They put her on a really scary Roller Coaster.

They tried to kill Illithids by telling her logical paradoxes and then throwing her into a room full of them, like an idiot grenade.

When they didn't have a crowbar they told her to bite down really hard and tense EVERYTHING.

She was left at the Aboleth day care.

For a pet, her parents got her a baby rust monster.

rolled 21, 26, 52 = 99

While adventuring in the mountains, they left her at base camp.

She then went on an adventure with wolves

"Here, fight this endless army of goblins while we open the door."
Vaguely remembering she's along but assuming she's a hireling.
Encouraging her to acquire templates for the power boost.
Accidentally killing her boyfriends when they weren't a standard race.

Her parents decided to use a "Wish" spell to get a babysitter.
They got a demon that actually sat on babies.
They didn't give a shit.

>>16171044
Man, FUCK firefox remembering the last shit I put in the e-mail field. Shit gets annoying sometimes.

They told her that she couldn't date anyone who was 'Unoptimized."

>>16171044
This is actually the backstory of one of my other characters.

Keep it coming guys, this is all really great stuff.

They were at their max carrying comp, So they opted to leave you at the top of an evil wizards tower (since everything was dead after all) while they carried all the goods back to the nearest city. They gave you the wizards dead familiar to snuggle with though and left you a rather large bowl of milk.

They were once told by a devil to give it "Their Child or their Life."

They trusted her to find her way home from hell and took him up on it.

Well, definitely malnutrition from the diet of nothing but hardtack, jerky, and foragings for her entire childhood.
Genocide is her default solution to any real or perceived conflict with other beings, sapient or not.

When they angered a paladin, they held her out like a shield, shouting "Can't touch her or you'll faaaaaaaaall".

Her mother was the tank. Being pregnant didn't stop her from blocking with "Her most useless part of her body at the time."

>>16171081
Seconded.

Her nose has obviously been broken several times and set properly none of those times.

Routinely used as betting material inside taverns.

They were once reduced to almost 0 hitpoints in the middle of the dungeon. They used charm monster on a local gribbly to act as a babysitter.

They then forgot to actually pick her up for another month or two.

To this day, they vaguely remember this halfling rogue that used to run with them, but they can't remember her name.

Also, trapfinder, door-holder, and switch puller.

She was kidnapped by a wizard. Upon waiting a full two months after his letter was magically delivered, he decided to adopt her as his own child in pity.

The loving and happy home was immediately busted into and destroyed by her adventuring parents a week later after they heard of the wizard through a plot hook NPC.

They debated for a full hour over whether or not to bring her back with them, stating that she might have gone "Feral."

This poor child...

>>16171056
It's standard issue in 4chan actually. Doesn't have anything to do with your browser.

>>16171172
She grows up to be a Chaotic Neutral Gunslinger. She ran away from these parents just because they're such assholes.

They used her as a pack animal, on the logic that "Hey, she crawls on 4 legs, and quadrupeds have GREAT carrying capacity."

>>16171159
He became a lich, and she visits him every year.
They share stories, go to the theatre, and act like the most loving father and daughter you could ever have.

Chainmail footie pajamas.

>>16171214
>chainmail
Fuck that, go plate.

Upon being abducted by a [insert monster here], she drove it to suicide through her stories of "What my parents forgot to do."

She has never celebrated a birthday.

She has several burn-scars on her hands from when her parents tried to get her to set up a peasant railgun.

>>16171212
Don't make me cry man.

I like the concept.

don't go too obvious, or it lacks the fun and impact.
Rather, you have plenty of stories, shared occasionally, that make people wonder afterwards, which, when put all together start to paint a horrific picture. Kids often grow up seeing some of these things as normal, which can really make other people cringe. That's what you should go for.

"It'll singe a little but like daddy always said; better a friendly fireball than a cryohydra's teeth!"

"We should be careful with these hallways. I still remember this one time when I got lost and there was this sliding panel... I was holding the torch in a place almost just like this one, and they only found me on their third trip from dragging the loot to town."

The parents should be viewed in a generally positive light, with the stories implying they thought something her size OBVIOUSLY would be just as capable as all those thieving halflings. They're of course happy to find her again when they do, but were treating her like a low level partymember (instead of a 0-level child) a good decade before they should have.

There are several small sized monsters out there with wigs that fervently believe they're actually a human girl with two "Really great parents."

>>16171250
Or he can go through the over-the-top route.

Alter her morality to reflect the fact that she was raised by players instead of parents.

NPCs are expendable and can be ignored once the plothook has been discovered, there's ALWAYS a hidden room. The little village ALWAYS has a dark secret.

Make her overly paranoid when she shouldn't be, and without fear when she should be crapping her pants and running.

Etc, etc.

>>16171280
See, if you do that just a bit wrong, it'll seem like you're in fact failing to play a role and just min-maxing your way through an adventure.

But if you're ok with surprising your group with character depth out of nowhere if they call you on it, it might work.

Can instantly split loot 4 or 5 ways, knows the proper price for any number of sundries, and probably has a better grasp of practical applications of magic than some of the practitioners.

There seems to be a theme with her getting kidnapped...

>>16171319
Welcome to /tg/. Enjoy your stay.

If you've read the comic NextWave, think Elsa Bloodstone's flashbacks to monster-hunter training.

If you haven't read the comic NextWave, go buy it and read it. Whatever the fuck else you have planned can wait.

>>16171319
After a black dragon kidnapped her for ransom, he allowed her to toil with the kobolds and not be eaten.

From her time before being rescued, she has an adorably poorly made kobold doll.

>>16171445
It took almost six months for them to realise she was missing.
On the other hand, she now speaks perfect draconic.

Make her Genre Savvy even if she hated her parents.

Ridiculously so.

So much that she never forsees stuff not going exactly like an adventuring quest.

>>16171488
ALWAYS gets the money.
None of this 'doing it for the publicity' or 'angling for goodwill' crap.
If the mayor promises 50 gold to clean out the goblins, there had better fucking be 50 gold when she gets back. Preferably 25 up front and 25 on completion.

>>16171339
I do fucking agree. Yes, even you manga-exclusive faggots. Go read Nextwave.

>>16171553
Already planning this. At the start of the campaign she's a highwayman.

She has a near-encyclopedic knowledge of monsters. Hell, she even memorizes their stats.

>>16171704
Also probably a bit nicer to them, as a form of rebellion.
Instead of killing the carrion crawler, just lead it away with rotten meat to another place it would be more at home in.

>>16171881
Makes sense. I bet the orcs who fed her bacon, cheese, and bread to make her taste better to eat were better to her than her parents.

So she is sometimes nicer to monsters she isn't being paid to kill.

What were her parents' classes?

She has scars all over her palms from holding backup weapons by the blade so that they can be passed to the parents hilt-first. Since you can hand someone an item as a free action (witness: peasant railgun) it's just like having Quick Draw without paying the feat tax.

>>16172047

Should be a rogue and a wizard. The rogue tests out her traps, the wizard tests out his spells.

haven't thought of it yet

>>16170996
Sounds like a female version of Rusty Venture

>>16172132
imokaywiththis.jpg

Come to think of it, a show that's basically The Venture Brothers in a fantasy setting would be pretty damn awesome.

>>16172047
>>16172127
Referring to the classes

This is shaping up pretty well. There is a lot of kidnapping though. Maybe less of that? I don't want her to just be abducted constantly.

Come to think of it, a genre-savvy D&D campaign would be pretty damn funny. It would be like the the Venture Brothers, but with dice and more swordfights.

>>16172296
Maybe have the occasional just abandonment, and having to survive there?
Less kidnapping and more 'left behind and grabbed as possible bargaining chip'.
Or she might just get along well with the dungeon denizens.

>>16172394
>Or she might just get along well with the dungeon denizens.

I vote for this. She has a huge cultural knowledge base because she's had friendly relations with pretty much everything that lives in a dungeon. Red dragon? She ended up an honorary cleric of Tiamat for her cooking skills. Orcs? She ended up with a pet Warg and a set of child-sized hide armor. Illithids? She cleaned their laboratories for them and learned how to play chess REALLY well. Beholder? She ended up holding up books so he could read them.

>>16172104
Rogue and a wizard? Bit of a weird combination.

>>16172503
More of this, definitely.

>>16172503
Yeah, the DM wants me to keep it subtle.

Wow, it was halfway into this thread before somebody pointed out the Rusty Venture parallel?

Still some great ideas in this thread, all pointing to the same conclusion. She idolizes her parents, but anyone who actually gets the history would be horrified. She is also fond of her other daddies and mommies and babysitters and has monstrous (in both senses of the word) social skills. She absolutely refuses to admit that she is damaged in any way. That would reflect badly on mommy and daddy who were perfect if frequently absent in her eyes.

Unlike most adventurers who torque themselves up with all that good and evil crap she's sophisticated. Dungeons are ecosystems that sustain themselves with rules that she understands, but no surface-dweller could. She also understands that capable adventurers serve as floods and fires, clearing out space for later occupation. Bad adventurers, which are much more common, serve as fertilizer. That won't happen with her on the team, but her cheerful acceptance of horrific shit should give other party members cause for concern.

>>16172989
well, children pick up languages faster then adults, so make sure she has a smattering of almost everything. At the least her parents language, the local "trade" language and 2 others, like goblinese and draconic.

Some rogue skills, from all the times being coached through "ok honey, you lifted up the latch? now slowly turn the bolt.. good.. good" disarming traps while hanging upside down in an airshaft on a rope.

Would have to grow up strong. Any strength feats or bonuses?

And for some reason i can't get past the idea of her having a large (giant on her) scabbard normally strapped to her back, the handle of mommy or daddie's longsword sticking over her hear.

Instances of neglect.. Go with plenty of those scars, stories of being used as a mini-packmule or doing boring tasks like separating all the copper and silver out of the big sack of gold coins in the dragon's keep while parents fight in the next room.

>>16173104
Sounds like a Factotum to me.

There had better be a chance to tenderize her parents somewhere in the campaign. They need to have some sense beaten into them, plus it'd be an interesting encounter.

>>16173164
Fighting adventurers who have been adventuring since well before anyone in your group was born? Perfect plan.

Can calculate the worth of a pile of gold by looking at it for a few seconds.
Also, drop some ranks in appraise.
Possibly have an experimental phase, where she took up potion testing duties, or went on a spree of dangerous stuff to get stronger to please parents.

>>16173079
Well, she ran away in her late teens. In a fit of rebellion she kind of decided to strike out on her own...it hasn't been going well for her. She tried to be a bard for a bit but that didn't work out, since no one believed her stories. She tried a bunch of other jobs to much the same end. She's pretty desperate now, so she's capitalizing on some of those things the bandits taught her. The idea is that as she adventures she mends things up with her parents.

>>16173186

And they're gonna metagame the fuck out of you.

>>16173212

Who says you can't metagame back?

At a sufficiently Epic tier, of course.

>>16173186
Smart man.

>>16173164
>>There had better be a chance to tenderize her parents somewhere in the campaign.

If you go down far enough into any dungeon they all connect to the Underdark. Yes, even the the old castle basement you cleared out at first level. It was behind a secret door. They all connect and word spreads.

OP's parent's were the Avengers, John Steed and Emma Peel. Or James Bond and Ellen Ripley. Two hardcore badasses. They toppled kingdoms and the ramifications of their delvings are still being dealt with on multiple plains of existence.

Are you going to be the one to mess with their kid? Admittedly most of the aunties and uncles that she was dropped with had only a vague inkling, but they knew that this was a child with some strong ju-ju. Hence her exposure to dungeon culture, which was mostly old hat to her, she was picking locks at age five.

Surface dwellers think of all beneath their feet as horrible beings, but monsters have families. Cruel families to be sure, but it is a cruel environment. Foundlings from the surface being adopted below are not unknown. They rarely survive the harsh environment, but native mortality rates are high as well. OP's character however was trained from birth and saw the tests of survival as fun games that reminded her of how her absent parents used to play with her.

To tie back to the original quote, the parents sort of knew that their kid wouldn't be killed outright and were confident she could handle a few days (ok, months, that last quest took awhile) in dungeon daycare.

>>They need to have some sense beaten into them, plus it'd be an interesting encounter.

Oh you meant that? Beating up a senior citizen who OP's character adores? Bad form.

>>16171151
fukken lol

>>16173202
Assuming basic golarion, where are the guns from?
Has she been revisiting some of her monster surrogates?
Assuming the parents are unaware of her disappearance for a bit, what happens when they assume she's been kidnapped and head out after her?
Also, might communicate through letters, they'd know how to get them anywhere and back.
Also, uncomfortable hiding when they show up in the same town by accident and are monopolising the common room.

For that matter, NEVER STAYING IN HOUSES, INNS EVERYWHERE

>>16173399
Custom setting actually. Given the responses in this thread I'm thinking that the Wizard or the Illithid came up with the plans, and she helped make it--hence why it's a really shitty musket.
I'd assume she keeps contact with whatever monsters are still alive. Her parents probably killed quite a few of her aunties and uncles, which gives her more reason to run away.
What happens when they come after her? Plot, my good anon.
And yeah, was thinking that she knows every barmaid in every town by name.

>>16173510
If her parents killed her aunties and uncles that would be a disincentive for future care. Assuming she came out of her abandonment with nothing more than a few curable wounds, a smattering of native language and a few ranks in knowledge?

Her caretakers would find themselves rewarded beyond their wildest dreams. An entire bag of +1 swords! Silver pieces! Wands of wonder!

Complete trash that wasn't worth selling as far as her parents were concerned, but treasures to her caretakers. As she and her parents leveled up along with her aunties and uncles the equation held pretty steady and word spread that if you ever found a human child wandering alone in a dungeon, or one showed up with your chief obviously charmed and claiming her as his adopted daughter? Don't eat them, not for a few months anyway. Besides, if it is the one people are talking about (there are more than a few orphans and foundlings who go into dungeons having no other options) she probably has skills that can help the tribe.

>>16173629
That's actually a really good point. I didn't think of that. Thanks, Anon!

>>16173672
Who wrote this? It's pretty great

>>16173669
Thanks. Now that doesn't mean she has a friend in every dungeon. Far from it. Those dungeons were burnt out and looted. It is part of the natural cycle and they are in the recovery stage. They don't raid the surface world and don't attract adventurers.

However all dungeons connect to the Underdark and people migrate. It would be unusual, but not impossible for her to find a childhood friend as chief of a tribe in another dungeon. That's some RP potential.

She kills and loots, just like mommy and daddy. She knows this isn't wrong because both her parents and aunts and uncles told her so in different ways. The family reasons she doesn't remember because they were gone for long times and it conflicts with the much more sensible ideas of her aunties and uncles.

Sometimes a dungeon must be swept by surface-dwellers to clear it for new life. But when "Big-Head" Gromosho who always beat her at skull-kicking, but still shared his deserts, asks her to spare his tribe how will she deal with her fellow adventurers?

Or not. But I'd totally forward that idea to your GM for the lulz.

My brother played a similar character, OP. Only his parents were downright horrible to him, but he was completely devoted and loving in return. IC quotes:
"That's the fifth-worst beating I ever got. That ogre don't got nuthin' on my pappy."
"It's like my pappy used to say; 'Get the hell outta my house, I'm not your father, don't make me stab you again.'"
"I haven't seen such a whorish display since I walked in on my mom with the palace guard." "Which guard was it?" "All of 'em. Even the fat retard they make watch the prisoners."
"This scar's where a lizardman I was wrestling bit me. These here are from some elvish arrows. And this one? (indicates jagged scar running down the side of his face) That one I call 'The Reason You Don't Wake Pappy Up On Weekends'"
"Since we got here, I've been stabbed, poisoned, bitten by worgs, and dropped into a cesspit. If there were more empty liquor bottles, I'd feel homesick."
"In the words of my Pappy, 'Who the hell let you out of that cage'?"

>>16173740
Those are scans from the Marvel comic book Nextwave by Warren Ellis.

Well worth checking out.

>>16173858
That's adorably darkly optimistic.

I like this guy.

>>16173978
I just downloaded and read that.

It is made of explosions and sugar high and I dearly wish there was more.

>>16175541
I'll have to give it a read!

>>16175541
>>16171339

I rest my case.

I love this thread so much. The Lich-wizard should totally stay too. He sounds awesome.

>>16179420
I'd be cool with having a lich godfather.

bump