>mf

rolled 59 = 59

FIRE THE MULTILASERS
DESTROY THE ELDAR

rolled 83 = 83

>>15601954

"FIRE!"

Whatever happened to MINDBULLETS out the side of the pod?

rolled 28 = 28

Make Sindri arm fire more MIND BULLETS

rolled 98 = 98

>>15601954
Look after Eldar's leader. Can love bloom on battlefield?

rolled 30 = 30

Grab onto an eldar fighter and hijack it.

abaddon's first name is Easy Kyle?

rolled 81 = 81

>>15601987

hoboyherewego.png

rolled 15 = 15

TACTICAL SIMULTANEOUS OFFENSIVE AND DEFENSIVE MULTILASER STRIKES

rolled 59 = 59

OST
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-oVhTOymeA

rolled 35 = 35

Fire more drop pods
Crush the eldar planes with them

rolled 79 = 79

When we find the future Emperor, how about we corrupt him insted of killing him?

>mfw when /tg/ can make Abbadon infinitely more competent.

rolled 34 = 34

Command the Jokaero to shoot at the Eldar fags

rolled 87 = 87

>>15602017

Nonsense! We'll have the Jokaero turn him into a banana with their sage like wisdom.

rolled 59 = 59

>>15602017

But that would mean that the Galaxy would just burn, not cease to exist.

>>15601987
You try to spot the leader of the Eldar attack force but you cannot tell the fighters apart from one another.

Several more drop pods are shot with energy lances and are destroyed. A voice breaks over the vox. "My lord, the multilasers are prepped for firing. Just give us the command."

rolled 29 = 29

>>15602055

DO IT.

rolled 82 = 82

ALLOW FOR MULTIPLE SIMULATIONS AND DEVASTATING MULTILASER STRIKES

rolled 63 = 63

>>15602072

THAT'S MULTIPLE SIMULTANEOUS AND DEVASTATING OFFENSIVE MULTILASER AUGMENTED DEEPSTRIKES, BROTHER.

rolled 87 = 87

>>15602055

FIRE MULTIPLE SIMULTANEOUS AND DEVASTATING OFFENSIVELY DEFENSIVE AUTOMATIC SYNCHRONIZED MULTILASER BEAMS AT THE ELDAR SHIPS!

rolled 49 = 49

>>15602055
RAMMING SPEED.

>>15602072
The massed multilasers fire.

Thousands of lasbolts simultaneously rain down fron the Vengeful Spirit. Eldar fighters and clipped and pelleted by the multilasers, burning and scorching their hulls. The concentrated lasfire quickly brings down several Eldar craft, which either explode with a burst of energy or descend to Terra with a trial of purple-blue smoke.

A few unlucky drop pods are also hit by the multilasers. The Eldar attack force breaks away from the pods.

You now turn to Terra, and see the ground quickly rising towards you as your freefall quickens.

rolled 25 = 25

>>15602122
Use the arm.

rolled 8 = 8

>>15602122

BRACE OURSELVES!

rolled 77 = 77

>>15602122
SINDRIIII!!

rolled 43 = 43

>15602122

AIM FOR TURKEY, THAT'S WHERE THE EMPEROR WAS BORN!

rolled 9 = 9

Break your fall with Sindri

rolled 45 = 45

>>15602148
No.
Break the GROUND with Sindri

rolled 57 = 57

Pray to the ruinous powers to lighten your fall.

>>15602122
BTW, OP I did picture for you yesterday, but my scanner was down. It is up today though.

rolled 26 = 26

>>15602122

SINDRIIIIIIII!!!!

Jump from the Drop Pod before landing, grab the Drop Pod with Sindri, fling it around in mid air and throw it at an Eldar ship, then yell "THIS PARTY IS GETTING CRAZY!" as you continue your free fall

rolled 53 = 53

Pray that the Ruinous Powers will accelerate you so you quicker will reach Terra!

rolled 32 = 32

>>15602122
It's high time, that the Ruinous Powers granted you wings.

rolled 11 = 11

>>15602122

Fuck, rolling for this! May the Ruinous Powers bless this dice!

>>15602187

rolled 49 = 49

TEAR GRAVITY ITSELF ASUNDER.

>>15602139
As the earth rises towards you, you curse Sidnri by shouting his name at the top of your lungs. A green patch comes into view and...

You abruptly come to a stop. A pain lashes through your body at the sudden change. You look up slowly and see Sidnri grasping onto a large tree branch.

You appear to be in a jungle. Or a forest. Whatever, same thing. You dangle many meters above the ground still.

What now, warmaster?

>>15602179
Utter appalling heresy. Good job.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15602217

Set the jungle aflame.

rolled 52 = 52

>>15602217
IGNITE THE FOREST. WITH ARAGHAST CODPIECE.

rolled 84 = 84

>>15602217

BURN IT DOWN! THE EMPEROR CAN'T HIDE IN FIRE!

rolled 12 = 12

Look for allied drop pods.

rolled 89 = 89

>>15602225
>>15602229
>>15602231
Firemind.
Rolling for these.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15602187

SET THE JUNGLE ABLAZE! ACCURSED EMPEROR!

>>15602242
You decide to light the forest on fire, but you do not know how. You have no incendiary or flammable items on hand, only your bionic arms.

You hear drop pods falling nearby and see some in the distance. You see your own crash several meters away from you.

rolled 68 = 68

>>15602271
Search our pod for flamers and shit.
Failing that find a marine with a weapon capable of burning shit.

rolled 38 = 38

>>15602271

THE DROP POD HAS A THRUSTER AND ENGINE! USE THEM TO MAKE FIRE!

rolled 87 = 87

>>15602271
Jump down, ninja style, then walk to your pod shouting "WEEEE-HOOO? ANYONE NEAR? IT'S YOUR PRECIOUS LEADER SPEAKIN'!"

rolled 75 = 75

Regroup with fellow astartes. Burn forest together.

rolled 20 = 20

>>15602271

Eviscerate the binds that hold you by RAPIDLY PUNCHING THEM. Proceed to your pod.

rolled 17 = 17

>>15602271

We have a psyker in our fist, thus we tell Sindri to use his SICK WARP FIRES to wreath our fists in UNHOLY FUCKFIRE to BURN THIS SHITHOLE TO THE GROUND.

rolled 71 = 71

>>15602271
make the forest commit suicide by setting its self on fire because you are that fucking hardcore

rolled 61 = 61

Tell Sindri to burn the forest with warp fire.

>>15602291
You release your grip on the branch and fall to the ground below. You land upon your feet as you do.

You begin striding over to your drop pod while announcing your presence to anyone who can here. Suddenly, a large bulky figure appears coming from the jungle brush. He's wearing the colours of the Iron Warriors and wields a meltagun.

"Lord Abaddon!"

rolled 45 = 45

>>15602329

FIST

BUMP.

rolled 76 = 76

"USE THAT MELTA ON TREES FUCKASS! BURN IT ALL DOWN!"

rolled 87 = 87

>>15602334

SECONDED

rolled 64 = 64

>>15602329

YOU THERE! SET THE JUNGLE ON FIRE!

rolled 86 = 86

>>15602334
>>15602346

If anyone's wondering why, this is the marine who got us our FAITHFUL BIONIC ARMS.

rolled 47 = 47

>>15602329
you see that drop pod right there. i want you to make it into a warhound titan. now

rolled 39 = 39

>>15602329
"WHERE ARE OUR METAL BOXES?!"

>>15602346
You walk to the Iron Warrior and give him a brofist with Sindri fist. Sindri whimpers as he is hurt by mighty fist bump. "I see your bionic arms are you serving you well, my lord." the marine says proudly

rolled 7 = 7

>>15602396

Promote him there on the spot to... Fucking something. Jesus this man deserves a medal.

rolled 76 = 76

>>15602396
tell him to make a land raider out of the drop pods. and make it a land raider redeemer

rolled 66 = 66

>>15602402
Supreme Artificer of the Black Legion.

rolled 23 = 23

>>15602396
"Where is our Heavy Support, warsmith?"

rolled 69 = 69

>>15602396
Compliment on a job well done, then order him to burn the jungle with multi-melta.

rolled 26 = 26

>>15602396

Promote him to great Hardcorus, bringer of metal arms, destroyer of jungles.

Then command him to burn the jungle to the ground, also tell Sindri to call Eliphas with his sourcerous powers, you need to tell Eliphas he has been demoted.

rolled 31 = 31

>>15602421
>>15602402

YES.

rolled 19 = 19

>>15602396

Tell him he's promoted, then tell him to burn the jungle.

rolled 81 = 81

>>15602414
Rolling for this.

rolled 21 = 21

>>15602414

Slaaneshi Artificer of the Black Legion, apparently.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15602396

Promote him to master of hounds, lash of the black legion.

rolled 17 = 17

>>15602445

>88

FUCK YES KHORNE! Also Khorne is clearly displeased with Araghast.

>>15602445
You inform the marine that his bionic arms have indeed served you well, and as such he is to be given the title Master of Hounds, and Lash of the Black Legion.

The Iron Warrior is stunned for a moment."You..honour me my, lord."

Araghast lets out a psychic shout. "But lord, that is MY title!"

rolled 21 = 21

>>15602466

"Silence Araghast, or do you want to end up like Eliphas cleaning Jokaeroan shit back in the ship?"

rolled 100 = 100

>>15602466
Punch codpiece

rolled 46 = 46

>>15602466

In a deft movement, tear off the codpiece and mount it on your non-SINDRIII in a fashion akin to a stormbolter.

"SILENCE!"

rolled 27 = 27

>>15602481

rolled 96 = 96

>>15602466
have the warrior build a horse of metal. with a horn sticking out of the center of its head. and a mane of fire that it multicolored

>>15602481
You bring Sindri upon Araghast, smashing your codpiece with your hand. Both bound howl in agony.

The Iron Warrior looks at you strangely. "Is.. everything alright, my lord?"

Does this mean we no longer have the 'Lash of the Legion' on our crotch?

I am disappoint.

rolled 10 = 10

>>15602518

"THE WARP HAS OVERTAKEN ME."

"IT IS A GOOD FEELING."

rolled 42 = 42

>>15602518
yes all is fine. now let us burn this forest in the name of the emperor

rolled 89 = 89

>>15602518
"My codpiece was talking to me. Now then, burn the jungle with your melta and let us be on our way."

>>15602518
IT IS A GOOD PAIN,

BURN THE TREES.

ALL OF THEM.

And for fucks sake find me the god emperor

rolled 52 = 52

>>15602534
derp, rolling

rolled 59 = 59

>>15602518
Let out the loudest shriek possible for the Head of the 14th Black Crusade, "BURN THE FOREST! FIND THE EMPRAH! BRING ME THAT SISSY ELIPHAS!"

>>15602533
The astartes looks at you a bit awkwardly. "Very well then, my lord..."

He lowers the meltagun to his waist level and discharges. A jet of burning melta licks at the jungle, vaporizing and melting the the target brush and a portion of a large tree.

Flames soon spread from the heated spot where the melta was fired, burning across the trees and plants near you.

rolled 28 = 28

>>15602558
Did i tell you to stop?

KEEP FIRING

rolled 88 = 88

>>15602558
"Now, point me to the rest of our troops, Master of Hounds."

>>15602565
KHOOOOOOORNEEEEEE!

>>15602565
The Master of Hounds shrugs. "Sorry, my lord, but your the only other astartes I've seen so far."

You then hear movement coming from the brush. It is then followed by a easy recognized voice. "OH MAN LOOK AT ALL THOSE LITTLE FUZZY THINGS BURNING. IT'S LIKE A CATACHAN BARBECUE!"

As if Khorne has blessed you, Kharn the Betrayer and a dozen of his World Eaters step into your view. "ABADDON, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A BARBECUE? I WOULD HAVE BROUGHT MARSHMELLOWS."

>>15602612
"SURPRISE KHARN, WE MAKE MARSHMELLOWS FROM THE FALSE EMPRAH."

rolled 74 = 74

>>15602612
everyone stop what you are doing. we have marshmellows to roast

rolled 56 = 56

>>15602633
Hand me the dice, Steve. Thanks.

rolled 79 = 79

>>15602612
no kharne you are the marshmellows.

rolled 89 = 89

>>15602612
DUDE I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A PICNIC, WHAT'S A PICNIC WITHOUT FIRES?

rolled 22 = 22

>>15602612
HAVE AHRIMAN SUMMON MARSHMALLOWS
He can do that, right?

rolled 52 = 52

Tell him it was a surprise barbecue and ask if he's seen any other marines.

rolled 1 = 1

>>15602612

no kharne you are the marshmellows.

rolled 40 = 40

>>15602612
ask kharn if he knows where the fuck we are. and if he's seen any more of those fucking eldar.

rolled 33 = 33

>>15602612

KHAAAAAAAAAARN! I HAVE AN IMPORTANT MISSION FOR YOU! KILL EVERYTHING THAT'S NOT ON OUR SIDE! INCLUDING THE PLANTS!

rolled 26 = 26

>>15602612
Tell him that we must go on a journey to find sugar, so as that we may make marshmallows.

rolled 18 = 18

>>15602612
Ask if he DID bring anything that is delicious to eat and possibly grill and/or barbeque.

>>15602683
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

>>15602660
"I GUESS THAT TRUE." Kharn says, shrugging.

Suddenly you hear some more movement in the brush. An eldar comes out, armed with a rifle unlike the shuriken guns they usually wield.

"Xenos bastards!" he shouts. Kharn and his berzerkers hear and turn to the eldar, revving their chainaxes. The Master of Hounds readies his meltagun.

rolled 96 = 96

>>15602726

DELIVER A MARTIAL ARTS FLYING KICK TO THE ELDAR SCUM'S FACE WHILE YELLING "YAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"

rolled 69 = 69

>>15602726
Break his limbs and interogate him.

rolled 12 = 12

>>15602726
"The fuck did you just call me?"

Hit him with your codpiece.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15602726
Adeptus Astartes in guise of an Eldar! I must Investigate! Daemonical Duo into tha stalker's face!

rolled 40 = 40

>>15602744

>96

YES

YES

rolled 95 = 95

punch to knock out the eldar and check if the eldar is a female if so keep her for later

>>15602754
KHORNE WILLS IT

rolled 9 = 9

>>15602726
ready your non-sindri fist to deliver a punch with your love, hate and all of your sorrow. then drop kick that motherfucker in the face

rolled 77 = 77

>>15602754

Rolling for this

rolled 68 = 68

>>15602780
>>15602744

>77 and 96 for flying kick

THE CHAOS GODS DEMAND IT!

>>15602754
>>15602780

>>15602754
>>15602780
Looks like Nurgle and Khorne want to tag team this BIATCH

rolled 29 = 29

>>15602785
>>15602786
>>15602794

Damn it, actually i wanted to roll for this:

>>15602744

rolled 27 = 27

>>15602754
>>15602780
RIP N TEAR
RIP N TEAR YOUR GUTS

>>15602754
Upon the words "xenos scum" you are reminded of the loyalist astartes. You decide it'd be best to try and interrogate this Eldar.

You charge towards the warrior. Instead do suing it's gun it unleashes a powerful psychic blast. However, Khorne protects you from the xeno's foul sorcery and the psychic wave is render powerless as it hits your armour.

You push your codpiece and Sindri forward, both bound appendages smashing into the Eldar's face and knocking him down. Your opponent lies on the floor, injured and bleed drenching his shattered helm.

>>15602122
>as your freefall quickens.
Um, what?

>>15602842
GRAVITY, BITCH!

rolled 35 = 35

>>15602831
Unmask the eldar using SINDRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

rolled 50 = 50

>>15602831

skullfuck him, please Slanesh and Khorne at the same time proving your worth as Warmaster!

rolled 44 = 44

>>15602831
turn the eldar in to a basketball and make the game winnig dunk onto another eldar's face

rolled 34 = 34

>>15602831
Unmask the xeno imposter!

rolled 90 = 90

>>15602831
Use SINDRIIIIII's power to read the Eldar's mind, then splode it's head.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15602831

Unmask him.
Then fuck his eye sockets with your titanic chaotic dick.

rolled 33 = 33

>>15602831
Unmask and interrogate.
Eldars shouldn't be on Terra, try to learn more.

rolled 7 = 7

>>15602831

fuck it

>>15602888
You place your Sindri arm over the downed Eldar's head in an attempt to read the xeno's mind. However, as you attempt to create a psychic link the eldar repels you with it's mind. A mild warp burst scorches the palm of the Sindri arm, the bound sorcerer screams from the pain yet again.

"Vile creature. How dare you have the gall to attack the eldar! Do you know who we are?!" the warrior shouts

rolled 9 = 9

>>15602940

"I DON'T CARE!"

Crush it's head with Sindri

rolled 81 = 81

>>15602940
you do
>>15602869

rolled 59 = 59

>>15602940
Punch him and shout "Who the hell do you think WE are?!"

rolled 98 = 98

>>15602940
>>15602955
Seconding this action

rolled 62 = 62

>>15602940
"Let's see how hard you'll be, when I'll crush your spirit stone!" Intimidate check "Tell me what's your business here longeared bitch!"

>>15602997
>spirit stone
>before slaanesh even exist
>eldar empire

So wait how is the lack of slaanesh affecting all the slaaneshi followers?

rolled 57 = 57

>>15602940
Headbutt him
"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?"

rolled 66 = 66

>>15602940
IM F*%KING ABADDON YOU LITTLE SHIT. Rip his head off with my fist, allow Sindri to feed warp energy from the dying Eldar.

>>15602977
You slam Sindri into the Eldar's face and demand to know who the hell he thinks you are.

"I think you are intruding xenos, coming to cause havoc by attacking our hunting reserve!" he says, blood spitting from his mouth

rolled 3 = 3

>>15603030
throw him into the sun

rolled 7 = 7

>>15603039

This is good.

rolled 78 = 78

>>15603030
ASK HIM WHERE THE BIG GAME IS.

THEN USE ARAGHAST TO CRUSH HIS SENSITIVE EARS

rolled 16 = 16

>>15603039
do this.

Inform him, while doing this, just what you did to his Great Great Great Great Grandson, and that his eople will give birth to a god in a massive squick orgy.


then display a naked picture of his mother onto his heads up display

rolled 97 = 97

>>15603030
"GENTLEMEN! WITH THIS HEAD I OPEN THE ELDAR SEASON! GOOD HUNTING!" rip off eldar's head and throw it to the world eaters.

rolled 78 = 78

>>15603070
do this thing

rolled 9 = 9

"So the Hunter becomes....the hunted" rip his head off and search his body.

rolled 75 = 75

>>15603078
seconding this

rolled 71 = 71

>>15603070
>>15603078
Combine these

>>15603078
You grasp the Eldar's head with Sindri. You announce that to your marines that you'll be the ones do the hunting now, specifically hunting the Eldar.

You then rip off the xeno's head and toss it to Kharn's berzerkers, who immediately start fighting over who gets to eat it.

"NO!" a horrified voice shouts.

You turn and see a squad of Eldar near the treeline. Some are carrying guns, other close combat weapons. At the scream of their squad leader they open fire upon you and your marines.

rolled 75 = 75

>>15603145
slap all of them across the face with you dick. all in one smooth motion

rolled 96 = 96

>>15603145

GENTLEMEN! I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT THERE IS NO LIMIT TO THE NUMBER OF ELVES WE CAN BAG!

Use sindri to create annoying pop-up ads on their helmets and charge in, possibly doing a fastball special with Kharn

rolled 69 = 69

>>15603162
yeah we've been neglecting Araghast

rolled 83 = 83

>>15603145
They will never get bored with their origami star shurikans. Sigh. Slam daemonic duo together to send psychic shriek-o-blast in eldar direction.

rolled 7 = 7

>>15603177
Ohhh. Yes.

rolled 35 = 35

>>15603177
>create annoying pop-up ads on their helmets
The Eldar's helmets or ours?

rolled 94 = 94

>>15603195
Eldar's

>>15603177
You tell your astartes to kill as many of the Eldar as they please, which is met with cheers and shouts of enthusiasm.

You attempt to use a sorcerous technique on the Eldar with Sindri, but the bound sorcerer is repelled and injured by the minds of the xeno warriors.

They unleash streams of bullets, some las-like and others mental rounds. A berzerker's helm is pierced as raises his bolt pistol to fire. Another is shot through the torso by continues his charge.

You rush towards the squad of warriors. Kharn rushes along your side and you grab the champion of Khorne.You lift him with Sindri, spin him around and hurl him towards an Eldar marksman, who's eyes expand as he screams.

The Master of Hounds is struck by a mind bullet and cruses, before falling to the ground. The lead Eldar seems to be preparing to unleash a psychic attack of some sort.

rolled 41 = 41

It had to be done.

rolled 95 = 95

>>15603145
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
ELDAR SKULLS FOT THE SKULL THRONE!

rolled 3 = 3

>>15603298
Charge to the leader and bitchslap bitch.

>>15603306

God among men.

>>15603306
I think I jizzed a little.

>>15603298
Kick ass

Take names

???

Profit!

rolled 30 = 30

>>15603334
Forgot my roll

rolled 18 = 18

>>15603298
use tactical genuise to spawn a titan over the eldar

rolled 65 = 65

>>15603320
This, followed by a brutal and depraved interogation/execution after the area has been secured.

rolled 18 = 18

>>15603298
Beat him to a pulp with SINDRIIIIIIIII.

rolled 49 = 49

>>15603298
GUYS, YOU ARE MAKING THIS TOO COMPLICATED!

GET IN THERE, SMASH SHIT, TAKE SKULLS, BROFIST KHARN

rolled 98 = 98

>>15603298
AVENGE THE FALLEN. Throw a fallen Eldar to Kharne and tell him to beat them to death with it's body.

Hope the eldar is still alive when you do so.

rolled 71 = 71

>>15603298
Do a barrelroll on Eldar troops, while summoning daemons of every god to make party HARD.

>>15603414
You continue your charge towards the Eldar squad. A bolter round fired from one of the berzerkers hits an Eldar warrior in the arm, causing it to explode in a mess of gore. You run over to the wounded xeno and grab them. You then hurl hit at Kharn, who's having trouble pulling his axe from an Eldar's chest.

You call to him and tell him to use the Eldar you threw. He grabs it and starts beating the other xenos to death with their friend.

The Eldar squad leader fires a blast of eldritch lightning, completely vaporizing a World Eater.

rolled 69 = 69

>>15603519
Punch the Faggot with SSSSIIIINDRIIIII and posably araghast

rolled 16 = 16

>>15603519
Summon daemons!

rolled 19 = 19

>>15603519
Try using the combined power of both Sindri and Araghast to fuck them up, and figure out whats going on at the same time.

rolled 96 = 96

>>15603519
Grab that bitch and beat his ass

rolled 25 = 25

>>15603519
your foot up his ass. congratulation you have a new boot

>>15603562
While Kharn and his warriors are handling the main squad you head off to fight the leader. The Eldar draws a blade as you approach and lunges towards you.

To the xeno's surprise the blade does not pierce your armour (terminator armour bitches!) but drags along the side, leaving a nasty scratch. You then grab the arm of the Eldar and drag it towards you. You start punching and wailing on the warrior with Sindri.

rolled 39 = 39

>>15603658
Beat some more and then interrogate.

rolled 28 = 28

>>15603658
We push Sindri into eldarine ass and pull the intestines out. Then throw corpses on the rest of eldar to intimidate them.

rolled 34 = 34

>>15603658
punt that mother fucker toward the Vengful Spirit. have them lock on to that mother fucker and unleash space monkey laser hell

rolled 5 = 5

>>15603658

Carve the Eldar's heart out and eat it to gain it's powers.

Then eat his brain to gain his memories.

rolled 28 = 28

RAPE IT
Please the unborn Slaanesh.

rolled 2 = 2

Slam it's poop box with Araghast.

rolled 67 = 67

>>15603658
Beat Eldar to near death, interrogate as to exactly where Abaddon and crew are at, give a present to the followers of Slannesh.

rolled 60 = 60

Remove it's helmet and interrogate it.

rolled 11 = 11

TEAR HER IN HALF!

rolled 80 = 80

>>15603658
Knock the bitch out.

rolled 18 = 18

>>15603658
INTERROGATE THE BITCH

rolled 60 = 60

Hump/beat it with Araghast.

rolled 38 = 38

First question it
Then knock it out
After that it's raping time

rolled 82 = 82

we use Araghast

rolled 45 = 45

Get gifted some Kamina Shades from the Dark Gods

>>15603817
You decide that it's time to use Araghast and not just Sindri for once. You push the Eldar to the ground, getting the xeno on it's knees. You then get behind the alien and ready Araghast.

"What's going on? What are you planning on doing?!" it yells

You pull back your codpiece and slam it at the Eldar's rear. It lets out a howl of pain.

"I AM THE LASH OF THE BLACK LEGION!" roars Araghast

You continue slamming your codpiece at the Eldar, who screams constantly. Soon it passes out from the pain. Cracks now cover the xeno's rear plate.

Meanwhile Kharn and his World Eaters have taken down the other Eldar. The Master of Hounds finishes off the last one as it charges at him with his meltagun, still lying on the ground from his wound.

rolled 98 = 98

>>15603883
Bring the Master of Hounds to the nearest Apothecary! We must not let him die!

rolled 29 = 29

>>15603899
We have no apothacary amongst us.

"sides, he was killing just fine.

rolled 100 = 100

>>15603883
cook the eldar. have that barbeque you said you would have. feast like the king you are

rolled 54 = 54

>>15603883
NOW.....WE PLAY THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME!

start hunting Eldar, keep an eye out for human settlements, pray we didn't land in Australia

rolled 62 = 62

>>15603921
We have a winner.

ROLLING FOR SAVING MASTER OF HOUNDS! MEDIC!

rolled 66 = 66

>>15603883
Rip Eldar armor and then mindread bitch head with daemonic duet. When we're finished, we help Iron Warrior Master of Hounds.

>>15603921
>>15603957
Natural 100 or Chaos God's blessing. Tough choice indeed.

rolled 54 = 54

>>15603957
SLAANESH'S BLESSINGS!

rolled 94 = 94

>>15603899
>>15603921

I lol'd.

Anyway, an Apothecary is not needed, have Eliphas bring down a couple of Jokaero, we shall build the Master of Hounds, the Lash of the Black Legion... A ROBOT BODY

>>15603957
As the Eldar leader lay downed on the jungle floor, Slaanesh speaks to you.The gods tells you to remove it's armour and reveal it's flesh.

You reach down with Sindri and grab the xeno's head. You pull off it's helm and as you do a mess of long red hair comes to view.

It seems the Eldar is a female.

Tempted by Slaanesh, you continue to remove more pieces of armour. You then press Sindri and Araghast against the body of the xeno. Her psychic defenses down, your daemons read her mind without any trouble. You learn that this entire planet is used as hunting reserve by the Eldar and that there are no known sentient beings on it.

Once finished you walk over to the Master of Hounds and help him get up. "Thank you, my lord." he says. He seems to be bleeding quite a bit, but no permanent damage can be seen.

rolled 98 = 98

>>15604063

Bring the xenos to your ship. She shall be Abaddon's waifu.

rolled 47 = 47

NO SENTIENT LIFE?! AHRIMAN! WHERE DID YOU LAND US!?

rolled 81 = 81

>>15604063
Contact Ahriman through force of will.

Confirm we landed during the right time.


The way I see it, we Landed way too early, we should destroy Eldar empire and wait for Emps

rolled 70 = 70

>>15604063
cook the eldar
eat the eldar
damnation and i got a natural 100 but then slaanesh show up

rolled 2 = 2

>>15604063
>>15604077
I second that. Abaddon finally made it with dead daemonette trio. Macha will finally make it with Abaddon.

rolled 23 = 23

>>15604063
>Slaanesh
>no Sapient beings

WHERE THE FUCK IS AHRIMAN

WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE

WHEN THE FUCK ARE WE

SLAANESH SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST RIGHT NOW GOD DAMN IT.

>>15604077
As you look upon the sprawled out, half-armoured eldar bitch a thought crosses your mind. A heretical one.

You activate your vox, and tell the crew aboard the Vengeful Spirit to send down a small transport vessel. You tell them you want them to pick up the Eldar female and keep her safe in a cell as he plan to marry her.

At your last statement the entire group turns to you and stares silently, dumbstruck. You can hear Kharn mutter "What the fuck..." under his breath.

Suddenly a voice breaks over the vox "Hello?! Typhus! Doomrider! IS ANYONE OUT THERE?!"

It dawns on me now that this thread is even more chaotic than Chaos ever was or will be.

rolled 77 = 77

Rape the elder female, after we are done with her let the berserkers have her.

Abadon fucks an eldar, the emprah is. spoilerz

>>15604206
Derp forgot my tripcode.

rolled 31 = 31

>>15604206
YOUR MASTER IS FUCKING HERE! NOW WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? NAME AND RANK NOW BEFORE I HAVE YOU ON JOKAERO DUTY!

rolled 81 = 81

>>15604206
drop a funky ass beat on the vox to respond to the voices in your head

rolled 71 = 71

>>15604212
Nurgle blessing on rape? That will be at least dirty. Ready your chocolate star, Macha.

rolled 54 = 54

>>15604212
>>15604243
....shiiiiit, we're gonna get eldar herpes from this.

rolled 1 = 1

>>15604206

DAMN RIGHT I'M HERE! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?

rolled 63 = 63

>>15604206
Respond with a "WHO IS THIS?"

>>15604212
>>15604212


USE. THE ARM!!

Bumpforthedarklords

>>15604241
You proceed to start beatboxing over the vox channel. Slowly, the berzerkers bob their heads to the funky beat. And it is one helluva funky beat.

A vox screams over the vox "I AM LUCIUS OF THE EMPEROR'S CHILDREN! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?!"

>>15604320
Nurgle is displeased

rolled 22 = 22

>>15604320
YOUR BOSS, DIPSHIT! WHERE ARE YOU, HOW MANY MARI-ER....MEN DO YOU HAVE WITH YOU, AND WHY DID YOU NOT ENJOY MY FUNKY JIVE?

rolled 25 = 25

>>15604320
Hello, slaaneshi cunt. is your refrigerator running?

>>15604212
>>15604206

I don't know how to deal with this.

rolled 7 = 7

>>15604363
don't

rolled 40 = 40

>>15604320
I AM THE STRENGTH OF THE GODS INCARNATE. I AM KHORNE'S FURY AND MIGHT, THE TENACITY OF NURGLE, THE HOPE OF THE UNIVERSE IN TZEENTCH'S NAME AND THE GLORY OF PLEASURE BY THE YET BORN SLAANESH. I'M EZEKEIL ABADDON, WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!

Now get to my coordinates so we can regroup and plan a proper offense, for fucks sake.

rolled 25 = 25

>>15604320
this is the emperor speaking. what seems to be the problem

rolled 49 = 49

>>15604320
Oh hey pre heresy EC, scream back with that I Abaddon lord of-WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM!!!

rolled 83 = 83

>>15604320
"It is I, the Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind. I have been watching you, Son of Fulgrim, and I must say I am quite dissapointed."

>>15604387
You scold Lucius over the vox and inform him that you are Abaddon. "Oh thank fuck! Where the fuck are you?! We need some fucking help FAST!"

You hear some rapid movement coming from deeper in the jungle brush.

>>15604421
>writes post
>refreshes and checks thread for any higher rolls
>none to be seen
>posts
>NEW POST
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

rolled 11 = 11

>>15604432
March double time and tell everyone to prepare for giving whatever's attacking our champion of Slaanesh a brutal beatdown.

Today, we fuck shit up.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15604432
look at the bush with so much hate that it sets its self on fire

rolled 32 = 32

>>15604432

Shoot mind bullets at bushes, ask Lucius where his bitch ass is.

rolled 9 = 9

>>15604432
Siiiiindriiiii!!!! Ready a warp fireball
>>15604441
Just roll with it

rolled 61 = 61

>>15604432

"FUCK FINE, I, THE LASH OF THE BLACK LEGION, and KHARN! Shall go and bail your bitch ass out"

Command Sindri to tell you which way Lucius and his gang of homicidal rapist junkies are.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15604472

Then tell Lucius you, Kharn and the Lash of the Black Legion are on their way and to deal with it.

Need to have dinner right now. Going to be back in twenty minutes or so.

rolled 40 = 40

>>15604432
find out what the movment is.

Alright I'm back.

>>15604472
You stare at the brush where the sounds of movement came from. You gaze at it with utter hatred and anger in your eyes. Suddenly smoke appears from within jungle.

You see a group of astartes run out of the brush. One at the back is firing a flamer into the jungle as he retreats. You recognize the marine at the head of the group as Lucius the Eternal.

"ABADDON!" he shouts as he spots you and your group

rolled 83 = 83

>>15604746
Smile and wave at him!

rolled 94 = 94

>>15604746
tell kharn to stay where he is/ not to attack lucius

rolled 52 = 52

>>15604799

Then fistbump Lucius for burning this accursed vegetation.

rolled 93 = 93

Run across the field with arms spread and embrace him.

Also, who did the archive of this thread on sup/tg/? You forgot to have the Collective Games tag and wrote IV wrong faggot.

rolled 9 = 9

>>15604847
my bad, I'm a newfag

>>15604746

also, figure out what the hell went wrong with the time travel

>>15604799
Remembering the rivalry between Slaanesh and Khorne you order Kharn to stay his ground so as the avoid attacking Lucius.

"DON'T WORRY MAN, ME AND LUCIUS ARE BROS! WE FOUGHT AT ISTVAAN AND TERRA MAN! I WOULDN'T TRY AND KILL HIM, UNLIKE THE FAGGOT AHRIMAN." Kharn says to you

Lucius and his squad run towards you at a rapid pace. As they do you see something large and terrible emerge from the jungle brush. The enormous two-legged creature sees you and lets out an thunderous roar. Lucius screams nearly as loud.

"RUN! FUCKING RUN!"

rolled 54 = 54

>>15604746
LUCIUS! HAVE YOU SEEN AHRIMAN? HE'S GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!

rolled 9 = 9

>>15604917

"Sindri... Araghast... We have a mount to tame"

rolled 22 = 22

>>15604917

TAME THAT MOTHERFUCKER! ABADDASS NEEDS A MOUNT TO CARRY HIS GIGANTIC ASS! HELL WE'LL HAVE THE JOKAERO OUTFIT HIM WITH ARCANE WEAPONS!

rolled 1 = 1

>>15604917
Kill the T-rex and make it's skull Your new pauldron, then bitchslap Arhiman for screwing up the time travel.

rolled 18 = 18

>>15604951
Screw my idea, I'm supporting this!!

rolled 58 = 58

>>15604917
JUMP ON THAT THING AND USE ARAGHAST TO POUND ITS SKULL INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS, SO THAT WE MAY MAKE IT OUR STEED

rolled 11 = 11

WE HAVE NO TIME TO BE RUNNING FROM AN OVERGROWN LIZARD! WE NEED TO FIND AHRIMAN AND FIND OUT HOW HE FUCKED UP THIS TIME!

Wait for creature to get closer then PUNCH HIM IN THE FUCKING JAW WHEN HE TRIES TO BITE US!

rolled 100 = 100

CHARGE THAT FUCKER WITH KHARN AND HIS BOYS

rolled 26 = 26

>>15605009

>100

DAMN IT

rolled 44 = 44

>>15604951
I say doubles takes precedence

rolled 78 = 78

.....THIS
IS
GLORIOUS!


WE HAVE FOUND OURSELVES A PROPER MOUNT! TAME AND RIDE FOR GLORY!

rolled 25 = 25

>>15605009
>>15605028
Charging it isn't mutualy exclusive to future taming possiblities

rolled 38 = 38

>>15604951

That 22 better be taking precedence over that 100

>>15605009
You turn to Kharn and tell him you want to charge the beast. He chuckles hardily. "A GOOD IDEA!" He and his berzerkers rev their chainaxes and surge forward.

As your group moves towards the carnosaur Lucis' continues to flee. The flamer marine is caught by the jaws of the massive lizard, which bites down a few items before tossing the bloodied ceramite-shelled marine away.

As you move forward Lucius passes by you, panting, and you see the carnosaur leaning towards you with it's jaws open as it approaches.

Wait a second... Dinosaurs...
>Kharn: I SURE LOVE BURNING ALL THOSE >LITTLE FUZZY THINGS!
AHRIMAN YOU IDIOT, you sent us too far back! WE'VE DESTROYED ALL THE MAMMALS, NOW EMPERASQUE WILL ACTUALLY EXIST, AND THE IMPERIAL GUARD WILL BE MADE OF DINOSAURS!

FUUUUUUUUUUUU-

rolled 50 = 50

>>15605108
PUNCH IT IN THE THROAT

rolled 23 = 23

>>15605108
punch it on the nose, while it's distracted leap on it's back & try to use sindri & araghast to tame it as quickly as possible.

Guys, Kharn said he was butchering little fuzzy things. We are in the past.

TL:DR, We're going to have to fight Dinosaur Emperor and his DINO MARINES when we return. FUCK.

rolled 93 = 93

>>15605146
not if a metior has anything to say about that
>>15605108
stab it in the eye
then make friends with it

>>15605094
Only 66, 77, 88 and 99 are instant wins.

rolled 49 = 49

Slam it in the nose with Araghast.

rolled 14 = 14

>>15605108

Use Sindri and Araghast to bash it around until it learns that you are his new master.

>>15605109
>>15605146

Don't worry, we'll blow up Terra before leaving.

rolled 32 = 32

>>15605108

TAME THAT MOTHERFUCKER!

rolled 9 = 9

>>15605109
>>15605146
Then it would be called The Imperiumn of the Dinosaur

rolled 29 = 29

>>15605108
PUNCH IT.
IN THE DICK.
TWICE.

rolled 82 = 82

>>15605146

I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO BLOW UP TERRA BEFORE LEAVING WONT WE?

rolled 52 = 52

stop overreacting people. He only butchered a few of them, its not going to cause a mass extinction of mammals

rolled 87 = 87

>>15605281

No, but the destruction of Terra will

rolled 34 = 34

>>15605281
it only takes one key ancestor, to unmake entire species

MFW abaddon is the one who caused the extinction of the dinosaurs

rolled 89 = 89

>>15605312
were doing tjhs man! were making it happan!

>>15605168
As the carnosaur's head come closer to you, you prepare to stab it in the ye. However you realize that you both your weapons were in your drop pod.

As the beast's jaws close in you settle for punching once again. You swerve to the side and avoid the carnosaur's dagger-like teeth and slam Sindri into it's eye.

The creature lifts it's head and roars in agony as fluid drips along the side of it's head. As it does so, you feel sorry. You extend your arm to the beast in a gesture of friendship.

It stares down at you with it's one remaining eye and sends you flying back with a swing from it's tail.

>>15605445

You're pissed now! Use your diabolical will power to fly back at the beast and land on it's back, command Sindri to use his sorcerous powers to tame the beast!

rolled 25 = 25

>>15605486

Dur forgot my roll.

rolled 26 = 26

>>15605445
Grab its tail.
Store it up its ass.

rolled 14 = 14

>>15605445
TAME IT WITH SINDRI'S PSYKER POWERS

rolled 100 = 100

>>15605445

Use Sindri's magical mumbo jumbo to tame the beast

rolled 20 = 20

>>15605509

>>15605509
The berzerkers attempt to rush the carnosaur but it knocks them aside with it's tail as it turns to face you. As you lie on the ground, the titanic lizard charges towards you, it's jaws eager for rending and it's feet thundering.

As it closes it, you raise Sindri up towards the beast. As the carnosaur is about to strike a wave of psychic energy emits from the arm and the creature abruptly stops. The psychic energy ripples through it's mind and the monster becomes passive.

rolled 70 = 70

>>15605612
Ride our new mount

rolled 79 = 79

>>15605612

MOUNT IT

rolled 14 = 14

>>15605612
>rip out skull
>use bones to make big ass fuck sword
>look for more dinosaures
>?????
>chaos wins

rolled 30 = 30

>>15605612
Have the Jokaero give him a LAZER EYE and other cool stuff

rolled 83 = 83

>>15605612
get weapons from drop pod then mount it

rolled 17 = 17

>>15605612

Mount it! About damn time Abaddass got a mount.

rolled 24 = 24

Mountitmountitmountitmountitmountit

>>15605685
While the carnosaur is still passive you decide to fetch your weapons from the drop pod. After several minutes of retracing your steps you find the pod. You reach inside and draw your daemon sword and Talon from inside.

You go back to where the lizard beast was. You find it still in place, the berzerkers near it arguing over how best to cook/eat the creature. You ignore them and climb the beast's leg. Soon, you sit atop the mighty one-eyed carnosaur.

What now, badass warmaster?

rolled 26 = 26

>>15605779
have you space monkeys make you this

rolled 33 = 33

>>15605827
supporting roll

rolled 84 = 84

>>15605827
I approve of this. Greatly.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15605827
This. Always.

We've hit 298 posts.

Gonna make a new thread.

rolled 13 = 13

>>15605827

Rolling for this.

Actually, scratch that. New thread will be tomorrow. I've got to go to bed.

rolled 86 = 86

>>15606028
damnation
alright tomorrow it is

>>15605970
>>15606028
Please remember that Khorne supported the turning the T-rex into a cyborg death machine.

>>15606202
hope this counts