
>Both armies lose their shit
>Infinite Seven secret weapon
>A live bear
>Have to pour the marker
>Two feet a turn
>Roll a 20
>Flip rotation, hit the bear
>Bear takes a nap
>Infinite Seven player has play defensively so he doesn't wake up the bear
>Mornington Crescent
>Knocks the chilly out of the furnace
>Peanut
>My friend Dave knocks everything off the table and starts break-dancing
>I win

And the Infinite Seven player had NOTHING RED, before anyone starts bitching about Wild Thought being overpowered.

>field 2000 points of household appliances
>At first opponent is putting down a normal force of Office supplies
>Suddenly brings 4th dimensional thinking-plasticard to the table

Fucking power gamers.

>Go to the local game-store to play some Colour.
>Start playing against a little kid
>I play Red, thinking I am going to win
>He declares a Mornington Crescent and rolls a natural 51
>He plays Yellow
>DAT FUCKING ORANGE

My face

>Playing in a cooperative PPEK tourney with my friend
>Playing as a Ruby Warrior, while my best friend is backing me up as a Psycho-Slasher
>Enemy team turns out to be a Filthmancer with a Dragon Sage as his healer.

>mfw

>>14138286
Oh look another Wild Thought vs Infinite Seven final. The power creep is incredible, I play Ancient Fungi for 6 years, and haven't won a single tournament since the 4th edition came out. Fuck the new ritual resolution rules. How are we supposed to disturb the rituals without ANY fast deacons?

>playing Soccer Wars
>roll up a 1st level midfielder
>Team Manager gives us our first encounter
>opposition includes Zinedine Zidane, Rio Ferdinand, David Beckham & George Fucking Best
>mfw
You don't start off a campaign by immediately pitting the players against something way above their skill level, that's horseshit!

>>14138352
>>14138352
Seriously!

Why did they even make that legal! Everyone knows you can belt infinite damage in a single turn with that pairing!

>>14138362
I've been playing Wild Thought for a few years, and I'll tell you, my rituals get royally fucked anytime anyone throws down a time rift and sends their units back in time a few turns.

Picture oh so fucking related.

>>14138335
I didn't know you could declare Mornington Crescent in Colour. Are those homebrew rules, or did I miss something with the last DLC?

>Playing action figures
>Roll up a lv1 Gundam pilot
>Take the genius feat so I can get my gundam earlier
>1st encounter HULK
...

>>14138446
Boy, does it ever suck to be you.

>>14138409
True, but Ancient Fungi can use time rift only if I have a double volcano and only with a deacon on a mana node. That's third-fourth turn if I'm lucky because of the slowass spore monarch. My encyclopedia is 3 years old, they didn't plan it with the stupid fast resolution rituals. Seriously, If they don't announce an update this year I'm switching to Antarctica Amazons.

>>14138437
It's actually there in the main game. But you can only use it when the opponent counters your counter by playing a colour that is featured on the judge's t-shirt, so it's not used that often.

>>14138468
I tough they banned these after the green top hat scandal during the Africa championship finals?

>>14138468
That game's fucking bollocks anyway. I mean, how the fuck are we supposed to accept that what they say is octarine is what it fucking looks like?

>>14138496
Wait, wait, wait... They did? Okay, I'm gonna beat the crap out of that kid when I see him next time. Taking my striped-red-white like that after he won...

>blow up enemy tank with a fireball
>draw card
>no way to lose game, at all
>enemy casts Summon Judge
>counter his spell, file lawsuit
>commander finishes him off with his flail

>>14138502
Yeah, I agree with you. Stupid James Dorkshop trying to rip of the gamers with that shit.

>>14138554
Is dat some Courtroom Battle?

>>14138579
Glad to see someone else plays a classic game of wit and law. And heavy mechanized tank divisions.

>Roll for band selection
>5 sixes
>Fuck yeah, roll for infection
>5 ones
>mfw

>Starting to play POW3R
>Decide to go with an ON deck
>Play with friends
>Go to LGS
>guy challenges me
>Has OFF deck
>With BlackOut Materioptikon Expansion
>ALL OF MY HATE

>>14138075
>Roll a Cheeseburger
>DMPC is a French Fry
>My face when

>Roll for "Move Army." Since it's more than 20km, I take a -5 penalty, but I really need to get to the enemy by nightfall.
>Roll a 20
>Then roll for "Put under siege."
>roll a 3
>Loss my entire fucking army.
>mfw

>fall from grace for killing an orphan
>it isn't tuesday
>gain 3 levels
>fail a metaknowledge check
>polymorphed into a bookshelf for eternity
>mfw our Techpriest uses me to bludgeon the evil marmot to death

>>14137513

>Roll max tribute embarking on new land quest
>Entire army but two men sacrifice themselves

>Roll on God Chart

>MFW sacrificed to Blood Worf

>Remaining two soldiers turn into Tusken Bombarios and take out the entire opposing army on their own.

>Finally reach Big Bad's Inner Sanctum
>Douche DM makes us roll for Modivation
>I'm the only one that stays on the good side of the alignment, the rest of the party turns evil
>mfw

I fucking hate modivation rolls.

>fighting an icosahedron
>low on rectangles
>reverse
>lol

>Epic sci-fi space opera setting
>Facing Farfignurgleton, ravager of stars
>Must defeat him within three turns, or else everyone on-planet dies
>Finally reaches me, last turn
>Roll against "Combat (Offensive Flower Arrangement)"
>Get 19 with modifiers
>He counters with "Active Defense (Ravioli Construct)", despite having no points in skill
>Cocky as hell, drinks are on me boys
>He gets natural twenty
>Entire star-system drowns beneath undercooked pasta
>mfw

>Go on a recrun to the local megacathedral for the landsknechts
>Herr Johann two-timed us
>Archbishop has a trap waiting
>I always spend a buttload of points getting old blueprints before every mission.
>make a roll
>Natural. Fucking. 00.
>CM declares "You recall a secret hidden passageway just under your feet."
>Take out 30 high-level Templar SGs in narrow corridors with crossbow
>emerge blocks away
>drop blackpowder keg into exit, light fuse
>run like hell
At that point we strolled back into the Company office, requested to see Herr Johann, and shot him in the face.
The next session the Archbishop was looking for replacement guards to replace the ones we blew up.

>in the anti-ordinance(missile/torp/seeker) phase of RFS
>Play Torpedo Spread from my hand
>he counters with Wild Screen
>FUCK, Power gen goes critical
>Lose initiative phase
>He activates radar, wins power roll
>Finds railway, I drop a Supply Rupture to stop his rearm
>He reveals ten fucking engines
>MORNINGTON CRESCENT

GODDAMNIT.

>> clear half a quarantined city of undead with only one squad
>> save over 1 million skill points
>> go to spend it all on 'Lone Wolf' skill
>> see 'Pot Luck' skill teasing me
>> blow 1 million skill points on 'Pot Luck'
>> dial spins, come on godly mode
>> lands on 'Psychotic Cannibal'
>> lose control of character
>> kill and eat squad
>> eat zombies while they eat me
>> mfw

>Tourney
>Lineup consists of 16 Infinite Seven Players, 3 Wild Thoughts and my Marblehounds
>avoid every Mornington Crescent through crazy double rotation flip combos
>manage to phase out most peanuts
>make it to finals
>enemy is Infinite Seven
>roll 2 threes on doubledog combos to block his charges
>ITSFUCKINGONNOW.jpg
>its my last chance
>fail 2 rolls
>fail phasing out peanut
>MORNINGTON CRESCENT

>mfw everyone is butthurt over Mornington Crescent

>>14138899
>implying Lone Wolf is any different from Psychotic Cannibal

>>14138907

>marblehounds
>still plays double rotation flip combos

laughinggirls.jpg

But seriously, theres not much you can do with marblehounds right now. Go for Tricolon if you must, maybe support it with some defensive rituals.
The combos just arent reliable enough anymore.

>>14138999


Tricolon?

So I'm supposed to just wait for his Loomeys to pop up and finish me? Pff.

>>14138986
Seriously, how fucking dense do you have to be to not understand that Lone Wolf is dice rolled with the left hand while Psychotic Cannibal is dice rolled with the right hand. EVERYONE KNOWS DICE FROM THE LEFT HAND HAS A HIGHER CRIT RATE.
I hope next time you encounter a Dire Lyanderquiff you fail your anal spot check.

>save up 36.5 electro points for the "overclock: out of spec" feat
>have been saving up for several cycles, my character is ridiculously behind everyone else
>finally buy it, and am now ahead of the curve
>DM declares new operating system is in effect, rendering my bios meaningless
>my
>face
>when

>GM called Mornington Crescent
>my turn first
>I immediately called Mornington Crescent
>stupid game was over

>opponent plays Charge The FTL Spools
>He grins seven ways to mars thinking he has a open road to my home system.
>I drop a Deep Cover Saboteur on his ass, popping his FTL spools
>He rages hard as I tap all my remaining suns and factories and play Dyson Sphere with attached Fleet Hangar on my turn.

I crushed him the turn after that. Dyson Sphere with attached Fleet Hangar is a pretty powerful combo. Anyone else got any such combos to share?

>>14139031
Despite being fictitious, this seriously sounds fun.

>>14138999

I dunno, I've had fair success with marblehounds, so long as I have some infiltrators handy too. Put the rest of your points into shield rituals and you're golden.

>playing Murphy's Law
>I decide to be the Faulty Toaster
>GM says he homeruled it out of the playable appliances
>another player gets to play the Unsteady Kitchen Table whereas we're not played 5th edition anymore

I HATE GM'S PETS.

>>14139055

That it does.
Fiction on /tg/--inspiration for reality!

>>14139082

Fuck this shit. I hope you went out and punctured their tyres.

> WW2 game
> play as leaders during the war
> pick Hitler
> game starts 29th April 1945
> order pizza
> Mussolini never arrives

>>14138714
>play this game for 86 cycles with dad
>dad is pro but I still beat him every cycle
>destroy local tourneys with my illatium sword and dergensher hulk combo
>teach sister to play so she'll shut up
>she chooses Quantium faery prince (so soo gay)
>turn 1 she crushes my illatium sword and my backup filissian bone knife.
>turn 2 she slays my dergensher hulk with her god damn baby qiantian burgle pup
mfw I lost my top ranking on inplsion because my rank is now 86 and 1 due to a god damn baby qiantian burgle pup and a cock sucking Quantium faery prince.

>>14139044
I've had a lot of success with the Merchant Trader with attached Anti-Matter Warhead and Remote Detonator combo.

It's a pricey combo but if you can sneak some in behind the enemy lines the opponent is just about fragged. I love the mechanic behind the Merchant Trader. Off course it's not really meant to deliver anything else than trade goods but it can fool any player who doesn't ask what goods you are trading.

>>14139190
What did you expect, you taught her to play.

>>14139196
But what if the opponent has a Quantum Signal Jammer on hand? or a Deep Cover Saboteur?
Is it worth the risk?

>mfw I use the W.A.A.A.G.H. on a lawful neutral settlement

>>14139295
>Using the W.A.A.A.G.H.
Wow, you look like a real asshole!

>play a Plink Feeder 4/Becker 2
>pals play pure Theotic Mauler and Forerunner 3/Junker 3
>traveling from Haddegrash to Beogreth by heated toadship
>Someone lets the exotic animals the toadship is transporting loose.
>IT'S A FUCKING GNARLGHAST!
>battle is joined and epic fight scene ends with me getting my face ripped off and the Theotic Mauler suplexes the Gnarlghast overboard with mearly 2 Vitae pearls left.

The Storymaster later told us that he hadn't planned for us to survive that encounter with our entrails intact.

>roll up a 3rd level Jungle Boy with Jumping Pants and Blackjack
>fucking powergaming newfag rolls up a 3rd Level Meteomancer and dumps all of his points into Improved Gusting
>fucking powergaming newfag puts out oil fire lake with modded roll of 59
>fucking powergaming newfag gets 10,000 year old key
>mfw he has Level 8 Anti-Pig Armor Pants and Grand Blackjack off the fucking bat

I swear to god if they don't errata the fucking Improved Gusting faggotry there will be blood

>playing J.U.N.K.E.R
>put all my points into scrap
>my face try to counter this by using electromagnets
>too much mass baby!
>my face as their electromagnets get drawn into MY PILE due to the sheer mass of it

>>14139699

You. I love you. Forever.

No one played that game. NO ONE.

>take minimal choices for maximum mobility
>lead opponent play full clunkers on wild chase aroun field
>lead him into oncoming derpstorm
>he rolls maximum derp
>mfw the dolphins rape him

>roll Thinkmancer
>take 'Pluralist' chain to help party
>That Guy rolls a Dogmatist with tons of training points sunk into Adamance and Spell Hole.
>constantly wastes Insistence trying to outdo me at everything
>TPKO versus 3 Alabaster Quips
>MFW

>>14139712

I thought I was the only person.

I just finished a nostalgia replay last night.

>come to a fiddle-faddle tournament
>built a truely collosal army, mostly fiddle, a little faddle, but the lack of faddle is covered by my screw heavy deck.
>as soon as I've paid my faddlers fee into the pot I'm informed by the prime judge that the Toulerman's rules are in effect for matches with players who's birthday's are prime numbers
>I'm 23 today
>Toulerman's rules prevent hypervents being played in circumventative turns
>all my screws are now points
>my face when my entire faddle is flopped because it's my birthday

>>14139908
>forgot pic

>GMing
>Say I only want core material
>Player wants to play a Pipoko Technician from the Alien Archives Book
>I tell them again only core shit
>They say they'll play a Ameriak then
>Player fucking uses the Pipoko stats, and says their character was raised among Pipoko
>Divine Lightning up in this bitch

>playing Dolphin Disaster
>thatguy wants to roll a shark, DM lets him
>everyone else rolls dolphin
>thatguy kills me while devouring tuna
>roll up a sperm whale and beat the fuck out of him
>his face when

>mfw so many newfags getting upset about Mornington Crescents

Bitch please, I fought against Lord Inglip, he pulled a Mornington Crescent, and I still kicked his ass

>go to local fluffy tournament with Makers of Colot, purposely left out my two squads of Hell-Kickers and full squad of Tornado Monsters in favor of bare units of Monster Tamers to keep with the spirit of tournament
>every other player is either Rising Reds with full-mech and two god damn Cyborg War Hydras or Stone Myths with three units of Bearers and a Warping Power Node
>mfw I win on pure composition score

>farm sim 09 tabletop conversion
>faggot drives harvester to other PC's farm and harvests all his crops
>we chase him, but he outruns us with the crops
>gets lost for six hours
and not a single fuck was given that day

>>14139938

>>14140028

how the fuck did he get you alone?

dolphone squads can totally beat off a lone shark.

>>14140061
Ye be daft?
>Fiddle-faddle Prime 23 means you get Screws to only effect you.
Your screws screw you

>Playing Metagame: The DoubleMeta
>My character draws a Fuck card that changes all Fuck cards into Stability cards.
>Another player has his character roll for his rolling of the drawing from the Time deck, rolls two 6s; draws the Fling into Past card, making my Fuck card active as of two turns ago.
>Paradox throws the game into an alternative universe where we are now playing Metametagame: The QuadMeta
>Now every turn I take has to be reiterated four times across four characters, one of which is myself.
>I botch some rolls, preventing me from drawing the Fuck card in the first place.
>Great, now we're playing MetaMetaMetaGame: Too Much Meta
Then we got pizza WITHOUT ROLLING FOR IT.
That was a treat.

>Playing Science: the Hypothesis
>Playing with old school Newtonian Physics deck
>Fucker comes in with Theoretical Physics
>HIGGS-BOSON EVERYWHERE

I hate this new set.

>>14140110
I never liked MG:DM (oMG was okay).
Once you get into the 3rd iteration of Meta you might as well throw away all your things or else hire a team of specialists to help you out with that rules-heavy clusterfuck.

>playing Stone Soup Tabletop
>roll a Demonspawn Necromancer
>friend rolls Berserker of Trog
>DM says "Something hits you. Something hits you. Something hits you. Something hits you. Something hits you. Something hits you. You die."

>>14140142
guess you haven't payed agaisnt a fucker with a Quantum Theory deck yet.

fuck that game was all kinds of fucked up. Einstein-Padolsky-Rosen this and Schrödinger that. The whole game ended with us both being both the winner and the loser until a judge came over, looked at the cards on the table and declared the guy with the Quantum Theory deck the winner.

So I'm playing with my friends, a couple of fairly new people, and two others are experienced like me. Experience guys roll a Chefmancer and a Pugilist, taking care of our offensive spellcasting needs. Newbies go for a Field-Promotion Jamba-Junkie, which is some good ranged combat, but not too tricky to figure out, and a Knight of the Unholy Abomination, who can tank for our sorry squad. Pretty well-rounded group, so I decide to go crazy and roll up a Surgical Advisor, you know, that healling class from Advanced Medical Dramas? Healling only, no Diagnosing magic or Treage skills for combat.

After a few months, we finally get to the BBEG, The Pugilist and Jamba-Junkie get decimated by some area spells, leaving only me, the Knight, and the Chefmancer. Chefmancer tries to cast a flambé, crit failure. Knight rolls to try and summon the ire of things unknown with the failure, crit success. Roll on random summons, a fucking Wuthering Dragon. Proceeds to fuck up the BBEG for a while while I'm busy stabalizing the others. Round before I've got them up, BBEG pulls a Vial of Unforseen Consequences out of nowhere, Wuthering Dragon goes rogue, kills the Knight straight out. Chefmancer gets knocked into unconsciousness locking it into a Pastry Prison.

Me and the BBEG are the only ones left. He comes at me, I barely dodge. Say fuck it, attack with my scalpel. Crit succes. Roll to confirm, crit success. Roll a d7 for critical outcome? Mornington Fucking Crescent. Yeah,. the BBEG is dead, but my character's an Aussie, so the party is left to bleed out while I'm fucking around trying to figure out the timeschedule.

>>14140142
Three Letters my friend that will win you S:tH
>L
>H
>C
Large Hadron Collider

>>14140199
yeah the new Quantum Theory decks are kinda overpowered. But there are a few tricks to beat 'em.
Multiverse theory is one trick that will sink a QT deck pretty fast.
Schrödinger's Cat experiment can work as both a good defense fot QT deck and a good attack against them. It's kinda like a double-edged sword that card..

>>14140396
>opponent plays Quantum Immortality to counter loss of life
>triggered hidden Dimension Lock
>hfw

>>14140216
>implying LHC is even remotely playable

With a resource cost that high? you must be fucking joking. not to mention that "delay for 6 months" turn it gets if someone so much as even looks at him funny.

anyways
>playing a science the hypothesis game
>opponent playing a quantum heavy deck, everything's in superpositions
>calmly walk over to his side of the table
>pick up each one of the cards slowly in turn and read them
>they have now been observed and collapse
>victory.

>>14140958
all you need to do Is play Theoretical meta science cards like Quantum leap and Einstein's Bus vision. Seriously. Time hop and Resources replication.

>Surround the enemy
>Time leaps
>Fails the roll, lost in the timestream for three rounds
>I time leap with Mentalist
>Succeed on roll, get in position two rounds before him
>Instead of just setting an ambush, I ready Alter Vision
>Emerges from the Time Stream
>Alter Vision triggers
>Now sees my Mentalist as his past self and vice versa
>Kills his past self
>hfw Paradox

>>14141058
>Not having a Lane Blocker with Timestream spec

You could have done it so much faster.
Even worse,

>Your enemy not having a Stream Stabilizer and Enhanced Auspex

That's just retarded.

>this whooooole thread

it's....beautiful
archive?

Enough of this S:tH crap.

Let's get a Philosopher Battle discussion going on in here.

>playing a strict Kantian deck versus a Rebellious Pseudo-Intellectual deck in a tourney
>fucker just got me with a fucking Nihilism/Avant-Garde Short Film combo
>hfw I pull out my Good Will/Noumenal combo

>>14141123
The Stabilizer doesn't do shit, since anyone with half a brain equips every single unit with Focus Disruptors or just Disruptor Nades. Agreed on E. Auspex, though.

>Roll up a Necropriest
>put all my points into Divinities: Null and Firearms: Rifles
>Motherfucking blackhole sniper up in this bitch
>First mission, lean out of starcruiser to shoot an apparently derelict cargo ship
>Triggers a planet creator on board, I'm hit with a nexus flux level A, destroyed in seconds
>Me: Alright, that's how you want to play it, GM, that's how we're going to play it
>Roll up a Plague spreader with all my points in my plague so I could get Energy: All for it
>Release it on the planet that destroyed my last character
>The planet is completely destroyed, the plague reaches the machine-core
>The thing is powered by fucking ANTI-MATTER, killed instantly
>Me: FINE
>Null Monk of the Far Nebula
>Drop onto the anti-matter, absorb it without even fucking rolling
>Suddenly, a Chronomancer comes along
>Hits me with a time flux
>mfw when I'm EATEN BY MY OWN FUCKING PLAGUE

Left that group that exact moment.

>playing 4th dimensional chess
>player keeps attacking into the past, leaving his future wide open
>capitalise and get him into check
>just as I manage this he wipes out my queen in the past
>hundreds of his pieces reappear at the same time IN A PERFECT SET UP TO CHECKMATE ME IN RESPONSE.

I ain't even mad. I'm just impressed.

>>14138037

>mfw this game isn't real.

>>14141168

Fuck yeah another PB player. I rock a Scholasticism build myself. Bitches don't know 'bout my Summa Theological.

>>14141261

That shit gets real nasty mid-game. Especially if you're playing a Complex Philosophy with a relatively elite influence. Time it right and you can get the guy to basically just start handing your his Influence and Academies over to you.

>>14141204
that, sir, is a classical move known as the "Just As Planned" maneuver, Tzeenche's Gambit or just plain CREEEEEEEEED!

>Playing Future Science Animals
>Warferretan all day err day
>DM is a complete bro
>Clearing a building of rape-clowns and their space badgers
>Hear weeping and ecstatic honking noise
>Roll Perception with Ferret Nose modifier
>Nat 20 + 5
>I can tell the exact spot of the clown, down to the inch
>Another player, an Albatross-Worm, uses his Drilldo with the lexan wall-buster to snipe the clown
>THROUGH THE FUCKING WALL
>We charge in the room to save the victim
>Turns out it's a Wankbeaver and he's pissed RIGHT the fuck off
>It casts "Summon Omega Badger," DM does secret roll
>19
>Seven foot badger with power claws drops through the ceiling
>The room is maybe nine feet wide
>DM's face

> Playing Scholars and Sculptors
> Roll a Inventor
> not a fucking ducat or florin to my name
> MFW RM says I have to roll patron
> Still MFW when it's a Borgia

People need to stop bitching about the addition of Mornington Crescents in 7e. This is just like the Godseers with 6e, and the Athletes in 5e (Though athletes were fucking awful). God, why can't some people just accept the changes Green Games of the Coast are making? I mean, it's not like it's hard to homebrew everything that people have complaints with

>playing Minecraft Tabletop
>I'm almost done making craft checks on an iron sword, my bro is fortifying us with a cobblestone wall
>didn't buy enough torches at the merchant ship to afford light level 11
>GM rolls a 2 on monster generation. FUCK.
>a fucking creeper pops up inside of our territory
>kills me, destroys the entire east side of our fortress
>GM's face

>Playing Maths: the Occultancy
>rolled up a Divine Occultant, specialising in thaumathurgy, rest of the party are Pythagorean Occultant (played by a guy still stuck in 1e, though Pythagoreans have got some nice boosts lately), Fiscal Occultant (total bro, always seems to pick characters designed to make tons of cash so that he can outfit the entire party) and an Accel Occultant specialising in motorbikes (played by a girl who's an old friend of the Pythagorean, pretty dependable, if a bit meme obsessed)
>EM throws a bunch of Distortions at us lead by Distortion powered humans
>Accel takes on most of the Distortions ripping up the city whilst Fiscal drains the empowered humans dry
>Humans reveal location of BBEG, who turns out to be part human, part Distortion
>BBEG is about halfway through Euclidean Ritual: Final Digit of Pi
>Me and Pythagorean say "fuck this", combine powers to drop a grand total of 24dπ random Heavy objects on him, EM threw in a kitchen sink for free
>"He should go to the doctor, he looks like he's got... Pi-les."

I'm now banned from making both maths AND medical puns because of that one.

>Desperate Intelligences 2.0
>Playing Rogue AI
>Infiltrate a ship
>Suddenly annelids, annelids everywhere
>Recruit 2 badass minions
>Dance puppets dance
>Lay a trap for the enemy AI, roll 3 sixes
>He rolls snake eyes for his firewall save
>Primary dataloop compromised
>Not a single fuck was given
>Hunt down the annelids and massacre their children
>mfw

>Science The Hypothesis
>Bring casual Physics time experiments deck
>Face Geography global warming control deck
>Half my resources tapped from turn 4, deck getting depleted
>Double volcanic eruption, counter with Ramachandran's Paradox, draw cards
>Double Einstein's Time Loop
>Lock his Agendas
>Get milled since I have no resources

Geography isn't supposed to be so fast, dammit. Who thought it was a good idea to give them global warming?

>>14141801

Well it was either them or Meteorologists, and Global Warming kinda fucks up their style, what with it confusing global weather patterns.

>>14141801

Ever since they released the Al Gore pack Geography has been fucking up everyone's shit =/

I personally have the most trouble with douchebags bringing out their unofficial decks like the god damned Intelligent Design faggotry. I swear to god, if I get stonewalled due to lack of resources by another eternal God Did It and Ignorant Rambling combo I'm going to flip my shit.

> Going along with my 4th level Heavy Warrior
> Suddenly 10th level 'mid-bosses' appear!
> Collective WTF faces
> One series of lucky rolls later
> Manage to kill the bastards
> DM DECLARES FUCKING MORNINGTON CRESCENT!
> TPK & DM wants the sheets
> Guy next to me decks the DM in the fucking face
> My fucking face

>>14141801
Should have gone the Nanomoachine combo win button. Convert their labs and resources. Convert their everything! Ever seen a grown man cry over a card game?

>Playing Bears!
>Koala Swarm class
>DM wants me to roll Resist Urges
>Fail roll
>Murder half of Chicago
>wat

mfw

GG, all. Better luck next time.

Everyone one of you bitching about Mornington Crescent need to get this damn book. I don't even have to read it any more, I just pull it out and the DM knows he fucked up.

Don't let your DM get his hands on it though or not even two fucking hundred unpredictability malachite can save you.

>Playing Cyberomancer: DOS2 Beta
>I play as native AI
>Encounter advanced Turing encryption
>Thought I'd see another native AI to proliferate information with
>Turns out it's an active maze virus with Turing encryption decoy placed by the Government player
>Roll for brute force cracking the maze virus
>Natural 20
>Not only I escaped the maze virus, I accidentally scanned their nuke codes while escaping

Hell fuck year.

archive this shit