>So I'm taking Prof. Phyl's class
Stopped reading right there. Bonesack hack, that's what he is.

Too late for the old add/drop slip, eh bro? Should've stuck with Introduction to Prestidigitation and leave the real magic for somebody with more than two GPA to rub together.

>>16506683

oh, look like someone's a little sore-butted about rising as a Vampire instead. Cheer up, at least you're the sparkly type...

>Prof. Phyl
Here's a little tip from a friend. Ask him if he remembers that little flower shop in Cairo.

Play your cards right, and you'll pass without even having to do the rituals.

>>16506663

>NS-499 Ascension to Lichdom
>Professor Phyl

Didn't I fire that hack? I'm pretty damn sure I did, but then again, the campus does stretch over three pocket dimensions, four Elemental Planes, and the Prime, I can't be everywhere at once.

You might want to switch majors, dude. Being a Worm that Walks is kinda boss. Yeah, there's no chicks at all in the faculty, but we're necromancers we're kind of past that now anyway....

>>16506697
I got into Industrial Necromancy, man. Raising workforces every day, making mad money, and I'm working on my MBA and on the fast track to the top brass. Sun? Who gives a fuck about the sun?

But seriously, Phyl has his head stuck up his own coccyx so deep it's not even funny. Tenure is the only thing keeping him there.

>>16506663
Risen here.
If you haven't started collecting the blood of the innocent by now, you're pretty much fucked. He was serious when he said you need to take the initiative.
>opposed oneexit
I don't give a fuck if you disapprove of my decision to leave my mortal shell, captcha.

>>16506709
No offense sir, but shouldn't you be fixing that dimensional leak in corridor 10-b in the abjuration building? The janitor golems aren't doing shit about that.

> whining about the textbook

fuck you, you fucking slacker. If I have to read Phyl's fucking book, then YOU have to read his fucking book.

That said, I hope you fuck up the potion and genderswap instead of Rising you lazy maggot

>They still are majoring in Necromancy!

You tools, Conjuration is where it's at.

>>16506808
You're the kind of asshole that hangs around the fraternities and thinks that just because HE had to go through the basilisk staring contest acceptance ritual, everyone ELSE should have to.
I'm sick of you people and your status quo. Fuck you for picking on me just because I once researched "Illusory Girlfriend." What makes you so great?

Haha, you moron. You're taking Ascension to Lichdom?

Don't you know that once you finish this course you lose any further spell progression? You can't go back to get your PhD in Spellweaving or anything, unless you go take True Resurrection and Reincarnation beforehand, and then you might come back as a dryad or something.

Seriously, why do people still sign up for his course? No hopes for postgrad?

No one can get a jerb as an evil necromantic lord any more. These days only vampires and werewolves get hired - they work for less. Sex with mentally disturbed, fattie teenage girls, rather than - you know - INFINITE FUCKING KNOWLEDGE.

The system is broke!

Well, I only got a B average, but I think I can help you out, I did my finals project in an afternoon with some help.

What I did was summon a Fire elemental, infuse it with enough negativity to almost push it into Ash elemental territory, did the same with the other traditional elements. Vacuum isn't really necessary, but it mixes the salt/ash/dust better and gives it more negative kick. Then I had an artificer buddy of mine help me bind all of them to the hourglass. It's important that at least ONE of you can make that shit Wondrous, otherwise we're wasting our time here.

So now, you've got a fiercely negatively-attuned object for your phylactery, you can do the usual bindings and rituals to start transferring your soul into it. When you're finished, all you need to do is turn the thing upside down, and when all that Ash/Dust/Salt is at the bottom, you'll be a lich, presto.

I should note however that there are a couple of downsides to this method. First of all, it's a pain in the ass convincing those elementals to help you out, and subjugating them can be even harder. And trust me, you do NOT want to know what happens if you other turn that thing upside-down again....

>>16506818
Divination major here.
I knew you were going to say that.
You're wrong, by the way.

>>16506868
Transmuter here.

Can we at least agree that where it's at isn't necromancy?

>>16506862
You mean we can have artficers help us? Holy shit, I've been doing things the hard way.

>>16506785

Butterfield Hall is scheduled for demolition two days from now. The Dimensional leaks are frankly the least of that hellholes problems. Why are you still having class there? The classes are supposed to be taught in the trailers in Sub Dimension Beta while Professors Dahyl and Sage start work on conjuring a new building.

>>16506878
>>16506868

Go away you silly breathers. Undeath is the shizz yo

>>16506862
So you can be defeated by someone knocking your little trinket off the table?

Hahaha, foolish wizard. A clumsy chamber-maid or stumblingchild could end you - literally.

Evocation major master race here, how's it feel to know that your major is the same as mine, only pigeonholed into negative energy only and with all the advanced thaumaturgy dumbed down.

>>16506878
I suppose we could.
Also, your girlfriend is cheating on you. Thought I'd let you know.

>>16506818
Mah nigga.
If we need undead, we just summon one for a while.
Of course, I don't deal with them. Nasty smell never leaves, even when they do.
I summon nature spirits and celestials. As long as I keep my nose clean, they keep me comfortable.
Also, I have a deal with the church of a certain goddess of pleasure. I can summon pleasure slaves for 8 hours at a time once per day.
Before you get the wrong idea, I don't use this for myself. I use it for the clergy's rituals and for the nobility who want all the fun without any of the bastard heirs in a few decades.
tl;dr: I'm fukken rich man, I can still eat and use my dick, and I'm respected and loved. Not a bad deal.
I minored in Transmutation and dabbled in Divination too, so that shit always helps.

>>16506905
Holy shit, you can type? No offense, but I figured people like you got your heads knocked in playing bootskull and could barely breathe without someone reminding you it's necessary.

>>16506898

Pfft, undeath isn't all its cracked up to be. 99.5% of you "immortal" liches end up killing yourselves rather epically via lab accidents anyways, and everyone knows that half assed plans like "Ohh I'mma gonna make a grain of sand my soul jar!" doesn't work anymore.

>>16506946
That false belief in my people's ignorance has led to the downfall of many an enemy. Never underestimate the simple-seeming man, for even a quiet river can conceal rough currents beneath the surface.

I heard a story about a pre-grad lich who decided to take a few alchemy classes.
He botched something and created a mass of acidic foam. Guess what dissolves REAL fast? Bones.
Poor guy never had a chance. I mean, if you take the proper precautions, you're fine, but I'd rather not risk permanent death so early. Skin is great for deflecting all kinds of nasty substances.

Soulknife here, minoring in divination.

....
I don't have anything witty to say, and I hate you all. Why did I pick such an awful major...

>>16506946
Conjuration guy here.
Hey man, don't knock the savages. I spent my third year abroad living with them learning about those nature spirits. Ever spoken with a being that could literally force all of the water from your body if you pissed it off? I was sweating for weeks. They're some of the bravest bastards I know, and sheer courage can break a great deal of magic out there. Plus, some of them are nulls. I don't ever want to go toe-to-toe with a null, even if I have my tower locked down tight.

>>16506981
What year are you? You may have time to change...

>>16506981
It's probably not too late to switch major to Psychic Warrior.

I went Psychic Warrior-Slayer after my exploratory year and it's a blast. I'm skating EVERYWHERE, and if I need to I can grow massive claws and dismember things. Sometimes while skating past.

Shit's so much fun. Maybe not as colossally powerful as a wizard would be, but I got hired on by one of those guys. The pay's great and I don't have to worry about rival wizards too much.

>>16506926
I'd be more broken up if we had been dating for more than a week.

Oh well, guess I'll just go ask that girl in Applied Abjuration out.

>>16507005
I confess to know little of spellcraft - such things I leave to the shamans and farseers of my people - but I do know this: magic is largely a matter of focus and willpower, both in using it and fighting against it. And one can easily agree there are few others that can rival a barbarian in such matters of determination.

>>16507005
>>16506975
Look guys, I didn't mean any offense. I'm just intimidated by anyone who could kill me with their bare hands up close.
I guess I'm projecting my frustration at the fact that a wizard can literally bend the rules of the cosmos, but can't do shit against a psyched-up mountain of muscle with an axe. Maybe I should have wrote my arcane thesis on Enervation rather than Disintegrate...
Anyway, I mean no disrespect.

>>16506889

Why the hell are you demolishing Butterfield Hall? Isn't that where that cute Blood Elf chick is conducting her plague magic experiments? You'll let out 10,000 kind of WRONGNESS out unto the rest of the campus!

Spare a fucking thought for those of us still living, god dammit

>>16507071
That's a hard sell. She puts on an air of reserved indifference, but you should see the things she does in her dorm room in the evenings when no one's there.

>>16507075
What clan are you from? I hung out with the Storm Eagle clan mostly. They're by the western sea. They gave me a totem that requires any of their Great Tribe to provide hospitality to me whenever I'm in the area. It's nice, but I don't need to go out there much these days.

>>16507087
Haha, calm yourself, wizard. So long as you raise not your invokations against me or my people, you need not fear me as foe. We are fierce, true, but exceedinglyloyal to those who would call us friend.

>>16506709
>I can't be everywhere at once.

Actually, sir, the Department of Metaphysics has made some interesting progress in the the field of Omniprescence recenctly.

>>16507101
Man, that chick rubs me the wrong way (sadly, no pun intended)
I walked by the building yesterday, and she just stared at me through the window without blinking. Like, just fucking stared. I walked away and she was still watching me. Gave me the creeps.

>>16507115
Doesn't it ever get boring, knowing so much?
There are some things I'd rather not know. My divination training was mostly for quick auguries and Speak with Planar Entities. You know, to aid in my summonings mostly.

>>16507117
Storm Eagle... yes, a tribe or fisher-men and people of the sea, are they not? Ah, hardy, wise people are they.- you are lucky to gain them as totem-kin.

Mine is the Frost-Iron clan from the far northern mountains.

You have to admit though, Phyl's got some great stories. Like the one where he cut off one of his hands to have a spectral-arm-wrestling match with Vecna back in the day.

>>16507119
Don't get me wrong. I'm not actually afraid you'll kill me without reason.
I'll just say I regard warriors the same way I regard bees. I'm not afraid of them because I don't bother them, but I'm just... Wary.

>the itsehi
It seems my captchal ball is telling me I should make contact with the Itsehi tribe from the east.

>>16507150

> he believes Phyl's bullshit

Did he tell you the one about when he had a shoggoth wrap itself around him and he went around campus driving everyone insane cause that's bullshit and he ALWAYS tells that one

>>16507141
Yes, I think there was a caravan from your lands while I was there.
I traded you a bottled fire spirit for your forges for a large emerald and a few vials of obsidian dust.
Still have that emerald around my neck right now. Have a greater Earth Elemental bound to it now, as a last resort if I'm cornered. Hope they followed my instructions about that fire spirit. If they used it right, it would negate the need for fuel for about nine months. If not... Well, I hope you had more than one forge?

>>16507137
Do yourself and the other students a favor and don't Planar Bind without a really good reason, okay?
Not saying you'll fuck it up or anything, but I don't know if you were there when everyone in that one conjuration class suddenly became borderline retarded.
Apparently, one of the students had bound an Efreeti and asked it to "make him pass his exam."
It turns out the thing had decided to lower the grade curve instead of just letting him pass.

>>16507172
Hey now, that one's actually true. I'm here on my doctorate and had a ward up at the time, so I could see it and not go mad.

Why he thought that was a good idea I can't even imagine, but it was hilarious watching the freshmen gibbering and running.

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRDDDDDSSSSSSSS

>>16507174
Was this an exchange? Or a personal trip? I'd really like to go visit one of the tribes one of these days.

>>16507133

What are you? A mortal?
I would hit her with the force of a thousand suns while she passively lies on one of her mortuary slabs, with those eyes just staring at me .. not blinking once as I ram my cock into her.

She might exhale a little when I make her cum, and it will be SO worth it. Blood Elf mortal necromancers, those girls have DISCIPLINE!

>>16507188
Student?
No, I do lectures from time to time, but I graduated a few years ago.
I do that shit in my tower now. I have a permanent circle and contingencies out the wing-wang. Cost me almost as much as college did on it's own, but I've ensured that is things go wrong, worst case scenario, my tower and I will become dust on the pavement. I had to in order to be allowed to build it within the city.
... Also, my "tower" is really just a few stories high. Looks like any other downtown apartment building. I don't want to be conspicuous.

>>16507210
Are you one of those liches who floats around in groups and sketches pictures of all the female Elves on campus?
As an aside, how the hell do you manage to get any pussy looking like that?
I mean, when you're going for eternal life, looks aren't exactly your priority.

>>16507150
Did the winner face Nagash?

You bunch have no clue how tough bards have it. Our dean is a diviner for some godforsaken reason and all prospective PhDs are required to write an entire epic and spread it around within a month. After you return, he determines if the epic is still told a hundred years later. If it is, welcome to the bard faculty! Your first assignment is writing another epic, this time to last for 1000 years.

Assholes, all of them.

>>16507200
Well, it was more like field study.
I had six months to learn all I could about nature spirits and elementals. I was to procure at least one item capable of holding a bound elemental lord permanently, and I had to leave the tribe on good terms.
Ask the dean for paperwork, they're pretty cool about it. The divination stuff is pretty primitive, but you can't argue with taking drugs and being ordered to fuck young women to increase the high and satisfy the body completely.
It's to help train your astral awareness so remote viewing becomes easier. Eventually, their prophets can stand on hot coals with a sword in their gut and still cast completely, because they're so comfortable with leaving their body.
Just remember: All fun and games first, then hard discipline and practice later. Be ready.

>>16507216
>>16507255
Dropped my name.

>>16507174
I have not been back to see my tribe in a few years, being out exploring other lands as I have been... but the Frost-Iron tribe is known for their metalwork, and our shamans are wise and cunning in dealing with the spirits of stone and flame to aid in such creations. All shall be well.

>>16507230

brotip : That Blood Elf chick looks at dying, sickened flesh every day. She's waaaay past caring if you know what I mean. Oh, she's too proud to Ascend but nothing turns her on more than if you just whispered to her what it feels like to die and Rise as a Lich. She wants in bad!

Do you know just how fucking much they pay artificer/shapeshifter dual majors? I'm going to make fucking bank and all I'll have to do is crawl around a few vents nobody else can fit in...

>>16507276
I'm glad. One of the guys was really young, and kept looking at it like it was going to explode.
To be fair, it could if someone dropped it, but I spent six hours on that bottle shatterproofing and strengthening it. It would take a hero's hammer to shatter that thing.
Wnat I was most worried about is if they opened it, but I doubt they did.

>>16507285
Oh gods, so many bone puns.
I shall refrain.

>>16507194

Yes, we're nerds. You are mortal. When your flesh fails and you fall, like all flesh must, you will serve us. I'll even bind your soul to your new zombie form just so I can laugh at you once in a while.

>>16507299
I am sure they did, but as I said, my people know well how to bind and tame such unruly creatures - yours is not the first fire-spirit to aid us, though we welcome your gift, as spirits of flame are hard to find in lands of ice, and are far more consistent in their heat than burning wood or fire-stone for our smithing.

Guys...I am thinking of taking Intro to Swordsaging. Try and talk me out of it

>>16507339
How often would you need to hit things with a sword?

Hey guys, have you heard or seen the Vampire Bride on campus?

Blonde hair, dead blue eyes, one arm... she's probably doing Evocation, saw her walk out the building once.

Slayer major here.

Taking notes on this whole topic, lol

What the FUCK.

Which one of you assholes put that level-draining amulet on me when I passed out after the kegger last night? I woke up today as a fucking Wight, and I'm majoring in Clerical Studies with the Pelorites.


I HOPE YOU'RE SATISFIED, PUNK, YOU JUST UNDID SEVERAL YEARS OF MY LIFE. FUCK, I DON'T EVEN HAVE A LIFE NOW, GODS-DAMN-IT.

>>16507339
There's no way to know if you have the talent for it or not.
Only certain people can weave energies in that way, and you'll easily be in your third year before you even begin practical study. Before then, it's all physical training, theory, and drills.
I'd take another look at the basic schools first. Sure, there's a hundred of us to each swordsage, but we have more or less complete control over reality within our respective areas of learning. You learn combat techniques only. Face it, you'll only have the life of a soldier to look forward too.
If glory is your thing, go for it. If you'd prefer to be productive, come with us.

If you want to be useless, study Evocation.
(I'm kidding guys)

So, umm OP, where you planning on doing this and when? Pally bro here, so you know I'm all about helping people out...

What's that?

Oh no...has nothing to do with that final exam thing about "having to kill a lich". Anyway, that's not true, we just give a skeleton a wand of lightning and kill that...honest. That's definitely the exam, and I'm not terribly desperate. At all.

>>16507371
Chill out.
Get a raise or reincarnation ready.
Let them turn you to dust, then raise you.
It's probably not the first time it's happened.
Then swing by the divination wing and find the fucker. That's expulsion they're facing, right there.

>>16507378


Well I've just wrote to Games Workshop and told them CS Goto has to write the "Siege of the Emperor's Palace" book for the Horus Heresy series

Then I called the 700 club and asked them to pray for Portia de Rossi to die of AIDS.

That should be extra evil, I'll wake up a demilich

>Roommate is half black dragon

Ugh. Fucking AGAIN? I'm not specieist or anything but fucking half dragons piss me off. They always act like they are so much better than you and will never do the fucking chores like they are supposed to. Honestly, the only thing they ever bother cleaning is their room which is usually only an organized heap of shit they don't need.

>>16507425
Got money?
Get a private dorm.
If not, join a fraternity.
You can sleep there. You just have to be bros with the guys.

>>16507399
Hrm...that might even shut Gallahard up with his "I got lucky as hell and took down a draco lich" bullshit even though all he did was trip over the phylactery after everyone else popped off the body...

Erm...oh yeah. Demilich eh? So, Umm. Yeah, I'll be there. Don't mind the draft wagon I'll have with me. That huge barrel will be full of hol..erm, celebratory wine. A sparkling one. Yeah, so we can't open it until you wake up...we'll need to have it placed over you for the ritual...no biggie, I can get some cler...erm some longshoremen to help out with that. When you awaken, we'll have it set up to where it showers us all in celebration as is umm, a new tradition of reawakening to symbolize the washing of sin...umm awakening of power. After that, it'll trickle into a champagne glass tower allowing us all to toast your defea...long unlife.

We'll also bring some of those little sausages on a stick.

>>16507425
Well, at least you're pretty sure no one will fuck around around there.

Got this damned changeling bastard next door. Fucker is perma-high and if he decides that his favorite socks are in your room, you better start to pray he doesn't turn everything upside-down to find it. Just kidding, he'll do anyway. Several times a week.

>>16507115
Honestly, so long as she doesn't try to use me as a sacrifice to dark gods or something.

Last time I date in the Applied Theology department, tell you that.

Does no one simply pick the possession route anymore?

I died, then got up 3 days later a full shade, and am looking at a long and healthy life..

>>16507526
>died
>long and healthy life

Even I am aware of the ironic choice of words here.

>>16507551

Disease resistance, a multiplied lifespan, I can run off of a crapload less of food.

I think my words are apt.

>>16507559

that Blood Elf chick thinks she can beat your undead disease resistance... no idea how THAT works but yeah

How come nobody's taking illusion anymore?

I mean I want sweet job in entertaiment industry one day and you can't do that with evocation major.

>>16507589
Well, she's mad as a hatter and studies disease-craft, right ? Maybe she created some kind of undaids.

I suddenly feels sorry for that lich guy who said earlier that he had fun time with her.

>>16507608
Sure you can. One of my boys is an evoker touring with a heavy metal bard.

>>16507638
Heavy metal is so last century. Besides illusionist could do better.

Things that are dead should remain so. It angers the spirits of one's ancestors and pains the soul of oneself to fight against the proper way of things - that the living die once and do not return from that death to live again. This is why those who exist beyond the grave are so full of hate and torment - they know their very existence is an offense to the gods.

>>16507620
It might sound wierd but i hope so. I am a cancer mage and I would realy like to find a girl that wasnt put off by that fact.

>>16507671
If you were worried about that then you probably should've picked a different major.

>>16507620

so.. this girl.. she's

1. Alive
2. Elf
3. Really passive in bed

Sounds hot dudes.. anyone got her name or stats?

>>16507660
In some ways, maybe, but illusion can't actually set people on fire. The fans and band are a little...umm extreme.

He gets all kinds of tail too, but from his stories they're all the seriously twisted kind of chicks into fire during sex kinda deal. You know, no eyebrows, bald spots from hair being burned off...

>>16507682
No, no its alright, but it would just be good to have someone to be with, know what I am saying?

>>16507720
You can always buy a slave. Hell, I can sell you some. Of course if you are lazy asshole and can't be bothered breaking her yourself, then you will have to look somewhere else as our company doesn't do the processing. We just raid.

>>16507804
How long do you think a salave would last under a cancer mage?

>>16507706
Sounds... hot.
(Ba dum TISH)
So, I just had a client come in. I promised him a stone that creates a normal fire whenever it is struck by a piece of metal (put in fireplace, hit with poker, boom, instant ambiance!).
He's pissed because he thought it would create fires wherever he wanted. He came in with burned hands and demanded that I not only refund him, but pay for his medical expenses as well.
I showed him the contract and where the exact effects of the item were described in detail. He ripped them to shreds.
I set my guards on him. I have two roper statues that can become real ropers for a total of one hour a day each. I use them for situations like this. They held the guy still while I called the guard, showed them my copies of the contract, and also slapped him with attempting to evade a contract (because he tore them up).
I may be nice, but I'm not taking shit from a wannabe arsonist. Anyone else have any mixups like this?

>>16507833
Hey.
If you got the money, I can summon you a friend of the evening.
Guaranteed disease-proof, too. Of course, you can't live with them. As soon as the magic is over, they're gone.
If you have a lot more money, I can make a statue that turns into the same girl for X amount of time every day/week/month/whatever. She'd even keep her memories from previous times, too! Sort of like a pocket wife!
Only issue is: They aren't real, in a sense. They're automatons programmed to react like real people. They have no souls, no real feelings, and no personality outside their programming. Still, it's nice to have a warm body to lay beside some nights!
It's up to you.

>>16507833
I belive modron would work just fine, but thing needs to be processed. Perhaps a deva, they are bitch to break but I bet it could last a while even under cancer mage.

>>16506980
Silly, Lichs resurrect beside their phylactery in a few days or weeks. Unless it's destroyed, then you have nothing to worry about.

As for Prof. Phyl, I thought his ass was fired? Something along the lines of unexceptable death rate.

I double majored in Necromancy and Archery, one the very few humans to do so. Although I did use firearms, they need to update their program. They almost threw a cow when I showed up in my sombero and duster.

>>16507869
Cut that shit conjurer boy. Nothing beats thinking companion. Even the most horny and desperate grow frustrated with those "friends". That crap will ruin your sex life forever and I say better no sex than bad sex.

>>16507934
Hey, can't blame me for trying to make a buck.
Well... I could help with the calling of an otherworldly being...
Oh fuck I'm an idiot.
I'll get my cleric friends to help. They can make a ring or something of Resist Diseases.
Just give it to the girl whenever you guys get busy. Problem solved! You don't even need me for that transaction.

>>16507869
Using sorcery to gain a bed-warmer? Truly, wizards are fools. What kinda of man can call himself a man if he lacks the stones to claim whatever woman he chooses? I say that is no man at all.

>there itselvis
What? The bard-king is nearby? Wise oracle Captcha, are your words truth?!

>>16508113
You heard the beast man, lets go all hypnotize and then rape some random girl.

>>16508199
Your ancestors' spirits must weep daily at your ignorance.

I have no need of mind-tricks or force. Nor do any of my people, despite what your so-called "wise men" and "scholars" claim in their bitter jealousy.

Women are attracted to those who are strong, who can defend themselves and that which is theirs, who are confident and brave... to men who are indeed Men. And the men of my people are all of these things. Women come to us, we need not pursue them or force them to give themselves to us.

What "manliness" is there in burying oneself in study all day, avoiding the refreshment of the outdoors, growing pale and thin and sickly all to learn a new way to wiggle one's fingers to conjure a different color of flame or spark?

>>16508113
Hey, I'm just providing what any whorehouse would, without spreading disease.
I personally can't engage in coitus. It would violate my deal with the Goddess. Basically, if I want to summon her servants, either I have to stay chaste or join her clergy.
I've thought about it, believe me. I think they're trying to rope me in by even making the deal. I'm not going to fall for it though. I have plenty of willpower and honestly, I get a lot of fulfillment out of making the few items I'm commissioned to do and conducting the ceremonies for the church.
Unfortunately, I have to watch. All of it. Some of their older members... ew. Still, the pay is very good. I intend to go for about two more months, then stop with that and expand my business, maybe raise my tower a bit and join the Circle. I hate politics though...

>>16508262
That women are attracted to dumb muscle and assholes is an universal constant.

Brute strength could be useful for pummelling down beasts and other mindless things, but in the long run, mind prevails over strength.

>>16508262


I dunno about you but I get Blood Elf poontang just by asking.

Or maybe she doesn't resist.

Did you remember to buy a high-quality phylactery? Decomposed bitches love a high-quality phylactery.

>>16508308
Hmph... dumb muscle? Mindless brute? Truly, is that all you have been led to believe a Barbarian is? Then I pity your lack of knowledge... for one day you surely will make such claims to someone who truly does fit such loathed beliefs, and his wrath will make you pay dearly for your words.

>>16508308
Dude, like I said, don't underestimate the "savages".
I bet any one of them could take you one-on-one even if you had a whole day to prepare.

>>16508399

Rogue here.

My ring of non-detection says hi.

Just wondering, who among you is the wealthiest?

>>16508388
Oh, I already have that covered. I'm majoring in translocations for this very reason: to put myself away from danger.
Minoring in artifices and archery to deal with problems from afar as well. Like the other anon above, also using modern guns (I really like to use rifles) for a modern world instead of antiquated bows and arrows.

>>16508419
> Students in magic and shit
> Wealthy
Yeah, no. Try the paladin church maybe.

>>16508399
Indeed conjuror. My people might seem simple at first, lacking knowledge of matters like complex spellcraft and bearing poor skill with the more "refined" methods... but what we do know, we have known and passed along for generations; the deeper, primal magicks, the sort from which druids and shamans build their strengths, the sort that those who taught your masters' masters first learned and adapted into that which you call familiar.

Our elders' craft is not as flashy, or and elaborate, but it works, and does so well enough.

>>16508399
Those savages are nothing from a relic from eons past. I'm happy that their population is in decline as younger, more intelligent individuals flee their stone age camps and go to the big cities.

>>16508459
I'm a man who believes in constant advancement, a man that believes that having your roots in the past spells sure doom in the present.

>>16508498
Decline?
No no nonono. They THRIVE. Just not nearby civilization anymore.
Then again, I bet you stay within the city walls, never setting foot on uncobbled ground. You think we've actually tamed the wild? We merely hold it at bay.

>>16508498
A man who forgets the wisdom of the past has only foolishness in his future.

>>16508535
Hah! Conjuror, you, my friend, I think I like. It is rare to find a man of spellcraft so willing to speak out against the common beliefs your kind often cling to regarding things outside your circle. Refreshing, your boldness is, to my ear.

Fighter here.

All the insecurity and lack of worldly knowledge of a city dweller with all of the lack of academic knowledge of a barbarian.

>>16508535

You may not be able to tame it, but I know I can. That undeath was not for show. It was to ease a conversion to allow for the control of space and time itself, a power you can't even get from phylacteries.

>>16508578
Worry not, my armored brother. There is more to life than what lay in books, and great adventure to be found when one goes traveling. You merely lack the confidence and motivation to pursue it! Seek me out later, and we shall go adventuring together, that I might teach you, if you desire it, of all the greatness and knowledge that lay outside a castle's walls.

>>16508565
Come on, stop with the whole "noble barbarian" BS. We all know that your mother was jealous of some noble biddy your dad stole and raped to death, sent you to the big city for an education, and pretends that meat she serves is anything other than long pork.

Good on you for trying to better yourself, but don't put on airs.

>>16508535
Civilization must spread larger and wider, until "the wilds" is nothing but a memory of how inconvenient it was.

>>16508565
What I have learned from the past is that it is full of errors to never commit again.

Fuck You Guys
you're all arrogants mothefuckers who think they're better than the rest of the common people.
I'm doing my honest to god work as a Cleric, healing people, saving souls & giving advices to broken hearts when a bunch of Wizard Students, appeared and started to explode shit up in our school. then when we managed to catch them before they could do more damage, the Head Wizard appeared with the smugest smile i ever had the displeasure to see and Demanded the release of the students saying
"Ooooh, We're Above Normal Laws"
Fuck You Guys, when i become the head of the church i'll start a Holy Crusade against you guys

>>16508535
It's not as hot as you might think. I mean we occasionaly do a slave raid deep in the wilderness just to get some. Always lose some guys as these savages are pretty damn good warriors, but arenas pay crazy money for them which makes it worth it. Sadly, lately they seem to be less numerous and better organizen making it pretty rare event to run into small group humble slaver can pick on.

>>16508620

And when you do, you'll have earned a special spot on my unbirth list.

>>16508607
"Noble barbarian" is by itself a contradiction, at that.

>>16508607
>>*Charging (flying kick feat activate) Sneak attack (Throat punch, -2d6 for 3 rounds silence* Stunning fist (Weakening touch) -6 str, no save.

Flying muscle-loosening pressurepoint sneak attack kick to the throat, asswipe.

what you gonna say?

Nothing, your throat is collapsed.

Necro-gunmage here, don't knock on Barbarians. I have a friend that went through a PHD in ragenomics, that stuff makes my head spin.

>>16508638
>>16508639
>>16508647
Ooh, critical!

>>roundabout kick feat activate
>>Free attack

SPINNING KICK TO THE THROAT!
>>Another critical
SPINNING KICK TO THE THROAT!

>>16508638
>Implying you wouldn't love me by then

Charisma works wonder

>>16508607
Just because I know how to speak more than my own name and a handful or other monosyllable grunts, and that such a thing shatters your narrowminded view of barbarians as nothing other than walls of meat to hide behind... don't think for a moment that I am unwilling to draw upon the fury of my people in a ghost of a moment and split you from eyebrows to gonads with a warcry that will send your ancestors' bones to tremble in their graves.

I am more patient and wise than many of my clan-brothers, but I am still a barbarian just as much as they are, and this axe is not some decorative wall-hanging plucked from over a nobleman's mantlepiece. I have slain giants and ogres and more with this blade and these muscles. Do not test me boy, you will not find yourself the victor if you do.

>>16508676

>Implying my charisma and willpower don't exceed that.

I'm bending time itself. I probably have higher will than you do charisma.

Look, everybody just calm down, and shout "KICK TO THE THROAT!"

It's the most amazing thing to say. Just try it. IT FEELS SO GOOD!

>>they go to school to learn magic

laughingsorceresses.jpeg

Ranger here. Fuck all you in your towers and warm featherbeds, after the first class of first year, they moved us all to a seperate campus, aka 3500 klicks square, and we had to survive there for two years, AND come out with an animal companion, to be ready for 4th year, where they dropped you in a 'wilderness' demi-plane, where you had to survive for a year, as the only sapient being in a world that could be anything from endless tundra to a thick jungle. (one kid in my class, who had a rhino companion was dropped into an ocean demi-plane. We never heard from him again)

in short, Realy learning doesn't come without a struggle.

>>16508718

I like the sorcerous.

They are naturally magical, so you can abuse them as a source of magical power, instead of as someone who merely creates spell structure.

My interdimensional flying warship is powered by them.

>>16508677
You're all words and hot air and no deeds. If you're as intelligent as you say you are, you should easily be able to handle a camera without breaking it and record yourself slaying ogres or whatnot.

And I have seen your very axe in a decorative weapons site.

>>16508620

Damnit, this is why the Applied Theurgy major gets such a bad rap. Yes, some of the gods do take a hostile stance toward magic. But guess what? WE USE MAGIC, TOO. Same shit that all the other little spellslingers use every day, with only the font of our power being any different.

Actually, no. I take that back. They're no different. The same ambient magic that permeates the various universes is used by god and wizard alike. Theurgists (like me and I reluctantly say you) just have it channeled through a god first.

Man. I wish more people understood that. Being an Oghman Theurgist is hard sometimes, because all the other students just want to go crusading or prosyletize, when they could be brushing up on their spellcasting like they should be! How hard is it to apply yourself to something that doesn't require you to swing a mace, guys? (No offense to you Practical Violence majors.)

I think I might switch soon and go Mystic Theurge for a while. I hear they have some great benefits. Any other theurges, Mystic or otherwise, out there willing to share their stories?

Yo, Barbarian guy? You know the Hrig tribe to the North-West? The guys with the salamander totem? If so, I'd like some info on 'em. Going there in like two months, and I need to know how to handle their needs.

I'm a dabbler, BTW, a dualist. Which one, you ask? Uh, well... I'm arcane/divine, and I'm mostly just trying to help people out. I don't really care who you are, if you're in trouble I'll help you. Majored in both Universalist Wizarding and Principle of Altruism. Shit's pretty nice, and my afterlife'll rock. Besides, angels are probably the nicest beings I've ever met. I'll give 'em favours just for the conversations. Never gets dull :).

>>16508677
Shattering? No, just being exactly what I expect of any jumped-up cannibal and bone-worshiper. That you put threat to someone for simply putting voice to what everyone says is proof positive. That you don't deny is further evidence.
So I ask you, is truth offensive to you and your ancestors? Is merely speaking the truth something shameful, to be dealt with brutally? Is that the measure of honor to your kind?

I say this is truth because you had the opportunity to say otherwise but chose not to. Would you threaten to draw steel on a child who spoke of what his or her playmates spoke of as the truth or would you correct them and move to more permanent solutions after they persist in error?

You disgust me. Not for your primitive ways, but for your hypocrisy of claiming to honor those who passed before you and then acting as if their traditions and their acts are matters of shame. I imagine your ancestors feel much the same.

So yes, kill me if you must, but know that my blood will further mar your honor in that you were to shameful of who you are to take a moment to correct an errant child if I am wrong or proudly embrace your people if I am right.

>>16508437
I though I saw another gun user in Archery. I also tend to use a rifle but my favorite weapon is the pump action shotgun. I got a few alchemist/artificer friends that give me some alchemist shells every month or so. In return I tend to help them out with the ladies, or if they're desperate I keep a few zombie hookers around. Kept fresh via necromancy, they're just like a real hooker. Except you don't pay, and are disease free.

>>16508729
Every class of importance comes with its danger.
As a translocations mage, I have to practice for hours everyday so to not some day blink while leaving my brain behind.
Especially given that once, in second year, while learning how to apport small objects to my hands I instead somehow managed to apport a heavy iron sphere right into my stomach.
That wasn't fun at all.

>>16508763
...ca-mer-a? I do not recognize this word you use. It sounds like some sort of magical device. I do not have skill in handling such things.

And where is this site that crafts imitations of my people's bladework? I shall teach them not to make mockery of the Frost-Iron clan's crafting!

>>16508813

I dunno about Principles of Altruism, but Universal Wizarding, and it's successor classes Universal Theory and Unified Arcana both look really tempting. Hard to get into, though, but I shouldn't have too much trouble having worked so long under a god of knowledge. I've already read some of the coursework. It's amazing!

The afterlife benefits package does sound tempting, and you're right, angels are very nice people (and nice to look at, too~). They do tend to be single-minded, though, which makes it hard to have a good conversation with them.

>>16508774
Hah, funny there. You could say I'm a theurge, but I'm really just very into the Good side of things. As said, major'd in Altruism. I was one of like, five that year. All the others switched to Universal Law or some shit. But eh. Oh and yeah, being a Theurge has it's advantages: you get respect both in the clerical and the wizardly world, you can access a FUCKTON of spells (not as powerful, but goddamn some of the tricks I've pulled with two 1st spells...) and you get a good feeling in your heart whenever you do your work (at least I do :)).

Stop hating each other guys.

Instead of hating each other, we should be lynching the kender exchange students.

Druid here. I bet none of you sorry asses knew fey chicks were so damn easy. Course, I do have to carry antifungal with me ALL the time. Don't ask why.

>>16508830

The only thing worse than that is losing a foot in the next century. Especially when prosthetics aren't really cheap.

>>16508855
UW really lands you jobs mate. I mean sure, PoA gives me the afterlife package and the angels and the feeling that I'm constantly on magically-infused Ecstasy, and thusly is epic, but the money comes from my UW exam. Oh and UW includes basic Wonder-making, which lets me make Wonderous potions. Let me tell you, those things are AWESOME. And also, side-effect free drugs.

>TL;DR: UW+PoA gets you high on life, all the time and gets you monies

>>16508813
The Hrig... I know some things of them, though not much. They are proud people, almost boastful. If they ask you to tell them of a great deed of yours, be sure to speak boldly, and do not fear embellishing the truth to make for a good tale - but do not lie. Just as their totem salamander is said to walk through fire unscarred, they can tell when a lie burns the lips of he who speaks it, and to purposely lie to one of them is a dire insult. Also, it is likely, should they find you favorable, that they will offer you a fine horse or goat when you leave. Take it, even if you need it not, for they consider it rude to reject a gift of parting, as it suggests they are unworthy to see you again, even if you do not intend to actually return.

>>16508817
I know truth. I strive to speak only truth, and thus to honor my ancestors. Your words are only lies - your ancestors surely must weep in shame when you open your mouth to speak.

>>16508829
Alchemically or magically enhanced bullets are hot shit. I did make so that my other minor is artificing for this same reason, not as well as a full artificer, but it does the job. have you seen self stabilizing rifle cartridges? Equipped with a nice scope, I can plink a coin from 500 metres!
You say you favor shotguns, right? Tell me your thoughts on Dragon Breath shells.

>>16507686
>1. Alive
Dohoho... You're in for a surprise if you thought that Blood Elf girl was alive. Not every undead looks like a shambling bag of bones. Gentle Repose, man. It's one hell of an enchantment.

Enjoy your surprise necrophilia, mortal-fag.

>>16508856

Versatility can give you an edge with a good imagination and a little mental gymnastics. And mine is... well I'm not usually one to brag but my brain is pretty flexible. Being an undergrad in an Oghman temple requires it, almost. Or just lots of hard work, or both.

Tangents, sorry.

So, Good deeds? I'll have to give those a try. I'm more a 'True Neutral' kind of guy, but only because I focus on books and learning and the moral requirement of objectivity in all intellectual pursuits, than because of some disagreement with the credos of other alignments. I think I might dabble a bit in Evil first. Just to see what it feels like. Nothing, you know, TOO extreme. Just a little petty evil here and there to try it.

And then I'll see where Good takes me.

WHAT VILE DEN OF NECROMANCY IS THIS?

IN THE NAME OF PELOR I WILL SMITE YOU

>>16508889

Then look for me in your class next semester! I'll get started on the prereqs right now, which I should have most of already except for labs. I wonder if I should get those waived... Nah. Lab's too much fun.

What about Unified Arcana and Universal Theory?

>>16508875

Oh yeah, fuck the kender students. Little shits stole my fourth thesis last month and it took forever to get it back from them. I swear they're running some sort of ring, but no one can catch them. The faculty needs to come down harder on them, or kick them out entirely.

Maybe I can go practice some Evil on them...

>>16508929
Remember that Death shall claim even you some day.

Unless you want your body shuffling around as a rotting servant of evil for all eternity, don't piss off the necromancy community.

>>16508929

Chill man. I really don't want to have to burn a 4th level spell to PaO you.

Just grab some ale and join the discussion.

>>16508929
you're on the wrong campus again asshole. Go fuck up your turning somewhere else, we have shit to do.

>>16508832
Not exactly magical, as it doesn't bend any rules of nature to work. How you're using the Aethernet but don't know what a camera is, I have no idea nor it surprises me.
As for the site, use your favourite Aethernet searcher, I forgot the exact site, just that they had a lot of ads some months ago.

>>16508882
I know a friend who somehow managed to blink face first into a stone wall.

Then an artificer specializing in golems made a janitorial golem out of that wall, and somehow remembers everything. He says that it fell like being "very full".

>>16508952

Well, I'll be dead then and not using it. So you're welcome to it if you want. After I'm dead of natural causes and such. Not saying you should just come up and take it, as that'd be rude.

Sorcerer here, freshman. Why do all my classmates in Evocation 1101 give me these dirty looks? I'm just here to learn...

>>16508929

Cool it with the fire and brimstone, chief. There's nothing wrong with necromancy. HEALING is technically necromancy, and is still classified under that heading. Turning is also necromancy.

Just calm down and actually READ your holy textbooks, instead of listening to all the demagoguery. You might also want to think about taking an Oghman class or two. I recommend 'The Moral Imperative of Objectivity'. Great class, and it applies to any major. Even Practical Violence and Industrial Alchemy.

>>16508946
I will. How do you look? You'll probably recognise me, I'm the only Sun Elf in the class. And if you wanna, I'll give you some brotips.
1. Don't use Prestidigitation in class, ever, for any purpose. Prof. Ewa will WRECK your shit.

>>16508899
Thanks, bro! I really needed that info. Oh, do you know anything about their religion? When people see me walking around in white and red robes they usually think I'm a priest...

((OOC, and I'm sorry to ask this of you /tg/, but how do I trip? Situations such as this could possibly benifit from it, as Barbarian-bro's proven. Also, you're kinda the only board I visit, and I visit alot.))

>>16508978
>natural causes
Well that's no fun. What if I ask very politely, and promise you a nice painless death?

I could really use another corpse right about now... Please?

>>16508997

Because most sorcerors tend to be arrogant, self-centered shitstickers with a trumped up sense of their own worth. We get that a lot on the divine side of things, with the Blessed Souls. Yes, you've been handpicked by a god to channel his or her or its might directly, but that doesn't make you special.

Remember, just because you have great talent in something doesn't mean you don't have to apply yourself. Most of the Blessed Soul students have failing marks in every class because they can't be arsed to do the work.

Humility and hard work's the key. Talent just helps.


Now I'm gonna find some kenders to kick.

None of you are allowed to complain about roommates. Creepy antisocial fuck just summoned an alternate version of himself with a different major and they're making out all over my coursework.

Fucking creepy demonologists....

>>16509028
Fuckdammit, forgot my name.

>University ildwis

Yes captcha, I'm in Uni. But not in Ildwis!

>>16508969
I know there are word that appear on this crystal tablet, and I can touch these small runes on this other tablet to write what I wish to say on the crystal. It is like writing a letter, but with tablets instead of ink and parchment.

>>16509031

I'm kind of attached to it at the moment. I've e-mailed you the local obituaries list. You can see which of them is willing to give you their body. Family can be kind of sensitive about it, though, so tread carefully and be polite.

>>16508969

Damn. Makes me glad I went full Prosthetic and took extra classes in duplication.

2 time sorcerers are always better than one.

>>16509051
Just get him to summon a female version of yourself, and stop being such a bloody prude.

>>16509075
Well, thanks anyway. Do let me know if you're ever feeling a bit, um, mortally ill. The fresher the body, the better, you know!

>>16509028
We of the northern lands are not like those in the cities, who quarrel and seek to war over our gods and which is best. If you know of some gods that some northern clans follow, then it is likely the Hrig follow them as well, and if not, then surely they will teach you of their gods - we fight over more important things than whose gods are better, like hunting grounds and where to camp in the bitter winters. If a man says to me that his gods of wind or sky are better than my mountain-god Cruach, then I laugh at him, he laughs at me, then we feast together. The gods do not fight between themselves who is better, so why should we fight to decide such a thing for them?

So guys, anyone can help with this problem i got?

I am in the advanced courses, sure, it is good.... usually that is. Unfortunately i got problems with another student, normally that is no problem, so he is a cockbag, then we just find some way to strike back through spell or more mundane means. Hell, a friend of mine hired a few thugs to beat the assholitude out of this really annoying gnome Illusionist who pranked us all the time.

But this time, no dice. It is a fucking child prodigy who have already joined the Initiates of the Sevenfold Veils. He is arrogant, smarmy, snitches to the teachers, is the best in just about all the tests and he is fucking invincible.

>>16509117
Well, excellent then. Then I won't have to suffer as I did in the East last time I was there... Thought I was a priest of... Bane. Shit was bad.

>>16509152

Alter self.

Ruin his fucking name in the city.

>>16509112

Asexual, bro. I'm not into that stuff.

'sides, I'm pretty sure that guy across the square keeps trying to watch and stuff. I really should've gone on that exchange trip with the Drow they were talking about last year...

>>16509086
Actually, you seem like a prime candidate for lichdom. Somehow managed to rip yourself apart in the time stream? BAM you appear again near your phylactery.

>>16509152
Those kind of kids tend to fall apart on their own, just wait some years.

>>16509160
I confess I am not familiar with the gods outside of the northlands other tham some names, such as the sun god Pelor or the magic god Elminster, and even some of them I am uncertain if I am correct in what I know. Who is Bane, and why is being mistaken for his servant bad? Is he an evil god?

>>16509180

I'm already technically a phylactery. Went full warforged with psionic crystal matrix holding my soul together.

>>16509152
Hmm... Good old-fashioned psychology. Bring him down a peg or two. Yes, I don't need to be nice to everyone, and I am allowed to take people like that down. Also, overload of positive energy when asleep. Oh, how sad that you now have cancer.

>>16509170

Tried it, found out he is loaded, he got diviner buddies, it backfired, luckily we managed to scapegoat that annoying gnome illusionist.

Anyways subtle don't work too good for me anymore.

Fuck dad and his "Become a bloatmage, son, all the wizards in our family have been bloatmages."

So now i am a human blimp with rage issues and hemophilia.

>>16509186
Bane is... Bad. Being mistaken for his clergy in the East is tantamount to suicide. I discovered that the hard way. First and so far last time I've ever had to fight anyone. It was disgusting. I abhor using magic to hurt people. But hey, I'm goddamn Sun Elf Theurge. I haven't got time to work out in Uni!

Uh, guys, I'm a Conjuration major, still a bit new at this, and I think I fucked up, because I did an assignment for Professor Urimgol, and now I've got a succubus following me around everywhere I go. She changes to fit in and hasn't said a word out of place yet, just pretends she's my friend or sister or some shit, but she never lets herself be more than ten feet from me, even when I'm sleeping or going to the bathroom. It's creepy. What did I do, and how do I make her leave me alone?

>>16509186
Bane isn't a good guy. He values tyranny and dominance.
He DOES have some good points, like discipline, and he is a war god, but... he embodies the worst traits of war.

So, while I was away from the screen, I had visitors.
That religion I perform rituals for? They tried a forceful conversion on me.
Four young ladies came in and tried to entice me.
They tried very hard. Very. Hard. Indeed.
I managed to keep cool and get them re-dressed and out the door.
I think I need to have a talk with the abbot.

>>16508904
Wonderful. Really saved my hide against some trolls the otherday. Couldn't tell if they were pets gone loose or failed transmogrified students.

Shame they're so expensive. 1000g per shell. It took a month of adventuring to buy just two, and reagents for an exam in advanced rituals class.

>>16509258
Did that damn TA Fixbert get you to draw from his deck of many things again? If so, you probably got an outer planer being pissed at you and she's there to keep an eye on you/fuck you over when you least expect it.

Don't let her give you a hummer whatever you do.

>>16509258

Unless you're gay, or female and straight, congratulations son. You've hit the jackpot. You've fucked up in the best way ever. Sure, she's a demon and all, but it sounds like she's giving you space (or her version of it) and is trying to warm you up to her. Just use protection (of the negative energy type) and you'll be fine.

If you're not interested, then I'd be happy to show her how an Oghman treats a lady. Otherwise, good luck with her, bro!

>>16509193
Mind telling me how did you achieve your current self and how much did it cost? Because that could come in handy for me or any other mage specializing in such forces of nature.

And I could just warp the pieces back to me and reassemble myself in case of a severe mishap.

>>16509254
I see. In the northlands, our gods are strict and stern - as many things are in our world - but judgements many would think as harsh or cruel is done fairly; few northlands gods are truly Evil, and those that are have no worshipers... or at least, none who admit to worshiping them. They are beings of death and fear, not admiration and supplication.

>>16509258
Whoops.
Well, there are a few ways.
First, if there's an antimagic zone anywhere, go stand in that for a while. There is one in the basement, in the Enchantment classes somewhere, unless they moved it. If she enters it, she should disappear unless she isn't summoned.
If she isn't summoned, that can only mean she was Called. Calling is different than summoning. It brings a creature here on a semi-permanent basis for extended tasks. Normally, a bargain has to be made for a calling to work. Summoning puts chains on the summoned creature, while callings require ceremony and diplomacy.
If you Called her, she may be around for a long time. Try stopping and asking her what her business is, and if she is unwilling to make a deal, that you have no use for her.
Reject any and every deal she offers. Either she'll give up and un-Call herself, or you might find out other stuff, like... maybe someone else called her and made her follow you?
Whatever you do: Don't fuck her, don't kiss her, don't hug her, don't even hold her hand. You won't even realize your life force is being drained. Remain strong, and attack her if all else fails. Succubi are demons of stealth and trickery, and cannot stand up to a full assault.
Good luck, kid.

>>16509193

Yeah, I know. But you don't.

>>16509306
well, bane is truly Lawful Evil. I am a major in Principle of Altruism. See a problem here?

>>16509333

Sorry, misread the situation. Do all that, too. But don't give up hope that you have accidentally stumbled onto the waifu jackpot. With a little work you can make this work to your benefit! Just get some scrolls of negative energy protection and your soul will stay nice and safe where it should be.

Hell, I'm interested in this, now. I wanna see where it goes. Stop by the Oghman University-Temple and I'll hook you up with a couple I penned myself. In return, I want detailed reports from you. And a picture.

But do it today, because tomorrow I'll be practicing my kender-slapping.

>>16509300
Well, first you're going to need to become some form of undead (I found shade works best). Due to your undeath, you only need your brain and heart to survive.

You then take mythril, adamantine, and cold iron into a ritual smelting process to make quasitine, a panplanar metal capable of surviving time travel. The process is long and expensive, so being a shade allows you to replace one part at a time.

The last bit is to kill a shardmind. you'll take their crytal heart and mind and translocate them into your core, where you then overpower the remaining soul with a phylactery ritual.

From there you can choose to shard your soul, allowing you to create duplicates of yourself without use of conjuration. It also allows you to separate your emotions as well as ensure your continued existence by leaving a duplicate at end of time so you can port your shards there and reconstruct.

Really, this process renders you nigh invincible. It just requires you to have ample time, as well as time travel ability.


Also, when you're done, you should look me up. I'm still working on mapping out the totality of the multiverse spacetime.

>>16509333
I already asked her why she's here, she said something about how she's taking action to help me with my destiny, or some ominous shit like that, and when I told her I didn't want any help, she just told me "My help for you has already been paid for by another. I will help you in any way you need, whether you like it or not". And now I have a freaking angel following me around, too, a female one. She said the same thing as the succubus, and I think they know each other, because they used each other's names without being introduced, and have been sniping and glaring at each other all day. What the fuck is even going on?

>>16509375
I... would suggest not.
All it takes is her casting Dispel on you and she can leech from you while you sleep.
It may take months before you drop your guard, but it will happen.
If you didn't specifically make a contract, send her back to the Abyss. No good can come of it.

>>16509398
Someone is fucking with you.
Dispel them. Ask a teacher if you have to.
Destiny has a way of working out, assistance or not.

>>16509293
No bro, demons are serious business. One that's not trying to get you to sell your soul or steal it right away is most dangerous. This means they got something of yours, and waiting the right moment to claim their prize.

>>16509353
"Lawful Evil"? Bah. Mere words. I hold no belief in the ways your scholars measure such things - Evil is evil, it has no laws as men do, only convenient borders it can cross or stop at when it pleases it or suits its goals.

Evil is when the Grey Lord kills the wintergrass so it starves your cattle and their corpses poison your rivers so that your family dies when it is too cold to go forth and seek better lands. Evil is when She Who Hates slays a firstborn son fresh from his mother, when a man only has daughters otherwise, and is too old to raise another son to carry on his family name. Evil is when a warrior, rather than seek his fellow warrior to fight, pursues the weak and unskilled that he might have victory without effort. That, my friend, is evil.

>>16509399

Or it could be totally innocent, but you're right. Don't drop your guard. If you want it to work for you, you're going to have to apply yourself and push things along a bit. And stay vigilant, of course.

Also, I'd love to meet the fiend who could bust through my wards. Tough as greensteel, they are. Still, no sense in tempting fate. I'll see if I can lean on a buddy of mine who's even better at wardcraft. If, that is, you decide to keep her around.

>>16509398

That does sound ominous. Ominously hot, with the angel there, too.

I think you have been targeted by a student of Storybook Mechanics and Engineering. They don't do this kind of thing often, but when they do, it's pretty spectacular. Bending the rules of the universe to conform to popular tropes is pretty powerful stuff, but can backfire on them. Yours sounds like a harem anime. It's... Well the jury is out on how yours might end. Be prepared for pain.

That or you caught the attention of a raksha, which is even worse, and you should get a hold of some cold iron as soon as possible.

>>16509471

Or I could sell him one of my watches that sends the user to a prescribed place and time, and he could be done with all of this...

...BTW you'll need a metal rod.

Okay, that abbot just arrived.
Gonna have a chat with him about how I want out.
Seriously, I can't handle random distractions like that.

Has anyone here taken Advanced Arcanist Theory and Engineering? I've heard the theory part was boring but I haven't heard anything about the engineering part.

>>16509447
Depends on whether they come from "the Netherworld" or "a Netherworld". The former kind is serious bad news. The latter kind... can be seriously bad news, but mostly they're just really fucking weird. And they all seem to be firmly convinced that we live in a video game.

Those sewn-together peg-legged wing-a-ling penguin things are oddly endearing, though. And highly explosive.

>>16509398
I'd go to the dean of magic, he'll know what to do.

>>16509450
Egh, I'm inclined to agree with you, but ya know. The so-called civilization is quite odd when it comes to morals. Help some poor beggars by giving them money, yay, you're a saint. Actually try to abolish the root of the problem, and you're a subversive force in society and a danger to law and order...

>>16509494

But then where would be the fun of watching how this plays out? Skipping straight to the end?

...sorry, trying not to go overboard on the whole Evil thing. It does feel pretty awesome, and the schadenfreude is a definite plus. I'm new to non-Neutral alignments, so it's kind of going to my head.

>>16509450
Actually, Evil (capital E) is measurable and quantifiable. If you skim through the textbook for 'Mechanics of Horror' you'll find a scale detailing just that. You can, in fact, hold a unit of Evil (called a Curry, not to be confused with Curie which is radiation) in a container. It's tricky, and expensive, but I've seen it done.

Good's harder to do, but there's been research into it.

Law and Chaos are also quantifiable and measurable, though measuring Chaos is an effort in futility since its state is so fluid (or not) that it makes it essentially meaningless to try. And stabilizing it enough to get an accurate reading usually renders the whole point moot anyway. But it can be done. Just have to be careful about it, is all.

>>16509471
>>I think you have been targeted by a student of Storybook Mechanics and Engineering.
I...I'm pretty sure that's what happened. My most recent ex kept telling me she was a witch and got pissy when I asked her about Wicca, and I get the feeling she called in some favors of the warty, pointy-hatted variety.
This has been aided by the fact that I now have what I'm pretty sure are some kind of law and chaos spirits following me around, too...One's a slim girl with black eyes and ratty clothing that speaks only in ominous prophetic-sounding rhymes, iambic pentameter, I think, and the other is gold-skinned, gold-eyed, flaxen-haired, in golden armor...pimp as hell, frankly. She speaks bluntly and to the point, but with a freaky amount of reverb. I'm also about seconds from a planar catfight at any minute and people are starting to notice. And my banishments aren't working. Fuck!

>>16509550
>>A unit of evil (Called a Curry)
I thought KiloNazis were the industry standard.

>>16509550

Trust me, I'm as Chaotic Neutral as they get. Unbirthing just happens to be a very humane and easy way to get things done.

>>16509550
More of your complex arcanery and refined spellcraft... nonsense hiding in books.

The deep magicks hold the truth, not your ritualist theories and elaborate circles. Magic cannot be quantified and measured as simply as water in a cup or the size of a stone.

>>16509554

Oh. Uh... damn, bro. Bitches be crazy.

I'd recommend getting the guards in on this, because it sounds like it's about to either get really, really ugly, or really, really hot.

Either way, the guards will want to be there.

You may also want to get with the dean. What I know of Storybook Mechanics is saying that he already knows about it and is doing something, and I suggest you figure out what.

Also: Don't date witches. Not even the young hot ones. Nothing but trouble. I learned my lesson the hard way, too. Just not as... spectacularly as you are.

>>16509554
...
I know what this is.
It's a spell someone developed years before I was in school.
It's like... It's a summon spell, so you can rest easy about getting rid of them.
Basically, you become a nexus of great interest to minor beings from the Outer Planes.
Those aren't really angels and demons and whatnot.
They're... well, they're extremely minor elementals. They're taking forms from your mind and saying what they need to to get you to believe it.
It's harmless, but annoying.
It can also last for weeks. Go to the dean.
I still might be wrong, but I'm about 70% sure that's what it is.

>>16509581

You are a fool if you believe forces we observe can not be quantified. I am all for chaos to the Nth degree, but even I recognize there is an inherent order to everything, even the weave.

>>16509550
Good is all that is bliss and happiness and beautiful and love concentrated into a small, small package and then letting that package reside in your heart. It's, incidentally, awesome. But hey, according to the Department of Ethics, I'm 100% Neutral Good. According to them, I'm as pure as the Angels. Might explain why I get along with them so well...

Anywho, the abbot just left.
...
...
Apparently, I passed some kind of test.
He gave me an amulet of the Goddess and said that I was free to continue summoning, and that my restrictions were lifted.

I guess it's a test to see who really cares about the job and who just wants an easy way to get laid.
Hm.
This... this is weird.

>>16509597
Man, he's got a point. Quantifying everything might be possible, but is it really desirable? I just want to help people, and I don't see how quantifying Good or Evil helps the starving millions of the Q'iian Savannah.

>>16509581

Actually, it can. I've done it in the lab many times.

>>16509562
Kilonazi is the most widely used industry term because that's the usual quantity in most Evil things people study or work with. The most basic unit of Evil is the Curry. Ten Curries make a Price. One Hundred Prices make a Nazi. A thousand Nazis make a Kilonazi, and a thousand Kilonazis make a Hitler.

>>16509588
Oh, well that's good to hear. So he WAS targetted by a Storybook student? I hope this one has a happy ending, at least. The last one was just depressing.

I wish you luck, poor guy!

>>16509626
>>I don't see how quantifying Good or Evil helps the starving millions of the Q'iian Savannah.
It does when you can measure just how many KiloNazis of ULTIMATE ARCANE POWAAAAAH you can gain by melting them all down into arcane energy and eating the resulting energy sphere. That way, you've just become nigh-omnipotent, and they never have to worry about another meal ever again.

>>16509626

Well beyond a certain kilonazi threshold, there will arise a mentality which simultaneously will correct both the overpopulation and the starvation.

>>16509626
Indeed. There are greater things to be concerned with than how "good" something is or how much "evil" someone has. There is Good, and there is Evil, why need we dissect it further, like counting grains of sand in a bucket?

>>16509626


It helps us better understand ourselves. and when we understand ourselves, we can establish methods of ensuring the best out of every life. Frankly I don't care for it, but what works, works.

>>16509626
In my experience, the people who want to quantify something want to harness it as a resource.
Imagine if someone were to create potions with pure evil as a base instead of water or oil?
Conversely, pure good may make a potion that can keep a man sustained for a year, but... even extracting a drop of essence like that is really hard and takes a long time. Who has a lot of time? Undead.

>>16509639
>>I hope this one has a happy ending, at least. The last one was just depressing.
What? What happened? Seriously, tell me what happened to the last guy!

>>16509588
>>16509584
Um, the Dean just took a vacation, apparently out to some ass-backward part of Northern Europe, without telling anyone why, only claiming it was 'of great arcane and social importance, and many lives will hang on my safe completion of my charge'. Jesus fuck, why me?

>Kilonazis
Well that's just dumb. Assuming the existence of the Hells and the Abyss (which we should, as this appears to be D&D magic/cosmology inspired) then the natural, logical unit of evil measurement would be based on these outsiders who are literally manifestations of a certain amount of evil.

Wake up, county X, when are you going to shift to the Outsider system like the rest of the world?

I wore socks with sandals for the entirety of the previous day. Shit was so cash.

>>16509656
-sigh-
Can you get out?
Come to my shop. I'm on Castellan and Market; I have a sign out front showing water pouring out of a hat.
I'll get some stuff ready and see if we can't dispel them.

>>16509640
>>16509647
I'm going to assume you two are trolling. Seriously, aren't minors b& around here?
>>16509650
>>16509651
I can understand you guys, but ya see, can't really do the whole benevolent lich trick, as I'm pretty much dedicated to all that is Good and Positive. But if you guys keep up the research, and I'll try to keep people fed and living as best I can, we might just get along, right? It's not like I'm hurting someone, right?

The Outsider system is flawed.

True evil is made by choice, evil outsiders are by default evil, their bodies are evil, their thoughts are evil, the entire bio-system is evil.

Ultimate evil is committed by beings that clearly could choose to do better, but who chose otherwise.

The Kilonazi still stands as the least flawed metric of evil.

>>16509626

It really doesn't, and is mostly an academic thing, like Theoretical Physics. But it does have some promising ethical developments that the Sociology department is drooling over. Still. I just dabble in it for fun, and it's a lab requirement in OUT.

Also, OUT encourages having at least one purely academic career pursuit to promote mental agility. I've got five, and seven or eight applied and practical ones. And at least six hobby pursuits.

Acupunture Jogging is the most relaxing thing I've ever done.

>>16509651
This is why I laugh when I am told my people "do not understand" and that we are "ignorant of the complexities of modern life". Who needs such elaborations and detail-obsession?

I love the life my people have. We have enough grass for our herds, enough meat and herb for our food, enough fresh water for our thirst, and enough clothing and shelter for our protection against the weather. We have enough to serve our needs - why would we want to see how much "enough" is beyond simply being "enough"?

Whelp, I'm out. Sleep I need, being living and frail ;)

>>16509389
Noted and noted. Well, this does sound like a particularly lengthy and expensive process, but I have my connections and I have already landed a job in the courier services, overseeing that packages get to their destinations on time, especially so for the important, expensive and irreplaceable ones. It's going to pay well, so it shouldn't take more than a decade.

As for the going undead part and shardmind, it's something I will have to investigate.

And sorry for the late response, IRL things happened. Some complete idiot in my class somehow fucked up shit royally and sent one of our teachers to the South pole.

He is not going to pass this class any time this century.

>>16509715
>System based on the actual incarnate original Evil itself
>System based on some sentients being bad
>'True Evil'
Oh right, you're a fucking fanatic. Come back when you're ready to do some real science, you fundie piece of shit.

>>16509685
Sure, I'll head your way now. Just...be ready for a show, they're up to 18 'haremettes' by this point, two for every alignment, and they're starting to form power blocs with each other.

>>16509715
Isn't that the problem with measurements of an abstract concept, even ones we can somehow magick into tangibility?
Good and evil are subjective, yet we have planes suffused with it. We can feel it when we go there or hold natural materials from those planes. How do we know the exact Evil power of a liter of evil fluid compared to how much is in the Nether Chalk I use for Abyssal summonings? We really can't, because Evil can't exist in a vacuum. We can only compare it to Good and say "Yep, that's a lot more evil than this is."

>>16509697

Sadly the Q'iian Savannah is rapidly turning into the Q'iian wasteland and its millions are starving just because of its former fertility.

The population explosion engendered by better agricultural practices and the Shàriik schools improved healing magics, have destroyed the fragile environmental equilibrium.

There simply are at least five times more beings currently using the resources than can be sustained.

>>16509672
It was named for the person who discovered how to quantify it. The rest are all naming conventions he used from his native world. Like how we use the Curie to measure radiation, and Watts to measure electricity. Those are all people's names. Pretty common, actually.

>>16509715
Which is why we use the Curry and not the Outsider scale. At least, any serious researcher does.

>>16509697
What you want is the Archlich, then. Basically a positive energy powered lich who tends toward goodness. Also, your good MIGHT conceiveably harm someone else's good, but I highly doubt you're doing anything like that. Just keep perspective.

>>16509656
He uh... Well there's a reason the entire west wing of OUT is condemned, and why the surrounding area is a magical disaster. I was actually caught up in it for a brief while and... well, I came by my scars honestly.

But your story sounds much nicer! I think you might actually come out ahead. If you can make it to Conjuration Guy's store, I'll bring along some books on Trope Theory and Storybook Engineering. We might be able to make this work in your favor.

>>16509734
>science
>don't even have empirical measurement units for values of Evil or Good
>laughingbanshees.jpg

>>16509753
Obviously the measurement of Evil is in flux, but do you not know anything about the process? We take samples from Evil and Good Outsiders of the 'higher' expressions of those concepts, purify the samples and compare them against each other to get a monthly standard. It's checked every week and changed every month, although the weekly checking it to determine if it must be changed early due to a large variation. For the most part, w'ere talking variations of no more than 0.00001 Outsiders over a thousand years.

Compared to that moralist Kilonazi bullshit... ugh. I don't even understand how those frauds still get airtime.

Update on Storybook guy:
I've laid out pure salt, a dead Ioun stone, an egg, and a bit of charcoal.
Gonna draw a circle with more salt, then crush the Ioun stone and mix it with the salt, charcoal, and egg (to help it stick). Then I'm going to paint banishing runes onto the guy, and start casting. Whole thing should only take five minutes. The materials (minus the circle on the ground) should disappear if I do it right.

>>16509753
The most recent theories say that because of such subjectivity, "evil" and "good" energy are just the same energy perceived in different ways.

Not the same as positive and negative energy, those are clearly different.

>>16509721
Why so? EFFICIENCY and RESOURCES, that's why.
There's nothing bad in finding out more sources of energy for powering our cities and making our lives easier.

>captcha: verbiri efficiency.

See, the captcha is mentioning the works of Archmage Verbiri, I know I'm in the right path.

>>16509784
He's here. starting now.

>>16509778
>At least, any serious researcher does.
Why don't you fuck off back to whatever fundamentalist circlejerk institution you're a fellow of, and produce some more shitty interest group propaganda for your corporate and political masters? The Kilonazi System is a massively flawed scientific proposition that no actual scientist would seriously consider as a proper measurement or alternative to Evilution.

>>16509784
Yeah, I'm on my way, but I'm in a bit of a holdup, some kind of megalomaniacal asshat in black armor just tried to kill me. The, uh, the...girls...I guess...didn't take kindly to that. Long story short, there's anti-paladin bits from Short Street to Black Boulevard, and the Watch has decided I'm a 'person of interest'. So...seriously, fuck witches.

Is Barding 101 a magic class?

>>16509801
Um, not sure who or what you have, but it's not me. I'm still by the Street of Guilds, about ten minutes off. Please tell me he doesn't have a fucking goatee. Please, let's leave that cliche alone.

>>16508929
Somebody hasn't heard the latest news about the Burning Hate, I see.

>>16509784
Well, there goes my plan, then. I'll still bring those books, though.

>>16509783
The kilonazi and Curry is just a naming convention, big guy. It's every bit as empirical, and quite a bit more accurate, than the Outsider system. People are easier to hold down, for one. It could just as easily be called the Rube Goldberg system, but he went with Nazis because that's what he knew. Cool your jets.

Though, I will admit, the difference between the two is like the difference between Kelvin and Fahrenheit, so it's mostly academic.

>>16509813
Whoops, I had that typed out and was just going to hit submit, but I hit it early. Force of habit.

This... isn't good. Those aren't elementals.

I'm going to need more stuff.

So I've been taking alignment measurements with the vlad-dracul measurement system. How would I convert 5.6 Kilovlads to nazis? Or a decidracul?

>>16509816

No. that is an optional course for armorers that wish to extend their services to quadrupeds.

Can anyone tell me why the faculty thought it a good idea to hire an Awakened Honeybee Queen for the Biomancy class?

>>16509816
It's a Liberal Arts generalist class with a little 'Philosophy of Magic' in it.

>>16509816
It's a path to an associate's degree, like Basic Sorcery

>>16509831
I'll help! What do you think you're looking at? Figments? Raksha? Far-Beasts?

>>16509813
No, the moral of your story is 'Don't fuck witches'. Witches be crazy, yo.

>>16509845
>>16509838
>>16509834
It's all of the above, and more!

>>16509836
If I had to guess... Pheromones?
Bees are naturally adept with pheromones, so... I guess it makes sense with some sort of twisted logic?

Okay, storybook. I've prepped a Non-detection and (at great cost) a Mind Blank scroll. Let's do this.

>>16509798
And what use is putting weights and numbers to good and evil, for measuring how much grain a mill turns to flour, or how many days a slain calf may feed a man and his wife and children, or how many trees must be felled to build a fence to keep the wild beasts at bay? How would your magical calculations help clothe a eldest son on his first hunt against the rain and wind, or teach a daughter how to harvest herbs and fruit to help her mother prepare a celebration feast for that boy when he returns with his kill?

You think too much of your lofty studies and things, and overlook how important the practical things are, and what little the two have in common. You think measuring that which cannot truly be measured is important, when it serve no purpose at all but to distract you from truly living.

>>16509857
Not looking at them yet.
Just judging by his story up there.

>>16509870
>How would your magical calculations help clothe a eldest son on his first hunt against the rain and wind, or teach a daughter how to harvest herbs and fruit to help her mother prepare a celebration feast for that boy when he returns with his kill?
Pretty simply really. Those are covered with some really basic magical formula so there's no real reason anyone couldn't pick them up. Power drain is low, so even a basic opposite alignment battery would do you for life if you can't conduit the energy yourself.

>>16509831
>>Those aren't elementals
Then what the fuck are they? I mean, I thought they were relatively harmless, but when that guy pissed them off, one second, they were fine, and then...Oh Pelor, it was like it was raining antipaladin bits. Kibble-sized bits...oh god I think I might throw up.

>>16509857
Yes, thank you, I know they are.

>>16509870
>to distract you from truly living.
>truly living

Pffft, who's got time for THAT?

I'm sorry, I took the classes in Necromancy that are actually useful.

>>16509870
You might be interested in OUT's agricultural studies program, or its Practical Violence major. There's also a pretty decent hunting course offered on weekends.

>>16509861
I'll be over with my Dispelling kit. Give me a bit, since it's pretty big and I've only got the one arm.

>>16509891
There's a lot of things they could be.
I'm going to have to shotgun remedies until I figure it out.

>>16509906
If someone is seriously interested in pursuing a career in Necromancy Academia then lichdom is a big asset. If you're interested in practical Necromancy then it's not very important.

>>16509908
Hey, NO disjunctions in my shop. Everything else is fine, but... well, there's a lot of room in here, but there will be a lot less if three Elementals, two Ropers, six large birds, two tigers, a wolf, a badger, and eight hundred various magic charges go off all at once.

>>16509913
Okay...fuck...coming up on your place now. There's...oh fuck, 36 of them now, more just keep turning up. And they won't let anyone near me, they're just forming a circle to isolate me in their crowd, even while they keep bickering. When I get this spell fixed, I'm going to fix that bitch but good and see how she likes a fucking Orb of Infinite Spiders where the sun don't shine.

>>16509913

Do you need silver or cold iron buckshot for the shotgun?

FOOL! YOU HAVE LEARNED NOTHING FROM MY ONE-HOUR CLASS!

>>16509933
Oh, right then. That makes my kit a lot smaller, then. Thanks! I'll be over in a jiff! Good thing I took all those Acupuncture Jogging course-hobbies.

And I'll bring a bucket and some bread, too. Poor guy sounds like he'll need it.

>>16509890
You waste time and breath with such things. Tell me, what know you of skinning a beast and cleaning the hide to make a cloak? What know you of building a fire and crafting a lean-to against the icy winds? Or of building a fire and dressing a carcass that you might go hungered through the night? What know you of doing things without your spellcraft, arrogant wizard? Anything at all?

Knowing how to do things with what you have is good, but unless you know how to do without them as well, then you know nothing and are helpless should it be taken from you.

>>16509940
Man, at this rate of multiplication the amount of energy consumed by the spell to produce alignment archetypes would be horrific. It's far more likely you're just under some combined illusion/charm enchantment, possibly one using your own magical energy to sustain itself (thus explaining why you can't get rid of them).

>>16509940
Okay, come in and stand in the circle.
I'm going to read off a bunch of shit and... well, this won't be fun. You're going to come out of this okay though, trust me.
Oh, and I'm billing the Dean when he gets back.
Feel free to keep using your mobile while I work. I'll be busy, so let these people know what's going on.

>>16509870
Again, EFFICIENCY
Or, in words you can understand, making the best of what limited resources we have.
>for measuring how much grain a mill turns to flour,
To know how much grain to mill without it going to waste.
> or how many days a slain calf may feed a man and his wife and children
Again, to not waste calves
>or how many trees must be felled to build a fence to keep the wild beasts at bay?
To know how many tress to fell and to know the best way to construct the fence without having to waste more time and energy than what is actually needed
>How would your magical calculations help clothe a eldest son on his first hunt against the rain and wind
To make clothing that not only resists the weather, it is also light and easy to wear
> or teach a daughter how to harvest herbs and fruit to help her mother prepare a celebration feast for that boy when he returns with his kill?
Know at which moment a certain fruit or herb yields the most.

>>16509974
>Tell me, what know you of skinning a beast and cleaning the hide to make a cloak? What know you of building a fire and crafting a lean-to against the icy winds? Or of building a fire and dressing a carcass that you might go hungered through the night?
Can do them all. With magic. Silently and quickly, if need be.
>What know you of doing things without your spellcraft, arrogant wizard? Anything at all?
Here's the thing. Magic works. Magic follows a sane, logical process and it increases efficiency and gets results. The magical method is the greatest creation of sentient society. Now, I get it. You're a luddite, and you were raised that way. That's okay. It's even okay if you don't want us to make your life better. But what we're doing *is* making life better and it's only going to accelerate with time.

You're a relic. But we won't hold it against you.

>>16509928
Nah. The problem is undead specialists are a dime a dozen in necromancy. You might as well have a bachelors in Business.

See me? I loaded up on all the other courses. You know, the ones they're usually trying to get enough students for. Curses, Undead Disruption, Seances...I took so many course on Negative Energy I ended up minoring in planar studies.

It doesn't matter if you go academic or practical, those are the kind of skills that make you stand out, from the million candidates that really didn't learn anything out of four years except how to find discount black onyx.

>>16509974
I don't have to know that. Unlike you, I'm not driven by primeval instincts and I live somewhere where I can just buy a cloak if I need one.

Efficiency, man. People can specialize in one or two jobs and do those, while others fo other jobs. And a single man can do his/her jobs better than if he knew how to do more things.
"Jack of all trades, master of none."

>>16509978
I think it's tapping some kind of primal energy...I was in the old woods when it triggered, I think that bitch slapped some ley magic on me. Or maybe the Dean is fucking with me to try and get me to get my grades up.
>>16509981
What? What are you going to do? And...fuck, watch it, that chaos girl is looking like she wants to take your head off...

>>16509974
>Tell me, what know you of skinning a beast and cleaning the hide to make a cloak? What know you of building a fire and crafting a lean-to against the icy winds? Or of building a fire and dressing a carcass that you might go hungered through the night?
I can do all those things, assuming "beast" includes humanoids.

>>16509974

Basic Wilderness Survival. It's required by all OUT students, and most other colleges as well. We're not unsympathetic to you, chief. It's just that neither of us is morally superior to the other. And there is great value in knowledge, even of the meanest and most simple sort. Oghma, and his students, and most gods of knowledge, hold your tribal ways and hard-won knowledge in just as high esteem as my rarified academia.

All knowledge has value, bro. It's just how relevant to the current situation it is that makes it worth knowing. Basic Wilderness Survival does nothing for me in an academic institution, but I'm still glad I know it.

>>16509981
Wait, nearly there! I'm sorry I'm not quicker, but you try maneuvering a huge valise with only one arm!

>>16510026
True, but there always seems to be a market for the weird creations they put out.

Anyway, you're not disagreeing with me. You go lich if you want to write papers or teach. If you're actually interested in Necromancy, you get a grounding in all the aspects of it (like you did) and you sign on with a corporate or planar agency to start getting hands-on experience.

>>16509974
>>16509870
It's simple, really.

It's because your people are doomed if you don't become like us.

Our system may not be the best for personal happiness. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee it's not. But you know what it is the best at? Strangling any other modes of civilization it encounters.

We will inevitably come to your lands for their lumber, and their ores, and their water and pastures and farmland and anything else that we deem of use. And you will not be able to stop us forever, any more than the land can resist the tide. To fight us, you must become us, and that will murder your society as effectively as our actively murdering you would.

Your only hope is to find a place so worthless that our civilization would never want it, and even then the ecological effects of our civilization are still going to overwhelm you in the end.

>>16510077
>>16510026
The glut of undead is killing our planet. I can't believe there are still people who don't believe in planar change.

>>16510092
Prove planar change exist. And prove it with unbiased means.

To whomever replaced my textbooks with mimics: go eat a dick. Took me forever to get rid of the fucking things, I'm all bloody with bite marks, and worst of all the things ate all my notes!

I know it's you John. I swear, I'm going to replace your bathwater with a gelatinous ooze one day.

>>16510077
Actually, I'm thinking of doing some volunteer work. You're only young once (undead do not count), and I was thinking of maybe also branching out into witchcraft?

>>16510130
No. Nonononononono. The last damn thing the world needs is more witches. No...no more.

>>16510009
>Can do them all with magic

And without it? What if somehow, you were cut off from your arcane incantations? Could you survive? I doubt it. You have grown reliant on your spellcraft, it is to you as a crutch is to a wizened elder. Take it away and it sounds as if you will falter and fail where others such as me will manage to press on and survive. Yes, you have your magic, and it is of great worth to you... but are you of any good without it?

>>16509994
I do not argue with your numbers and your reasons - even my people understand the value of avoiding waste. What I question is the point of trying to measure and calculate the worth of Good and Evil itself, as if they were things as solid and definite as the meat from a calf or the timbers of a fence. You cannot determine the weight of a kind gesture, or measure the height and length of a cruel thought. It is foolish.

>>16510147
Sounds like someone has a fun story involving witches.

>>16510167
My ex-girlfriend the witch was the one who did this to me. Search my posts!

>>16510149
>as if they were things as solid and definite as the meat from a calf or the timbers of a fence
Yeah, pure evil is more gamey then cows. It's not quite the same.

So how go the efforts to identify and isolate the fundamental particles of Neutrality?

Warlock alumi here, you damn kids have it so easy today its not even funny.

>>16510130
>witchcraft
It's not a bad idea. Both options The insular academic and corporate circles of Necromancy mean any volunteer with be in demand outside those circles, and you'll get a good pedigree if you ever do decide to get a more traditional Necromantic job. Witchcraft has a lot of overplay with Necromancy but it's a completely nontraditional learning environment. The way witchcraft is learned, even the way its used, is nothing like the standarised academic system someone learns Necromancy or Conjuration in. You'll have to find a tutor, too - most commonly another witch, but you can seek a magical patron if you'd prefer (the first real witches are thought to have learned this way and it is usually seen as more prestigious). Just be prepared for crippling student debt if you go that route; your choice of payment plan will be very important.

>>16510191
For some reason, everyone who makes even a little headway in that field gives up and says they don't really care or it's no big deal.

>>16510180
Oooooh...This could be a good thing. Your ex miiiiight be telling you that your break up might have been because she wanted to explore women.
Or it might be for the Wicca comment. That shit is not cool.

>>16510075
Then I praise your god Oghma, for he seems to still grant his servants wisdom, rather than reliance on spellcraft and the laziness such often brings. I shall count him among the good gods of these lands when I eventually return to my people and tell them what I have learned on my travels.

>>16510085
We of the northern lands have lived where we have for years of such number than even the grandfather of my grandfather could not remember when we first came to dwell among Cruach's great snowy mountains. We have had many boast they could drive us away, or enslave us, or destroy us, just as you now claim. We still live, still survive. And, by Cruach's iron teeth, we shall continue to live and thrive in his great snowy mountains.

>>16510149
And are you of any good without your strength?

As for quantifying good and evil, there is one good reason. If the last theories are right, we have found the most efficient and powerful source of renewable energy in this world: humanity itself.

(name on, I'm the translocations mage that has been talking about efficiency)

>Ph.D in diabolatry
>Any soul-crushing job I want
>666k starting

U mad, necromancers ?

>>16510193
Wait...Warlocks can read?

>>16510265
Nah, he's just cranky and jealous that we got our power through hard work and study, not by willingly fellating some hideous demon lord.

>>16510251
She said she was a witch, how was I supposed to know she wasn't just another Wiccan looking into nature magic? Shit! And where's the conjurer, I seem to have lost him in the crowd...

>>16510306
That's the point dumbass. Most serious witches stay the hell away from wicca, and even if she doesn't, it's annoying that you just assumed that.
It's like assuming just because you're a necromancer you've got a little shrine to Nerull.

>>16510270
Ah, now we see where the balance tilts. Using humanity as a source of power... that cannot end well. By any means.

>>16510269
Civilization grows at an exponential rate: slowly at first, then faster, faster and faster.

And we're at the point where it accelerates, the X=1 for x^2.

>>16510337
Yeah, Humans are fucking useless.

>>16510206
>Witchcraft has a lot of overplay with Necromancy but it's a completely nontraditional learning environment. The way witchcraft is learned, even the way its used, is nothing like the standarised academic system someone learns Necromancy or Conjuration in
Incidentally, this is where a lot of the 'witches be crazy' shit comes from.

>>16510269
I'm not boasting. I'm just stating fact, a truth that's existed ever since the dawn of agriculture: when hunter-gatherers and farmers meet, the hunter-gatherers are pushed aside. It's a matter of numbers, and a matter of how much power can be put into the hands of the warriors. Your people still survive because nobody has had reason to come to your home in vast numbers, and to keep coming for years on end, until your people are exhausted and broken by the effort required to resist an inexhaustible swarm of invaders.

I wish I could say that the world is some other way; I bear your people no ill will, and the world will be a lesser place without them in it. But at this point, the only way to save your people from their eventual fate would be to murder my own and their entire civilization, and one thing I expect we both agree on is that one's own family and tribe must be valued above all else.

>>16510337
I can assure it doesn't involve genocide, enslavement or similar.

>>16510026
See I've only bothered to learn the basics in Undeadology, a bunch of skeletons and zombies are all I really need. I mostly focused on curses and decurses. This one time I was messing with this really hot witch, broke up with her when she became really clingy. She tried to put some curse on me, amateur attempt really.

Needless to say, it was broken and laid a curse of my own. There's a reason she was dubbed typhoid mary for a month. In a way I helped her move on, she met some dude following some dark god of plagues and what not. I'm invited to their wedding, I'm not eating the food.

>>16510333
Annoying, I can see, and I'm sorry I did it, but siccing a mob of outsider ladies on me is a bit much by any standard.

>>16510302
>willingly fellating some hideous demon lord.

That's why I chose to perform cunnilingus on a beautiful Fae lady. It's like marriage, except I actually get some benefit from selling my soul to a woman.

>>16510371
You probably did something else, and you're being to thickheaded to realize this.
If she's a witch, you must have had LOADS of hubris for her to pull this much stuff down on you.

>>16510333
Sounds like somebody is speaking from experience there.

Have you tried NOT having a shrine to Nerull?

>>16510381
If it's a Fae, how do you know it's a lady?

This thread is on its way towards the 15th Page of the Abyss. I believe it's time to open a new one?

>>16510393
Yeah. I got one to Hecate.

>>16510149

What if somehow both your arms and legs were cut off? Could you survive without them?

No?

You're grown reliant on your limbs, they are a crutch to you! While I, I am Psion, I am the Will and the Thought made manifest within the physical world. My body is but a shell which holds the spark of my true nature.

I could no sooner be separated from my power as you could from your bone and muscle. Do not attempt to lecture me on who has used their abilities as a crutch. Why do you leave your mind so open that a single passing thought could subsume your will with my own, or pinch a blood vessel shut that permanently paralyses you?

Why do you learn to swing a sword when I can control the very concept of motion with a passing glance?

>>16510354
Then if or when the time comes, and your seekers of the future meet my people rooted in history, we shall fight. And it will be a grand fight indeed, for if your people are anything like mine, then we wil not relent until the last man falls.

And, if stormy-eyed Cruach looks down from his great mountain and decides our time has passed, and that you are to be the victor... I will accept his will, knowing that I and my kin did not simply accept defeat, but fought until our opponent had to strike us down to steal it from us, and no man can call a death such as that unworthy of praise and reward in Cruach's stone halls beyond the tomb.

>>16510396
Because being a lady was part of the contract we signed.

And I had the Dean of the Rules Lawyer faculty go over that thing. It's ironclad.

New thread is up
>>16510447

>>16510443

>sigh

Psion here, majoring in psychometabolism and working on my P.H.D

I try to be a tad more humble, I find it stupid that psions and those who practice the arcane should get into this dick measuring contest about who's better (which didn't turn out well as one of my classmates actually stretched his out and accidentally made it permanent..)