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  • File : 1319956260.jpg-(246 KB, 1440x1540, earth[1].jpg)
    246 KB EVO Quest - Part V-II OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)02:31 No.16782067  
    Continued from>>16778621

    >>16781987
    >39
    Now let's see if you've read him correctly...

    You pick yourself up off the ground, snap open yor wings and rocket upwards; beneath you, King Selac smashes full-force into the tree, sending it crashing to the ground in a shower of splinters and pieces.

    "MONGREL! GET BACK HERE!" he roars, charging after you; you fly frantically, getting the fuck out of dodge. You skim over the battlefield, looking around; Bearex and the Death Iron have crushed the woodfolk's skirmishers, while the leafdancers are doing pretty okay- had Aazz not been there, the spearmen would have sporked them, magic or no magic-

    And then you have no time, because the meteor is fast approaching. You put your back to a low-hanging chunk of the meteor, spreading your wings and throwing a challenging HURP, HURP, HURP! at the enraged King...

    ... who really DID follow you all the way here. He's covered in the blood; though you're not sure if it's woodfolk or sunfang blood, you have the feeling that it's both. Either way, it's in the water, and King Selac is howling a berserker's cry as he charges straight at you, his momentum unchecked-

    - until you fly up AGAIN, sending him slamming straight into the space rock. He stumbles back- you can almost literally see the stars circling above his head.

    >GO!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:33 No.16782081
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16782067
    Tackleslam him back into the meteor and then titanium web him to it.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:33 No.16782083
    rolled 33 = 33

    BACK OF THE NECK!
    BACK OF THE NECK!

    BITE! STAB! SUCK HIS GODDAMN BLOOD BEFORE HE RECOVERS!
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)02:33 No.16782084
         File1319956413.jpg-(104 KB, 512x512, 1318496520861.jpg)
    104 KB
    >EVO Quest V-II
    >EVO Quest VII
    >all the potential confusion
    ... oh god

    If someone else eventually archives this thread before me, please call it something like 'EVO Quest V-2' or something
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)02:33 No.16782085
    rolled 16 = 16

    >>16782067
    Web him, then interrogate him. With our mouth hooks, of course.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:33 No.16782086
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16782067

    DIG CLAWS INTO HIS PACK, BREAK ARM WITH TAIL, FLY ABOVE THE BATTLEFIELD, MAKE A GREAT SCREECH TO ALERT ANY AND ALL, DECAPITATE HIM WITH YOUR MOUTH.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:34 No.16782087
    >>16782084
    Hey, if Final Fantasy can do it (and TWICE no less), then so can you.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:34 No.16782090
    rolled 34 = 34

    >>16782067
    Bind him in a SPAGHETTI ROLL of web and vines. Then ram and withdraw the supports holding the Meteor up and drop the fucking rock on him.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:34 No.16782097
    >>16782067
    Swoop down and hook him in the head, then spin in the air and bodyslam him into the ground.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:35 No.16782099
    rolled 15 = 15

    Everyone, I think you're looking at this all wrong. We shouldn't be shitting our pants, wondering what to do next, we should be blorping our rage into the heavens. Never before have we been wounded by these lesser creatures. Never before has our divinity ever been challenged. Never before had we had reason to truly want to wipe the woodfolk from existence, but now with this most grievous of crimes against us we shall smite this false king then devour him and drain every iota of power from his failing veins!

    BLORP FOR THE BLORP GOD!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:35 No.16782100
    rolled 39 = 39

    >>16782067
    He took his helmet off and threw it at you. So jump on his beck and mouth-pincer his neck as deep as you possible can.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:36 No.16782108
         File1319956566.jpg-(32 KB, 500x428, 2a047_memes-though-art-gentlem(...).jpg)
    32 KB
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>16782083

    THIS!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:36 No.16782109
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>16782100
    *back, not beck. Hey, at least I got a high roll.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:36 No.16782110
    >>16782090

    You ASSHOLE, we rolled hard to get that meteor up there why would you destroy our eventual Capital-City? Or at least NOT make it suspended above the ground like a boss?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:36 No.16782113
         File1319956592.jpg-(35 KB, 493x387, 1319193709360.jpg)
    35 KB
    >>16782100
    With our upgraded hooks that will surely severe his head....
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:36 No.16782115
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>16782067

    We held the meteor up with vines.
    We push the vines from the opposite side of the king, causing the meteor to crush him, or at least pin him.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:37 No.16782118
         File1319956625.gif-(103 KB, 163x96, 1307081216507.gif)
    103 KB
    rolled 37 = 37

    >>16782100

    dubs and another critical

    I think you all know what this calls for.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:37 No.16782122
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16782110
    Because then we can chisel this upon our capital city.

    "Here lies the graves of the Woodfucks Immortal -Trex and king. We dropped a cunting space rock on them. RIP fuckers"
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:37 No.16782123
    rolled 37 = 37

    ATTACK HIS WEAK POINT! DO A BARREL ROLL AND DRAIN THE POWER OUT OF THAT FUCKER!
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/30/11(Sun)02:38 No.16782126
    rolled 7 = 7

    He ain't gonna lead with his face into the meteor. Still, try to Biomancy some vines and webs to trap him/sword, and make the vines worm their way to his plates. We need to get them off.

    You know what? Get Aazz here. He is partly insubstantial, right?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:38 No.16782129
    >>16782110

    We CAN use the vines to push it back up afterwards... Probably.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:38 No.16782133
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16782099
    >nat 40 get

    BLOOORP FOR THE BLOOOORP GOD!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:39 No.16782135
    rolled 11 = 11

    Y'all need to chill out.

    We got a 39 on bite his neck off with mouth-pincers.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:39 No.16782137
    >>16782122

    A floating city is better. Why? Because we can bind the fucking CORPSES of our ENEMIES in TITANIUM webbing and HANG them from BELOW it. Forever Beneath us.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:39 No.16782139
         File1319956795.png-(176 KB, 904x868, 65354345465.png)
    176 KB
    >>16782135
    We also got a 34+nat 40 for dropping the City on him.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:40 No.16782146
    rolled 22 = 22

    I don't think the nat 40 will count because it was responding to someone, not suggesting we actually do it.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:41 No.16782147
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16782139

    We can drain him THEN drop a meteor on him.

    You know. To make an example of him to whatever woodelves are still left alive.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:41 No.16782149
    rolled 25 = 25

    I, for one, like the fact that we're not steam-rolling this guy.

    I think that we should finish this fight up, and fast. We need atleast 40 on a called roll to really finish this, but i'm sure with the onset of multiple high rolls or "mini-crits" the OP will show us a little leniancy.

    I hope you guys learned your lesson. Cute and adorable does not make you a potent fighter. We need to upgrade our combat abilities next evolution - if there is one.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:41 No.16782158
    >>16782122
    Oh shit.
    THIS
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)02:41 No.16782159
    >39
    >40
    HOLY SHIT

    STOPPING THE ROLLS BEFORE WE DROP THE SUN ON HIM

    AND ALL THE WOODFOLK PAST PRESENT FUTURE
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:42 No.16782160
    >>16782149

    ...Have you fucking seen our BLORP? We are a fucking NIGHTMARE creature, we are only Cute and Adorable because we want to be, we are a combat NIGHTMARE if it comes down to it.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:43 No.16782166
    *sips coffee*

    Ahh, yep...a good day for rolling.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/30/11(Sun)02:43 No.16782170
    rolled 3 = 3

    Wooooo~ Talk about slow typing.
    Also, I forgot he threw his helmet at us.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:43 No.16782171
    rolled 8 = 8

    >>16782159
    Then we drop a sun on the woodfucks village to the East
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:45 No.16782181
    Salamanders can grow a tongue back, right?

    I mean they can regenerate their tails.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:45 No.16782186
    rolled 22 = 22

    >>16782118
    Anyone can get dubs and a critical. Nobylan and Mitenun, guide my roll!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:46 No.16782191
    rolled 22 = 22

    >>16782160

    Hardly.

    Our only real offensive capability is using our mouth-attack, which works well enough against weaker foes but against behemoths like these we're not even somewhat able to match him physically.

    So yes, to the common woodfolk we're a nightmare to fight, but against one of these swordsmen I doubt we'd be able to take it out.

    All of our powers and other bio-morphs are either defensively inclined are support abilities. We need to get more offensive capabilities asap if we want to continue our dominance.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:46 No.16782193
    rolled 17 = 17

    >>16782166

    Everyday is a good day for rolling. Don't you remember the crazy shit we pulled off in the other threads from critical rolls?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:47 No.16782199
    >>16782191

    We have rending talons capable of shredding our TITANIUM webbing.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:47 No.16782201
         File1319957245.jpg-(360 KB, 3000x2000, Bleep clean copy.jpg)
    360 KB
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16782160

    I have no idea what you are talking about. Who wouldn't want a kiss from this cute little guy?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:48 No.16782205
    >>16782191
    To be fair our powers and upgrades have mainly focused on support and back-up defensive and attacking feats. We are not a BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD God. More scheming and brain works.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)02:48 No.16782208
    >>16782122
    >>16782100
    >>16782090
    >39, 40, holy fuck
    You know a fucking god- (or you-)given opening when you see one, and dive straight in there like the fist of the north star.

    And your mouth-hooks slide straight in, through armor and flesh alike, as expertly as a surgeon performing spine surgery, the only difference being that YOUR M.D. is in RAW 100% PAIN.

    There's a gurgle as King Selac's throat is put in a bad way; arterial blood sprays everywhere, for once not going all into your mouth. He totters back one step, two steps, and reaches back behind him in a vain attempt to pull you off. You can hear in his mind-

    >"Every... time! EVERY TI-"

    You detach before he can reach you, do a quick visual sweep of the battlefield (no one beneath the battlefield). Your vision going green, you reach out with your biomancy powers again... and remove a third of the pillars supporting the meteor.

    King Selac has just enough time to look up and gurgle something through his bloodstained beard, reaching into a side pocket-

    ++CRACKA-THOOOOOOOOOOM++

    - before you give him a warm welcome to Sunfang Meteor... tyrant king style.
    (continued)
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:49 No.16782216
    >>16782201
    That was bleep several evolutions ago. Now we have spiky, bony hide, dragon wings, and eight eyes.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:50 No.16782218
    >>16782208
    We gon' need to check that pocket later.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:51 No.16782219
    >>16782216

    Don't forget our really long prehensile tail, which is also covered in spiked as it is an extension of our spine.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:51 No.16782220
    >>16782205

    Actually we are quite the BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD god.

    Most of our actions have been killing and devouring shit.

    I'd say less than 10% of our collective actions have been well-though out plans. Everything has been a spur of the moment decision which almost always involved some form of violence.

    We're not mostly combat-oriented because some people don't know how to plan ahead.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:52 No.16782223
    >>16782219
    We should get a long, prehensile cock and slap people around with it.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:52 No.16782224
    rolled 30 = 30

    >>16782208

    I bet anything that he had a crystal in that pocket.

    Which reminds me, we'll need to search the woodfolk bodies for crystals after this is all over.

    Oh god the amount of upgrades we're going to get from this. I can hardly wait.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:53 No.16782229
    >>16782208

    I do hope the nature of his demise doesn't invalidate our chance to access the time stream.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:53 No.16782230
    rolled 17 = 17

    >>16782220

    Yeah this session was about as tactical as we've gotten with fights thus far. Everything else has been largely RIP AND TEAR! YOU'RE HUGE, THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS etc etc.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:54 No.16782235
    >>16782208
    >Every... time

    Wait a second.... Is this fucker reincarnating into new bodies? This secret Tyrant King?

    If so the irony is delicious
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:54 No.16782242
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16782208
    Biomancy to lift the meteor back up to get the juicy meats underneath.
    Bearex can chase down the survivors and kill them.
    BLORP in victory.
    Nom all the dead.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:55 No.16782243
    rolled 17 = 17

    >>16782229

    Like hell it will. If it's pinned under the meteor, we'll just summon up some trees to rip apart the rock and pry it out for us.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:55 No.16782246
    >>16782242

    Fuck yeah, I love this action.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:55 No.16782248
    >>16782242
    Welp, lookie what we got 'ere boys...
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:56 No.16782250
         File1319957768.jpg-(50 KB, 498x372, 1311049495613.jpg)
    50 KB
    rolled 37 = 37

    >>16782242

    IT KEEPS HAPPENING
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:56 No.16782251
    >>16782242

    I LOVE YOU FRIEND, OUR FLOATING METEOR HOME HAS COME BACK TO US!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:57 No.16782257
    >>16782251
    I never doubted for a solitary second that it would.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:57 No.16782259
         File1319957856.jpg-(70 KB, 375x346, 1311049294023.jpg)
    70 KB
    This is the best thing on /tg/ right now.

    Just wanted to let you all know.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:58 No.16782261
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16782242
    Good idea

    One adenddum

    Biomancy the ever living fuck out our ass. Probably going to need to use one if not both POWERS upgrade form next TIME STREAM. Anyways we craft artificial tree driven leg locomotive undergrown around the bottom of the Meteor.

    New mobile, albeit slow, fortress city.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:59 No.16782266
    rolled 30 = 30

    >>16782261
    THIS
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:59 No.16782271
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16782266
    DUBS WILL IT
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)03:00 No.16782277
         File1319958053.jpg-(13 KB, 200x160, youtotallyfuckinggotthis.jpg)
    13 KB
    >>16782208
    When the dust clears, a full third of the meteor is embedded straight into the ground, leaving it slanted precariously over the rest of the vines. Only some of the woodfolk just drop their weapons and/or flee, while the rest continue fighting all the harder, desperate to take as many sunfangs as they can before they get cut down.

    You flit above the battlefield on your webbed wings. The Death Iron has gone to reinforce the rest of the squads, so you spend a moment trying to figure out where to throw your strength--

    >"MONGRELS!"

    - and part of the meteor EXPLODES outwards as something hurtles through the air, speeding towards you like a torpedo. This... this MONSTER is enough to give you pause out of fe- WORRY; streaming blood, its sleek, scarred, and hideously ripped-up and battered form is covered in a thick gray hide, broken occasionally by what look like flat spikes. You're staring into the business end of a maw full of dagger-like- no, ROWS of dagger-SIZED teeth- and into hate-filled eyes, black like the depths of the ocean.
    (continued)
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:01 No.16782278
    >>16782266
    High rolling double dubs...
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:01 No.16782279
    >>16782271
    >>16782266
    >>16782261

    Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold your horses, we haven't even given OP enough time to finish the description of the first actions yet.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)03:01 No.16782286
         File1319958113.jpg-(489 KB, 640x544, KingKuraSELAChe.jpg)
    489 KB
    >"I... AM NOT... DONE... YET! FACE ME, MONGREL!"

    You backwing instinctively away-

    >"AS LONG AS THERE IS BLOOD IN THE WATER..."

    - but the monstrous fish is inexplicably- IMPOSSIBLY- closing the distance FAST, swimming through the air as if it were water.

    >"KING KURASELACHE SHALL NEVER GIVE UP THE CHASE!"

    You snarl in return. He's still fast, but... he's mortally injured. And-

    >BLORP.

    AND YOU ARE THE GUARDIAN OF THE EARTH.

    >COMMAND?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:02 No.16782288
         File1319958129.jpg-(186 KB, 739x960, 1316297921556.jpg)
    186 KB
    >>16782277
    OHFUCK
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:02 No.16782294
         File1319958175.jpg-(8 KB, 208x199, 440.jpg)
    8 KB
    >>16782277

    Son of a bitch it WAS a crystal!

    Man I would've thought dropping a meteor on his head would be enough to put him down but this guy is more of a badass than we originally planned for.
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)03:03 No.16782295
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16782286
    >Giant flying shark.
    Haha, oh wow.

    Try and land on it, then use Biomancy to render it harmless.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:03 No.16782297
    rolled 7 = 7

    >>16782286

    Slap his shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:03 No.16782299
    rolled 8 = 8

    >>16782277
    Two double dubs.

    Also DAMN! WEB HIS ASS RIGHT NOW! He's behind us in the air, if we web him hard enough he will plummet to the earth.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/30/11(Sun)03:03 No.16782301
    rolled 9 = 9

    Pessimist that I am, I kinda feel this ain't over yet.
    Roll for webbing what's left of the King when we pull up the meteor.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:03 No.16782302
    rolled 1 = 1

    >>16782286
    Tackle him, puncture his skin with our claws, slam him back into the ground, and use our combined necromancy and biomancy to REMOVE HIS SKELETON!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:03 No.16782306
         File1319958239.jpg-(48 KB, 293x208, 1279165661008.jpg)
    48 KB
    rolled 31 = 31

    >>16782297

    Agreed.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:04 No.16782307
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16782286

    BIOMANCY UP SOME TREES AND VINES AND SHIT

    PICK THAT FUCKING METEOR BACK UP

    AND HIT HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE WITH IT AGAIN
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:04 No.16782312
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16782286
    Biomance up some wooden armor for us to take his charge.
    Bearex will fuck his shit up while we stay protected.
    Boys, I think we found our next skeleton. Oh, and by the way:
    Blorp.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:04 No.16782313
    rolled 27 = 27

    >>16782286
    >>16782299
    Reroll for this! If he can't move his tail he can't swim!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:05 No.16782316
    rolled 25 = 25

    >>16782286
    ...dump all strength, willpower, concentration and RAW FUCKING TRUE GRIT into the Shape shift ability. Grow and grow dwarf his small frame then fucking belly slam his finny ass into the ground.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:05 No.16782318
    rolled 15 = 15

    I dunno, not die somehow
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:06 No.16782323
    rolled 5 = 5

    You know what you're supposed to do in the event of a shark attack?

    Punch it in the goddamn snout to establish dominance. That should be even easier now since we're not even in water.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:06 No.16782324
    rolled 31 = 31

    >>16782286
    Well, I guess we're fucked. Good game.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:06 No.16782325
    rolled 15 = 15

    Rawling for shit slapping.

    Seriously though guys, we need to upgrade the fuck out of our dude.

    This guy survived a fucking metro falling on him, after getting his neck ripped open and still wants to murder us.

    Could you honestly say we could do that with our pussy little slamander?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:06 No.16782329
    rolled 1 = 1

    >>16782286

    A shark-elf, how cute. Latch on, and get the biomancy started on shutting off his heart.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:07 No.16782331
    rolled 19 = 19

    >>16782277

    We took out a fucking T-Rex that was in perfect condition, this is a cakewalk.

    Summon Bearrex
    Create vine catapult
    Launch Bearrex and us at its eye to RIP AND TEAR
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:07 No.16782333
    rolled 2 = 2

    God fucking damnit what's up with these low rolls?

    The dice gods are displeased with us. They need more sacrifices! Let us make this monster the first offering to appease the ancients.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)03:08 No.16782338
         File1319958488.jpg-(99 KB, 490x327, 1319493319956.jpg)
    99 KB
    ... the.. the highest roll is "SLAP HIS SHIT."

    GOING WITH THAT.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:08 No.16782339
    rolled 28 = 28

    >>16782307

    Seconding this!

    C'mon crits, where are you?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:08 No.16782342
    rolled 15 = 15

    >>16782306
    Hopefully we slap his shit with something better than our adorable nubs and rending claws. Cause that bitch is a shark.

    Didn't we once threaten to bear slap someone? Let's bearex slap this fucker. Let's command bearex to get ready, use biomancy to sprout a tree under it, and have bearex jump off of the platform to give it enough of a boost to slap his fucking shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:08 No.16782345
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>16782297
    >>16782299
    >>16782301
    >>16782302
    >>16782323
    >>16782329
    >>16782333

    I think we might die today. We might as well rush him and die with a blaze of glory. To the victor goes the spoils as they say.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:08 No.16782346
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16782286
    Soar and fly as fast and as high as we can, then about face and dive hard and fast. Dive bomb directly into his shit eating teethy mouth and barrel into his soft insides. If we gained the momentum blast out the other side. If not RIP AND TEAR!

    No one would expect us to fly INTO the Megs-sharks mouth.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:09 No.16782347
    rolled 8 = 8

    >>16782333
    Nah, our ideas just aren't crazy enough yet.

    WE ARE STARING DOWN THE BARREL OF A MORTALLY WOUNDED, INCREDIBLY PISSED OFF SHARK

    I SAY

    I SAY WE GO DOWN HIS GULLET BEFORE HE GETS A CHANCE TO CHEW

    AND RUIN HIS SHIT FROM THE INSIDE
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:09 No.16782348
    rolled 28 = 28

    >>16782333

    Well you sacrificed a trips post for that. Hopefully that helps.

    Fingers crossed.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:09 No.16782352
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16782286

    Fly down. Get Bearex in range. Latch on when the bones beat the flesh.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:09 No.16782353
         File1319958590.jpg-(89 KB, 639x480, evos.jpg)
    89 KB
    >>16782286
    Go back to the meteor, sit in front of it, juke it just like last time, bite just like last time. Sometimes you have to do it multiple times.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/30/11(Sun)03:09 No.16782356
    rolled 25 = 25

    Biomance some vines and leafdancer storm into his mouth. Which inevitably be chewed up and, perhaps, swallowed. Then we work the magic inside out...
    Similarly, web and vine to wedge his mouth open then we zoom in. Wreak havoc.

    Call Aazz and Bearrex to help.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:09 No.16782357
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16782347
    >>16782346
    >ramming speed mind
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:09 No.16782359
    rolled 17 = 17

    >>16782286
    We die.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 10/30/11(Sun)03:10 No.16782361
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16782313
    Agreed! The shark cannot breathe if you diable his swimming!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:10 No.16782362
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>16782353
    Rollan
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:10 No.16782365
         File1319958651.jpg-(108 KB, 300x309, 1291479002882.jpg)
    108 KB
    rolled 36 = 36

    >>16782345

    You all might have given up hope but I REFUSE to die to some elven king! Our might has stopped celestial bodies in their tracks, what does this fool think he can do to us!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:11 No.16782368
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16782347

    Not ballsy enough for the dice gods. We need to go in the back door. Time to roll for anal circumference.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:11 No.16782369
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16782365

    Or we could just slap his shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:12 No.16782376
    You know, I think I figured out the pattern in our dice rolls.

    I think the more impassioned a poster is while he types, the higher is die roll tends to come up.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:12 No.16782377
         File1319958757.jpg-(50 KB, 432x346, 114.jpg)
    50 KB
    rolled 8 = 8

    GOD-BLORPING-FUCK-DAMMIT

    WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN WHERE THE FUCKING HELL DID ALL THE CRITICAL ROLLS BUGGER OFF TO.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:12 No.16782379
         File1319958763.jpg-(55 KB, 480x502, 1318426602882.jpg)
    55 KB
    No offense to the 'slap shit' posters but if that gets us out of this bind after we basically ripped his throat out and dropped a space rock on him I'm going to be miffed.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:12 No.16782380
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16782365
    Yes! The dice gods are pleased with our anger! Biomance a tree to sprout up and hit him from underneath him! Spear him with the very earth its self!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:13 No.16782386
         File1319958810.png-(6 KB, 400x400, 1303266231722.png)
    6 KB
    >>16782365

    Well we finally got a roll over a 35.

    After the cutoff point.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:13 No.16782391
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16782286

    Just remembered this from the last thread. Let's biomancy-necromancy combo and cause his skeleton to shoot out his eye sockets.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:14 No.16782395
    rolled 28 = 28

    Spear the Fucker with a tree
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:14 No.16782396
    rolled 39, 29, 29, 19, 35, 1, 13, 39, 23, 40 = 267

    >>16782377
    Hang on I think I have some critical rolls in this box I just found
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:15 No.16782402
    rolled 27 = 27

    40 get
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:15 No.16782405
    rolled 14 = 14

    We may die today, but if we are to die...let's die slapping his shit.

    Let's slap his shit so hard it crawls buck up his asshole and becomes compacted, eventually causing him to die from maggot infestation.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:15 No.16782406
    Sharks don't fly on our watch!!
    Shoot it down with the meteor.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:15 No.16782407
    >>16782396
    4/10
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:16 No.16782410
    rolled 9 = 9

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1g7jNePGTU&feature=related

    FLY INTO HIM
    GRAPPLE HIS UNDERSIDE
    DIVE BOMB BOTH OF US INTO A SUICIDAL SONIC BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM VELOCITY NOSE DIVE

    "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'LL KILL US BOTH?!"

    >BLOOOOOORPPPP!!!!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:18 No.16782424
    rolled 7 = 7

    >>16782406
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 10/30/11(Sun)03:18 No.16782425
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16782396
    >nat 1
    >nat 40
    >two 39s
    my god, where id you find that box? I'm gonna look for one, too!
    Also rolling to do some kind of amphibian Aikido to make sharkman eat dirt. Then we disembowel him using biomance'd vines up his digestive tract.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:19 No.16782432
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>16782426
    Dubs and a crit go
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:19 No.16782433
    rolled 20 = 20

    >>16782426

    BY THE POWER OF ASGARD I SUMMON 40'S!!!!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:19 No.16782435
    rolled 14 = 14

    >>16782426
    FOR THE BLORP!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:19 No.16782436
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16782426
    SLAP HIS SHIT STRAIGHT INTO THE MOTHERBLORPING GROUND!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:20 No.16782438
    rolled 22 = 22

    >>16782426
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)03:20 No.16782439
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16782432
    >>16782433
    >>16782435
    What the fuck?
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 10/30/11(Sun)03:20 No.16782440
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16782426
    ZOG IT MATES, WAAAAGGGGHHHH FIELD ONLINE!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:20 No.16782441
         File1319959226.jpg-(13 KB, 235x244, 1315386465318.jpg)
    13 KB
    >>16782432
    >>16782433
    >>16782435

    Oh god... oh sweet gleep no....
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:21 No.16782446
         File1319959264.jpg-(63 KB, 599x405, aku2.jpg)
    63 KB
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16782432
    >>16782433
    >>16782435
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:21 No.16782447
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16782426
    I CALL UPON THEE DICE GODS, GIVE ME YOUR STRENGTH!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:21 No.16782451
         File1319959302.png-(283 KB, 640x417, terrible_fate.png)
    283 KB
    >>16782432
    >>16782433
    >>16782435
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 10/30/11(Sun)03:21 No.16782453
    rolled 28 = 28

    >>16782441
    I think we may have just lost a limb.
    But fuck that, we got biomancy!
    Get our (potentially eaten) limb to grow from the inside out, tearing the shark in the process!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:22 No.16782456
    rolled 8 = 8

    >>16782453
    THIS!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:22 No.16782458
    rolled 21 = 21

    Damn! This can't happen!

    YOU CAN DO IT LITTLE BLORP GUY!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:22 No.16782459
    rolled 20 = 20

    Nice game, gentlemen, nice game. It seems, however, that the dice gods do not favour us in our hour of need.

    If there is any hope left, however, I think that we should be able to take out both ourselves and this false king so that our name will go down in legend. The word blorp shall become a word that will be told to woodfolk children to scare them, and blorp will become the rallying cry for future generations of lizardmen resistance.

    In the name of the ancients, amen.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:22 No.16782462
         File1319959351.jpg-(94 KB, 623x700, 1317636199815.jpg)
    94 KB
    >>16782432
    >>16782433
    >>16782435
    I wonder /tg/.... have you ever seen a God die?
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/30/11(Sun)03:23 No.16782465
    Mm, need to cut down posting to do A and do B.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:23 No.16782468
         File1319959402.png-(1.36 MB, 2266x2999, The_First_Giga_Drill_by_ludek_(...).png)
    1.36 MB
    rolled 19 = 19

    I somehow think that we're not doing this right.
    Summon bearex. Get on his head.
    Biomancy+Necromancy TWO FUCKING BONE DRILLS. THAT SPROUT MORE DRILLS.
    CHARGE THE FUCKER TO THE METEOR ABOVE AND BEYOND.
    WE'VE GOT THE FUCKING POWER OF EVOLUTION AND WE'RE USING IT.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:23 No.16782470
    rolled 2 = 2

    This entire thread is littered with nothing BUT shit-tier rolls. Really this dice system sucks dick.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:23 No.16782471
    rolled 22 = 22

    ROLL
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:23 No.16782473
         File1319959419.gif-(375 KB, 800x600, 1308938170971.gif)
    375 KB
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>16782379

    NO!

    IT WON'T END LIKE THIS!

    I REFUSE TO GO DOWN LIKE A CHUMP TO THIS CHUCKLEFUCK.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:24 No.16782475
    >>16782432
    >>16782433
    >>16782435
    Welp.
    Good game guys.
    Good game.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:24 No.16782478
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16782470

    Look at that. A fucking 2. A god damn fucking 2. I bet i'm going to get less than 20 on this roll. Less than 25 if i'm lucky.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:24 No.16782483
    rolled 11 = 11

    The dice gods helped us accomplish so much, and yet now they abandon us.

    What will you have us do dice gods? Is this a test of our faith?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:25 No.16782489
         File1319959509.png-(20 KB, 642x715, 1316929448461.png)
    20 KB
    >>16782473
    Teh dice Gods found our cleverness and will to live lacking. Had we air grappled or cannon balled through his GI track maybe.... but shit slapping is PC tier fighting style. We were given the gift of Godhood and we squandered it.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:25 No.16782491
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>16782478
    Now they're just mocking us.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:25 No.16782494
         File1319959524.gif-(1.19 MB, 280x166, 1311086466104.gif)
    1.19 MB
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16782470

    The first half of this thread was littered with them. But they were premature.

    As soon as the king rose from what we thought was his grave, the dice gods have refused to answer our pleas.

    So FUCK THE DICE GODS, WE MAKE OUR OWN BLORPING LUCK.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:25 No.16782495
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16782478

    Oh, now I get a 32. I bet i'll get a 1 this post as a sign of the ancients disfavor. It was me who had to roll that final roll. It was all up to me, yet victory can still be achieved. The fabled 40 must be taken from the hands of fate.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:25 No.16782498
    rolled 29 = 29

    What? No! We will beat this fucker dead even if we have to do it with our own severed arm dammit! The very forest will shake with our blows!

    It is time TG.

    We must Alpha strike. We must hit him with everything we have. We must use all of our powers.

    Necromancy up the army of dead, Biomancy vines and trees to spear and attack him, Shapeshift into the biggest fucking thing we can, and blast out our peace aura like a boss because we can. Tear him apart!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:26 No.16782504
    rolled 22 = 22

    >>16782495
    Why do the Dice taunt us so?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:26 No.16782508
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16782495

    Okay, dice gods, if you give us a 40 we shall no longer proclaim to be a god, but we shall venerate the ancient ones from behind the stars and we shall serve as their avatars on earth.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:27 No.16782512
    rolled 17 = 17

    >>16782508
    HOLY FUCKING SHIT
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:27 No.16782513
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16782498
    row row kill that fucker
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:27 No.16782514
         File1319959644.png-(190 KB, 848x783, 3453636345.png)
    190 KB
    >>16782508
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)03:27 No.16782516
         File1319959654.jpg-(34 KB, 611x458, 1315203656734.jpg)
    34 KB
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16782508
    Oh wow.
    What.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:28 No.16782523
    rolled 5 = 5

    >inb4 shitstorm.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:28 No.16782524
    rolled 38 = 38

    What is one arm to us? Even if he severs it with his fucking mouterfucking mouth that gives us free reign to biomancy-fuck his shit. We are Blorp the God of Life and Death and THIS PUSSY ASS ELF-SHARK IS ABOUT TO FEEL OUR MOTHERFUCKING FURY!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:28 No.16782528
         File1319959729.jpg-(174 KB, 600x450, 1303214249081.jpg)
    174 KB
    rolled 27 = 27

    WE WILL DEFEAT THIS MONSTER EVEN IF WE HAVE TO CLAW OUR WAY OUT OF THE BOWELS OF HELL TO DO IT.

    HEAVEN OR HELL, LET'S ROCK
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:28 No.16782529
         File1319959730.png-(140 KB, 933x408, 1297361352312.png)
    140 KB
    >>16782508
    Wait, what?
    I... What? WHAT?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:29 No.16782532
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16782508
    >>16782508

    We must give the gods offerings! They watch our actions and guide us from the darkness between stars, and we must give them sacrifice if they are to alter fate in our favour!

    We must burn the bodies of every woodfolk to them, and then burn the forest in their glory!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:29 No.16782534
    rolled 11 = 11

    >>16782508
    I think the dice gods have answered us. They want us to venerate them in honor! We shall, if they grant us this one last thing. We. Must. Not. Lose.

    Beat this... This thing to death, in honor of our gods!
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)03:29 No.16782538
    rolled 15 = 15

    >>16782532
    Or we could fashion die out of their bones.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:29 No.16782539
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>16782524
    The dice gods we're angry we proclaimed to be their equal!

    We must lower ourselves before their might and make good on our promises!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:29 No.16782541
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16782453

    I would also like to point out our limb would be dead as well. We can spin that fucker right round, like a record player, slashing as it goes. Armor means nothing in the digestive tract.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:30 No.16782543
         File1319959814.jpg-(65 KB, 729x694, 1314851654772.jpg)
    65 KB
    >>16782508

    ...

    Well then.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/30/11(Sun)03:30 No.16782544
    rolled 34 = 34

    >>16782453
    This.
    Don't resist the bite, don't lose the connection. We are now in touching range with one limb inside his mouth.

    Bioshiftmance some spikes from your arm or just necrobiomance his rotting body to rupture.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:30 No.16782545
    rolled 15 = 15

    >>16782495
    Dice gods are fuckers. All of them are.

    Also, Combine with bearex into bonedrills for hands nightmare god and slap his shit again! HARDER!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:30 No.16782547
         File1319959827.jpg-(8 KB, 256x223, gaia_2.jpg)
    8 KB
    rolled 33 = 33

    >OP is taking so long because he is writing our eulogy in a glorious final burst of death and blood as our Blorp God dies his deserving death.
    >Next thread we will begin anew with another potential God. The legend of Bloorp being used as a cautionary tale as well as a guide
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:31 No.16782553
    rolled 33 = 33

    >>16782539
    Dude, I got a 38 on that. They're clearly just fucking with us.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:31 No.16782555
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16782531

    No, I was not angry that occurred. I was angry that I had not realized our own blasphemy. That is why the gods did not give us their blessings.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:31 No.16782557
    >>16782532
    wood folk yes forest no
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:33 No.16782569
    rolled 33 = 33

    >>16782508
    Well, if -I- get a 40, I say that the outer gods are not so unwise as to send only ONE avatar. There are others.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:35 No.16782583
    rolled 33 = 33

    >>16782569
    So a 33...is that like a maybe?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:35 No.16782584
         File1319960103.png-(16 KB, 125x125, 1317460707944.png)
    16 KB
    >>16782547
    >Death of Blorp

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3j1JLGAMmE&feature=related

    Please... no.....
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:35 No.16782587
         File1319960119.gif-(288 KB, 250x250, 1314396419418.gif)
    288 KB
    rolled 37 = 37

    >the dice gods faces
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:35 No.16782589
    SECOND THREAD ARCHIVED

    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16782067/

    VOTE IT UP TO PLEASE THE DICE GODS
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:35 No.16782591
    rolled 36 = 36

    >>16782583
    I almost raged, almost freaked out.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:37 No.16782601
    rolled 35 = 35

    Now we're getting high rolls out the ass...
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:37 No.16782604
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16782601
    see
    >>16782587
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:38 No.16782609
    rolled 37 = 37

    >>16782601
    It's obviously because we now accept the Outer Gods as our rulers, and accept ourselves as their Avatar.
    Isn't that right, dice gods?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:38 No.16782610
    rolled 36 = 36

    Will OP...

    can Blorp really die?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:38 No.16782612
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16782601

    Because the terms and conditions with the Dark Ones has been worked out. They see to bless us with their divine will.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:38 No.16782613
    rolled 29 = 29

    >>16782601
    >>16782591
    >>16782587
    Three crits in a row...
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:39 No.16782615
    rolled 34 = 34

    >>16782609
    Either that or the dice gods are trolling. The Dice gods do that.
    Isn't that right, dice gods?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:39 No.16782622
    rolled 35 = 35

    >>16782613
    In descending sequential order.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)03:39 No.16782623
         File1319960371.jpg-(30 KB, 290x277, SOL.jpg)
    30 KB
    >>16782432
    >>16782433
    >>16782435
    ... but even wounded, the King is smarter than that.

    Impossibly fast, King Kuraselache flows AROUND your massive hand and lowers his head; you have just enough time to swipe air before the shark smashes into you- you SWEAR that you can feel your skull crack, even as your armor's spike embeds itself in Kuraselace's forehead.

    >"YOU DARE... MAKE SPORT OF ME...!?"

    And he... doesn't bite, but he doesn't stop flying, either- rather, he speeds up, carrying you with him. For a few seconds, you are dazed, but when you recover, you realize that the clouds are growing farther and farther away- and that's when the injured shark king slams you full-force into the side of Sunfang Meteor. You feel something break- something on your back- and EVERYTHING IS PAIN.

    Distantly, you feel the wind rushing by again before you bounce off the ground, rolling to a stop at the foot of the meteor. Your hearing fades, just enough to blunt out the horrified shrieks of the sunfangs and King Kuraselache's booming, liquidy laughter...

    ... but you pick yourself back up on your forelegs, squinting at all three images of the shark rushing towards you again. You are broken, but not beaten yet; you cannot feel your wings or your legs, but you can feel your minions rushing towards the battle- and they may be late.

    You don't know if you can-
    (continued)
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:39 No.16782625
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16782615
    Not a single roll under 20...

    yeah, that's pretty troll-tastic if I do say so myself.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:39 No.16782627
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16782609
    Nope, they're just trolling the shit out of us.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:41 No.16782634
    rolled 27 = 27

    From this I conclude:
    The Ancient ones from beyond the stars have known trolling from beyond Time and Space.
    And we shall be the avatars of their Trolling.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:41 No.16782635
    >>16782623
    That image is.... concerning
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)03:41 No.16782637
         File1319960468.jpg-(188 KB, 1600x1200, sun-and-sky-6.jpg)
    188 KB
    >>16782508
    >40
    >... we shall no longer proclaim to be a god, but we shall venerate the ancient ones from behind the stars and we shall serve as their avatars on earth...

    They hear you. The sun flares.

    And you hear an echo of the past.

    >"... journey will not be easy. Only the strong... survive. This is a trial... my father. I hope... survive this trial and meet..."

    New strength flows into you. Not enough to bring you back to full health, and you don't know if it'll be enough to take this fucker on. But you stand back up and face down King Kuraselache.

    ... one last chance.

    >COMMAND?
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)03:42 No.16782648
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16782637
    Fly into the air and land on top of Kuraselache, then use Biomancy to kill him.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:43 No.16782652
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16782637
    SKULLFUCK HIM

    FOR THE EMPRAH!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:43 No.16782653
    rolled 7 = 7

    >>16782637
    Duck, since I assume he's floating, what with sky shark and all.

    Then rend our claws into his underbelly and spill his intestines into our mouth, dive into his corpse, and eat him from the inside out.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:43 No.16782655
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16782637
    Whipttail him. It doesn't matter where. Once we establish contact we use our biomancy to make him experience the worst pain imaginable. Then, once he is writhing on the ground in agony we take control of his skeleton and force him to rip his own flesh off.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:43 No.16782656
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16782637
    Can we try to hijack his body with biomancy?
    We're pretty beaten up and our body can't serve us well on this fight.
    But maybe our mind could do the job. Change his brain wiring and disconnect his mind from his body. Then put our brain into his body.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:43 No.16782659
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16782637
    Invoke the power of the Ancient ones with a Blorp.

    Do nothing else. Just, invoke their power, say "Blorp", and stand still, awaiting their divine intervention.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:43 No.16782660
    rolled 28 = 28

    >>16782627

    We do not need to hide from the truth. You may call it "trolling" but the will of the gods has been decried.

    >>16782508
    >>16782508
    >>16782508
    >>16782508
    >>16782508
    >>16782508
    >>16782508
    >>16782508
    >>16782508
    >>16782508
    >>16782508
    >>16782508
    >>16782508
    >>16782508

    The choice is ours to follow it into glory or fall and be forgotten.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:43 No.16782661
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16782648
    We have been favored.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:43 No.16782664
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16782637
    He's already dying, more than us anyways. Let's just avoid him, and hope it stays that way (maybe make him crash into the meteor again, and take him when he's stunned).
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:44 No.16782669
    rolled 1 = 1

    >>16782637
    Smash his shit with Bear rex. Don't even bother biting just slam his full weight into the Mega Shark. It may result in Bearex's bones betting shattered but it is a necessary spendature. While he is distracted invade his gills with brangles of thorny thick vines then hurl our mangled body at his throat. Slash it open and keep cutting until we hit dirt of the other side.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:44 No.16782673
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>16782637
    Slap His Shit like no creature has Slapped Shit before. Put all of your powers to use to make this Slap echo beyond the stars.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:44 No.16782674
    >>16782637
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISTUj3ytaQo
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:45 No.16782676
    rolled 19 = 19

    >>16782637

    Biomancy root-spears from as many places around the king as possible.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:45 No.16782679
    rolled 28 = 28

    >>16782653
    Reroll for gory meal time.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:45 No.16782680
    rolled 34 = 34

    >>16782648
    >>16782655
    Can we combine these?
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 10/30/11(Sun)03:45 No.16782686
    rolled 16 = 16

    >>16782637
    Bloody hell, I'm getting nervous about rolling... but let's try and take this tyrant down. Even if it means we're going down as well. We're gonna go down as our title; we go down guarding the earth.
    Biomance like crazy, use the whole forest to drown sharkyboy in leafs; when that doesn't work, we cover ourselves in so much organic matter that we're in a plant Gundam and fight the shark, hand-to-hand, like crazy.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:46 No.16782688
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16782664
    That is some pussy shit.

    Slap him. Mean it this time.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:46 No.16782690
    rolled 28 = 28

    >>16782648

    We must call upon the powers given to us by the Old Gods Who Reign! Look past hte veil of sorcery and into the heart of reality! Remove the threads that bind his matter together and let him fall at our feet in a puddle of goo.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:46 No.16782694
    rolled 8 = 8

    >>16782669
    RIP AND TEAR!

    Plus I want bone rex to actually DO something this thread
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:48 No.16782709
    rolled 20 = 20

    We bight him so that we can mind control him.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:48 No.16782710
    rolled 33 = 33

    Rolling for critical slap.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:49 No.16782716
    >>16782637
    Biomance him into something twisted.
    send in bearex
    Just throw everything at him
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:49 No.16782718
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16782637

    Do not look to past glories to lead us, we must gather the channeled energies and alter our form to become a better representation of the great one's wrath!

    GOD MODE: ACTIVATED
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:50 No.16782733
    rolled 35 = 35

    >>16782637
    Time to rely on a little help from our friends. Call out to Razz, get a blade leaf storm to slice and cut at the Kings face. Direct the rest of the Sunfang spear men to hop on his back and begin butchering his flesh. Bind him down as much as possible with webbing and keep him still. We are too weak to finish this ourselves.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:52 No.16782747
         File1319961136.png-(62 KB, 1500x1298, 1315502507593.png)
    62 KB
    >>16782648
    Didn't our wings get mangled?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:52 No.16782748
    >>16782733
    This. And biomancy everyone to a giant Sunfang abomination to fight this fucker.
    Also, add some drills.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:52 No.16782754
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16782748
    Forgot my roll.
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)03:52 No.16782755
    rolled 39 = 39

    >>16782747
    Well, we were just healed, so I assume they're at least functional.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:53 No.16782757
    rolled 16 + 5 = 21

    Why shouldn't we just start calling ourselves gods again after the victory?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:53 No.16782759
    rolled 27 = 27

    >>16782747

    The power of the Ancients flows through us, we can do anything should they decree it necessary.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:53 No.16782763
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16782755
    >39

    The ancient ones favor you, prophet of the gods!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:56 No.16782779
    rolled 39 = 39

    I wonder if the gods got confused and gave us low roles thinking we were trying to roll under?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:56 No.16782782
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16782757

    Because of the dice, man. You don't piss off the dice gods. We already were granted multiple crits for acknowledging their death-grip over our fates. Do you really want to try their patience after that?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:57 No.16782785
    rolled 27 = 27

    >>16782779
    I maintain that they were fucking with us.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:57 No.16782790
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>16782733
    This isn't Pussy Out and Rely on Allies Quest. This is Motherfucking Blorp God Quest and we are the motherfucking Blorp God and we will fucking act like it.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)03:58 No.16782799
    >>16782648
    >>16782680
    >38
    You flex your wings, and sharp pain sears through the right side of your body... but that's fine. You don't need to fly. You only need to get on top of the big guy- who is approaching FAST.

    >"YOU SHALL KNOW... THE FURY OF *OUR* GOD...!"

    You figure that you're probably not a god. You may be crystal-favored, but not a god- not with so many others who can tap into the crystals in this land alone.

    But if King Kuraselache's god- and the Tyrant King's god, and the woodfolk's god- is the one TRUE god, you would be still lying broken on the ground.

    You jump back up into the air- but King Kuraselache, still streaming blood in thin trickles, anticipates the move and angles his bite *just so* that your body will be speared by more teeth than you have followers-

    >>16782755
    >39

    - but your wings flap once, twice, and you're high enough that you can whipcrack his snout with your tail, channeling Biomancy.

    Perhaps if he were still whole and unbroken, he could have resisted it and chomped you in half anyway, but here, here...

    It's enough.

    Immediately, King Kuraselache's whole maw starts flowing like silly putty, twisting AWAY from you as if repelled by an invisible barrier; the gargled shriek from his deformed head will give everyone in a five mile radius nightmares, but you push on. Momentum pushes King Kuraselache's body farther and farther into the throes of your power, and the shark snaps and twists and breaks in ways not intended to by ANY body, crystal-favored or no.

    Soon enough, the shark's deformed body falls- or spatters- to the ground around you in streamers-

    - and Bearex stomps on the still-falling remains, screeches to a stop, and starts nuzzling you, green fire bathing the both of you in a strange light.

    You are victorious, and your people- still routing the woodfolk- await.

    >COMMAND?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:59 No.16782807
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16782790
    Fuck you Dicegods.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)03:59 No.16782809
    rolled 30 = 30

    >>16782785

    Fun fact: The Dice Gods feed purely on spite! If you are winning, it is only because someone else's tears taste more delicious.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:00 No.16782811
    rolled 14 = 14

    >>16782799
    CONSUME HIS FLESH! ABSORB HIS POWER!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:00 No.16782816
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16782799

    The gods have granted us victory, now we must appease them! Burn all of the dead wood folk bodies, kill those who resist our might, but try to keep the females alive.

    Our reward, however, is to feast upon this false kings body, so that we might better serve our gods.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:00 No.16782820
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16782799
    Consume him, thank the gods from beyond the stars for your meal.
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)04:00 No.16782823
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16782799
    Eat him, then add his bones to Bearex.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:01 No.16782826
    rolled 22 = 22

    >>16782799
    Heal.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:02 No.16782836
    rolled 30 = 30

    Rout the still fighting Woodfolk into either death or submission.

    Then, feast on the dead that their sacrifices might not be in vain. Their death will become our power. Such is the cycle.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:02 No.16782839
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16782816
    >>16782820
    >>16782823

    Obviously the god's do not want us to eat him. No, first we must give IMMEDIATE sacrifice to the ancient ones, starting with those slain in battle INCLUDING the king.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:02 No.16782843
    rolled 2292524 = 2292524

    dicks

    GIANT PREHENSILE DICKS EVERYWHERE
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:02 No.16782845
    rolled 27 = 27

    >>16782823
    >Shark
    >Bones

    Do I need to get a third grader in here to tell you how dumb you are?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:03 No.16782850
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16782799
    Use biomancy to use individual vines from the surrounding area to tie up the people giving our sunfang the most trouble. Insist that they destroy the opponents. Begin eating our new dinner.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:04 No.16782856
    rolled 29 = 29

    >>16782839
    >10
    Nope, they want us to eat him.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/30/11(Sun)04:05 No.16782865
    rolled 5 = 5

    Armor-up in Bearrex and hoist up Kura remains
    Declare the battle over
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)04:05 No.16782867
    rolled 11 = 11

    >>16782845
    Didn't even cross my mind, actually. Thanks for reminding me, though.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:05 No.16782868
    rolled 11 = 11

    >>16782799
    Blorp in praise to the Ancient Ones from beyond the stars.
    Get Zazz, Aazz and Razz to do so as well.
    Then, after the prayer, we eat.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:06 No.16782873
    rolled 2 = 2

    newish lurker here, been following this quest from sup/tg/. OP, this is insanely awesome.

    I say we turn his corpse into a sculpture beside the meteor, eternally marking our victory, if there's enough of it left after we eat it. If not, add SHARK TEETH to our Bearex.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:06 No.16782875
    rolled 5 = 5

    OM NOM NOM NOM NOM OM
    NOM OM NOM NOM OM NOM
    NOM NOM OM OM NOM NOM
    NOM NOM OM OM NOM NOM
    NOM OM NOM NOM OM NOM
    OM NOM NOM NOM NOM OM
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:07 No.16782879
    rolled 31 = 31

    >>16782868
    Have the Sunfang, ALL OF THEM, scour the battle field.

    CRYSTALS!

    CRYSTALS OF BLORP-MAN!

    We NEED to upgrade and heal .We are alive through divine intervention and cuteness factor right now.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:07 No.16782880
    rolled 36 = 36

    >>16782845
    Sharks may not have a skeleton, but they do have some bone.

    They've got teeth. Lots and lots of teeth.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:07 No.16782887
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16782879
    THIS
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:08 No.16782895
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16782823
    this then we aid or follows after we are victorious we should declare there the true gods have shown us the error of our ways we were mistaken we are not a god we are but a fraction of the might of the true gods but we are a part of that might and we shall bring our bronevolence to all.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:08 No.16782896
    rolled 14 = 14

    By the way...

    How did the king have pockets in metal armor?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:09 No.16782900
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16782896
    >>16782896
    >>16782896
    >>16782896
    >>16782896
    >>16782896
    >>16782896
    >>16782896
    >>16782896
    >>16782896
    >>16782896
    >>16782896
    >>16782896
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:09 No.16782903
    rolled 37 = 37

    I don't care what the fuck you have to say about the dice gods, they gave us one of the most interesting plot twists in a long while and made this thread the awesomest on /tg/.

    >inb4 someone corrects me on proper grammar.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)04:09 No.16782907
    >>16782836
    ... even though you're no god, you're still one fucking badass; that is why your people revere and look up to you. Probably. Even though you kind of got broken like a toy (though to be fair, that fucking King...).

    Regardless, you still have work to do.

    You get Bearex to lift you into its midsection/T-Rex skull, and he keeps his mouth open slightly to keep you visible... and his feet pound the ground, sending him dashing towards the last battle.

    It's more of a standoff. The four woodfolk swordsman, the royal guard, are standing over a few dead sunfang clubbers, but they're virtually surrounded by the rest of your people. No one has made a move yet.

    Upon your arrival, everyone- and I mean EVERYONE- looks up to you (or perhaps to Bearex).

    >>16782879
    ... and you immediately BLORP at some of the sunfang to scour the battlefield. THEN you turn to look at the woodfolk swordsmen, who make no move, lest you and your minion snap them up like flies.

    >COMMAND?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:10 No.16782909
         File1319962210.jpg-(13 KB, 280x260, foreveralone.jpg)
    13 KB
    >....first roll on /tg/

    >roll a 2
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:11 No.16782923
    rolled 28 = 28

    >>16782907
    Rape them.

    Rape them with your BearRex femur....
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:11 No.16782926
    >>16782799
    He was a worthy rival.
    Merely eating it will not satisfy our hunger.
    No, we must do more.
    Reanimate him.
    Make him tear his own heart away from his body.
    Make him scream that he has lost.
    Then, cut his head. Eat his eyes. He shall not see anymore. Tear his arms. They shall not rise against you. Break his legs, and make him bow to you. He shall not stand again to fight you.
    Desecrate his spirit. Rend his soul. Discard the meat. Crush his bones. Make it gore-y. We're not eating him. He won't be a part of us. Anybody that rises against us deserves worse than that.
    Make everybody see that, and spread the our enemy survivors across the land. Everybody else must know.
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)04:11 No.16782928
    rolled 20 = 20

    >>16782907
    Give them a chance to surrender. If they don't, slaughter them.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:11 No.16782929
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16782907
    Shotgun every crystal in our possession.

    At one time.

    Right before announcing to the Woodfucks, "Want to see a magic trick?"
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:12 No.16782934
    rolled 34 = 34

    >>16782923
    This for laughs.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)04:12 No.16782937
         File1319962339.png-(230 KB, 290x330, 1318443262837.png)
    230 KB
    >>16782896
    >>16782900
    ...

    THERE WILL BE A BONUS AT THE END OF TONIGHT'S THREAD.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:12 No.16782941
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16782907
    >>16782926
    Forgot my roll.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:13 No.16782943
    rolled 33 = 33

    >>16782937
    Imokaywiththis.jpg
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:13 No.16782946
    rolled 3 = 3

    Bearex needs to close his mouth to protect us.

    Then? CHARGE. Blorping all the time. Bonus points if we can shapeshift our limbs into vines to come out of his eye sockets, all four of them, to rend the last one to pieces personally.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:13 No.16782951
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16782941
    >nat fucking 40

    We're back baby.
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)04:13 No.16782953
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16782941
    Fuck yes.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:14 No.16782955
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16782907

    Rape the females and keep the males alive to teach our troops the way of swordsmanship.
    >> dice+1d40 Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:15 No.16782969
    >>16782941

    christ on a crutch

    rolling to support this further? maybe my second roll will be better
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:15 No.16782971
    rolled 36 = 36

    >>16782955
    >rape
    The dice Gods and blorp himself look upon you with disgust

    Rape is what common thugs and corrupt kings with delusions of God hood revel in.

    We have ACTUAL God stuff to take care of.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:15 No.16782973
    rolled 7 = 7

    >>16782955
    NO!

    We must rape ALL of them with BeaRex's FEMUR

    TO DEATH
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:16 No.16782982
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16782934
    The dice gods dost smile upon this rape roll.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:17 No.16782988
    rolled 28 = 28

    Did you guys forget?

    We are the Patron Saint of Brohood.

    We only rape figuratively.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:17 No.16782989
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16782982
    No they don't
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:17 No.16782991
    rolled 28 = 28

    >>16782969

    doing it wrong, derp
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:17 No.16782994
    rolled 22 = 22

    >>16782955
    >>16782973
    The gods do give you their blessing. Your petty desires are not looked highly upon by the gods.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:18 No.16782996
    rolled 36 = 36

    >>16782989
    Don't they?

    A 28, a 34, and then a 38.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:19 No.16783009
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>16782996
    And then a 36.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:20 No.16783014
    rolled 14 = 14

    >>16782926
    >>16782941
    wellp the dice gods have spoken
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)04:22 No.16783029
    >>16782982
    >>16782934
    >>16782923
    >Wikipedia: "The femur (pl. femurs or femora), or thigh bone, is the most proximal (closest to the center of the body) bone of the leg in tetrapod vertebrates capable of walking or jumping ...."

    You ARE feeling particularly vindictive tonight, but... you are not sure how you're going to go about doing this.

    You settle for walking Bearex over to them (or chasing them as they start fleeing), one and a time, and make damn sure to kneel Bearex's gigantic knee/thighbone/leg down onto their crotches or asses, and ONLY their crotches or asses.

    Repeatedly.

    It is not pleasant experience for the woodfolk swordsmen, and the result has many of the bloodthirsty sunfang going a little pale at this.

    (continued)
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:22 No.16783036
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16782941
    >>16782941
    >>16782941
    >>16782941
    >>16782941

    Fucking this!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:23 No.16783041
         File1319963025.png-(790 KB, 900x636, 453463455.png)
    790 KB
    rolled 17 = 17

    >>16783029
    I... I don't like the direction our pure and righteous little blorp is heading down...
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:24 No.16783049
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16783041

    Yeah, we should have gone with that nat 40. OP you have erred in your judgement.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:25 No.16783052
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16783029
    Eat all the dead, animate King Kuraselache as a wraith.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:27 No.16783073
         File1319963229.png-(9 KB, 221x215, 1317335451161.png)
    9 KB
    >>16783029
    >Grimoireof Rape has been opened in a quest thread

    God fucking dammit. Welp it was fun guys. See you next year when a good and original quest thread pops up. This one has been tainted and will only devolve further.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)04:28 No.16783081
         File1319963297.jpg-(35 KB, 260x390, 1318035100506.jpg)
    35 KB
    >>16783049
    I know.

    That's why there's a 'continued' in my last post.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:29 No.16783097
    >>16783081
    >That pic
    That plus beard is how I now envision the elf king.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:32 No.16783117
    rolled 8 = 8

    >>16783029
    Hahahahaha...hahaha...ha...hahahaha
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:34 No.16783130
         File1319963654.jpg-(135 KB, 736x721, 1291478700942.jpg)
    135 KB
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16783117

    ha......ha..............
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:36 No.16783145
    rolled 20 = 20

    >>16783130
    I can't read past the repeatedly part without breaking out in the chuckles.

    It's almost as funny as tentacle rape.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:37 No.16783152
    rolled 22 = 22

    >>16783145

    Which, admittedly, isn't very funny.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:40 No.16783178
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16783152
    I agree, this was far funnier than tentacle rape.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)04:41 No.16783191
    >>16783029
    Fifty minutes later, once the swordsmen are all paste (you'll be surprised at how fast someone will run when they see their comrades being straight-up crushed)...

    >>16782926
    >40
    You move to the beaten corpse (?) of King Kuraselache, and you raise it from death.... whole. More or less whole. There's an awful lot of stuff missing, like half of the head and various organs, but you manage.

    And then you call back the King's soul. The shark writhes in agony, in shame for having lost to you, and in mortification for being forced to be your servant.

    >"MY... LORD..."

    He was a worthy opponent.

    >GLEEP.

    You curl one clawed paw into a fist and PULL. Instantly, the shark twitches, thrashes, and then its body erupts outward in a shower of... of SOMETHING. King Kuraselache shrieks in pain and doubles over, reaching one fin out for his cooling heart...

    You squeeze your paw again, and it implodes, crumpling into a mass of squeezed meat. And then you command the shark further, feeling its pride being stripped away as you force its voice.

    >"I HAVE LOST! I... I HAVE-"

    Its eyes are already gone, so you calmly waddle over and tear its clean fins off; you make its body contort at your feet, the shark's soul screaming all the while.

    >"NO! NOOO! YOU CAN'T- MY LORD!! AM I NOT WORTHY? AM I NOT-"

    And then... you proceed to disassemble it in meaty chunks, bit by bit, synchronizing it with what you do the shark's soul. Agonizing minutes pass, as King Kuraselache is rendered into his component parts, and he shrieks all the while... and soon enough, there is nothing left, but the lingering echos of his voice being carried away by the wind.

    This is the fate of those who stand up to the Sunfang, and the surviving sunfolk, the former woodfolk servants, the forgeslug, and even those few fleeing survivors, now know it.

    >COMMAND?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:43 No.16783203
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16783191
    Take a royal nap.


    We've had a long day.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:44 No.16783210
    rolled 22 = 22

    That was satisfying OP, thank you.

    ANYWAY.

    How's that crystal scowering coming along?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:45 No.16783213
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16783191

    Take stock of the remaining warriors. Gather all of the dead, the lizardmen shall be set on fire in a funeral pyre(or a big ditch if that's all we can do) and the woodfolk shall be eaten.

    We should also look for more crystals. We should personally search the body of the defeated king. Maybe he had something of interest on his person at the time of his demise.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:45 No.16783219
    rolled 31 = 31

    >>16783191
    Go through the meat for crystals. Don't forget to check the crater. Eat them. Immediately. Also for artifacts.

    If we find one, I don't care what body mods we get as long as one is regeneration and the unnatural power is a form of interpretive dance that lets us project an emotion to anyone who sees it - from fear to lust to berserker rage, with the ability to choose who is affected (or maybe at later upgrades).
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:45 No.16783222
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16783191
    Blorp at the survivors.
    Offer mercy at those that have dropped their weapons in fear.
    Murderify those who still want to fight.
    Heal the wounded, repair whatever is broken, AND EVOLVE A CAPE AND GLASSES.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:46 No.16783223
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16783191
    Search for crystals. Eat woodfolk.
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)04:46 No.16783227
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16783222
    >Trips and a 40.
    We'd better get a cape and glasses.
    >> NSRLA !O1GBzZ3EBo 10/30/11(Sun)04:46 No.16783229
    >>16783222
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:47 No.16783232
    rolled 23 = 23

    >>16783219

    I agree with the regeneration powers. Those are needed badly. the interpretive dancing shit, however, is just plain pants-on-head retarded.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:47 No.16783237
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16783222
    >nat 40
    >trips

    Well well well...what do we have here.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)04:47 No.16783240
    rolled 33 = 33

    >>16783222
    >>16783219
    Both of these
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)05:03 No.16783337
    >>16783222
    >>16783219
    >SURVIVORS
    You feel cold and a little bit empty, thanks to this reminder of your mortality and the fulfillment of your vengeance. You lie listlessly against Bearex's teeth, ignoring his concerned rumbles.

    But... first order of business is to go check up on the survivors.

    >... blorp?

    "... my Lord." Aazz kneels down; even this jovial warrior seems shaken by what he has seen. "We've only lost about seven of our warriors, and we have eighteen down due to wounds," he reports. He still manages to glow with knowledge of their victory. "Not fucking bad, eh? Damn straight."

    You spend a number of minutes making your rounds around the base of the meteor, checking in on the injured and offering your blorps. Most of them kneel, and many of them still refer to you as their god...

    You'll have to deal with that at some point. But not now.

    >SURRENDERED/FIGHTING WOODFOLK
    ALL of them had fled when you kneed the swordsmen. Repeatedly.

    You're still not sure why you did that, but you... figure that you'd rather not do it again. You don't even want to think about what it'll do to your reputation.

    Besides, you'd rather want people to surrender to you than fight to the death the moment anyone mentions the word 'femur.'

    >HEALING
    Between your biomancy and your life... sprays, you do the best you can for the wounded. You manage to get through all of the shallower injuries and work your way through half of the worse ones before your own webs give out.

    ... that's the first time that's happened. It probably has something to do with the fact that you're half-broken yourself.

    Propping up the meteor's going to have to wait until later.

    >CRYSTALS
    Your scroungers come up empty-handed... except for one, who thought to look where King Serac, when he was still a woodfolk, shattered that tree to bits.

    You now have one blue crystal... but in a rare show of... of something, you hold off on eating it, at least for now.
    (continued0
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)05:08 No.16783377
    rolled 1 = 1

    >>16783337
    Eat: Dead
    Evolve: Regeneration
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)05:09 No.16783379
    >>16783222
    >CAPE AND GLASSES
    You begin thinking about all that you've been through, and all that you've seen...

    When you first evolved, you thought you were unique... at least until you encountered other crystal-favored. When you defeated King Tyrant, you truly started believing that you were a god; this was only supported by your ability to abso-fucking-lutely run over anything you fought, up to and including meteors.

    Now... now, you're not so sure. The Sunfangs believe that you're a god, but you no longer do. You felt a higher power at work this day, and you're going to be hard-pressed to believe in anyone ELSE who calls themselves a god.

    If you can't believe that you're a god... then what CAN you believe in?
    (continued)
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)05:12 No.16783399
         File1319965938.jpg-(146 KB, 600x250, kamina.jpg)
    146 KB
    >>16783379
    You ponder this for a moment, and then for a few moments, and then before you know it, you've been sitting in the same spot for a few MINUTES... and then it comes to you.

    You could believe in the sunfangs who believe in you, and who revere you as a god, but... that's not quite right anymore. What you WILL do is simple.

    You will believe in the sunfangs, who believe in you...

    Who believes in yourself.

    >THREAD END... TO BE CONTINUED.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)05:12 No.16783400
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16783337
    >>16783379

    I had a dream, my friends. I had a dream. A beautiful voice told me to rise from my slumber and to that it was my time to become the king of the earth. This is what our destiny is. To become the King of this Earth, to rule in the name of the Outer Gods who rule from the celestial throne.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)05:14 No.16783407
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>16783399

    Fuck yeah, OP, I had a blast. EVO quest really is the greatest thing on /tg/ now. What is that bonus that we get from the end of the thread that you stated earlier?
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)05:16 No.16783419
    And this is what happens when I'm up writing until 5 am.

    I'm not going to be able to make it tomorrow, but I should be able to get back Monday night at 8 pm EST; if not, I'll be back Tuesday.

    Thanks for following the quest, guys; sorry if anyone got offended by the thought of a giant dinosaur knee crushing someone's nether regions into paste, and/or what it may have entailed.


    -- oh, and as for that bonus, I'm going to do a voting thing-choice like I did at the beginning of V because christ it's quarter after 5 am.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)05:17 No.16783429
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16783399

    Glorious. I actually felt kinda bad about rendering the Kings soul to bits. Especially after he yielded. Hopefully we are not quite so brutal in the future, unless it is necessary.

    All in all, this thread was one hell of a roller coaster ride.

    Anyway, Drawfag reporting back in. Did you want a WIP shot of the lastest evolution, or do you want it to be a glorious surprise next thread?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)05:17 No.16783431
    rolled 4 = 4

    this thread was Awesome op when is the next and do we get that bonus
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)05:20 No.16783451
         File1319966426.jpg-(218 KB, 858x482, Y9SYd.jpg)
    218 KB
    >>16783429
    ... fffff-

    Leave it until the next thread; we could definitely use the pick-me-up in the form of a GLORIOUS SURPRISE.

    I give unto you all my brofists because holy shit, man, those pictures.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)05:24 No.16783474
    rolled 33 = 33

    Also thanks Drawfag you do great work to.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)06:04 No.16783683
    This... this is the best fucking quest I've ever seen on /tg/. Today, for the first time ever, OP is not a fag; OP is a bro. A bro of the highest brosition.



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