John. John Cockburn

Needs cat ears

>>15187045
>just nameless. Lets change that.
His name is Oswald. Oswald Jones, IV. His family were not imaginative people.

Needs a background.

Perhaps something involving a forest? Maybe a crowded city street?

>>15187052
O-ohkay. Now that he has a name its time to move on.

He is destined for mortal combat. He needs a melee weapon.

>>15187052
That's MISTER Cockburn to you, plebe!

>>15187067
metal mop and bin lid shield.

WE ARE THE TRASH KNIGHT.

battle axe

>>15187067
A shitty replica katana bought at an 'alternative' store once, on a whim, which he then sharpened laboriously with a simple whetstone.

>>15187072
>>15187081
I would petition for a spear mop.
Pretty much just sharpened on the non-mop end.

a faribane sykes fighting knife

>>15187045
Chain Whip.

>>15187067
A huge revolver which is no longer functional and is wielded as a club.

>>15187065
A small clearing in the middle of a forest will do.

>>15187081

:I

he wasn't orky enough, FTFY OP

Garbage can for armour. His mount is one of those sweeping machines you can ride.

He is faced with his opponent who is also nameless and weaponless. We should probably change that too.

>>15187109

A man made from lost post and packages. his weapon is a fish.

>>15187109
surely THIS is Oswald Jones IV...?!

>>15187109
His name, inexblicably, is 'the milkman'

>>15187109
This man is also armed with Mop and Trash Lid.
But, He has a Goatee!
An evil twin!

He's been your rival since you where kids, now, what was his name again?

>>15187112
He is known as the Lost Postman. He is on a neverending crusade to return that which has been lost.

Neither wind, nor rain, nor sleet, nor hail...

>>15187120
...Gary Oak?

Yay! Jo's drawing shit!

the enemy has a tux, and a bow-tie. Bow-ties are cool.

>>15187112
Holy shit why would you...
>>15187115

OSWALD JONES THE IV IS BATTLE READY

>>15187134
Splendid!
Round 1. FIGHT!

>>15187134
IT'S TIME TO CLEAN OUT THE TRASH.

>>15187131
Who?
>>15187151
YES. This is the BATTLE MODE! Since neither one of there combatants are experts its highly, HIGHLY SUGGESTED that you instruct them on how to wield their weapons!

John stabs Oswald in the eye with the mop. Oswald brings the fish down on John's head

>>15187159
SMASH THE ENEMY WITH IT! AIM FOR THE BALLS!

>>15187159

Oswald IV is holding his fish by the wrong end. You're supposed to stick your arm up it's mouth to wield it properly.

>>15187159
>Hit man with fish
>???
>Hit man with fish again
>Eventual profit

>>15187159
John, hit Him in the face with your mop to blind him!

>>15187159
oswald tries to hit john hard in the nuts to end the fight soon

>>15187159
Well, I seem to be an expert in trash can and mop fighting.
Mop your opponent's face hard. Don't stop until you reach his brain.
Also, use the trash can to defend yourself.

John, protect your balls with that shield!

John Cockburn; use Intimidate:

'I'll mop the floor with you, Oswald!

>>15187159
Blind with mop then shield bash, John!

You also have the range with both the shield and mop, so keep him at a distance.

>>15187159
It is know that the best way ti wield the mop as a battle weapon is to hold it in your mouth.

And the trashcan lid goes on the the head because the head is the most important part of the body, you need to protect it.

>>15187184
EVER TOOK A TRASH CAN LID IN THE FACE?
ME NEITHER, BUT IT OUGHT TO BE FAR MORE PAINFUL THAN A MOP.


MYU PLAN IS THE BEST PLAN!

FIRST, PUSH HIM IN THE GUTS ITH THE MOP, THEN, THROW THE LID AT HIM, CAPTAIN AMERICA-STYLE!

AND THEN, BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH THE MOP.

>>15187166

Blows are traded

rolled 6 = 6

>>15187159
I swing my mighty Fish in the air, yell "Looks like SOMEONE is about to get marked for shipping...!"

>>15187205
Shove the fish down his throat.

> Looks like SOMEONE is about to get marked for shipping...!

This made my morning. Cheers, anon.

>>15187170
Really? Maybe he should've read the manual.

and so /tg/ started to fight itself in the image of an enemy, choosen by itself. Just responding to each other attacks with no judge about their actions, without a real goal other than to fight the other one, you are responding to, i am rather surprised, but then...

>>15187184
OSWALD THE IV USES HIS FISH TOP PLAY DRUMS ON JOHNS BALL, JOHN SUFFERS BIG TIME!

Nooo! Oswald to win!

C'mon Oswald, deliver a few STAMPS

...out of professional interest: What programm are you using to draw, OP?

>>15187221
PROTECT YOUR FUCKING BALLS JOHN
AND USE YOUR GODDAM MOP'S REACH TO HIT WITHOUT BEING HIT

>>15187171
>>15187175

FISHY BALL BASH!!

Mops fall, every fish flies.

Make it happen.

John is stunned by the heavy nautical blow to his soft man spheres.

But he is not beaten.

He goes Super Sayin

>>15187267
Jam the mop into his face.
Then twist it around some.

>>15187267
It's Captain America time--throw the shield as Oswald! Charge for the finishing blow with the mop while he's stunned!

>>15187267
SHIELD BASH.

SIDEWAYS.

INTO HIS MOUTH.

THEN CHOKE HIM WITH YOUR MOP.

>>15187272
>>15187267
He goes super saiyan and throws the trash can lid like a kung lao hat

>>15187190

I'll...mOP THE FLOOR WITH YOU...

>>15187267
time to mount your shield to the front of your pants, John. Through your belt. Like a massive, MASSIVE redneck belt buckle.
Now, wield your mop 2 handed, like a counterbalanced katana. Because we ALL KNOW katanas are OP compared to all weapons.

>>15187289
Oswald: Realise shit just got real.

>>15187290
I'm tired of this masterwork mop bullshOW STOP HITTING ME OKAY OKAY I'LL STOP

OSSSWAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLD!!!!

quick Oswald, eat your tasty fish to restore 5hp!!

>>15187196

>>15187328
nuuuuuuuuU!
John, you must show this poor lost man mercy!
COCKBURN, COCKBURN THE MERCIFUL!!

Oswald takes a reeling hit! He's like a fish out of water!

>>15187220

Looks like SOMEONE...is about to get marked for shipping!

>>15187328
John: Pick the shield as it goes back like Captain America
John: Look like a fucking badass.

Oswald: Slowly turn your head back, serious mode.

>>15187338
>>15187328
After all - HE WAS ONCE... YOUR PARTNER

>>15187346
*chortle*
>but wait
OSWALD!! GET YOUR FISHU TO TEH WATER! AQUATIC BATTLE TIME GOOOU!

>>15187347
FUCK YES MY LINEEEEEE!!!
Oswald: eat the fish, regain health, and BEAT FACE WITH FISHBONES!

>>15187347
POSTAL CODE #40729!!!!!

EXTENDED..! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

>>15187354
That haddock... But Oswald usually fights with a trout!

...In fact, the more I think about that new weapon of his, the more I think something's off... that something smells....

This fucking thread.

>>15187370
...Strange!

(Then again, it could just be a red herring)

>>15187374
FINISHING MOVE! DO IT JOHN COCKBURN!

>>15187211

John: Take out the trash

>>15187386
>>15187381
yes. YES! YESSS!!
Mister JONES!

>>15187381
Finally the mop's range was put to use!
Now is time to stab with the other side of the mop!
There's no mercy while in RAGE-modo

>>15187386
consider this a CAUTIONARY TAIL, Oswald!

OP, are you the one who did that /v/ fighting /b/ comic?

John Cockburn performs a mop-riposte trip attack!

>>15187395
Fuck, I mean Cockburn. fail.

John Cockburn is destined for mortal kombat correct? then FINISH HIM!!!

>>15187279

Thank god for Captain America boomerang shield physics!

>>15187421
Take his shield, Oswald.

Oswald needs to use his classiness.
BRITISH FISH ATTACK (Chips not included, pip pip cherrio.)

>>15187338
>>15187445
>dem gladiator quotes

>>15187348

>>15187427
And put it in a box.

>>15187469
And ship it.

>>15187482
AND TRACK IT'S PROGRESS ONLINE. yeah.

>>15187362
Minor bruises from that stupid fucking shield are healed but Oswald is still blind in one eye.

>>15187494
What happened to your boxes, Oswald

>>15187494
Yes. We have fishbones.

STABH IM IN THE EYE, OSWALD.
IN THE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYE

>>15187494
be blinds one eye? YOU STAB BOTH OF HIS WITH FISHBONES!
You can do this Oswald!

Let's go McGyver on this bich.

Seperate the spine from the rest of the corpse, and use the spine to make a fish blowgun. Use the bones as darts.

OP, I love you. you got me through the worst part of my workday.
cheers.

>>15187366

POSTING CODE #40729!!!

>>15187518
AND DART HIM

IN THE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYE

>>15187524
Oswald: Return to sender
John: Keep in his blind spot, jab with mop.

EXTENDED!!!

Green guy: Reveal yourself

>>15187532

Heh, Hey Oswald - What do you call a Fish with no EYE?


FSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
John:

SHIIIIIIIPPIIINNG!!!!

>>15187557
WAAAAA-TATATATATATATATATATATATATA!
WAAATA!

>>15187557
John: Burst out, it's time to clean out the trash!

...

>>15187580
Cockburn cleaves the box in twain, to reveal radioactive mutant killer Schroedinger's cat.

...

>my face when this thread
>my face when I have no face because my face would bring it closer to the image limit

AWWW SHIT SON

>>15187606
Charge with your shield captain america style

>>15187624

JOHN COCKBURN, GO SUPER SAIYAN.

he mad.

John be mad too

holy shit this is amazing.

>>15187654
FINISH HIM

>>15187654

>>15187654
TAKE. OUT. THE. TRASH.

>>15187654
Oswald is ready.

>>15187503
Ripped off by John's spear

>>15187507
>>15187514
>>15187518

Holy fuck that just made him madder.

>>15187716
WHILE HE IS DISTRACTED
UNLEASH YOUR FURY

>>15187654
You just opened a can of mop-fu!

>>15187716
He took our eye. We'll send him to meet his maker, with a fucking stamp that says "Return to sender."

>>15187716
OH GOD NOTHING CAN STOP HIM

>>15187775
IMPALE HIM ALL THE WAY.

GRAB OTHER END OF BROOM.

USE CORPSE TO MOP.

>>15187750

PUNCH COCKBURN!

ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA

Hey Oswald, what do you call a fish with no eye?

John: SEPULCHRITUDE!

He rapes the corpse

>>15187862
EAT HIS HEART!

Oswald: fake death

>>15187880

There is no need to desecrate the body. John has won, and he will enjoy his victory for a very long time.

A cthulhu'esque creature dwells where Oswalds heart should be!

>>15187862
bury him. he deserves at least this.

>>15187862
JOHN GAINS 47 EXPERIENCE. 53 EXPERIENCE LEFT TO LEVEL 2.

>>15187862
OH GOD, YOU'VE KILLED HIM.

YOU'VE KILLED THE LOST KING OF TAELETH.

Oswald is dead...
WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

Is he blind in one eye too?

He better buy an eyepatch.

Transform into Mop-bot

now with out his life long mortal enemy to battle, john's life has no meaning

cue green guy attacinkg

Unfortunately for John, time is relative. And the previous statement about him living a very long time was more rooted in the lifespan of a fruit fly instead of a human.

Turns out John is deathly allergic to fish, and all that rage filled cardio caused the toxins to cycle throughout his body.

Shit happens.

>>15187972
Fuck you.

John: Cheat death

>>15187972
Punch the toxins out of your body.

>>15187972
Pyrrhic victory!

Use anti-fish serum

>>15187982

Nope.

>>15187959

>Maybe some other time.

This was a very amusing thread, props to you OP.

>>15188008

That's just about the best way two fated nemeses can hope to go out.

John's body: Create antidote

>>15188008

That fucking fish was behind all of this! The moustache-twirling machiavellian catfish behind our hero's untimely demise.

MFW Schroedinger's Catfish

so this all or is there more to come?
because this was quite an interesting thread.

OP, I salute you

>>15188027
green guy

"just as planned..."

This was a good thread and deserves as many sequels as possible.

Op was a pretty cool guy, but /tg/ acted like a bunch of 13 y.o. kids.

>>15187399
Nope, wish I was though. That guy is a fuckin' beast monster.

Also I'm pretty sure someone asked what program I use, its openCanvas 1.1.

>>15188047
Well this is the second thread like this I've done and both of them have gotten pretty good reactions so I don't see why not. I like to draw shit killing other shit anyway so this is a good way to do it without it turning into a mary sue clusterfuck.

This thread is good and you should feel good.

>>15188100
Your future threads will always be followed by me! Because you used my postal man idea and the fish, mop the floor with you, and FSSHHH. Was awesome

>>15188100
You deserve a web site for these.

>>15188100
>Also I'm pretty sure someone asked what program I use, its openCanvas 1.1.

Oh, thanks for that. Any reason for using it over, say, PhotoShop? Other than it being free I mean.

>>15188249
With Hamachi you can draw with other people on one canvas, thus the name. Thats....really it..

...Everything else about the program is EXTREAMLY inferior to photoshop and they way it does layers is fucking retarded.

Someone archive this goddamn thing.

Archive this shit! someone!

>>15188263
Well, the canvas thing sounds interesting for online PnP play.
But there are better programms for this I guess.

>>15188263
Here's a drawfag question for you:
How the hell do you get good with mouse drawing? It's the biggest bitch to handle. My drawfag skills are mediocre IRL, translated to computer mouse it's worse than stick figures.
Anything in particular other than practice?

>>15188405
Drawing with a mouse in and of itself is pretty silly. I mean it CAN be done, and you CAN make some sweet stuff, but it'll take you three times as long to draw it because you'll have to compensate for the dramatic loss in accuracy by reducing your drawing speed and heavy editing.

Depending on your skill, and how fast you are you can sometimes get away with scanning in drawings. I've seen people do it, but I wouldn't suggest it if you want to do stuff on fast boards.

>>15188298
do it yourself

head over to suptg

the process is idiot proof

>>15188441
Neah, personal enjoyment mostly.
You own a tablet then? I had one, at some point a few years ago. It got these odd lags at points and I stopped using it. The thing broke down completely 13 months after I bought it.

>>15188513
Yeah I have an old ass wacom graphire 4. The grip melted off of the pen a long time ago, and I've had to glue the pen back together after it cracked to all hell.

Also its done its fare share of glitching the fuck out for no reason, but other than that its not bad.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15187045/

Shazam.

Anybody looking for a cheap, good graphics tablet, look into getting a Wacom Bamboo.

>>15188441
Weaver draws entirely with a mouse.