Shit yes.

B-but I have biwa practice tomorrow! And then I have to meet my Very Important Spouse (who is a Champion, if you must know).

>>16977522
Shut your yap Nanao, people who are actually adults are talking

>>16977534
You...you...I'm telling!

>>16977522

DOESN'T MATTER. I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE MARRIED TO IWEKO-SAMA HERSELF, YOU'RE GOING TO SIT HERE WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND LISTEN.

BEFORE I BEGIN, THIS ISN'T A SCREED AGAINST THE CRANE. I DON'T FUCKING LIKE THEM ONE LITTLE BIT, BUT THE FACT THAT THE ANTAGONIST IS A CRANE HERE SHOULDN'T MAKE YOU THINK ALL CRANES ARE THIS FOOLISH. NO, THIS IS A STORY ABOUT LITERATURE, BATTLE, AND CUNNING, AND WHY YOU SHOULD READ EVERY TEXT ON THE SUBJECT OF BUSHIDO YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON.

ONCE UPON A TIME, DURING THE SECOND YASUKI WAR, A LION COMMANDER MET A CRANE UPON THE BATTLEFIELD. UNFORTUNATELY, CIRCUMSTANCES HAD FORCED HER INTO THAT UNLOVABLE SITUATION WHERE BOTH ARMIES HAD TIME TO ENCAMP, WHICH MEANS ENVOYS, WHICH MEANS CHALLENGE AND NEGOTIATION. FORTUNATELY FOR HER, SHE WAS AN IKOMA, WITH LITTLE REPUTATION AS A SWORDSWOMAN.

Oh SHOUTING MATSU-sensei, it's been a long time since we had one of these threads.

INCIDENTALLY, WHY WERE WE INVOLVED IN THE SECOND YASUKI WAR? MERCENARY WORK. IT'S NOT ALWAYS FUN, BUT THERE HAVE BEEN WARS WITH LIONS ON BOTH SIDES BEFORE.

THE CRANE GENERAL WAS, AS MOST EVERY CRANE IS, A GREAT ADMIRER OF KAKITA...BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING CRANE LOVE, IT'S TALENTED BRATS WITH THEIR NOSES CLIPPED TO THE CLOUDS. SO HE DID EVERYTHING SHORT OF SENDING HIS MEN IN A SINGLE COLUMN WITH THEIR KATANAS SHEATHED AND SIGNED REQUESTS FOR A DUEL IN THEIR HANDS. HE HIMSELF WAS KNOWN FOR HIS TALENT AT IAI, AND WHILE THEY WERE ENCAMPED HE INVITED HIS OPPONENT TO SPEAK WITH HIM UNDER A FLAG OF TRUCE.

"IKOMA-SAN." HE SAID, FEIGNING CONCERN, "OUR ARMIES ARE FULL OF HATRED FOR EACH OTHER, AND THIS IS TRULY NOT YOUR BATTLE, FOR YOU ARE NO LOATHESOME AND BUFFOONISH CRAB. WILL YOU NOT CONSENT TO END THIS AS HONORABLE SAMURAI SHOULD?"

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

"INDEED." SHE REPLIED, SIPPING HER TEA, "I WILL CONSIDER YOUR WORDS, PLEASE SPEAK OPENLY."

"THEN CONSIDER THIS, OUR ARMIES ARE OF EQUAL SIZE, WILL YOU NOT CONSENT TO CONSIDER SOLVING THIS WITH A DUEL?"

SHE FANNED HERSELF WITH HER TESSEN, AND WAITED, UNTIL HE FELT PRESSED TO EXPLAIN AND CONVINCE HER, BECAUSE IF THERE IS ONE THING CRANE LOVE, IT IS THE SOUND OF THEIR OWN VOICES. HE SPOKE AT LENGTH, QUOTING FROM 'THE SWORD', OF THE PURITY OF IAIJUTSU AND ITS PLACE IN OUR SOCIETY, OF THE EFFICIENCY OF THE SINGLE CUT AND THE ELEGANCE IMPLICIT IN SINGLE COMBAT. HE SPOKE OF "ONE MAN, ONE SWORD, ONE STRIKE." AND HE USED HER REPUTATION AS A MOTHER TO HER SOLDIERS AGAINST HER, ASKING IF SHE TRULY WISHED TO THROW THEIR LIVES AWAY. HE SPOKE, TOO, OF HONOR. "'STRENGTHEN THE SPIRIT AS WELL AS THE BODY, AND THE DEPTHS OF THE SOUL WILL BECOME AS THE STEEL OF THE BLADE.'" HE SAID, "WHY NOT SHOW ME IF THE SPIRIT OF THE LION CLAN MATCHES THE STRENGTH OF YOUR MEN?"

SHE NONCOMMITTALLY AGREED WITH EVERYTHING HE SAID, LETTING HIM BUILD HIS OWN MOMENTUM. GROWING MORE CERTAIN, AND A BIT MORE POMPOUS, HE AGAIN QUOTED KAKITA, "'FEAR CAN KILL THE UNCERTAIN MIND AS SWIFTLY AS THE SWORD CAN CUT THE UNCERTAIN FOE.' NOBLE IKOMA-SAN, SURELY YOU ARE NEITHER AFRAID, NOR UNCERTAIN, IF TRULY YOUR CLAN IS BRAVE, THEN YOU WILL ACCEPT MY REQUEST, AND SEND A CHAMPION TO FACE ME."

AT LAST, SHE SPOKE UP, "AH~" SHE FLUTTERED, "FORGIVE A SIMPLE GIRL BORN AND RAISED FAR FROM THE CULTURE OF KYUDEN DOJI, OR SHIRO SANO KAKITA, BUT...DOES KAKITA NOT ALSO SAY 'THE SECRET OF SWORDPLAY IS NOT THE SWIFT DEFEAT, NOT THE PROLONGED STRIKE AND BLOCK. A PURE STROKE WILL DEFEAT ANY TECHNIQUE?'"

THE CRANE ACKNOWLEDGED THAT THIS WAS SO, SENSING HER ACCEPTANCE BUT UNSURE WHERE SHE WAS LEADING HIM.

"MY DEADLIEST WARRIOR IS A SPECIALIST IN A WEAPON THAT IS NOT THE KATANA. AS YOU YOURSELF HAVE SAID, FEAR KILLS THE UNCERTAIN MIND, AND IT IS CLEAR YOU HAVE GREAT FAITH IN KAKITA'S WORDS...WILL YOU ACCEPT HIM AS AN OPPONENT IF HE USES HIS FAVORED WEAPON? SURELY AN OPPONENT OF KAKITA'S METHOD HAS NOTHING TO FEAR FROM WEAPONS BEYOND BLADES? KAKITA DID SAY 'ANY TECHNIQUE', DID HE NOT?" SHE FLUTTERED HER EYELASHES AGAIN, HIDING HER MOUTH PROPERLY BEHIN HER TESSEN.

THE CRANE THOUGHT HE SAW THROUGH HER TRICK, BUT SHE HAD A POINT, HE COULD NOT BACK DOWN WITHOUT SEEMING A COWARD, AND TO GIVE AN IKOMA AN EXCUSE TO TELL STORIES ABOUT YOU IS LIKE TAKING A SCORPION GIRL TO YOUR OFFICE...YOU'LL WAKE UP TO FIND A PROPER MESS AND PROBABLY HAVE TO GUT YOURSELF OVER IT. STILL, HIS BLADE HAD TASTED THE BLOOD OF MANY CRAB WHO FAVORED THE HEAVY TETSUBO, OR THE LONG NAGINATA, AND HE DECIDED THAT HER EFFORTS TO THROW HIM OFF HIS GUARD WOULD FAIL HERE AND NOW. DRAWING A CONFIDENT SMILE ON HIS FACE, HE ASSURED THE PROVINCIAL MAIDEN THAT HE WAS UP TO THE CHALLENGE. THE PAIR AGREED TO A DUEL AT DAWN, ALONG A ROADWAY THAT MEANDERED PERPENDICULAR TO THEIR BATTLE-LINES.

>>16977534
>>16977538

BOTH OF YOU HUSH, I CAN'T ABIDE BULLIES NOR TALE-RUNNERS.

>>16977705
Oh great SHOUTING MATSU-sensei, will the noble Ikoma-san's champion be an archer?

bump

>>16977727

YOU'RE CLOSE, BUT NO.

THE NEXT DAY, THE NOBLE CRANE AND A RETINUE OF HIS SECONDS, FRIENDS, AND LIEUTENANTS ARRIVED BEFORE THE SUN HAD YET RISEN, AND CONSEQUENTLY WERE FORCED TO WAIT NEARLY AN HOUR, GROWING MORE AND MORE IMPATIENT, UNTIL AT LAST A GREAT, CREAKING WAGON COVERED IN CANVAS AND PULLED BY TWO STOUT OXEN ARRIVED. THE IKOMA COMMANDER AND TWO WARRIORS, BOTH HUGE AND STRONG, RODE IN THE FRONT, ALONG WITH THE UGLY LITTLE DRIVER. SEEING THE WARRIORS BORE NAGINATA, THE CRANE WAS ASSURED, AND STEPPED FORWARD BOLDLY. "IKOMA-SAN." HE SAID MOCKINGLY, HIS FORMER COURTESY DISSIPATING NOW THAT HE WAS ASSURED VICTORY, "WE HAD ALMOST THOUGHT YOU FLED THE FIELD. WHICH OF THESE TWO WILL FACE ME?"

"TWO, OH KAKITA-SAN?" SHE LOOKED PUZZLED, AS SHE AND HER WARRIORS CLIMBED DOWN FROM THE WAGON, "OH, THESE MEN ARE MY SONS AND BODYGUARDS. I BROUGHT THEM ALONG AS WITNESSES. HE WILL BE YOUR OPPONENT." SHE GESTURED AT THE LITTLE MAN NOW STANDING ON THE BOARD OF THE WAGON, AS HER SONS UNHITCHED THE OXEN AND LET THEM REST A MOMENT. THE SMALL MAN GRINNED, SHOWING MISSING AND DECAYED TEETH IN HIS WRINKLED FACE, A NOTCHED PARANGU AT HIS SIDE.

THE CRANE SCOWLED AT THE INSULT, "A TRAVESTY, YET YOUR WORDS WILL BIND YOU, AND I HAVE WITNESSES IN CASE YOU RENEGE ON THIS, TO ENSURE DISHONOR WILL BLIGHT YOUR FAMILY IF YOU TRY TO AMBUSH ME." HE WAVED AT THE RETINUE, WHO HAD STOOD WELL BACK TO AVOID HIS EXPLOSIVE TEMPER, "I WILL CUT YOUR MAN DOWN AND END THIS."

THE LION 'DUELIST' STOOD STILL ON THE HEADBOARD, WHICH THE CRANE TOOK AS A SYMBOL THAT HE MEANT TO USE ELEVATION TO HIS ADVANTAGE, NOT AN UNCOMMON TACTIC. STILL, IT WAS ONE HE HAD BEEN TRAINED FOR, AND HE DID NOT EVEN ESPECIALLY CARE THAT THE LITTLE MAN'S PARANGU WAS ALREADY DRAWN...SUCH THINGS MEAN NOTHING IN TERMS OF THE SPEED A TRAINED KAKITA CAN QUICK-DRAW AT. AT THE SIGNAL, HE STRUCK!

...AND HIS OPPONENT DOVE BACKWARDS INTO THE WAGON, ABANDONING ANY ATTEMPT AT ATTACK, AND WITH A SINGLE CUT SLASHED THROUGH THE CANVAS AND THE ROPES BENEATH. THE BOLT OF THE BALLISTA TORE THROUGH THE KAKITA'S CHEST LIKE AN ARROW PIERCING AN OVERRIPE ORANGE, AND PINNED HIM TO THE HILLSIDE.

"AH..." SAID THE IKOMA, EMBARASSMENT FOR HER RIVAL SHOWING ON HER FEATURES, "ALAS, KAKITA'S WORDS SEEM TO HAVE PREDATED THE SIEGE TECHNOLOGY OF THE KAIU. WHAT A PITY, BUT WITNESSES WERE PRESENT TO CONFIRM THAT YOU DID SPECIFY YOUR KATANA COULD DEFEAT ANY TECHNIQUE."

TELL ME, WHAT LESSON DO WE LEARN FROM THIS?

>>16977803
Cranes are faggets?

Every weapon is viable in war and humiliating Crane samurai?

>>16977803

Never trust a whore!

>>16977803
That it's hard to sleep when someone is yelling at you?

Don't bring a sword to a ballista fight?

>>16977803
THE USE OF SIEGE WEAPONRY IN PERSONAL DUELS IS PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE, SIR.

two birds in the hand is worth more than one in the chest?

>>16977803
Trickery defeats all else?
And the rules of Bushido do not apply to anyone but yourself, therefore you should never attempt to break Bushido yourself... but rather have somebody else do it for you?

I LOVE YOU, SHOUTING MATSU

>>16977803
SIR! Always examine the area of a duel for treachery!

Also let your sword do the talking, not your mouth!

He who does not keep up with todays innovations is soon to be yesterdays news?

>>16977803
Always bring witnesses to back up your story of how that all came about?

>>16977787
I believe the words of the engineer fit here very well, sir.
What's stopping some big mean old mother hubbard from ripping you a structurally superfluous new behind? The answer, use a gun.
If that don't work, use more gun.

>>16977810
>>16977816
>>16977820
>>16977822

MOST OF THOSE ARE VIABLE, EXCEPT YOU IN THE BACK TRYING TO SLEEP. THE LESSON IS, NEVER LET YOURSELF BE TRAPPED BY BOASTING, AND CAREFULLY CONSIDER HOW QUOTING FAMOUS TEXTS CAN BE USED AGAINST YOU. ALSO, EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE AUTHOR, READ 'THE SWORD', READ 'NITEN', READ EVERY STRATEGY AND SWORDSMANSHIP TEXT YOU CAN, BUT DO NOT BE TIED TO THEM. I KNOW YOU'VE ALL READ 'LEADERSHIP', OR AT LEAST PRETENDED TO, BE AWARE THAT THINGS DO CHANGE AND THAT UNDERSTANDING THE SPIRIT AND ETERNAL LESSONS OF THE WORDS MATTER MORE THAN THE EXACT TEXT.

>>16977803
Shouting Matsu, I have a question!

Did the clever Ikoma's army win the battle afterwards or was the entire trick a complete waste of time?

>Implying the Crane clan army just went home

>>16977882
Does this mean we can duel with ballista's, Shouting Matsu?

WELL DONE RECRUITS, MOST OF YOU SEEM TO GET IT. KATSUKO-KUN, GOOD WORK ON VIEWING THE SITUATION FROM THE OPPOSITE PERSPECTIVE. >>16977851 GOOD WORK ON SUMMARIZING IT POETICALLY.

>>16977909

Of course the Crane just went home. When you make Crane eat their own words, they fold faster than Superman on laundry day.

>>16977909

ONE, THE CRANE HAD JUST LOST THEIR COMMANDER, WHILE THE LION HAD THEIRS. TWO, THE CRANE COMMANDER HIMSELF HAD SUGGESTED STAKING THE OUTCOME ON A DUEL. IF THE CRANE HAD ATTACKED, EVERYONE ELSE WOULD HAVE FREE REIGN TO DO THE SAME WHEN THE CRANE PULL THEIR USUAL BULLSHIT. THEY WITHDREW, BUT DIDN'T GO HOME.

>>16977912

UNLESS YOUR OPPONENT GIVES YOU AN OPENING LIKE THAT, OR YOUR OPPONENT IS A KAIU (IN WHICH CASE THEY'D PROBABLY AGREE), NO. ALMOST ALL DUELS USE SWORDS.

>>16977945
In that case... what if we conveniently have our rival hit by a ballista bolt which just so happens to be fired at the EXACT moment they draw their katana to duel us.

Or is that a bad idea?

I can only wonder what would have happened had the ballista missed...

>>16977945
goodnight shouting Matsu.

>>16977962

YOU NOTICE THE SPECIALIST DROVE THE CART? HE'D AIMED IT DIRECTLY AT HIS OPPONENT, AND HE WAS A LEGITIMATE SPECIALIST IN USING THE BALLISTA. THE BOLT WAS PROBABLY ONE OF THOSE BIG, BROADHEADED ONES THE CRAB USE TO SHEER THROUGH RANKS OF OGRES, TOO.

I think we should discuss the viability of ballista in single combat.

I for one believe they are a perfectly fine way to eliminate the opponent. It is not subtle, true, but very few weapons of war are.

>>16977503

Sensei! A man-hating Utaku maiden asked me what the ramifications were if her family arranged a marriage for her.

I thought for a moment and replied, "YOU CAN STILL LOVE WOMEN, BUT IF YOUR DAIMYO ORDERS YOU TO SPREAD YOUR LEGS, YOU BETTER SPREAD THEM OR EXPECT YOUR NEXT ASSIGNMENT TO BE RIDING OFF A CLIFF BY YOURSELF."

>>16977988

IT'S EASIER FOR A WOMAN IN THIS REGARD, BUT REGARDLESS OF PREFERENCE YOU HAVE A DUTY TO HAVE CHILDREN. NOBODY SAID YOU HAVE TO LIKE YOUR SPOUSE. THE REASON I'M UNMARRIED HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WANTING, AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH PRACTICALITY...KEEPING ME IN MY FAMILY'S HOUSEHOLD RATHER THAN HAVING ME GO TO MY WIFE'S ENSURES THAT MY TALENTS STAY WITH MY FAMILY.

YOUR RESPONSE WAS A GOOD ONE, SOMETIMES IT TAKES A GOOD THONK TO HAMMER A POINT THROUGH A UNICORN SKULL.

>>16977985

I believe it is a drastic waste of resources and energy to train a ballista on a single man. With ammunition as large and powerful as what a ballista can put out, it is better suited for massed groups, where it can end several men's lives within one strike.

>>16978047
Depends on size of ballista and ammunition.

>>16977988

Yeah, I'm never going to understand that either. We have the wall, but the Unicorn are a martial Clan themselves, they should see the value in having more children and, thus, more soldiers.

>>16978047

Hah! You've never been to the Wall! We have monsters there that won't feel anything SMALLER than a ballista bolt! You know how thick the skin on some of those big oni is? It's like peeling turf. Callouses as thick as your palm's breadth on them. You can't just pick the ones with no obvious armor or carapace, because the fleshy ones can be just as hard to skewer.

Lord Matsu, Do you have any stories about Shugenja? My daughter won't stop talking about the one who graced our village several days back, and I wish to tell her a tale.

>>16978062
>>16978047
>>16977985

DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION. IN THIS CASE, IT WAS MERITED. USUALLY IT ISN'T, AND THE IKOMA HAVE A PERVERSE SENSE OF HUMOR.

INCIDENTALLY, A QUICK NOTE ON DUELING...IF YOU MUST DUEL A CRANE, DUEL HIM TO THE DEATH, AND FOCUS ON SURVIVING THAT FIRST BLOW. DUELISTS COUNT ON THAT FIRST STRIKE KILLING OR INCAPACITATING YOU, AFTER THAT IT'S A REGULAR OLD SWORDFIGHT. SURVIVE THE FIRST STROKE, THEN KILL THEM. IT WORKS FOR HIDA BERSERKERS, IT WILL WORK FOR YOU TOO.

>>16978103

ONE TIME, MY STAFF SHUGENJA GOT SO DRUNK HE NEARLY DROWNED IN A BARREL OF SAKE. GOOD TIMES.

>>16978121

Don't know how my daughter will respond to that. She keeps saying she wants to be a shugenja and talk to kami. She's ruined a tatami mat by slapping a huge rock down in the house and staring at it, trying to make it talk.

Holy shit, Shouting Matsu?! Yes!

>>16978098

NOTE HOW I SPECIFICALLY STATE "MAN" IN MY ARGUMENT!

WARFARE AND MONSTER HUNTING ARE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FIELDS. IF YOU ORIGINALLY MEANT MONSTER HUNTING YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID SO!

>>16978138

GET A SHUGENJA IN TO TEST HER FOR TALENT, THEN, WE CAN ALWAYS USE MORE OF THEM. REALLY, I DON'T HAVE MANY STORIES ABOUT SHUGENJA. IF YOU WANT TO ENCOURAGE HER, TELL HER ABOUT THE ORIGINS OF THE KAIU WALL. IF YOU WANT HER TO UNDERSTAND HOW EASY IT IS FOR POWER TO MAKE YOU DO THINGS YOU REGRET, THE FOUNDING OF THE ASAHINA FAMILY HAS SOME GOOD LESSONS.

>>16978186

When DOESN'T that come up? Look, we have the best ballistae, I'm just telling you what they're used for. Don't come crying to me when you fail to set up rotary tracks for your siege equipment because you don't expect you'll need to aim.

Hey Shouting Matsu, what are your thoughts on the Lion's Pride?

What about the Beastmasters?

>>16978255

ELITE UNITS ARE ELITE UNITS, USE THEM IN SITUATIONS THAT BEFIT THEM. I'VE OBVIOUSLY NEVER COMMANDED THE LION'S PRIDE, AND FRANKLY I TRY TO AVOID USING BEASTMASTERS. ANIMALS CAN BE A VALUABLE SHOCK WEAPON, ESPECIALLY AGAINST CAVALRY...UNICORN POSSIBLY BEING THE EXCEPTION, THEIR MOUNTS TEND TO BE EXTREMELY WELL-TRAINED...BUT THERE ARE OTHER METHODS I RELY ON FIRST. YOUR STRATEGY IS NOT MY STRATEGY, HOWEVER, IF YOU SEE MERIT IN USING THE BEASTMASTERS, USE THE BEASTMASTERS.

>>16978044

You should have seen the look on said Utaku maiden's face when she took heed of my words, sensei. But then she noted that I was one to talk, after all, I was just a 'roided-out lesbian like all of my kindred!

It sounded like an invitation to a duel. It also sounded like proposition...

In any case, I replied thus, "PERHAPS YOU ARE SIMPLY FRUSTRATED AND JEALOUS, FOR THE FERTILE WOMBS OF MATSU WOMEN EXIST TO PUMP OUT MORE VIRTUOUS WARRIORS FOR THE EMPIRE. AS MY SENSEI ONCE SAID, A MATSU WOMAN WILL PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF ALL OF HER HUSBAND'S ENEMIES AND THEN HAVE A DOZEN BABIES WITH HIM. BABIES WHO WILL ALSO PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF HER HUSBAND'S ENEMIES."

>>16978298
That seems like a very odd thing to say.
But then again I am an honorless Mantis, so why cares? I just do my job as an archer, and not give a single fuck about what others think of me.

>>16978298
That's... an interesting way to put it, Torahime-san.

Always good to know the Matsu legions are always eager to fight for the clan.

[nospoilersontg]alsoifoundthatstrangelyarousing[/nospoilersontg]

>>16978298

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ROIDED-OUT MEANS BUT I HOPE IT MEANS YOU'RE PLANNING TO SETTLE DOWN WITH SOME NICE HUSBAND AND HAVE BABIES WITH HIM BETWEEN CAMPAIGNS. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, SOLDIER!

YOU YOUNGLINGS KEEP TALKING OR PLAYING GO OR WHATEVER YOU DO TO ENTERTAIN YOURSELVES, I NEED A DRINK.

>>16978298

...ever spar a man who can lift a baggage horse before? I'm guessing you have. Want to do it again?

Oh hey guys, what's going on in this thread?

SHOUTING-MATSU-SENSEI, SHOUTING-MATSU-SENSEI.

WHY IS THIS THREAD UNARCHIVED?

>>16978481
Because you touch yourself at night.
We can all hear that by the way.

>>16978478

Listening to sensei's war stories. If we had a Crane here to hear them I'd probably cry laughing. No offense to the Crane.

>>16978394

Is that how the Lion Clan fights, Souzen-san?

>>16978493
A TRUE SAMURAI KNOWS EACH AND EVERY PART OF HIS BODY AS INTIMATELY AS POSSIBLE. IT IS THE VESSEL THAT CARRIES HIM INTO BATTLE. TO HAVE A LACK OF KNOWLEDGE OF ONE OR MORE AREAS COULD SPELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DEFEAT AND VICTORY.

>>16978394

Strangely arousing? Akodo-san, that is truly an interesting way to describe that strategy.

>>16978458

Thank you, sensei!

>>16978465

Of course, Hida-san.

>>16978505
Yeah, I don't think you'll win any battles with that.

>>16978502
I'm listening, I'm listening. It is an interesting story, though the loss of a general due to his own arrogance is saddening.

>>16978519

If the day ever comes where I'm afraid to hone my skills with a beautiful woman, I'll be on my pyre or moldering in the Shadowlands. Bokken or shinai?

I have a question. Of all the families known to produce berserkers, which is to say, the Matsu, the Hida, and the Moto, which group produces the best berserkers, in the opinions of those more well-versed in strategy and military than I?

>>16978566

Erk, my apologies, I didn't see you there. Men die, though, at least he died doing what he loved.

>>16978534
Battles of the bedroom are still battles.

You try having a matsu bride and see how it works out for you.

>>16978581

Define "best". Berserkers do different things. Hida go nuts and become incredibly hard to hurt, Matsu tear your shit in half, Moto tear your shit in half differently.

>>16978534
Depends on how you define battle, really. Just don't get involved with the Scorpion there.

>>16978478

Scorpion woman? OH SHIT RUN! MATSU-SENSEI WARNED US ABOUT THEM!

>>16978575

Beautiful? Surely you must be mistaken...this one is but a simple bushi, Hida-san. Nevertheless, the choice of weaponry is yours to make.

>>16978596
Only if they reach you. Berserkers are a poor answer to a problem that can be solved so many other ways. Take archers for instance, under-utilized in my (not so) professional opinion. I will admit, we do lack the... dramatics of the Matsu or the Hida, or even the Moto to a certain extent. But if you need to eat Crab, do you smash the poor things shell open with a hammer? No. You use a pot of water, a knife, and patience.

>>16978596

Let us go with 'cause the most damage possible to the enemy, as long as possible, while not dying for as long as possible'?

Or, perhaps, if one average example of each form of berserker were to meet on the battlefield, who would walk away alive?

Matsu-sensei!-

Shit, I missed him. No tales of scorpion wives and the comedy of cranes, fellows? I just got back from the Northern campaign and boy am I tired.

>>16978633

Nonsense, you have the beauty of a finely-honed sword, an instrument of purpose and intensity. Even if it is unadorned, the craftsmanship shows a refined aesthetic and a pleasing form. Your voice is made for battlefields, and the simplicity with which you carry yourself only emphasizes your grace, Matsu-san. I prefer bokken, myself, I've looked for a training ono since I got here, and haven't found one yet.

>>16978631
Hey, hey, there is no need for that. After all, how have I ever wronged you?

>>16978667
>>16978586
W-well, I'm sorry, Hida-san. I just happened to be in the area...and one c-can certainly learn from those one disagrees with, right?

By the way, as for Matsu-san... I-I hope you know what you're getting in to.

>>16978698
You're a Scorpion. It isn't a matter of have you wronged us. Rather, it is a matter of how long we have to wait until you wrong us.

>>16978711

Hey, ease up there. You're acting like an animal, and last I checked this venture was open to all. If she does something wrong, I'll spot it. Until then, she's one of us, understood?

>>16978711
That's an unnecessary and hurtful generalization.
Not every crab is a 6 foot-tall, bald-headed simple-minded club-swinger, though you wouldn't know it from how the crane speak of them. In the same vein, just because we're usually the villains in theater doesn't mean that every scorpion is always out to sting you.

>8711
Not to attack Matsu-sensei's lessons, but remember that also a faithful scorpion wife is "like a knife finely hidden."

I ask, hidden from whom?
But, then you would assume me to be naive. I remember many strange nights I shared with a scorpion woman. I i admit I did not sleep with her.

.. Purely out of pride of course! She was draped all over my form as I spoke elegantly in-
Okay, my charade cannot last. "It is harder to pluck the flower of love than to fight many wars."

>>16978721
Oh, aren't you the perfect gentleman. Typical of the Phoenix to be so level-headed.

>>16978667

Your compliments do me honor, Hida-san. Thank you. I see you prefer the bokken to the shinai, therefore we shall spar with bokken.

>>16978704

Asahina-san! Long has it been since I last saw you. Would you like to spar with Hida-san and myself?

>>16978721
I suggest you move aside, the real bushi are talking.

>>16978727
Except the description of the Scorpion, ESPECIALLY SCORPION WOMEN as being out to sting us is a perfectly reasonable one. Given how much your clan as a whole lacks honor, and repeatedly fails to adhere to the basic tenets of Bushido... well, the facts speak for themselves.

>>16978740
You speak with all the sophistication of an Ogre. This is of course an insult to the Ogre, where a rare few have been quite dignified. Not that I would know, but I have read it somewhere.

>>16978756
Like a child throwing stones,
Your vile insults
Could not hit a winter tree.

>>16978750

You flatter me sorely, I'm just a simple scholar of the military arts. Would you like a rice ball? I had an extra.

(since we're all freeforming and such now, anyone mind if I set up an IRC room? #samuraicamp on irc.rizon.net, come in if you want, you can use mibbit or a dual-client or something if you're being silly and using two names)

HEY GUYS! What's going on over here?

Elegance does not befit a warrior, even one so lackluster as I.

Needles poorly pointed only sting when laughed at, disregard the ogre, let him feed himself on the ass of his fellows.

>>16978751

I prefer its weight, and the shape matches that of a real blade better.

An Asahina sparring? This I want to see.

>>16978756
>I suggest you move aside, the real bushi are talking.

Really? I thought we were moving because they were about to spar, although I commend your humility in suggesting you are not a true warrior yet. I suppose, in a way, none of us are really true bushi. Can we ever, in fact, BE true bushi? Does history decide that, or the fortunes? You're a very philosophical man, I like you!

Just married into the Bayushi family. I'm not sure if my wife keeps talking about wanting to poison me or engage in a illicit affair with a geisha with me.

Is this normal?

>>16978790
>An Asahina sparring? This I want to see.

The rare handful of their family that feel the urge to take up arms are welcomed into Daidoji dojos with open arms.

>>16978777
I'd love one sir, thank you.
And congratulations on trips.

>>16978810
Haha, you're a funny one. I assure you, your wife will not do neither of those. You are a scorpion now, and we're all about duty, and duty to your family is one of the most important kinds, brother.

>8810
... No?

If only a cloth to hide my face from such shameful thoughts...

Whyboner.jpg

>>16978756
>You speak with all the sophistication of an Ogre. This is of course an insult to the Ogre, where a rare few have been quite dignified. Not that I would know, but I have read it somewhere.

The only good ogre is a dead ogre. I'm just saying, try losing a few siblings to ogres.

>>16978810
Yes, I have frequently had women try to poison me. That may or may not be because of what I said while drinking sake. My fellow Bushi tend to not speak of it much. Not sure why.

>>16978775
Oh look, more Scorpion talk. A bunch of meaningless words with no meaning behind them. How much like a clan who never fails to backstab whenever it can.

>>16978830

Lucky 7s, the Void favors Shiba. You're welcome, it just seemed like you could use a friend here.

>8839
It sounds like a personal problem to me.

>>16978839
>A bunch of meaningless words with no meaning behind them.
I am done speaking to you, especially since you are too cowardly to so much as tell us your clan or your name.
However, I find great mirth in your ability to stumble over simple sentences.

>8863
Achk-ahk-cough-intercoursewithyou-achk-ohuk.

Oh, I must be coming down with something. Pass the sake, I must fight illness with stronger illness.

>>16978830
Will she poison my sister's husband for me? He's kind of a dickweed.

>>16978865
Friend, you do know you can click the post number of a post and automatically generate a link, correct?

>>16978868
>However, I find great mirth in your ability to stumble over simple sentences.

Stop. Crowing over besting a Crab at wordplay is like boasting about how you defeated a child at Go.

>>16978887
I think we've spoken of poison enough in this conversation. I honestly expected better of a man chosen to join the scorpion. We do not go around poisoning people. Anyone who tells you we do is simply throwing around disgusting slander.

>>16978897
I've played Go against some pretty crafty little bastards.

>8890
Not working properly, of all things -after- the fixes.

Also, cell phone posting.

>>16978911
I've been poisoned by a Scorpion. I don't think it was on purpose, after all I'm still alive, but it happened.

>>16978890

Shhh, he's from a vassal family, it isn't his fault. I hope he gets over his affliction soon, though, the poor man. A cough like that must hurt.

>>16978868
Bah. I do not tell you my name or clan because I feel it is unnecessary. A Bushi should not look for recognition or renown, for fortune or favor from his peers from around the Jade Empire. Rather he should focus on himself, and perfecting what he knows, and learning what he does not. I do not waste my time with words that have no meaning, unlike the wretch of a Scorpion before me.

>>16978897
Your assumption that I am a Crab is amusing. However my clan and family hail from around the sea. Improvisation, determination, we have them in such abundance, I think there are less leaves on trees.

Are there any more stories, Masu-sensai?

>>16978897
Many apologies, I was not aware he was a Crab, since he did not display his clan name for us.

>>16978916
Ah, even more apologies are in order.
What did you expect from Gaijin though? Their "technology" breaks more than it tries to fix.

>>16978930
I see your words are Noble,
But like vivid grass
They hide only dirt beneath.

>>16978911
Can you destroy his reputation in court, then? CAN YOU GUYS AT LEAST DO THAT?

>>16978956
It is very sad then that you do not see, about how important that dirt can be. Focus for a moment on our own Jade Empire. If there were no grass, it would simply crumble and expire. Much like a great painting, nothing can be judged from what is first seen. You see my witty wordplay does not require such double-meanings.

>>16978987
They are Scorpion. They can do whatever they like and feel no remorse for their actions.

>>16978987
I do not think you are even trying to understand my meaning here.
Perhaps you should speak to your wife about this, in private, where people from other clans can't hear what you're saying and misunderstand it as plotting an assassination.

>>16978992
Trees tend to to more to stop Erosion then grass.

>>16978987
>>16978956

Ladies, ladies

The finest of blades
Softly tread beneath the feet
Soft grass outstrips steel

Can't talk of dark and shameful deeds wait? There's enough blood shed in this world without deliberately seeking more.

You injure me greatly, Shiba-san, my blood is not noble enough to warrant your consideration, but as a Lion clan soldier, I have saved and done much good for your clan in turn. My blood, while not as noble as your's, I spill in the name of home, emperor, and love.

>>16979016

I mean, I know you two are poking fun at the reputation of your own Clan with commendable self-deprecation, but...poison is a topic not broached in polite company, no?

>>16979005

Don't bring Gaijin "logic" into this.

>>16979005
This indeed true, my ecologically aware friend, but I was merely using the Scorpions words against them. They do it so much to others, I feel I should at the very least return the favor.

>>16979029
And again the Shiba is the voice of reason. I again apologize, for I thought that "polite company" had left us when that man started tossing around insults like an honorless Ronin. I have forgotten myself.

>>16979049
A Scorpion speaking of honor? Have the Kami returned, or do my ears simply deceive me?

>>16979027

No, my friend, I meant no slight. Simply that proper quoting is often neglected except among high-born families.

>9049
Have some sake, calm your nerves. I have a joke for you.

"A Mantis clan walks into a geisha parlour. He asks the Madame, "What young flower will service me today?"

The Madame replies, "Service yourself in prayer."

The Mantis, enraged, draws his sword screaming in fury.

The Madame drops a coin, causing the mantis to fall over his own feet.

>>16979049

Everyone does at some point, but you remembered yourself within a few minutes, which is good. Please, enjoy your rice ball, I think I have some dumplings, too. I can always cook more, my parents insisted I be well-rounded...if I'm chosen to be a yojimbo, I'll need to provide for all needs of my charge in an emergency.

rolled 7 = 7

So, tell me, if I were to sit atop the tallest mountain, with no sword or arrow, and throw down curses upon all those who passed by, how would you as a warrior deal with me?

>>16979066

They speak of it often, they just rarely accompany the words.

>>16979066
I will respond no more to spiteful words spoken of my clan.

>>16979086
I feel a little guilty, laughing at the expense of others to get over others laughing at me.
That was a good one though.

>>16979086
OOH OOH! I have joke!
Crane man walks into bar, says OUCH!

>>16979112
>throwing down curses

All it would take would be a cutting rebuke to topple you from your perch.

>>16979112

Well, obviously you'd be a hermit and sage, so the proper thing to do would be to leave offerings and venerate your abode as a hermitage.

>>16979116
The irony of the situation amuses me. A Scorpion, member of the clan USED to being the source of ire in the Empire... objects to spiteful comments made by a single Bushi.

>>16979115
This is true.


Ah! Jokes, I have one: How do you tell the difference between Unicorn women, and their horses when they are in the heat?
You can't!

rolled 19 = 19

>>16979127
Wise, but in turn, I would make no disguise. I am a vile creature, born of dust and darkness. Risen from the graves of fallen sages, I have come to do ill upon all who pass. If truly you offered to pay tribute, my only acceptance would be a single curse on a single member of your clan every offering! May they live wretched lives, full of misery! HA.

I love my wife but sometimes I am puzzled by her responses.

I was looking for my daisho one evening and asked her if she had seen it by chance. She replied, "Where is the butterfly in the moonlight?"

rolled 8 = 8

>>16979125
Words to match words, but I will not move. What better way to see my prey then to be perched atop the tallest mountain. I am a dead thing, and no amount of backtalk can cut me down. Do you dare follow through with your smug threats, or walk this world cursed forever?

>>16979146
>where is my daisho?
>Where is the butterfly in the moonlight?

That means it was under the table.

Pfft. Men.

>>16979146
Should have picked a Crab. They at least speak openly, if a bit TOO openly at times.

>>16979171
>>16979146
Wait... Where IS the butterfly in the moonlight? Outside?

rolled 12 = 12

>>16979186
The man would ask that, wondering what it could mean

The smart man would look outside, trying to follow her logic.

The wise man would understand that she is hiding it, and ask why.

>>16979116

So, what are your skills, Shosuro-san?

>>16979278
Oh you know, this and that. Don't want to boast, you know.
I hear many things about the Shugenja of the Phoenix. Are you among their ranks?

>>16978751
A-ah, forgive my belated response, but I- I...

Oh dear, I fear she's left.

I-I'm afraid I never learned the art of my Kakita cousins, but should you desire an archery contest, I would be q-quite pleased to oblige you.

>>16978116
The Kakita are not exactly untalented at non-duelling swordplay.

>>16979328

I have done no such thing, Asahina-san. To do so would be both dishonorable and rude. Now. Archery. I cannot speak for Hida-san but I am willing to participate in an archery contest if you do not wish to cross blades with us. It would only be fair that way.

>>16979375
O-oh! Excuse me, Matsu-san.

No, it would be incredibly rude of me to intrude upon your sparring. P-please forgive me for doing so in the first place!

>>16979413

Sparring, like war, has many aspects. As my sensei would say, "One must strive to become proficient in all methods of war." I, for one, have neglected my archery in favor of bladework. I would be honored if you matched your arrows against mine.

>>16979413
Fuck you hard and unendingly. Do you think people were shy in that bullshit anime way in actual feudal Japan? Were they fuck. If you're going to piss about and embarrass yourself you'd just be locked up when visitors came by.

Fuck you, and fuck the entire style of playing you're trying to represent. Use it in Big Eyes Small Mouth, or Magical Burst, and nowhere fucking else. It's a horrible character type to have in a co-operative game and to RP with.

>>16979539
God you are SO MAD! I'm only following the thread, but you butthurt... I can FEEL it!

>>16979309

Me? A shugenja? No, I only guard them. I mean, I'm good with the bisento and bow, and decent in a duel...I'm just a simple bushi, nobody interesting.

>>16979576
I'm not even mad, bro. I'm just giving my opinion with emphasis.

>>16979375

I'm not very skilled with a bow, but I'd be happy to participate for some practice.

>>16979590
>I'm not even mad, bro
You sure had me fooled.

>>16979539

The Asahina are a pacifistic, scholarly, healing-centric, borderline ascetic family noted as being the shy doves among the more flamboyant or assertive Crane. If you're going to be shy, Asahina is the most likely bet.

>>16979604
>shy in that bullshit anime way

>>16979593

There you are, Hida-san. It is settled then. Shall we?

>>16979607

People stutter in real life you dick

>>16979626

Always, Matsu-san. I was just putting the targets up, actually. On the wall, we use dead goblins or lame ponies, mostly. Half-dead monsters sometimes, but...honestly we usually slit their throats to be safe first, it's a grisly business.

>>16979658
Not the ones I deign to befriend.

You mad, stutterer?

>>16979670
> deign to befriend.

You exclude people who have speech impediments? Shit that's cold.

>>16979667

It is, Katsuei-san. It really is.

>HELLO RECRUITS
>HANG THE BOKKEN
Recruits learning to use swords instead of spears and pikes?

>>16979667
>>16979725

War is always a grisly business, Hida-sans. I would know.

Seeing this thread is like watching the Empire from the heavens. So many little things at cross purposes making a larger one that is unified. What a paradox!

It is always good to see Shou Ting-san about.
He has much wisdom in the way of elder Lion, and is a benefit to us all.
His words have been entered into the archives for posterity.

>>16979870
But it is in the small things that a grand thing is born, Mirumoto-san.

A rice seedling does not dream of feeding the Empress, after all.

>>16980207
Of course! I was merely marveling at seeing the design so clearly for the first time.
After all, I am still young and, while I have learned the Tao, I have yet to see it's truths in motion.

>>16979742
Sword practice is important, even for archers and pikemen.

I prefer my yume and yari, but as a Lion clan bushi, it's hard to not at least know the basics of the blade.

Although I'd never willingly fight with a katana in a duel. I'd die faster than a crab without his armor.

I'm not mad at you Lion-kuns. History is history. The future is the future.

>>16983066

Fall down seven times, become a Mantis

>>16983042

You'll nearly always have to use a katana, dude, despite the jokes to the contrary, even Shao-Teng has said that you shouldn't neglect your Iaijutsu skillblock.

Matsu-sensei does that mean we can use guns in duels?

>>16983574
Guns are dishonorable. There's nothing dishonorable about using a weapon other than a katana in a duel if your opponent consents to it. But, even if he consents to you using any weapon possible, guns on their own are dishonorable.

>>16977803
>>TELL ME, WHAT LESSON DO WE LEARN FROM THIS?

That the Lion have no respect for the traditions of the empire and in fact hold them in contempt when they might inconvenience them.

>>16984309
Yet none of this could have happened were it not for one Kakita blasphemously ignoring the courtesy his illustrious ancestor and first Champion of the Son of Heaven would show all his foes.
Kakita was a humble, cunning, and brilliant artisan, with biwa or blade. His humility won the heart of Doji Kami. It won him many allies who had once been his foe. Only Matsu had animosity, for reasons well documented. Even his nemesis Mirumoto respected him.
No, for all the distaste of using a siege engine outside of siege, it was at the Crane commanders assent. Assent born of hubris.
In short, the shame of this path required both parties to walk willingly.

>>16983485
"Dude" listen to what I said, sword practice is important.

I just am far more talented with a pike and bow.