Worst DM ever was from my first ever game. DMPCs outnumbered PCs. Every time we tried to veer from the scripted plot, we got given ominous, vague threats about what would happen if we followed through. Magical artifacts that worked only for the DMPCs, fights that wrapped up with asspulls when the DM was outsmarted... it wasn't fun.

> Dm says we're going to play something different
> All set up our characters for standard D&D shenanigans
> Realize 5 minutes in, he's running a world that's all furries.

Uh. This one time I was in a low-level 3.5 game that was 100% by the rules and extremely dull. It was kind of boring, I guess.

IRC game for Eclipse Phase. GM would not stop talking about the awesome detective NPC he was adding to our party to help us out. Setup also went nowhere; was in the channel for 3-4 hours and we never got past "tell me about your characters).

>>15510995
totally read that in Sinclair's voice. That is Sinclair right? Fuck I can't Bioshock.

Worst DM I had was follows:
>gf in the game
>was a total raver/stoner, thought he was smart and he really wasn't
>bullshit rulings all over to nerf clever ideas from the party
>had his raver friends play with him, all idiots and most quit save one
>played 3.5, coming off 3e, and didn't understand most of the changes, or even most of the rules period
>ripped off Castlevania for his plot
>MASSIVE RAILROADING HOLY FUCK
>no choice but to follow his storyline
>DMPC, a half vampire warlock, our taskmaster was a lich
>did I mention that his last stoner friend was a good cleric of Yondalla? and never questioned working for a lich?
>would run games without certain people to get his friend, gf, and his own character xp, once over 4k xp from a single session
>got mad when i brought up things to him that I had problems with
I quit, and the 4 other people in the game who weren't assholes are gonna quit too. So it's a good end.

>>15511231
Yes, that is Sinclair.

>>15510995
Take all the time you need, brother.

Mean time, worst DM? Monotone railroading motherfucker. My first real campaign. Sends us to a Netherese floating city at level 7, which he promptly crashed, nearly resulting in a TPK. Had us herd sheep, nearly resulting in a TPK. Player kills a random orc; three weeks later, an orc warband led by the father of the previous dead orc is marching toward us. We hire dwarven mercenaries for the battle, which still nearly resulted in a TPK, and now we're broke. Get geassed and an ubermench DMPC fighter/farmer to lead us by the nose to wherever the fuck we're supposed to go. Say no, nearly TPK from the fucking geass.

At this point, I went off to basic, thank christ. Turns out, the ubermench DMPC fighter/farmer was actually the Tarrasque. Some ubermench DMPC wizard apparently split the Tarrasque into the fighter and a sword. If the fighter touched the sword, they turned back into the Tarrasque. That DID turn into a TPK.

Wherever you are Mark, fuck you.

>>15511264

>>At this point, I went off to basic, thank christ. Turns out, the ubermench DMPC fighter/farmer was actually the Tarrasque. Some ubermench DMPC wizard apparently split the Tarrasque into the fighter and a sword. If the fighter touched the sword, they turned back into the Tarrasque

Wow. Been a while since I heard about something as stupid as this.

>>15511296
What, me going to basic? (Fairly stupid on my part, as I have learned.) Or the UBERMENCH? (Fuck you, Mark, you fucking fat fuck fucker fuckass fuck.)

>>15511339

The farmer tarrasque.

No idea what going to basic means.

>>15511352
Basic Training
Army

>>15511361
Thank you for explaining.

>>15511352
More specifically, OSUT (one station unit training) for Infantry at Ft. Benning, GA. Six plus years, and a decent number of really good DMs (a lot of nerds in the infantry or related jobs!) later, I still hate Mark for what he did to my fragile formative gaming years. Prick.

GODDAMNIT! Someone else post something on topic, please? I'm starting to rant and I need to shut the fuck up. Good/Bad/Ugly DM/GM/ST stories!

FIGHT THE GOBLINS
Okay, we fight the goblins
MY DMPC WILL HELP YOU
okay, whatever
HES A NOBLE PALADIN LAWFUL GOOD
Okay
HE KILLSTEALS YOUR GOBLINS, AND TAKES ALL THE TREASURE

Fuck that
I attack him
HE SLAPS YOUR SHIT
Okay, what now
HE TAKES YOU TO JAIL

This is gay.

Joe, die in a house fire while your ex-girlfriends divulge every bad memory of you to your mother, as she weeps and cries out
>Why, God, why didn't you send me a better son?

Okay so the DM is my friend's Girl. She's all artsy and such, constantly spouting off about her latest graphic design project, or the basic art classes she's going through. Whatever, I have suffered through worse. So she starts us off in this basic fantasy capitol city, that was at the same time near the frontier. Okay, sure. Geography is hard, and it takes time. Then she says a cult has invaded a nearby city and we're pulled into a crusade. She throws us, at literally an entire city full of cultists, expecting us to be able to defeat them as level 3 characters (there are five of us). We try to get creative and burn the damn place down, then it starts to rain. Then we try to break in and assault the leader, and that goes about as well as one could imagine.

So everyone died except for myself (a fighter) and another player ( a rogue). The DM proceeds to tear into us after the session, saying that we burned through 2 weeks of material in 7 hours. Apparently we were supposed to gain a few levels in town, and we were too stupid to see it. I considered quitting there, but she wanted to keep going and people would just re-roll. So we do that and such and then we find ourselves as part of a crusade to retake the town that we previously attempted to assault. Well we're going through a mountain range and there is a landslide, which kills three of the characters who fail their reflex saves outright, and again myself and the rogue are standing. The DM then sighs and says that was supposed to kill all of us, and that she's bored of playing, but has another campaign in mind.

>>15511163
>Obligitory furfag hate
Sorry I just don't buy that as the worst DM you ever had. If he made it yiff and yiff 3.5, then yeah, but if the world was well made and just had furry races in it... You should calm down over it.

As for my own garbage GM experience:
>Party of 3.5 characters
>Elite array
>PHB Classes only
>Limited spells, magic is rare
>GMPC is a fucking overpowered godmode vampire wizard
>BAD RAILROADING EVERYWHERE
>Somehow make it to the end of the campaign, we all have characters we like now, even if godmod vampire ruined our fun for the first 10 levels before he fucked off.
>Fight BBEG
>BBEG is level 60 party is level 14
>WTFHAX
>Kills everyone
>OMIGAWD YAY! Now you get to come back as spirit warriors!
>Realize five minutes into his explination we're now playing Bleach the RPG

>>15511411
So she was so bad, she actually failed at "Rocks fall everyone dies"? That's pretty ridiculous.

>>15511426
That's so terrible it hurts

And to top it all off, I fucking hate that show.

The worst GM I ever had was the one who thought it would be a good idea to let the minmaxed druid be the familiar of the minmaxed sorcerer.

Also he gave them both a shitton of templates for free.

>>15511411
Wait, she failed at railroading you and rock falls everyone dies? She failed at failing as a DM.

>>15511426
Gygax is spinning so fast in his grave, he could power continental Europe if someone could harness it.

>>15511518
>We go to shitty place he has for us
>get the whole Hunter rap
>Im sitting there doodling through the whole thing, the whole rehashed were hunters and the night is evil and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
Its basically fucking X Men at this point and being in a wheel chair
>MAKE XAVIER JOKES
>Get punished more with auto hits
>Enemy comes
>ARMY OF NOSFERATUS (no explanation , cause you know Vampires have armies of thousands of hungry vamps)
>Game ends early
>"See ya at the next game"
>There is no next game....ever
>He forgets completely


a yup

Not so much a bad DM as an inexperienced DM:
>Party is like 8 players.
>I'm a barbarian.
>I always die somewhere in the first 10 rounds of combat, as the DM interprets my purely RP challenging bellow as a game mechanic that forces all the monsters to attack me to the exclusion of all else.
>The killing blow never brings me below -10 HP, and no monster ever tries to finish me off.
>With six other people at the table, I never had to roll to stabilize. Everyone just forgot about me unless things got really dire and someone heals me so I can save the day.
>I mention it at the end of the campaign. "Stabilize? What's that?"

>>15511478
>>15511442
He was never allowed to GM ever again. A note of intrest. He plays herpderp fighters and drow. We should've seen it coming.

We were playing Star Wars d20.

The crew consists of two Jedi Knights (One a Consular, the other a Guardian), a Mandalorian mercenary, a droid, a scout, and my Bothan noble.

First session goes by fine. Space station, Sith, blah blah blah. A few too many KotOR references tossed out by him and one of the Jedi. He does, however, put harsher restrictions on the Jedi than the rulebooks did. Ups some power costs, tells them that he wouldn't allow some of their powers to work like in the book. Mainly energy-redirection stuff.

We roll with it. It's fine.

One of the Jedi players, the droid player, and I start scheming ways to get money, so we can actually get a decent ship rather than the clunker he sold us. We get the idea of my noble using his class ability to pull in favors in order to set up a factory on an asteroid. Start by having droids build droids. Then sell some as more start to build.

He says we can't do that. Not because it's cheap, but because he's just then decided to rewrite that little perk of the Noble class. First he puts a severe monetary limit on my favor, then he says that it's the only one I can call in. Ever. This irritates the three of us, causes an argument between the Jedi players and the DM, but we'll roll with it. Session ends, new one begins a week later.

So we're cruising along Tatooine in our clunker, looking for crystals for... Some reason I can't recall. When the ship shakes. Several times. We can't see what's going on from the inside, so one of the Jedi opens a hatch on top of the ship and looks out to see a kryat dragon throwing boulders at the ship with its tail.

There's a long silence. The Jedi then kills the dragon by way of an entire belt of thermal detonators down the gullet. However, with the last second of life, it throws one more boulder at us and knocks out all power, sending us into a crash landing.

The engines appear damage and the DM rules that the droid cannot make it outside to check things out, though he could go out through a ramp if he wanted. So my noble, looking to make himself useful (Especially with a 17 INT backing things up), goes to inspect.

That's when the Tusken Raiders come in. The characters inside are talking about them, but the Raiders, from over a hundred feet away, hear them over my Bothan's commlink. I'd never said I turned it off, so it was automatically on. They snipe him and send him fleeing to hide under the ship while the Jedi and the Mandalorian move out to deal with them.

Basically. It ended with the Jedi being mowed down by blaster fire before they got within twenty feet of the Raiders, the Mandalorian deciding it wasn't worth the trouble, and the players just deciding to quit the game and go to Call of Cthulhu. At least we knew we'd be screwed when we started playing that.

First time I really play D&D (as before that it was just assing around with the system, the usual "LOL I MADE AN ELF WIZARD" horseshit) was not just with "That GM," but also "That Group." However, considering this is a bad GM thread, I shall skip the clusterfucking of that.

We were in a round-robin GM game, where we all had a turn as the DM, and all of us were bad DMs in some form or fashion. I was bad because I was inexperienced, but everyone else was bad in other ways. One player, as the DM, started handing out magical items and wishes to the 3rd level party. Another DM pretty much ran insane, random dungeons that were meat-grinders. Another was a heavy rail-roader ("You killed the boss? Fuck you, do-over!").

My personal favorite, though, was when the guy who had it out for me was running. This might sound like complaining on my end, but I think what he pulled was rather horseshit.

>>15511231
It is the closest thing I can approximate to my own voice, so I just decided to put it next to my post to let people know how to read the words I write, if it is of any help at all.

>>15511563
So we get sucked into some sort of Hell Dimension, 'round level 15 or so. The DM has his usual DMNPC there, as well as his actual character. The DMNPC is the usual "Mysterious Cloaked Figure" who, unless I am mistaken, apparently was a half-fiend celestial with both divine and arcane magic (and could use a sword to boot). Not only that, but motherfucker was throwing around Meteor Swarms like my Wizard could Magic Missile.

Anyway, the DMNPC is supposed to supply us with equipment. In character, he has no reason to really dick any of us over besides possibly plot. He passes out various powerful and ludicrous magic items (Hell, I think the Fighter got the Sword of Kas, but my memory may be playing tricks on me). When he gets to me, he "gives" me (really, he literally shoves it into my hand and then grips my hand so I can't get rid of it) a Scarab of Death. Yeah. Can you say "Dead Wizard?" None of the other players, in or out of character, bat an eye, and they leave my body there despite the fact that the Cleric is rolling around with some sort of bullshit staff of Resurrection.

I start to complain to the DM, but he looks at me and goes "You could have gotten rid of it at any time," despite me actually trying to get rid of it (and having to roll opposed Strength, which is no fun when you have strength 10 and the other motherfucker has strength 40).

>>15511609
Why? Why would he do that?

I play tabletop games with a group of people I've been talking to for between 3 and 4 years. We haven't met in real life due to geography (actually, some of us have, but I haven't met any of them) but we know each other very well, etc, etc.
So, one of my friends decides it would be cool to run a Deadlands game. I decide to go along with it and make a blacksmithing type guy from Louisiana. Now, I'm not a big backstory guy usually - I prefer to develop my character after I play a few sessions to see how I want to roleplay - but I ended up writing a lot more shit than I normally do for this blacksmith character. My other friends make a crazy old prospector with a double barrelled shotgun, a gunslinger, and a Union soldier type.
I've known the guy who is the GM for a while, and he's definitely not a bad guy, but something ugly in him showed around the second session.
We were riding via carriage through the mountains, and it was snowy - we were on our way to investigate a family that went missing near a lake (This actually happened IRL, can't remember what the incident's called though. Long story short people got trapped underneath a large amount of snow and ended up eating each other, gruesome shit).
All went well until we were attacked by wolves, which we fumbled to notice before they ambushed us. At this point we noticed that the combat system in Deadlands is fucking retarded, because a couple of us could shoot upwards of 16 times in about 3 seconds. When we fought them off, the GM declared that the wolves "left no tracks" and we couldn't follow them. The session ended there, and so did the entire campaign. He never hosted another game, and that all that time I spent writing this stupid blacksmith for this broken-ass ruleset went wasted.

>>15511655
The Donner party. My brother and I refer to it as the Bonner party, and imagine it was a lot more/less fun

>>15511674
Yeah, that was it. Thanks

>>15511655
I believe you're thinking of the Donner party.

Some time ago I've joined a group that was playing DSA. The DM told me that the adventure was going to involve lots of mystery, riddles, puzzles and similar problems that can't be solved with violence. Anyway the entire group makes characteres and I decide to play a wise cracking sorcerer / witch while the rest of the party (who knew the DM beforehand) make a viking, a dwarf fighter and a allrounder mage.
If you are not familiar with the DSA system here's the gist of it.
You roll 3d20 (in order) and compare them to attributes you have, if you roll below the attributes you pass, if you roll above you fail. In addition if you have some points in the skill you may use those to decrease the die by that number.
If you roll a one on any of these die you auto-win, if you roll a 20 you auto-fail (unless you also rolled a one in which case they cancel out).
Now our DM decided to change the rules and removed the auto-win part.
The probability to roll a 20 on 3d20 is 14%...14% to auto-fail any task ever.
But it's not just about the system, the bad continues.
In part 2

>>15511635
Not really sure. He was the sort of asshole that tried to always fuck with the new guy, and always tried to fuck with someone during a game. The entire group was horrifyingly dysfunctional, but unfortunately for the longest time they were literally the only game in town.

I have more stories about the terrible GMs, if anyone is interested.

>>15511706
Please, do go on. One thing I've learned is that telling other people about how much something sucks makes it suck less for you. Works for my PTSD at least.

>>15511705
>cooldowns

>>15511705
>waiting for a firemaking skill to cool down
DOES HE THINK YOU EACH HIT AND ONCE AND GAVE UP? YOU GOTTA WORK AT THAT SHIT

SPARK-DARK, WHERE'S MY SIRE?
WILL I LAY ME?
WILL I STAY ME?
BLESS THIS CAMP WITH FIRE

>>15511716
So one of the DMs from the round robin game, about five or so years back, wants to run a game, and claims improvement. Specifically, he's the one passing around wishes and +4 swords to low level adventurers.

So our mission in the game was to go meet up with some dwarves, past a great desert. For a change of pace, I ran a monk, specifically designed to be nearly impossible to kill (as the asshole guy was playing). Say what you will about 3.5 monks, but if you do it right they are harder than fuck to kill.

Anyway, we get to this town at the edge of the desert in order to resupply and get information, as apparently the desert is generally closed off to non-soldiers. However, we have orders from the king, yada yada, to go get dwarves. Honestly, I was kind of zoned out during most of the story, mainly because I was half expecting some sort of clusterfuck.

Me and the party dwarf go to the local watering hole, and I say my character is "going to drink and listen around for anything interesting." Literally, that is exactly what I said out of character. The DM nods, then goes over to what another character was doing (I want to say it was negotiating for pack animals and supplies from an asshole merchant.), then rotates around to what each character is doing. You know, typical stuff. So far it isn't too bad, other than the plot being kind of meh.

>>15511768

So he gets back to me and says three hours have passed, and tells me to roll Fortitude. I laugh, assuming I have been poisoned by a villain or something. Given I am a level 7 monk with a 21 Constitution, I think I am going to be pretty good. I roll, wanna say a 24 or something. DM looks at me and tells me I pass out unconscious...

...because he assumed I had been binge drinking for 3 hours straight.

It got worse from there. It wasn't maliciousness, as far as I could tell, but you had to clarify all of your actions, to the point where the game stopped being "Fun" and "Entertaining," and instead turned into a fucked up text adventure. "I move my full distance west and set up position to flank the orc bandit!" DM: "Well you run full tilt into the wall, take 4 damage." That sort of shit.

I don't even think I finished that session. I may have gone out for a week long smoke break, only to return for the regular game.

>>15511774
Another wonderful tale, this time with a different group and DM. Though I will fully admit this one might just be me not really liking the game.

So I head over to a friend of mine's house about 6-7 years ago, only to get ambushed by a D&D game his mom is throwing. The_Friend's mom is a big-time nerd, has a shelf full of old D&D books and notebooks, and apparently once played with Gygax, according to her. So I think this is going to be fun, if possibly a high-deathinition game if you catch my drift.

So we roll up some characters, and I think I rolled a paladin for grins. The game starts... and she goes into a ten minute speech. Okay, fair enough, but I kind of ignored the story after it started to sound like someone trying to rip off Lord of the Rings.

So the party wakes up in the middle of the woods, each member alone and naked. Okay, well that sucks, but we're first level characters so who cares. Wish she would have told me that before I spent the usual twenty plus minute angst over the equipment and money and all that jazz, but whatever.

>>15511804
So it eventually gets round to me, and I've noticed something with the way the DM runs things. There is no logic. There is no coherency.

Player A, The_Friend, is a rogue, and goes and climbs a tree to survey the area. He finds a bird's nest filled with golden eggs (not golden like brown, or solid gold. We're talking jeweled eggs encrusted with gold and shit.) So The_Friend steals one and climbs back down, only for the egg to hatch in his hand, and out pops a pixie, who immediately begins chasing him around the forest, calling him a thief.

Player B, The_Bitch, is a munchkining fuck, and somehow managed to talk himself into being half-dragon. I call him The_Bitch because when things don't go his way, take three guesses what he's going to do. Anyway, he decides to try and burn a tree down using his lightning breath... only to get struck by lightning himself, barely surviving with only 2 HP. So he runs for it, and finds out that either he's in a Hanna Barbara cartoon or the forest loops around, as he runs past the tree like three times.

>>15511804
>his mom says you are all naked in the woods.
I lol'd

>>15511835
>>15511804
>>15511774
>>15511768

Wow, dude, that's some scarring. But doesn't it feel better to share? (Oh, ballox, that sounds queer.)

I had a DM that I didn't like once.
He took a long time to roll the actions of the monsters he sent against us.

>>15511835
Player C, Shady, is another rogue. Well, technically he is a fighter, but the three games I have played with him he will always be the rogue. Anyway, he decides to search the area, only to find a branch large enough to be used as a tool of some sort. So Shady decides to start digging, only to discover that despite the forest floor being the usual dirt and grass and shit, he can't dig it up. So he builds a fire, somehow, and manages to annoy the "tree" (really a treant) enough that he is promptly catapulted across the forest for a good solid 3d6 damage.

Finally, it gets to me. Like I said earlier, I got to watch all this shit, and suddenly I am not sure if I want to play anymore, if only because nothing makes sense. So I explore and come across an abandoned baby. Like literally, fucker is on a rock crying and screaming. So being Captain Paladin I pick him up and try to find my way out of the forest.

Only the place is just as chaotic as before. I try to navigate out using Survival. "Nope." "Uh, not even a roll." The_Friend turns to me at this point and says "We never roll for anything."

So after another cigarette (and calming down about the fact that my sheet may as well be rolling paper), I go back inside to try and deal with this situation.

>>15511861
>"We never roll for anything."
PLAYED WITH GYGAX MY ASS.

Or maybe she did and the experience scarred her? that's weird

>>15511861
We rotate around again (as my action was cut short due to me having to smoke) and it's on The_Bitch's turn. While this is going on, The_Friend fills me in. Apparently he fell down a well... and ended up near where Shady was... in the forest... after falling down a well.

The_Bitch continues to dick around, as this isn't something he can hit, fireball, or otherwise game the system at, and eventually tires himself out. Now it is Shady and The_Friend's turn, and they attempt to find a path out themselves, only this time by leaving a trail (complete with Shady attempting to steal the egg-shell that The_Friend was still holding, culminating in a fistfight that The_Friend won given he wasn't nursing damage). This quickly went nowhere, with the two of them not finding anything.

At this point, I was clearly annoyed with the game, but I felt it would be rude to leave and a sort of morbid curiosity held me there. So I played my turn, deciding to climb the tallest tree I could in order to see if this forest had an edge. Apparently that was either a no-no or she hadn't thought of that, because despite the fact that I claimed to be careful (and made damn sure to leave the baby in a safe place) she said I couldn't do it. I even asked her what the tree looked like beforehand, and she said plenty of branches. Hell, I even had Climb for some god-awful reason. But no, Kafka_DM deigned that I would have to figure out this mystery the traditional way.

>>15511892
So I decided to start approaching this without logic, without method. Brute-force the mystery. I pick up the baby, close my eyes, and walk slowly and carefully with one hand out, feeling around.

Apparently I wasn't walking carefully enough, because she said I ran into the tree. Great, now the baby is screaming and I am unconscious.

Another rotation, with nothing much accomplished, unless you count Shady finally getting team-killed over the egg-shell. It's back to me, and apparently I either moved or the alien geometries of the forest shifted around me, as I was now near the edge of a cliff, filled with caves (and trees growing from the side). I figured it had something to do with going unconscious, but eh. However, I wasn't about to tempt fate and try to climb down with Mrs. "I don't roll" there. So instead, given a lack of options. I attempted to interact with the baby, half expecting it to talk, or turn out to be a fucked up genie or something.

The baby apparently was fine, other than the screaming and crying. Didn't react to tickling, playing, funny faces, patting, or screaming at it for a solid minute for it to shut the fuck up. Since there was nothing nearby, not even a stream, I couldn't feed it. And since she wouldn't switch over to Friend or Bitch just yet, and since I wasn't about to climb down a cliff-face, I did the only thing I really could do.

"I throw the baby down the cliff."

>>15511870

The only things Gygax made his players roll for was their stats, their attacks, and their damage. OD&D doesn't have a skill system.

I am my own bad GM.

How can this be?
Well, it's simple. I don't want to us a DMPC.I also prefer a mix betweeen railroading slightly and mostly letting the guys go on about their devices (True story, not a Final Fantasy Game neither a GTA-esque sandboxxy game).
I also want to not help my girlfriend as soon as possible.

My group?
>Mauro, why won't you play?
>Heheheh, I'm the GM, I play all of the wor-
>No fun! Well, play and show us how to do it.
Then they name the shy but friendly support character (This is WoD so I took dots in Hacking and stuff to get resources for them so that they could advance on their own)
>Hey, your GF is having problem
>Yeah, she's gotta learn
>Maybe you can give her a boost!
>How?
>Extra EXP. Or give her a safeguard or something!
later on
>OH GOD WHAT DO WE DO?
>Huh... You'll have to think about it... You have a whole week to figure what to do next, if you can't then I'll help the story progress.
>If you'll do that, why can't we do it now? We could play a few more hours! Like 4 or 5!


Holy shit. They're a group of dedicated young but they're too infected with the videogame notion of RPGs.

>>15511951
Ups.
Then they name the shy but friendly support character their leader. HE'S GOT NO SOCIAL SKILLS, DAMNET!

>>15511928
Kafka_DM gives me this horrible, angry expression. "Why would you do that, etc. etc." I have no answers for her, but she continues on. "You were supposed to feed the baby," she said (I at this point am making faces and pulling out another cigarette, because what the fuck am I supposed to feed it with? Body hair? Spit?), then said "I ruined the campaign." "Really? How did I do that?"

"You had to feed the baby the berries along the stream, so it would turn into a caterpillar and then when it cocooned, it would drop the key," she said (or something along those sorts of crazy lines), but by this point I was already a bit too fed up with all this and left.

The_Friend filled me in later. Apparently we had all missed what, according to his mom, were supposed to be clear clues on what to do. Let alone the fact that Bitch didn't see shit, Shady didn't find anything to use his Wood on, and The_Friend got chased around by a fucking pixie for nest-robbing.

I still have a bet going with another friend of mine that she's on LSD for this sort of shit to happen.

>>15511960
Well, the golden egg is straight from Zork. She was obviously DMing a mashed-up text adventure.

So, yeah, LSD.

>>15511960

What the everliving fuck.

>>15511705

>>the players find themselves in a room with a few planks, nails, a hammer and a chasm they have to overcome

Gee gang, I hope we can solve this mystery

>>15511960

>>"You had to feed the baby the berries along the stream, so it would turn into a caterpillar and then when it cocooned, it would drop the key,"

>>15511960

>>"You were supposed to feed the baby,"

>>"You had to feed the baby the berries along the stream, so it would turn into a caterpillar and then when it cocooned, it would drop the key,"

>>"You had to feed the baby the berries along the stream, so it would turn into a caterpillar and then when it cocooned, it would drop the key,"

...

>>15512081
>>15512081
I'll overcum scoobies chasm anytime.

>>15512081
I read that in Fred's voice.

>>"You had to feed the baby the berries along the stream, so it would turn into a caterpillar and then when it cocooned, it would drop the key,"

DM for a local DnD group.

>Says he runs everything out of the rule books.
Thats cool I am only just starting out probs will help to have a go to guide.
>I let a little bit of homebrew in though just to be fair to more experienced players who want their own stuff.
Ooook well if they are experienced I assume they will know how to make their shit cool and not broken (LAST WORDS ANYONE?) So what is there already in game?
>Theres a praying mantis monk who has 4 arms and gets an extra attack round because of these, a eladrin who is able to stun people with magic but uses her CHA insteed of int because it uses her beauty, also in exchange for not getting to wear armor she only gets hit 50% of the time due to people being stuned by her beauty when they fight her, and theres a elf ranger who said he got his build off the optimization forums from wizards, and theres a cyborg demon.
....Wat?
>Oh you must be confused, its not like a robot demon its like a demon with robotic parts that she has because she got hurt in battle with an angel who gave her a soul so she is low CG aligment. Entire party has to be good or neutral I won't let anyone be evil people do stupid things when they are evil.
......I'll get back to you.....

Never actually played with him after that chat.

Whats /tg/ think?

>>15512240
You have a high tolerance my friend. I got annoyed at "gets to attack twice because he has 4 arms." Said "the fuck your letting that in?" at the naked eladrin and actally moved onto "you trolling me?" at cyborg demon.

>>15512222

>cyborg demon.

>>15511854
>ballox

>>15511960

...I know this is gonna sound weird, but... did this Kafka DM live in Idaho, or perhaps used to live in Idaho?

Because your gams sounds a LOT like a game I played a few years back, except mine was maybe a 9 on the WTF scale and yours was clearly an 11. DM was a huger stoner and her daughter played with us (she was about my age)

>3.5 game
>DM's girlfriend obviously the center of attention
>She plays an asian half-kitsune male who is gay and hits on all of our male PCs
>story is set in a feudal japan-esque setting
>she starts with a +3 katana on top of absurd homebrew racials for the kitsune race (with absolutely no level adjustment)
>story is incomprehensible about hunting some faggot who is evil for no real reason and collecting shards of some gem of immense power that shattered
>angsty NPCs everywhere
>DM's girlfriend's PC always talking about suicide and/or threatening to kill himself
>my face the entire time

I'm glad the group broke apart before the third session due to the inept DM

>>15511960
>>15512167
>>15512174
>>15512188
>>15512220

THE

KEY

TO

WHAT

?

You were naked in the woods! What was a key going to do? Were you going to eat it? Wear it?

>>15512222
>people do stupid things when they are evil.
>everything before that line

>>15512420

>Cleric rolls to see is he can see them.
GM: Nope.avi.
>The warlock sets the other side afire.
>I try again.
>I get dispelled again.
>I think for a minute, and cast a horizontal wall of force for us to walk across.
GM: It gets dispelled.
>No, I say, it can't. That's why I cast it.
GM: Still happens, though.
>Me: Whut.
(sigh)
>Me: is there another way across.
GM: Yes.
(Shows us a long, long path through Ambush Centre, Tennessee)
>Me: Screw this shit.
>We all hide, I cast Greater Invisibility, Mass (from Scroll), and use some Floating Disks to try to get across.
>As we pop up from behind the buildings, guess what?
GM: Dispel Magic.
>Turn to the GM: How the fuck are we meant to get across?
He shows us the path.
>Ask him if he is going to continue to Dispel me.
He says yes.
>Ask to change to the Leaping Barbarian.

>>15512428


So, after getting through the terrible, terrible damage along THAT BLOODY PATH, we get to the palace. We go to the throne room, because, you know, where else will the BBEG be?

In the throne room is a huge demon. Fun. We come in, he talks to us, all the plot-dumping you normally get (I will rule the world! The planes shall tremble at my passing! etc, etc)

We fight, and the cleric and rogue get pretty much floored in the first round.

>My turn.
>I go "fuck this fucking fuck"
>Leaping Combo TO THE MAX!
>Roll jump, exceed by ~25
GM: You beat it by too much. You hit your head on the ceiling, and fall to the floor unconscious.
>Me: Whut. (again! Double Whut Combo!)

Long story short: Warlock then gets -9'd, but then the DMPC Wizard comes in and saves the day! Yay! He also then Rez's everybody. (4x Whutkind combo! High score.)

Needless to say, I didn't come back for a second session.

Thing is, the GM isn't really that bad as a PC, even if he does sound like a bad amateur dramatic. He just really liked his story, to the exception of everything else, including the players. Anyway, from what I heard, the campaign turned into the wonderful adventures of DMPC Wizard and his sidekick, PC lad.

>>15510995
Had two bad GMs that stick out in memory.

One made his game all about his NPCs. The PCs were just along for the ride, and you better hope you could tie your character's motivations to them. None of them could ever die. Even the ones who were trying to kill us. It didn't help that he has a thing for young girls and characters stolen from the anime of the week.

The other managed to make a game of Dark Heresy tedious. He was good on the old horror, but the game began to trudge along and became quite linear. He also presented us with a warp-spawned abomination and expected us to listen to it. Instead of, you know, purging it like the good little acolytes that we were.

>>15512432
> He just really liked his story, to the exception of everything else, including the players.

People like this should never, ever run games. Especially those who don't realise that the PCs are the main characters of the story.

>>15512467
The PCs don't have to be the main characters, but they should have a say as to what happens. In my current campaign the PCs are just tools used by much more powerful individuals, but still, their actions have consequences and follow a logical chain of events.

>DM throws us in a tavern, offers no obvious plot hooks, party wastes 1.5 hours in the tavern and another half hour "travelling back home"
>Second session has us escorting a gold shipment to the bank. We are attacked by hawks. This encounter takes 2 hours.
>Third session, we arrive at an inn attacked by cultists. Instead of having us fight the cultists, he introduces a DM PC, and has us roll spot. All of us fail and we wake up in a cell with no armor/weapons. We are then stuck for nearly 2 hours on a puzzle. At this point the DM gets bored and does rocks fall, everyone dies.

>Guy says he wants to DM, says he has experience
>DM says he wants to do a campaign where everything short of pun pun goes
>DM takes 1.5 hours to narrate less than a dozen lines between 2 NPCs, everyone else is bored out of their mind and wishing he would hurry up
>Decides that the first party quest will be investigating masked guys who have done nothing illegal and just looks suspicious
>Every attempt to investigate them fails, DM keeps going "oh man you guys are so going to die" when we discuss plans
>Apparently they are a high level group of spellcasters, and we are like level 4
>Ask DM whether this has a plot or he is just trolling us
>He insists the plot is awesome and that it will start soon, and blames us for not doing gather information rolls when we were roleplaying it out
>Game never goes anywherere

>"You had to feed the baby the berries along the stream, so it would turn into a caterpillar and then when it cocooned, it would drop the key,"

>You had to feed the baby the berries along the stream, so it would turn into a caterpillar and then when it cocooned, it would drop the key

You were playing with Roberta Williams?

>>15512721
>The PCs don't have to be the main characters,
WHAT
THE
FUCK?!!!!!!

>In my current campaign the PCs are just tools used by much more powerful individuals
NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THEM!

>>15512786

>DM keeps going "oh man you guys are so going to die" when we discuss plans

>>15512721
>The PCs don't have to be the main characters
>In my current campaign the PCs are just tools used by much more powerful individuals

Fuck you, mate. Fuck you. Why anyone would choose to play your games is beyond me. You are everything shitty about /tg/, you are only a bare step away from the dogshit DMs the people in this thread are talking about.


(fuck you)

>>15512721
>>15514155
Not that guy, but if everyone around the table is cool with it what on earth is your problem?

We have a DM that consistently puts us into scenarios where... We have to roll to move.
As in, we're in a village being chased by zombies, and everyone has to roll above 3 (on a d6) for us to move one square on a board he's drawn.

It doesn't seem so bad, but the thing that annoys me is that he NEVER takes into any account our racials or class features or any of our abilities. I play as a monk who literally has the ability to run on water, ignore difficult terrain and, um, FLY. But for some reason I have to roll 3 or above to somehow gain the energy to decide to maybe avoid the oncoming swarm of gnashing death right behind us.

>>15514164
Because i play games to be the hero (or anti-hero) not to be some faggots pawn.

>>15514197
Then you're not cool with it. But his players are, so what's the big deal? You're not one of them and you wouldn't be.

>>15514164
I suspect that it was a poor choice of wording on the original point about "not having to be main characters". Being a main character doesn't mean they're the heros, the villians, or the most powerful characters around. It means that they are the protangonists of the story - the focus, the spotlight. Even if they are being manipulated, used, bullied into doing tasks from those higher up (likely antagonists), they should still maintain the main character role. Games where the entire party plays side-kick to an NPC (which would be required for none of the player characters to be 'main characters' are nortiously bad pitfalls - where the cliche of the DMPC comes from.

>>15514164
> if everyone around the table is cool with it

Honestly that's a pretty big "if". He didn't specify, I guess, but I seriously doubt that's what the players want. Maybe they all truly do, but I think it's more likely they just put up with it through not having any other options/not knowing better. You might say "oh well, he'd know what his players like better than you, anon" but look at all these shitty DMs. What do they have in common? An inexplicable lack of self-awareness. They just don't get how shit they're being. I find it really hard to believe players would be totally cool playing Redshirt #3 to the DM's Kirk and Spock.

But, seriously, the golden rule of all roleplaying games is for the players to be able to direct their own actions. That's pretty much their whole purpose, actually. If you aren't prepared to give that to your players, you might as well all play a videogame or something. Think about all the DM cardinal sins we talk about on this board:

1. Railroading.
2. DMPCs who overshadow the actual PCs.
3. Forcing bullshit furry/rape/grimdark/whatever agendas on unsuspecting players.
4. Fucking with player's characters, ie. arbitrarily nerfing/taking away abilities etc. etc.

These are generally considered the worst things a DM can do in a game. What's the common trait? They all take away the players' ability to have control over their game, and thus control over their fun. You can't hand down fun from on high, people need to make their own fun. That's the point of roleplaying games.

A good DM's grip on what the players do should be like a spiderweb: technically fragile - but subtle, thorough and nearly invisible.

>>15514184
>We have a DM that consistently puts us into scenarios where... We have to roll to move.

Oh god, I refuse to believe this is real...

>>15514258
You magnificent bastard.

The PCs should be the main characters in their story, but not necessarily the main characters in the world/galaxy/plane that the story is set in.

ok so this is what I've always believed to be the right attitude when DMing, tell me /tg/ am I wrong? am I that DM?

>>15514312

Why thank you, sir!

>>15514329

No, no, you've got it exactly right. What we're talking about are shit GMs that essentially reduce the PCs to spectators watching the DM's super-jawesome mary sue NPC do all the cool shit

>>15514329
>the main characters in the world/galaxy/plane that the story is set in.
There should be no main characters in the world that the story is set in. Who's are the main characters of Earth?

Main characters are only relevant to a story being told. If you're playing a table top game, the story focuses on the players, so they are the main characters. I don't care if your Captain Kirk knock off is more important to the setting, he's not a main character unless he contributes just as much to the story and plot as the PCs, and if that's the case, you have a shitty DMPC.

>>15514399
That's why he said they shouldn't be the main characters of the world.

Did... you actually read that post?

>>15514399
I wasn't saying that there should be world MCs just that PCs need to be slightly restricted in the amount of plot they get,

you know so they don't suddenly decide that they can conquer the world with a group of 5 adventurers.

I might be a GM soon, and was wondering if anyone had any tips on not committing the 4 sins of a GM.

Had a DM that couldn't wipe properly, could see skidmarks on his cargo shorts. He smelt of cigarettes, ass, and pit sweat.

We put up with him because he owned all the manuals.

>>15514258

While I agree with most of this, I don't like the idea of a world that exists purely for the player's the brutally have their way with. There has to be some level of structure, and just because the PCs have an employer or someone pulling the strings from above doesn't mean you are taking away control from them, because they still are choosing to follow that, and it adds a level of structure to the world and can eventually make for a nice plot point should the PCs become strong enough/smart enough to break away from said controlling forces.

That kind of stuff can be done well. Though, yeah, it can also be done absolutely awfully.

Worst DM I've ever had is from this round robin game, where we're each supposed to have a turn at running a session to help us improve and to test things we'd like to try. We'll each technically DMPC on each of our turns since we each want to play. Since it was more or less his idea, he gets first round.

Game day comes around and we arrive to see the DM still in a mad dash to finish writing up his material. It would be a pretty forgivable thing (I've stayed up nights to finish) if the session would have been anywhere near decent.

Party wakes up from their beds to an empty room with no windows. No explanation as to how or why we got there, we're just there. We are cut short of attempting to roleplay this out by the DMPC running off ahead and tackling the dungeon alone. All of us being nice, we decide to follow.

We walk ten feet before making a 90 degree turn into a giant wall that we must climb, and no one else but the DMPC's monk has decided to put ranks into climb. After receiving help using the barbarian's rope to get over the wall, we immediately come across a large pool of water filled with sharks and sahuagins. The DMPC again has no trouble with traversing the water as he is the only one that has bothered to invest in swim seeing as how half the party wears medium armour or heavier. Those of us in armour ponder how to get across safely until we are forcibly 'ported across the water and the door shuts behind us.

So the worst GM I ever had was the infamous Researcher Sam attempting to run an AdEva game. Surprisingly, he made it non-ero, which you'd think was a good thing. ESPECIALLY considering his creepy as fuck fetishes. Stupefyingly, it was aggressively non-ero. As in, when one player wanted their character to have some mildly implied bisexual tendencies, Sam threw a shitfit, stopped the game, and screamed at the players for 4 hours.

the SECOND worst game I was ever in was a Dark Heresy game run by a GM who's actually a decent person, but stupid as stupid can be. it took him literally two months of me and another person waiting and watching to finally get our characters introduced and when we finally (more or less) get to do anything, my character - I shit you not- died from 4 guys I ted never spotblasting her with machine guns at close range. He actually backed up and just made the encounter happen, which honestly sucked worse because in that entire campaign, I got to do nothing. I participated in no combat, none of my character's social skills were relevant (or the arbite took care of it), and one other player seemed to keep trying to keep me down. This went on for months, and I somehow couldn't bring myself to quit because, as I said, the GM was a really nice person, just a dope. I swear to fucking god though, that campaign must have been some book he found in a derelict nazi mountain lab researching on how to induce human insanity.

>>15515321

Party tries to make sense of this world until the DM decides we've talked enough and has the wall push us forward to the next area. All of this actually consists of is actually a winding corridor filled with "monster spawners" spewing out piss poor CR mobs. We spend the next while making our way out of the hallway that only really took so long because there were so many creatures and the space too narrow to maneuver, except for the monk, who can just tumble through.

Before we even get to the next room, he scraps it and bumps us forward again. Why? With the bitching we'd done about the biased challenges before he realises that this one is also skewed in his favour. A pit room that we have to jump or swing across.

We finally reach the end of the dungeon only to be stopped by a single, dastardly CR 3 ooze. This is what stands between a level 5 party and the finish line. It got demolished in about one or two hits.

It was the shortest dungeon I had ever gone through that took so much time to finish. No attempt at even trying to build a story. Filled with challenges that only the DMPC could finish, but that didn't even matter because the DM's own impatience forcibly bypassed us through them regardless. Littered with monsters so weak that the only damaged I had taken was by my own hand after getting a crit fail.

>>15515324

whoooah some of my sentence structure got fucked there, not even sure what happened, must have accidentally clicked and not known it. I shouldn't type stuff while drunk.

>>15515324
>my character - I shit you not- died from 4 guys I ted never spotblasting her with machine guns at close range. He actually backed up and just made the encounter happen

ok let me back the fuck up and fix that. my character got shot up by 4 guys she wasn't even given the opportunity to avoid, or so much as spot before entering close range. so I was blasted out of nowhere. then the GM went back and said it didn't happen.

I am the worst DM that I've ever suffered.

>>15515457

This. I half ass everything, which ends up with things going really slowly, then I hate myself when it doesn't go as well as I want it to. Admittedly, my players still claim to love it, but I can never stop thinking it's shit and I could do a much better game if I actually planned ahead for anything beyond "eh, I got a general idea of what to do."

>>15511243
> once over 4k xp from a single session
Only that? Right now I'm in the most montyhaulest campaignest, and god do I hate it. We're only two players, granted, but I think last time we leveled up from 9 to 11 in a single session.

>Player: Hey now that I have Power Attack, I'd like to have a +2 flaming greatsword. Would any of the city merchants hav-
>DM: Sure, they have it, why not.
>Player: Ok what would it cost...
>DM: Just look it up in item generation and substract from your gold

>Player: I'd like to get a +3 protection ring instead of the +2 I have. Can I upgrade it somewhere in the ci-
>DM: Just pay the difference and that's cool.
>Player: Great. How long was it, one day per 1000 gold while they work on it right?
>DM: Ugh no, fuck that, you just give it over with the difference and in exchange they give you the better one.

>>15512335
Nah man, Texas. Though I think she might have lived in Idaho at one point.

>>15512352
Never played with her running again, so I didn't find out. According to The_Friend, her games were usually operating on dream-logic, so basically anyone who played would have to brute-force the puzzle anyway and the games just turned into more insanity.

>>15512721
If I wanted to play Vampire I'd play Vampire, man. Seriously, that's the only game I can stand being a pawn in, and that's because I can fucking eat the souls of the guys doing the Jyhad horseshit if/when I get tired of it.

>>15516038
Speaking of Vampire, I've got another one.

So one of our long-time players in a VTM game decides to run a chronicle at the end of the current one we were in. Figure it'll be cool, because Bro_DM is usually a pretty good roleplayer and thinks shit out. Figure at worst it'll just be the usual Vampire elders horseshit, and we can deal.

No. No no no no no.

Every vampire we run into comes in about three flavors: Anne Rice weepy vampires, Twilight-style Sparkly Assholes, and Powerful Elders what tell us to do things. Seriously, we're talking 5th Gen Ventrues abusing Dominate and Presence to get us to give them our lunch-money and then go do something stupid.

I am... since I'm the only DM I have played under. My group's too small for me not to field a character.

>>15516097
So the party consists of, and I am not making this up, all Malkavians. We had all decided to go Malkavians on our own initiative. This was helpful, because we decided to torpedo the game after yet another round of "DOMINATE! GO PLAY TAG WITH THE SABBAT" horseshit.

So we had a hacker, a luchadore wrestler, a shady detective, and me, who was channeling MGS3 during character creation and made Naked Snake. So we decided we didn't want to deal with this shit anymore, including the angsty little shits and the special little shits.

So we decide to blow it all up.

>>15516133
In this group, due to the previous Storyteller, we have learned to scheme carefully. Namely, we were texting each other under the table while going along with all of this. So when we had to go beat the hell out of the Sabbat, me and the hacker broke into a military base to steal explosives. It was actually kind of fun the way he ran it, so we were all starting to have second thoughts...

...until he decided to have the city's Sheriff (read: Vampire working to kick ass for the vampire running the town) tag along with us. Also known as: DMNPC. He was leading us around by the nose, getting us into fights we would have stealthed past (as we were initially going to blow the entire building up), and generally cocking up all of our plans.

So we fucking killed him, drained him, and Hacker-Boy was now 7th Gen. Groovy.

We wire the building to explode with about three pounds of explosives, then blam, no more Sabbat in town.

No, the town had something much worse to deal with now.

>>15516202
So the party splits up at this point, me and the detective heading for the Prince (Head Vampire asshole) while the Luchadore and the Hacker go to Elysium (read: Vampire Bar where everyone must be peaceful). We have split the explosives evenly, and have enough for about four buildings per party.

The Elysium crew find that they are still partying there. Unfortunately, the sheriff's goons are outside, waiting for the Sheriff. So the Luchadore decides to run distraction... by running into the bar and getting into a brawl with every vampire in town. The Hacker, on the other hand, is busily wiring the building to explode, while keeping in communication with the Luchadore.

Meanwhile, me and the Detective enter the skyscraper the Prince lives in... armed to the teeth. Think the Lobby scene from the Matrix, only one guy looks like Inspector Tequila and the other one is carrying a cardboard box to hide in. Luckily, all of the guards who we have to fight now are mortals, so they kind of die because Vamps are kinda bulletproof.

>>15516264
The Luchadore is busily throwing the vampires around like unruly children, when all of a sudden he has to deal with something terrible: the Sheriff's brute squad showed up. Kitted up for Vampire Hunting, these guys were straight up assholes. That's when Luchadore man busted out his trump card: Level 5 Dementation. He mindfucked the goon squad, then he and the Hacker vamoosed before blowing up the building.

Me and the Detective finish off the punk-ass guards, then immediately wire the first floor with the explosives, and some more to boot. However, we have a problem. Well, I have a problem. I wanted to go kill the Prince myself. Thanks Insanity!

So we head upstairs, fighting past more goons as well as the occasional vampire, then reach the top floor. Unfortunately, the Detective got staked and tossed out a window, so it's just me versus the Prince. Great.

>>15516264
>Think the Lobby scene from the Matrix, only one guy looks like Inspector Tequila and the other one is carrying a cardboard box to hide in.

Best Vampire game ever.

>>15516330
The penthouse/top floor/whatever is crawling with mooks. Luckily, I have a backup plan. "THE BOX!" I say, then immediately make stealth rolls. When the first guard questions the moving box, I Dementate him into thinking this is the usual thing. This continues several times until finally I am in the room with the Prince.

He starts going into his motive rant, the usual routine, but I am already planning. Got goggles covering my eyes and earplugs in, so he can't dominate or presence me. I then throw my hat into the ring. Dementation 2: The Haunting. Makes sounds and shit occur.

I play "Snake Eater."

So doing the best I can, considering I have no camoflauge and no way to hide (no Obsfucate ie. magical vampire hiding), I just keep rushing him to stab him, repeatedly, and attempt to throw him out of the window with CQC. This fails, mainly because Ventrue vampires are harder than fuck to kill and he invested in Potence (super strength) to boot, so really I am the one getting tossed around.

Eventually, I get my ass handed to me, and the Prince asks if I have any last words. I hit the detonator I had. The first floor disappears... as does my body, because I'm carrying the rest of the explosives. The Prince dies screaming, I die laughing, and we all turn to the ST expecting rage and anger.

>>15516384
Bro_DM literally has the biggest troll-face on ever.

We all groan, expecting him to salvage this somehow, when he laughs. "You guys really think I would run a game like this without reason? I wanted to watch you all burn this shit to the ground."

Players: "What"

Bro_DM: "Yeah. Figured you all could use a fun, blowing shit up game after all that story shit Previous_DM put you through."

Players: "..."

He was terrible... on purpose, to let us rage out and destroy shit.

>Be a monk with bow of poverty.
DM:You just received a message from your homeland (how did they know where I was, it's a mystery), your father and your older brother died in a war.
>Crap.
And since you are the next in the family line you just inherited all the family properties. So since you broke the poverty bow say bye to everything it gave to you.
>...

And he still doesn't know why did I left the game.

>>15516438
>bow of poverty
Oh man I love those; the composite ones allow you to add a strength bonus from +0 to -4 to damage

>>15515559
You. You're me. I run a Shadowrun campaign in that exact fashion, and get the same response from the PCs. I'm convinced that they're lying to spare my feelings, but I can't find any hint of that in their behaviour. Drives me mad.

>>15516438
What a dickface

>>15516438
>>15516459

It was the Vow of poverty, I'm a Spanishfag and my english derped a little.

>>15516438
Admittedly, being a monk with vow of poverty is pretty dickish too.

>>15516493
Dickish how?

>>15516504

Yeah, this.

Monk with VOP= sucks even harder than before. You need your shiny items.

>>15516438
here


>>15516521
I'm a roleplayer, not a rollplayer so I don't mind if my characters aren't optimized or if someone else can consider the "sub-par", it's about having fun not doing the best damage (and before losing my abilities I had a lot of fun with it.

>>15516590

I was mainly asking how playing a VOP monk is "Dickish" as that one guy claimed.

>>15516590
>it's about having fun not doing the best damage
Amen.

>>15516624
I'm also curious.

>>15516660
Same here. Beginning to suspect troll.

>>15516590
>I'm a roleplayer, not a rollplayer
You realize that only douchebags say things like this, right?

>>15516700
you realize that this is 4chan, and that everyone has acted like a douchebag at some point, right?

>>15516700
Confirmed for troll. Move along, lads, nothing to see here...

worst GM I ever played with?...
well... ok, the WORST one was in an online game, that was actually quite of fun with lots of nonsense (we didnt take the gaming there too seriously, especially after we figured that the main part of the party was halflings, one of which rode a raptor, which we later declared raptor jesus). He seemed like a cool guy, but got in way over his head, aka tried to make funny/silly ingame situations which took hours and at the end you felt like you couldnt even laugh at the best joke you ever heard in your life. Also, his planning ahead was pretty bad, his first adventure went well, the second was railroading beyond belief. literally: You need a dragonshard. There is this guy that has a dragonshard. You need a boat, this guy has a boat. Ok, you have the boat, you set sail. ok, after five days, there are riffs, the ship has a hole and you are on that island, with ruinds in the middle of it. No you cant repair the ship with magic, that would ruin my prepared plot

and then he dissapeared

that DM is actually a friend of mine, and he is only here because sometimes he messes up his ideas. Like, badly.
Usually he is great with the description, the story is not a rail, rather a sandbox where we can play around in with some interesting sandcastles, and such.
But sometimes, he gave me the worst experiences in RPG.
Like the one time he GMed shadowrun. For a *run* that was literally gay porn. No, we didnt need to roll that adventure, because it actually only involved us going into a bar that was filled with gay pedophiles and watch interactive gay porn. And he ISNT even gay.
Another time, he killed our DH round he GMed. Not TPK, but rather we didnt want to play anymore after he RIPPED OFF inception with warp effects, and he ACTUALLY ADMITED THAT HE RIPPED OFF INCEPTION.
Basically, think of a normal nonradical DH acolyte group, that lost its sense if the world around it is actually the real world or just another illusion, because we already thought we got out of it once.
And you want to know what we have to do to get out? Kill ourselves. Yeah, so basically we know if thats the real world if we stay dead, and just killing the others dont work because in the second layer one guy that woke up was still there. We havent played since that evening and we are unsure we even want to continue playing, because the reasonable next step is kill us all and hope we wake up AGAIN.

>>15511835
>the egg hatches, and out pops a pixie that follows him around and calls him a thief

actually, that part is HILARIOUS, I cant stop laughing

Oh man.

There was this game of Warhammer a few years back. Two I think... something around that.

Room mate was involved in some sort of Warhammer game and they ended up without a place to play. So he asks if it's fine to play in our room. I say sure and he in turn asked if I want to play too. I agreed despite my general dislike for the system and setting. I was simply bored. Huge mistake. HUGE.

The GM seemed legit at first. But then these little things started piling up... then worse things. In short:

1) Railroading.
2) Lack of ability to make a compelling story (this could excuse number 1).
3) Playing the game against the players instead of with them.
4) Reusing the same plot between multiple games (no, I don't mean having an overarching meta-story, it's more like that guy who plays the same character over and over, only on the GM side).
5) Shitty, boring combat.

Stupidest thing he ever did?
To paraphrase the situation: since you hate the elves they have crafted a spell and now you all love them!

>>15516757
So true... just visit /vp/ once... It's a douchebag factory!

No discussion of terrible GMs is complete without this:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/11633488/#11634329

My 4th Edition game was very high powered, mainly because the Merchant always had what you needed, and money was common enough to get 90% of what you need.

Anyway, I ran the simulations for the game that session, and determined my players could handle 100 mooks and a single boss.

Game goes on, the players perform to my expectations. I go to total experience, when I realize that encounter gave them enough XP to level twice, from 16 to 18. Oh well. Gave them the XP, everyone leveled twice, we all had fun, went home, resolved to check XP next time.

I go and chill with the homies. Two guys heard the players leveled twice and called me a shit DM for doing that. They bitched at me for running an overpowered game, for coddling the players (4 out of 6 players ended up unconsious), and for "not respecting the will of Gary Gygax."

One even said it was against the rules. The players can't level up twice in one session. I told him this rule was done away with in 4th Edition. He raged.

>mon visage

>>15517111
>Anyway, I ran the simulations for the game that session, and determined my players could handle 100 mooks and a single boss.
So you made Dragon Age 2.

>>15517111
sorry bro but they were right.

you aren't allowed to run the game the way you want, if by the end of the session at least one player isn't rolling up another character then you're doing it wrong.

>>15517128

This was two years ago, mind you. And it was my first time running a game.

Incidentally, I never ran an encounter that big again. It was a siege encounter.

>>15517155
>Not an encounter where the PCs walk into a monastery and 100 evil ninjas simultaneously turn around to face them
Son, I am disappoint.

Follow-up:
>>15517111
>(4 out of 6 players ended up unconsious)
So you made a JRPG.

>>15517111
I approve

>>15517167

You know, I've never played Dragon Age 1 or 2. Not sure if I should, considering all the negatives that happened.

Besides, I think the communist zombies worked better than ninjas.

>>15517167
100 ninjas could probably be taken on by an equal number of commoners. Conservation of Ninjutsu and all that.

>>15517276
Ah, therein lies a rub. Only one of them uses Ninjutsu. The others are simply trained in mundane but highly practical and effective martial arts.