>>14350398

Are there funny hijinks? I would totally watch this if there were.

Necromunda Shore

>>14350404
I demand more of this comic

>>14350398
i would pay good money to see an Arbites version of COPS

Enemy at the Cadican Gate

>>14350426
only one, sorry

>>14350398
these guys

>>14350430
ENFORCERS

heretics, heretics, what'chu gon' do, what'chu gon' do when they come for you~

mind, it would just be Judge Dredd TV

>>14350496
are you implying thats a bad thing?

>CHAPTER cconan
i think captcha want's a conan movie

H.E.R.E.S.Y.
Astartes of Hazzard
Heresy My Dad Says

Next on Fresh Prince of Commorragh...

Someone post the Mythbustaz picture.

The Planet Before Time vol. XXIV: The ever-continuing story of several youngsters attempting to survive the hellish confusion of Second-Millennium Holy Terra.

Lords of the Dance: A soap opera regarding young, restless hive nobles and sinister, manipulative Rogue Traders.

The Grimdark Adventures of Billy and Mandy.

They're also showing ULTIMATE WARRIOR season 865321: Space Marines versus EVERYONE.

Cains Heroes: The adventures of Commissar Caiaphas Cain

(this one is actually canon)

>>14350430
In the Imperium, the will of the Emperor is made up of two separate yet equal arms in the pursuit of routing out heresy and mutation.
The Inquisition, which investigates the heretical and the Adeptus Arbites, which executes.
This is their stories.

Coming up next is...

Two and a Half Mechanicus

Terra Park

Everybody Loves Emperor

Emperor of Terra (King of Queens :V)

Captcha
>Tyran time
I guess captcha wants a tyranid tv show?

Squats: Legend or reality?

Chaos Channel: All Catherine Breillat films, all the time. Plus occaisionally The Cell.

>>14350398
Hello neighbor

The Tau broadcast propoganda in the form of mecha shows where human males aquire personal harems.

This week on Heresy Matters, little Octavius brings home an abandoned Nurgling!

Mother: Octavius Junior! Just what is that smell coming out from your room?
Octavius: Nothing, mom!
Mother: Are you smoking lhos in there?

(audience laughs)

>>14350572
>>14350572

Assuming that was continual production, that show is releasing something like 2.2 seasons per year.

splooge

Saint Roger's Hive.

The Muppet Ship: a comedy-variety show using special guests, musical numbers, and talking nonhuman puppets to generate hilarious jokes. Main stars include Lord Captain Kermit the Amphibian, Lady Piggy, and Fozzy Ogryn. Heretical nature of "nonhuman puppets" currently being reviewed by the Inqusition; however, given the rumors that the Emperor once guest-starred on this show (the fabled "lost episode"), there are some doubts as to whether this will be removed.

Sesame Hive: Spin off of the Muppet Ship. Officially Emperor-approved since M31.

>>14350622
;_;

>>14350622

Impossible, the Emperor is stuck on the Golden Throne, there's no way he'd be able to host a children's show.

Mr. Dressup
>the Callidus

Just one of the advertisements

Big Brother, Tau edition. Very boring. No fighting or anything.

Faux News.

>>14350648
Clones and actors.

Also
Dirty Jobs with Commisonar Rowe.

>>14350544

>>14350648
I'm going to get blam'd for this, but I'm pretty sure that Mr. Rogers, at least, would have been a decent father. Unlike a certain God-Emperor out there.

Ok guys, its been well over a year since I originally made and posted this so I think its reasonable to repeat...

In the grim and distant future --
Next Sunday A.D. --
There was a techpriest named J’ole,
Not too different from you or me.
He worked at a Mechanicus Institute,
Just another face in a red jumpsuit.
He did a good job cleaning up the place,
But the magos didn't like him
SO THEY SHOT HIM INTO SPACE!

The U team.

A team of four Ultramarines in a black Rhino with a red stripe have action-packed adventures around the universe.

>>14350685
We'll send him heretical movies,
The worst we can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And we'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind J’ole can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
Because he used those special parts
To build his servitor friends!

>>14350679

True. Fred McFeely Rogers had two sons, and neither of them tried to kill him.

>>14350695
++Servitor Sign off!++
++Cambot!++
++Gypsy!++
++Tom Servo!++
++Croooow!++

>>14350687
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!

COMMISAR FUKLAW AND THE ANGRY MARINES:

Think combination Jackass and Punk'd blended together.

>>14350700
Were either of them named Angron?

I'd kill my parents if they named ME Angron. That's not something you forgive.

>>14350712
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other Scholastic facts (la la la),
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax
For Mystery Science Theater 40,000!"

is there a 40k variant of the fresh prince theme song?

>>14350720
Yeah with more Rage.

I am running a Rogue Trader game where two players, a mentally unstable navigator and a hive ganger-turned security officer have bonded by watching a large collection of heretical buddy cop and actions movies.

They spend their off time, lounging around a room in their boxers, watching such amazing Imperial classics as

Kung-Fu Cops of Necromunda

Rumble in the Underhive

Big Trouble in Little Armegeddon

Hive Fleet Kraken by Dark

Inglorious Astartees

Der Titan

Bad Sororitas 3 (All copies of 1&2 have been destroyed)

The hiver, who has raided Eldar ships before, thinks all this nonsense about them being able to see the future and having Aspect Temples is completely Scintillawood bullshit.

>>14350722

The Emperor did not name the Primarchs. They got whisked away in their infancy, and the only ones that could recognize him were the ones with divination psychic powers. Angron was named by the people who raised him, that is, the people who were in charge of the arena. It is pretty much a stage name.

>>14350687
In 40,000 a crack Space Marine unit was sent to the Warp by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum heresy Warphold to the Hive Tyrn underground. Today, still wanted by the Imperium of Man, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the U Team.

>>14350687
FUCK YEA

>>14350719
to be honest that's probably the plot of the game; SPACE MARINE

and you know what? I'm OK with it, so long as none of the spiritual liege stuff gets mentioned

In the Dark Grimness of the year 40,000 there is no TV

>>14350755

DUNN-DU DUN-DUUUN! DUN-DUN-DUUUN!

Sweet!

Another thread where we tried to shoe horn
40k into everything!

MFW.

>>14350813
Making funny movie and video titles using concepts from a game we enjoy?

How terrible!

Up next: in the grim darkness of Dwarf Fortress, what's on TV?

something like sons of anarchy, about Chaos renegades.

>>14350830
What tvs? Creepers got them years ago.

>>14350830
24/7 sock shopping channel
Cave spider silk socks, pig tail thread socks, elf hair socks, we have them all! Now 50% off due to minor zombie carp damage!

HERESY!

>>14350784

there sure is, just turn on your pic-vox

>>14350830
Porn.
> His hammer worked me again and again. Mercilessly pounding me each thundering blow shaping me. Shaping me. Kneading me. I was getting cold but he could sense this so he thrust me into the flames and gently oh so gently twirled me until i was hot all over his finger gentle but firm. Glowing. The heat permeating every inch of my being. Before i could even prepare for the blow he hammered my hilt with such force i shuddered but even then i wanted more. I wanted it harder and he gave it. His sweat poured down on me and i sizzled in gratitude....

Marbo: First Blood

Teen Titans- a children's cartoon glorifying the transition from child to techpriest. Occasionally the main cast has to interface with an actual Titan to stave off large xeno invasions.

Enlisted with Children

"Poor Al tries to escape his family by enlisting in the Imperial Guard, but he's in for a nasty surprise as it turns out that his loving family also heeded the call of the Emperor!"

Can someone pls draw a 40K "X-Files" ad?

>>14351112
Don't you mean =I= -Files?

>Yuikami on Gaiaonline
I already don't like you, OP.

>>14350755
>implying anyone could escape the Imperial military
So much heresy.

Whatever show's are on, they had better never imply that anything is less than perfect.

big Empreror

a live feed of the emperor, all day everyday

Live heretic purging.

IG Joe is the codename for the Imperium's daring, highly trained special mission force.

It's purpose, to defend human freedom against Chaos-
a ruthless collection of dark powers determined to rule the galaxy.

CHOASSSSS!!! RETREATTTT!!!

YO JOE!

>>14351385
Goddamnit, who's responsible for this shoop? I've seen it twice now and have no idea where it came from.

>>14351415
it's not a shoop, but from a fo'real cartoon!

>>14351415
Believe it or not, but that is not a photoshop. That is a screencapture from the Street Fighter Animated Series, and the character in question is a generic henchman of M. Bison.

Yes, Bison had Imperial Guard look-alikes working for him.

>>14351385
>IG Joe
>GI Joe

It took 70+ replies for someone to think of this?

That's fucking brilliant, by the way.

>>14351385
YES

>>14350631
IS is Tau propaganda.
Tau sterilization camps.

Holy FUCK! Now the plot makes sense!

>this thread

Survivor: The Eye of Terror

Orkyard Wars

No one mentioned a W40K version M*A*S*H yet?

I like to see a Ork version of Happy Days

>>14351857
Orky Days?

Whose Litany is it Anyway?

>Things you would tell an Emperor-damned heretic, but not your Comissar.

>>14351898
best in thread

something i was working on

Next on Space Hulk challenge:

teams Gork and Mork have been challenged to build the orkiest mecha they can build using only parts they can find on the space hulk!

>>14351834
oh god I loved that show

watching two teams of mekboys with a big mek boss trying ta make the stompiest, killiest whatever. End of episode is a literal fight to the death.

fucking awesome

Webway WG-1

>>14351898
This is going to spawn its own thread..i forsee it

"Crikey looks like we've got a tyranid here, now these guys have razor sharp claws that can rip ceramite apart. So I'm going to sneak up and grab him."

Da Fast and Da Furious!

Iron Legion Chef

SMASH TV contestants compete to see who gets to join the astartes. Watch to see who the next defender of humanity will be.

Imperial idol.

>>14352059
>>takemymoney.jpg

>>14352026
And he gets killed by a squig.

;_;

I would still watch the fuck out of that.

C-c-catch the corpse. Eat corpse starch.

>>14350543
"Now this is a story, all about how, my life got fucked up upside down, now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became a prince of a town called Commorragh.

the Imperium, born and raised, in the Imp. Guard was where I spent most of my days, killing out xenos, relaxing all cool, shooting some Chaos outside a school, when a couple of Piratesm who where up to no good, starting capturing slaves in my neighbourhood. I got in one little war, but I got scared, and was wisked away to the city Commorragh.

I beg and pleaded with them, day after day, but they took out their whips and beat me anyway, Wyches gave me a stab, then i fell on a picket, one turned his mic on and said "We might as well kick it!"

>Orky Choppaz!
Two crazy mekboyz take on commisions from warbosses all over the sector to build the fastest, flashiest, shootiest, choppiest, orkiest, custom-made warbikes!
>Orky Manor
With the support of the Adeptus Mechanicus and over 300 hidden vox and videorecorders, this show is all about the strife and victories of the small ork clan Whoppers, stranded on the space hulk Kal-i-Harm, as they try to avoid genestealers, rival orks and other horrors from beyond, to finally get off the Hulk!
>Ancient Weapons
Former Cadian Shock Trooper, "Mac", shows us the latest in unearthed archeotech and the big guns of the Navy, Guard and even the Adeptus Astartes!
>This is a standard stubb-gun round (holds it in one hand), and has a calibre of 7mm. One hit by this, and you´ll likely never get up again
>And *this* is a Mars Pattern Mk.VI Earth Shaker High Explosive round, used to flatten bunkers and it has a calibre of 190mm. One his by this, and your comrades will be finding bits of you for weeks afterwards
>...and *THIS* is the Gryphonne Pattern Mk. II Magna-Melta Orbital Bombardment Munition, and it has a calibre of 3300mm. One hit by this, and it´s all over

Mechanicus Wars;

The Adeptus Mechanicus do more then slap their dicks on old tech all day. They also create robots of death and destruction!

Live feed of a Tau Fire Warrior squad exploring a chaos-infested Space Hulk.

OH AUN THE PAIN

>>14352124
>Armageddon Choppaz

>>14352066
everyone who sings on this show is executed, for the Emperor is our only idol

>>14350631
Those tricky Tau!

>>14350917
I miss that dwarf porn thread that disappeared from the archives. It was awesome.

In one Cain novel, they say there's a holovid series Aces High where two Lightning pilots go Ace Combat on the enemies of the Imperium.

>>14352121
Your love is faaaaaaaaaaaading! I've just made a giant masterpiece for all the "Imperium's Greatest Newspaper" nerds.

Cultist for Warmaster!

Oh! There coming to geeeeeeeeet meeeeee! Ha, ha.

>>14351973
No no no no.
Jokaero challenge: Two groups of apes are put in a scrapheap with a pile of mangoes in the middle.

>>14352066

>>14352162
Somebody's at the door.

*BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!... BLAM!*

>"Haha, we've discovered some of the greatest treasures from Ancient Terra, and now, they'll be recited by Orkz! Watch the zany adventures of Ork-spearian theater!"

>>14352213
Ta'morrw an' Ta'morrw an' Ta'morrw,
Creepz at diz' zogin' slow speed from day ta' day,
To da lazt wurdza time;
An' all da yesterdayz and dayz befor' haz zog'in idiotz,
Da way ov Dusty Deff, Da brief flamer's out.
Dis live is but a sneeky git, a gimpin' grot dat
stutz about and dos stuff in hiz time on da' stage,
And den he'z ded. It'z a realy long story,
Told by a zogi'n moron, full 'ov gubbins,
but it ain't much.

>>14352159
>Aces High
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN
LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE TOOOOOOOO FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
FLYYYYYYYY TOOOOOOOOOOOO LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE
DOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOR DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE

I will pay good money to a drawfag who is willing to draw "Catachan Shore"

>>14352181
>5 fingers and a thumb
MUTANT, NO MUTANT WOULD EVER BE AN IMPERIAL IDOL.

>>14352162

Where am I? In bed? What am I doing? T-t-t--t-talking to myself.


Fuck. Listening to that song again.

>Top Gear in WH40k
>FUCKINGTAKEMYMONEY

Faithwatch, glorious imperial ladies at the beach.

'Eh boss....

If we shoots a humie ta'day then they'z iz gonna spill all der red blood everywhere...

Then todayz will be red... And it'll go fasta...

Which means it'll be to'marra sooner!

>>14352246
>Some say that they are the greatest of all the space marines and that they produce bolter rounds.. from their bottom.
>All we know is, they're called the Ultramarines.

Up next Optimus Prime and his fellow Titans of the Legio Autoboticus battle the evil Titans of the Legio Decepticus

>>14352059

>Double Fisted Action

>>14352066
Not sure if want
>Comissar Cowell: So, are you going to start singing now?
>Candidate: But I just did...
>Comissar Cowell: Sounded to me like you were trying to summon a Greater Demon of Slaanesh *BLAM*
I'd give it a try.

>>14352364
We loved your performance but we could not help but notice the fifth finger you have there, disqualified due to mutation.

*she runs off crying*

Pimp my METAL BAWKS!

>>14352288

>Optimi Primarius

I am so running this as a Titan name sometime. The Legio will have a long and proud tradition of allowing its crews to paint their steeds colors of their choice.

>>14350687
>>14350755

I would have gone for

cadiA-Team, but this one is good, too

McGivericus :
Thanks to somehow non-heretical and creative use of standard imperial technology, a bold pacifist techpriest helps the common folk of the Imperium against corrupt Rogue Traders and planetary governors !

>>14352059
Congratulations! You've come first out of the one million contestants! Sadly, you will never be an Ultramarine.

>>14352551
There is however room in the flesh tearers for you.

The =][= Team

Accused of a Heresy they didn't commit, a rag-tag cell of Inquisitorial Acolytes and their allies fight a covert battle to clear their names. Today, still wanted by the Inquisition, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem...if no one else can help...and if you can find them...maybe you can hire...The =][= Team.

Too much nonsense tv in this thread. Time Team 40k! Following a bunch of lovable and quirky explorators around recovering archeotech and patching together information about lost human dark age civilisations :3

>>14350631

Hmmm looks interesting...
>reads wiki

FUCK. THAT. SHIT

>>14354662

Instead of the harsh reality of uncovering nightmarish nearly broken Iron-men, death traps, malfunctioning machinery, warp taint, broken reactors...

Unless you go to a really agricultural/"newish" world, archaeology aint fun. Why do you think some of them went out with Titans?

/nofun. I like your idea actually!

I forget in which BL novel this is in, but there is mention of a show about lightning pilots who score way too many kills or something like that.

>>14354791
The grimdarkness was implied and expected. The point is, it would be real and informative. I hardly watch anything aside from historical shows on tv any more.

I like to imagine Ork's watching tv on really really old looking tvs, like the ones with no knob and you need a pair of pliers to turn the channel or change the volume.

>>14354849
Second CC novel (Caves of Ice), it's called "Attack Run".

>>14354970

I have to admit, if they were blasé to it all, made witty/amusing/informative comments...

best show ever

"Ohoho! What we have here is a Pattern IX CENTURIUS! These killing machines once upon a time rained plasma death onto the enemies of man!"

"....and man eventually".

"Yes I was getting to that."

In the Grim darkness of the future, what vidya to they play?

[spoiler]inb4 no Half Life Episode 3

>>14355066
Ah balls, I forgot /tg/ aint got spoilers

Top Gear 40k (Trukk Gear, Speed Freakz, I suck at names)

It's been mentioned, just wanted to throw this picture out there.

For my contribution:

Magos Who. About a quirky techpriest who, through the use of his amazing archeotech, flies around destroying the enemies of man (or maybe just defending the imperium, if some remnant of the pacifist message survived).

>>14355066
Rosarius 1,2,3, AT (Assault Troopers), and Macragge (the stunning prequel).

Dead Spacehulk.

Call of the Imperium: 1,2,3, Galaxy at War, and Stormtroopers (does the IG have black ops?)

I can keep going.

>CAPTCHA: Inquisitor Aenain
>A humble indie game about an inquisitor from Ordo Xenos who murderizes people in the face.

Man v Food 40k-One lone human explores the greatest foods of the galaxy. From the best BBQ on Terra to a plump, juicy squig on some space hulk.

Bamp. Don't let this die.

Some propaganda kid show?

Adeptus Diagnosticus! A story about a Brilliant Senior Aphotecary his apprentices, and a sister hospitaler, fight countless diseases prepared by papa nurgle.

In the Ordo Hereticus there are two seperate, yet equally important groups. The Inquisition, which roots out Heresy, and the Adeptus Astartes, which prosecutes the offenders. These are their stories.
[Bolter fires twice]

I am Adam. Prince of Cadia and keeper of the secrets of Golden Throne.
This is 13th Cadian... my fearless regiment.
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my powerhammer and said... By the power of Golden Throne!
I HAVE THE POWER!
13th Cadian became the Legio Secundus, and I became Sigmar the lost Primarch.
Only a few others share this secret... Our friends: The Emperor, Creed and Orcus the sanctioned psyker.
Together we defend The Imperium from the evil forces of Abaddon.

Inquisitor Gadget was my favorite show as a kid

>>14350398

"My name's Mike Rowe, and this is my job. I explore the Imperium looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty — hard-working men and women who earn an honest living doing the kinds of jobs that Servitors can't be created to do. Now, get ready to get dirty."

>>14358432
second time this was posted but I like the image

>>14355066
Dawn of War
Space Marine
Dark Millennium
Grand Theft Auto: Necromunda
STALKER: shadow of Kreig

servitor wars.

teams of tech-priests compete to build combat servitors that can survive the hazards of the arena and defeat their rivals

"Death is the right of all heretics."

Dark Eldar porn channels.

>>14350404
>>14350463

http://mr-culexus.deviantart.com/

I'll post the next page too.

>>14360489

This is the most awesome commissar.

>>14352501

THIS. YES.

>>14360502
Oh that sly bitch

Long ago in a distant world, I, Tzeentch, the shape-shifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Space Marine wielding a magic chainblade stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in the warp and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Tzeentch!

>>14352190
Is that a 40k'd Galactic Inquisitor from Venture Brothers?

Also:

>A strange murder on the paradise world of Balaii has left the Governor in shock as it is his own daughter. The Governor calls in the Arbites who appoint Judge Jack Lord the head of a special investigation force. As the investigation continues his team finds that all is not that it seems.

>"Execute 'em Danno."

Captcha
>NASA|Trek Regnigh

What?

A ragtag group of orks led by a cunning nob wreak havoc on their bumbling dark eldar captors.

Hogantz's Heroes

>This thread

>>14360591

Speaking of which:

Venture Brothers

>A pair of brothers, sons of a now worn out Rogue Trader find themselves on amazing and comedic adventures across the uncharted realms of space. Accompanied by their former Kasrkin bodyguard Brock Samson and Machine Spirit H.E.L.P.E.R. they do everything they can to foil the evil plans of the mighty Dark Eldar: The Monarch!

>>14352224
AAACCCCCEEEESSSSSSSSS HHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

>>14360646
Let's be honest here, Captain mal is basically a rogue trader

>>14354849
Caves of Ice, I beleive

>>14360445
"Prime!"

rolled 23 = 23

I don't know what's on TV, but I'm pretty sure this would be playing at the movies...

You know this guy would have a show.

>>14360725
It's interesting to note that other Redemptionists consider him overzealous.

That's saying something.

>>14360681
So what you are telling me is, im going to make the next game of rogue trader into Firefly?

I see.


Speaking of 40k Video Games. I wonder what the 40k version of Red Dead Redemption would be.

"The Exorcist"
A visiting guardsman in Terra, notices dramatic and dangerous changes in the behavior and physical make-up of his 12-year-old daughter. Meanwhile, a young inquisitor at nearby Excelsior Black Ship begins to doubt his faith while dealing with his servistors' terminal sickness. And, book-ending the story, a frail, elderly adept recognizes the necessity for a show-down with an old demonic enemy.

The movie was popular among the citizens of the Imperium and two new parts were made.

>>14350622
Dreadnaught Rogers!!!

Also, Progenium Street and other educative programs for the orphan children of the grimdark future. Except Teletubbies, those are only for heretics.

>>14360752
Necromunda: Ash Bandits?

Seriously, no one?

Band of Battle-Brothers.

It also has a sister series called Segmentum Pacificus.

>>14360752
Vidya in the Imperium are mostly 8bits and 16bits games (32bits and higher are heretek).
So, most of the games are plataform ones, like Skitarii Commando, Megaguardman or Super Inquisitor Marius Fraters.

Today on Orky Choppa:

"Get da zoggin' bike done!"
"But boss, we gots no spare parts!"
"Why don' we loot dese 'ere bikes an' build one big shooty fing?"
"Mikey for Warboss!"

>>14352155
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7089173/

>>14360789
They have holograms. I think at least hive worlds would have some nice ones.

Sup /tg/. I'm feeling uninspired. Life has been going so well and I've had to tolerate so little that it's left my creativity running dry.

So /tg/. Give up your Raeg to fuel my greater.. something. I want whatever makes you mad. Let the raeg begin.

Marneus Calgar teaches typing.

Big Heresy Hunters - four teams from the inquisition set out to catch the biggest piece of individual heresy they can find - from Slaaneshi pleasure cults to Khornate Bloodthirsters in the bowels of a hive city to Squa-

Sororitas House - Sixteen sisters of Battle, each with slightly different belief systems, locked up in a house with weapons that only fire narcotics and baby oil!

>>14359092
>STALKER: shadow of Kreig