>Enough dakka

Foolish mortal.

Slaneesh is the lord of excess.
Meaning we will have a weapon with TOO MUCH dakka.

Or possibly not even excessive amounts of dakka are enough.

DERE'S NEVAR ENUFF DAKKA YOU GIT

Because it would set have a higher standard of dakka. This would lead to needing more dakka to fight with rival ork tribes.

>>16396062
>Enough dakka.
NEVER IS ENOUGH DAKKA!
>>16396076
>Too much dakka
NEVER IS TOO MUCH DAKKA!

needs more choppy

>enough dakka

Better idea.

>Send a bunch of orks to the eye of terror.
>Loot slaanesh.

Even with that we need MOAR DAKKA!

>slaanesh tries to tempt ork with temptations of the flesh
>ork is confused
>ork gets angry
>ork punches amazingly beautiful chaos daemon in the face
>????????
>no dakka

>ork.....do you want more dakka than you could ever dream?
>DERE IZ NEVA ENOUGH DAKKA YA KAOS GIT NOW LEMME' OUTTA ERE'
>lulz aborted

Dem spikey boyz wouldn't know dakka even if they had cybork dakka arms. Instead of sendin' one of da boyz to some spikey godz, send him to Gork. I bet you Gork has the ded 'ard flashy grubbins.

Alright then, what if we:

>give emprah sight
>show him slaanesh
>record what he sees
>Do what we wrote down


because clearly the Emprah's going to see the perfect way to achieve the imperium's goals.

>>16396115
>heads off to khorne-y world
>loot choppa stuff

>>16396115
>Wanting ta be let out before ya loot da dakka it wuz talking about.
>Da boss hopes ya gitz ain't doing dat.

If you want to send the orks into the eye of terror the only way to do it is say the crompin and stompin is best in there. So much so that they need a waaaagh to do it! this would challenge the orks, making them eventually destroy the eye of terror and then after a few thousand year of combat they would return and be strong enough to take out the nids who are battling the crons. As the nids and cron, possibly DE are the only ones left.

>>16396134
>>16396140
>implyin i didn' alredy loot it da first thing wen i got dere

>how de wez workin deze compootaz anywayz?

>Loot slaanesh.

Fuck yes.

Better yet, Looted Khorne. More choppy.

>>16396156
>da mek sed it was for better dakka lernin

>>16396207
>all i see is umie' porn

>but at least the letters are GREEN

>GREEN IS BEST, WAAAAAGH

>>16396222
>WE BEEN TRICKED!

>Ork becomes Slannesh worshipper
>Recieves more dakka
>Not enuff!
>Continues fighting for Slannesh, recieves ever-increasing dakka
>STILL NOT ENUFF DAKKA! MORE!
>Slannesh sheds single tear of pride.

>Slaanesh tempts ork with most dakka weapon ever created
>Ork immediately tries it out on Slaanesh
>Minus 1 chaos god
>justasplanned.jpg

Slaanesh becomes your desire.

>ork uses slaanesh to dakka, but slaanesh controls the ork just like the fluff says

>>16396329

Exactly. If slaanesh becomes your desire, then you simply record what an ork sees, and you'll get what I said.

or a worthy adversary. it's probably 50/50 with orks.

>>16396367
Wouldn't the Ork's head just explode? There's no such thing as enuff dakka, so the Ork would get stuck in some kind of feedback loop, adding more and more barrels onto the weapon.

Orks
Slaanesh = never ending wihs for more dakka and choppy
khorne = fighting
nurgle = spread as a fungus
tzeentch? fuck planning WAAAAAGH!

>>16396378
>not being ded kunnin'

>>16396376
this.

>>16396378
hold on a sec... Gork and Mork are the gods of the orks therefore embody all these aspects (as well as being cunning) so the ork gods could defeat the chaos gods if they so wished...?

>>16396391
Yeah, but the only opponent brutal and kunnin' enough for Gork to fight is Mork. And vice-versa.

>>16396391

Sure, but they already curbstomped Khorne once and decided he was such a pansy he wasn't even worth killing. So now they just sort of ignore the chaos gods.

>>16396391
Gork and Mork are hinted at being the most powerful warp entities out there.

>>16396378
khorne is brutal, tzeentch is cunning.
but neither of them is brutally cunning, or cunningly brutal.

>>16396404

Well, they did kick nurgle's ass...

The definition of Dakka necessarily precludes the possibility of there ever being enough. You could build a weapon with the most dakka that a weapon has ever had, and it would still need moar dakka.

>record what he sees
>build what he sees
There's a problem. An Ork would see every possible dakka in the universe, placed overlapping, tiled to infinity and back, and fractal'd down to microscopic levels. Then, painted Red.
Such a device could not possibly be constructed due to every gun barrel overlapping an infinite number of other gun barrels.

Unless, of course, the orks BELIEVE it can be constructed.

>gork and mork

There is not enough lore on them, anybody have a scan of the story of them besting nurgle?

I wonder how the chaos gods look at them, hell I figured they'd have at least met with Khorne for a punch up once or twice.

wait, what was the negative to worshiping slaanesh again?

Or the reason that people don't abuse her desire granting powers?

I'm fairly certain older fluff outright stated Gork and Mork were the most powerful entities in the Warp and can easily beat the shit out of any Chaos god, even Khorne, if they stop fighting each other for five minutes, and have done so whenever they've managed to get along.

There's a way to build enuff dakka. You just have to use everything in the dakka so it's an impossibility to add more dakka, because there's nuffink to add.

The last time we tried this we had a universe gun that fired itself.

The problem with enuff dakka is that there's nothing you can actually fire it at, because there's literally nuffink BUT dakka.

Before you ask, no, you can't add spikes, every last bit of it is fractal spikes with more spikes on the spikes all the way down to subatomic levels.

>>16396510

STILL NOT ENUF DAKKA!

>>16396510

We sue quantum fluctuations to trigger the creation of more stuff to add more dakka.

>>16396510
>turn all matter in universe into giant gun
>fire at the warp

>>16396540

So thiz shoota iz built outtta everythink, roight? Now, wut we iz gonna do, we iz gonna make a flashy grubbinz THAT DOUBLES EVERYTHINK! THAT'S TWICE THE DAKKA!

WAIT YA GITZ I GOTS AN IDEA
WOT IF DERE WOZ A WAY DAT YA KAN TURN AN ORK
INTA A GUN
AND DEN WE MAKE DA 'OLE OONIVERS INTA ORKZ?

>>16396555
I 'tink gubbinz that triple everyting 'd be much betta, bawss.

>>16396510
This is what the tyranids are actually running from, their old galaxy was converted by orks into a giant dakka.

>>16396558

DATZ NOT ENNUF DAKKA!

>>16396572
The tyrannids aren't running.
The tyrannids WERE THE AMMO.

>>16396572
Holy fuck. That makes sense.
The tyranids are running from a wave of starship sized bullets, cannon shells as big as moons and missiles the size of planets.

>>16396583

*mad at the revelation*

>>16396567

Now dat's roight orky thinkin'! You might be a nob one day!

>>16396583
>orcs using organic rounds
wat.

>>16396590

naw waitz a minnut. Why jus have triple errythin when we cun hab errythin skuared? Errythin times errythin must be bigguh than tripple errythin.

>>16396548
At that point you've defeated the purpose of dakka because there's noone left to watch it.

>>16396581
AR YER RITE.
WAIT I GOT ANUVVA IDEA
WOT IF WE GOT FLASHY GUBBINS DAT TURNS DAKKA
INTA TOO TIMEZ DA DAKKA
AN' IT GETZ TOO TIMEZ AZ FAST EVRY TIME YA OOZE IT?
NOW I IZNT A MEKBOY BUT DA MEKS SEZ SUMFIN ABOWT "INFUNIT" SEE REES AN "INFUNIT" DAKKA IN "FINUT" TIME.
KOODENT MAKE 'EDS OR ARSES ABOWT IT BUT MEKS SEZ DATS A LOTTA DAKKA.

>>16396601
>are_you_a_nob.jpg

>>16396601

Now wait..dat's evferythink...times everythink...argh! Me brain hurts! Dat is weirdboy thinkin', dat is!

>>16396606
What if you make a gun that, as its bullets, shoots out Orkz?
That way you can turn everything into Dakka, and still have someone around to appreciate it.
Even better, your bullets will then go and turn everything into more Dakka.

>>16396612

Nah, wez make a gubbin dat instead of just have dakka, make dakka. Den dat dakka makez dakka and coninuez foevah. Den we getz more dakka fo eech dakka.

>>16396555
STILL
>>16396567
NOT
>>16396601
ENUFF
>>16396612
DAKKA!!!

>>16396614
>>16396612
>>16396601

AN' IF WE DUN' FIN' ANYMOAR DAKKA IN DA UNIVERZE, WE ZHULL TRAVEL TO NUTHER' UNIVERZE!

PAIN' DA ZHEEP DOUBLE RED BOYZ!!!

So do you guys know about the big bang?

Well yeh, i think you get my idea.

BOYZ.
BOYZ.
WOT WE NEED
ARE VON NEWYMAN BULLETS.
I'm drawin' up da greenprints now.

>>16396635
So what you're saying is.
Even if we make a gun that somehow destroys and creates an infinite amount of universes per second
There's always the possibility of duct-taping more dakka onto it?

>>16396635
>>16396642

NO NO!
WE ZHUL' BUIL' A GUN DAN ZHOOT OONIVERZEZ!

There's a story of how Slaanesh tried to impress the Ork Gods. he builded the biggest and Dakkest gun in the whole world. Mork took the Gun and whailed Slaanesh with it saying "NEEDZ MOAR DAKKA YOU GIT"
and since that day Slaanesh left the orks alone

>>16396642
The Horror
THE HORROR.

>>16396650
Of course. Aleph numbers.

>>16396642
Use redprintz ya git, we don't hav all day.

You're all missing the point here.

The pursuit of more dakka is the perfect embodiment of the idea that the journey matters more than the destination.

That's why orks always seek to have more dakka, but never to have enough.

>>16396662

dun juz stan dere, paint dem redprints red! dubble redprints much fastah den regulah redprints.

>>16396672

Buh datz dah ting. Bah plannin wayz to getz ennuff dakka, we be followin' dah path tah more dakka.

Boyz, wut if we made a shoota...that dakka'd shootas? An those shootas'd dakka shootas too! An those shootas'd dakka shootas too! An so on!

>>16396628
The Orks have made a gun that shoots squigs or gretchins, cant remember which one, but it involves them travelling though the warp and when they arrive they are mad.

Righto, you ladz want lots 'a dakka? Ya make a gun so big, when ya shoot it, it makes da ooniverse. 'Dat whole Big Bang wierdboy zogg.

But den, dis is da kicker, da whole ooniverse EXPLODES. An' it just keeps doin' it, making ooniverses and blowing dem up. And da bang is so loud it ekoes around and da humies hear it (in da new ooniverse), and thing dey hear some Dark Matter zoggin nonsense.

Now we gots dat sorted, we gets a time machine. And shoot da ooniverse gun at it. Da boom goes back in time and ya have two ooniverses blowing up. And bof of DEM fire at da time machine when they come back around. And it goes on like dat.

Still not enough dakka but a zoggin' lot if ya ask me.

>>16396672

So the dakka is in fact the search of the orkish perfection?

What if... what if Dakka is the real goddess of the orks and the orks want to go back with their heavenly mother?

>>16396691

Movver? Wut is dat? Dat sounds roight unorky ter me!
An besides, we iz not just wantin more dakka...we needs more choppa, more speed an more stompin too!

>>16396672
>get-a-load-ov-dis-grot-kam
Ya still playin' yer filosofee gamez up dere son?

>>16396686

the sokk attakk gun, you dumb git!

>>16396703
>>16396703

Don't worry pal, cry on my shoulder, we'll help you find your lost mother.

>>16396690
And for a bit of fun, once yeh done da time machine fing a few times and are getting bored, start shootin' em at each uvver.

>>16396686
shoots snotlings actually.

Shokk Attack gun, Mek's use them to fire snotlings through a semi stable warp portal and into an enemy either inside their armour or inside their body

>>16396704
>get-a-load-ov-dis-grot-kam

I am posting merely to say that the idea of this image made me laugh long and hard

>>16396672
>SORKATEZ

Someone on /tg/ should be able to do something constructive with Sorkatez

>>16396745
Also the bigger the orks are the cleverer they are so I imagine Sorkatez to be titan size.

>>16396062
But you can't build an infinite plane of guns that shoot other guns into guns, which explode into billions of guns.

>>16396757


wait. Duz dat mean we'z ahh supah hyooge?

>>16396782
>supah hyooge

I'll take that as "super huge" and yes it is theriosed orks can be that big. OR BIGGER

If we ever achieve Enough Dakka or, heaven forbid, Too Much Dakka, the Ork economy will collapse. It will entirely devalue Dakka, and it will drag the Choppy down with it. Previous levels of Dakka will be insufficient to support even a single household of Boyz, and the Dakka trade defecit will ruin them.

>>16396796
orks trade in teeth not dakka. Though I see your point.

So, what we've done iz we have dis rawket dat can turn a star inna a black 'ole, see. And as dis system ere is binary un wif a hypagaint, the catastroffic collapse of dat hypagiant inna the black ole will release a gamma ray burst and fry jus about everything within bout 1000 light years.

We've got our best meks and dere grots working on how to make it choppier and get more dakka innit

EKSESSIFF DAKKA IZ NOT ENUFF DAKKA

PINK BOYZ MUCK ABOUT WIFF THER DAKKA TO MAK IT PRETTY WIFF SILLY PINK BITZ WEN YOU KOULD HAFF ADD MORE DAKKA IN PLACE OF ZAT!
LESS MUCKING AROUND AND MORE BIZNIZZ AND RED IZ MUCH BETTER THAN PINK, PINK DOES NUTHING ANY COLOR IZ BETTER THAN THAT

Deffboss is da biggest an' da smartest! He figgurd dat being choppy an' stompy is best and not none dem flashy big shootas.

Why don't the orcs just make a gun the destroys everything that ever existed, and then remake reality out of dakka.

Platork.

'Now see ere, ya gitz. Dere is dis cave, roight? No no, not a real cave, ya grot! Dis ere is a meta...metaf..a story cave, roight? An dere is orks sitting in dis cave! An deze orks haf lived in dis cave all dere lives since dey was gruntz. Now dere'z a roight big fire burning in diz cave, behind dem orks. And between dem orks an da fire dere is a gubbinz dat moves fings like dakka an stompa an choppa back an forth, so da orks see da shadow of dose fings on da cavewall.

Now, da orks ave never seen REAL dakka an choppa an such, so they'd assume dat da shadows they see are da real dakka an choppa! While every ork knows a shadow of a shoota ain't nearly as dakka as a real shoota! Stop laughin, ya grot! I'm tryin ter make a point ere!

So dem orks wouldn't know da real dakka if dey saw it! An if one of dose boyz went outta dat cave, he'd see all the fings he could stomp an wouldn't know he could stomp em! But if he stayed out da cave fer a while, he'd learn about da REAL dakka an choppa an speed, an den he could WAAAGH properly, like a real ork!

An if he went back into da cave, to tell da uvver orks about da real WAAAGH outside, they wouldn't believe him, see? Cause they'd fink da shadows were da real WAAAGH, so they'd stomp him fer bein unorky.

See, da point is..point is..dat you lot need ter WAAAGH as hard as yer can, cause yer might FINK yer WAAAGHing really hard, but it might not be da REAL WAAAGH! Now go stomp some humies!

Ya gibs zeemz to mizz ze point!

IT WUD STIL NEED MORE CHOPPA!

>>16396866
Shillork.

Djuz venn da orkz is WAAGHin' iz dem relley cump... com... all orky 'n stuff, an' only venn dey iz able to be all orky 'n stuff doez dey WAAAGH.

>>16396906

Alroight, yer git. But yer better be lissenin, so yer can learn ter be a proper ork!

Now, dere was dis humie once. He 'ad loadsa teeth! He ad so many teeth he traded em fer a gubbinz dat made it so no-ork could see im when he ad it. After dis humie died, da uvver humies locked him in a undeerground room with his gubbinz an teeth, cause humies are weird like dat.

Now, one day an Ork came by an found da entrance to da room! Like a proper Ork he looted da whole fink, an found da gubbinz.

When he returned to his boyz, he found dey couldn't see him! An after a while, he went roight unorky. Instead of crumpin da humies, he just walked by em cause dey couldn't see him! In da end, one of da weirdboyz spotted him when he was trying ter sneak into da warbosses tent like a grot an exploded him all over da place.

So, da point of a da story is dat yer should stick with yer boyz an don't mess with humie gubbinz, or ya might become roight unorky.

You know how andromeda is supposed to slam into the milky way some time in the far off future?

yeah, cause of orks.

Apparently some orks never got the memo that time traveling and crossing trans galactic space were difficult. They pretty much conquered the entirety of the andromeda galaxy and decided that their act of "close to enuff dakka" was to crash theirs galaxy into ours.

AT LAST! I have finally gotten word of my planewalker scouts, and it seems that they've finally found the Elemental Plane of Dakka.
Now I just have to find a way to weaponize it and sell it, like what I did to the Elemental Plane of Missiles. Them Macross dudes sure pay well. Will Orkz pay well as well?

>>16397021
ALL MY TEEF!

And weaponizing it is easy. Just open a gate of arbitrary size and point it at the enemy.

So, In the grimdark future, there is never enough dakka ?

>>16397049
you know the big bang?

well, what if you had 2 of them?

if you have 2, why not 3?
3 is better than 2

and so on. Such is the case for dakka. Even if you have infinite dakka, there's always the possibility no matter how remote than you can add a plus 1 to that infinity.

>>16397039
Yeah, I mean, I have to devise a foolproof way to open said portal in their universe. Each universe have their own quirks, ya dig? So sometimes I gotta read up on that universe's particular 'thread', and then make a device that will reliably open the portal when needed.
And it seems like the Ork's own WAAAGGGHHH field have given me an idea. I'll be back, right after I 'enlist' a few Weirdboyz and a few Mekboyz. I should have something ready for them.

>>16396996

So, it'z storytimez again!

Now, imagine da WAAAAGH! is a big Kruizer, wiv all der orks on it. Now, yer want yer kruizer to go straight fer da biggest scrap, roight? But one of da boyz'll say dat da biggest scrap is dis way, an anuvver dat is is dat way! An so all da boyz will want ter go a different way an stomp eachuvver an da kruizer won't be going anywhere.

Dat is roight nuts. So, wut yer need ta get to da biggest scrap as fast as possible is one ork ter say where ya need ta go! But yer need ta be sure dat dat one ork knows where da biggest scrap is, or da kruizer'll go da wrong way!

So you'll need ter make da best ork da boss. Dat ork must not just be kunningly brutal ta crump fings when ya get to da scrap, but also brutally kunning, so he knows where ta fin dat scrap.Only wiv one of dose bosses can yer have a proper WAAAAGH!

So, da point is..oh, hello boss. Oh, nothink, i wuz just muckin about. now, i'll go an stomp som grotz..see yer later boss!

>>16397106
Just make something that looks cool an' shooty.
If they believe it to be cool an' shooty, it will be.

Der was a boy wot went to shoot sum dakka, a bit of da dakka went in da ground and was lost, anuther bit was eat by squigz, anuther went in a hole wiff bugz in it dat grew all over, 'nuther was stole by grotz mucking about and a bit went in the enemiz and sploded 40, 60 timez more.

If ye haff earz ta lissen lissen.

>>16397127
Us name be WAAAGH!!! cause us be many.

>>16397127
Why do ya call me, ‘Bozz, Bozz,’ an do not do wot I zay? 47 I will show ya whot he’z like who comez ta me and hearz my wordz and putz dem into praktiz. He iz like an ork bildin a trukk, wo add lotsa dakka and paint the arma red fer fastah. When a WAAAAGH came, de enemiz ztruck dat trukk but kuld not bust it, ‘coz it waz well built and had lotsa dakka. But the one who hearz my wordz and doez not put dem into praktiz iz like a grot who built a trukk wiff no dakka. The momint the WAAAAGH ztruck dat trukk, it busted and itz got stomped real good.

I've got a redprints bawss!
It's simple, stuff goes in da front and da bullet turns it inta metal in da fusion chamber, which is then used by the assembly chamber to make more bullets. Fing is, it needs a lot of power, and it draws power from da WAAAGH, (i gotta thank the weirdboy for dat'un), so it's only gonna work on big waaaaaghs.

>Take ork
>reveal him to Slaanesh
>Slaanesh is unable to manifest as enough dakka. Division by zero error.
>Eye of Terror implodes.

Why has no-one done THIS yet?

This thread delivers.

Have a Munitorum loli.

>>16397277
Nobody makez a big gun and putz it unner a git or burri it, it bringz it on de biggest trukk fer erryun ta see an be jeller!

>>16397348
Da boyz uv a certen rich boss made gud dakka. 17 He thoght to hisself, ‘Wot shall I do? I aff no place fo all mi dakka.’ “Den he sed, ‘Dis iz wot I’ll do. I will tear down mi trukks and build bigger unes, and dere I will put all mi dakka and mi boyz. 19 And I’ll say to misself, “You haff lotsa of good stuff, take it eazy; eet, drink and muck ubbout.” ’ “But de Bigger Boss said to him, ‘You git! This very night yer will be stomped by me! Den who will get wot you haff prepered fer yersself?’ Me!
And Bigger Boss stomped him good and took all his stuff and boyz to make a big WAAAAGH!
Dis iz how it goes wiff anyun who stores up stuff fer hisself but iz not redy fer de Bigger Boss.

>>16397464
S’ppoz un ov yu had a gretchin mucking or looking after de squiz. Would he say to the grot when he comez in from da WAAAAGH, ‘Come wiff me now and sit down ta eet’? Would he not say isted, ‘Make me grub, and get yerself ready and wait on me eetin and drinkin; after dat you may do woteva?’ Would he thank the gretchin becoz he did what he was told to do?
De answa iz NO you gitz.
So you too, when you haff done errything you were told ta do, should say, ‘We are unworthy grotz; we haff only done our duty to da Boss.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16396062/

Ludvig Orkgenstein.

Lissen up, ya gitz...Life's a game, see, an' da objeckt is ta be da biggest and da strongest, and ya learn 'ow to do that when ya crawl out of da ground.

rolled 85 = 85

>>16397628
Nie... Ni... Dat git wiff da funni name.

Gork is ded an' I stomp'd 'im ded. Now I'z da strongest foa evah!

>>16397646
Immanuff Kont

Always haff the dakka as a mean to more dakka nevar as the end itself.

Show Orks Touhou, receive lots of dakka, raise the bar!

Might not be enough but damn if it isnt pjootiful!

“A fah moar glorious WWAAAAAAAAGGGHH's waitin!' Not a skirmish or some other gittery, but a real honest to Mork an Gork, WAAAAAAGGGGH! A WAAAAAAAAGH filled with 400 billion orks! Da destrouction of dah puny hummies!”

>>16397677
Djon sturt mull: Da most dakka fer da most boyz.

O'corse, dis teary haz de flawh in dat the bestin way t'go abut it iz ta hav all da boyz uz der dakka awn EECH UDDER.

Oo. Roight. Dat ain't a flawh.

>>16397759
You are now aware that orks are youkai and that danmaku is the archaic form of dakka.

>>16397759

>>16398066
That applies to both orks and d&d parties.
It's a pretty generic course of action in hindsight.
Is it lootable?
yes->Loot it
No->Dakka it

>>16398266

Ergo D&D parties are Orks.

What about a plane of existence in which each subatomic particle is another universe, therefore creating an infinite amount of fractal omniverses?

If every particle in this "Omniverse+" was fired at every other particle in the O+, in every possible configuration in multiple alternate Onmniverses, in such a way that the force of the impact generated infinite amounts of alternate dimensions in which the exact same situation was also playing out.

Could this scenario be extrapolated to get enough Dakka?

>>16398361
By the same logic D&D parties and Orks are both little girls (with magical powers).

>>16398888
Imokwiththis.jpg

>>16398888

Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg

>>16398539
>could exponentially infinite, multi-reality spanning amounts of dakka be extrapolated into enough dakka

NO YA GROT!

BACK TO PAGE ONE WITH YOU

Oi fink dat the resun you gits are so pashnit wiv dakka is cuz yer intrestid in eachuver's bodes.

>>16402834
>Oi fink dat the resun you gits are so pashnit wiv dakka is cuz yer intrestid in eachuver's DAKKA.

Fixd dat fur ya