>Came expecting roleplaying story
>Got boner question.

Oh /tg/

I laugh at your trick question, sir! The correct answer is both at once - and I'm sure you can concoct a plan devious enough to accomplish both their differing objectives so you can fulfil your unrestrainable carnal desires.

The chick on the right looks rancid. Look at all those rags.

The chick on the left is called Sylvia Locke, there's a 95% of a sexy British accent.

Use your head.

Do they look like Women Of A Certain Age to anyone else? I mean I know it's a shitty blurry scan but at a glance you might end up ferrying their kids to soccer games.

>>14354151

Oh wow, I was going to say he should have sex with the one he's going to fuck *first*, then once he fucks her have sex with the one he didn't fuck. Both at once though? That's ambitious.

>>14354182

Rogue Traders are ambition personified! Any man can bed a lady for siding with her in an argument, it takes a Rogue Trader to bed both sides of the argument at the same time!

>>14354182
You are a rogue trader, sir. What are you if not ambitious? And if you are not ambitious, get off my bridge - I men of calibre!

>>14354151
Indeed.
Have them both come aboard your ship at the same time, have one meet you in your quarters just after the other has entered.
Pop the champagne.

After ravishing each other for hours, one of them will ask, "But what about the Ork invasion? What are we going to do?" and you'll respond, "The what?"

>>14354189
>>14354190

Ambitionmind

/tg/ is in agreement, fuck them both.

Lady Orleans of course.

>>14354182

>fuck
>sex

Your statement needed a little decoding. I think you mean to backstab the first one he has sex with?

...Either that or you're advising he has a LOT of sex.

You side with Lady Orleans, then you capture Captain Locke in the coup and keep her as your captive. Not in the crass modern McMansion Eastern European blonde sex slave wearing a gaudy bikini and chained down hard on your junk kind of captive, I'm talking classy victorian style locked in her room with a window out on to space and dressed in elaborate bodices until she succumbs to your lusty charms style.

And then obviously you bang the french chick on the side.

>>14354157

>Use your head.

He already is.

>>14354176

Be fair, no Rogue Trader's going to be babyfaced either. Basically everyone in Rogue Trader can expect to be in that thirty-to-sixty bracket, with the Rogue Trader themself probably no younger than thirty five.

Besides Locke's probably a career woman for whom office romance is the only sort of romance, and Orleans has the look about her of a lady who mixes business and pleasure. They'd both probably know what they're really doing if they sleep with the Rogue Trader who's taking their side.

Ugh, I'm so sick of Rogue Traders hogging all of the flirts and romantic tension. The class can have a bit of a "Main protagonist" vibe around it which means every game I've ever played, no matter who's playing the Rogue Trader they always seem to get the best characterisation, development, attention, and love interests.

Nobody loves an Explorator... *sniff*...

>>14354324

You just need better attachments. Mechandrites have some interesting substitutions!

>>14354130
OP read my mind.

The Frozen Reaches? Jeremiah Blitz is in that, isn't he? The Rogue Trader from Lure of the Expanse? I really enjoyed little tidbits of continuity like that, Fantasy Flight's writers did an incredible job creating their own mini-setting within Warhammer 40k.

Captain Locke.

Dat bionic arm. Goddamn. Imagine the grip on that thing.

>>14354387

I, too, masturbate to the Terminator.

They obviously have a great deal of pent up sexual frustration.

What is the difficulty on my Charm test to get Locke and Orleans into a Lesbian orgy?

>>14354417
She also has a multi-dildo attachment and a bionic cock she uses to keep discipline among her seamen

>>14354433
Slaanesh

>>14354433

No, no, you don't get it.

The lesbian orgy is why they're so pissed at each other right now. Forget the Imperial Colony, mistakes were made.

As somebody who knows next to nothing about anything to do with Warhammer or anything at all, and comes here to read up on snippets of WHRP logs which became relevant to me as of last week, I propose the following in my limited knowledge.

You propose a compromise - a free port, unpoliced by the Imperium, but with an isolated Imperium presence of some sort, perhaps a resouce management base or recruitment centre or whateverthehell 40K has in that regard. Imperium doesn't get locked out, and can keep contact with the free port without having specific influence of sort.

How viable is this?

(Also, both of them.)

>>14354487

Ehhhhh, maybe. Technically the Imperium's stance is that they're the only legitimate authority in the galaxy and that all human beings belong either in it or dead. That said the reality is far, far from that extreme stance, especially on the far frontier (and the Koronus expanse isn't likely to stop being frontier any time soon, or perhaps ever).

My guess is though that the independance movement would prefer the Imperial presence be driven out entirely to avoid the risk of them trying to reassert themselves or meddle. The Imperium would have a lot harder time mounting an effort to annex a free world beyond the reach of their logistics than expanding a foothold. Honestly the expanse is far more rife with independant colonies and pirates than Imperial ones, the planet in this module is a relative exception.

I don't think the OP's going to be able to squeeze a compromise out of this. What goes beyond even the reasonable legal considerations at play here are the personalities of the leaders and their followers. The governor is apparently too weak to negotiate a compromise on behalf of the planet and both the independance faction and the Imperium faction want things their way. They'll accept help getting their outcome, but I doubt they'll see the Rogue Trader as strong enough to force them to work together.

>>14354487

Think long-term, here. Rogue Traders want a free port because ultimately they will be doing something very, very illegal. The Navy want a full-fledged Imperial colony so as to have an outpost for their ships when they are chasing people who are doing very, very illegal things.

The two just can't mix.

>>14354546

Well, there *is* a giant fuckoff Ork fleet preparing to invade, right? If Orleans is in a stronger position than Locke right now (sounds like the fleet's not riding to their rescue) then if she can be persuaded to let matters stand until after the immediate threat is passed they could be made to work together. Locke would have to accept that she'd be fighting the Orks with the possibility of being evicted even if she wins, which might be a bitter pill, but there's honestly room here to make them work together.

Why not have the planet under the Imperium control but give the planetary governorship to you. That way you can set up a mook that would stay with the Imperium, but since it's the frontier or Imperium rule you can pretty much turn it into whatever you want. Look at Footfall technically it's under Imperium rule but it's one the biggest free trade posts.

>>14354582

The problem is Orleans probably wants to strike now while the iron is hot. If she waits until after the attack (assuming they survive and assuming her own allies are still in good enough shape to take over) a lot of people will probably have lost their stomache for fighting, not to mention the Imperial fleet would probably make an effort to preserve the port now that it looks like Orks won't flatten it.

If she throws the Imperium out before the invasion and then beats the Orks, her forces will be able to rest easy for a while, she'll be the hero of the newly independant system (which she can milk to run her criminal enterprises), and the Imperium won't have any sort of foothold to use to retake the system. Hell, ports are scarce in the Expanse, they're not going to risk a reclaimation fleet without some guarantee that it could make it out there in one piece.

Nah, it's got to be now. It's not about beating the Orks. Remember, there are PCs about, they can always beat the Orks with or without one of the optional allies. This is about what becomes of the port in the future.

>>14354130
Fuck the shit out of Lord-Captain Sylvia Locke to the point she can be persuaded to walk straight into the warp if need be and go make an alliance with Lady Elizabeth Orleans(as said, she's in fucking rags, Emperor knows what sorta diseases she carrys). That is the only true way.

>>14354487
*Snort*

You are a Rogue Trader.

You want to take over the Colony and claim it in the name of your dynasty while Sylvia and Eliza suck each other off at your feet purring at you to join in.

LACE =/= RAGS

>>14354608

Port Wander's under Imperial jurisdiction (Fleet presence, arbites, priests, navy), I was pretty sure Footfall was just a big old independent station overgrown with haphazard construction and society from the comings and goings of Rogue Traders. They certainly don't have any representatives of Imperial law or Ecclesiarchy reps outside of some preachers and pilgrims.

If Footfall's owned by the Imperium at all, it's on a map in some sector lord's office. This planet could become that sort of free, true, but the problem is they'd have to get rid of their existing Imperial presence and the act of getting rid of them is much too openly defiant.

At best they'll be quietly forgotten or misfiled to avoid the trouble of admitting their betrayal and they'll get Footfall style free-port status, that sounds like what Orleans wants, but it's a gamble. Footfall's never actually collectively cast out any Imperial effort to take control because the Imperium's not dumb enough to try and take control of it, it'd waste what's a perfectly useable resource for their expansion. This world, though, they *might* try it.

>>14354257

>french chick

Wait...

>Orleans

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

Time for a jolly roger, boys, a pirate's life for me!

Why pick one? Plainly they are the same person, be it Navy captain masquerading as a pirate, or the other way 'round. Have they ever actually been seen together?

Let her know you're on to her game, OP, and it's time to give "it" up.

"It" being her ass, obviously.

Both women look like flat chested steampunk dykes, disregard them both and acquire profit factor.

>Harem anime mode

Both of them want to bone your virgin Rogue Trader?

Wat do?

Locke: Stern and aggressive disciplinarian. High risk of her on top. Rumors of Bionic strap-on.

Orleans: Tricksy rogue. Nice but naughty. She would literally screw you so hard, you wake up next day minus your ship, crew and clothes.

>>14354810

>Rogue Trader
>virgin

I don't think so, Timothicus.

>>14354851

I read that module. Locke is described as class conscious and duty-bound. She has friction with the local fleet commander because he's not a man of rank and rose up the ranks as a "common voidsman". Fucking the snobbery right out of her would be a real turn on, kind of too bad the Rogue Trader's basically as good as a noble so you can't do a "common blood to the rescue" thing.

Here's a higher-quality version of OP's pic.

>>14354906
In the grim darkness of the far future, marriage comes before sex.
To do otherwise is grave heresy and risks the attentions of the Ordos Spinstus.

>>14354935

Okay, that higher quality image was exactly what I needed. My head's curving toward the french broad pretty sharply now, best post the high quality of the other chick quick to balance it out.

>>14354935
Ooh, now that is a lovely bit of artwork. Thanks for posting it.

>>14354933
Ironically she is also places "serve the people" above follow orders. She is a snob but of the decent sort. Also her snobbishness isn't entirely unjustified. Imperial Navy crews are better than most RT crews and she is a pretty badass captain.

What OP doesn't realize is that they're both Chaos; they both carry the eight-pointed star on them, openly.

>reammith time"
yes indeed captchan, it's definitely reaming time for OP.

>>14354964

Whup speak of the devil.

Okay, I've had a chance to review the bodies of evidence, and my findings are that the officer lady has the most compelling case. Side with her. At least you'll know she'll still be there when you wake up. More importantly, so will your ship.

>>14354998
I just noticed that as well. Dark Heresy has trained me well!

>>14354991

Classy, class-conscious broads who need to be taught a lesson about equality and will eventually come to accept that there are good people everywhere are basically my fetish, so go with the Imperium.

>>14354935
>>14354964

Sorry, I'm turned on by right eyeballs. These chicks do nothing for me.

This thread makes me glad I bothered scanning the Frozen Reaches. Well played, OP.

>>14355018

I saw both, but the first is clearly a steering wheel and the second is... well okay it's an eight pointed star but at least it's the *wrong* kind.

Honestly I see a lot of eight pointed stars on characters in the Warhammer roleplaying games that aren't meant to be chaos-tainted. I think it's just the simplest button to push in order to make players jumpy.

>>14355060
>Implying Chaos stars aren't the wrong ones

>>14354377

I have a weird thing for characters in modules. Maybe it's the way how they could potentially pop up in future adventures, or the character artwork, or maybe it's how other people playing the same adventure also will get to encounter them, or maybe it's something to do with 'canon'. Either way, that pirate queen looking chick is turning my crank and you need to get on that because I'm never going to get a chance to play this module so you've got to hand out vicarious dickings on my behalf.

>>14354982
More art from the Frozen Reaches has been cropping up recently.

>>14355049

OP here, thanks for uploading it, I'm pretty sure that's the copy my GM is using and we're having a good time running it.

After giving the thread a read I've decided to go for the incredibly risky and dangerous double-bone - specifically, both at the same time. Which probably means finding some impossible way for them to get along for at least a half hour. Any ideas?

>Captcha: Scroo 200

Jesus, even the Captcha's got high expectations of me now.

>>14354377
>>14355242

Don't forget about the Rogue Trader in LotE who is related to the protagonists of Andy Hoare's own RT novels.

I can forgive most of 40k's stupidity mostly on the fact that almost all female human higher ups have cast iron hooker heels.

>>14355336
The solution is obvious, have the orks pin you down, just the three of you and you have to wait for a rescue that is conveniently 12 hours away.

>>14355336

Both of them into bed *willingly*? Because the rogue trader lady is probably up for shock mauling the lord captain and tying her to your bed, and that's just about the only way I can see all three of you having sex together.

Which is fine if you're into that. Might honestly be pretty hot. Just disconnect her bionic hand, there's a risk of built-in weapons.

>>14355336
To Locke: Keeping it as a mostly free port means the area will flourish with trade. Cracking down means it'll drive people away; even if it survives the war nobody will want to go there and it'll die.

To Orleans: The orks are just one of the many terrible things in the Expanse. Having a proper Battlefleet presence there will ensure the planet survives and can flourish as a mostly free port. Otherwise it's down to individual traders to protect it and they're the sort to cut their losses and run rather than stand defiantly against adversity. Herself being an exception, of course.

>>14355339
Speaking of House Arcadius. Is it true that Brielle is a xeno-loving slut?

>>14354130
They're clones, playing both sides against each other. Get them alone, explain you know their secret.

Hot clone sex ensues and everyone's happy.

Give the way the thread's going, I'm surprised that people aren't flocking to the drawthread asking for some rule34 of these two.

>>14355435
Only read the first book, but she does seem inclined to deal with xenos.

I had nothing to do with those scandalous rumours about Madam Charlabelle Armelan engaging in debauched deviant sexual orgies with her entire crew of Kroot mercenaries.

Honest!

>>14355424

I get the impression Orleans is the cut her losses type herself, she just sees big profit in a free port and is willing to gamble against the Orks and the Lord Captain to get it. Many a Rogue Trader has established or appropriated colonies for their own glory rather than that of the Imperium, even if it was a risky proposition on their part to protect their investment.

Besides, as this incident has proven, when the chips are down the navy's not willing to protect the port despite the taxes and restrictions put in place. Keeping the Imperium on board has more to do with avoiding reprisals (against the planet and the Rogue Traders) and maintaining the stability of Imperial law than it does protecting the people from military threats, and Imperial law is exactly the sort of straightjacket Lady Orleans wants to be rid of.

>>14355607

When my group ran Lure of the Expanse the Rogue Trader emerged as best bros with Blitz and banging Armelan on the side, so this sort of rumour-mongering is funny to imagine.

Honestly the Rogue Traders they made up for this setting are all great, I'd love to see more of their interactions. Give them a novel or a comic series or something.

>>14355626
Well, don't let reality get in the way of striking a deal. Appeal to her sense of profit. Appeal to Locke's sense of duty (to protect mankind that is, not follow orders). Once everything's in writing you're mostly home free.

Unless either of them decides that the document isn't worth the parchment it's written on, anyway.

>>14355670
I've been tempted to writefag about such characters before but, frankly, I'm not sure it would turn out as anything besides shit.

As for Armelan, I certainly hope you didn't pressure her into anything. There's plenty of room to strong arm her in that adventure, given the state of her dynasty, but what sort of disreputable coward would force a woman into his bed?

>>14355748

What? Use force against a lady? Perish the thought.

Actually she was portrayed as a woman in dire financial straits who put on a tough and cold outer appearance to keep spirits up and try to not let her poor strategic position come across as a sign of weakness. The Rogue Trader went out of his way to help her and be tactful about the whole weakness thing while trying to convince her to be less cold and take a greater interest in her subordinates and dependents.

Yeah, it was a cheesy "Teach the cold businesswoman how to looooove" plot but when you're all face to face at the game table it's hard to actually act out anything too indepth. Still went over pretty well though I think, considering.

>>14355840
Ah, a much finer treatment than what my players gave her. After having a history of doing business with her (ship components on the cheap, they needed some) they left her picking through the remnants of an exploded Eldar void station looking for the nexus despite her pleas for some sort of partnership in which her transport could haul whatever plunder they find for them. In true gentlemanly fashion the Rogue Trader said "I'm sorry my dear, but we'll call you if we need you. Until then, shove off. Toodles!" Then they warped out and left her with a dead end, likely dooming her dynasty to poverty and ruin after they more or less funded it in the first place.

Bumping as an excuse to post this hard-ass motherfucker. OP, how could you leave this man out of your prospective options? Okay so you can't bone him (uh, probably) but look at that fucking swagger. The guy's got the making of a prime military dictator for life and you're busy picking which overdressed hooker-boot wearing whore you want to take to the governor's gala?

Son, I am disappoint.

More Frozen Reaches art.

>>14354964
Clearly you bone the broad with the cock dagger

Look at the one on the left's belt.
Eight-pointed star.

>>14359811
Chaos tainted sex (Read: Herpes)

>>14359811
It's a symbol of the Imperial Navy. It's also a ship's steering wheel.

>>14359849
THE ENTIRE NAVY IS TAINTED.
CLEANSE AND PURIFY.

The one with the big hat

Duh

>>14354130
left

>>14355748
My Rogue Trader is a literal psychopath.
Forcing her into his bed was just another way for him to profit. After which I methodically plundered her dynasty and left her penniless.
But that's just when I played that module.

One on the left. Bend her over her wheel and ride that uniformed ass raw.

Help/bang Locke, and take that Orleans bitch to the cleaners.

>>14354433
>>14354637
>>14355420
>>14355748
>>14359951
i demand writefag/drawfagery

>>14360080
I just want the guy who writes the rogue trader/tyranid stories back.

I am a deviant twit, I know it.

>>14360123

What guy are we talking about?

>>14359849
>>14356883
>>14355314
>>14354964
>>14354935

Is it a requirement for a navy officer to have a bionic eye?

>>14360266
>>14360123
And what stories?
Is it one of stories of awesome stabbage, and badassery?
Or... porn?

>>14360321
40k version of the eye patch, I'm assuming.

>>14360328

Good point. Clearly I have something else to add to my Rogue Trader character. Can't be navy without a bionic eye.

>>14360321
Rogue trader has quite a few naval officers without bionic eyes.
But they're basically like eyepatches, except sci-fi and even more cool, so naturally they get used a lot.

the one who isn't swarming with buckles.


OH WAIT

>>14360340
Yes... like an eye patch. With working laser cannon.

>>14360349
Sadly the Baleful Eye is a Near Unique piece of kit and as such is subject to a -50 Acquisition check. With the +30 bonus for trying to obtain a single item that's still a -20 modifier and likely beyond the pay grade of anyone below the rank of Admiral. Unless some clerk was convinced to classify such devices under "suitable bionic replacements for acting captains."

>>14360266
>>14360323
THIS:

http://archive.easymodo.net/tg/thread/11899148

>>14361103
forgot ma pic

nsfw!
http://grognard.booru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=8220

>>14360592

Still, you can get one built with preysence, dark sight and a scope of your choice.

Always fun.

>>14361123
>>14361107
>>14361103
>tyranids with penises

>>14361134
You know /tg/ how /tg/ works. Never let the facts get in the way of fapfiction.

>>14361134
DLFG: "I wonder what the acquisition difficulty is?"

here's part2 if you want more
http://archive.easymodo.net/tg/thread/11937891

>>14361197
Nonexistent (-∞)

I think RT would be great for a ERP campaign.
Has anyone tried it yet?

iimperial lady. fo sho'

>>14361256
No.
And get out.

>>14354810
If Tenchi Masaki inherited his Grandfather's Warrant and a ship full of bitches

Washu: Rank16+ Ascended Magos
Ryoko: Dark Eldar pirate
Mihoshi and Kiyone: Arbitrators
Ayeka: Missionary
Sasami: Door stop

>>14361256
I have a friend who says he's in one run by Wasteland Warrior. (He claims that he's staying out of the 'E' bit, and I'm willing to believe him.) Supposed to be adequate and not TOO porny.

>>14361103
>>14361203

Aaaaaah, those were the days of ye olde /tg/, before the janitors reign of terror.

>>14363154
I thought the janitor didn't care about the, ah, written word? Surely they could be continued?

>>14363180
Best way to do it is to write it off board and link it. Use pastebin or something.

>>14363180

It was deleted like everything else that he didn`t like. Also there were a dedicated group of people at the time of his appointment that decried everything with remotely erotic elements as "shitposting" and "shitting up the board with fetish stuff".

>>14363252
There was whole lot of shitposted smut at the time, though. Chubby gorgan and all that. Fic just got caught in the crossfire.

So I take it no one else would try to go the Ork route, and romance the Warboss?

I know I would. I guess I'm the only one with a secret need to fall into his strong green arms, and make wild whoopie or something.

>>14363272
>>14363252
It's... so sad. Such great work, lost to the ravages of chance and time...

Chapter three sounded like it would have been good, too...

Talk with the Seneschal what the loss in profit would be if siding with the Lord-Captain rather then Lady Orleans, and if an 'underground' trading network could be agreed on with Orleans with Locke's eyes conveniently looking away

Roll a few good agility, toughness, and willpower rolls and the Captain blushes as she agrees to turn her head from some of the free trades
Oh what? It's alright, the Explorator likes to watch...

>>14363313

whatdazog.jpg

>>14363313
Pic related.

>>14363336
Ah, it's no great loss. Concept was done being explored and it's only fapfiction.

>>14355960

Wow. I felt a bit guilty about it after the session. But when you put it that way I feel REALLY BAD. I'm supposed to be the Adventurous, Dashing Explorer-Captain, Gentleman and Man of Honour and Fatih... everything a Rogue Trader isn't but should've been.

Not sure what I can do to fix things at this point though, especially given how frank I was. Feels bad man.

>>14354303

>Be fair, no Rogue Trader's going to be babyfaced either. Basically everyone in Rogue Trader can expect to be in that thirty-to-sixty bracket, with the Rogue Trader themself probably no younger than thirty five.

Speak for yourself, my Rogue Trader is loosely modeled after Errol Flynn, so I can be Thirty-Something AND somewhat Baby-faced (and the paragon of 1930s Manliness).

Also, are those ages experienced time, real time and with/without rejuvs? My Character was born roughly 150 years ago, has lived/experienced 60-something years and thanks to rejuv treatments looks to be in his 30s. Then again, he was a Navy Officer, so he spent quite a bit of time in the warp undergoing time dilation.

>>14363567
I'm sure your subordinates appreciated the ruthlessness of the move. It's too bad you didn't blow Feckward up. That might have given her something else to pick through the wreckage of, but I guess that's what happens when you let a navigator run the gun crews.

>>14363733

Hey, given it was a relatively ordinary Dauntless chasing down what must be one of the fastest Destroyers in the Expanse, I think we did pretty well in that running battle. Lashed his hull with our lance a few times, so he's certainly got some repairs to deal with. But yeah, if only those broadsides had connected better. Feckward's got some stones making a close-range pass on a Light Cruiser in a Raider like that. Reminds me of some other crazy fool who tried such a thing... (but came off somewhat worse).

I'm surprised neither ship managed to blow out it's engines the way we were pushing them.

Maybe I'll give Armelan a call, tell her what we've found out so far. If this is what The Lady Navigator thinks it is, two Rogue Traders might be able to exploit it better than one.

In my game, Charlabelle was one stroppy bitch. I even rescued her and kept her as a "guest" after she lost her ship in a shoot out over an Eldar planet. She somehow managed to seduce all 12 armsmen guarding her and escaped with my prize Eldar nightwing plus my armsmen. House Armoland also seems to have powerful allies in the Inquisition protecting them even though they are dirt poor with zero ships.

>>14363429
Dude, FC is still around and actually (after much prodding) posted a new chapter recently.

>>14364006
In fact, here it is:

Pastebin [dot] com/ntiVY0Lt

Scroll to the bottom for easy, numberless copy-and-pasteable version. Enjoy.

>>14360592

Do recall that with items of near unique and unique rarity, you do NOT get the bonus from scale.

>>14364013
Where is chapter 3?

>>14364026
Didn't want to post it because she 'can't write lesbians worth a damn', apparently.

>>14364031
"she"? It was written by a female author?

>>14364023

Whoa, really? Can I get a page reference?

>>14364059
Yup. Search me why so many women seem to love nids, though.

OP here, what the hell? I posted this yesterday and it's still here?

Woah.

>>14364070

P. 276

>>14364087

Ah, no wonder I never noticed it. It is past the acquisition rules and stuck in the upkeep test area.

Glad I got my Omni-Scope through other means.

>>14363365
"huurm, don't mind Scruffy. Scruffy just likes ta watch."

OP
CHECK CITIES OF THE DAMNED- LET THE WORLD BECOME LIKE QUADDIS

Make it an open colony, divide it into independent fiefdoms and then keep it classified as undeveloped. With no large "official" colonial settlements, there won't be any reason to end the fief ownership- and it won't become an imperial world. It'll be stuck in this grey middle area between developing colony and full fledged member of the imperium- entitling it to protection from the Imperial Navy, but exempting it from paying a tithe or coming under closer jurisdiction from the Ministorium

>>14364101

Indeed. I managed to cockblock the Rogue Trader once from an Acquisition with that rule once.

"I want a best quality Baleful Eye!"
>Okay, Seneschal, lock it in with a Commerce test.
"Done."
>Excellent. The Merchant has one in stock.
"I want it."
>Okay, -30 for best quality, -50 for Near Unique, you're at a -80 and your profit factor is 70.
>"NOT ENOUGH CASH, stranger."
"Nuh uh! You forgot scale. +30, so we have a chance HAAAAAAAAAAAAA-."
>You don't get scale on Near Unique and up.
"What? That's not true. We have a cha-"
>No, you don't. P. 276.
"...wow. Then I wouldn't have done that. Instead I'll get a-"
>You locked it in. It's too late to go back.
"But we autofail."
>You didn't complain when you autosucceed. Autofail is in the rules as well."

The Rogue Trader then proceeded to sulk for an hour.

>>14364154
Too bad it's already got a population of 3billion.

>>14364154
Um, sorry I meant Tattered Fate.
for reference, Tattered Fate is the first part of the Haarlock Trilogy adventures for dark heresy.
You can find it and the Gazeeter on Quaddis on /rs/

>>14364160

Kinda dickish man.

>>14364193

He laughs at me whenever he autosucceeds. I did not laugh at him when he autofailed, I simply reminded him of a pair of rules that he "forgot," which made him upset.

Though I will not lie, his tears were delicious.

>>14364160

Why did he care about auto-failing? Isn't that the same as not going looking for it in the first place?

>>14364193

Read Shas's stories. The Rogue Trader deserves everything he gets.

>>14364175
>>14364175
Classify 2.5 Billion of them as "Migrant workers" Expressly for the development of the world in question.
Come on- it's out in the Kronus expanse, yes? I honestly doubt the munistorium has accurate records of it's population- quite possibly you could bluff your way into keeping the old initial founding records of the population. It might take greasing a few wheels, but hell, these kind of mistakes develops naturally all the time.

>>14364207

Into The Storm introduces a rule that says "One acquisition per player." I implemented that rule, but also gave them a free acquisition on top of that.

Essentially, he wasted his acquisition because he did not read the rules.

I am not a jerk about acquisitions. If my players can find ways to get around it, I'm usually open to the idea.

Case in point: They failed in acquiring 100,000 hellpistols for their crew. So they wouldn't be able to find Hellpistols again that session. However, when the Explorator brought up searching for 100,000 HellGUNS...

>>14364221
If you get Locke on board to help 'verify' it might be very possible indeed. At the very least, it's a compromise both parties can live with.

>>14355375

High fucking five.

>>14364013
Unwanted boner achieved. Must replace with coffee machine asap.

>>14364000
Inquisitorial contacts? Isn't that the domain of Aoife Armengarde? You know, with the whole "her daughter -might- be the offspring of an Inquisitor" deal.

>>14364082
People like Rogue Trader, sexy captains and fluff.

Call them both to a meeting. Fake an Ork attack and kill them both. Unite both fleets under a banner of revenge. Win.

Later, 'discover' evidence of the governor's heresy. He's corrupt as fuck anyway, so plant evidence of his Slaanesh worship, then kill him too and take control of the world as the interim governor.

>>14364433
Same poster, followup:

Strip mine the planet. Raise an Imperial Guard Regiment or 10. Build as much materiel as possible, sell the minerals, equip your troops then auction the planet (and the rest of the population) off to slavers.

Walk away with a substantially larger profit factor, two full fleets, a private army and a shit load of gear.

>>14364013

>6k Likes on Facebook

WHY

>>14364565
Ahahaahah oh my god, I just noticed that

>>14364565
Facebook is obviously a den of heresy and xenophilia.

>>14364565
Because it's quite well written. I bet about 5k of those likes are from women readers.

>>14364565
>6000 likes
>meaning at least 6000 views
Oh my. I REALLY didn't see that coming...

>>14364772
ahem... CHAPTER 3!!

>>14364772
Do you wonder how many gallons of sperm you are responsible for spilling?

>>14364791
I DO NOW
Picture very related.

>>14364781
Its still terrible! ;v
I'll work on it tonight and see if I can bash it together into something that doesn't make me cringe to read, but no promises I'll get around to posting it. To be honest, it probably isn't that bad..
I think the problem is it's kind of a departure from the stuff that makes up the rest of the series, so it feels really out of place and strange to write.

>>14364013
>bueno.jpg

>>14364816
>>14364843
/r/equestan: FC+DLFG lesbian sexxing pls

Ah, to hell with it. I am a glutton for punishment! Xeno-Lover 3, in all its tldr glory:

http://pastebin [dot] com/qQ0TTGLm

As I believe has been covered.. I am pretty sure I am terrible at writing lesbians. No Tyranids whatsoever in this one either - you could consider it something of a side-story, I guess, something to round out the character a little and give people a break from the bugs.

Either way, I hope you people enjoy it! Or at least, don't hate it too much. Oh, and yes, I am aware of how silly it is to try and add depth to a character in a fapfic. ;v

>>14365347
Wheres my fappingsock?

>>14365410
Ceiling Tau was around earlier, maybe he stole it?

>>14365347
I Love Lesbians

If you got girl problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.

Because I'm a tech priest

Forever alone ;_;
>>14354324
I feel your pain, bro. I feel your pain.

>>14365347
Holy shit, that was a long one.

>>14355336
The solution is simple: have the planet officially ceded to your rogue trader dynasty.

The Imperium faction is happy because the planet's still under Imperial rule, still available as a fleet base, and still (theoretically) tithing.

The Independent faction is happy because a planet run by a Rogue Trader is basically a free port anyway, except that there's slightly less chance of your ship being blown up in dock by pirates when there's an Imperial Navy presence in-system.

Offer to marry both of the faction heads as a way to seal the agreement.

>>14365846
The only kind of threesome a Rogue Trader should be getting into is the kind that ends up with the bed on fire or with you sprinting naked through the woods while being shot at by an angry governor and his men or everyone involved suddenly pointing concealed pistols at each other. Or all three.

>>14364874
The closest you'll get is a threesome between the two of them and a Tyrannid Warrior that dual-wields its penises. Come to think of it, I would wholeheartedly support such a story.

I read the fapfic and I came.

>>14366135

Something like every story on 1d4chan that involves tyranids is pretty much this.

>>14365970
Unfortunate truth.

What about Aspyce Chorda?

>>14367972
What about her?

>>14367972
>>14370416
Nice, but quite a nutcase.I'd rather do Armengarde. both mother and girl if possible !

>>14370852
Wait til Armengarde's boyfriend-Inquisitor turns up.

>>14371779
him too ? If we must....

>>14371841
This thread is going to grow into an orgy involving every named character in the Koronus Expanse, isn't it?

>>14371858
YES, JUST AS I HAVE FORESEEN IT

>>14371858
>turn into
>implying that wasn't already the point

>>14371858
No, not Winterscale again. Foll me once, they say...

>>14371889
Carefull there, Ella Ashbel. C.S. Goto might be lurking around ready to turn you into a loli again so he can eyefuck you.

>>14364211
Is there an archive of these?

>>14370852
>I'd rather do Armengarde. both mother and girl if possible !

Do we know how old the girl is?

>>14373040
In Into the storm first letter from Aoife to her daughter Igraine, dated 046.816M41, she is at the eve of her majority at that date. So, any date after => completly legale.

>>14373116
She's old enough to understand letters about the perils of being a Rogue Trader, at least. Given the business, however, that might be as young as 10. Assassins don't tend to be too picky about that sort of thing.

>>14375876
let me quote the letter : "I wrote this to you with the hopes that you will receive it on the eve of your majority, when you shall take your first steps into your inheritance." p6 of Into the Storm.
Let's consider that the letter needs 6 months to arrive to her daughter, and that really generous : in the 46th day of 40 816, she is at worst 6 months from her majority.
that's enough for any Rogue trader worthy of his title to dispose of the mother's inquisitorial boyfriend and manage to seduce both mother & daughter at the same time.

>>14376001

Not necessarily, if the Inquisitor in question is not in the Expanse or in Calixis sector.

He could be in the Segmentum Tempestus, Eastern Fringe or Ghoul Stars, and in that case even finding him could take decades.

>>14376001
What's the difficulty roll on that one?

>>14376073
I don't think it would be resolved in ONE roll, good sir. You need to plan, to meet the two, seduce them propelly, and slowly convince them/ craft a plan allowing you to get BOTH at the same time.
Hell, that's a Meta Endeavour in the making : " Seduc the hottest Rogue Traders in the Expanse, and create the most dangerous non heretical Harem ever".

>Office, consumen
Captcha suggests to bang them on your own office at the hand. A robot with a fetish ? that's really creepy...

>>14376181
>>he most dangerous non heretical Harem ever"

Bullshit. None of the planned harem sluts is even an Eversor. Not even a death cultist.

>>14376230
That was just an idea. If you want a dangerous harem, you'll need :
- Lord Sector Hax's most charming daughter, or his wife.
- the Highest ranking fair Sororitas available.
- at least one Temple Assassin, bonus points if you manage to have the 4 main temples.
- a Death Cultist, obviously.
- the Rogue Trader contingent : Madame Charlabelle, Lady Sun Lee ( one of the hardest, she has already five husbands !), Aspyce Chorda, Aoife Armengarde and her daughter Igraine, Elizabeth Orleans & Sylvia Locke.
- one Inquisitor. bonus points if we manage to get one Puritan & one Radical.
- one High marshall/ Judge.
- at least one female Imperial Governor
- at least one Navis Nobilite.
- at least one Sanctionned Psyker.
- at least one Imperial Guard general or higher.
- at least one Imperial Navy or Higher.

that's complete enough for you ?

>>14376293
Needs a murder servitor stuck on the Beserk setting.

>>14376293
"Gotta catch 'em all" and I don't mean the STDs

>>14376293
crap, I forgot :
- the highest ranking hottest Mago available
- the highest Ecclesiarchy hot priest
- last but not least : an High Lady of Terra.

>>14376328
>High Lady of Terra
Now we are getting silly here. You already mentioned highest ranking fair Sororitas available. The only way to one up this is to shag a female primarch.

>>14376366
"ambition knows NO bound", good sir.

>>14376366

Well, you know, ten thousand years in the Eye of Terror has caused some interesting transformations.

>>14376440
non-heretical harem, we said. Xeno and mutant bitches : gross, and so passé !

>>14376486
That's the Primarch of the SW you are talking too! He.. er... she was always a little wolfish...

>>14376486

Are you calling Leman Russ, one of the favoured sons of the Emperor himself, a xeno?

No, good sir, you are the heretic.

>leman, medieval term for Mistress (lover) (used as "Lemman" by Chaucer in The Reeve's Tale)

hmm...

>>14376510
Are you trying to pass a female mutant as Leman Russ, the manliest primarch ?
who is calling who as an heretic, again ?

let's stop the name calling for the moment. even though I don't think I'll ever see something like this from my RT players, that kind of ambition can be really fun for a lovable Rogue trader rival. Casanundo dynasty ?

>>14376562
>>14376551
>>14376510
>>14376502
>>14376440
>>14376293

>>14376562
you mean Lord Captain Casanova Austin Powers of the Flashheart dynasty?

>>14376617
Lord Hughe-Austin Danger Nigel Casanova Auffner Von Power the Seventh, of the Power Dynasty, Spatial Man of Mystery, Lovable Rogue Trader.

So. How does this work in such a scenario?

>>14377971
Not on the face!

What would she even have anyone chained to a pillar?

RAW You can do automatic hit unlimited range line-of-sight ejaculation with the "Divine Shot" power from DH as long as you can count your schlong as a missile weapon

>>14377971
don't forget, you have minions too. get a few chem-gelded ones to protect your harem !

>>14376580
I always liked Roboute better

My Rogue Trader, Faquarlius Jifferton Felonion LaRattlebane von Carstein House the Sixteenth, is determined to shag Taldeer herself.
Oh, yes, she will be mine.

>>14380773
godspeed, my good sir.
anyway, what kind of vessel such a Rogue Trader will use ?
Ostentious Display of Wealth obviously, Gilded Hull too, I'd add too a Melodium (got your own ship ocherstra) and an Arboretum ( a parc/hunting lodge in your own ship ? growing your own Champagne ? DO WANT!). What else ?

>>14381370
Could there be any other choice?

>>14380673
...

Her vest is almost the same as Nightmare's from SC2.

>>14381370
You mean mine?
He is very rich indeed, even by the standards of Rogue Traders. Goes around in a ship with a Ghost Field AND Runecaster.

>>14382072
yours, or that kind of Rogue Traders. I will definitively add Lord Captain Power the Seventh as an NPC, trying to seduce some of my player's crew.
A Galleon ? nice ship. I'd rather see them in a dashing Raider or frigate, though, but both are fine. A power ram seems indicated for these seducers.
any ideas on how to name the ship ?

>>14382100
The Indomitable Machismo.

>>14382100
Mine is Lord House XVI, actually.
I named mine The Love Rocket, so I can ask women if they want to take a ride on it.

>>14382108
Punchline Machismo ? Goldmember ?

>>14382132
>This is why comics written by women suck

>>14382100
the Catch them All ? the Holly Ride ? HIS Love ?

>>14382100
She's One Of Ours, Sir
Consider This A Mutiny
Those Imperials Are Right, After All

>>14382136
It helps if you look beyond the only semi-serious strip in the archive.

>>14382189
Still ruins it.
There is never a reason for a comedic comic to have the SOOPER SERIOUS STRIP or in this comic's case more than one.

>>14382210
Is it honestly super serious?

I mean, they make some jokes about an 80s cartoon, then kiss.

WHOA TOO MUCH FOR ME I NEED AN ADULT.

But you're right, only comics done by men are any good, like Ctrl+Alt+Del.

>>14382178
>>14382100
A Frank Exchange of Views, in that case.

>>14382136
To be fair, he JUST finished A; getting beaten up by a future version of himself who stole his coffee and B; went back in time to give himself a lesson. And steal his coffee

>>14382230
There is never a reason to have a strip entirely about relationships.
If you bring up Ctrl-Alt-Delete, I bring up Girls "N' Games.

>>14382274
Which requires a relationship strip?

>>14382280
I'm sorry girls don't want to touch your penis, bro.

>>14382276
I started tasting bile in my mouth at about the first panel.

>>14382316
Nice straw man, bro.

You know how the Rogue Trader always get all the bitches? Well, our Rogue Trader is especially armorous. He flirts shamelessly with every half-attractive female he meets. It`s hillarious out of game because his player is an awesome roleplayer and the character is only 1,35 metres tall.

Well, there is our Astropath (NPC), an attractive lady of undefined age, maybe a bit pale, and without eyes of course, who is acting only with icy curtesy on the Rogue Traders overbearing advances. So, my character, a former pirate voidmaster, acting as first officer and the Rogue Traders second in command always stands next to the two of them when the Rogue Trader trys his stuff, his expression one of helpless anguish. Think Zapp Brannigan and Kif from Futurama. So, he and the astropath get along well on basis of mutual respect. I respect her for her professionalism, her unique skills and the fact that she is a true example of a lady of high class. She likes me for being straight to the point, curteous and probably being the only person onboard the ship who sees anything else in her than a trophy of sexual conquest or a vile abomination (non-imperial upbringing and all that).

So the next time our Rogue Trader presses the matter a bit too far and insists that she joins him for dinner in his quarters, she tells him much to my own suprise that she already has an appointment with me. The Rogue Trader storms out furiously while she invites me into her personal quarters, a nice dinner and hot if a bit scary sexings ensued.

>mfw

>>14382432
So when does the unfortunate accident involving a faulty airlock happen?

>>14382276
Death to America, Death to Humanity

OH HO HO, I HAVE WORSE.
(Author is a fat weeaboo whale)

>>14382432
>hot if a bit scary sexings ensued.

That's the best kind.

SO RANDUM XD

>>14382462

The Rogue Trader can`t afford to kill me. I`m the only PC who is loyal to him without the need for blackmail material. Also I saved his live twice and catched a bolt shell for him when the Seneshall tried to shoot him on the bridge. We are bros.

>>14382276
Can I post comics too?

>>14382773
Christ.
Why are webcomics so terrible?

>>14382577
>you're hand
>mfw I am a hand

IT DEPENDS ON HER PERSONALITY.

(Really.)

>>14382794
Dem flippers.

>>14354130

The one on the right looks more interesting and skilled in pleasure.

>>14382108
This guy here again. I regret ever mentioning the word "machismo" in this thread. Can we go back to pratting about?

>>14382829
second.jpg
Indeed, my good sir.
let's build the perfect love vessel for a lovable Rogue trader instead !
so, a Galleon we said ? that means no prow weapons... => armoured prow and Power ram then ?

>>14382862
Naturally. As for the guns, double broadsides on both flanks. The next question is whether we want this man as our master gunner or a more feminine candidate.

Gaston : our Master of Ordnance.
Saxton Hall : our Arc-Militant.

+1 on broadsides : Sunsears instead of Mars if possible. Murder-servitors, Barracks for manly boardings ?
We also need Ostentatious displays of wealth (obvious), a Melodium, A Temple-Shrine for five minute weddings...

>>14383035
Hecutor-pattern plasma broadsides are a must. How else are we going to fling burning wads at people over 200,000km away?

>>14383054
Where's your Teleportarium?
You simply must get one for the express purpose of getting an Explorator named Scotty.

>>14383054
turbo sunsear broadsides ?
besides, other wanted component before i try to create the ship properly ?
I'll keep her name " Catch them all" for the moment.

>>14383095
I love also the Energistic Conversion Matrix, or the " Fuck this, I'm outa here" big button.

>>14361103
is it bad that i can't stop laughing as i read those stories?

>>14383229
That's your natural response to the patheticness of those ronery hambeast schlickfics.

>>14383229
I cracked up when she started chanting Mon'Keigh Fucker in the 'third' one.

>>14383229
What makes it even funnier is if you see how many people have liked it on facebook.
6k means at least 6 thousand people have both read it, and felt the need to advertise their love for Tyranid sexings to the world

>>14383118
here we go for the ship !
Essential Components :
Modified Jovian class 4 Plasma Drive, best Strelov II Warp Drive, Warpsbane Hull, Geller Field, best Ship master's Bridge, Best Pressed ganged Crew quarters, Best Double Repulsor Shield Array, good M201-b Auger Array.

Weapons :
Port best turbo best Hecutor pattern Broadside.
Starboard best turbo best Hecutor pattern Broadside
Port best turbo best Hecutor pattern Battery
Starboard best turbo best Hecutor pattern Broadside

additionnal components :
2 free Main Cargo Holds, best Arboretum, good Armored Prow, best Barracks, energistic conversion matrix, Melodium, Murder Servitors, Teleportarium, Temple Shrine, Trophy Room.

>>14383467
and I forgot the good Power Ram, and the Antic Life Sustainer, damnit !

Speed : 5
Man : +5
Detection : +15
Armor : 16
Turret : 1
Space : 56/56. Power : 83/85.
I can't really got full plasma broadside on each side, or we need to sacrifice too many useful components.

Quick question, could you house a Xenos Habitat, hidden behind some shadowblind bays? It seems to me that it would probably the best place for it when the inspectors pop round for a quick chat and a once-over.

Not least because I'm pretty sure the guy who knows nothing about the 40k setting is going to be an Ork Freeboota since they're pretty unaware of how the imperium works as well.

>>14383798

A Rogue Trader can legally trade, work with, interact with, and even hire xenos whenever they want. They do not have to hide such activities. The Warrant of Trade is enough.

>>14383798
just send the Ork cleans some forgotten black holds in your ship while it is inspected.

>>14383817
If they get chummy with them, however, they're Inquisition fodder. Likewise for bringing xenos and most xeno artefacts into the Imperium. "Fuck you, I'm taking my orks for a cruise" doesn't hold up well to an cruiser's broadside and, really, who is going to gainsay the Imperium for disposing of someone whose judgement has been impaired? You get cases of individual sanctioned xenos and or tolerated mercenary bands but any Rogue Trader who frequently associates with xenos will end up in trouble. Assuming he flaunts it or gets caught, anyway.

>>14383877

While you are partly correct, you are taking it a bit too far. Regularly interacting with xenos is not enough for a Rogue Trader to be excommunicated by the Inquisiton. Individual captains and Inquisitors might get into fights with them over it, but the mandate of the Rogue Traders allows such things outright so if the Inquisitor happens to get killed the Rogue Trader can shrug and say "self defence".

Rogue Traders have something that most of the Imperium's people don't have: rights. An Inquisitor who accuses a Rogue Trader of heresy is required to prove it in a trail, rather than just offing the trader. If someone attacks the Rogue Trader for interacting with xenos, then the attacker is the one who is breaking the law and, if the trader has the right connections, the attacker will have a bounty on his head and the navy on his ass. The Warrant of Trade is signed by the High Lords of Terra, and thus in executing their mandate a Rogue Trader bears the authority of the Emperor himself (at least in theory).

>>14384080
>>14383877

Whilst all of this is technically true, sometimes it's just less hassle all around if the Ork is hidden away behind the concealed bulk-heads when the Inquisition arrive and demand to be let on board.

Just because I *could* get away with something doesn't mean I should poke at it like a bad tooth.

Hm, what's a better way to make your starting ship, blow all of your SP on taking the biggest ship and then leaving myself room to expand into the ship's power and space surplus left over.
OR
Buying a smaller ship and filling up all of the power and space available, even if it means having SP left over?

>>14384177

Any SP left over gets added to your starting Profit Factor.

>>14384197

Does it? I thought any left over SP was lost.

>>14384177

I'd go for as big of a ship as possible, but that's just me.

>>14354130
The one on the right, the one on the left is a chaos cultist.
Eight pointed star disguised as a steering wheel.

>>14384246
but that's a steering wheel, just like on any navy officer, dumbkopf !

>>14384208

See my pic.


>>14384246

See >>14359849

>>14384290
Real steering wheels aren't tiny, made of gold and stuck to coats.
Clearly there is chaos about.

>>14384208
it is only lost if some of your players is from a "Child Of Dynasty" homeworld, as with this one, you get +3 ship points, but can no more transfer excess ship points to your Profit.

>>14382230
Yeah?

And what about Hark, a Vagrant?

Or Oglaf?

>>14383229
Well I enjoyed it and wanked over it each one more than once.

But then again I'm a fan of Girl and her Dog sex vids

another potential addition to our imperial harem, Commander Jessica Horne, from Battlefleet Koronus.

Thread started:
>Anonymous 03/24/11(Thu)19:24 No.14354130
3days and 278 posts later

mfw this thread still up

Any tips on searching pastebin? I never seem to find delicious fap fodder like this when I enter search terms like xeno-lover or the like.