Rough Riders

Indeed.

The Immortal God Emperor of Man you say?

>>15088675
>>15088650
You're smalltime, feminist coward.

>>15088630
>>15088687

What's with those stupid hats with shade cloths attached.

>>15088714
Built-in blindfold for when their successor puts them to death via firing squad.

>>15088687
Would a 'feminist coward' have ordered up hundreds of Duncan gholas?
Would a coward have swept his own father aside when he stepped in the way of the Golden Path?
Don't you have some mercury to drink or something?

>>15088630
>>15088687

Pipe down, old timers. Serious autocrats are talking.

Largest contiguous land empire representin'!

15088787
I was so blinded by my own greatness that I forgot my pic.

Great Khan, fuck yeah!

>>15088802
Nor did you reply correctly, uncouth savage.

Cyrus the Great chortles at your unwieldy conglomeration of nations.

>>15088714
Veil of Stars, if I can remember correctly

Its to give the image that the Emperor gazes "through the stars" i.e. As Heaven's will on Earth.

Only the Emperor of all China wears it, and the Emperors of East Asian nations acknowledge his preeminence by not wearing it, despite being chinese-influenced

>>15088802
Shush, Genghiz, we all know you just wanted to be Chinese

>>15088802
Do I make you proud, Grandpa?

Am I finally good enough?

Lohengramm is stunned by your faggotry.

>>15088896
>fail at invading Japan and last effective Mongol Ruler in China

NOPE

>>15088896
What >>15088912
said, kid.

Sorry, grandson. On average, I am disappoint. Props for China, though!

>>15088900
The Tyrant, Leto the Immortal God Emperor laughs at your attempts to run an interstellar empire.

>>15088971
I dunno. No magic dust. No immortality. Relatively small empire. And had to ursurp, conquer (twice) and then pass on the legacy in a way that didn't make it all futile...

Stephen Uroš IV Dušan the Mighty of Serbia, here.

Yes, we DID have an Empire, you goddamn pricks!

I gotta run, but when Austria-Hungary and the Ottomans get here, tell them they can all suck my fat South-Slavic cock.

>>15089062
Well, we will, but I think they'll still laugh at your portrait's googly eyes...

>>15089062
>>15089081
Oh, we would never be so crass!

...*snicker*...

>>15089081

SALADIN

UP IN THIS BITCH

>>15089132
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING LARDASS TURK! IF I HADN'T DIED I WOULD'VE FUCKED YOUR PEOPLE'S FUCKING ASPIRATIONS IN THE BALKANS UP THE ASS!
>>15089151
FUCK YOU PAGAN I WAS SEVEN FUCKING FEET TALL! IF I WEREN'T FUCKING DEAD I'D FUCK YOU UP!

>>15089177
Hey pally! What's up?

Emperor Wu of Wei all up ins

>>15089132
Now now, old boy. Don't get overconfident. I still gave you a run for your money, eh?

>>15089262

Not much holmes. Smokin' hashish, fuckin' concubines, unifying the Arab states.

Course, your bitch ass be makin' that shit all kinda easy, nigga. Now come hit this shit, it's stank as fuck.

Mo' fuckin' Jew-rusalem in here.

>>5089372

Watch out, man, I think I see a 15 year old leper creeping up behind you! Heh, just fuckin' with ya.

Russia hates all of you.

May you all suck the cocks of a million serfs, you /b/oyar scum.

>>15089177
sala ha din, and thats pronounced "deen" not din you fucking nigger.

>>15089503

Westernization, bitch nigger.

Deal with it.

Ṣalāḥ ad-Dīn Yūsuf ibn Ayyūb, actually. If you wanna get anal about it.

Hm? Is something going on around here?

I was too busy developing an alphabet to notice.

>>15089524

I just realized his western name is 'Saladin Joseph, son of Ayyub'. That's kinda funny.

It's quaint, the way you old leaders think you remain relevant.

>>15089545
Well I'm too busy liberating my country and expanding.

>>15089571

>implying Napoleon was ever relevant

The only thing that faggot did that changed anything was triple the size of the US.

Oh, and die of lead poisoning.

>>15089563
If it hadn't been for Saladin Joe
I'da been Sultan long time ago
Where did you come from where did you go
Where did you come from Saladin Joe...

>>15089563

And "Ayyub" is equivalent to another biblical name - Job. So it's Salah ad-Din Joseph, son of Job. The given name means "righteousness of faith."

>>15089591

>mfw this

>>15089601

>Ayyub = Job

Huh, no shit. Didn't know that.

>>15089571
DON'T MAKE ME CHOKE A BITCH, ARSETWAT.

QUEEN SODDING VICKY WON'T PUT UP WITH ANY MORE OF YOUR GODDAMNED BULLSHIT.

WE ARE NOT FUCKING AMUSED.

>>15089591
He came to town like fearsome sandstorm
He rode through the deserts so handsome and strong
His brains was his tools and his smile was his sword
But all he had come for was serving his Lord

>>15089620
Amusing

>>15089601
>mfw his name is basically "Righteous Joe"

>>15089695
He brought disaster wherever he went
The hearts of crusaders was to hell broken sent
They all ran away so nobody would know
and left mournful men cause of Saladin Joe...

>>15089715
If it hadn't been for Saladin Joe
I'da been Sultan long time ago
Where did you come from where did you go
Where did you come from Saladin Joe...

(repeat and fade)

Meeeeeeee.

Look at meeeeeeeeeeeee.

I'M IMPORTANT.

LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

>>15089895
Late to the party, Lexy.

I was told there were cocks in this thread.

Why the hell did no one tell me this was going on?

>>15090130
It's a conspiracy! They try to ignore us! Space Jesus shall melt their booooooooooones!

Someone said God-Emperor?

>Know that I'm the only LIVING Emperor on here
>Feels good, man

>>15090206
You were never the emperor, faggot

>>15090220
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU AND YOUR STUPID LITTLE ARCHIPELAGO I HATE YOUUUUU.

>>15090242
Butthurt is unbecoming in a man of your station, Khan.

>>15090220
Jesus Christ, you have a huge head.

>>15090269
IT'S BIG BECAUSE IT'S FULL OF FAIL AND IT RULES A STUPID INSIGNIFICANT ISLAND CHAIN THAT I NEVER WANTED ANYWAY.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TR_swxR2UE

Oh, so nobody thought I was important enough to mention earlier?

*sigh...*

>>15090368

How are you liking that smallpox?

>>15090373
Don't pay any attention to him, Montezuma. He's just a fag on the internet.

We were muthafuckin' GODS.

...briefly.

>>15090405
And you are?

>>15090238
I think you're mixing me up with my adoptive father and uncle Gaius Julius, screw him.

>>15090410
They call me... Atahualpa.

I think this thread proves that Old School > New School when it comes to Emprahs.

This is for you, Old School.

>>15090440
Oh go fuck an alpaca, you Incan fuck.

>>15090459
Screw you, Aztec shit! I was fucking trying to commiserate! Relive the fucking glory days before those fucking Spaniards! Fuck you! Go back to your shitty little sacrifices, I've got... uh... I'VE GOT THE GODSDAMNED BEST BUILT WALLS IN ALL OF GODSDAMNED SOUTH AMERICA!

>>15090499
>Indian
>proud of architechture

Don't mind me, it's not like my people invented arches and concrete or anything

Don't mind me, just being a depressing emperor over here in my corner.

>>15090499
How's it hangin' homes?

>>15090534
Derp, forgot my handsome picture.

>>15090517
Yes, you did steal those Greek ideas beautifully.

I miss the Greeks. It was such a pleasure to discuss mathematics...

REAL Indians up in this. Accept no American substitutes.

>>15090545
ALL MY HATE.
>>15090580
AND SCREW YOU, TOO. WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE.

>>15090580
>implying greeks
Nope.jpg

I'm not gonna deny that we inherited a lot of stuff from the Greeks (you know, since we conquered them), but you give them too much credit.

>>15090598
AND HAVE A HOT CUP OF FUCK YOURSELF.

FUCK ALL OF YOU. FUCK ASIA, FUCK EUROPE, FUCK AFRICA. YOUR SHITTY LITTLE EMPIRES ALL END UP THE SAME FUCKING WAY. WE FUCKING INVENTED OUR OWN MATH WITH STRING. DID YOU? FUCK NO. SO STAY FUCKED.

Don't mind me, having the best facial hair and helmet out of all Emperors. You mad, mad, mad as march hares?

>>15090632
I didn't know the Incas were the precursors of the Angry Marines.

>>15090636
You ain't no Hun, son.

>>15090636
Kaiser Wilhelm! How's the arm?

>>15090688
P-perfectly...
Wait, why do you ask? It's fine, it's always been fine. Look how not strange it looks in this picture. Don't you just love to grasp cavalry gloves?

>>15090529
Huh. I woke up just in time to have you suck my fat South-Slavic cock.

Hands and knees, bitch.

>>15090719
Magnificent! It is certainly a marvelous thing that you are the Kaiser, and not some cripple! No sir, I'd never acknowledge a cripple as a legitimate monarch!

>>15090748
Yeah, thank god he only hangs out with an inner circle of homosexuals and transvestites.

>>15090775
>>15090748
Stop that.

No matter how hard you try, you'll never be the King of Heroes, mongrels.

>>15090790
Ignore them. They're just jealous. Now, I believe Alexander the Great was in this thread, wasn't he?

Prester John, sounding off!

I'm not real, but damn if my imaginary empire isn't awesome. Suck it, Corpse King, I got religion but no grimderp.

A thousand blessings, /tg/! I have been asked to give you a message, let me see, what was it...

Ahem. "Yo, dawg, I heard you like precious metals, so I put gold in your gold so you can be rich while you be rich".

I think that was right. How odd.

Yo.

I'm bored. Anyone got any Bulgars around here?

>>15090921
Ahem. I'm first amongst Byzantine Emperors and therefore should have been the first to Emperor. And now that I'm here....where is that faggot Sully-man or whatever his name was.

You can trust me. India is as a peacefull as it gets

>>15090929
Ohohohohohohoho. How droll.

>>15090929
Bloody Image. This is totally undignified for a man of my stature.......

YOU WILL ALL PERISH IN A SEA OF FIRE AND SUFFERING!

>>15090936
>>15090949
Oh god

You're bringing up so many horrific memories...

I'm in ur Anatolia, destroyan ur empire.

Also Vlad Tepes was a faggot.

>>15090958
Oh I'm sorry Turk, I can't hear you over the screams of the dying turks and other assorted scum I just impaled. I'll try to be more polite in the future, I may even listen to your last dying request when your time comes.....

>>15090421
Shit nigga, yes I am. wtf is wrong with me. Besides sleep deprivation. Humblest apologies, I shall now commit sudoku.

Empire of Brazil, here. I guess. In retrospect, maybe I should have let Isabel take the reigns.

Heh. Little royalty pun.

So about that sun never setting on my empire thing...

>>15090499
Bro, calm down please! You know what happens when you get angry...

I tried guys, I tried.....fucking hell, I did try.

Last Roman Emperor, signing out.

>>15090822
They jelly

Hey. The only person ever to be an Emperor of 2 Realms.

Doppelkaiser > You.

Thread's been archived on suptg.

>>15091107
Holy Roman Emperor? Pah, like the HRE was ever holy, Roman or an Empire

>>15091149
Or the Austrian Empire was ever Austrian.

Germanic peoples, how do they work?

>>15091149

The fuck you say? The Patriarch of Rome favours us, and vested upon us the destiny of the Romans, and our Empire held out against the Turk and WAS Christendom with a bunch of jumped up barbarians tagging along for the ride.

>>15091165
You are all a bunch of creeps

>>15091173

Come at me, brother.

>>15091165
You tell him Great Granddad!

>>15091183
I am above this. I'll go work on my science and bang chicks while you practice reading

>>15091199

You jumped up little shit....you would have NOTHING without my efforts!

....besides, I can read...its not like Brother Gaius is beside me reading your posts or anything

>>15091208
You tell 'em, boy! Kick his ass!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZldCnV2Q0Fg&feature=related

To hell with all of you!

All you ever did was oppressing the mankind under arbitrary rules and "divine right". You deny them their humanity by sending them to wars and taxing them to death! You want nothing but power, and the history books are strewn with bones of your victims!
Religions you preach to defend are nothing but the opium for the masses, and you perpetuate the feudalism and backwardness.

Cast off the shackles of the imperialists!
Peoples of the World, Unite!

>>15091242
You jelly, Stalin?

>>15091242
Nah. Don't feel like it.

>>15091251
And this, boys and girls, is how civilization works.

/thread

>>15091242
We've tried that before and it didn't work out too well bro. We can't do a eudaemonic society without figuring out how to get rid of the entire stick, until then -someone- gets the shit end of said stick.

>>15091242
>>15091250
>>15091251
>>15091261

Problems, mankind?

>>15091287
Where's Medvedyev?

>>15091242
/tg/ seems to be full of commiefags in even the most tangentially related threads. We should be glad nobody's mentioned the word 'corporation' yet.

>>15091306
Nobody bothered to invite him.

They know Putin'll be back in a few months, anyway.

>>15091316
>We should be glad nobody's mentioned the word 'corporation' yet
>corporation

Shit.

>>15091287
Hang on, is this trolling collectivists or the apathetic or anti-Utopians?

Or apathetic anti-Utopian collectivists?

Because it you're trolling the apathetic, good sir, I intend to do nothing. Furiously!

>>15091316
For a balanced debate, you always need people from the left, because this thread is full of cynical, reactionary conservatives.

>>15091319

Russian here.

Fuck Putin.

>>15091460
Hey, man, I didn't say it was a good thing. I'm not a fan, myself.

Just being realistic. Medvedyev was only there in the first place as Putin's puppet placeholder while he served some time as Prime Minister so he could run again as President thereafter. I mean, everybody knows that, right?

>>15091250
>Thinks Stalin was motivated by soclialism
>laughinghistorians.jpg

>>15091471

Recent happenings have shed doubt on that fact. And anyway, not many people here want Putin back. Most of them want STALIN back, and that's terrible.

>>15091480
From what I recall, isn't it sorta like

>Cold war: Man look at those fancy consumer goods, we want some of that shit
>Shortly after the fall of the USSR: Sweet we can have that shit
>Now: It's overrated, and WHERE ARE THE JOBS?! THERE WOULD BE ENOUGH JOBS IF WE WERE STILL COMMUNIST!

Zog.