>Decide to make a homebrew
>create deep, interesting setting, characters, overarching plot lines, themes and motifs
>no idea what to do for mechanics
>give up.

>That dude who pulls a knife on you when you beat him on FNM

>>16435093
I've actually seen that happen once.

Also, there is a MTG player in my area with short, blond hair, blue eyes, tall, and has a "second smile" across his neck. A very friendly chap but scary as hell to look at.

>Staring down that dude who beat you in Magic after you pull a knife on him

>>Reading about and discussing P&P games, without having actually played them

;_;

The only two times I tried to do it was on a forum, and the games sucked complete ass. Munchkins everywhere, and the people with actually interesting characters just bailed a bit after the start.

>Trying to stop a knife fight at a MtG tournament

>Pulling out your own, bigger knife then staring your opponent down when you beat a dude at Friday Night Magic and he pulls a knife on you and tries to stare you down

>Bringing a gun to FNM to finish this shit once and for all

>>16435089
You could you know.
Make a book?

>>16435138
>That feel when your FLGS doesn't allow concealed carry

>Watching some guy get stabbed by two guys at a MTG tournament

>>16435104
No doubt, man. It's a common experience, that's why I posted it in the thread.

>>16435089
Borrow mechanics? It's not that much of a mental leap.

>>16435139
I could, and I tried, but I constantly write myself into a corner. I have a hard time keeping my eye on the big picture sometimes.

>>16435145

>>That feel open carry is completely legit

>being asked if I Catan

>Having to pay 5% more on game shop purchases because the owner needs save up and buy a shotgun to stop all these knife fights and stabbings

>>16435146
>covering your face when you go to FNM so you don't appear on the news when they run a story on the magic stabbing craze that night as another body hits the floor in the local game store

>Watching some guy attempt to rob a FLGS and get chained stabbed, after winning a MtG game

>>16435145

>Disallowed
>Concealed

You were never head of the class, were you?

>Hoping you don't get a Jace in draft so you won't get stabbed for your cards

This happened to a friend of mine
>DM game for a few people
>One guy fucks up, character dies
>guy freaks out and threatens to call the cops
>Actually starts to call the cops
>DM books like his pants are on fire

Luckily, he never saw that guy again. He doesn't know what the cops did to that guy, but I'm sure he got a fine for calling for something so stupid.

>>16435161
Your shop sounds awesome.

>Build intrincately detailed settings with background culture backed by serious linguistics/antropological/sociological/philosophical/historical research that you grow to love as a son.
>Players don't really care about that, they just want to dick around. Or perhaps they marginally care, but you built an ideal setting for you, but as a Player and not as a GM.

Mind that this isn't the players' fault, but the Gm's. Detailing stuff that nobody cares but you is the definition of GM's masturbation.

>>16435193
Reminds me of that DM who set himself on fire and tried to kill his whole playing group because he was moving away.

Admittedly, mainly because you said both 'cops' and 'fire'.

>>16435169
>Having Card games banned in your city after 137 bodies were found in game stores across the city
>All covered in stab wounds

>That feel when I live in Denmark, the state of which is anything but rotten

>Got to buy a new knife because your old one broke on some guy's ribcage at the last M:tG tourney
>Knife too big to fit in shared deck/knife holster belt
>Have to buy a new holster belt
>Space for deck too big, cards bash about
Every time.

>Legally allowed to carry a gun
>Go to a FNM
>See two men about to knife fight

>>16435222
>Live in Denmark
>Kill Swedes on the ice 24/7

>>16435075

How about the wicked awesome home brew your dm whips up and everyone gets really excited to play it, only to have it fall apart after two sessions? That's got to have happened to other people right?


Also, I love /tg/ and their crazy knife fightan ways

>>16435225
I got a quickdraw knife holster.
It has never failed me cause if it did, I wouldn't be around to post

>When random teenagers ask you where is the clinic and if they hand over "The day after pill"
This has happen to me more than ten times and I'm like god damn at least use a condom for fuck sake.

>Ask to fix pluming when walking down the street with my cases filled with miniatures. Get bitches when I say no. Have to show them my models. And now they are playing in the same club.

>Getting stabbed but nothing happen because a metal space marine figure that I just putted on my pocket caught the tip of the knife.


I should really just use my car to move around and pay parking.

>That feeling when you bring a grenade to your LGS and walk away putting your sunglasses on.

>That feel when the setting for your conversion is pouring out of your head like oil out of a BP pipe
>That feel when complete writer's block for a fucking week

>"Fuck yes, this game is great and you, fellow gamers, are my best friends ever! I feel that I can truly express different aspects in me through roleplaying"
>"Well, I know that I've been missing the last 12 games and that I've been mostly unavailiable, but after getting a girlfriend I realized that I grew up from roleplaying games."

>>16435253
>That feel when you have defeated all challengers, but have no more LGS

>>16435258
I don't want to date anymore.
I get interested in girls, and then suddenly my bank account plummets, and my productivity plummets.
Not worth it

>>16435258
What do you mean grew up? It was some kind of tumor?

Bad jokes aside.
>That feeling when girl/boyfriends screw the gaming group for about a year till the other part stops day dreaming of him/her.

>That feeling when you group has more stable relationships and gaming is no longer a cluster fuck of drama.

>>16435297
That shit is annoying

>>16435276
Do you realize that the problem in >>16435258 isn't buddy's girlfriend, but buddy himself? That kind of people are too ashamed to enjoy things that other people might consider childish.

>>16435276
On the good side random /tg/ related gifts. Are great, specially when they actually get them right.

>>16435354
I just want to be able to talk with my bros.

>>16435366
And you can't do that while having a partner because?

>>16435379

Women eat their young and devour mens' souls.

>>16435397
No, you've got it all wrong. They steal men's souls and make them their slaves!

>>16435397
Is your partner a Drow, or a spider? Because that might be the problem.

>>16435397
I have encounter many like them before. Shit sucks, especially when you actually get fooled and think they want something else beside the nice things you can get them.

I'm still waiting for something that at least cares for you back a little.

>>16435210
It elementary school all over again.

>>16435424
It's a common trait amongst all women

>>16435444
I'm really hoping that is just common and not an absolute fact in everyone.

>"My vampire character wears a trenchcoat".

>That feeling when you catch the attention of interesting women with your awesome dice. Plus points if they refer to the dice as "those platonic solids".

>That feeling when, after a long struggle, the group successfully completes an argumental arch of a campaign.

>>16435146
what.

>>16435467

>>16435483
It happens all the time, hell in my life I've been stab trice and shot once. All though I'm just in a third world country or "developing country" like some like to call them.

Thanks to the power of money! I came out with out problems unlike the poor bastards, that die or end with crippling conditions.

>Having to go through an intervention to remove a broken knifes' shard from a rib after a draft.

> that feeling when you get beat by a drunk guy at the midnight prerelease...

WHAT THE FUCK, GUYS.

>pulling my halberd at a knife fight at FMN
That shit gets hectic.

>>16435750

I have to admit, MtG knifings are a textbook case where a weapon with reach would pay off.

>>16435793
They said it was silly but I told my friends I wasn't taking any chances. I protect my bros, man.

>>16435075
>Get choked out of FLGS due to the smell of neckbeard cheese

I shit you not. IT'S CALLED 'LYSOL,' PAUL, LOOK INTO IT.

>that feel when I flash my urumi before every FNM tournament
>people are intimidated by me and don't attempt to knife me
>I don't even fucking know how to use this thing

As much as I come here, and as much as I post military shit, see all the medieval threads, the sci-fi threads, etc., I never realized /tg/ was spelled with an invisible /k/.

>>16435853
Halberd is pussy weapon. Real man uses kukri, is like knife but better in every way and not even remotely pussy. I wear kukri to every tournament, strapped to arm, and always win every game. Is good deck I have!

>>16435949
I have a Kukri though. For real this time.

>>16435921
We like our guns and swords and poleaxes, we're just too left-wing for /k/'s usual "BARACK OBAMA IS A SOCIALIST MUSLIM" crowd.

>>16435949

That's not a knife, this is a knife

>>16436057
No, -this- is a knife.

>>16435264
>That feel when you take your trusty knife and go a new town to play Magic, and the cycle begins again
How many men have I killed...

>someone pulls a knife on me
>Unsheathe my flamberge
"How you gonna act now"

>>16435982
Oh, I know, it just never clicked until this thread. And he's not a socialist Muslim. He's a COMMIE Muslim.

>>16436094
>>16435750
>Learning to throw your knives after being at the wrong end of a reach weapon that one Magic tourney final

>>16436071

No.
This is a knife.

>>16436071

No, THIS is a knife

Also, next time I happen to be at my LGS on a Friday night (very rare as I don't play M:tG), I'm wearing my plate carrier.

That's not a knife, THIS IS A KNIFE!!!

>>16436107
>>he's not a socialist Muslim. He's a COMMIE Muslim.
According to Fox News, he's a commie socialist atheist jew muslim gay wife-stealing baby-eating warmongering hippy who wants to kill all old people. But they may be a tiny bit biased.

>>16436107

I subscribe to the "nazi alien from outer space" belief. He's after our souls and our gold.

>>16436139
He'd better not walk into my Magic store, I'll tell you that.

>>16436094
>>Get a flamberge pulled
>>Watcha gonna do?
UNLEASH THE HULKAMANIA, BROOOOTHEEEER!

Come at me tovarisch.

>>16436135
Fox News? Biased? No, couldn't be! They air it on AFN! That's as unbiased as it gets! On a serious note, a bit of wisdom my old man gave me: Somewhere between Rush Limbaugh and Mother Jones, there is truth.

>>16436139
Well, you're entitled to your opinion of the man, whether it agrees with mine or not.

Also, THIS IS A KNIFE!

THESE KNIVES NEED MORE DAKKA

>>16436222
CAPTCHA ATE MY PIC

>>16436222
No ya git! De needz moar Choppa!

>>16436235
a weapon used to commit suicide when everyone laughs are how retarded it is

My captcha had "nfancide"

>Campaign drags for forever, only playing because it's the only campaign around
>Suddenly, god-tier session this is why I stick around aww yeah
>then shit sessions again

and

>playing game, it's fun for you and everyone else
>one person thinks it's boring, says so
>repeatedly says it's boring, suggests nothing to make it better, nor does anything other than say it's boring
>everyone gets fed up with the fucker and game dies

and

>implying that those are knives

Ya grots call dat choppy? DIS iz choppy!

>Alright internet friends! Who wants to play?
>Everybody!
>Make characters
>First session goes well
>Don't manage to get everyone together for a month
>Never play that campaign again

Every. Single. Time.

For fucks sake it's not that hard to commit a few hours a week, why do you insist we rely on random chance?

>>16436418

What do you use to find/play PnP internet games?

>>16436464
We played in Fantasy Grounds 2. Nothing to find them, i just played with my internet "group" (most of them i met in Vampire: The Masquerade Redemption multiplayer and a Neverwinter Nights 1 PW).

>>16435107
>>16435093
>When that dude is the store owner

>>16436566
>When you just don't give a fuck anymore, clamber across the table and maul his face off with my teeth.

>When you end up in lockup for a few months.

>>16436135
>jew

Nah, as of late FOX news has been cool with Jews and has been pushing supporting Israel. I think some Jews now hold major stock.

>Gonna run a game, invite some folks
>Don't invite that guy
>players show up
>that guy shows up
>that guy thinks I was careless and forgot to invite him
>gripes at me for making him find out we were playing
>introduces his ooze girl character

When will the pain stop?

>>16436722

When you finally man up and tell him he isn't wanted, and then call the cops if he refuses to leave your house hold.

>stabbings over MtG

Where the hell do you people game? I've never even heard of such a thing occurring until now!

>>16437149
>>Where the hell do you people game?
Places that aren't lame and for pussies, that's where. Around here, it isn't a game of Magic till your opponent pulls out a sai to distract you from the fact that he's losing. And you can't say you won unless you pinned his hand to the table with your gladius.

>>16435104
what's a "second smile?"

>>16437149
You live such a sheltered life. These are the backroom, tens of thousands of dollars bet on, you lose the game you lose your life matches. Not for the faint of heart, sir.

>>16437194
When you survive having your throat cut, it makes you smile

>>16437194
Ever seen someone in the movies get their throat slit? Think about what the scar would look like if they survived.

>reading this thread

>>16435210
wtf what city do you play in?

MFW I've played Magic for 14 years and never seen anyone pull a knife.

>>16437260
>never seen anybody pull a knife during M:tG
>hurfdurrohgodretarded.jpeg

Do you just never go outside?

P.S. FUCK OFF TRIPFAG

Shit man, I never knew MTG was this intense.

>>16437376
>not bringing a handgun to FNM
>2011
ishygddt

>>16437378
Just be glad you're never in the actual high-stakes games for important amounts of money. I've seen dudes pull AKs over Eldrazi, and you'll lose for sure if you don't at least bring a 9mm SMG. I usually bring an M16 and a machete, personally.

>>16437376
No... I guess I'm just lucky or I just go to less shady events. I've played with Power 9 and played games with hundreds of dollars in prizes on the line many times, but I've never seen anyone pull a knife on anyone else. Or maybe Vintage players are less violent or something, because most tournaments I go to these days are Vintage tournaments.

>>16437376
>FUCK OFF TRIPFAG

>>>/b/

>>16437399
I conceal it in my shoe.

>That session of Monopoly that ended in a hostage situation.
>That session of Scrabble that ended in a knife fight.
>That session of Mouse Trap that ended in a house fire.
>That one time a game of The Floor is Made of Lava made a fistfight turn into an orgy.

>those players who always want to play another system after switching over to something they suggested
>the dm who does the same thing

Archive this thread! Archive it NOW!

>rokeduc equipment
... kinky

>>16437441
That's because you're a pussy.
>>Implying that you can be a real MtG player if you haven't bet a finger on a match.

>>16437728
You are not a real MtG player until you use russian roulette t o see who goes 1st.

Pic related.

You can't call yourself a real MtG player unless you've responded to seeing your entrails fall onto the table with "So you'll go first then?"

>Go to FNM
>Lose first match
>Stab a bitch
>Lather, rinse, repeat
>Tournament is canceled on account of death
>Never win a single match
>Hands bloody from shuffling
>Deck is knives

>>Go to backroom magic tournament
>>Fight some bastard playing a red burn deck
>>I start winning, fucker pulls out a can of hairspray with a lighter attached to it
>>MFW
>>Pull out my kukri and slice his finger off
>>Kick his ass at Magic, kick his ass in an alley 5 minutes later
>>Go home with 200 bucks in prize money
>>Life is good.

>>16438473
So you sliced his finger off and weren't kicked out?

>>16438546
MtG is serious business, kid

You can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen!

>>16438035
"Vash, take care of Knives."

I will, I swear it.

>>16438546
Kid, you're junior league if that freaks you out. Besides, I stuck it in ice for him. He can probably get it reattached. Probably.

>>16438473
OH SHIT! MY NIGGA!
I was the guy playing the Crucible/fastbond/orb deck. They searched me for guns at the door, how did you sneak that in?

>>16438594
Where did you have ice? Seriously I've never heard of a GS that would tolerate assault.

>>16438625
It wasn't at a gamestore yo. Shit is a back room game dog, assault is part of the game. You thought Yugi Oh tourneys were bad, unsanctioned MTG backroom games for money and ante will fuck your shit up. I put a fucking down payment on a car at one of them man.

>>16438625
>>I've never heard of a GS that would tolerate assault.
Then you've never been to the real games where they play for keeps, kid. Come back when you're ready to play real Magic.

>>16438663
Well my friend won $10,000 last month and he hasn't heard of it either.

>>16438657
Oh, I guess that makes sense. Was it even a real format? You might as well just dominate it with a legacy deck.

Please tell me this thread got archived

>>16438663

Kid probably doesn't want to play for kids. He's probably one of those pansies that enjoys having their fingers.

>>16441070
Pfft, look, sometimes you need to get a relative a kidney transplant and the waiting list is to long. I'm not rich, so I'm gonna go play the most dangerous game...Magic: The Gathering

And if that stupid asshole don't come through, I'll fucking carve his kidney out myself, with a fucking letter opener. That's how underground Magic tourneys work!