Bradley: Good afternoon, folks. It's a beautiful day here at NERV Daytona. I'm Earle Bradley, Commander of NERV Daytona and one of the commentators that will keep you up to speed on today's event. With me is the Operations Director of NERV Daytona, Brian Hood.

Hood: Afternoon, ladies and gents, I'm Brian Hood. I'll be your other commentator when I'm not doing my best to keep our pilots safe and supported.

Bradley: Today, we see the culmination of over a decade of dedicated scientific research into the cause of the world-wide disaster known as Second Impact. We'd like to take this time to observe a moment of silence for the billions of victims whose lives that tragedy claimed. ... Second Impact was caused by strange alien beings that the discoverers named, "Aesir" after the gods of Norse legend. We've not seen hide nor hair of them since, but one's come here today to kill us all. I'll let Brian tell you how we're going to deal with that problem. Brian?

Hood: Well, Earle, our scientists, courtesy of Nabisco, have used many findings we gathered studying that original Aesir to make these fine machines our pilots will be using today. The Einherjar is the most advanced weapon system ever developed. We could ramble on literally for days about its capabilities, but most of it is still classified and it's probably best that you just see them for yourself. Here's our pilot lineup...

Meet Mac Ryan, piloting the 01, brought to you by Monster and built by Chevrolet. The 01 is the largest and most heavily-armored of the Einherjar, and just an impressive sight. Equipped and extremely proficient with the Leatherman Progressive Knife, Ryan shows great promise in the fight for mankind's survival.

Ryan: I don't know what these things are or why they're here, but I'll be damned if I'm going to stand by and let them wipe us out. That thing is as good as dead as soon as I get my hands on it.

Meet Jerold King, pilot of the 02, sponsored by Crown Royal and built by Ford. And a fitting sponsor it is, with the horns on its head forming that distinctive crown shape. That large array behind its calves are the Ford Hydraulic Pistons, and make 02 the fastest Einherjar on the field. While 02 is equipped with the Gerber Progressive Knife and the Charter Arms Pallet Rifle, its real threat is Jerold King himself, who has progressed leaps and bounds past his colleagues in mastering the mysterious "Terror Field" that you folks will be seeing for the first time today.

King: These other guys are good, no doubt about it. But once I get out there, you're gonna see something magical.

And last but not least: Garry Irwin, pilot of the 03, brought to you by Old Spice and built by our Japanese friends at Toyota. All those extra optical sensors give Garry a near-360-degree view of the battlefield and help with range-finding. The Rack 'Em weapon rack on its back allows it to carry two additional magazines for that beautiful H&K Battle Rifle.

Irwin: I've spent my whole life hunting, and this big nasty is just one more critter that's gonna be hangin' on my wall.

Bradley: And with that, it seems that the Aesir, which I'm being told will be designated "Gna" has come into our interception range. (Brian, let's start the anthem.)

Hood: (Allright, I'll have the VTOLs do a flyover on their way.) Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the day's prayer by Reverend Corillo, followed by our national anthem sung by Ted Nugent.

Bradley: The battle for our survival has started. The Boeing Hovercopters seem to be having trouble, seems not many missiles are getting through.

Hood: That's right, Earle, and the General Motors Main Battle Tanks aren't doing much better. You see that orange shimmer around Gna, folks? That's the Terror Field we mentioned earlier. Very effective defense.

Bradley: We may have spoken too soon, Brian. One of the Chevron Anti-Armor Missiles has slipped past the Terror Field and pounded Gna in the head.

Hood: Which brings us to the next point, Earle. Aesir are incredibly tough, even for their size. What you folks just saw was about the equivalent of a person having a grenade go off in their face. As you can see, Gna has come out quite a bit healthier than that hypothetical person.

Bradley: ...And I'm being told that the Einherjar are ready and pilots are in the cockpits. GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES!

Hood: Now, remember folks, while these guys have to work as a team, they are also in a competition. There's a scoring system that you can look up at NERVDaytona.com, and the pilot with the highest score will leave with the March 2014 Daytona Defense Trophy and a substantial boost in funding for their dedicated research division.

fuck off

I applaud you OP.
Keep posting.
Ignore the fags.

Hood: 02 closes in, and here's what's really going to bring us hope, folks. Watch as King uses his own Terror Field to rip away a chunk of Gna's. That'll leave the Aesir wide open to attack.

Bradley: And Garry Irwin draws first blood with a beautifully accurate burst of fully-automatic fire! Just watch those Winchester 508 mm rounds tear into Gna. That left its right arm in some sad shape.

Hood: Here's some teamwork for you: Mac Ryan, with an opportunity to score more points, throws in more of his Terror Field than is necessary to take the heat off of King.

Bradley: But here comes the Aesir's retaliation. OOH! That red-hot ram from its palm landed a mean hit to 01. Look at that, right in the chest. Ryan's no where near out of the fight yet, though.

Hood: But hurting pretty bad. You see folks, the pilots actually feel a good percentage of whatever happens to the Einherjar, so Mac's feeling about half of a sucking chest wound right now.

Hood: And here's what we've all been waiting to see from King today, what he calls the "Terror Wave." Now look at that, tore what was left of that arm right off. Tore up a lot of downtown, though.

Bradley: Well that's why we evacuate, Brian. And now would be a great time to remind everyone that if you named your own price on your insurance, you could be stuck with the cost of your home and car being sliced in half. So get Allstate, save some cash and be better protected from mayhem like this.

Hood: Garry Irwin is just trigger-happy today. But it looks like there's enough of that Terror Field to deflect his efforts. Well, you can't win 'em all.

Bradley: But here comes 01 with that knife. Let's take a look in the cockpit and get it from his point of view with the Kodak Helmet-Cam.

Ryan: DIE YOU SON OF BITCH!

Bradley: And that's why parental discretion is advised, folks. Look at Ryan just plunge that knife into its head, splitting it right down the middle. Let's watch that again on our Maruchan Instant Lunch Instant Replay...just beautiful. Wait, wait. It stopped moving. I think it's dead.

Hood: Well it was a short fight, but rewarding. We can't be disappointed in our pilots for being too competent.

Bradley: Wait, wait. THE HEAD GREW BACK TOGETHER. Its eyes are glowing...Oh my God. That was a devastating lance of energy to the head. Well folks, 02 might be out of the fight, but at least the pilot has ejected safely. Let's check on him now. How are you holding up, Jerold?

King: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hood: We're going to half to install some sedative dispensers in those suits.

>>14972353
Shut your mouth. This is amazing.

Bradley: Garry Irwin now charging the Aesir with that Smith & Wesson Progressive Bayonet, landing a solid blow to the Core.

Hood: And Ryan takes the head off Gna like it's chicken.

Bradley: Irwin firing into the Core with the bayonet still lodged in...and its lights go out, it HAS to be dead now.
Hood: Ryan now spiking its head like a football and high-fiving Irwin.

Bradley: And the medical teams have recovered King. Looks a little shaken up, but uninjured.

Hood: And here the points have been tallied and...Gary Irwin is the winner!

-------------------------

Reporter: Garry Irwin, how does it feel to save humanity for the first of what will surely be many times?

Irwin: Feels good, real good. We thought we had the varmint but it popped back up with a new trick and took out King. At that point I didn't have much choice but to take a big risk and end it quick. Good ol' Mac had my back and made sure the same thing didn't happen to me, we probably wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for that. The 03 worked great, thanks go out to Old Spice, Toyota, Coca-Cola, Burger King, HP, H&K, H&M, H&H and H&R Block.

-------------------

Next session is going to start off with some commercials.

As someone who has been on the AdEva team for quite some time now, this is either the best or worst conceivable use for the game.

Congratulations. You've given birth to a monster beyond human imagining.

motherofgod.jpg

As a NASCAR fan, I love this. as an NGE fan, I love this. As an AdEva DM, I salute you, sir.

Carry on, do good.

>Bradley: Well that's why we evacuate, Brian. And now would be a great time to remind everyone that if you named your own price on your insurance, you could be stuck with the cost of your home and car being sliced in half. So get Allstate, save some cash and be better protected from mayhem like this.

Okay, I lost it there. That's hilarious.

Dear OP,
Mail came. Apparently you've been..."selected for the Redneck-of-Rednecks Association for Man of the Year." And...it came with a beer can.

I salute thee, OP.


If only I could draw, I would drawfag this shit so hard

I can't stop imagining this giant bio-mechanical walking abomination... COVERED IN PRODUCT PLACEMENT STICKERS

>So get Allstate, save some cash and be better protected from mayhem like this.

This is amazing. I am amazed.

...But doesn't having Evas powered by liquid fuel leave the chance for a fuel line getting severed by an energy beam or something, causing it spray billions of gallons a minute of flaming petrochemical hell all across the landscape? Because that would be kind of awkward.

Then again, you can now rev up your eva, and in my mind that totally makes up for any unnatural disaster this setup might cause. Evas with throttles are AWESOME.

>>14972584
>
...But doesn't having Evas powered by liquid fuel leave the chance for a fuel line getting severed by an energy beam or something, causing it spray billions of gallons a minute of flaming petrochemical hell all across the landscape? Because that would be kind of awkward.

Light it on fire. Awkward becomes AWESOME

...This is fucking amazing.

If you can, write up a summary of the rules mods etc you use in the campaign? This is something I can see other people finding a use for.

Point System
----------------
1 point per point of damage inflicted
2 points per point of critical damage inflicted
1 point per ATS neutralized every turn
10 points for the killing blow
3 points every time a pilot meaningfully assists another pilot (Judgment call)
-1 point per point of Collateral Damage caused
Winner gets extra surplus of varying amounts.

For the independent research, I'm using some rules that Dr. Baron von Evilsatan is still working on. (The building/equipping of labs and management of research, etc.) Everyone gets about half the normal Surplus reward to use independently of each other, but if they come up with something creative I could see their sponsors allowing limited collaborative research.

For the fuel lines, if they're cut, they lay down gasoline in a 10 dm radius. 1d10 damage to the entire thing if E or X damage happens in that area. If the fuel line is actually cut by E damage, it starts to whip around spouting fire and people have to make Ag tests to avoid getting whacked with it or burned by it for 1 round, before the base cuts off the fuel flow.

And I swear I'm forgetting something...

>>14972750
Minimum alcohol consumption?

>>14972750
I guess with the Collateral Damage bit I should specify that the scores of an individual are increased/decreased only if it was a direct result of that person's actions. They're not going to lose points for an Angel using Cross Blast, for example.

So did they actually like it?

>>14972815
Yeah, they want to play again on Friday. I'm worried I'll run out of ways to make fun of NASCAR before Matariel.

>>14972810
I was kind of making up the point system as we went along and writing it down as I made it up. Since the fuel lines didn't come up this session I didn't have to make it up on the fly and came up with that the next day.

>>14972834

Have something attack the Redneck Supercircus that collects outside the Daytona 500 Raceway. Make them protect their loyal fans while pitching their sponsorships.

>>14972879
No... 2 attacks at once

one on the fans, one on the sponsors


make them pick.

Glorious OP. Are you rolling an angels or just going with the book based ones?

Suggest me some good inspirational webcomics or point me to some download links, /tg/.
Pic and link related, it's what I suggest to you.

http://starkreality.smackjeeves.com/Archivepage/

Sci-Fi is welcome.

>>14973168

Ignore this meant to open new topic.

>>14972306

This...is beautiful.

Well done, OP. I haven't seen giant robots done this well this way since Solaris VII.

rolled 4 = 4

This is good andd you should feel good

This is great.

I only fear that by making them gasoline powered, stuff like them being organic will feel strange. But it fits so well otherwise.

Sorry for leaving the thread, had to help my neighbor take down a fence.

>>14973135
Well the first one was Sachiel. The whole thing was kind of off-the-cuff, I'm playing it by ear. Might be some rolled ones in there, probably a few Archangels.

>>14974532
I was thinking since Evas are battery-powered anyway, this version of them have massive gas-powered generators. If I'm actually asked how they work. I don't think that will happen, they've already accepted the fact of the Magical Bullshit Field.

>>14972887
>>14972879
I might return to my dickish DM ways later along when shit starts hurtling toward the fan. Right now it's three rednecks' first RPG and they're having a great time ripping apart aliens with giant robots.

The thought of Eva battles done up as product-placement-laden sporting events is simultaneously hilarious and horrifying. Good work, OP!

>>14975247

The /m/ series Tiger and Bunny is pretty much this, actually, but with superheroes as well.

>>14974532
>>14975044
You could always have it end up being something other than simple high-octane gas. This is NGE after all, it's almost taken for granted that things get weird as the plot progresses. My money would be on some kind of Lilith secretion like LCL. She was just leaking the stuff like crazy in the series., and this way you might be able to turn the entry plug into some kind of LCL combustion chamber.

...but LCL doesn't catch fire, so that might not be the most cinematic route to take. If I was in this game I'd actually plan on hacking though my own fuel line to make an impromptu flamethrower at some point.

>>14975044
>I was thinking since Evas are battery-powered anyway, this version of them have massive gas-powered generators.

It's supercaloric paste. It feeds the EVA and ramps it up with drugs. The fact that it is highly exothermic is to be expected.

>>14975685
>...but LCL doesn't catch fire,
If the DM wills it, then it will burn.

>>14975679
I could look into that.

>>14975685
Oh. I didn't really forget about LCL, as it didn't really come up in the commentary (probably will slip it in there somewhere in future sessions), but it was halfway-explained to the pilots as a highly oxygenated fluid that aids with cushioning shock and neural interface with the machine, under the name of Jotunblut.

I'm reading Bradley in Cave Johnson's voice and Hood in John Madden's. It's glorious.

>>14976211Oh. I didn't really forget about LCL, as it didn't really come up in the commentary (probably will slip it in there somewhere in future sessions), but it was halfway-explained to the pilots as a highly oxygenated fluid that aids with cushioning shock and neural interface with the machine, under the name of Jotunblut.


It's yellowish and bubbly

it's beer. Your pilots become one with the Eihinjar by being submurged in COORS

>>14976731
Well, folks. I've got good news and bad news.

Good news is, those shelters you've been hiding in worked perfectly to shield you from the Aesir attack.

Bad news is, we can't figure out how to unlock the doors. You're gonna be in there a while.

Also, the boys tell me all those emergency rations expired months before Second Impact even happened. So if you see any mold when you tear that plastic off a brick of two-decade-old meatloaf, don't worry. It's probably the kind that makes penicillin. Which you'll need, being stuck in such close quarters for about a week.