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  • File : 1304450758.jpg-(1006 KB, 2000x1701, EmperasqueIsSorry.jpg)
    1006 KB Tales of the Emperasque Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:25 No.14800794  
    I'm going to dump the last ten or so chunks of the Tales of the Emperasque story, then write a few dozen more.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)15:26 No.14800801
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    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)15:27 No.14800813
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    >>14800794
    You have my undivided attention.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)15:28 No.14800816
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    YAY, HES BACK
    >> Tales of the Emperasque Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:28 No.14800818
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    9-017-001-M42
    The mists and tendrils if the Eye of Terror reach far beyond the abandoned Eldar crone worlds at their core. The twists and clouds of nebular gas and pure Warp energy conceal entire stars, rifts in the Warp you could lose a battleship in, and daemon worlds in the dozens.
    Corax, of the Raven Guard, fled here to erase his shame after he unleashed mutagens on his own Marines, in an attempt to rebuild his numbers. He traveled to the Eye find his absolution in death, but what he found instead, was Fulgrim.
    The horribly mutated Greater Daemon that had possessed his former brother was a sadistic monstrosity, who had turned the mind of the once-great Primarch into a terrified observer in his own twisted body. Corax had set his ship down on Fulgrim’s world. Much to his immediate horror, however, Fulgrim denied him an honorable death, instead tossing his ship around like a toy in tumultuous winds, killing everyone aboard except the Primarch himself.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:29 No.14800828
    Even as Corax’s Navigator died, Corax rammed the ship into one of the temples Fulgrim’s parasitic Daemon Prince had had built in his honor. Enraged, Fulgrim ripped Corax from his ship and tossed him into a pocket of the Warp, denying him eternally the pleasures of his Slaaneshi Daemon World. Every few thousand years or so, Fulgrim spared Corax a thought, lost as he was in maze of Fulgrim’s creation.
    A maze of corridors, each a different color, as labyrinthine as anything Slaanesh had ever made, with no exit, the massive complex was nothing less than a daemon itself, and it took endless delight from Corax’s stumblings. When the mighty warrior wasn’t looking, the daemon would seal passages off behind him, or re-open old ones, until Corax dropped from exhaustion. When he awoke, revitalized against his will by the energies of the Warp, he could do nothing but set off again, in the nonexistent hope that somehow, he would find a way out.
    As time is meaningless in the Warp, Corax couldn’t even tell himself how long he had been there. With every step, he moved nowhere. His mind made numb by the passage of time, the black-haired Primarch wandered around the endless labyrinth, praying endlessly to his father for release.
    “Father-Emperor, guide mercy release absolve…” he managed in his shattered mind. “find place understand help…”
    >> Tales of the Emperasque Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:30 No.14800840
    Far-off, Fulgrim smirked to himself, wrapping his four arms around the pile of quivering courtesans who held his viewing crystal aloft. They shrieked joyously and expired, their souls drained from their bodies. Fulgrim’s hideously empty pink eye sockets drank in the sights the crystal showed him. On Blekrun’s World, a Noise Marine desecrated a temple of the Omnissiah and laughed. In the depths of Terra, a Sister of Battle was overrun and sliced to ribbons by a rampaging mob. On the ruined plains of Tartarus, a Khornate daemon was drowned alive in a pool of blood by a Keeper of Secrets.
    And in the depths of the Living Labyrinth, Corax the Raven was plodding forth, his mind long since gone.
    Fulgrim sighed. How reassuring! Sometimes he wanted to make an alteration to the maze, but these little viewings always helped to remind him the sometimes, the most exquisite pleasures were drawn from delayed enjoyment.
    Corax kept reciting his remorseful litany in his mind. “Need out…desperate repent Father leave…”
    “WHAT ARE YOU EVEN ON ABOUT, CORAX?” For several seconds, the scarred Primarch continued limping forward, his eyes blank and downcast, before bumping into a wall of solid orange armor scale. His empty eyes glanced up, but he couldn’t even tell what he was seeing. The animal before him was like nothing else he’d seen in the labyrinth. It was the size of three Land Raider Spartans stacked together, with a massive, fanged jaw, and beady purple eyes. His befuddled mind couldn’t even process the possibility of someone else in the Living Labyrinth with him.
    “HEY, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. WE’RE GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE.” Corax’s empty eyes blinked, until he finally processed what he was seeing. His eyes rolled up and he fell to his knees, sobbing brokenly. “Forgiveness…forgiveness…”
    “SURE. WE’RE OFF.” And with a brilliant flash of purple light, the Living Labyrinth was no more.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:32 No.14800847
    A blob of purple mist appeared in the vehicle bay of the Ravenspire. The assembled Raven Guard, what few remained, knelt reverently. The enormous form of the Emperor appeared with a burst of displaced air, and Corax collapsed on the ceramite floor, sound asleep. The chapter Chief Librarian bent his head. “My Lord God, thank you for returning our progenitor to us. I feel his mind is exhausted, though no worse for wear after a trip through the Warp here with you.”
    “I ‘AM’ A GELLAR FIELD, WHEN I CHOOSE TO BE,” the Emperor said loftily. “SEE TO HIS WELLBEING, LIBRARIAN, WHILE I TEND TO ANOTHER. HIS LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS.”
    “It shall be as you say,” the Librarian intoned.
    The Emperor continued. “I CONFESS SOME SURPRISE. HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS COMING?”
    “The Dark Angels called ahead via astropath, my Lord God, and Lord El’Jonson himself informed us you would be visiting soon, with Lord Corax accompanying you. We shall tend to him until his mind recovers.”
    “GREAT! WOW, THAT WAS RELATIVELY PAINLESS.” The colossal Emperor glanced down at the rigid body of Corax. “UH, FOR ME. UM. ANYWAY, I SHALL RETURN WHEN I HAVE FINISHED. GOOD LUCK.”
    >> Tales of the Emperasque Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:33 No.14800857
    0-017-001-M42
    Lord Kaldor Draigo was on the verge of losing his temper. He had flown straight to Terra as fast as he could after finding Malcador the Sigilite’s message, and raced to the Imperial Palace the second he had entered the atmosphere. The Palace was in the middle of an uproar, unabated after the transmission the High Lords had made. The Palace authority had not, of course, not refused entry to the vessel containing the Lord Grand Master of the Grey Knights, but even his name couldn’t clear the brewing riots in depths of Terra. The full company of the Adeptus Custodes had assembled within the halls of the Palace, and every one of the innumerable adepts, drones, Ecclesiarchs, and pilgrims within the massive structure had been forced out, unless they were one of those lucky few who lived within the massive, country-spanning building itself.
    Draigo paced back and forth before the Eternity Gate, his every step watched with raptor-like vigilance by the gold-armored Custodes that guarded it. Under more normal circumstances, he probably would have been just a little intimidated by the pair of Warhounds tracking his every move, but he was far too irate to care.
    After nearly an hour of waiting – an HOUR! To fulfill the Terminus Decree! – the doors finally swung open, and a Custodian Terminator strode forth. He spoke without preamble. “Lord Draigo. You are expected. I apologize for the wait, but things have become hectic of late.” Without another word, he turned on his heel and walked back into the room, with the slightly shorter Draigo hot on his heels.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)15:33 No.14800869
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    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:34 No.14800874
    Oh, and because the Terminus Decree codex entry is complete crap, I'm sort of working around it by saying that the Custodes know OF it, but don't know what it IS.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:35 No.14800880
    “I can not wait any longer,” Draigo said icily. “I must speak with the God-Emperor at once.”
    The noise level around him was higher than he ever would have guessed. The thousands of tubes and conduits that lead from the floor to the Golden Throne had been unplugged from the Throne and retracted, spooled back into hidden coils in the floor. Previously, they had ferried the souls of the sacrificed psykers in the tunnels below to the Emperor, so that His life could be sustained. Now, however, the psykers were allowed to live, and the Throne was gradually being disassembled.
    “Naturally,” the Custodian replied drily. “Might I inquire as to the subject?” Draigo hesitated.
    “…No. I apologize, Lord Custodian, but I am afraid I must speak to Him and Him alone.”
    The Custodian whirled around. “Master Draigo, I can only assume you came here to enact the Terminus Decree. Not even we of the Household Guard were privy to its orders, but I can imagine them. The Emperor Himself informed us, the day after Malcador sealed those orders away, that they told you to come here and await Him. Well, He’s gone.” The light from thousands of luminators glinted off his jet-black helmet lenses. “Deal with it.”
    >> Tales of the Emperasque Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:37 No.14800905
    Draigo, for the second time in a week and the third time in his life, felt his jaw drop. He was astonished by the Custodian’s utter disrespect, but also by his knowledge of something that should have been sealed away and forbidden for everyone in the galaxy but him and the Emperor.
    “Now, you listen,” he snapped angrily. “I traveled here from Titan because I was assured that the Emperor himself would give me the command of the Decree, and so I shall wait here until he does.”
    The Custodian stared impassively at the seething Gray Knight, then shrugged, with every sign of nonchalance. “Fine. Suit yourself. Try anything insipid and we’ll rip you to shreds, anyway.” He gestured vaguely in the direction of the massive banner of Sanguinius, head bowed, that hung behind the Emperor. “There’s probably still a forklift back there for you to sit on if you get bored.”
    Draigo tilted his head, stunned. The Custodian was all right with his demand? He seized the opportunity. “Very well, thank you.”
    “Whatever you say,” the Custodian said coolly. He turned back to the Throne and walked towards it, as the Eternity Gate slid shut with an echoing CLANG. Draigo looked out over the massive room with awe. He had been here before, naturally, but never when the room was in such a state. The Golden Throne was being slowly disassembled by a cadre of Archmagi of the Mechanicum, with a ring of several hundred techpriests around the base of the colossal structure, each holding an incense stick in one hand, and a tiny sensor package in the other, those with mechadentrites holding more of either.
    The Throne was coming apart in the excruciating care of the Mechanicum, carefully detaching individual cords, boxes, and tubes, and very cautiously placing them in tiny, vacuum-rated pouches, to be carted off by servitors. The pouches were stamped with purity seals and lowered into a stasis field by another techpriest.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)15:37 No.14800908
    >>14800794
    FOREVER YES.

    HAVE YET TO FINISH COLOURING THE PICTURE.
    Will do that now, while enjoying your amazing tales.
    >> KHARN 05/03/11(Tue)15:38 No.14800919
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    >>14800880
    >Deal with it.

    lol
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:39 No.14800925
    Beyond them, a group of nearly a thousand Custodes were busily manhandling massive crates into rows, while a colossal cargolifter, driven by another Custodian, lifted them into stacks. Some of them had layers of dust on them that looked as if they had not been disturbed in years, which surprised him greatly. Didn’t sanctionites, Inquisitors, and fresh Custodes come in here all the time?
    A telepath with the markings of a Master Astropathica Adept bustled past him with a psyker-stave in his hand, mumbling to himself. “However shall we do this, oh however shall we do this…”
    Draigo lifted one armored hand. “You, there, Astropath…where is the Emperor?”
    The Astropath spun around and glared at the Grey Knight through sightless eyes. “Have you taken all leave of your senses, Custodian? How could you not know?” Without another word, he spun away and resumed mumbling without missing a syllable.
    Draigo started after him, growing more and more irritated by the second. “Wait, I’m not…” he trailed off as the muttering psychic walked away. He stopped and turned around again, fighting a growing feeling of being sandbagged. “Does nobody here but me think that the Emperor being possessed is a matter of some urgency?” he snarled under his breath.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:40 No.14800935
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    >>14800919
    Somebody actually made a picture to accompany that.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)15:41 No.14800943
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    GO GO GO!
    also,
    YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY YOUR BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    >> Tales of the Emperasque Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:42 No.14800947
    A pair of Inquisitors, both Ordos Malleus by the look of them, walked up behind the power-armored warrior and came to a halt. “Grand Master Draigo?” the elder one asked.
    Draigo spun around. “Yes. Who might you be?”
    The Inquisitor smiled. “I am Averus Valentine, of the Ordo Malleus. This is my associate, Jonash Haldebrandt. We would like your assistance.”
    Draigo crossed his arms. “And how may I serve you, gentlemen?”
    Haldebrandt spoke up. “Grand Master, am I to understand that you have seen the broadcast made by the High Lords?”
    “Naturally,” Draigo replied. “What of it?”
    “Well, Master, we’ve seen it too. We were wondering what you thought of it,” Valentine said, his face a placid, unassuming mask.
    Draigo slowly uncrossed his arms. He gestured with his hands to the corner of the colossal room, and slowly walked off in that direction. Valentine allowed a small smile for his younger colleague and followed.
    “I don’t know what you mean, Inquisitor,” Draigo said slowly.
    “I imagine you do,” Haldebrandt said mildly. “The Emperor Himself, in His divine glory, consuming a Greater Daemon of Khorne in single combat? For that matter, a Daemon even appearing in this, the most heavily guarded building in all of human space?”
    >> Tales of the Emperasque Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:43 No.14800956
    Draigo reached one vaulted wall of the room and continued along it. “It had struck me as odd.”
    “Us as well, Master Draigo. Do you think that perhaps, the High Lords might have been lying?” Valentine asked.
    “Lying? Probably not,” Draigo hedged. “Obscuring the truth? Probably. Emperor knows, daemons can be willfully summoned. An Inquisitor of all people should know that.”
    “Touché, Master Draigo,” Valentine said, a smile tugging at his lips. Heldebrandt just looked miffed. “In fact, that is what we suspect occurred. We think that the Most Divine Emperor summoned a daemon from the Warp and bound himself to its form.”
    Draigo sighed. “Under…literally any other circumstance, I imagine I would kill you both for that heresy…but I agree. That seems to be the case.”
    Valentine stopped walking, all traces of levity gone from him now. “So…what do we do about it?”
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:44 No.14800961
    Now, it's time for me to dump new stuff. I've not written much that hasn't already been posted, but I'm also actively writing right now.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)15:46 No.14800979
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    >>14800961
    TAKE YOUR TIME< WE WILL KEEP THIS THREAD BUMPED FOREVER AND A DAY< JUST DONT RUSH IT CAUSE WE WANT ALL YOUR WRITEFAGGATRY TO BE GOOD, K??????
    >mit-hinrirs
    Captcha thinks you should go to mit, they have a scholarship halled hinirs for writey people like you.
    >> Tales of the Emperasque Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:46 No.14800982
    There were only a few hundred Dark Angels present in the Rock when Lion El’Jonson awoke, but all were summoned to the Chapel to hear him speak. Several dozen Initiates and Neophytes were milling around in the vast auditorium, but the older Angels were all silent. When Lion slowly walked on to the stage and turned to address the crowd, the whole room seemed to hold its collective breath.
    Lion winced and recoiled slightly as he looked out over the assembled Marines. “Gah…can someone turn those lights down a bit? I haven’t used my eyes in nine thousand years.”
    Several Techmarines at the back of the room scrambled to obey. The lights lowered considerably, and Lion sighed. “Thanks, brothers.”
    He walked slowly to the front of the stage. “I imagine that you were rather expecting this to be a bit more formal, but frankly, this alone is more than sufficient. We have always been keepers of secrets.” He turned his back to his brothers and slowly paced across the stage.
    “I have awoken, by the will of the Emperor. He has risen from His Golden Throne, and visited the Rock personally.” The room erupted in a buzz of incredulous noise. El’Jonson stopped pacing and glared coolly at the rows of Power Armored Astartes, and the buzz died at once. After a moment, he grimaced.
    “I suppose I shouldn’t be angry, I imagine I would be skeptical too. Still, I assure you, the God-Emperor of Mankind has arisen.”
    A Techmarine stood, head bowed respectfully. “Lord El’Jonson, will He not appear before us here? So that we may resume our Grand Crusade?”
    El’Jonson shook his head ruefully. “Oh, there will be a Grand Crusade, make no mistake, but He will not come here. I doubt he would fit in the room.”
    >> KHARN 05/03/11(Tue)15:47 No.14800989
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    >>14800961
    Take your time. we like quality work.

    >FASTER, FASTER DAMN YOU! I MUST HAVE MOAR OF YOUR DELICIOUS WORDS.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:48 No.14800997
    The stunned silence couldn’t have been quieter in a vacuum. After very nearly a minute, in which even the Lion himself could barely suppress a laugh, one of the Terminators of First Company spoke up. “Um…Lord El’Jonson, what do you mean, he couldn’t fit in the room?”
    “I meant precisely what I said, brother,” El’Jonson said with restrained mirth. “He’s huge. Zyberhuge, one would say.”
    “I thought…I mean, isn’t He…He’s a divine man, but still the size of the mortal man he used to be, before He ascended the Throne, right?” the Dark Angel blustered.
    “Ah, I see what you meant. No, he isn’t, not any more,” Lion said frankly. “He’s…changed. He summoned a daemon and took control of its body. His mind travels in its body now. He also allowed the beast to psychically consume his old body, as well, so he has retained all of his old abilities, while acquiring the beasts’.”
    The room erupted in confused yelling, prayer, and questions. After nearly a minute, Lion raised his hands for silence. “Brothers, I know you’re skeptical, but I assure you, it’s the truth.”
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)15:49 No.14801009
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    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:50 No.14801015
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    >>14800989
    I LOVE that pic.
    >> KHARN 05/03/11(Tue)15:51 No.14801022
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    >>14801015
    yep
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)15:57 No.14801066
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    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)15:58 No.14801067
    “But then won’t the Astronimican become invisible?” one of the Deathwing Lieutenants asked in horror?”
    “No, no, Brother-Lieutenant,” Lion hasted to assure them. “He kept the beacon lit even while battling Horus, and while nearly dead on the Throne. He can guide its light even easier now, since he isn’t bound to a failing Throne.”
    The Lieutenant hesitantly spoke up. “So…where is he now?”
    Lion nodded. “A very reasonable question. I have no idea. He’ll contact us when the need arises, though, I’m sure.
    “In the meantime,” the Primarch said, raising his gaze to take in the entire room, “we must prepare. Six of our Companies are in the field on assignment or recruiting, so we should make ready what forces remain here. He may return at any time.” The assembled Marines rose to their feet, sensing the dismissal in the phrase. They saluted their Primarch as one, and made for the doors of the great hall, still muttering to themselves.
    Lion sighed. Azrael, the Chapter Master, remained in his seat, in the middle of the front row. When the other Angels were gone, he spoke up. “Lord El’Jonson, will you be joining us in the field when called?”
    El’Jonson looked away for a few seconds. “If my strength returns fully, yes, I will. Until then…I am in need of recuperation.”
    “I understand, my Lord,” Azrael said, masking his disappointment. He stood and saluted as well, then walked out with the others. Lion stood staring at the empty room for several seconds before letting out the sigh he had been holding.
    “It would have been easier to lie,” he said under his breath.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)16:05 No.14801128
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    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)16:11 No.14801178
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    the Emprah - deamon possessan', Draigo confusan', Corax teleportan', Lion'El wakean' and still RAWKING OUT
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)16:13 No.14801192
    9-017-001-M42
    The Daemon Prince Fulgrim lashed around his many arms in a blinding rage. “Who DARES to steal my toy from me? My own BROTHER was MINE! He was MINE! MINE, to do with as I SAW FIT!” He tilted back his head and let out a scream of frustration and disappointment.
    All about him, his lesser daemonettes shook and waved, trying to distract him from his anger, but he lashed out, whipping his scimitars at the nearest ones. The daemon-blades swept them aside, and they shrieked and bolted. “OUT! OUT! OUT!”
    They fled with indecent haste, as Fulgrim slumped to the floor. “He was mine…” he whispered. “…and he will be AGAIN!” he suddenly sprung up, and strode to the balcony of his private quarters. He stared out over the twisted ground of the Daemonworld he commanded, at the legions of tiny warp sprites and daemons that cavorted on his endless lawns, and at the Emperor’s Children and Noise Marines that guarded his walls.
    He tilted his warped head back and roared, the sound of his voice cutting through the noise. “Arise, my children! Arise, legions of Slaanesh! WE MARCH TO WAR!”
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)16:16 No.14801211
    fuck yeah storys!
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/03/11(Tue)16:27 No.14801304
    take your time, creativity doesnt pop out of nowhere in a purple mist...
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)16:37 No.14801390
    9-018-001-M42
    “Just shoot it, ya gitz!” Warboss Vogurk Hedbreakuh yelled at the squad of boyz behind him. They started milling around in confusion, and he raised his Power Klaw to the sky. “Iz da biggest and da’ strongest, so do as I says! Shoot that Squiggoth or I’ll feed ya to it!”
    Now, THAT they understood. The boyz raised their shootas and opened up on the rampaging squiggoth that had just rammed the Gargant at the back of their base. It ran forward, charging in a blind panic, caroming off of a park wartrukk and stampeding through a pack of gretchins, knocking them aside.
    Hedbreakuh snarled and raised his own Kustom Shoota. “I’ll do it myself!” he roared, charging forward. “WAAAAAGH-OW!”
    He suddenly veered off and slammed into the ground, green ichor leaking from his shoulder. “Who’s the bright git who just shot me?!” he roared at the pack of boyz who had been following him. They looked at each other uncertainly.
    “Uh, it wasn’t any of us, boss,” the Nob leading them hedged. Hedbreakuh snarled.
    “Well, it was one of you bloody gitz, and when I figure out which of youz it was, I-”
    He didn’t have time to finish the threat, as the Gargant abruptly exploded, casting chunks of metal the size of wartracks high into the air, and the Orks in the camp scampered around to avoid being crushed.
    The Big Mek stared. “ME BLOODY GARGANT! It’z done exploded!”
    Hiding in a pile of rubble at the back of the camp, Jaghatai grinned cruelly. “Ohhh, yeeeaaah…I can see why Konrad preferred to fight this way…” he whispered to himself. “But…now, I need a ride…”
    >> Tales of the Emperasque Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)16:55 No.14801547
    3-018-001-M42
    The Emperor’s imminent arrival on Cadia – as announced by a member of the Ordo Telepathica – was greeting with an odd mixture of joy, terror, and apprehension. Joy, for what loyal son of the Imperium wouldn’t be happy to hear that their Emperor had returned to them? Terror, for those of the Cadians who had turned to Chaos for personal greed were now afraid for their souls. Apprehension, because the leaders of the Cadian Task Force were all too familiar with how the previous visit to Cadia had turned out.
    Lord Castellan Creed stood on the landing pad of Kasr Vortiga and chewed his cigar. Externally, he was placid, but internally, his gut was churning. Colour Segeant Kell, as always, was stadning beside him, and, as always, noticed his Lord’s unease. “Anything I can do for you, sir?” he asked politely.
    Creed shook his head slowly. “No, Sergeant, I’ll be all right.”
    “Not what I asked, sir,” Kell pointed out. Creed was silent for a moment.
    “No, Kell, I don’t need anything, but I am wondering where the hell Deathwolf and Blenkach got off to,” he said. He glanced over his shoulder, where Clenden and Mardeus stood at attention, Mardeus nursing his head.
    “I’m sure they’ll turn up,” Kell said diffidently, “they always do.” Creed snorted. “True enough.”
    “The Emperor will arrive in about two minutes,” Mardeus spoke up suddenly. Creed nodded curtly.
    “Acknowledged. How’s your head this time?” he asked.
    “Better,” the telepath said. “It’s far less painful when I know he’s passing by. Maybe I won’t go into a coma, this time,” he added drily.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)17:00 No.14801599
    bump
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)17:16 No.14801766
    “Right. That would be preferable,” Creed chuckled. Senior Princeps Pace, leader of the Titan legion Legio Vixut II, stationed on Cadia until the Black Crusade was deemed no longer a threat, walked up to him and nodded respectfully.
    “Lord Castellan,” the impossibly pale man said, clearly as nervous as Creed was.
    “Princeps,” Creed nodded in reply. Before he could add anything to the conversation, however, the air gained a familiar purple tint. All those in attendance stood to parade-ground attention, as the air rushed back, nearly blowing Pace’s uniform hat off, and the Emperor appeared in the middle of the parade ground.
    “GENTLEMEN, IT IS GOOD TO BE BACK,” the Emperor began without preamble. The various military personnel dropped to one knee in reverence.
    “Most divine, you honor us with your holy presence,” Mardeus spoke for them all.
    “YES…WELL. I’M GLAD YOU COULD ASSEMBLE ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE,” the Emperor said, changing the subject. As if they would have done anything other than show up when He commanded, Creed thought to himself.
    “In fact, my Lord God, the Astartes and Commissariat representatives could not be here,” he said aloud.
    The Emperor shifted his gigantic bulk in surprise. “OH? AND WHERE MIGHT THEY BE, LORD CASTELLAN?” he asked. Creed felt sweat appear under his collar.
    “Forgive me, my Lord God, but I have no idea. They were supposed to be here.” Just in time, the Lord Commissar and Astartes appeared in the door to the open parade ground, with Blenkcach panting in the Marine’s long footsteps.

    sorry this is taking so long, a million little irritations pile up
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)17:32 No.14801907
         File1304458324.jpg-(1.66 MB, 2000x1701, EMPERASQUE SAYS HI TO THE HIGH(...).jpg)
    1.66 MB
    >>14800794
    FOR THE EMPERASQUE.
    >>14801766
    You have no reason to be sorry, just take your time. We'll be here to the end of days.
    Hope thet you'll be able to sort out the sources of irritation. (WITH YOUR FIST.)
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)17:33 No.14801920
    They both skidded to a halt when they saw that the gigantic Emperor was present, with both men doing their best to reach the others and take their places in line. Before they could get even half-way, however, the Emperor’s psychic voice spoke. “SO GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US, GENTLEMENT.”
    “A thousand pardons, my Lord God,” the Commissar managed. “We were in the command center. It seems that a massive Warp Rift has opened to the north.
    “OH? WELL, NO HARM DONE THEN,” the Emperor thought/spoke, to Blenkach’s immense relief. “PERHAPS I’LL SEE TO IT PERSONALLY WHEN I’M DONE HERE. IN THE MEANTIME,” he said, turning his beady gaze on Deathwolf, “I UNDERSTAND THAT HERE, OF ALL PLACES, IS WHERE LEMAN RUSS WAS LAST SPOTTED?”
    Deathwolf’s heart leapt. “Ah…no, my Lord God,” he said cautiously, as he and Blenkach took their places in line with the others. “It is suspected that the lost Thirteenth Great Company was part of the fighting to the north a few weeks ago, and there was a rumor that Lord Russ was involved, but it was only a rumor.”
    “NEVERTHELESS,” the Emperor roared reprovingly, “THERE ARE IMPERIAL TROOPS UP THERE, AND THEY NEED TO BE SUPPORTED. MOBILIZE WHAT ASTARTES THERE ARE PRESENT HERE ON CADIA, AND PREPARE THEM FOR MARCHING TO THE SITE OF THAT WARP RIFT. I’LL BE ALONG PRESENTLY.”
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)17:34 No.14801926
    >>14801907
    i squeee'd a bunch
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)17:43 No.14802005
         File1304459011.jpg-(90 KB, 800x600, Khorne__s_berserker__W40k_by_D(...).jpg)
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    >>14801926
    CRUSH ALL WHO DARE DISTRACT THE MASTER!
    FIC FOR THE FIC GOD!
    WRITEFAGGOTRY FOR HIS THRONE!
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)17:55 No.14802126
         File1304459726.png-(265 KB, 1870x959, 1298855804797.png)
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    I didn't write this, but read it anyway.

    It's canon. For me.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)18:01 No.14802182
    Two hundred miles north of the Kasr, a tear in reality stood open. The cackling hordes of Chaos spilled forth, eager to shed the blood of the four Space Marines and single Dreadnought that reached the rift in time. An apothecary, two techmarines, and the Chapter Master of the Blood Ravens stood defiant, casting down the hordes that spilled towards them, as the Dreadnought stood behind them, providing cover fire. Seven construction servitors worked feverishly to reload and repair seven auto-bolter turrets that had been hastily dropped to cover the rift.
    “Chapter Master Angelos, I have received word from the Kasr that reinforcements are incoming!” one of the Techmarines voxed, sounding distracted as he covered a servitor. The former Ogryn lumbered forward, a crate of bolts in its hands.
    “Finally! What did they decide to do instead of helping us?” Angleos yelled, hefting a krak grenade towards a roaring cultist that had made it past the hail of bolts. The grenade detonated inches from the screaming cultist, casting his entrails in the air.
    “Meeting somebody from Terra, I gathered,” the Techmarine replied tersely, then pivoted to crush the face of a giggling Slaaneshi cultist in with his mechadendrite.
    “I must say, Brother Chapter Master Angleos, this is preferable to endlessly retelling stories,” the armored form of Bjorn rumbled from his speakers. He pivoted at the waist and fired a stream of bolter shells at the flapping, winged form of a Nurglite daemon, which splattered messily at the base of the sandbags the small cluster of Marines were hiding behind.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)18:06 No.14802224
    >>14802126
    AHHAHAH.
    >>14802182
    I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW. HAHAHAH.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)18:07 No.14802232
    >>14802126

    Oh my God-Emperasque, I remember that thread.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)18:19 No.14802356
    A Lesser Bloodletter charged from the rift next, running straight through the bolter shells like they weren’t even there. It leapt the barrier and slammed into the Apothecary, who yelled in surprise and pain. Angelos hefted his Daemonhammer and slammed it into the daemons’s leg, trying carefully not to hit the prostrate Apothecary. The Khornate monster screamed, flying apart at the waist, as the Apothecary slammed his blade into the daemon’s face with every sign of relish.
    “Well met, Lord Angelos,” Bjorn rumbled. “There’s another coming out now…they’re laying on the fucking pressure.” Without another word, he fired another salvo of bolter shells into the creature, which had chosen that unfortunate time to leap up into the air. It caught the bolts square in the midsection, and tumbled directly into Bjorn’s Lightning Claw. Bjorn laughed.
    “Ah, the memories…”
    “I thought you didn’t want to tell stories,” Angleos said with grim humor. A cultist with more bloodlust and enthusiasm, in World Eaters colors, leap over the sandbags, creaming.
    “Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for his-GURK” he cut off as the apothecary grasped his head and squeezed, the unfortunate cultist’s head bursting like an overripe tomato.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)18:39 No.14802513
         File1304462353.jpg-(25 KB, 389x419, Okay_guy-(n1300465031477).jpg)
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    Your patience, please, I must perform the Litany of Temperature Settings for the Oven of Forging Food, I am creating Master Crafted Artificer Macaroni.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)18:47 No.14802569
    Oh dear God-Emperasque!
    This thread needs to be archived, or at least put on 1d4chan ASAP
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)18:52 No.14802601
    >>14802513
    Of course Lord!
    Be careful not to forget the Rites of Shutdown of the Holy Oven after removing the Master Crafted Artificer Macaroni.
    Unless you want to participate in the Trials of His Unforgiving Purifying Flames that will let the Purgation of Your Holiest of Homes commence shortly after.
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/03/11(Tue)19:06 No.14802707
    i believe we need a bump
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)19:09 No.14802737
    Tell me someone is collating all of this on the wiki.
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/03/11(Tue)19:11 No.14802749
    >>14802737
    there is a page dedicated to the emperasque on 1d4chan with a link to the first two threads
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)19:19 No.14802801
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    122 KB
    >>14802126
    >>14802182
    >“I must say, Brother Chapter Master Angleos, this is preferable to endlessly retelling stories,” the armored form of Bjorn rumbled from his speakers.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)19:24 No.14802839
    GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)19:25 No.14802844
    “As delightful as this is,” Bjorn continued, slicing a warp sprite to ribbons that quickly evaporated, “our ammunition supply can only hold out – HOLD STILL GOD-EMPEROR DAMN YOU – so long. Brother Techmarines, when are those reinforcements arriving?”
    “Under two minutes!” the nearest Techmarine yelled, seconds before catching a plate full of shrapnel from an impossibly lucky cultist with a grenade. His massive body pitched backward, colliding with the ammo servitor he had been guarding, which detonated with a crackling fireball that temporarily knocked everyone but Bjron off of their feet. Bjorn quickly hosed down the sprawling daemons with his bolter, but he only managed to kill two before the other four leapt back up, charging forward.
    “Blood for the Blood God!” one roared, leaping at the dreadnought.
    “HE’LL DRINK YOURS!” a terrifying psychic voice roared, stunning the assembled pack of fighters into silence. A huge shadow engulfed the battlefield as a vast daemon speared above the tableau, landing on the daemons with an echoing THUD.
    The bolter turrets rotated to destroy the new thread, but with a single roar that left Angelos’s ears ringing, their machine spirits were either deactivated or terrified into submission. The creature turned its attention back to the rift, and with a horrifying flash of light, the rift started to knit itself shut.
    Angleos found his mouth hanging open. He snapped himself out of his shock and gestured to his comrades. “Wait a moment, brothers, this…abomination is sealing the rift. Wait until it finishes.”
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)19:28 No.14802868
    >>14802844
    "...Damn, that's a nice sword. Might make an amazing relic."
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)19:28 No.14802870
         File1304465328.jpg-(559 KB, 800x543, 1304106053569.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)19:32 No.14802903
    >>14802844
    >“our ammunition supply can only hold out – HOLD STILL GOD-EMPEROR DAMN YOU – so long.

    I lol'd (and I need to get some mfw pictures)
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)19:36 No.14802932
    >>14802182
    Does this mean we're going with the whole "Leman Russ is a douchebag,' idea?
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)19:39 No.14802952
    BUMP FOR THE BUMP GOD
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)19:44 No.14802996
    >>14802932
    Sort of, yeah, he's not a douchebag so much, but the rest of the chapter has sort of driven his memory into the ground.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)19:49 No.14803031
    I broke my F5 key.

    Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R Ctrl+R
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)19:52 No.14803051
    >>14803031
    Firefox--> 4chan extension --> thread updater.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)19:56 No.14803068
    The enormous orange daemon glowed an eerie purple light, which seemed to make the lesser daemons and cultists wither away in its very presence. The rift slowly knitted itself back together, spilling out daemons that boiled into vapor from the creature’s presence. Before the it sealed completely, however, a chilling laugh echoed out of the hole, heralding the arrival of a Bloodthirster of Khorne.
    The monstrous orange daemon that had come to Angelos’ aid abandoned its rift-sealing sorcery and hurtled itself forward, catching the winged Khornate daemon in the midsection. It sprawled back onto the ground, but recovered quickly, beating its wings to regain its balance. It hefted a blood-drenched sword and charged the huge orange creature.
    Angleos watched in awe as the two monstrous creatures grappled, with the orange interloper seemingly holding the advantage. It swept one massive hand at the Bloodthirster’s knees, catching it off guard, and grabbed its torso with the other clawed hand, then, with a sickening rip, tore the monster in half, discarding it like a candy wrapper. It turned back to the rift, and roared so loudly that Angleos was fervently glad he had elected to wear a helmet that day.
    Finally, with a horrid ripping noise, the rift sealed itself up, the eldritch light faded, and the air settled down. The creature twisted, nonchalantly, to face the Marines. Angelos felt a strange sense of finality wash over him, as he stared certain death in the face.
    The orange daemon turned to Bjorn, who was busily scraping daemon ichor off its carapace with a pile of clothes ripped from a dead cultist. “BJORN, YOU OLD FART, I ALMOST DIDN’T RECOGNIZE YOU IN THAT COLOR.”
    Bjorn’s optics glanced at the beast. “Boss. Have you gained weight?”
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)20:00 No.14803094
         File1304467252.jpg-(13 KB, 352x298, lol.jpg)
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    >I ALMOST DIDN’T RECOGNIZE YOU IN THAT COLOR.

    LOL!
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)20:06 No.14803141
    Bjon is not supised by this tun of events appaently.

    Also: OP would owe me a new keyboad due to boken f5 and ctl+"missing lette" keys, but I'll let it slide this time
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)20:09 No.14803159
    >>14803141
    Well played.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)20:14 No.14803193
    >>14803159
    Thank you
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)20:15 No.14803198
    “Why, whatever do you mean?” Bjorn asked coyly, an instant before Angelos could make a panicked statement. “I’ve always been with the Blood Ravens.”
    The massive creature stared at Bjorn with its horrible eyes for a moment, before shrugging. “EH. YOU SAY SO. NONE OF MY BUSINESS.” He turned to Angelos, who was staring at the exchange with a look on his face that could modestly be described as ‘stupefied.’ “YOU MUST BE GABRIEL ANGELOS. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PROMOTION. I WAS BRIEFLY CONCERNED THAT I WOULD HAVE TO DECLARE YOUR ENTIRE CHAPTER EXCOMMUNICATE TRAITORIS.”
    Angelos finally found his wits. Sort of. “Um…who are you?”
    “WHAT, ARE YOU DENSE?” the creature replied. After a few awkward seconds, it laughed. “I JEST. I AM THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND, REBORN IN A NEW BODY.”
    If the word ‘stupefied’ had described Angelos before, ‘flabbergasted’ would work now. The huge creature turned back to Bjorn, who had discarded the cultist’s rags, apparently satisfied with his cleaning job. “SO, HOW DID YOU KNOW WHO I WAS?”
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)20:26 No.14803283
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    >>14803198
    MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)20:28 No.14803300
    >>14803198
    It was totally the hairstyle
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)20:35 No.14803370
    The elder dreadnought shrugged his artificer adamatium shoulders. “We fought under the same sky, once. Leman Russ and I battled at your will on Ildrave III, and I met you in person after the battle, if you’ll recall.”
    “WELL, YEAH, BUT I WAS HUMAN THEN.”
    “You’re the memorable sort, Sire,” Bjorn said, using the honorific that probably hadn’t been used to describe the Emperor in eight thousand years. “Besides, I could…sense it. I’m no psyker, thankfully, but I remembered that you used a similar ability to seal a rift on Klenda Prime. I only heard about it in the after-action report, but…”
    “YEAH, THAT WAS ME. GOOD MEMORY.” The Emperor turned to the apothecary, who had fallen to his knees. “SO, ARE YOU GOING TO SEE TO THE BROTHER TECHMARINE?”
    “What? Oh…” the apothecary turned to the techmarine who had been flung into the explosion, who was twitching feebly, the back layer of his armor shattered. The apothecary struggled to his knees and hurried over to the marine, slipping a probe into the downed techmarine’s armor. The other techpriest knelt reverently before the Emperor, who sighed.
    “HONESTLY, YOU DON’T NEED TO DO THAT.”
    The Techpriest looked up at him, his mask hiding his confusion. “But…my Lord God, I am simply offering you a sign of my devotion.”
    “YOU’RE AN ASTARTES, YOUR GENE-SEED DISTILLED FROM MY OWN ESSENCE. YOU DON’T NEED TO SHOW ME DEVOTION THROUGH ANYTHING BUT ACTION. NOW GET UP, REALLY.”
    The techmarine (and Angelos) scrambled to their feet, while the Emperor looked back to Bjorn. “SO, BJORN, IS THERE ANY TRUTH TO THE RUMOR THAT LEMAN RUSS HIMSELF IS LEADING YOUR THIRTEENTH GREAT COMPANY INTO BATTLE, HERE, RIGHT NOW?”
    “I haven’t the foggiest idea, Boss,” the dreadnought said. “He disappeared into the Eye of Terror over nine thousand years ago. If he’s here, then it must be…”
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/03/11(Tue)20:41 No.14803431
    F5ING LIKE A MONKEY ON METH
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)20:44 No.14803456
    “THE WOLFING TIME, YEAH, I GATHERED. YOU GUYS PICKED THE WEIRDEST NAME FOR IT, THOUGH.”
    “I loathed it, Sire, always have,” Bjorn said disgustedly. “Back in my day, we used wolves as mounts, maybe, icons, symbols. We were never literal wolves, but now…fuck, the lead Space Wolf on this planet is named Deathwolf, Wolf Lord of the Wolf Pack. Fuck. That’s just perpetuating a stereotype.”
    “HAHAHAH, YEAH. WELL, HEY, LISTEN, IT WAS GREAT TALKING TO YOU AGAIN, BUT I SHOULD REALLY GO BACK AND CHECK IN WITH CREED. I’LL KEEP MY EARS OPEN REGARDING THE RUMOR THAT RUSS HIMSELF IS SOMEWHERE ON THIS ROCK.”
    “Oh, no hurry, Sire,” Bjorn said hastily. “He’ll turn up if we really need him.”
    “SUUUURE,” the Emperor drawled, not buying it for a moment. “I’LL TELL HIM YOU SAID HI.” With a flash of purple light, the huge Emperor disappeared. Bjorn glanced up momentarily, the dreadnought equivalent of a shake of the head.
    “What a kidder.” He turned to Angelos, who was looking seriously stunned. “You okay, Chapter Master Angelos?”
    Angelos turned to look Bjorn in the optics, looking stunned. “How…you…is it true? You walked under the same sky as the Emperor Himself?”
    “Sure did,” Bjorn said, wandering around the sandbags to the piles of discarded clothes and weapons where the evaporated daemons and cultists had once lain. “Really, are you okay? You’re looking kind of wobbly. Here,” he said, lifting a discarded combi-bolter with his lightning claw. “Take this. A little looting after a battle always cheers you up.”
    >> KHARN 05/03/11(Tue)20:47 No.14803475
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    >>14803456
    MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/03/11(Tue)20:47 No.14803482
    >>14803456
    >"Take this. A little looting after a battle always cheers you up.”

    Man this is AWESOME!
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)20:50 No.14803503
    >>14803475
    DAT IMAGE

    Also Bump for the God Emperasque
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)20:53 No.14803520
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    >>14803475
    Daaaaaamn, that bike has some awesome handlebars if you know what I mean.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)20:58 No.14803568
    >>14803482
    I awww'd. I was worried at first that Angelos was going to ask Bjorn to TELL THEM ABOUT WHAT IT WAS LIKE
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)20:58 No.14803573
    >>14803568
    Naw, man, that was part of their bargain! No stories from Bjorn unless he volunteers them.
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/03/11(Tue)21:08 No.14803660
    it would be amazing if you some how incorperated the truly immovable rod into this st- *CLANG*
    OH GOD WHAT WAS THAT?!!?!?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)21:11 No.14803691
    Two hundred miles south, Logan Grimnir, the Great Wolf of the Space Wolves, stood uneasily alongside Deathwolf and Creed. The rest of the council of war Creed had gathered had dispersed back to their commands, with orders to seize as much territory back from the Black Legion that they could, now that Abbadon was safely neutralized. The Titans under Pace were advancing into the vanguard, where the second company of the Dark Angels and seventy five Blue Daggers were pinning the rearguard of the Legion down. True to their orders, Deathwolf and Creed had assembled their forces to help seal the rift, but when the Emperor had seen how small it was, he simply told them to stand by, so that he could seal it himself.
    Now, Grimnir, who had been aboard his vessel in orbit both when the Emperor first arrived and when he had returned, had used a drop pod to deliver both himself and three other First Great Company veterans to the surface, to meet the Emperor in person. The other three had found excuses to linger, for the chance of seeing the Emperor Himself, and Grimnir hadn’t objected.
    With a brilliant flash of purple, the Emperor appeared before them, once more in the middle of the courtyard. Grimnir knelt, as did Creed and Deathwolf. “My Lord God, it is a true honor to stand before you now,” he began.
    “SO STAND. DON’T KNEEL LIKE YOU’RE TYING YOUR SHOES. REVERENCE FROM AN ASTARTES OF ALL PEOPLE IS NEEDLESS. YOU TOO, LORD CASTELLAN CREED,” he added. “IF ANY MORTAL MAN HAS EARNED THE RIGHT TO STAND BEFORE ME UNBOWED, IT IS YOU.”
    “My thanks, Your Divinity,” Creed said, creaking to his feet once more. Deathwolf and Grimnir stood as well. “Might I ask how the battle went?”
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)21:13 No.14803714
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    IT RETURNS!
    >> KHARN 05/03/11(Tue)21:17 No.14803763
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    >>14803691
    WOOT
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)21:17 No.14803768
    hey someone else, did you ever read a webcomic called cry havoc by chance?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)21:18 No.14803778
    >>14803768
    Nope. Never even heard of it. Is it any good?
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)21:20 No.14803810
    >>14803778
    nope, it ended a while ago, i just remember someone called 'someone else' who used to post on it.

    Anyway, keep up the good work man, the Emperasque is awesome
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)21:26 No.14803886
    I can't express in words or reaction images how awesome Bjorn is with his slightly cavalier attitude to things.

    And Emps is a wise-cracker as always.

    oh, and F5ing like a woodpecker on speed!
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)21:27 No.14803901
    > “Take this. A little looting after a battle always cheers you up.”

    YES!
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)21:41 No.14804107
    Why?

    Why is this so entertaining?

    Probably because it takes the absurdities of the Warhammer 40k universe and makes them better.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)21:42 No.14804119
    >>14804107
    That's what I'm going for, yeah.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)21:43 No.14804138
    “ONE TECHMARINE WOUNDED, NO OTHER LOSSES,” the Emperor roared. “CHAPTER MASTER GABRIEL ANGELOS OF THE BLOOD RAVENS LEAD A FORCE OF FOUR, AND I ARRIVED JUST IN TIME TO KILL A BLOODTHIRSTER AND SEAL THE RIFT.”
    “A Bloodthirster, my Lord God? A worthy foe indeed,” Grimnir said. “By any chance, did you see a dreadnought with the Blood Ravens?”
    “…NO,” the Emperor said evasively. “ANYWAY, GRIMNIR, I’M GLAD YOU’RE HERE. I WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAD HEARD THE RUMOR THAT LEMAN RUSS HIMSELF IS LEADING THE THIRTEENTH GREAT COMPANY HERE, ON CADIA.”
    “It is true, my Lord God,” the Space Wolf said, apparently taking the Emperor’s word for Bjorn’s absence. “The Father of the Pack leads the Lost Great Company. I have no idea where they are right now, but I’m sure they could be found with sufficient resources.”
    “NO NEED FOR EXPENDITURE, GRIMNIR,” the Emperor replied. “THEY ARE HERE TO BATTLE THE FORCES OF THE TRAITOR PRIMARCHS, AS RUSS HIMSELF COMMANDED THEM TO DO. NOW THAT HE’S HERE, THEY’LL KEEP DOING IT, I’M SURE, BUT HE’LL BE LEADING THEM HIMSELF. I WILL MERELY NEED TO FIND THEM…AND I’LL FIND HIM.”
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)21:48 No.14804214
    >>14804138
    >“By any chance, did you see a dreadnought with the Blood Ravens?”
    >“…NO,”

    Why do the Magpies make me smile so?
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/03/11(Tue)21:50 No.14804235
    >>14804138
    >“By any chance, did you see a dreadnought with the Blood Ravens?” “…NO,”

    (honestly, i hope that im doing the green text right)
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)21:51 No.14804246
    >>14804214
    Because they stole your ability to frown when you weren't looking.
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/03/11(Tue)21:51 No.14804247
    GOT IT RIGHT BITCHES!
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)21:57 No.14804329
    >>14804246
    PRAISE THE MAGP- RAVENS AND THE KNOWLEDGE THEY STE- GUARD!
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/03/11(Tue)22:07 No.14804463
    oh magpies, what will you nab next?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)22:08 No.14804476
    Sorry this one's taking so long, guys, I've been conversing with entities. Back though.
    ARE YOUR BODIES READY FOR LEMAN RUSS???

    Let's see, if Jaghatai is voiced by Randy Savage, who should Russ be?
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:09 No.14804492
    >>14804476
    Sean-mother-fucking-connery.
    The perfect mix of douchey and surprisingly awesome
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:09 No.14804493
    Prestige Class: Blood-Raven
    Prerequisites: at least 1 level in thief and 1 in paladin
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:10 No.14804495
    Hulk Hogan.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:14 No.14804534
    Arnold Schwarzenegger
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:16 No.14804554
    >>14804534
    Damn right. Conan the Space wolf. I can see it now
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:19 No.14804589
    See, I would have gone with Rowdy Roddy Piper, but that's just me.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:22 No.14804620
    second this
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:25 No.14804633
    Sean Connery
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:29 No.14804692
    Sean Connery
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:32 No.14804718
    Horo the Wise Wolf

    The body of a little girl, the appetite, attitude, strength, and drinking capacity of a drunken Viking berserker Primarch.
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/03/11(Tue)22:33 No.14804728
    Bruce. MotherFucking. Campbell.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)22:34 No.14804744
    Clear on the other side of the planet, where the rifts of Chaos grew the largest, and where Abbadon had landed his forces first, a small band of Space Wolves were carving a path. They had started two hundred strong, but they had now been whittled down to a mere fifty. Their numbers didn’t translate to success or failure in battle, however.
    For they were led by a Primarch.
    Leman Russ himself had emerged from a warp rift at the onset of the Black Crusade, leading his Lost Thirteenth Great Company against the armies of Abbadon. He was cut off from the Imperial command, but still he had two hundred Space Marines at his back. That was more than enough.
    Fully a month had passed since he had reappeared, and he had cut a swathe through the forces of Chaos Undivided. Now, however, he was pinned, with two Chaos Warhounds pouring energy blasts into the surrounding structures. A collapsed agricultural station was providing them with limited cover, but it could never have been enough to block that much fire continually.
    Most of the Wolves were down to melee weapons, or improvised explosives. A few men had salvaged equipment from fallen enemies, but most could only hope for a chance at hand-to-hand.
    Russ leaned back against a collapsed brick wall, flinching at the pain from a seeping wound on the back of his hand. Their few living gunners were hammering away at the spotters for the Warhounds’ guns, but the incoming barrage was undiminished.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:40 No.14804826
    Please oh please make Leman russ Horo. We already have Emperasque! Please!
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)22:41 No.14804839
    >>14804826
    goddamn no
    but i do have a similar idea
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/03/11(Tue)22:41 No.14804845
    >>14804826
    that would be funny as hell
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:45 No.14804886
    >godamnit yes!

    I knew you would come round!

    HORO AS LEMONS RUSS OR I WILL KILL YOU!
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:45 No.14804892
    >>14804845
    ...not really.

    A goddamned almost always drunk superhuman viking has enough room for lulz already
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)22:46 No.14804903
    >LEMONS RUSS
    now there's an idea, Spice and Wolf/40k crossover sex fiction.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:51 No.14804960
    >>14804892
    Not really, besides. Long held in /tg/ canon is Horo Leman Russ.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:51 No.14804964
    >>14804903
    Not sure if want.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:52 No.14804981
    Doesn't matter if it is canon. OP already said he wasn't doing it
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)22:57 No.14805028
    >>14804960
    /tg/ canon also holds that the Dark Eldar are all Davi Bowie clones on methamphetamine, and that Samus Aran is a Primarch.
    Shit that sounds awesome, and is hilarious, but won't fit in a story about the Emperor being a Terrasque.

    I can't believe I just typed those words. I can not fucking believe I just typed those words.
    what the ffffuuuck

    Anyway. I'm making this story such that it wouldn't take a huge modification of canon to make it fit, save for those one or two things, like Draigo not getting sucked into the Warp, and the Emperor eating a Khornate daemon who is a a Terrasque.

    tl;dr writefag fiat
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:58 No.14805038
         File1304477921.jpg-(556 KB, 1440x900, horo 40k.jpg)
    556 KB
    horo russ for president
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:59 No.14805041
    >>14805028

    So if the Spice Wolf Primarch isn't a go, then what's the "similar idea"? Or should I just be patient and wait for the unveil?
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)22:59 No.14805044
    >>14805038
    WHY THE FUCK IS HORO RUSS AN ULTRASMURF?!?!
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:00 No.14805054
    >>14805044
    The magpies stole her armor and that's all she could find.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:01 No.14805061
         File1304478073.png-(271 KB, 390x596, horolol.png)
    271 KB
    >>14805044
    because I couldnt find another hororuss photo
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)23:01 No.14805064
    >>14805041
    here is a hint
    <---

    also
    KEEP ARGUING, guys, you all holding a conversation is far more interesting than me dumping 300 words, vanishing for 20 minutes, and maybe someone going BUMP, then me posting again

    also i love fanartsssss
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:01 No.14805065
    >>14805038

    >space_and_wolf.jpg
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:02 No.14805076
    >>14805064

    The bottle of tiger balm I have sitting on my desk is a hint?

    ...Tiger Balm is spicy. SPICE and Wolf. HORO PRIMARCH IS A GO
    >> i meant this picture Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)23:03 No.14805086
         File1304478211.png-(9 KB, 504x414, 1298369130528.png)
    9 KB
    >>14805064
    Russ felt a patter of brick chips land on him from a near miss and grimaced. If he had a single grenade left, he reflected, he would make those spotters acutely regret getting so close…
    He glanced from side to side, taking stock of the rest of the people huddled in the expansive building. A few Wolves with ranged weapons – what few they had – were hiding at the windows, taking potshots at the enemies who were guiding the Warhounds. Those without were picking up chunks of building or furniture, barricading the doors. As if it would matter when the enemy came in through the roof with Titans.
    A few of his wounded men were stretched out on the floor, some comatose, some just staring blankly, not seeing anything, and a few howling with pain. A PDF medicae had been lucky enough to stumble onto the Wolves when they were charging through the ruined city, and was tending to the gigantic Marines as best he could. The lack of proper medical equipment, the Marines’ modified genetic structure, and their wolf mutations were not helping. Russ’ eyes fell on the meager pile of food in the middle of the room, under an iron table for cover. It wouldn’t last them a day. If they hadn’t collapsed the buildings around them to slow down the Titans, or if the Titans were larger than Warhounds, they probably would have arrived already, but they had been blessed enough to avoid that.
    The last thing to catch his eye was a small group of civilians who had been hiding in the building prior to his arrival. They had been desperate and scared, defended only by a brave squad of Kasrkin who had been protecting them until their numbers had gotten too low, then drawn the fire of the nearest Chaos forces and made a break for it, drawing the daemons off of the civilian’s scent.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:04 No.14805103
    >>14805038
    How do you defend the fact that she is clearly a MUTANT and must be PURGED.
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/03/11(Tue)23:06 No.14805116
    >>14805064
    forgot the pic?
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:06 No.14805126
    >>14805103
    Because shes a WOLF OF WOLF OF FENRIS WHO ALONG WITH HER WOLFBROTHERS AND WULFEN HAVE COME DURING THE WOLF TIME TO SERVE THE ALLFATHER AS HIS WOLF OF JUSTICE TO SEEK OUT ALL THOSE WHO WOULD STAND AGAINST THEM!
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:08 No.14805137
    >>14805103
    emps is a tarrasque Im sure there's a logical explanation somwhere
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:10 No.14805160
    >>14805086
    said food should be beer! Everyone knows space marines dont need food!

    But space wolves... they need FERNISIAN ALE and boatloads of it
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:12 No.14805192
         File1304478772.jpg-(139 KB, 769x1000, Grendel_3.jpg)
    139 KB
    waitwaitwait...the Space Wolves...Oh pleasepleaseplease tell me we're getting Grendel!
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:12 No.14805194
    >>14805160
    AND THUS! HORO BEING THE GODESS OF HARVEST GIVES THE SPACE WOLVES A GREAT HARVEST OF HOPS!
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:15 No.14805217
         File1304478936.png-(228 KB, 633x600, 1300685918654.png)
    228 KB
    >if Grendal and group are mentioned somewhere in this writefaggotry
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)23:15 No.14805223
    No clue who Grendel is

    >>14805194

    shut
    up
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:18 No.14805246
         File1304479109.jpg-(423 KB, 2000x1473, no one expects the Imperial In(...).jpg)
    423 KB
    >>14805126
    Wolf of Fenris? Allfather? You reveal your true colors, heretic! A heretic party escort van has already been dispatched to your location. Please stand by and await the heretic party escort van. You may fall to your knees and beg the Emperor's forgiveness if you think that will help.

    Ave Imperator

    =][=
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:23 No.14805284
    >>14805223
    Grendel was a Dark Heresy character. Simple adept with no combat skills who, through ridiculously lucky rolls, managed to pull off some seriously insane shit.

    http://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_Guy_Who_Cried_Grendel

    Give it a read sometime. And by sometime, I mean after you have finished this magnificent tale, o glorious writefriend.
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/03/11(Tue)23:27 No.14805329
    FOR THE WOLFPOROR
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:28 No.14805345
    >>14805284
    It was also fake, why bother referencing something that didn't happen?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/03/11(Tue)23:36 No.14805425
    A few were just too old to have fought, one or two were PDF who were too badly wounded to be of any help, some were just ordinary citizens of Cadia who had mustered out of the PDF when they were old enough and had something to protect...and then there was her.
    A small girl, most easily discernable from the others because she wasn’t moving at all. She was sitting against a wall, her face utterly blank. She was just holding her arms to her sides, shuddering when a particularly loud explosion rocked the walls.
    Russ had no idea how long she had been in this hellhole, but she was clearly shocked beyond normal medical aid. All Cadians receive medical and combat training when they come of age, but she couldn’t have been more than fourteen.
    One of his Marines let his replacement relieve him at the window, and jumped the two stories down from the catwalk below the window to the floor. He landed with a loud CLANG, and several civilians shuddered or started. The girl didn’t even flinch. Russ shot the Marine a reproving glare, but didn’t wait to see if he caught it.
    The girl had been alone when the Marines found her in an adjacent building, sitting alone in a wrecked apartment, her family smeared over the walls, and a Chaos cultist brandishing a weapon, jumping at the girl. She had just stood there, her face utterly blank, either not seeing or not comprehending what was going on. Russ had shot the cultist neatly in the back in mid-jump. The poor thing didn’t even flinch, just walked out of the apartment after Russ with all the emotion of a servitor.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:37 No.14805434
    >>14805345
    >It was also fake
    >http://www.fantasyflightgames.com/ffg_content/dark-heresy/pdf/previews/radicals-preview-1-web-qu
    ality.pdf
    >Implying imperal records are faked
    Oh yeah, that's a heresy. Stay there while the Inquisition comes to...correct you.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:41 No.14805478
    >>14805434

    >>Implying that imperial records AREN'T Faked.
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:54 No.14805584
    BUMP for the love of god BUMP
    >> Anonymous 05/03/11(Tue)23:58 No.14805635
         File1304481527.gif-(228 KB, 160x120, cool story bro.gif)
    228 KB
    waiting on op~

    >fracturing orksho
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)00:01 No.14805663
    Russ had seen civilians in shock before, of course, and even a few of his more disappointing Blood Claws. He wasn’t really aware of why this one poor girl had elicited such a response from him, on reflection. Maybe it was the fact that he had spent literally thousands of years in the warp, only to see such despair on his return. Ultimately, it didn’t matter.
    A shrill whistle announced that a shell from the Warhounds was incoming. His Marines – the ones who could still move – leapt to cover, sheltering themselves with agricultural equipment. The civilians followed suit a moment later, and the medicae lay down between two injured Space Wolves, allowing their heavy armor to shield him from debris.
    The shell slammed into the roof of the building, bringing down huge chunks of the walls, and shattering another chunk of the abused roof. One vast piece of masonry fell directly for the huddled civilians, and Russ launched himself without conscious thought towards them, bracing just in time to catch the stone block before it dropped on the innocents below.
    Russ couldn’t suppress a groan of pain feeling the thousand pound block of rock slam into his back, and the civilians beneath scrambled out from beneath him. All except the girl, who just sat there, unflinching, even as the Primarch tottered over her.
    Russ gritted his teeth. “Run, girl, if you want to live!” he managed to snarl. She slowly shook her head.
    “No. Nothing hurts me now.” With a gasp of agony, Russ finally let the thousands of years lost in the warp, month of constant combat, and days of malnourishment take their toll, and the block slipped from his grasp.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)00:05 No.14805702
    >>14805223

    http://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_Guy_Who_Cried_Grendel

    Read and be enlightened, oh honored writefag.
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/04/11(Wed)00:10 No.14805749
    BUP FOR ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY!!!

    >Doctor ylevices
    we got a name for the medica
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)00:19 No.14805830
    Emperasque storytime! Yay!

    Yours is the writefaggotry that will pierce the heavens, Someone else.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)00:19 No.14805836
    He fully expected to see the girl crushed to death under the rock, but by some Emperor-blessed miracle, she was just far enough away to avoid being crushed. He slipped down on his haunches, panting for air and feeling his abused muscles screaming. The civilians clustered around him, offering thanks, but he heard none of it. He stared at the girl angrily.
    “Did you not see, girl?! Why did you not move?!”
    “I saw it was going to miss,” she said blankly, to his surprise. He had been expecting her to say she didn’t matter enough, or that she would have welcomed death.
    “What do you mean?” he asked, still pissed off. She shrugged, a more human reaction than he had seen from her thus far.
    “The ceiling piece wasn’t big enough, and your back is sloped at an angle that would have permitted it to miss me.”
    Russ stared at her again, his anger fading. Before he could ask another question, a horrifying CRACK announced that the barricades had failed somewhere. A pack of screaming Chaos cultists flowed into the room at the far side of the vast building, firing laspistols with their tradition lack of accuracy. Several Wolves popped out of the cover they had been sheltering in while the masonry fell and sniped the cultists, their sudden appearance taking the cultists completely by surprise. Several fell at once, only to be trampled under the feet of the next dozen. They streamed into the room, vaulting equipment and bodies, firing wildly.
    Inevitably, the volume of fire took its toll. One Space Marine collapsed, his ragged armor unable to block the dozens of lasbolts that had impacted it. Ignoring his pain, Russ sprinted the few dozen meters between him and the cultists, leaping into their midst, howling like a man possessed.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)00:34 No.14805947
    The cultists swarmed over him, roaring their hate or delirious joy, stabbing and kicking, too close for guns. Russ grabbed one tall cultist and swung him about like a club, smashing rows of the cultists aside.
    One of his men seized the opportunity to get behind a huge truck that had been parked in the building, and threw himself against it with all the might his power armor could lend him. The machine bucked and slammed into the wall next to the door that had been breached by the cultists, knocking several off their feet. With another titanic effort, the marine slammed into the truck again, blocking the door off. A few quick shots with the laspistol he scooped up from a dead cultist set the promethium tanks ablaze, the conflagration spreading out into the streets, eliciting some rewarding shrieks as the cultists beyond burned alive.
    Russ threw his improvised weapon into the burning truck, and wearily plodded back to the medicae. The medicae had been fortunate enough not to have acquired more than the one new patient in the collapse of the roof and the cultist attack, the Marine who had taken too many hits. He propped the wounded Marine up against the wall and glanced him over, shaking his head wearily.
    Russ sat down heavily next to the medicae, allowing a slight moan of pain from the many cuts he had accumulated in the fight to escape his lips.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)00:46 No.14806053
    To his surprise, the civilians who had run back into cover during the fighting clustered around him. One fellow who looked old enough to have fought in the Twelfth Black Crusade nodded respectfully, making the sign of the aquila with his hand. “Thank you, Lord Russ, we’d be dead without you.”
    Russ nodded wearily, trying to smile. “You’re welcome, sir, but I must ask that you stand back. My blood is very acidic.” The civilians scrambled back, save for the medicae, who daubed a small patch of gauze on the marine who had been shot. Russ sighed and tilted his back, letting his weariness show completely. He shucked his gauntlets, letting them fall to the ground, and let his hands fall to the ground. His weariness overcame him, and he shut his eyes for a moment, trying to find a moment’s peace.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)00:56 No.14806126
    Aren't the Primiarchs supposed to be so awesome that they are to regular space marines what regular space marines are to People?
    Or is that the Custodes, because it might be them, and the Primiarchs are even more awesome then that.

    NOT that I'm trying to insult the story, I really like it.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)01:00 No.14806172
    >>14806126

    Keep in mind this is only shortly after Russ manages to get out of Warp, and after a grueling campaign outnumbered and undersupplied. You're not seeing Russ at his top form.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)01:00 No.14806173
    >>14806126
    Emperor > Primarch > Custodian > Grey Knight > Astartes > Sororitas > everybody else, in terms of raw strength.
    Russ has been fighting off-and-on for almost ten thousand years. He's a bit tired.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)01:02 No.14806189
    >>14806126
    I absolutely love the more humanist side he's adding to the SPEHSS WULVES.
    Canon wise they are said to put the lives of others infront of them, litterally tossing guardsmen out of artillery bombardments and taking it facefirst themselves.

    Russ has been in the eye of terror for a good thousand years, hes going to be very very very tired
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)01:03 No.14806197
    >>14802870
    Malcador is on his shoulder. Do you know what that means?

    Emperasque must revive his best bro from the past!
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)01:05 No.14806207
    >>14806197
    That is not the Emperasque about which I am writing, that is the Emperasque who is the ideal form of Emperasque, a distilled form perhaps, a pinnacle.
    Also come on, Creed pauldrons? Awesome as hell, retarded to write.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)01:05 No.14806214
    A sudden warmth on his hand snapped him back. He started and stared down at the girl, who had decided to ignore the tainted blood, and was sitting next to him, still staring straight ahead. She lifted his hand and set in her lap with visible effort, and he couldn’t help but grin. “Tainted blood doesn’t scare you, eh, girl?”
    “Nothing does,” she said simply, without a trace of irony or deceit. “I don’t really feel much at all at times like this.
    Russ nodded knowingly. “Ah, lass, that’s not always a bad thing.” He balled his hand into a fist and she placed both of her own hands over it, gazing listlessly over the chaotic room. “Take now. I don’t feel afraid either.”
    “You’re a living Primarch, the Emperor’s will and blood,” she said matter-of-factly. “What should scare me is not what should scare me.”
    “Oh? And why do you say that?” Russ asked in surprise. “Why do you think I’m not just another Space Wolf?”
    “Because your image is recorded alongside the Emperor’s and Sanguinious’s images in the Hall of the Council,” the girl said, “and it was taken live on Terra at a meeting of the War Council.”
    Russ stared at her, an eerie feeling of trickling ice in his spine. The War Council has disbanded almost eleven thousand years ago. The Hall of the Council had burned to the ground during his brother Horus’s betrayal shortly thereafter. A picture of the Hall would have to have been just as old. She had identified him as being more than a Marine from a picture of a picture of him eleven thousand years ago?
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)01:06 No.14806217
    >>14806173
    >>14806173
    >>14806173

    Emperor > Kaldor Draigo > Primarch > Custodian > Grey Knight > Astartes > Sororitas > everybody else, in terms of raw strength.

    FTFY
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)01:06 No.14806224
    >What should scare you is not what should scare me
    ftfm
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)01:11 No.14806270
         File1304485875.jpg-(23 KB, 302x285, Tyrannid I Came.jpg)
    23 KB
    >>14806214
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)01:13 No.14806285
    >>14806224
    I think you actually mean to correct that,
    >"What should scare me is not what should scare you."

    Unless she's somehow saying she's more badass then he is.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)01:14 No.14806291
    “The Hall of the Council, eh? You’ve visited Terra?”
    “I could never do that, it would be too much,” she said softly, a flicker of discomfort crossing her face. “It would be home.” Russ looked around, confused. A planet full of daemons and a butchered family, and she thought somewhere else was a bad place to be?
    The medicae caught his eye, and mouthed something. Russ blinked, and the medicae did it again slower: M P D
    Russ caught on. The girl was mentally unstable before he even arrived?
    “Well, lass, stick with us, and we’ll get you out of here,” he said, with all the false sincerity he could muster.
    “I know what you can do, Lord,” she said flatly. “I was a Sister once.”
    “You read about those Sororitas a lot, then, lass?” Russ hazarded. The Sororitas were a recent addition to the Imperium, but he had seen some fighting earlier in the campaign, and a member of the PDF had explained what they were.
    The girl shook her head, tossing her ragged black hair in front of her face. “No. I was quiet once.”
    “Quiet…what do you mean?” Russ asked in confusion.
    “I don’t have a soul.”
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)01:15 No.14806297
    >>14806285
    No, she doesn't feel fear at all, ever, and she is saying that if she were normal, what would scare her (normally) would probably not scare Russ (normally).
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)01:15 No.14806298
    >>14806291
    Horo is a Sister of Silence?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)01:22 No.14806348
    Russ felt his skin crawl as he stared at the teenaged scamp. What the hell did she mean? If she were a blank, or Emperor forbid, a Paraiah, he would have been able to sense it, even if he had no psyker talent, just from her proximity.
    Unless…
    “Do you mean had? You didn’t used to have a soul, but you do now?” he asked, inspiration striking. She shook her head.
    “Yes, Lord.”
    “Did you used to live on Terra?” he asked, unnerved.
    “Yes. I was one with the Sisterhood.”
    Russ tried to hide his shock. She hadn’t meant the Sisters of Battle…she meant the Sisters of Silence?! “You…you were one of the Sisters of Silence who was sucked into the void between dimensions when the Webway Father built collapsed, weren’t you? And your mind was sucked into this…this girl’s body when Abbadon opened his warp rift?”
    She nodded, emotion flickering across her face. Russ looked at her in wonder. “You…you’re saying you were alive that whole time…trapped between the worlds?”
    She suddenly squeezed her hands around his fist so tightly he thought she was trying to hurt herself. Her eyes watered up a bit, and her voice cracked with strain. “I am very old, my Lord.”
    Russ leaned back, his mind churning. The girl was a blank, born with a soul but without any presence in the Warp, and when she was exposed to the raw stuff of Chaos, a Sister of Silence who had been torn apart in the Webvoid had been sucked into her. Sisters were all Pariahs, no soul to begin with, so there would have been no problem. The original girl was long since dead.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)01:32 No.14806423
         File1304487174.jpg-(99 KB, 500x585, tumblr_le3g3gQeNz1qz8a94o1_500.jpg)
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    >>14806348
    REGULAR WORDS FAIL ME. I IMPLORE YOU TO SPIN YOUR DELIGHTFUL TALENT AND CRAFT MORE ESCAPIST DELIGHT.
    >> Lord Castellan Ursarkar E Creed 05/04/11(Wed)01:37 No.14806470
    Please oh please tell me we will eventually be getting some Vulkan in this, Salamanders need some love.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)01:40 No.14806508
    >>14806470
    Sure, it's just him and Guilliman who still need to get active. I'll be reuniting them...eventually. My oddish is lighting up, though, I may not be able to keep going for much longer. I'm already making lots of mistakes that I don't see until after I post.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)01:54 No.14806624
    Before Russ could ask another question, a brilliant purple light flashed in the windows and the holes in the roof. The firing of the Warhounds paused for a moment, then redoubled. A horrible roar sounded in the minds of everyone in the room, and rang in their ears. “GET THE FUCK BACK IN THE WARP WHERE YOU BELONG, FOUL CHAOS! AND TAKE YOUR WORTHLESS TITAN KNOCKOFFS WITH YOU!” An echoing CRACK noise sounded from where one of the Titans had been, and one of its legs flew past the window. The other Titan scrambled to evade whatever was causing the destruction of its partner, but apparently fared no better. The sky turned white for a moment, and a shockwave slammed into the battered walls of the building, knocking some more debris loose, though fortunately it didn’t seem to hit anyone. The Space Wolf gunners, though confused, recognized the opportunity, and picked off the Black Legion spotters who had so kindly revealed their positions for them.
    A few seconds of absolute silence passed. Russ slowly stood, pulling his hand from the girls’. A purple haze started to fill the middle of the room, then rushed aside as a colossal animal appeared.
    Russ gaped. A daemon? Why did it slay the Titans if they were all beings of Chaos?
    He shook his head, baring his fangs. No matter. He would kill it himself if he had to. Before he could take a single step, however, the girl spoke.
    “Master. It is good to see you again.”
    The creature turned around, shaking the room with each massive step. “OH? AND WHO MIGHT YOU BE…OH! CARANA! WOW. NO OFFENSE, BUT I HAD ALL BUT WRITTEN YOU OFF.” It turned to face Russ, who was standing next to the girl, bewildered. “LEMAN! WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU ALIVE AND WELL. LET’S WENT, SHALL WE? THIS PLACE ISN’T SAFE.”
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)01:56 No.14806645
         File1304488609.png-(93 KB, 300x400, my_oddish_is_baked.png)
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    All right, friends, my oddish is lit up and jiving, so keep this thread alive, vote for it on sup/tg/, and i'll see you when my brain restarts

    writefag awaaaay
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/04/11(Wed)02:02 No.14806682
    BUMP OF THE NORTH STAR!!
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)02:02 No.14806685
    >>14806624
    Tears of joy, as always.

    >>14806645
    I miss you already.
    >> New Babylon !Q0AjRU4Ugo 05/04/11(Wed)02:14 No.14806796
    Such beauty I behold here.....
    >> ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH 05/04/11(Wed)03:17 No.14807378
    Posting to get a time stamp that I can relate to. (strange american time stamp)
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)03:38 No.14807537
    Someone Else. I have been lurking in these thread for a bit now and all i can even muster is that you are a God among Gods, much less men. This has made my entire month. I thank you for writing this glorious fan fic.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)04:42 No.14808146
    >>14805284
    Adept Grendle actually got sainted in one of the official books, didn't he?
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)05:41 No.14808581
    LIVE!!!!!! EMPERASQUE DAMN YOU LIVE!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)06:39 No.14808930
         File1304505567.jpg-(224 KB, 562x764, 1288628380021.jpg)
    224 KB
    can has moar plz?
    >> Iron Lung 05/04/11(Wed)07:21 No.14809192
         File1304508112.jpg-(929 KB, 1020x1400, IG legions 3.jpg)
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    THERE IS ONLY WAR...bump.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)07:26 No.14809215
    >>14809192
    any more?
    >> Iron Lung 05/04/11(Wed)07:30 No.14809239
    >>14809215
    That's all I've got of that. Should be more around here somewhere, what with the love the Guard inspires.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)10:00 No.14809990
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    Oh that was amazing

    Can't wait for next time OP
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/04/11(Wed)11:02 No.14810378
    BUMP
    also: does any one know where the archived thread of the Ice Serpents is?
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)11:09 No.14810411
         File1304521755.jpg-(861 KB, 2325x3225, IGregiments1.jpg)
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    >>14809192
    Here is a pair of the older ones, if your interested.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)11:11 No.14810421
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    >>14809215
    I just realized these were a few hours ago. Oh well.
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/04/11(Wed)11:26 No.14810512
    >>14810421
    moar please.

    Also: has any one seen a tanith IG on the table top?
    >> MERRY EMPERASQUEMAS Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)11:45 No.14810609
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14800794/
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/04/11(Wed)11:47 No.14810625
    OH hey someone!
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)12:03 No.14810765
    Russ felt his jaw drop. “Father? What…what have you become?”
    The civilians who weren’t busy panicking and screaming looked at Russ or the monster, confused and terrified. It nodded. “YEAH, LEMAN, IT IS ME, THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND. I GUESS YOU DON’T GET THE NEWS OUT HERE, BUT I DEFEATED A DAEMON AND TOOK CONTROL OF ITS BODY. IT’S REALLY ME, THOUGH.”
    The Marines either stared at the Emperor, blankly, or dropped to their knees, making the sign of the Aquila. Russ took a hesitant step forward. “Father…I have so many questions, but first…my brothers, these civilians, we can’t travel. Some are gravely wounded.”
    “NOT A PROBLEM, LEMAN. I CAN BRING YOU ALL WITH ME. CARANA, I’D LOVE TO HEAR WHERE YOU’VE BEEN, BUT WE CAN DISCUSS IT LATER.”
    The girl, or more precisely the Sister of Silence named Carana who lived inside her, struggled to her feet and awkwardly bowed. “I’ll tell you everything, Sire, but we have to escape.”
    “YEP. EVERYONE GATHER UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM.” Slowly, uncertainly, the various Marines and civilians walked over to where the Medicae and Russ dragged the wounded. The Emperor stood beside them, and despite Russ’s joy at rescue and at seeing his father again, he couldn’t fully suppress a shudder. His new form was…utterly monstrous.
    With a loud rushing sound and flash of purple light, the strange collection of people were suddenly gone. They appeared in a burst of purple mist in the middle of Kasr Vortiga, where a small cluster of medicae and a pair of Wolf Priests waited. Several civilians fell to their knees or vomited at the strain of being dragged through the warp, even protected by the Emperor’s powers, but most simply staggered towards the medicae, gasping or praying aloud. Russ tilted his head back and grinned at the Emperor. “Well, Father, that was an impressive trick.”
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/04/11(Wed)12:11 No.14810847
    bump bump bump!
    bump o matic!
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)12:15 No.14810875
    “GEE, THANKS,” the enormous Emperor said drily. “YOU GO GET SOME REST ON DEATHWOLF’S SHIP, YOU NEED IT. WE CAN TALK LATER.” Russ blinked in confusion.
    “Deathwolf? What’s that?”
    “That would be me, Lord Russ,” Harald Deathwolf said, coming to a halt behind Russ and bowing reverently. “It is the honor of my life to see you and the Emperor standing together before me.” He straigtened up, beaming, until he caught sight of the look on Russ’ face. “Oh, forgive me. I am the Twelfth Wolf Lord, of the Space Wolves. This is Logan Grimnir, the Great Wolf.”
    Grimnir slammed his fist into his chest and bowed in respect, a wide grin on his face. “Though, I imagine, Lord, you’ll want that title back for yourself, as before,” Grimnir continued where Deathwolf left off.”
    Russ shook his maned head. “No, Sir Grimnir, the title is yours to keep. I’ve been out of touch for millennia, and I am in dire need of rest and recuperation. I may one day resume my role as Primarch, but until I feel ready for the responsibility again.”
    Grimnir nodded in acquiescence. “As you say, Lord Russ.” Behind them, the medicae and Wolf Priests were checking over the wounded, earning some disparaging looks from the medicae and the PDF medic who had come with the Emperor, since the Wolf Priests were using nothing but runes, balms, and potions to treat their wounded comrades. The Emperor meandered over, shaking the ground slightly with each massive footfall.
    “GRIMNIR, RUSS, WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH THESE MARINES WHO WERE LOST IN THE WARP FOR SO LONG?”
    Grimnir turned to face the Emperor, craning his head back. “Well…my Lord God, I expect that they will return to Fenris, where they can be properly cared for and reequipped, retrained, and can catch up on the history they’ve missed. The Inquisition will be furious, but…”
    “WAIT, WHAT? WHAT ABOUT THE INQUISITION?” the Emperor interjected in surprise.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)12:17 No.14810897
    BUMP
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)12:19 No.14810906
    “My Lord God, until very recently, the Inquisition rounded up all persons who had come into contact with daemons, our own Grey Knights, or warp entities, sterilized them, and worked them to death in labor camps or mining worlds,” Grimnnir said with unconcealed distaste.
    The Emperor was silent for several long seconds. Then, without a word, he teleported himself and Grimnir outside the kar walls, leaving Grimnir feeling a sense of whiplash at the suddenness of it. Before he could ask what was going on, however, the Emperor spoke, his voice growling and dangerous. More so, anyway.
    “THE INQUISITION IS WORKING OUR LOYAL CITIZENS TO DEATH FOR SEEING DAEMONS?” he snarled.
    “Y…Yes, my Lord God,” Grimnir said. “In fact, even the PDF and Guard stationed on Armageddon were killed, along with the populations of two entire worlds they tried to flee to, when the First War of Armageddon unleashed knowledge of daemons among the populace. Recently, they reversed their policy, since times of Black Crusade mean that more or less everybody hears of daemons, but they work hard to maintain the image that the Imperium isn’t at constant war with Chaos between them.”
    The Emperor teleported Grimnir back to the parade ground, seconds before an inhuman roar, so loud it shattered windows, echoed over the parade ground. Russ and the other Marines looked over to the source of the sound in shock, with several citizens gasping and bolting for cover before sense reasserted itself. Seconds later, The Emperor’s voice spoke in their minds. “RUSS, I WILL RETURN TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN LATER. CARANA, GOOD TO SEE YOU. I HAVE BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO ON HIGH TERRA.”
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/04/11(Wed)12:27 No.14810970
    >>14810906
    ohhhhh! shits about to go down!!!
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)12:28 No.14810979
    >>14810906
    Somebody's in trou~ble.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)12:31 No.14811015
    I am fooding and shall return shortly.
    ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE TALES OF THE ERMPERASQUE:
    TELEPORTERS!
    CUSTODIANS!
    INTRIGUE!

    no, spellcheck, I meant teleporters, not temperatures
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)12:32 No.14811024
    >>14811015
    HUZZAH
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/04/11(Wed)12:43 No.14811109
    i wonder if the emperor would like the angry marines.

    >>14810378
    any one?
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)12:43 No.14811112
    bump
    >> vasso Baja !X8JzCOMTnk 05/04/11(Wed)12:59 No.14811234
    BUMP

    what about the tau?
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)13:18 No.14811436
    >>14811234
    they're too small a race to be relevant
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/04/11(Wed)13:22 No.14811473
    my F5... it just cracked...
    >> sorry about the delay, i took a phone call Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)13:26 No.14811511
    0-019-001-M42
    The two Inquisitors and the Supreme Grand Master of the Grey Knights had been in conference with one another for hours, wandering the massive throne room of Terra deep in conversation.
    They agreed on little, despite their official ties, Draigo thinking that it would be wiser to confront the Emperor before doing anything drastic, Haldebrandt and Valentine claiming that it would be wiser to leave before the Emperor returned, to present their case to the Inquisition. Finally, after almost eight hours of debate, in which the two were constantly surrounded by working, bickering, bustling techpriests and Custodes, who tried not to look like they were eavesdropping, Valentine called for a decision.
    “Brothers, the Emperor has clearly been in concert with a daemon, and whether or not we know for a fact that He’s been possessed, it seems we can at least agree that he was dabbling in a power that he couldn’t fully control. Why else would he use the creature’s form instead of his own?” Valentine asked reasonably.
    Haldebrandt nodded. “Master Draigo, your experience with battling beasts of the Warp exceeds my own, but my station as a member of Ordo Malleus affords me some insight into the workings of the warp. Do you not agree that the possibility exists that the Emperor is no longer in control?”
    “Of course I do, Inquisitor,” Draigo growled, his patience worn thin. “What of it?”
    “Well, then, let us agree.” Valentine leaned forward conspiratorially. “Master, would you be willing to accompany us to our void station so that we may decide what to do next?”
    “LET ME SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE,” a psychic voice said. The Custodians in the room took a knee at once, ten thousand gold-clad warriors kneeling as one. The Techpriests followed suit, as Draigo and the Inquisitors looked around, confused.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)13:29 No.14811546
    >>14811511
    YES
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)13:33 No.14811574
         File1304530393.gif-(71 KB, 1141x466, 1303139243421.gif)
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    >>14811511

    AWWWWW HELL YEAH
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)13:42 No.14811641
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    >>14811511
    Uwah-ah-ah-ah! Down with the WardKnights!
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/04/11(Wed)13:49 No.14811699
    FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAH TIME TO ROCK AN' ROLL MOTHER FUCKERS
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)13:51 No.14811717
    With a CRACK of displaced air, a purple-shrouded being appeared in the middle of the room, where the Golden Throne was being disassembled. The massive form of the Emperor strode forth. “CUSTODES, MY LOYAL GUARD, STAND DOWN. MAGI, AS YOU WERE.” The gold and red-coated workers scurried back to their tasks, some with sly grins to one another. The Emperor stopped mere meters from the two awestruck Inquisitors, and the incredibly unnerved Draigo.
    “GENTLEMEN. WHAT WERE YOU DISCUSSING MY THRONE ROOM?”
    Valentine was the only one who managed to keep a straight face. “My Lord God, we were discussing Lord Draigo’s errand.” Draigo shot Valentine a stunned look, but said nothing.”
    “OH? DO TELL, MASTER GREY KNIGHT.” Draigo licked his lips.
    “Ah…my Lord God, as I’m sure you’re aware, Malcador the Sigilite enacted something called the Term-”
    “THE TERMINUS DECREE. YES. WHICH I’M ALL BUT CERTAIN MALCADOR DIDN’T WANT YOU TO INVOKE UNLESS THE IMPERIUM IS LITERALLY FALLING TO CHAOS AT THAT VERY MOMENT.”
    Draigo felt a bead of sweat run down his neck. “That is correct, my Lord God.”
    “SO, WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?” the Emperor asked flatly. The Custodes nearby smirked, but went about their myriad tasks.
    “My…my Lord God, I was told by the High Lords that you had absorbed a daemon. I had to avoid risk,” Draigo said, trying to regain his nerves.
    The Emperor would have none of it. “YOU AVOIDED RISK BY INVOKING THE TERMINUS DECREE. LET ME LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET, KALDOR; THE TERMINUS DECREE WOULD HAVE LED YOU TO COME BEFORE ME SO THAT I COULD HAVE USED YOUR NEMESIS PIKE TO KILL MYSELF AND TAKE MY CHANCES WITH BEING REBORN. CAN YOU PERHAPS UNDERSTAND MY DISAPPROVAL THAT YOU TOOK SUCH A STEP WHEN THE IMPERIUM WASN’T IN ANY ACTUAL DANGER OF COLLAPSE?”
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)13:58 No.14811797
    >>14811717
    Nemo censetur ignorare legem.

    Bitch is gonna get slapped for good.
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/04/11(Wed)13:59 No.14811802
    >>14811717
    Thats it? A stern talking-to?
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)13:59 No.14811811
    >>14811802
    The sternest.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)14:01 No.14811827
    >>14811811
    >>14811802

    I would rather say this is the prelude.
    So one should wait till after the third act.
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/04/11(Wed)14:02 No.14811839
    >>14811827
    good point *grabs popcorn and waits patiently*
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)14:09 No.14811894
    Much to Draigo’s relief, Haldebrandt spoke up. “My Lord God, the High Lords are not a particularly truthful bunch, and when they said that you had defeated a daemon that had appeared in the Throne room, it beggared the imagination. How could a daemon appear here, in the most heavily guarded place in the Imperium?”
    “BECAUSE I SPECIFICALLY SUMMONED IT, YOU TWIT,” the Emperor roared disdainfully. “AND AN INQUISITOR SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO SUBVERT MY WILL.”
    Valentine’s jar dropped. “Subvert? My Lord God, what are you talking about?”
    “YOU AND THE OTHER RADICALS OF ORDO MALLEUS AND EVEN HERETICUS SUMMON DAEMONS ALL THE TIME, DESPITE MY ORDER AGAINST THE PRACTICE OF SORCERY STILL STANDING. I SUMMONED A DAEMON ONCE IN FIFTY THOUSAND YEARS, YOU, SIEUR VALENTINE, HAVE DONE IT FOUR TIMES IN THE LAST CENTURY. AT WHAT POINT DID YOU DECIDE THAT MY LAWS WERE TO BE SO EASILY CAST ASIDE?”
    Valentine was openly sweating now, and unconsciously rubbed his hands together. “Ah…my Lord God, I assure you, all we have done is for the betterment of the Imperium, of mankind.”
    “WHAT I DO IS FOR THE BETTERMENT OF MANKIND, AS ITS LEADER. AS ITS SERVANTS, YOUR PLACE IS NOT TO DECIDE THAT THE LAWS I ENACT ARE TO BE DISCARDED WHEN THEY BECOME INCONVENIENT.”
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)14:13 No.14811943
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    >>14811894
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)14:21 No.14812019
    Somebody's in troooouuuble...

    So! What do we all think's going to happen to the Inquisitive types?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)14:24 No.14812057
         File1304533496.gif-(1.38 MB, 420x390, 1297834573844.gif)
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    let's not speculate too hard...yet
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)14:29 No.14812106
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    Emps face when inquisiton radicals
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)14:30 No.14812120
    Draigo slowly crossed his arms. “Why was I not informed of this?”
    Valentine turned to Draigo, his face beading with sweat. “Lord Draigo, we can discuss that later.”
    “THEY DIDN’T TELL YOU BECAUSE YOU WOULD HAVE OBJECTED, LORD DRAIGO.”
    Valentine took a desperate step forward. “My Lord God, I beg of you, do not-”
    The Emperor turned his attention back to the Grey Knight, who was changing colors at an impressive pace. “DRAIGO, YOUR ACTIONS WERE INAPPROPRIATE, BUT I DO NOT THINK THEY MERIT PUNISHMENT. WHAT VERY WELL MAY, HOWEVER, IS THE STORY LOGAN GRIMNIR TELLS ME ABOUT YOUR AND THE INQUISITION’S ACTIONS ON ARMAGEDDON. STERILIZING THREE PLANETS BECAUSE THEY MIGHT HAVE LEARNED YOU EXIST? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? WE ARE HUMANITY’S GUIDES AND LEADERS, NOT THAT WHICH THEY FIGHT.”
    “That policy is abandoned, my Lord God,” Draigo hastened to explain, “and if it was Grimnir telling you, he probably neglected to mention that. He’s held a grudge against us ever since then.”
    “WHICH HE WAS WELL WITHIN HIS RIGHTS TO DO,” the Emperor roared, angrily, his psychic and auditory voice rising. “YOU KILLED HONEST, UNTAINTED CITIZENS AND SOLDIERS OF MY IMPERIUM BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT PRESERVING YOUR OWN SECRECY WAS MORE IMPORTANT. YOUR ARROGANCE AT ASSUMING THAT THE GREY KNIGHTS SHOULD REMAIN A SECRET AFTER NINE THOUSAND YEARS OF COMBAT ACTIONS IS APPALLING. I CREATED THE INQUISITION TO ACT AS THE PUBLIC FACE OF MY WILL. I CREATED THE GREY KNIGHTS TO ACT AS THE CLOSED FIST OF THE IMPERIUM, TO STAVE OFF CHAOS AND WYRDS.”
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)14:38 No.14812202
         File1304534292.jpg-(101 KB, 407x584, ASSHOLE.jpg)
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    >>14812120
    >> Emp's face when
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)14:39 No.14812227
    Bullshit is fantastic.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)14:44 No.14812268
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    MOAR we must have MOAR
    brb making 1d4chan article... now
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)14:46 No.14812289
    >>14812268
    We already have one. Search for Emperasque.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)14:47 No.14812302
    >>14812289
    Wasn't it written Emprahsque there?
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/04/11(Wed)14:49 No.14812314
    >>14812289
    the Emperasque page has 4 catigories, one of which is Awesome
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)14:50 No.14812325
    >>14812302
    Yeah, but it shouldn't have been. That's not how we've been spelling it.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)14:57 No.14812384
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    >>14812325
    Just gonna throw it out there, you're awesome and you should feel awesome dude.

    This story is keeping me going during a shit month, many lolz have been had.

    Profound thanks.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)14:59 No.14812400
    “But…my Lord God, were the Knights not to remain a secret?” Draigo asked in mounting horror.
    “OF COURSE THEY WERE, DRAIGO, BUT NOT AT THE COST OF OVER ONE HUNDRED BILLION INNOCENT LIVES!” the Emperor roared. “WE SEEK TO PRESERVE HUMANITY WITHOUT COSTING IT ITS SOUL, AND YOUR FOOLISH POLICIES DEFEATED THAT PURPOSE.” He turned to the pair of Inquisitors, who immediately stiffened under his disapproving glare. “YOU TWO SUMMONING DAEMONS, THE KNIGHTS MURDERING BILLIONS…ORDO MALLEUS HAS DISAPPOINTED ME IMMENSELY. I THINK, PERHAPS, THE WORST PART IS THAT BOTH THE INQUISITION AND THE GREY KNIGHTS DID NOT TELL ME THIS, EVEN THOUGH SOMETHING OF SUCH IMPORTANCE SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOLD TO ME LONG AGO. THAT STRONGLY SUGGESTS THAT YOU KNEW I WOULD DISAPPROVE IF I HAD KNOWN. YOU CONCEALED THIS FROM ME.”
    Valentine formally took a knee, his stomach churning. “My Lord God, please, forgive us our trespass.”
    “NO. RETURN TO YOUR VOID STATION. NOW.” The Emperor turned from them, skewering Draigo with his malevolent stare. “DRAIGO, YOUR ACTIVATION OF THE TERMINUS DECREE IS SUSPENDED INDEFINITELY. RETURN TO TITAN. I WILL VISIT YOU ALL LATER. IN THE INTERIM, ONE OF MY SONS REQUIRES MY ATTENTION.” With a CRACK and a burst of purple mist, He was gone.
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/04/11(Wed)15:18 No.14812600
    ALL GLOR TO THE HYPNO-FAG
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)15:22 No.14812621
    Sorry about the delay, folks, I'm taking a shirt break from writing. I've been writing for four hours and need a quick break.
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/04/11(Wed)15:23 No.14812629
    >>14812621
    lol, shirt break
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)15:24 No.14812644
    >>14812621
    Shirt break = short break
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/04/11(Wed)15:28 No.14812687
    >>14812644
    still funny
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)15:42 No.14812846
         File1304538124.gif-(238 B, 32x28, emot-patriot.gif)
    238 B
    Incidentally, I just hit 26,040 words!
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)15:51 No.14812955
    >>14812846
    Uh, well... I never got that patriotism thing.

    But 26,040... that's a big number. May you add another25,000 by the evening.
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/04/11(Wed)16:19 No.14813267
    bump
    >> The Emperasque's Drawfag 05/04/11(Wed)16:40 No.14813495
         File1304541601.jpg-(370 KB, 1240x1754, by the Emperasque's request.jpg)
    370 KB
    bump
    and Pic Related
    >> Johnny Ridden !tyRw75WsKs 05/04/11(Wed)17:08 No.14813776
    >>14800935
    wow you saved my crummy drawing?

    I think the thing I like most is how this is write in a "serious" kinda way. With proper character interactions and story elements, it reads like a normal 40K novel yet it is completely bat shit insane in a good way.

    Keep up the good work sir!
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)17:21 No.14813893
    1d4chan page updated but ould use some one with better understanding of wiki formatting... I'm tired and suck at wiki formatting

    http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Emprahsque
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)17:22 No.14813911
         File1304544174.jpg-(5 KB, 135x123, 1291514778504.jpg)
    5 KB
    >>14813495
    oh lawd.... If he's that big he'll be weilding a reaver titan power fist in one hand and a megabolter in the other....
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)17:38 No.14814058
    Bump for the Bump God!
    Page 1 for His throne!
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)17:49 No.14814150
    May his holy GIGANTIC light shine upon this thread
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)17:49 No.14814154
    bump
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)18:03 No.14814272
    >>14814150
    Colossal, I think you'll find.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)18:04 No.14814281
    >>14814154
    This is post 255. Autosage is at 300.
    Keep it real folks.

    >6,000 enumbr
    Captcha knows how many Black Templars there are!
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)18:43 No.14814625
         File1304548994.jpg-(222 KB, 1000x982, 40k_Cultist_Chan_by_JoPereira.jpg)
    222 KB
    Mhassterr, vheere ahrre yuuo?
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)18:54 No.14814754
    >>14814625
    Begone, foul Heretic!
    >> BUMP Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)18:56 No.14814773
         File1304549792.jpg-(29 KB, 600x472, imp.jpg)
    29 KB
    I continue to watch this thread from my sanguine halls in the webway. I wish to see a great deal more of this wonderful and epic tale spun upon my lighted screen.

    Continue at your leisure. I can wait.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)19:22 No.14815068
    The Emperor gave the Inquisition the power to do whatever they deemed necessary in the course of their actions. Do you actually think he gave a shit about innocent lives? I'm sorry, but that's just retarded.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)19:31 No.14815136
    >>14815068
    Of course, the Emperor isn't a Tarrasque, either. And for that matter probably wouldn't pop into Slaanesh's house just to save Eldrad.

    Basically, this isn't about what the Emperor would do... It's about what the Emprasque does.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)19:35 No.14815164
    >>14815136
    He's getting pissed at something he personally set up. That is not merely "different", that may denote brain damage.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)19:42 No.14815241
    >>14815164
    Or, you know, being in a humorous story that has about as much to do with the canon behavior of the Emperor as it does with C'thulu riding a clown eating beef stew.
    >> Alpharius 05/04/11(Wed)19:43 No.14815255
    >>14815068
    He never detailed what powers they were meant to have, he merely said "Gather those of an inquisitive nature" to prevent shit from getting as bad as the betrayal again.

    He died before explaining their powers.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)20:00 No.14815439
    >>14815255

    >Alpharius

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)20:05 No.14815489
    >>14815164

    Clearly, he changed his mind.
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/04/11(Wed)20:09 No.14815533
    He has been on his "shirt" break for 5 hours.
    Not that I'm rushing you, but we want this awesomeness to continue.
    >> Alpharius 05/04/11(Wed)20:12 No.14815560
    >>14815533
    Clearly he's having a shirt printed with the image of our Glorious Emperasque, to better inspire His Glorious Writefaggotry.
    Continue.
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/04/11(Wed)20:16 No.14815595
    >>14815489
    as he has the right to do.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)20:17 No.14815609
    My day's gone absolutely to shit, so I don't plan on writing any more. I'll return some other day and dump a few dozen more.

    later.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)20:21 No.14815655
    >>14815609
    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)20:24 No.14815676
         File1304555052.jpg-(52 KB, 475x378, 1283898816879.jpg)
    52 KB
    feels good man. I'm rageing with pleasure.
    >> KHARN 05/04/11(Wed)20:30 No.14815741
         File1304555434.jpg-(291 KB, 1500x1500, rageface 2.jpg)
    291 KB
    >>14815609
    WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
    YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY......
    >> Admral_Awesome 05/04/11(Wed)20:32 No.14815760
    >>14815609
    i hope you feel less crappy soon
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)20:42 No.14815867
         File1304556150.jpg-(6 KB, 251x168, 1261092952662.jpg)
    6 KB
    >>14815760
    So do I, man, so do I.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)20:45 No.14815898
    I, for one, hope you learn to write soon.
    Everyone calling him "my Lord God" is fucking irritating, and the ANCIENT LOLI bullshit is pure faggotry.
    >> KHARN 05/04/11(Wed)20:45 No.14815903
    >>14815898
    Y you so mad thou.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)20:47 No.14815920
         File1304556442.jpg-(82 KB, 500x500, 1304304193081.jpg)
    82 KB
    >>14815898
    goodness, someone's ass-devastated.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)20:47 No.14815932
    >>14815903
    Because this is reminding me of Love Can Bloom in its circlejerking.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)20:48 No.14815944
    >>14815920
    You realize that's a sardonic picture, right?
    And yes, I mad. Anything else?
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)20:49 No.14815950
    >>14815898
    Then don't read it. Simple as that. You could even hide the thread. Don't shit on our enjoyment.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)20:50 No.14815956
         File1304556605.jpg-(15 KB, 246x287, 1302774417509.jpg)
    15 KB
    >>14815932
    You're posting in a thread about how the Emperor is a Tarrasque. Of course it's circlejerking.

    And you know what? I'm having fun writing it. It's honest, silly, fun, well-written, and everything 40k isn't. That's the point.

    So go not have fun elsewhere. The adults are talking.


    >temporal ice-cream
    that shit's delicious captcha
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)20:52 No.14815971
    >>14815956
    >honest
    In what way?
    >silly
    Does not equal good.
    >fun
    In your opinion.
    >well-written
    My, aren't we the modest one.
    >and everything 40k isn't
    For good reason.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)20:53 No.14815977
    >>14815956
    Frankly, I'd like to support you in your cause of "doing your own thing", but I'll admit I'm a tad annoyed by the combination of "we're doing it because it's fun and silly" and "go away adults are talking".

    No. This is not a thread for adults. You are children, and that's fine. But don't be like "can't you be more mature about my story where the Emperor is a Tarrasque. I mean really, grow up."
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)20:54 No.14815988
    >>14815971
    >honest
    In what way?

    because I get to express my opinions.
    >silly
    >Does not equal good.

    I never said it's good because it's silly. Silly shit can be bad. It's silly.

    >fun
    >In your opinion.
    And literally every other person here except you. Are you a child? You're acting like one.

    >well-written
    >My, aren't we the modest one.
    I'm also right.

    >and everything 40k isn't
    >For good reason.
    Damn straight.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)20:55 No.14815996
         File1304556949.jpg-(11 KB, 182x151, don't enjoy what I don't like!.jpg)
    11 KB
    >>14815971
    >no fun allowed unless it conforms to MY idea of fun!
    >> Alpharius 05/04/11(Wed)20:56 No.14815999
    >>14815977
    Can you be more mature in your reaction to stuff on the internet, please? Kthxbai.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)20:56 No.14816008
    >>14815988
    So it's well-written because you say so? Could you be any more self-important?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)20:57 No.14816012
    >>14815977
    Let me say it again, because apparently it hasn't sunk in.
    It's a story about the Emperor, who is a Tarrasque.
    You don't have to be mature to like it, you don't have to be immature to dislike it. Your behavior (you know, whinging,) is quite immature, though, and I'm calling you out on it. You're complaining because you CAN, not because you have something to say.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/04/11(Wed)20:59 No.14816030
    >>14816008
    It's well written because I'm a good author. You should really find some ointment for your ass pain.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)21:04 No.14816096
    >>14815971
    >>14815977
    >>14816008
    F this guy. I bet he goes outside to deflate basketballs and to poison puupies as well. Seriously, your an ass.
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/04/11(Wed)21:06 No.14816106
    feel better soon someone.

    also i love how bitchy every one is being right now.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)21:10 No.14816157
    Personally, I think it's just a fair-weather fan of the story that got buttdevastated when Someone decided he wanted to take a well deserved break for the evening.

    As such, I say we all ignore him like the faggot he is.
    >> KHARN 05/04/11(Wed)21:14 No.14816190
         File1304558096.jpg-(37 KB, 455x599, lcb demonette.jpg)
    37 KB
    >reminding me of Love Can Bloom

    yea I know its awesome right.
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)21:45 No.14816581
         File1304559938.jpg-(72 KB, 367x451, AHAHAHAH FA-.jpg)
    72 KB
    >>14816008
    >> Anonymous 05/04/11(Wed)22:23 No.14816994
    bump
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 05/04/11(Wed)23:29 No.14817792
    >>14815932
    You say that like it's a bad thing.
    >> Anonymous 05/05/11(Thu)00:36 No.14818422
    bump
    >> Anonymous 05/05/11(Thu)01:48 No.14818980
    So is OP done?
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 05/05/11(Thu)02:22 No.14819287
    >>14818980
    For now, aye. For now.
    >> Anonymous 05/05/11(Thu)04:08 No.14820220
    but he will come back
    >> Anonymous 05/05/11(Thu)04:29 No.14820354
    Is Tarrasque pronounced "Tahr-ask-we", "Tahr-ask", or "Tahr-as-kyoo"?
    >> Anonymous 05/05/11(Thu)04:35 No.14820380
    >>14820354
    It's originally based on a French legend, so I tend to go with your second option
    >> Anonymous 05/05/11(Thu)06:32 No.14820942
    BUMP DAMN U DONT DIE!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 05/05/11(Thu)09:27 No.14821689
    I've always said it "tar-ASK". like baroque, arabesque, basque, boutique, oblique, statuesque, mystique, torque, opaque, grotesque, etc. I can't think of any English word from French that has the "-que" pronounced any other way, and I'm pretty sure it's pronounced that way in French.
    >> Anonymous 05/05/11(Thu)12:11 No.14822635
    he will come back, if we remain fathful
    >> Anonymous 05/05/11(Thu)12:27 No.14822735
    I've taken the liberty to remove some minor typing errors and lay out hiccups from the 1d4 document.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 05/05/11(Thu)12:32 No.14822771
    >>14822735
    Thanks, I couldn't be arsed.
    >>14822635
    We've hit the bump limit. If I do decide to write more today, I'll make a new thread.
    >> Anonymous 05/05/11(Thu)12:39 No.14822803
    >>14822771
    Someone had to do it at some point. Figured it might as well be me.



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