Where's Alpharius when you need him

i really hope guars are back in skyrim, they're my favorite animal besides horkers...

also i'm not posting any official oblivion concept art. that stuff was and still is terrible.

imperial city fanart. wasn't cyrodiil supposed to be covered in a dense rainforest with a grassy plains in the middle?

>the NPC had access to the in-game console command

they wat

>>15980491

http://fallingawkwardly.wordpress.com/2010/08/29/the-metaphysics-of-morrowind-part-1/

Sorry, but nothing about the Elder Scrolls series is /tg/ related. As much as it sucks to do so, take it to /v/. Reported.

>>15980551

Aren't guars native to Morrowind? Normal people who don't live in mushrooms use horses.

I read something somewhere that suggested that CHIM goes beyond access to the console, making the character realize he is a character in a game. It went on about Vivec causing drama in Morrowind to ensure he wouldn't be forgotten and possibly making a return to Morrowind possible someday in a future game. Someone can link to the text, I think it get's posted alot in these threads.

>>15980616

>>15980616
No fun allowed.

>>15980616
its a fantasy setting. we have a discussion about mithra from a mmo, star wars movie battle tactics, two pictures of armor threads, and "real life encounters" which is basically people telling silly stories to each other, all on the front page. lighten up a bit.

>>15980649
>>15980644
Nofun mind

>>15980616
http://tesroleplaying.pbworks.com/w/page/20608962/FrontPage

Go verily, ye naive, and thusly fuck thine self.

>>15980616
Elder scrolls SETTING you shitcunt, you are aware that there is an Elder scrolls RPG as well, or are you only familiar with xbox oblivion, console kiddy?

>>15980694
So as long as I claim that I want to discuss say, the Angry Birds SETTING, then its /tg/ related?

i don't understand the nine divine. they all look like human crusaders, but aren't they supposed to be aedra? like, godly figures?

>>15980706

>>15980694

>Brings console vs. PC war into the discussion.
>Not from /v/ at all, no sir.

Buy some dice, and learn how to read, Neanderthal.

Nice try, son.
Anyway, anyone care to link me this CHIM thing? How the fuck are NPCs supposed to be messin with the console?

>>15980631

>“Vivec put on his armor and stepped into a non-spatial space filling to capacity with mortal interaction and information, a canvas-less cartography of every single mind it has ever known, an event that had developed some semblance of a divine spark.” – 36 Lessons, Sermon 19

Read the 36 Sermons. Basically Vivec can access the construction set (he calls it the "Provisional House") and make mods for the game. Whenever he talks about the "Ruling King" he's really talking about the player. It's kind of like a lucid dream. Vivec knows that his reality is someone else's videogame, so he can break the laws of physics and delete people and all sorts of crazy shit.

It's a shame the actual plot in the games isn't nearly as interesting as Vivec's adventures in breaking the fourth wall.

>>15980622
i've heard them referenced in oblivion multiple times...

>>15980706

Oh, just stop. You know better than this shit.

>>15980735

>>15980615
http://fallingawkwardly.wordpress.com/2010/08/29/the-metaphysics-of-morrowind-part-1/
http://fallingawkwardly.wordpress.com/2010/08/29/the-metaphysics-of-morrowind-part-1/
http://fallingawkwardly.wordpress.com/2010/08/29/the-metaphysics-of-morrowind-part-1/

so i've been reading the in-game texts from the games (which are fantastic, by the way) and i've got a question...

are, uh, "milk fingers" what i think they are? or are they some literal thing?

it still shocks me that a man naked in his underwear with nothing but a silly sun hat is one of my favorite villains of all time.

>>15980754
they're dicks. vivec's mom was raped by a billion mermen dicks, they did not give her sweets.

>>15980604
It was in the guide to the empire that came with Redguard. Was supposed to be largely rainforest yes. large cultural differences between east and west too. And the Imperial City was stretched out across a load of islands, large bridges loaded with housing (much like London bridge and other major cities but with many bridges), a harbor for a large fleet, dragons, rice paddies, every available scrap of land teeming with life and a sort of roman/chinese/central american feel to the whole thing.

Essentially it was supposed to as diverse in it's sources as Morrowind was. A true hub of an Empire that spans a continent. A city big enough to fit a whole elderscrolls game in.

>>15980778
eh steals god's power, corrupts living things through disease and uses the contagion to spread his influence, undermines the tribunal's efforts to improve the quality of their homeland by forcing them to keep the ghostfence active, attempts to ressurect the numinidum, and doesn't afraid of anything

>>15980792
Looks like Oblivion got it better than the previous fluff then at least. Oblivion righted everything that was wrong with that shit game Morrowind.

>>15980786
what do you even farm netches for? i can't imagine their leather is profitable enough to warrant raising giant deadly jellyfish...

>>15980817
you best be joking

>>15980817

0/10

CHIM is not necessarily a console or construction set! Bear in mind, TES was a PnP rpg BEFORE it was a vidya, and the extent to which reality and myth blend in the TES setting suggests they intended it to be taken as something divine rather than lolhax.

http://www.imperial-library.info/content/daggerfall-real-barenziah-part-4

Required reading.

ITS TIME TO KICK SOME BRASS

YYYEAAHHH

>>15980706
>hes acting like a moron, what whould I do?

>>15980873
the real barenziah was great, though a bit... graphic.

my personal favorites are the one about the archer who never missed and the daedra who could never be hit, and the one about the dunmer who wanted to learn to breath underwater to obtain a sunken treasure he found. i can't remember the names of either...

and the lusty argonian maid, of course. best play ever written.

>>15980939

Most stories about thieves were pretty good, especially one about a thief girl teaming up with a strange big guy who kept saying the same things over and over. Nice twist at the end.

>>15980939
The Real Barenziah informed us that kajhit have barbed cocks, and that all Dunmer women are whores. Such in-depth world exploration is good for a setting.

However, it also involved barbed cat cocks and whorish blue women, making it a shit book. I'm purplexed.

anyone else having trouble uploading images?

>>15980491
>in /v/ all they do is post their naked characters or scream "viral" at any skyrim thread
Those are Oblivion/Skyrim threads. If you want a lore thread, make a Morrowind thread, you'll get a metric assload of lore discussion.

>>15980977

I think a developer said that only some of the Khajiit 'breeds' have the barbs. And was also really embarrassed when it was brought up. But yeah, the lady who wrote Real Barenziah also wrote King Edward, both of which have some crazy shit.

So... any modders here?

If so, what kind of mods do you think you will be working on to add stuff into the game?
Personally I'll probably going to attempt a trading mod, so far I've only modded minecraft but I'm getting a taste for fucking around with other people's games, much easier than actually having to make a game myself :)

>>15981037
I'm going to mod in the ability to make myself look like a beautiful buxom babe from one of my animes.

I mean, why do they keep making me choose between being a furry or an ugly Gaijin?

>>15981078
>This is the TES modding community nowadays
mgs4_love_theme.swf

>>15981124
No that's the userbase.

Make a mod with puppies that follow you around:
10 billion downloads and a fanbase.

Make a mod that adds political intrigue between cities and towns and the possibility for NPCs to fight for ownership of other towns:
BOOOOOOOORING!


Because the kids to aspie neckbeard ratio is very unfair for most games.

And by aspie neckbeard I mean a gentleman or lady who enjoys the finer things in virtual life of course.

>>15981160
>political intrigue
I never understood why people fap over this. I mean, like Mao said, political power grows from the barrel of a gun. You can't get political if there's a crossbow bolt where your eye used to be.

Is any particular providence known for having excellent mercenaries?

>>15980500
My Elder Scrolls sense is tingling. What do you need?

>>15981184
The Orcs of Daggerfall are well-known mercenaries. It's not a proper province, but Orsinium is one of the lesser kingdoms of Daggerfall. Orcrest in Elsweyr also hires out Orc mercenaries.

And here's an explanation I wrote about CHIM and Dragon Breaks, though the section about Dragon Breaks is somewhat misleading. It's not that time break and Akatosh fixes it. Well, it is, but that's not the whole picture. Akatosh is both the god of Time and Time itself, so when the Dragon Breaks, the Dragon, Akatosh, literally breaks. He tries to fix himself as best he can, but his Jills, the draconic minute-minders, do most of the fixing.

>>15981282
The fanciest.

>>15981231
Thats too bad, I was thinking of playing a very mercenary like character but Orcs? I just can't bring myself to play an Orc.

>>15981302
Well, you don't need to be an Orc. Since the dark elf homeland of Morrowind was destroyed, I imagine that there'd be plenty of Dunmer mercenaries.

>>15980706
Sure, I suppose. Discuss it in a thread else than this one, though, for I'd not see this thread derailed to that topic.

although I was not aware that Angry Birds had a setting.

>>15981306
I might try that, though I've always wondered why there's no dedicated hunters/trappers organization. That would be real fun, big game hunting with limitations on how it can be hunted! Finally a use for Bosmer other than stealing shit.

Speaking of Bosmer, their Green Pact. Do all Bosmer have to adhere to it, or do some just reject it if they're not in Valenwood?

>>15981320
Besides, TES has its own complete tabletop RPG now. It's unofficial, granted, but it's an RPG all the same.

http://www.mediafire.com/?tuy13t3ihyjojoc

>>15981355
The Green Pact applies only to Valenwood, as far as I can tell. While Bosmer are in the Valenwood, they all adhere to the Green Pact, but none seem to outside it. They cannot harm any plant in their home province, so they import lumber from Cyrodiil.

Which of Morrowind's Great Houses is the best? THE DEBATE BEGINS NOW.
Telva..Redoran here! House of the year, all years oh by the way I'm sexually obsessed with Guars!

>>15981414
...and before I knew it I'd begun planning out how to make a My Little Guary mod.

Will be streaming oblivion soon if I can get it to work windowed- Should be a laugh. Anyone up for it?

http://www.livestream.com/hyperbolicimagination forgot link D:

>>15981414
House Hlaalu! Don't know how to be a great trader then you don't know shit about running a Great House!

>>15981440
I'd watch, though the best streams are of people playing for the first time.

>>15981445
>>15981431
>>15981414
Allow me to frame the debate.

>>15981371
Similarly, they can't use their SHIT ENEMIES FUSE INTO AN ELDRITCH ABOMINATION TREE MONSTER powers outside Valenwood either.

Well I've got a shitton of great mods installed- Midas Magic, Deadly Reflex, MMM, Elsweyr, and some other stuffs too!

>>15981457
There was a good passage about that from A Dance in Fire:

A flash of white fire erupted from every crevice of the temple, and the moan of the Bosmeri prayer changed into something terrible and otherworldly. The climbing Cathay-Raht stopped and stared.

"Keirgo," it gasped. "The Wild Hunt."

It was as if a crack in reality had opened wide. A flood of horrific beasts, tentacled toads, insects of armor and spine, gelatinous serpents, vaporous beings with the face of gods, all poured forth from the great hollow tree, blind with fury. They tore the Khajiiti in front of the temple to pieces. All the other cats fled for the jungle, but as they did so, they began pulling on the ropes they carried. In a few seconds time, the entire village of Vindisi was boiling with the lunatic apparitions of the Wild Hunt.

Over the babbling, barking, howling horde, Scotti heard the Cyrodiils in hiding cry out as they were devoured. The Nord too was found and eaten, and both Bretons. The wizard had turned himself invisible, but the swarm did not rely on their sight. The tree the Cathay-Raht was in began to sway and rock from the impossible violence beneath it. Scotti looked at the Khajiiti's fear-struck eyes, and held out one of the cords of moss.

The cat's face showed its pitiful gratitude as it leapt for the vine. It didn't have time to entirely replace that expression when Scotti pulled back the cord, and watched it fall. The Hunt consumed it to the bone before it struck the ground.

>>15980888
i can't help but think of liberty prime whenever i think of the numidium. like i imagine him stomping thorough the land firing giant AoE fireballs at people saying terrible one liners about how great tiber sceptim is

>>15981272
I've always been impressed by your knowledge Alpharius, I'm not exactly a lore buff, but I do know a decent amount. However, that post of yours, I do love Dagoth Ur, and I remember someone badly explaining his deal? Mind giving a better explanation?

time to resume the fancy artses

>>15981371
>>15981355
Speaking of Bosmer and Valenwood, Dance in Fire is an amazing book.The part with the cannibal demon death orgy is nuts, and that twisted ending makes me grin.

>>15981500
There's a bit of that, yeah, but remember that Numidium was designed to destroy the world, while Tiber Septim used it merely to conquer the world. Wherever Numidium stepped, the Dragon broke. It conquered all of Summerset in a single hour, but that's only because it broke time in such a way as to allow it to siege Alinor from the end of the Merethic Era all the way into the Fifth. Numidium was a walking paradox that destroyed causality wherever it went.

>>15981004
Agreed. What /v/ can do is make good TESIII Morrowind threads.

>>15981445
Ah, but here's the twist: BuUL+RoHT.
For those of you who didn't just nod your heads thoughtfully, BuUL is a fusion of two major mods to the Telvanni Stronghold; Building Up Uvirith's Grave, and Uvirith's Legacy. The first of these is allows you to build a town slightly larger than Balmora around your Stronghold while the second massively expands your stronghold and rolls a few dozen questlines in for good measure.
RoHT on the other hand is Rise of House Telvanni. This one starts when you become Archmagister and allows you to bring the House into a Golden Age, doubling it's territory and insinuating itself into the very Heart of Imperial rule over Vvardenfell. Plus you get to bum around in Oblivion a bit.
Between those three Mods you've basically got the same amount of content we got with Bloodmoon, but all of it happening in good old Vvardenfell. It's easily the best mod work I've ever seen. Go get them right now.

i thought the gills were internal and they just breathes through their noses

>>15981524
I find that the three most-asked questions are about CHIM, Dagoth Ur, and why Argonians don't freeze to death in Skyrim. I only have saved boilerplate responses to two of those questions, unfortunately, but here's one of them.

if anything, the skyrim art looks fantastic.

>>15981543
If you're a really anal lore purist, though, you might want to go with simply Building Up Uvirith's Grave. Both Uvirith's Legacy and Rise of House Telvanni are amazing mods, but there are a few minor lore quibbles here and there. Nothing big, but enough to jostle you momentarily.

>>15981549
aren't argonians not direct lizards, like depending on what the hist decides of them they become different things? so like some would be warm blooded while others cold blooded, some lay eggs while others don't, etc?

>Prequel Pics
yes.jpg

Alpharius, have you looked into Andoran at all?

>>15981571
With all due respect, very few players have such a firm command of the Lore that it should be a concern.

>>15981414
Dwemer of course.
Dres and Telvanni are also up there.

by the way, how is that actual elder scrolls book that got published a few years ago? its like 8 bucks online, i may get it.

>>15981577
I have, but because I don't speak Russian I haven't been able to glean too much information. From what I can tell, they claim to be big on lore, and their mod is a "what-if" follow-up to the events of the Oblivion Crisis, specifically involving both Cyrodiil and Morrowind's efforts on an archipelago they made up specifically for the mod.

>>15981573
Pretty much, yeah. I'll get around to typing up a boilerplate response for that question eventually.

>>15981576
thats the only one i saved, sorry

>>15981543
Welp.
Time to reinstall.

>>15981589
It's okay, as long as you don't go in expecting great literature. I'd wait until the sequel is released in September because it ends really suddenly, and I'll have to re-read it to remind myself of all the little details. It really should have been released all at once, because the first one is pretty short.

>>15981608
RoHT: http://planetelderscrolls.gamespy.com/View.php?view=Mods.Detail&id=4449

BUUL: http://planetelderscrolls.gamespy.com/View.php?view=Mods.Detail&id=7736

I GOT YOUR BACK BRO

>>15981609
hrm

allrighty then

House Hlaalu has some the best land in the game, that beautiful coastline. Nice Hlaalu architecture, doesn't look like a huge insect shell, or a fancy mushroom.

>>15981590
Thats really the only thing I got as well.
http://www.livestream.com/hyperbolicimagination
stream is starting

>>15981629
You got something against huge insect shells and fancy mushrooms? 'cause them sounds like fighin' words.

Do you have steam or any sort of online gaming service Alpharius?

>>15981643
They're a bitch to move around inside.

>>15981629
>Nice Hlaalu architecture, doesn't look like a huge insect shell, or a fancy mushroom.
4/10. I snorted derisively.

>>15981640
see
>>15981549

>>15981645
I put my Steam identity in the e-mail field.

>>15981640
he was a bro of the neverar, neverar asked him to guard the heart of lorkhan, but then the tribunal decided to blow it up and he didn't he instead stole some of its power and rebelled, so neverar battled with him and killed him but died in the process.

the tribunal then also stole some of the heart's powers, but used it for good rather than for bad like dagoth did.

>>15981661
shit if forgot to art

>>15981625
Thank you, sir.
I don't suppose you also have a good rebalancing mod to make pure spellcaster a bit more friendly to someone who isn't that good at the game and would rather avoid alchemy exploitation?

>>15981643
Yeah I got a problem with them, those fancy mushrooms are impossible to navigate unless you got some magic and shit! Bug shells are bug shells, they're actually alright but fuck enjoy your constant sandstorms, blighted monsters and cliff racers EVERYWHERE.

>>15981672
Leveled Magicka and Fair Magicka Regen, I should think. They help fix the major problem, which is magicka management.

>>15981661
>used it for good
uh...

>>15981684
i mean vivec did. i dunno about the other two guys but vivec was alright.

>>15981681
Yep.
Also BTB's mod.

I am still sort of confused about Tyber's conquests.
How much truth is contained in the Arcturian Heresy? All that stuff about Septim using and betraying the Underking?

Man, i do hope Underking will feature in the Skyrim. He is one of the major players throughout

>>15981549
>myheadisfulloffuck.jpg

I need to replay. Anyone have a list of 'essential' mods?

>>15981688
BTB's mod is a framework I want to build off of, but I've never been much of a modder.

Plus, it + GCD and playing a non-mage altmer is like kicking yourself in the nuts repeatedly.

>>15981692
I haven't modded it in a while, but do look into Tamriel Rebuilt, Knots mods, darknuts textures, Morrowing code patch, and obviously Morrowind Graphics Extender

>>15981706
Eh, GCD isn't that good in the first place. There are better leveling mods.

>>15981692
>Man, i do hope Underking will feature in the Skyrim.

After what they did to the King of Worms in Oblivion?

i've downloaded "brorrorwind" off of rs which made the game hell pretty, but what i really wanted were like gameplay changes and more quests. any reccomendations for those kind of mods?

>>15981694
Also, UV Rcoks (or something with the name UV) it fixes Meshes and textures outside so they dont clip together or look wierd

>>15981724
>quest mods
Do you care about lore correctness?

>>15981724
Tamriel Rebuilt, definitely. It's unfinished, so if the landmass cutting of suddenly bothers you you might want to avoid it, but otherwise it's one of the best mods available, if not the best period. Also Greater Dwemer Ruins extends the last three dungeons of the game pretty dramatically and adds a bunch of traps, so it's pretty cool too.

>>15981724
Tamriel Rebuilt for sure, not totally sure of others

>>15981733
yea, i don't download anything i think is too conflicting with the game (no goddamn samurai kimonos or sephiroth wings or playable moogles etc)

>>15981722
erm... i need to think this through...

>>15981720
I think you and I have different definitions of what's "good", because you're using the opposite of the phrasing I would use. GCD is a mod I will not play without.

>>15981724
Great House Dagoth is pretty, uh, great. Lets you play the later parts of the main quest from the other side, and is quite close to lore as far as I can tell.
Unlike that other Sixth House mod, from what I've heard.

>>15981742
ooga booga booga!

>>15981761
He doesn't really looks like the moon

>>15981761
please don't remind us

>>15981761
Eh, it's clearly just the mortal form of the king of worms. The Warp in the West, remember?

>>15981741

alright.
My recommendations:
Tamriel Rebuilt
Annastia
The Glory Road
White Wolf of Lokken Mountain
Deus Ex Machina
The Dwemeri Secret
Ghostpath

Not all of these are lore friendly, but they still fit into the world mostly.

>>15981761
BETHESDAAAAAAA

>>15981755
I have only one problem with Great House Dagoth. One of the end quests, thankfully optional, requires you to gather 50! Ascended Sleeper souls. It's the worst quest I have ever encountered in any game. It's the most mind-bogglingly poor design. The rest of the mod is pretty good, and there's a compatibility patch with Greater Dwemer Ruins, but my god that quest sucks. Good think you don't have to do it.

Anyway, I've tried out Great House Dagoth and the Sixth House mod, and GHD is by far the superior choice, even after all my bitching.

>>15981761
Miss me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGUoRHqBgbo

If there is one thing I miss about the ES games is the Dwarves. I loved the bethesda take on Dwarves and have been hoping that they shimmy their way back into the lore.

>>15981863
>I loved the bethesda take on Dwarves

Extinct?

>>15981876
lold

>>15981876
I luld.

But no I liked how they were short xenophobic techno elves.

What levels should I tackle Bloodmoon and Tribunal at? Is it better to complete the main quest first? Also how do I get those assassins to stop trying to murder me in my sleep, I'm still getting trounced by Netch Hounds FFS

>>15981887
i thought they werent short, it was just that the giants called them "dwarves" and the name just kind of stuck?

>>15981784
>Deus Ex Machina
Seriously? I uninstalled almost immediately.

>>15981887
>Short
Nope.
They're about your height.

>>15981910
Why.

>>15980551
Someone say Guars?

and i'm pretty sure the only reason that the last survivng dwemer was short was because he was crippled with the corpus disease thing for quite a few years...

>>15981876
Actually I thought their magic self-genocide was pretty sick lorewise.

>>15981940
oh fuck its beautiful

is there a netch mod too because i'd just explode into treats if there war

>>15981922
After wandering around the dull, featureless void swarming with Imperfects for awhile I clipped through some shitty Statics and ended up Outside. This, to me, was indicative of some less-than-first-rate design. So I gtfo'd.

>>15981908
The thing with the giants is one explanation. The other is that it's a mistranslation. "Dwemer" means "deep elves", as in deep in thoughts or something, but some influential moron translated it as "short elves".

>>15981955
pretty sure it was accidental self genocide. like, the guy in charge of numidium telepathically told everyone to meld their minds or something, and it just totally backfired and they all vanished? because you can see piles of ash in beds and chairs and stuff in some dwemer ruins, they kind of just all died...

the problem with this is that a lot of the stuff is vauge and theres many sources online claiming to be correct, i have no idea who the heck is right or wrong

>>15981962
>Dull
>featureless
I take offense to that
Also you should've started the main quest back at Dagon Fel. And should've gotten the latest patch.

>>15981981
I'm still holding out for a massive dwarf revival thing in the future. Gentlemen...we need an elder scroll.

>>15981981
>Piles of ash
Oh god. I remember those.
Did you find the two piles of ash on a bed, next to a dwemer tube and a bottle of lubricant?

>>15981984
Well, it's been awhile since I tried it. Guess I'll take another crack.

>>15982003
Yeah, I actually went back and redid a crapload of stuff.

Elder Scrolls Episode VI: Return of the Dwemer.

>>15982011
cant see shit captain

>>15982031
You need a brighter screen then.

>>15982011
Oh shit that was your project? Sorry then, I didn't mean personal offense.

>>15982030
>cyborg dunmer
>I nerevar asked for this

>>15981998
BUT THEY'RE DEAD

>>15982034
It's true. This big ass TV isn't very good at bein bright.

>>15982030
...Love this...

>>15982037
Nah, I'm always open to criticism. Just as long as it's about the latest version.
Alpharius, Knots, and me are also doing another project, one that redoes Sotha Sil into a proper clockwork city.

>>15981981
The prevailing theory is that the Dwemer successfully melded to become Numidium, the Walks-Brass Tower, but failed to link it to its power source, the Heart of Lorkhan.

>>15980778

Fuckin Daggoth Ur, I went through the game completely used to sub par voice work then out of fucking no where his voice booms on the speakers. Biggest holy fuck what is having wonderful sex with my ear moment ever.

So, there is that one book - or rather, a book series, that is about an akaviri working behind emperor's throne to put himself into power, witches summoning mechrun dagon to nuke mourning hold and other stuff.
There, Morrowind is at war with the empire. How come?

I keep telling you, the Dwemer got Tang'd. Ash-Tang'd.

>>15982061
Holy shit I am intrigued. Does this project have a name, so I can find it later?

>>15982085
Yep, Expanded Sotha Sil

http://forums.bethsoft.com/index.php?/topic/1196263-wip-expanded-sotha-sil/


For reference on what we're doing, here's a screen of the original Hall of Delirium, without the mod.

>>15982096
And here's the new Hall of Delirium.
The Clockwork City is also added.
Like, the actual city. The one we never got to see because Almalexia is a dick

>>15982107
Don't fuck about, do you?

>>15982133
If it ain't big it ain't worth doing.

>>15982142
It ain't worth a thing if it ain't got that swing.

>>15982142
Speaking of dicks, eh?

>>15982203
Damn right.
Where's my Muatra mod anyways.

>>15982071
That'd be Last Year of the First Era, as I recall. The Cyrodiils were at war with the Dunmer because they were trying to conquer it. That's kinda why they're called Imperials. Because they create empires. At any rate, Morrowind has deposits of some of the rarest minerals on Nirn, notably Ebony and Glass, but they also have numerous diamond and adamantium mines. The mineral wealth of Morrowind is astounding, due primarily to Red Mountain and the Heart of Lorkhan. That's what Ebony is, really. Solidified lava mixed with the heartblood of a dead god.

So what exactly is the prophacy in the Elder Scrolls leading up to. I understand that the events of Marrowind setup the circumstance that caused the Oblivion Gates to open. I get that since the Empire has fallen and the Nords are in a civil war the dragons can make a comeback. But twhat happens after that?

>>15982290

see

>>15982030

>>15982290
dragon's have always been around
it's only recently that they've chosen to be seen

>>15982290
The Elder Scrolls don't go past that. Akatosh comes back and eats the world. That's the end. Presumably then a new tulsa is made. And Mehrunes Dagon gets his leaping back and becomes a good guy again.

One of the major things that pisses me off about Oblivion (besides everything everyone else hates it for) - if the Imperials are fantasy Romans, where the fuck is their Roman Armor? IT'S NON-EXISTANT! AND I CAN'T FIND ANY MODS TO PUT IT IN! AND I SUCK AT MODDING!

ARGARBL!

>>15982346

There's a mod that makes them have Master Chief armors!

>>15982346
That's one of the reasons I am looking forward to Skyrim, the return of Roman-like armor.

>>15982365
EXACTLY! Let's make mods that make them anime schoolgirls and shit that makes no sense, but god forbid anybody make one that actually DOES make sense!

I just wanted to play an veteran of the Legion that looked the part, damn it!

>>15982365
That's almost the same!

>>15982346
wait... if you have an empire you automatically become a roman with the culture and everything?

>>15982380
FINALLY!

>>15982395
>They Have Names Like Tiber Septim
>Talos
>NOT ROMANS AT ALL, NOPE.

They're romans with japanese/chinese influences.

>>15982414
Oh, I didn't know TES took place on earth, well guess that proved me wrong.
God forbid anything is not like historical earth, that would just be stupid.

>>15982441
how incredibly silly
one of the original authors who basically made TES what it is today described them as ancient romans with chinese influences. One of the main complaints with oblivion is that they were medieval european.

>>15982441
Play Morrowind, read a couple books, realize the guys are fucking romans.

>>15982441
Look at all the roads, man. Only one empire could build roads that fine, and its not any dumbass Elves.

>>15982471
>described
Key word.
They are not Romans with Chinese influences.
They are Imperials with Akaviri influences.

>>15982502
You're either a troll, or stupid as fuck.

To hell with it, you're both.

3/10.

The Imperial Soldiers in Oblivion had obvious Roman influences, what are you people talking about.

Right.

I've never played Morrowind. and I've got to fix that.

I'm one of the new blow ins that played Oblivion, saw Morrowind and thought, YES, and then saw a lets play of it and thought, ...OK, YES. YEAH.

And then kept watching and it was the interface that looked, to put it politely, dated and a bit frustrating.

Which version does /tg/ recommend? Play Addons too?

I don't really mind dated graphics, I'm willing to mod, but I'd prefer to play it without the lore being altered.

Opinions muchly, welcomed.

>>15982674
Same boat here, friend. I second this request.

Help us, /tg/, you're our only hope!

>>15982674
You and I are in the same boat, then. I started with Oblivion and worked my way backwards through the series. I recommend a close-to-vanilla run first to get the feel of the game, though others would disagree. That means you should install, in this order:

1. Morrowind
2. Bloodmoon
3. Bloodmoon Patch
4. Tribunal
5. Tribunal Patch
6. Unofficial Patch
7. Morrowind Code Patch

That install order guarantees the lowest number of bugs and glitches. I do have some advice for actually playing the game, though. You'll want to pick one melee weapon to have as a major skill, and you'll want to stick with it. That reduces your chances of missing. Second, you'll want to pick a ranged skill, which is either Marksman or Destruction. I recommend destruction, but whatever floats your boat. Third, save often and don't be afraid to run. Fourth, levitate in dungeons and look around carefully! The devs hid all sorts of unique treasures in random dungeons that can only be accessed with levitation. Fifth, early on in the main quest a character you meet will tell you that you're inexperienced, and that you should join a faction and do some quests first. Take his advice.

>>15982395

You become British if you have gunpowder and colonies, and become Holy Roman if you have gunpowder, zweihanders and fuckstupid clothes and grimdark.

Tamriel still has neither, and besides the Akaviri slapped their shit when Uriel V tried to conquer them.

>>15981670

So very pretty. Do you have more of the same pictures?

>>15982687
There's 2 of us. Thats like nearly double digits guys! :D

OK, some assumptions I have
1 - No chance play it on the xBox. No mod support / the joypad is... not fun. Not "the Morrowind experience"

2 - Bloodmoon and Tribunal are worthwhile, don't break mods or make them a pain to install etc, meaning the pictured PC GoTD edition is the one I wanna buy?

3 - Morrowind will run OK (if not pretty) without a graphics card.

Am I wrong on any of these?
>Y/N?

>>15982776
disregard this.

Alpharius was faster than I am!
>THANK YOU.

Babby's first GIMP project.

Is there an Oblivion mod that does away with level scaled enemies and shit without changing every other aspect of the game as well? OOO and so on do a very good job on the scaling but it's hardly Oblivion at that point. Also they're so large I can't get them to run properly (oh hello guards, I appear to have misplaced your textures).

>>15982716
OK.
I've read that, screencapped it and saved it as wisdom.png

I'm off to order it now :D

>One last question:
do I install and updates/patches/unoffical patches to Morrowind before I do any other installations?

>>15982792
This is where I do the cheesy extra bit of advice:

Sixth, have fun!

But really my sixth piece of advice is to read the in-game books and dialogue. You'd be surprised at how many people skip over that. My seventh piece of advice is have fun.

>>15982835
Francesco's is the alternative to OOO, and I believe it's a bit less wide-reaching in its changes.

>>15982836
Nope. You should do it in exactly the order I listed. You install Morrowind, then Bloodmoon, then the Bloodmoon patch, and so on and so forth. After you've gotten those seven steps out of the way, you can install other mods. Actually, Bethesda released a few mods of its own that you can download from their website. If you want, you can grab and install those, too, though you should do it after the seven steps. I recommend just getting the Master Index one, but you can get others too.

>>15982851
NO, U

> :D

>>15982823
Wow, a slow baby huh?

>>15982835
The problem with level system in Oblivion is that, say, a level 10 character has no chance, not even a virtual one, of beating a similarly-oriented level 20 character without exploiting AI glitches. Levels go from 1 to 50. The world is so small that a char with median Athletics can run from one end to the other in less than an hour. See where I'm going? Without level scaling, the game would be unplayable, as 90% of environment would be too strong for you, preventing exploration (or, more accurately, preventing you from peeking through a town gate).

Morrowind had leveled tables that only go from 1-20, but that's apparently impossible to do now.

>>15982917
The second problem is that they apply the leveling scheme with too wide a brush. Everything in the game levels automatically, and lower level things phase out in favor of higher level things. In Morrowind, advancing to a higher level just unlocks the next "tier", so to speak, without getting rid of those beneath. So you'll start to encounter Dremora Lords and Golden Saints in Daedric Shrines, but you can still encounter scamps and clannfears. Furthermore, placed monsters and items will always be the same, regardless of level. Those same four weak bandits will always be weak bandits, and that golden saint in Ald Daedroth will always be there, regardless of your level. It was leveled, but applied with a bit more subtlety.

>>15982954
AND the glass helm and spear will always be there in that shrine near Suran, free for the taking by any savvy bastard what can run fast.

That's my primary gripe with Oblivion (aside from everything else) - no fucking rewards for exploring. I will get the same benefits from revisiting a place that I know of instead of exploring new ones and risking with traps and glitches. Then came OOO and actually made that part even worse, because traps and new monsters can actually gib you and aren't worth tackling at all. I wish there was a mod that just made actually playing the game worth the time.

>>15982954

I'll never forget when I entered an Oblivion Gate in Kvatch looked around at the Stunted Scamps, decided I'd take a short holiday from the main storyline to do some thieving and side questing, and then, when later trying to tie loose ends up in Kvatch, discovered to my displease I was now every Clannfear's bitch, before the Daedroth could get me.

That was until I decided that the computer was now cheating, and Chameleon 100% was back on the cards.

Didn't feel good doing it, but I'll be damned if I was starting all over again.

Does anybody know ANYTHING abut the falmer?

>>15983032
Yes. Mankind first appeared in Skyrim, before being driven north to Atmora by the Falmer. Later, Ysgramor and his 500 Companions went to retake Skyrim from the Falmer and committed, essentially, genocide, driving them all the way to Solstheim before killing them off entirely. They were so impressed by the Falmer leader, however, that they afforded him a proper Nordic burial. Common superstition holds that there are still a few Falmer living in illusion-cloaked villages in Skyrim, and if anything goes wrong it's said that the Falmer did it by villagers. The Altmer annotator of the PGE First Edition notes that he saw a few Falmer runes while traveling in Skyrim, and that if there are any left, they're secretive in the extreme.

>>15983032
they're dead, jim

>>15983075
Ooo... Would be cool if we get to see some! Or would that make the "MUST BE LORE-ACCURATE" people shit bricks? I mean, it seems like it's just BEGGING for us to find a Hidden Elf Village.

>>15983189
If Bethesda was still good, we'd see them. As it is, we might get some super generic "Falmer Ruins" dungeons.

>>15983218
Pretty much what I'm counting on happening in Skyrim.

Now to reinstall Morrowind...

>>15983218
>>15983233
Or worse, we'll meet some "Falmer," but they'll just be Altmer with Frost Magic an the same voice actor.

God damn it.

I fucking love you, /tg/.

So...

/tg/ hates elves, and especially hates it when settings have thirty different kinds of elves (see D&D's Sea, Flying, Wood, Wild, High, Gold, Gray, etc. Elves).

But, we like TES, which is "Four Different Shades of Human, two furries, and 7 Different breeds of elf."

Don't get me wrong, I like TES as much as the next guy, it just seems interesting how different the feelings are.

>>15983245
Could bethesda be so cruel?

>>15983298
GODDAMNIT, my pet peeve is "/tg/ is a hive mind lol."

That being said, human subspecies are pretty badass, and anything that makes humans less the "generic average race" is a good thing.

Though if 30 subspecies for each race was the norm, it wouldn't be so bad, though I'd prefer it to be based off inclinations and environment, not genetics -- its already hard as fuck to have 40 different sapient species on one planet, let alone 30 subspecies for each.

>>15983245
Doubt it, actually. I mean yeah, the way they handled the different races in Oblivion was horrible, not even to mention the King of Worms, but from the Skyrim characters I've seen so far they've learned from that mistake. Dunmer looking awesome again? It's like they're actually trying to make me want to get the game.

Hey.
This is going to make me sound lazy and dumb, but I am a little lazy; so: Is there an article or something somewhere that I can read that will give me a briefing on the important bits of the Elder Scrolls lore and history? The shorter the better, but I do wan to be a little more familiar with the setting.

>>15983298
The multi-elf settings that /tg/ hates are settings wherein 1. the assorted elven races aren't unique or meaningful, it's just a planet of hats situation, and 2. the elves are unique in their diversity.
TES has Elves, Men, Argonians, and Khajiit. Elves and Men have a several different ethnic groups, each one of which is deep, unique, and interesting.

>>15983341
>Dunmer looking awesome again?
They look like arab caricatures.

>>15983354
No, sorry. There's too much to be covered quickly.

It's threads like these that make me happy to hang around /tg/.

>>15983387
Really?
There's no: "This is how the major religions are organized,'' and "here's the ancestry of the people who ruled the bitch?"

I'm not willing to play through the older games just to get the one up on the setting, they're too vast. Not because I'm some retro-game-hater; but they're just too long.

>>15983387
Looks like a Dunmer to me.

>>15983418
Myeah. Dunmer.

>>15983387
I like how people see one picture of an angry dunmer, and decide they ALL look like arab caricatures.

>>15983415
You should start with "A Brief History of the Empire" maybe, as well as the Pocket Guides.

http://www.imperial-library.info/

Educate yourself, I'm busy installing Morrowang again.

>>15983433
... I don't know if I could bring myself to kill that dog.

>>15983433
...is that a woman?

>>15983415
Read the in-game books; there aren't too many. Or, check out the wiki:

uesp.net

>ceillenc gauss
No, Captcha, the Necrons won't help here.

>>15983447
Yes, duh. Don't be that guy.

>>15983443
>Pocket Guides
These.
Although they do contain there share of subjectivity.

>>15983418
>>15983433
I like the weird "brow-ridge" thing; makes them seem more alien.

>>15983453
Everything about that face screams "MALE" to me.

>>15983189

It'll be DLC.

"Want to pretend they don't exist? Then why the heck did you download the DLC?"

OR they've something completely epic and we should all feel very, very bad for ever doubting them, and hang our heads in shame.

>>15983415
>This is how the major religions are organized
http://www.imperial-library.info/
Look at the religion and mythology section, in the sidebar in the left. It ain't brief.

>here's the ancestry of the people who ruled the bitch?
Lineage isn't that important, really. Uriel Septim was the last emperor. Tiber Septim, who mantled Talos, was the first and counquered the known world using the Numidium. It's unlikely that other emperors will matter any time in the foreseeable future.

>>15983298

The theory I'm going with?

>"Furry genocide simulator"

Best conspiracy ever. Unless you're a furry.

My apologies furries. Sorry.

>>15982365
Oooh, you Shas...o!

I always thought the Falmer were what those weird blue guys you fought in Bloodmoon used to be before they got corrupted/devolved?

>>15983649
I seem to recall that the possibility of the Rieklings being degenerate Falmer has neither been confirmed nor denied so far.

>>15983649
Speaking of unplayable races, what the FUCK are the Dr... CRABSQUIDMEN? Yes. Crabsquidmen. I wanna say Dreugr? What's the deal with them? I never saw any lore detailing them.

There should be a game or expansion about Akavir. Or just an Akaviri character.

>>15983726
Well, the Dreugh are Dreugh. That's probably all there is to say on the matter.
Although I do seem to recall that a couple of them appear in the Sermons of Vivec, but my power level is not high enough for those fucking books.

>>15983298
I'd argue that /tg/ hates elves done poorly more than anything else, and TES does elves right. Your stereotypical elf is snobbish to the point of bellicose, likes trees and magic, and are inexplicably a dying race. While the various kinds of elf in TES have one or two of these traits, no kind has all three and all have been subsumed into a greater, and noticeably human, Empire. The most stereotypical elves, the High Elves, were smashed apart so completely by Talos that the siege of Alinor lasted a single hour. TES takes common cliches and spins them, twists them, or subverts them entirely, leaving us with a set of elves that are still noticeably elvish without being awful.

>>15983903

The best thing imo is actually the Green Pact from the Woodelves - and the fact that it is an etiquette to eat every enemy after you killed him.

Tell me of four other elven Races that do this - tell me of one...

>>15983940
I can tell you of one.
Elves from Dwarf Fortress. Seriously, those guys ARE Bosmer. It's great.

>>15983903
SPIRITUAL LIEGE, what do you know of the Dreugr. Or crabsquidmen, whichever is more pleasing to your eyes.

>>15983903
Tiber Septim cheated by using Numidium.

>>15983827
>>15983760
The Dreugh are intelligent, and have cities underwater, and as a part of their life cycle they grow legs and walk on land for a year before returning to the sea. That's about it, really. There's some more obscure stuff about them in the Sermons, but it's not really worth mentioning as a serious part of their history.

>>15983964
Yeah, he cheated. But he still won, blew open Summerset to foreign occupation, and undid High Elven snobbery in a single fell swoop. It's a bit like that particularly unbearable strain of HFY you sometimes get.

>>15983998
They're still plenty snobbish. I can't quite say how many times an Altmer has reminded me that Imperials use their language and their architecture.

Still, what I've read of Alinor makes me want to go there. Badly.

>>15983976
Reminds me of the book left by a missing explorer you find who theorises the land ones are a distant less intelligent relative.

>>15984061
Well, alright. Lessened High Elven snobbery. Though it seems like it's back in full force, what with their conquest of Valenwood and their genocidal plans. Lot of genocide in TES, these days. 'course, that's probably what'd really happen with a bunch of different sentient races without a big liberal Empire with a big army making everyone play nice.

Is there any bit of fluff as to why their bows are also categorized into Iron and Steel? Or is that just gameplay?

CHIM is when an in game character realizes they are in a game. Really. The whole ES universe is a dream of a sleeping god, and souls are recycled in the Dreamsleave.

When someone achieves CHIM they realize that they are within that dream, that they don't actually exist and if they remain sane after realizing this, they can branch off into their own Dream, where they have god like power.

>>15984117
The Aldmeri Dominion was bound to come back and you know it.

And as for the genocide... Well, they practiced on unwanted (read: weak) babies.

>>15984132
See the boilerplate.
>>15981272

Hey, what's the best face mod for morrowang right now? Tarnsman's compiliation?

Wait if the Elder Scrolls universe is a dream, is the dreamer Anu? Then who is Sithis?

>>15984163
Isn't Sithis just the second law of thermodynamics?
Also, are there two Alpharii in this thread?

>>15984163
bullshit made up by a cult of bloodhorny nutjobs

>>15984163
The Dreamer isn't Anu, or Padomay, or Anuiel or Sithis or any one of their innumerable subsouls. It's just the godhead, and Anu and Padomay are two halves of his sleeping mind,

>>15984163
1. Even if it were true, that wouldn't matter.
2. it IS just a giant interwoven theory.

Another is that CHIM is directly related to sentience. Kinda like 'The One,' in the matrix; except that reality is the system and the machine is the god. Er... it's kinda the same, but calling all reality a "Dream,'' is a bit of a misnomer.

>>15984180
Well, either I'm crazy and talking to myself or there are more than one of us. It's always a mystery!

>>15984155
A lot of people seem to like Westly's Master Head Pack, but I don't know if that's the best one.

>>15984209
westly does a lot of good work
I've never used the master head pack, though

>>15984209
I was going to pick up Westly's in addition to a base replacer. For... science, and not waifu creation.

SHUT UP GUYS

>>15984243
If you want waifus, just get Oblivion and head on over to /v/. They'll more than happily set you up.

>>15984258
I've actually only been to /v/ once, and it was to troll them and their waifus.

Fun was had, as was a temp ban.

>>15984209
>>15984223
>Westly
Speaking of Westly, is it just me or is he basically pure pervert?

>>15984279
You know, they have the gall to title their Oblivion threads "Oblivion Mod/Quests/Lore/Waifus General". The sheer temerity. I've not encountered a more scandalous and shocking untruth. Once I actually went into one and tried to discuss lore as waifus rained around me, just to see if they would live up on their promise in the thread header. The conversation was somewhat one-sided, I was not surprised to find.

>>15984309
Those conversations usually are. It's not like they're going to sit there and debate metaphysics with you when they could pose their waifus.

>>15984281
I don't know. The only mod of his I've ever seen is the Master Head Pack, and none of it seemed too out-of-place, especially compared with Better Heads.

>>15984382
I'd already planned for that, and set the bar quite a bit lower. I thought that Pelinal, Alessia, and Morihous would interest them, their story being as gore-stained and full of bestiality as it is, but I was mistaken. Skyrim generals are surprisingly decent, though, if only because there aren't any waifu mods for it yet.

>>15984309
The Morrowind threads can be quite civilized, though.

>>15984281
He's got a few questionable mods, but the vast majority are normal.

>>15984413
I try to keep the skyrim threads at a low troll level by posting facts and sources to counter the hurr durr ruined the franchise people, tends to work.

>>15984413
I'll give it 3 hours before the first "female body replacer" mod is out

>>15984429
They got much better once SkyRimjob was banned. He was accounting for like 90% of the trolling himself, apparently.

>>15984383
He's got a host of mods, but I've only ever used the Master Head Pack.

Because Alazwhatever's Lamp had like 8 .rar files all packaged in ways that would make even Darknut spout furious rage.

it's old news, but did you guys hear about how connary flipped a shit and removed all his crap from the internet?
I'm sure we could find it somewhere

>>15984485
I haven't been following TES mods for ages, but I remember Connary. He was that texture pack guy, wasn't he?
What exactly caused him to flip said shit?

>>15984485
I have the .rar of all of his textures that someone here posted back when that happened. If no one posts a link, I'll upload it.

>>15984485
I just downloaded it. IIRC, he just removed it because he was updating it. It's on 4share, and if you google up BTB's morrowang mod list he's got links to it.

And to stay on the discussion, why do people get so buttpained?

>>15984485
It's on /rs/ I think. Just search Connary.

>>15984189
Man this whole dreamer stuff just throws everything I thought I knew about the Elder Scrolls out of the window.

Anyway Sithis is fucking awesome and I hope that I can be Dark Brotherhood in Skyrim. I also hope that I can learn Necromancy.

>>15984500
yea, he's got some of the best textures out there
here's the post:
http://forums.bethsoft.com/index.php?/topic/1162557-no-more-connarys-threads%C2%A1%C2%A1%C2%A1%C2%A1
/page__p__17073988#entry17073988
sorry that took so long
had to fuck around with bethsoft security breach

>>15984548
Sithis sucks and the Nine Divines suck.

Sheogorath is the only god worth worshipping. After all, he gives you PCP so awesome you were running around Cyrodiil thinking you were him.

>>15984582
excuse me while I laugh

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

It's slightly off-topic but does anyone know if they've fixed how magic levelling works in Skyrim? Compared to levelling sword & board and bows, magic took a damn long time and was way harder, unless you were casting Summon Goblin and such for hours at the time. Given the fairly idiotic attribute system (based on X points in Y skills), levelling a mage was hell if you wanted to do it while exploring in Oblivion (bonus points for unwillingly training Speed attribute because you MOVE). It just seems really counter-intuitive to design a levelling system where one general class has to more or less break the system (burn/heal self, summon goblin etc.) to train at an equal level to bow users and melee guys.

>>15984724
Uh what? I do not know about you but between Alteration, destruction, conjuration and restoration being major my wizard levels fine, I have not had to 'break the game'. Never set Alchemy as a major skill though or you will level up every time you make a large batch of potions.

>>15984582
the better a modder/texturer/artist/etc is, the higher the chance that he/she's a sensitive crybaby who can't handle criticism and overreacts over even slight complaints.

such is life in the internet.

> Get directed to the Pocket Guides
> read about High Elves
HOLY shit, who can have enough sympathy for these sociopathic fucks to play as one?

>>15984724
Also if you really want to level that way buy restore fatigue and summon bound dagger, both cheap as hell.

>>15984810
apparently, since Korana and a host of others have also made me laugh heartily

also holy shit 300 posts. /tg/ sure does love dem scrolls, it seems...

>>15984815
I know they enslave goblins but... I kill goblins on sight so I find it hard to feel sorry for the green bipedal vermin.

>>15984835
Unique ness is no small part of it, "Not Middle Earth + different art style,'' gets really old.

>>15984840
They kill their babies in persuit of perfection, and their names are more like numbers what sound like names to untrained ears.

also how the fuck do i morrowind combat

i've been playing for like a week and i still don't understand it... i charge all my attacks all the way before striking AND have full stamina yet i still get MISS MISS MISS MISS MISS HIT MISS REPEAT no matter what i do... i'm using a hammer if that's any influence on it, blunt skill at 45.

also, is there a way to enchant armor/weapons to have constant effects? i don't like the "casts on use" types of stuff, but thats all the mages guild offers me...

pic related is my face during combat

>>15984815
I can. I always play an Altmer.

>>15984868
> i don't like the "casts on use" types of stuff,
That's how enchantment works for weapons in TES.
Some buffs may be available, but mostly it's just "casts fire damage.''

should mods sticky this thread?

>>15984879
Do you know about their history, or are you just defaluting to the Elf?

>>15984868
Raising agility and weapon skill will increase your to-hit chance. It's rolled in this game, so you'll miss and shit.

As for enchanting, to get constant effect you need an ascended sleeper soul or golden saint soul, and you can change what kind of enchantment it is in the enchanting page when you're making it by clicking on it where it says "cast on use" "cast on strike" or "constant effect"

>>15984885
i know that about weapons, but i mean for armor. like constant +10% fire shield or something. stuff like that.

also oh no thread's autosaging

>>15984868
Use your racial power in tough fights, that'll help. And get some training in Blunt, too. You need around 50-60 skill to really start hitting with regularity. Constant Effect enchanting is really hard, and it needs either a Golden Saint soul, an Ascended Sleeper soul, or the soul of a god. Enchanted Cast on Strike effects are quite a bit easier, though.

>>15984911
Someone should start another soon.

>>15984917
>>15984901

ah

well, at least i have something to look forwards to.

>>15984921
NO

WE SHALL RIDE THIS ONE TO THE GATES OF OBLIVION ITSELF

>>15984944
(and then start another)

>>15984892
I've never read the Pocket Guides. Give me the short of it

>>15984815

Everything in the first edition pocket guide is possibly propaganda, and if not, is incredibly old anyway. So, they're not as bad these days, and in fact, the infanticide thing is in all but proven false..

>>15984954
... so should I just skip to the third edition then?

>>15984954
Is the infanticide proven false? Damn, I thought that was a neat thing to them. You know, being like Sparta, but on the seas and with magic.

Baby killers or not most Altmer seem to be smug dicks.

>>15984969
yes

>>15984980
>>15984954
It's not necessarily false. After all, the annotator is a high elf himself who dismisses several specious claims made throughout the pocket guide, but he noticeably fails to dismiss the infanticide. The implication is a grim one.

>>15984969
No. First Edition is Best Edition. They got rid of all the interesting stuff in the Third Edition, too. I mean, you should read both, because they're about 300 years apart so they're fairly different, but the first edition is just better written and more interesting.

Question, why are Dwemer artefacts called Dwarven if they were a type of elf.

>>15985044
because one day the dwemer met some giants and the giants called them dwarves and the name stuck

>>15985044
In many mythologies elves and dwarves are just two different kinds of fey.
The Elder Scrolls is one such setting.

how do i archive this thread on suptg?

>>15984634
this is how all TES threads are (though on the better side this time)
no need to archive

>>15985172
it already is
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15980491/

>>15985172
>>15985294
Yeah, there are a few pretty good lore threads on sup/tg/ already. Maybe when we get some new lore, we can archive, but we've been working with the same material for over two years.

>>15985312
>>15985299
Fuck. Welp, gonna dump some obscure material that hasn't been talked about in a prior thread so this one has something new to contribute:

These were the days of Hoag the Greater, born in a boot...[Long after] the two bells [of the All-Maker's Goat] rang out their clamouring, calling the end of days again in Sarthaal and the world, and Alduin's shadow was cast like carpetflame on east, west, south, and north...[he was] epoch eater. For as far as any man's eyes, only High Hrothgaar remained above the churning coils of dragon stop.

And Alduin said, "Ho ha ho."

But, look! Seven more mountains remained through Mereth like Hrothgaar and the Leaper Devil King (a kindly leaper demon, to be sure, but their king) jumped across the nilphony swirl. He came to Alduin (who always eats Nords first) and said, "Wait, wait, wait! Wait! It is not time to destroy the world yet!"

To which Alduin roared and laughed and said, "King of Leapers, you always bounce up to me around this time (for you are one of the only spirits that can last til my last bite) and shout, 'Wait!', but I never do and I will not now. Leap up to Hrothgaar's top and wait awhile longer in little dignity. The two bells have went 'Gong! Gong!' and that means the kalpa has turned."

The Leaper Demon King knew all this was true but still he said, "Wait, first and last of spirits, the kalpa-turning is brought too soon and I can prove it! Look over there on top of Red Mountain. See the Greedy Man waving his arms?"

>>15985338
Alduin swallowed more of Mereth (this was the destruction of Njorvela and Teed County) and looked over. Indeed the Greedy Man was waving his arms as if to tell the time-eating dragon to stop. Alduin snorted gruffly (a few farms shot out of his nose but he caught them with his tongue and pulled them back into his mouth, for he eats it all) and said, "And the Greedy Man always waves his arms about around this time as if to stop me just like you. It is almost as if you two work together to delay me. Is that what this is? Is some other low spirit hiding portions of the world while you two do this thing? Is this why the kalpa-feast always takes a little longer than it did the previous time?"

And then Alduin looked hard into the eyes of both the Greedy Man (far away) and the Leaper Demon King (close up), one of them for each eye of his own, and he knew it was so. These two spirits gulped big, and were caught.

"Oh crap," the Greedy Man said, "He knows my bargain with the king of leapers, I'd better hide under my mountain!" but he thought and said all this too fast and, without thinking, hid under his mountain even though its base had already been eaten and so it wasn't all still there. (This is how the Greedy Man became trapped both in and outside of kalpas.)

"Oh crap," said the Leaper Demon King, "You have found us out, World-Eater! Yes, just after the two bells of the All-Maker's Goat sound the Greedy Man and I and our servants hoard bits and bobs of the world so you can't eat it all. And when the world comes back we sort of just stick these portions back on and so that's why it is all bigger and bigger for you to eat each time. But it wasn't my idea! The Greedy Man hates you so much and it was his idea to finally trap you one kalpa when it was all much too big and so you would explode out from your belly and die so that the world would never have to die again!"

>>15985345
And the Leaper Demon King saw a possible way out of this mess for himself but he nodded too eagerly, saying "Yes, yes, yes! Yes!" and the dragon knew that any mercy he might give to this little demon would not result in any true learning. So he cursed the king of the leapers, calling him Dagon, saying:

"The Greedy Man has already f*cked himself up good, hiding inside something that didn't exist anymore, but you: you I curse right here and right now! I take away your ability to jump and jump and jump and doom you to [the void] where you will not be able to leave except for auspicious days long between one and another and even so only through hard, hard work. And it will be this way, my little corner cutter, until you have destroyed all that in the world which you have stolen from earlier kalpas, which is to say probably never at all!"

Dagon (no longer a Leaper Demon King) screamed, "Please no! We have stolen from you so much and crammed it all back on in the craziest of places that it will take forever for me to regain my jumping kind of happiness! Especially if I can only come back to this world through auspicious days long between one and another that also require rituals! I beg you not to do this, O Aka! I beg you one hundred thousand and eight times!"

>>15985350
Dagon did as he said, begging Alduin Time-Eater to reverse his decision one hundred thousand and eight times, and halfway through this number Dagon shut his eyes tight to really mean it and then three-quarters through this number he began to shout his beggings to really, really, really mean it, but when he was done begging Alduin was not near the mountaintop he stood on.

In fact, after many looks east, west, south, and north, and seeing only the churning dragon stop around him, Dagon realied that at some point when he was begging with his eyes closed that Alduin had eaten him, mountaintop and all, and he had not heard the big chomp because he had been begging too loud. And he knew that the last world had been eaten entirely, except for its stolen portions, and that when the new kalpa began to form The Greedy Man (who never stayed trapped for long) would begin sticking these stolen portions back on in the craziest of places, and that he himself could never jump again until all was put back right.

He also knew that the name of "Dagon" would no longer be that of a kindly leaper demon but one who would destroy and destroy and destroy whenever he could find some small escape [from his home in the oblivion]....

>>15985360
...[after] many nights, the destruction of Sarthaal finally saw fit to stop in its burning and the snows were happier. [Ysgrim] shook his head, saying to his thanes and war-wives, "And once it is buried again, who will remember its halls and mighty sights, like the fountain of voices or the tusk-house where Jarl the Tongue shot from his mother's womb yelling profanities that only adults should know? Who would stop the snows?" (For no one can stop the snows.)

And so his Host moved east and north and east again, a long traveling, and passing Hrol'Dan (the first one) there was an idea that came to Herkel the Shield-Fed. "Lord, I have thought of an idea that might keep our memory of Sarthaal and its mighty sights alive, and not only in song. Would it suit your purpose, though we can never rebuild it, that if a Nord could say a small prayer then the gods would reveal the city in its former glory?"

Now Herkel [had] never been a Clever Man, so Ysgrim looked at him cockeyed. What Herkel was saying was magic talk but sometimes ideas grow where there has never been soil before. (This is a gift of Kyne called [inspiration].)

Finally, Ysgrim said, "You may speak, Herkel, and we shall listen."

And now all the shield-thanes and war-wives were looking at Herkel, for all of them would indeed like to see lost Sarthaal again and its mighty sights, if only by an illusion brought by prayer. So Herkel began:

>>15985368
"Well, Sarthaal was destroyed all right, the elves made sure of that!" (Here everyone present made the customary curses.) "And even though I threw up ancient shields from my gut like hurling discs that killed their first rank and Eriksdotter here danced the icicle-curtain dance and killed their second rank and Broga here mountain-farted and killed their third and fourth ranks (that was funny) and Vjevaka here rolled auspicious numbers on rune bones and killed their fifth rank and Haljor here... [at this point Herkel recites a deed for each of the "six hundred and some odd" Nordic warriors that were assembled]... and you, my king, even though you killed by yourself the five-thousandth rank with Olendrung, even after all of these things, the elves still kept coming! And, yes, we lost in the end and that losing cost of our dearest of cities and this is how come we are freezing our asses off on this long traveling...."

Now at this point, Herkel the Shield-Fed had talked so long that he needed to stop. It was a [great thing] that he had talked so long at all in all the cold, but his belly was on fire [from even just reciting all their deeds], and so he was able to almost complete his thought. But look! The other Nords had frozen to death while he was talking. (This is why it is now polite to interrupt whenever you are cold.)

"Oh crap!" Herkel said, "I have talked so long I have killed all of my fighting friends and even my king! [They were] bound by oaths to hear me out and now the destruction of Sarthaal is truly complete! Oh, I am a fool to think myself a Clever Man full of magic talk! See what talking too much does?"

But sure enough Dagon (who had heard his name) showed up and that old Lord of Misrule laughed and said, "What a grand, grand f**k up you are, Herkel Shield-Fed! See now, you have done what whole endless legions of elves could not, and by that I mean to destroy utterly the Host of Hoary King Ysgrim!"

>>15985378
And Herkel began to weep and supplicated himself before Lord Dagon, saying, "O Ruler of the Firestorm and the Howling Winds, O Gigantic Prince of All Things Harmful, O Dagon the Wicked One Who...hey, wait a minute! How are you even here? This is not one of your summoning days!"

And Dagon laughed again, saying, "No sh*t, Herkel, but all that bloodletting and fire at Sarthaal was enough for me [to pierce the veil of the oblivion]! All that whispering into elvish ears sure did the trick!"

Herkel Shield-Fed now looked at Dagon cockeyed and said, "Wait, it was you who sent that horde of elves who, though pierced to their five-thousandth rank, would not be stopped?" to which Dagon responded, "Of course! Though it was easy, as they hated you anyway, but yes, yes, it was I who stoked the fire in grim dreams and mirrors, which has only now saw fit to stop burning! Oh well, now I'm off to enjoy my stay! Who knows how long I have before Alduin notices that I've escaped his trap again?"

But while Dagon had been saying all this, Herkel had broken [the hammer] Olendrung off of frozen Ysgrim's belt. And filled with renewed anger he struck the Lord of Misrule upside the head. Dagon fell over into the snow with a great flumph, unconscious. And Herkel was about to bash the devil's brains out when he thought: "Wait a minute! Killing the kings of [the void] never really lasts forever and I'm not sure if even Olendrung could do more than knock him out! Oh, Dagon will be so mad when he wakes up and destroy even more now! I must find a way to get out of this mess! What can I, a fool as can be determined by recent events, do now to put two and two together?"

>>15985378
What is this from?

>>15985386
He prayed to Alduin the dragon of time, who was the greatest enemy of men, for he ate the world everytime he woke up. But Herkel knew that Dagon was a greater enemy to the dragon, so he put that in his prayer, saying, "Mighty time-eater, I am Herkel the Fool, and I am truly a fool. But I fought bravely at the fall of Sarthaal which lay now at my feet, as does the one responsible for its destruction. I do not ask you to wake up, Alduin, for that would ruin more than Dagon will (and that's a lot now that I keep hitting his head)! And I do not ask you to bring my fighting friends and king back to life, for that is the province of your brother and even I'm not foolish enough to ask all that! And I do not ask you to turn back time, for that is against the laws of all the gods! But I do ask you for a little help, even though...." (And here he kept praying.)

And Dagon woke up with a hideous headache to look down on Sarthaal and look! It was not destroyed at all! There were its mighty sights, its halls, its fountain of voices, and the tusk-house of Jarl the Tongue! And arrayed before it was the Host of Hoary Ysgrim all lined up for war!

"Oh crap!" Dagon said, shaking his hurt, hurt head, "I have come too early, for the destruction of Sarthaal has not occured, for I see the army of King Ysgrim waiting for the elves that I am sending. What could I be thinking, to come before the veils are pierced? Even the laws of trickery would not help me if I did that!"

>>15985397
So Dagon vanished back to his prison [in the void]. And, with him, so did the glamour of old Sarthaal vanish, for it had been brought only by a prayer of Herkel the Fool, who stood among the frozen warriors lined up as if for battle. His plan had worked, though it did little to comfort him, and he said goodbye to his fighting friends and his king and as the snow came in to bury Sarthaal forever, Herkel climbed the steps of High Hrothgaar, where he became at last a Clever Man.

(And this is why sometimes if you pray hard enough, you can still see Sarthaal outside of only memory and in its fullest glory.)

>>15985389
Michael Kirkbride, the guy who wrote for Redguard, Morrowind, Knights of the Nine, and the Shivering Isles occasionally posts new snippets of texts on the lore forums over at Bethesda. This is some new Nord lore in anticipation of Skyrim, though none of the texts will make it into the game.

>>15985401
These were the days of Reddotter, who surpassed her father in shield-biting...

[And it came to pass that] a strange thing happened: Alduin the World-Eater, who sleeps between the [kalpas], had a disturbing dream, and he roused slightly, but not enough to bring ruin, and, heavy-lidded, he went back to the [age-wait]. But he yawned just slightly beforeso, which he had never done. And thus was born the Dirt Patch Which Does Not Gather Snow.

Now this place cannot be found on any map of Skyrim, and not because we Nords are shoddy in our cartography (we crossed the Cape of Tears, after all, and marked the passages, which even the Devils in the east use still)…for you see, it is a thing that should not be, a small world-destruction that is more hiccup than intent, and so the Dirt Patch moves about, which caused all manner of trouble (and everyone knows that story) until Fjork Beard-to-Toes of Throat Mountain used a [voice spell] to contain its jumping around mainly to the west.

(Which still sometimes causes trouble for the farmers of the Reachmen, ha ha ha.)

Anyway, after many years, and like all things, some animal life decided that they liked to live best of all in a particular place at the expense of all other places, and some chose the Dirt Patch, and these were birds. (Who can tell why birds do anything?) We do not know where they came from, but came they did, and always, always they managed to find the Dirt Patch and make their homes in it, burrowing down deep in its soft earth, where they made their nests…. (This is not normal bird behavior, I know, but who can tell why birds do anything?) [Only] to get up and out and fly again when the Dirt Patch vanished to go find it once more. (This is why when you see a dirtbird flying north you turn south.)

>>15985415
Now one day one of the Dumbest Things Ever happened: the Dirt Patch ended up in the sky! Right over a mountain range! (No one can remember exactly where, but it happened.) And the dirtbirds made for it anyway, and began to dig their nests down into the hovering earth, only to fall out with consternation before flying up and around the Dirt Patch [to try again]. Pretty soon they found that they just could not build their nests (and one would think that something that makes no sense, like a big stretch of dirt in the sky, would even be recognized as nonsensical by animals that really make no sense, like birds, but there you have it) and they began a’chirping away all as one in a terrible and irritating lament.

So of course they attracted the snow whales.

>>15985421
Snow whales have been in Skyrim since [the return of Man], living at the tops of the highest mountains, singing in magic tones, jumping from peak to cloud and back again, spreading their joy-snow in horn-like triumph from blowholes. We used to hunt them, our best climbers braving the rocks and ice-sheets, carrying rope and hooked spears. They had much meat, these whales, and blubber, and fluids that made paint and rosewater for our women. The earliest hunters had no luck; spouts of joy-snow [from the whales above] would drift down from the clouds and turn the men goofy. They would laugh like happy babes, some getting so tickled that they’d roll back down the mountainside in big flumphs—which only begat more guffaws-- or begin to pat each other on the back or hug in the masculine style to reaffirm their affections and camaraderie; in essence, the joy-snow got in their heads and they just forgot what they were doing. Eventually, Huggert the Wrinkled Unto Unreadable, one of our Clever Men, made sure that the hunters remembered to occasionally hit one another out of the blue, or make lewd jokes of their respective wives or mothers or sons that had not yet shown promise, and steal and hide the shoes of their fellows, and to line the rims of their shields with wasabi so that, when they bit them, that they might ignore all happiness in fits of burning nose and choked throat. All of these measures availed them not, for the potency of the joy of the snow whales remained [unhindered by any attempt at anger], and its powder would inevitably reduce our hunters again to snickering children, who, when they saw themselves so war-laden in this state, made them chortle and jest all the more.

>>15985426
Lesson learned. We left the snow whales alone.

The dirtbirds, though, in their present bothersome sorrow, all trilling and chak chak chak, brought a herd of snow whales up and out of the mountain peaks, looking to see what the fuss was about. They were as surprised as anyone to find a plain of earth suspended in the sky, and soil–breasted birds flitting amok in hysterical despair all around it.

"Holy crap," one said, "I have never seen something this dumb." And thus the snow whales crooned to each another in their way, and some, driven to pity, spat great gales of joy at the dirtbirds to remove their dirge. But just as the Dirt Patch had been misenchanted to gather no snow, so were the fowl that had inherited it similarly immune. The feathered raucous went unabated.

One of the snow whales, a young bull that had only recently grown his mottles, jumped from summit to cloud and back again, twirling so that both of his eyes might see this unholy mess of things. And he snorted, and he remarked, "What we see here, my kin, is no doubt the insalubrious work of the Dagon."

Now one of the dirtbirds, a young maiden, heard this declaration and took pause from her horrible wailing and flew to the great eye of the bull and said, "What now is this about the Lord of Tumult and Foul Tempers, who is known far and wide as the mucker-upper of all things in this world, and whose treachery runs even unto the sons and daughters of the Tava?" (Tava is a heathen god. Of birds, no less.) But the bull whale splashed into the ice-covered precipice of the nearest mountain, ignoring her. However, since ice is harder than snow, the wide fan of his tail stuck out for a second longer than normal, and, unanswered, the dirtbird dived down and grabbed it with her beak. And this is how she followed the snow whale into [the oblivion].

>>15985441
The Clever Men say the realms of [the oblivion] are many, though some [limit] this number to sixteen. And there is not one that can count the endless avenues that run from one realm to another, for they change, and often, for they are as capricious in their natures as the demons that run through or rule them. Nevertheless, there is a strand to Coldharbour, which is the province of Molag Bal, and most icy beasts have touched or traveled it once, if only in nightmare, and it is perhaps by this and the will of the Gods that the snow whale navigated himself through the void that lay beyond the real world, the dirtbird behind him clamping her beak down hard and her shutting her eyes tight to the visions of evil around her.

[Thus it was that] the young bull made his way to the frozen court of the King of Rape, crushing up through the very fountain of Bal's courtyard, shattering the lewd ice sculptures that crowned it in the coldest of lusts. And before the soldiers could [muster a defense against] the snow whale, a brassy sound regaled through the court and covered it all in a fog of joy, which set them all to laughing, and it was hideous to hear. And by this sound did Molag Bal deign to rise from his throne and enter the courtyard, to confront the audacity of the bull of the northern clouds. "And just what the **** do you want?" he asked.

>>15985453
The bull eyed the Prince, and gave a bow as the older cows taught him, and started to say, "Mighty Lion of Evening, Vulgar and Low, Keeper of Coldharbour since the fall of Lyg, Destroyer of the Hearts of Men, I have come to--" but he was interrupted by the chirping and relentless admonishment of his stowaway, who had left his tail and flown directly into the Prince’s face. The dirtbird maiden’s angry diatribe is [too heinous and nasty] to even repeat here, but more or less she said, “"ne of your **** kin evidently **** our **** Dirt Patch, which is the only **** place where my people can build their **** nests and since it’s floating in the **** sky that’s **** impossible now, see, and so we cannot lay our **** eggs this season because of such an unnatural **** calamity and so we’ve been forced to wail and **** wail, you ****!"

To which the snow whale assented was the truth, adding only, "Which is, of course, annoying as hell to the rest of us up there."

The King of Rape took pause. It had been eons since anyone had spoken to him this way, and it had never, ever been a bird of all things. Bal thought for a second, and finally frowned, shrugging. "Well, first of all, what the **** is a Dirt Patch?"

And by turns the snow whale and the dirtbird told the story, and its details, and in his magnificence did Molag Bal know that this was indeed the dream-work of Mehrunes Dagon, his brother of razors, the only Prince who dared trouble the sleep of the dragon-eater, Alduin. But while loyalty between the rulers of [the oblivion] is tenuous, Bal saw no profit in upsetting the ways of his brother, and told his visitors so, adding a threat of terrible censure on them if they did not turn back immediately and without further insult. The dirtbird remained unsatisfied and (remember that birds make no sense) began to peck furiously at the Prince’s head, rebuking him and all his kind and the mischief they wrought.

>>15985458
Perhaps the snow whale misinterpreted this foolishness for bravery, or perhaps he admired that the dirtbird had come unbidden into the realms of the damned, or maybe it was an admixture of the two with a smidgen of the fondness that all flying things share for one another, but the bull knew that, at this point, he loved the foul-mouthed, unclean, imprudent dirtbird with all of his considerable heart. Before the King of Rape could swat her dead, he trumpeted the courtyard again with joy powder, hoping to send Molag Bal into a handicap of bliss so that they both might escape.

"Ho ho ho," Molag Bal roared, smiling, though none of it with joy. His aspect became so fierce that even the dirtbird maiden stopped pecking at his head, and she flew behind the bulk of the snow whale in sudden fright. The Prince of Coldharbour spoke: "You silly little snow whale, do you not know that there can be no joy for me? That long ago I gave up such things to the betterment of my rage? And while I recognize love between creatures that are unalike, I have built a bulwark against its joy and--"

"Wait wait wait," the dirtbird interrupted. "What’s all this about love between creatures unalike?" And if a snow whale could blush, [that is surely what] the bull did now. Even Molag Bal was taken aback, for he was sure in his heart that any maiden that would follow a man into hell did so only by token of love. For her part, the dirtbird left her hiding place and flew back into the demon prince’s face.

"Huh?" he said, blinking. "You two aren’t an item?"

>>15985465
"I’m a DIRTBIRD, genius," she answered, "And he’s a **** SNOW WHALE, get it? This isn’t above love, it’s about not being able to lay eggs in a floating stretch of earth, and it’s about your brother being a complete **** who needs to make things right. Or else."

To which the King of Rape merely raised an opulent eyebrow.

The snow whale cleared his throat [in earnest]. "Or else..." he started, unsure of himself. "... or else I will gather all of my kin," and at this he found his courage, "All of them, down to the last newborn cow, from all the mountaintops of Skyrim, and the clouds above it, and from every opening of snow there is in that land, and we will leave it. Forever."

Which was a confusing thing to Molag Bal, a Prince of Misrule, whose hatred was as bellows in his belly, and who had long since kept his delight of any form of joy under lock and key. And even the dirtbird turned from him to look on the bull, and she, too, simply did not get it.

Bal spoke, "And what would that matter to me?"

Now the soldiers of the Prince of Coldharbour had shaken off their fits of laughter, and took up their pikes again, and remembered their stations and their vileness, and they surrounded the fountain that the bull used as his threshold. And the snow whale’s blowhole was empty, leaving him defenseless to their approach, and maybe one could read this in his eyes, for Molag Bal began to smile wickedly, and the dirtbird gulped with fear.

>>15985468
"It matters to you," the bull said, "Mighty Lion of Evening, Vulgar and Low, Keeper of Coldharbour since the fall of Lyg, Destroyer of the Hearts of Men... it matters to you because my kin bring joy to the upper world, who have not yet given up such a thing for the betterment of their rage, and who welcome love and happiness and good cheer… as much as they fear the coming of ruin, or the color of betrayal, or the visitations of demons. These last are the tools of [the oblivion], and your lifeblood, and it is only through joy that the devices of your dubious employ are the more sweeter to you, yet which are nothing if visited upon those who know nothing but despair in the first place. It matters to you, Lord Bal, for how can you destroy the hearts of men when those hearts are already empty?"

And, with that, the snow whale sank back into the fountain from whence he came, but he left the wide fin of his tail up out of it for a second longer than normal. And the dirtbird took it within her beak.

When they returned to Skyrim, bursting out of the zenith snow, the snow whale and the dirtbird were met with only silence. Their kin were gone, both kinds, and with them, the noise of crooning and the cacophony of bird-lament. But the maiden felt the tug of the Dirt Patch in her senses, and she sensed that it was southward, and low, and she knew that things had been more or less put back right. She let go of the bull’s tail and flew up to his eye. "It has worked," she said, "Bal has talked sense into his brother, the Dagon. I can feel it in my breast."

>>15985474
"I suppose so," the bull said, "And I can hear my herd jumping this way through mountaintop and blue." And perhaps when she knew that the snow whale would soon be gone, having rejoined his kin, and perhaps because he had shown her a courage that was unalike as hers but as powerful, or maybe it was an admixture of the two with a smidgen of the fondness that all flying things share for one another, but the dirbird knew that, at this point, she loved the noble, unwieldy, ridiculous snow whale with all of her tiny heart.

"Where I live the snow cannot gather," she said in the lowest of voices. To which the bull nodded, and said, "And there is, of course, the difference in size." And, at that they smiled, and flew away from one another, and were welcomed back by their kin in songs of praise.

(And this is why when you see a dirtbird heading north that you stop... and look up at the sky before turning south. Sometimes, if you are lucky, you can see him, the bull of the northern clouds, looking for her, the maiden beloved of Tava, a heathen god that we begrudgingly admit is all right from time to time.)

>if anyone wants, I can post the last Fight, but otherwise I'll stop. We're well into the 350s at this point so you can make inane comments, too. We're riding this thread down to page 15, and fast.

>>15985489
>'course, by down to 15 and fast, I mean we're still on 5.

These [were the days] of Anna Kuhlsdotter, who once led her cloud-sisters into victorious war against the Skald of Broken Books....

And of the Giants we speak little, even less to strangers, for their history is hidden in long loud power-shouts. At home, it is a pain in the ass to tell their stories and then clean all the things knocked down in the telling... and in a foreign hearth it is [just plain rude]. So we speak of them (for we must-- who does not honor their parents?) under the rim of the sky or, here, written on sheafs of pelt, for such is the mettle of their threat. This is [a song (or dirge, manuscript unclear)], then, of the threat of Giants and, like most, it involves painted cows.

[First, though] let us put two Powers in place, the Dragon and the Dagon, for this is also and foremost a Fight of Theirs Story [so such is proper]... [text lost]... the only one to have occurred on the Demon King's birthday. (No, that inglorious day-month will not be revealed here for it is dangerous and, yes, once, a very long time ago-- ONCE-- we were all tricked into celebrating it in a very big sissy-fuss where we were made to wear special hats.)

Dagon [it can be surmised] found some indefatigable lady-man wizard from the west to love him from [topside(?)] and thus-by work very, very hard in his witch-craft... [the demon lord] making warlock promises and whispering rewards of the unspeakable and mighty... appearing through shade or familiar in guises too small for the Dragon to notice that he was not in his entirety in [the oblivion] where he had been banished beforetimes... and perhaps happy (because birthdays ARE happy) and infectious with it enough to engender great industry, yet profane still in aspect to retain his stature among the eyes of the wicked from whence his followers always come (when they do not come from fools instead).

>>15985605
[And the warlock-in-love]... [text lost]... made a mad dance of it all as in the manner of the magic arts of the west [and] summoned his infernal master on this very auspicious day through crazed and love-wrought wizardry [that went beyond the mandate] of right summonings... whereupon the Dagon popped out of a blueberry pie.

"I didn't think that would work AT ALL!" he said, that old Lord of Misrule, and he began to praise the baker's craft in such great cackle and length that [the warlock he had taken as paramour] became jealous in the way of wolf-headed women (you know the ones).

"Pssh," Dagon said, "I, the Lord of Razors and Red-drink, King of Terrible Intent, Mehrunes the Prince of Four Dooms and One Paradise, I Who Commandeth 88 Legions Daedric... I just came out of a PIE, you swooning harpy! That is totally bat-*** insane!"

Whereafter he bit out the neck of the spurned warlock and played in the blood.

(This is why all bakeries in our village make "Shake the Dagon Out" part of their flour-whistling.)

Now the Dragon's role here is more subtle, and existed really only in the fear of a little farm girl in the highlands of Newkreath. For who does not fear Alduin the World Eater, and especially children, who always think they are the last to come for they are the newest to be? (And children, BEING special, perhaps are right and maybe it is only through their fears that [this kalpa] still survives, so we will not question it.)

Anyhow, her name was Aless (her father was fond of the South, and Ald Cyrod, and knew the stories of their famous and ancient Queen), and she had such a fear that any day now the Dragon would awake to eat up everything she ever knew that she became determined to do all she could [to protect it]. Naturally, she began to paint many, many cows.

>>15985616
Here is why: the Giants came from Old Atmora, up there across the Northern Ice back in the gone-to-twilight-now age of myth... and settled here in the Skyrim, and all along the mountain ranges of our coasts. (Yes, they are our true ancestors-- do not believe your aunt from the university-- and, yes, we were once as big as them-- as tall as THIS-- but that is another story)... [text lost]... and after [the Great Calamity] happened [the clan-things (peoples? tribes? Text seems to indicate mankind as a whole, though that is debateable)]... we were of a kind disrupted... and we Nords fell into fighting and drove our Giant-kin up unto the mountaintops [and we were a wicked-folk for many years]... [until all] things had changed forever. Once the Moot resumed [(unspecified) years later] things got back to a new semblance of normalcy and borders were redrawn and agreed with in beer-talk, and raidings of the merethlands took everyone's mind off old feuds, and pretty soon (well, not pretty soon but whatever) the Giants began to come down from the mountains again. And they were a bit different than we Nords remembered, or perhaps we had forgotten much, but they would not speak to us anymore-- they would only smile in their lazy way, stomp over, and take our stuff.

>>15985618
If we fought them, they roared louder than the Tongues of High Hrothgar, and brave steads would be blasted whole into so much paste, [chickens and all (?)]... [and] eventually we learned that if we left stuff out for the Giants, and painted this stuff brightly and with swirls (they love swirls) and stuck big signs up pointing to it all, they would simply take THAT stuff and not anything else and no fighting would be have to be done (not that what I have described was really fighting-- no one fights the Giants is the point). And that explains the Painting The Cows tradition, for as lazily-smiled as they are, so much that they seem that they wouldn't hurt a soul (ha!), the Giants eat meat and lots of it. Aless (remember her still?) thought to herself, "I am so, so afraid the Dragon will awake and eat the world-- ANY DAY NOW-- that I will paint every cow I see so as to summon all the Giants I can to beat up old Scaly Face, and beat him up really, really hard-- hard enough to knock him out and back to sleep!" (Aless had heard, as you have now, that "no one fights the Giants" and took it a little bit too much to heart.)

She began with her stead's herd, some four-dozens strong [with] two bulls (the old one broken off in a separate cattle-gate to stomp out his last days in complaint-- and Aless made her father swear not to kill this old bull for she loved him in the way children love the things others see as useless or spent) ...and yet by the seventh cow Aless had run out of paint. "I shouldn't have done so many swirls," she said, sighing. And that is when he appeared, the Dagon, drawn up in the stolen Nordskin of a Clever Man, come from the west by side-stepping [through the real].

>>15985622
"No," he said through his impressive bead-knit beard, "You did well. If I were a giant, these would be mighty fine looking cows to take. But why paint so many? [One a season per stead] is the norm."

Aless frowned up at Dagon-turned-Clever, and with no suspicion, for she was a child and they are taught to respect our [magic-men]. "Because I hate the Dragon," she admitted, immediately fearing admonishment. (It is not very wise to talk ill of Alduin at any time, especially in the presence of the Very, Very Wise.) She corrected herself: "Well, more like I hate the fear of him. I'm sorry for saying the thing before."

"Hmm," Dagon said, "Your fear is well-founded. The Time Eater comes soon."

"WHAT I SO KNEW IT" Aless said, grabbing her paint buckets and brushes [in a scramble], intent on going back to her hearth to get her play-dolls and kid-shields to sell them for more supplies. "I gotta go, mister, I need to summon the Giants REAL FAST and A BUNCH."

"Child," Dagon laughed, "You will never paint so many as that, given your little power. But, aye, your plan is a good one. Many Giants, really fast. Yes. That's smart. Now come with me. Kyne--" and at this name of the Sacred, the demon almost choked, "--she lends me the winds and I can walk us from one to another. And Tsun--" and at this Name Dagon finally did choke, coughing harshly but hiding it as age, "--he grants my craft-wit with provisions from the aether. You will have all the paint you need, and be swift enough to swirl every cow from here to Windhelm."

>>15985630
"That is SO cool!" Aless said, jumping. But by speaking of so many Gods [and the Heavenly Halls in which they live], Dagon had brought a horrible scratch to his throat. He coughed again, and at length, finally doubling over. Aless frowned again, this time with what looked like pity, and put her hand on his back. "You okay, mister? I believe you about all your magic, but maybe you should just rest. I can sell my play-dolls and get paint and just, like, run fast--"

"I'm fine, dear," Dagon said, waving her off, too harshly, and then [realizing he was frightful] found a composure, "And I am sorry myself for scaring you just then. It is only because I can feel the Age turning, and so am sick with the impending death of the World."

"Um," Aless said. "You're still being scary."

"Then paint the rest of these and let us move. You are brave, and worthy, but cannot run so fast as we need. We have cows to swirl and Giants to bring down from the mountains. Through their might only can we make the Dragon retreat back into slumber and thereby save all that we know." And soon then did the Dagon and the girl step into a wind [and disappear].

[Now] it can be guessed that Dagon was a lying sack of ****-- the Dragon wasn't coming at all and would be asleep til...[text lost]...which is far from now. But the Lord of Razors has ever hated the North, for it was here that he was born (after a fashion), and it was here he was cursed, and so on this, his birthday, he had determined that he would destroy all of the Skyrim and all the Nords in it. He indeed needed his little cow-painter to draw down the Giants (or maybe it only amused him to use one of our own, we cannot say), and so he [played her fear] for a fouler purpose: he knew that so many Giants come down from the mountains would cause the High King to think it war, and muster. And any war with the Old Fathers would undo us.

>>15985635
Now Dagon-as-Clever did as he said, wind'ng Aless from stead to stead, watching over her as she painted the cows at each, summoning [snow-fogs to hide her quickened labors], from Newkreath to Gant and the Uttering Hills of Jarlmung County, filling her buckets [in fast conjurations] and even blessing each cow in Kyne's name alongside her, coughing each time. By the 400th cow, his beard was hack-stuck [with sickness]. By the 650th cow, he would speak no more names wrought by the Gods. And it was by the 700th cow that the Dagon noticed that Aless was painting the swirls [in a different fashion], to which she explained, "Each county has a different Lookit Me Stamp," and frowning at him she asked, "But you know that, right?"

"Oh, right, right, indeed," he said, "Blame my ailment and our hasty mission. It has left me with a perplextion of the brain. Stamp away!" to which Aless smiled, "No problem, I'm getting tired, too. There, seven hundred and fifty-two! How many do you think we'll need?"

"At least nine hundred and ten," Dagon said, "That is a lucky number." (This is true.) And then they vanished [into the wind] again, coming out into Windhelm, fortress-lands of the High King. "We'd better hurry here," Dagon advised.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why hurry here? You mean more than seven hundred and fifty-two cows in five hours hurry?"

"Um," Dagon said, feigning more sickness, "Because these are the king's cows and we have not the Special Royal Cow Painting Permits, nor the time to explain [the turning of the Age]. The Dragon is coming too soon for parley such as that."

And just as she started swirling these new cows (under cover of snow-curtains and in the shadow of the Thaneswall) Aless asked, "But why doesn't the High King know this already? Doesn't he have Clevermen advisors and Witching Wives to tell him? And the Queen, doesn't she have that six-pair of Scrying Eyestalks of Old Man Mora?"

>>15985641
"Who knows the way of kings and queens, little farm girl," Dagon countered, beginning to lose his temper and seeing now this always-questioning Aless as a turkey-leg in his stomach. But no, he thought, I can wait. [I can wait.]

Aless shrugged, painting the cows in what Dagon assumed was [the manner] of Windhelm now, and saying only, "I guess you're right, mister. But I'm named after a queen, a really pretty one, the books say." And [at this] Aless spoke of South Cyrod and its tales of mereth-kill by Men and heroes sent by the Gods, and Dagon's head began to swim with it, wind to wind and herd to herd in the Windhelmlands with the girl always talking and talking, for the demon hated the [lands of the Aleshut-tribes] nearly as much as our own but for different reasons, and just as he was about to let loose his rage (for that was his Base Nature), Aless spoke up, giggling with victory, "Nine hundred and ten with paint to spare!"

At which point, Dagon thought the deed to be done, and he began to grow fangs behind his beard.

"Holy crap!" Aless said, looking at her paint-covered dress. "We totally forgot the signs!"

"Huh?"

"In all of this crazy fast painting, mister, we forgot to stick up the Look Over Here signs! The Giants won't know to come! We really screwed this up!"

Dagon slid his fangs back in, for what she spoke was [true]. He sighed, "Yes. The signs. Totally forgot them. Crap."

"Tell you what," Aless said, "Take me back home. We can grab the signs I've made there and you can Tsun-them-up and make more and zip everywhere we've been to everywhere ELSE we've been putting them all up. And meanwhile I'll paint ONE MORE COW to make it nine hundred and ELEVEN. That's gotta be luckier than lucky, right?"

>>15985651
Dagon-as-Clever now frowned, for he wanted war soon, and said, "I suppose so. Really, what's one more cow going to hurt?" And [they stepped back] through the wind to Aless' own stead, whereupon she ran to the sign-sheds and retrieved as many as she could carry, dumping them nearly on Dagon's foot. Oh by the sixteen hells I'm going to eat this dumb girl, he thought, with WASABI! But he picked up the Look Over Heres and multiplied them unto a bigger bundle, shouldering them all.

"Night is falling fast, mister, you better hurry!"

And Dagon faded into the winds, dizzy with his plannings and smirkings and thinkings, stamping sign after sign at each herd of cows from Newkreath to Windhelm and all the places between, wishing himself another warlock-bite for all this trouble, finally growing out his four arms to make the goings-on faster, wind-step to sign-post, dreaming of [a tide] of Giants come down from the peaks of Skyrim to blast the Northmen away for all time, and time it was he lost track of, until he finally arrived back at the stead of Aless the Dragon Hater.

"Hi," she said, seeing Dagon's true form, "You totally forgot we painted every cow here at the beginning of all of this, you big dummy. So I painted this old bull instead."

And it was true, Aless had taken from its cattle-gate the bull she had begged her father not to kill and to which her father had agreed, and instead of swirls, she had painted [wings on it]. Before the Dagon's eyes this bull [transformed itself as in the manner of god-guiser magic] into Mor, the Bull of the South, Son-of-Kyne, and demiprince of All Winds.

Mor snorted through the hoop of his nose-ring and greeted the [King of Razors]. "Hello, Dagon. The prayers of children very seldom go unnoticed."

>>15985657
Aless said, "That means me."

Mor continued: "You are trespassing outside your mandated day of summoning, Lord Daedroth. Heaven is not happy of it."

Aless smiled and lifted up one finger, "One, you're NEVER supposed to badmouth Alduin in front of a Clever Man. And YOU didn't berate me." She lifted up a second. "Two, you can't even speak the names of the Gods without choking, and every Clever Man has wind enough in his throat to revere them without censure, involuntary or not." Three fingers, now four; five, and six with a second hand. "Then of course the swirls, which we Nords paint the same no matter whichever clan we belong to, because the Giants speak only ONE language and it's in our best interest to talk straight with them. I could mention several others, but you've guessed them all: the spell you suffered at the mention of my ancient namesake, whose story I peppered with sayings that are supposed to be repeated by any that are near as in the hymnal halls, and the Eyestalks of Say What Huh? that don't even EXIST which you just nodded your fake Clever head to, and--"

"I think, little namesake," Mor bellowed, "That he gets the point."

Dagon was fuming now, snow melting around his new-wrought hooves, stretching up and out into demon-skin, red like terror, ebon-armed and frothing. Aless stood her ground. Mor stamped twice, an [approval and a threat].

>>15985663
"You would have made my beloved proud with your courage," the Bull said to Aless, and to Dagon: "Stand down, Demon King, and go down. You will not win this day, even though it is crowned with the power of your first coming."

"WHAT NOW," Dagon roared, sending them both back with a [bellows-fire], "YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME, MORIHAUS HALF-SPIRIT! THE DAGON FIGHTS NOT THE SONS OF HEAVEN'S CONCUBINES BUT HEAVEN'S KING ITSELF."

"Yeah, sure," Aless giggled, "And how does that work out for you? Every single fight you have with the Dragon ends up with you losing, King Chump. And it will always be like that. Here, there, then, now, or in the future: the Dragon wins over you, as he wins over us all. I'm not afraid of that anymore. More importantly, I'm not afraid of YOU."

Dagon stepped forward, crackling now [with flame and old woe]. Mor bent his horns to the ready. Aless stayed where she was.

"I wouldn't do that, mister" she said. "Those swirls that I started painting as soon as we went a-wind'ng? They weren't Giant-Come-Shiny Swirls but hearth-warnings... that YOU were here. In the language of each clan, on all the cows they're looking at RIGHT NOW since you put all those signs up. That you're here-- right here, right where I asked you to return. I think pretty soon you'll start to hear the horns. And even you can't take on all the Sons and Daughters of Kyne, you *******."

>>15985671
And that's when they did hear [the horns of all clans], and the closest was as like a stormsong of thundernachs, for Mor was near, and he [was the issue of the Greater Sky]. And Dagon knew that where the horn soundings landed, the Tongues of High Hrothgar could step, and, when together, the greybeards could breathe unto being the ghost of Shor, which lay all Powers low [even in half-death].

"A curse on the house of Alessia," Dagon muttered before summoning himself a Gate to [the oblivion], for he knew his works were all undone, "And eight more on the Men of the Dragon. There will be an hour when--"

Aless leaned against her bull.

"Hey, Coughy," she said, "Shut up and go already. It's way past my bedtime."

And he did, missing the arrival of the hosts of Hrothgar and Newkreath, and the runners of nearby [Hjaalmarch], and, of course, the thanes of Aless' own stead, which included her father, all of which saw the farm girl in her messy dress leaning against the [Bull of Heaven], glorified in story and song since the days of our first dawn, and all afit for battle and confused [that it would not be met] and more still overcome with the blessings of the Skyrim by the Gods we hold aloft.

To which Aless could only answer: "It's a really long story, guys."

>that's the last of them. The thread'll still be up for a few hours, and there's always sup/tg/.

I love you, Alpharius (no homo).

>>15983955
Except Bosmer import lumber but don't export it, while DF elves export it but don't import, and in fact go to extremes to limit their allies from chopping trees, because the elves want monopoly.