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Rogue Trader greentext Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:04 No.14332793

Greentext Rogue Trader stories GO!

A friend's Rogue Trader character, a sharpshooter sniper named Mr. Radcliffe, convinced my ork to stand still with a box on his head.

> Sharpshooter runs down a hall and draws his gun.
> My ork sees this.
> Ork draws his shoota.
> "Hm." Mr. Radcliffe hums, "It seems we're at a standoff."
> "If yew even fink about shootin' me, I'mma come over dere an krump you 'arder dan a grot under a stompa's foot."
> "I wasn't going to shoot you, Ork. I was going to shoot the target off your head."
> Ork thinks about this for a second.
> I allow Sharpshooter's player to roll a fellowship test to convince me that he won't hit me.
> "I'm a very good shot, Ork. You've seen me."
> I have, actually. He is good.
> He convinces me. "Awroight, but if yew miss... I swar by Gork I will 'ave yer head on a pointy stik. Oy don't 'ave a pointy stik yet but I kin find one eazy."
> Sharpshooter fires. The dice hit the table. His ballistic skill is 57.
> He rolls a 94.
> DM looks at me, "The bullet hits you in the face." * DM Rolls for damage...* "... God damnit, no damage to the ork."
> MFW I glare at Sharpshooter's player and suddenly launch into this huge tirade of orky insults.
> I still can't remember half of them.
> Ork starts chasing Sharpshooter all over the ship and continue screaming orky insults.
> "What's your run speed, anon?" Sharpshooter's player asks me.
> 24.
> His is also 24.
> Since we can neither outrun nor overtake one another, DM starts playing Benny Hill music.

And before you ask, yeah. My ork has a name, but none of the players have bothered to ask, so they all just call me Ork.

>>	Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:09 No.14332859 File1300846196.jpg-(25 KB, 216x282, WOT_DA_ZOG.jpg) Da zog, no one plays Rogue trader here?

>>	Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 03/22/11(Tue)22:12 No.14332891 >>14332859 I do, but I just woke up from a rather wonderful nap, and don't feel like greentexting the most recent session, when my group went to the Black Library.

Saavedra 03/22/11(Tue)22:14 No.14332924
File1300846440.jpg-(23 KB, 296x296, FONZ.jpg)

>>14332859
To be honest it's kinda late and /tg/ is a slow board. Don't worry, we ARE reading and PROCESING your post, and it'll get answered.
Just...lemme have a few hours of sleep first, i'm bloody tired
Also, >Genuinely cool story bro.

>>	Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:14 No.14332931 >>14332891 I am kinda jealous of the adventures of your group in Commoragh. Did the Rogue Trader die in the meantime actually?

>>	Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:16 No.14332964 And I also confirm that the OP story is indeed very nice

>>	Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:16 No.14332965 That's hilarious, OP. What happened after that?

>>	Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:17 No.14332968 >>14332793 Awesome

>>	Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:17 No.14332975 File1300846665.png-(36 KB, 150x219, .....png) >>14332891 Then don't green text it. >>14332924 Oy, da fonz. Wot yew doin' 'ere. If dis doesn't pick up, I'll try again tomorra. >>14332891 ... Wait. The black library. Da frag?

>>	Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:19 No.14332989 >>14332793 >Ag is 24 for both ...Wow. I can understand the Ork making it his dump stat since he's tough and can eat wounds like nobody's business, but why's the sniper character so slow?

Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:20 No.14333004
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Setting the stage.

My character, a missionary. Our RT is currently suffering from some IP fallout and has a very short temper.

>Self-important doorkeeper won't allow us access to the local underhive gang boss.
>No one gets in to see the great Oz, not nobody not no how!
>RT: "That's it, I'm gonna shoot this upstart bastard in the face!
>Me: Hold a second, Lord Captain.
>Me: GM, I knock on the door again.
>GM: The peepslide opens, he's looking at you with the same sense of disdain.
>Me: Won't you please reconsider, sir, for the good of your soul?
>Guard: "No body gets in to see th..."
>Me: I poke the discharge tip of my power maul into his face. It's on low setting so it's essentially a shock prod.
>GM: ...okay, roll it
>Rollan, success!
>Door guard folds like the Flash on laundry day.
>RT and retinue: "Dammit, now we're going to have to fight our way in there!"
>Me: *as the other guards muster to see why their comrade just collapsed* "WITNESS LOYAL SOULS OF THE IMPERIUM, WITNESS THE PERFIDY THAT PREVENTING THE WORK OF HIS MOST GLORIOUS MAJESTY'S HOLY SERVANTS BRINGS!"
>Me: *to new guard looking through grating* "You! What was that one's name?"
>Him: "Ummm...Whill"
>Me: Will you allow us entry to continue upon our holy work, or shall we discourse somewhat more on the follies of William the foolhardy? *shock prod crackles*
>Guard: "Go right ahead sir."

>mfw

Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:26 No.14333080

>>14332989
Well, if someone sees the sniper, he already failed.

>>14332975
>... Wait. The black library. Da frag?
See also >>14332931 The Rogue Trader promised a Dark Eldar a favour, to be stated by the Dark Eldar at any moment he wants. Not that ANYTHING could go awry here. As the RT ship was fleeing from half a galaxy once again, they met the DE again, and he offered to them to take them to a safe place to fulfil the promised favour. Well, it came out the safe place was Commoragh and the favour was killing most of the enemies of the DE. Hilarity supposedly ensued.

Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:26 No.14333081
File1300847195.png-(45 KB, 269x175, wat.png)

>>14332989
> MFW

Yew stupid git, da sharpshoota asked me fer me run speed, not me AG stat.

>>14332965

After dat? Err... well.

>Three days later, Ork is still chasing the sharpshooter around the ship.
> They both stop to take a break because we're tired of running around and not getting anywhere.
> So we decide to sit down together for lunch.
> We both have tea with our lunch. He has meatloaf.
> I eat a squig sandwich that was in me pocket.

Dat wuz it really. Oy 'ad ta stay on da krooza cuz da kapin' was goin ta a forge world an dey didn't want me along.

I unnerstan' 'avin an ork in yer krew kin be a bit too much fer some 'umies, hurhur.

Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:32 No.14333133
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>>14333081

That's not actually how it works. Here's a friendly abstraction of the chase rules.

Basically, you can still catch and/or escape from someone with equal speed. You just need to make some tests.

Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:32 No.14333140
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This is a DH game that's eventually going into RT territory, but I am kind of enjoying this.
>>players, after having been set up several times, start getting serious about being investigators. they actually do a halfway decent job.
>>make several important connections and manage to convince their inquisitor that they are not just fucking around and have a solid link on this tyrant star bullshit.
>>mfw they still haven't realized that their crucial friendly rogue trader ally's name is an anagram for 'haarlock'.

>>	Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:37 No.14333204 >>14333140 Please tell me his name is Kcolraah, please!

Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:40 No.14333226
File1300848019.png-(96 KB, 295x317, grin.png)

>>14333133
We didn't really care. We knew, but it was funnier if we did it through pure narration rather than rolling.

Also, Benny Hill, yew git.

>>14332965

Err. actually wait, dere was a bit more.

> As we're eating, Ork looks over to the sharpshooter, "Wot were we runnin around fer again? Oy ferget."
> Mr. Radcliffe looks anxious for a moment, "Err... We were chasing your pet squig."
> "No. No, oy wuz chasin' yew cuz yew shot me in da face, YA ONE EYED GIT."
> Mr. Radcliffe immediately stands to start running away.
> "Ahh sit yer arse down. Oy dun give arf a frag about it anymore."
> We eat again. A minute of awkward silence.
> "Yew know." Oy sez as oy chew me squig sammich, "Oy get ta tell yew from 'ere on out dat yew shoot like an ork. An I know yew 'umies, wot wif yer fancy dakka an fings moight take dat fer an insult..."
> Sharpshooter's player looks at me, he is clearly insulted, I continue with a grin.
> MFW I say, "But we kin fix dat wif moar dakka on yer shoota an yewd be shooty proper, eh? Hur hur!"
> Our Rogue Trader says, "You have been simultaneously insulted and complimented by an ork! Haha!"
> Sharpshooter's player is confused, "...I have. I... I don't... know how to react to that."

Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 03/22/11(Tue)22:41 No.14333241

>>14332931

Yes, the Rogue Trader died in the black library, and had to burn his last fate.

He met Force Weapon from a Chaos Sorceror who teleported in.

That sorceror was just as confused as the rest of the party. He didn't even want to be there. He was just trying to go to Chaos Wal-mart for food for the annual Eye of Terror Barbecue. A complete accident.

Overall, the Rogue Trader still does not realize charging is dangerous, because they get their multiple attacks, and the charger doesn't.

That said, regarding multiple attacks, does a staff count as one weapon or two weapons in close combat?

>>	Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:46 No.14333298 >>14333241 Cool, so the idiot probably dies next time. And regarding the staff: I think it counts as one weapon, but I don't know a lot about the rules.

Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:48 No.14333321

An intriguing variant to try would be a "rags-to-riches" Rogue Trader campaign. That is, the players start out with a crew of poor craftsmanship servitors and a transport that is so bare and ruined that it should have gone to the wrecking heap, but was given to them instead as a "gift". The Lord-Captain (if you can call him that without smirking) is a piss-broke bottom-of-the-heap nobody who won the Warrant in a bet from an aging failed Rogue Trader with no ship.

The players start at Dark Heresy level (dreg, conscript, archivist, initiate, and other humble roles) and must use their limited resources to build up a lasting dynasty of their own.

Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 03/22/11(Tue)22:49 No.14333329
File1300848547.jpg-(44 KB, 320x435, Troll Trader.jpg)

>>14333298

He pulled rank to get an Eldar Force Shield that was gifted to the group as thanks for the Harlequins. Now he thinks he's invincible.

>mon visage quand Warscythes next session

That said, I could put up the full stories from when they were in Commorragh and the Black Library, but there will be a fair bit of wait between Black Library story updates.

>>	Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 03/22/11(Tue)22:50 No.14333335 >>14333321 My group started with nothing but an Arvus Lighter, and stole a ship from an Inquisitorial station first session. Thus starting the tantrum spiral.

>>	Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:52 No.14333359 >>14333329 I would be very happy to hear the Commoragh stories. And what happened afterwards, too, if you don't mind.

>>	Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 03/22/11(Tue)22:55 No.14333388 >>14333359 Very well. Momentarily.

>>	Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:59 No.14333423 >>14333388 I am waiting eagerly.

Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 03/22/11(Tue)22:59 No.14333425
File1300849150.jpg-(267 KB, 724x970, Dark Eldar Kabal I am Disappoi(...).jpg)

When we last left our merry band of failures, they were just stepping onto the fortress of Khodexus, the Dark Eldar Archon the Rogue Trader made a deal with. For those not in the know, the Rogue Trader made a deal months ago - a good quality Agonizer for a future condition-free favor. That favor led them here. Archon Khodexus turns to the party (Rogue Trader, Arch Militant, Voidmaster, Seneschal, and Explorator) and the two NPCs (Korst'la the Tau Commander and Jamal the Techmarine), and explains that quarters have been prepared for them. They would be briefed the following day.

Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:59 No.14333435

>>14333335
i remember you mentioning that before Shas'o.

any other interesting developments since you last filled us in on the general happenings? i remember the party were still failing their checks to realize the juggernaut was a warp beast but they had sort of caught on that it wasn't natural

>>	Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 03/22/11(Tue)23:00 No.14333440<