Our DM asked us for 5th level characters, and I decided that even though I didn't really like dwarfs all that much, they were at least "normal" enough to be readily approved. For a class, I considered being a cleric, but in the end I didn't think I would be able to realistically portray one without knowing more about the gods of the campaign, and the DM might not want to put so much focus on them. In the end, I decided to play as a fighter, and named my dwarf Gurell Wornstone.

When I arrived at the DM's house, I was a little taken aback by the setup for the game. We were playing in his basement, which had a low ceiling that was made even lower by black paper streamers that must have been from some party long ago. Though there were plenty of chairs, they were all pushed against the walls, with the cushions removed and spread around the floor along with other pillows and a few blankets, looking all the world like some Arabian harem. Missing, of course, were the beautiful women, but in their place my friend was lying down among the pillows, resting his head in one hand.

Our DM strode into the room, settled himself into a thick pile of pillows, and beckoned me to come and get comfortable. I sat down upon a cushion, feeling nervous and awkward, wondering where I was supposed to role my dice and where the miniatures were.

Our DM asked for our characters, and I handed him my character sheet. He glanced it over, frowned, and then passed it back without a word. He then turned to my friend, and asked what his character was.

He started out by saying he had it all memorized in his head, and hadn't written any of it down.

A bad start, my gut told me.

The character was Leoparabu Conchaki, a Wizard Ninja. He said that he looked human (except for his red eyes and fangs), but was actually a Half-drow/Half-ogre. He then began to explain his character's history, an intensely convoluted plot that sounded like twelve stories smashed together, though none of them managed to successfully explain why he was a wizard or a ninja, though I can't really blame him for also not being able to satisfactorily explain being a half-drow/half-ogre.

Our DM listened intently, asking questions about odd things ("How many servants did your castle have?" and "After you killed your step-brother, what happened to his magical necklace?", etc.), while I tried to keep track of just how many family members he had saved, killed, and slept with.

When he had finished, I was starting to understand why the rest of their group had left. My head hurt just thinking about all the powers and spells and items he had mentioned casually, many of them which were definitely in no books and purely of his own creation.

The DM turned to me expectantly, and asked me what my character's history was. I had decided Gurell was a recently retired miner who wanted to spend his last few years living like an adventurer in a clumsy attempt at recapturing the essence of his lost youth, and I told the DM that. He waited, as if expecting more, but then turned away before I could pad up Gurell's backstory a bit more.

After jotting down a few notes in a tiny little book that was barely larger than a matchbook, our DM started to introduce us to his world, the world of Gigagantis.

"In Gigagantis, Giants are giant assholes."

Another bad start, by my reckoning.

To express just how big of an asshole these giants were, our DM explained how they were honor bound to destroy any man-made structure that would allow a human to stand taller than them. This meant that the shorter giants would go around attempting to smash wagons, the larger giants would tear apart houses, and the largest would lay siege to castles and towers.

We were starting off in the ruined remnants of Castle Conchaki. In the middle of the night, the tallest of the giants had singlehandedly smashed apart the castle, leaving only the people who could survive having a castle fall apart around them, Leoparabu and Gurell.

Leoparabu was pissed. Even his player was pissed. He started yelling at how unfair it was, and how he hadn't even been given a chance to fight against the giant, and how he was going to feed him to the Spider Queen, until I decided it would be a good chance to try out my best dwarf impression. "There's nothing we can do about it now," Gurell said in a gruff voice, "Nothing except to seek revenge and recompense."
"Shut up, Girl," Leoparbu said, "You're just a dwarf going through his midlife crisis. You don't understand anything about true pain."

I was surprised by how much that stung.

It was several different layers of hurt. I chose to ignore how he had pushed aside my well-meaning advice, how he had insulted my character's backstory, how he claimed that only his demented character understood pain, and how he had given my character the worst nickname in the world, and I instead chose to focus on how Gurell would be hurt. Gurell was hurt because he knew full well that he was just going through a crisis, but there was no way he could admit it out loud. He was a gruff dwarf, and he kept that sort of business to himself.

"Sulk if you want, boy," Gurell replied, "I see footprints big enough to bathe a mule in, and I intend to follow them."

Our DM didn't ask me if I had the Track feat, or even to make a survival check, which I guess was just because the tracks of a giant were easy to follow. Gurell had made it almost out of sight of the ruins of the castle before Leparabu caught up with him, fuming. "You don't get to make decisions without me, understand?" he said, glaring.
"I don't recall marrying ye," Gurell replied.
"You won't even recall your own name if I decide to slip you some Green Lotus poison," Leoparabu said angrily, "Or if I give you Red Lotus poison, you'll be dead in a second." I took a moment to wonder whether that was just a bluff meant to scare me, but ended up deciding it was best not to find out.

We followed the tracks into a forest, and were then promptly ambushed by three dragons. My eyes grew wide as the DM described them, since I knew full well that two 5th level characters had no chance against a single adult dragon, let alone three. As I cursed my DM for not paying attention to appropriate challenge rating guidelines, I waited for him to describe what color they were, and my eyes grew even wider when he said they were covered with yellow scales.

What the fuck is a yellow dragon.

Leoparabu didn't seem to be concerned. At all. I seemed to recall that he had slain a few dragons in his backstory, though I don't remember him saying exactly how he managed those feats. So, Gurell prayed and hoped that there was some amazing reason that Leoparbu had managed to disregard all logic and defeat monsters that would likely kill him in a single hit, and that he would manage to repeat that feat today.

Leoparabu, with the kind of tact that I expected from him, calmly shouted at the dragons, "I've killed six of your friends, and if you don't get out of our way, I'll do it to you."

I waited for the DM to ask him to make an intimidate check. Instead, the DM asked him to make a reflex save. The Dragons all simultaneously released their breath weapons, a stream of boiling acid. A stream of boiling acid with arcs of lightning spiraling around it.

What the fuck is a yellow dragon.

The player shifted around atop his cushions until he managed to get into a position where he could roll his dice. With a quick toss and some mental gymnastics, he managed to get an impressive reflex save of 24 (from a roll of a 6), which was still a few short of what was needed not to get hit by the breath weapon.

As the DM eagerly began to pull out d6 after d6 until his hands were heavy with them, Leoparabu decided to reveal his family heirloom, the Green Ruby, which would allow him to negate one attack against him. I frowned, but the DM simply asked how many times he could use it. "Only once," he answered, though he sounded like he wanted to say "At will." Ignoring that it was actually three attacks that were hitting him, the DM allowed the Green Ruby to absorb all the damage, shattering while leaving Leoparabu unharmed.

Gurell stepped forward, pleading with the dragons, "Dragons, we are not your enemies, and it would be a poor plan to make this man one. He has endured your deadly breath, and speaks no lies of besting dragons. We merely seek to pass."
"And if you don't let us pass," Leoparabu added, "I'll fuck you up."

The DM considered all the dice he held in his hands again, an evil glint in his eyes, but he managed to resist the temptation. Putting the dice down, he lazily said that the dragons flew off, leaving us to continue our quest.

Feeling relieved, I smiled at my friend, who suddenly shot me a look of disgust when he realized something. "We didn't get to loot them! I lost a magic item, and we didn't even get to loot them!" Leoparabu shouted, slamming his fist repeatedly into the ground.
"Consider it as pay for the toll," Gurell replied, "And consider yourself fortunate you lost only that gem."

Our quest continued, us following the giant's footprints, until the DM decided to throw goblins at us.

One thousand goblins.

One thousand goblins, loitering around in the middle of a path, just waiting for some adventurers to walk into them.

As I tried to formulate some sort of plan, like finding some wall or cave to use to lessen their advantage of numbers, Leoparabu ran forward, throwing out a fireball. Nearly forty goblins died from that single attack, leaving us with only 9,960+ goblins left to contend with.

It was a trial of patience. The goblins could not hit Leoparabu, not even on a natural 20 thanks to some magical ninja ability Leoparabu had, so it just became a question of how long it would take for the half-drow/half-ogre to kill all the goblins. He was basically a walking blender, taking down eight goblins a round through some collection of feats I'm certain he couldn't have, and sometimes 40 or so when he decided to throw down a fireball. All of this was being done without miniatures, relying on us to simply assume that every single 5-foot space around us was covered in goblins.

Gurell wasn't fairing quite so well. He was cutting down goblins left and right, cleaving through them with his axe just as easily as Leoparabu was with his magic lightning scythe. Yet, though he was tough and gruff, he was still being cut apart by the hoard of goblins, and was genuinely thankful that most of their attention was on Leoparabu. Just as he managed to take down his 100th goblin, Gurell collapsed from a dagger wound, fully expecting to die. Thankfully, Wizard Ninjas have access to healing spells, and he was back on his feet before he even had a chance to catch his breath.

By the time there were only 200 goblins left, our DM had gotten bored, and decided to allow Leoparabu to kill all of them at once with a fireball by having them all squeeze together in a 20-foot radius circle. With all of them dead, Leoparabu started to loot them all, and recieved 1,000 pieces of copper. Unsatisfied, he also ended up with 1,000 pairs of goblins boots, 1,000 daggers, and 1,000 pairs of goblin ears.

He tucked all of these away into a bag of holding.

It seemed like the DM was ready for the big finale. We continued following the footsteps, until we stumbled upon the sleeping giant. The giant quickly awoke and stood, and was described as being over 400 feet tall. This meant that his footprints were probably so big and so deep, you could bathe an entire pack of mules in one. I'm pretty sure that the DM didn't realize this, but this giant was bigger than Godzilla. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the giant was much taller than Conchaki Castle had been, which I didn't bother to mention because I was too busy trying to figure out how the hell we were supposed to fight this guy.

Leoparabu ran up and started stabbing the giant in the toe. He was ripping and tearing, while our DM described it as not even breaking the giant's skin. As Leoparabu hopelessly continued to exfoliate the giant, the behemoth lifted up his club and slammed it down onto him.

The DM just grabbed two enormous handfuls of dice, preparing to throw them all down while I stared in horror. Then, with a desperate look in his eyes, Leoparabu revealed another of his family heirlooms, the Blue Ruby, which could negate one attack.

My jaw turned to lead, dropping so hard I pulled nearly every muscle in my face. I turned to the DM, who frowned before putting down his dice. "How many times can you use this ruby?" the DM asked.
"Only once," Leoparabu replied, though everyone in the room knew that he was likely carrying a ruby in every color of the rainbow.

The battle continued between Leoparabu and the Giant, with mountains in the path of the giant's club being destroyed while the rubies went through Orange, Yellow, Purple, Red, Black, White, and he even resorted to using a Diamond Ruby. Even Leoparabu knew he couldn't keep pulling rubies out of his ass forever, and Gurell was on the verge of tears. Not because he was about to die, but because anyone with half a brain knew that rubies can only be red, while all other colors of corundum are called sapphires.

Then, I remembered.

"The Red Lotus!" Gurell shouted, "If ya think ya could poison a dwarf, I'm betting it could poison a giant!"

Leoparabu stared at Gurell, utterly confused, without any clue as to what the hell the dwarf was shouting about. I stared at my friend in complete disbelief, not willing to believe that Leoparabu had only been bluffing about carrying the poison when he had been carrying.nine magical bullshit rubies.

Then, as if struck by a giant's club, recognition hit him. "Oh yeah, Girl!" Leoparabu said, digging into his bag to retrieve the poison, "But why do we need the giant to forget something?"
"THAT'S THE GREEN LOTUS, YOU STUPID MISBEGOTEN SON OF A MONKEY AND A SPIDER."

Even with the Red Lotus poison in hand, we needed some way of getting it into the giant. Gurell ran as fast as his short legs would let him, charging straight at the toe that Leoparabu had so desperately tried to cut open. Swinging with his axe as hard as he could, he slammed it hard into the toe, hoping to draw blood.

Nothing. The callused toe would not yield blood, even though Gurell could fell trees with such a hit. Thankfully, Leoparabu at least knew when it was time to attack, and followed with his own strike. He kept cutting into the toe, but even with all his Half-ogre strength and all his Half-drow skill, the toe was beyond his ability. As he failed, our impending doom loomed above us, the giant's club soon to come crashing down to drive us deep into the earth.

With death only seconds away, Gurell took a moment to look around him. He had fled the mines that had been his livelihood, afraid that they would rob him of everything he had been in his youth if he continued to work in them. Now, he wondered if he regretted his choice to leave, as he would soon be nothing more than just another one of the craters that now covered the landscape.

With sudden inspiration, he shouted at Leoparabu. "Leap between his toes, ya fool! It's our only chance!"

Without questioning his companion, the wizard ninja dove alongside the fighter, deep between the giant's immense and foul smelling toes. The club stupidly changed its course to follow, and the DM finally got his chance to roll all the dice he held in his hands.

Bones splintered and flesh tore as the giant's toes were crushed by his own club, and I momentarily feared that we too would share in that damage. Thankfully, our improvised shelter held, and we managed to emerge unscathed, looking up to see the giant screaming in pain. Without hesitating, Leoparabu ran to the big toe, with its cracked and bleeding nail, and slammed the bottle of poison into the open wound. With a flourish, he slammed his foot down as well, pushing the bottle deeper and breaking it, releasing its contents.

As the Giant slowly died, the poison taking its time to course up his veins and into his heart, I realized something. Even though I was playing with the worst player and the worst DM, I was having fun. Even though it had all been ridiculous, and could have easily been some sort of gaming horror story, by just allowing the two of them to have fun while they let me do my own thing as well allowed us to have an awesome game.

The Giant bellowed as the Red Lotus poison reached his heart, and fell over, his colossal body crushing a fair amount of the landscape. Feeling rather proud of our accomplishment, I smiled at the two in my group, and the two of them smiled back. In the hours that we had played, I had ended up reclining amidst the pillows and blankets, and had to admit I had grown fairly comfortable.

To conclude our adventure, out of the sky three yellow dragons soared down, landing upon the giant's legs to stare down upon Leoparabu and Gurell. The explained that as we had slain the giant that was terrorizing the land, they were going to reward the two of us with 10,000 pieces of gold, and that if we wished, we could marry their daughters, leaving me with only a single thought.

What the fuck is a yellow dragon.

tl;dr

I'm going to use Yellow Dragons one day, I swear it.

Congrats, OP, you just discovered badwrongfun. It's some of the most fun you'll ever have. But it's bad and wrong and not conductive to serious games unless everyone is playing badwrongfun.

I lol'd at diamond ruby.

>>17120954
Nice story. Although, I confess, I would have walked out during the Goblin hack-a-thon.

Leoperabu leap at the chance to marry the daughter of the yellow dragon who had offered. We were whisked away in their giant talons to their massive cave, where thousands of yellow dragons were congregating. Gurell took a moment to survey all these yellow dragons and sighed.

With sudden glee, Leoparabu ran towards a very feminine looking yellow dragon. This would be his wife. Music played. Gurell approached the soon-to-be couple and opened the door, got on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

This is a pretty funny combination of "Pants on head retarded" and "Pretty cool guy"

Great storytime, OP

>What the fuck is a yellow dragon.

I have no idea

I was half-expecting Sonic or a Sonic related character to show up in there.

>>17120844
>I decided to play as a fighter, and named my dwarf Gurell Wornstone

WORNSTONE!

Well-done, OP. A pinch of tolerance can earn you a lot of friends.

You oughta try DM'ing for them at some point, though.

The fuck you talkin' about? That DM is a boss.

great storytime OP was lots of fun!

Very nice, OP. You out-played and out-roleplayed a group consisting entirely of yourself, a That Guy, and a That DM. I applaud.

And I think you would do amazing and have a lot of fun if you ever find yourself a That Guy/DM absent group.

Perfect.

but seriously what the fuck is a yellow dragon

>>17121002
Farnsworth.

>What the fuck is a yellow dragon.

>You out-played and out-roleplayed a group consisting entirely of yourself, a That Guy, and a That DM.

Seconded.

>One thousand goblins, loitering around in the middle of a path, just waiting for some adventurers to walk into them.

Oh god, memories of that plaza area in Pool of Radiance are resurfacing...

What in the actual fuck?

Someone needs to draw a yellow dragon.

. . . No, seriously, guys.

What the fuck is a yellow dragon?

>>17121087
Sounds like a shitty ninja clan.

>>17121081
Cool.

Now draw one breathing acid/lightning.

>>17121087
Acid dragon apparently.

>>17121092
Boiling acid lightning. It deals fire, acid, AND lightning damage.

Just FYI, Yellow Dragons DO exist in second edition AD&D. They are relatively weak desert-dwellers that breath corrosive gas as I recall.

They sure as hell ain't THAT.

At one point you reference "the other players there" in a situation where there aren't any other players besides you.

>>17121117

Because, y'know . . . Why the fuck not, I guess.

I would have honestly just left in the middle of That Guy's background speech to the That DM. Just got up and left.

But props to you for sticking with it and outperforming them.

Now ditch them and never look back.

>>17121151
This.

>>17121142

Where? I didn't notice it. Maybe you misread it, or it was a typo.

>>17121151
I wouldn't even continue being friends with that guy any more. He fucked that friendship.

yellow dragons for 3.5 were from dragon compendium volume 1, but they don't have wings

>>17121170

'tis what I meant by
>Now ditch them and never look back.

Never look back, OP. Never!

Jesus Christ, I'd rather be stuck forever with /tg/ as my only connection to anything /tg/-related then to ever do a game with people like that, once I'd discovered what they were like.

>>17121189
Ah, fair enough. I concur.

That was exceptional.

>"YOU STUPID MISBEGOTTEN SON OF A MONKEY AND A SPIDER"

Lost it there.

>>17120844

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WTAzaCpvlI

ITT:

A guy posts about having fun with his friends, even though they are kind of dumb and bad at roleplaying games. It is a good story, ends happily, and everybody enjoyed themselves.

/tg/ recommends OP end the friendship, quite the game, and have the RIGHT kind of fun with the RIGHT kind of friends instead.

>>17121415
>My friend is the worst player in the world. Which is fantastic, because my DM is the worst DM in the world.
>Most of you can already guess just how much of a waste that all was.
>OP is of a sad, hurt looking cat

You didn't actually read the story, did you?

Dragon Magazine #38 featured dragons of the rest of the spectrum, including yellow and orange.

>>17121573
Stats/fluff please?

Why is noone capping this?

>>To express just how big of an asshole these giants were, our DM explained how they were honor bound to destroy any man-made structure that would allow a human to stand taller than them. This meant that the shorter giants would go around attempting to smash wagons, the larger giants would tear apart houses, and the largest would lay siege to castles and towers.


This is fucking awesome. Your DM is not the worst DM ever.

I actually really like the fairytale conceit of a man gifted nine rubies of every color of the rainbow, each with the power to protect him, just once, from harm. He proceeds to use them, one by one, to escape impossible situations and withstand blows that would fell the mightiest of warriors, and bluffs his way into defeating the goblin armies and winning the hand of the princess in marriage, as any good fairytale protagonist should do.
It would make a great children's book. Maybe not such a great character, though.

>>17120860
>"while I tried to keep track of just how many family members he had saved, killed, and slept with."
>family members
>slept with

>>17121755

It'd make a good bumbling hero.
Like the moral of Aladdin, just replace three wishes with nine rubies. Must learn to use them for good rather than his own interests, but it takes to the last one for the hero to finally learn the lesson.

In the hands of a good role-player, that could actually be a very, very good character to play.
Just not with a That Guy.

>>17121747

i know i might use it to run a comical game of DND

>The battle continued between Leoparabu and the Giant, with mountains in the path of the giant's club being destroyed while the rubies went through Orange, Yellow, Purple, Red, Black, White, and he even resorted to using a Diamond Ruby. Even Leoparabu knew he couldn't keep pulling rubies out of his ass forever, and Gurell was on the verge of tears. Not because he was about to die, but because anyone with half a brain knew that rubies can only be red, while all other colors of corundum are called sapphires.

Lost it here. Anyone who could put up with this kinda stuff is a saint, I'm glad it paid off in the end.

>bought a rulebook
>for something he didnt know whether he wanted to play or not
>read the entire rulebook
>probably just on /tg/ because he is a spineless coward who cant say no to his "friends"
kill yourself, its the only way out

>>17121832
Those Wacky Drow ammirite?

>"But why do we need the giant to forget something?"
"THAT'S THE GREEN LOTUS, YOU STUPID MISBEGOTEN SON OF A MONKEY AND A SPIDER."

Priceless

Screencaps please, too retarded to do it myself

>>17120844
Very well told OP, very well told. More freeform then not, as RPing should be, even if one finds the stylistic content some what irritating.

So who's capping it and making it a .jpg for the collection?

Your peers were retarded, but if a DM feels like statting up yellow dragons, there's nothing stopping him from doing so. Just saiyan.

I don't even buy that this was a real experience by the OP but it's a damn funny story!

>this is now a yellow dragonfruit thread

>>17122036
>Just saiyan.
>yellow dragon

for your viewing pleasure

>>17122689
Thank you elegen/tg/entleman

I am pleasantly surprised.

EverythingwentbetterthanIexpected.jpg
I was expecting a horrorible THAT GROUP story. This is much better.
Favorite part is THAT GUY pulling ruby rainbows out of fucking nowhere.

>>17121487
It's called a "lead." You start by thinking he's being sarcastic about it being fantastic that the DM was so terrible, but you later realize that because the DM didn't argue with the players and chose whatever challenges he felt like that it was possible to play with the worst player in the world.

In a way, him being a bad DM turned out with him being a good DM.

And, reading the books was just a waste because they didn't bother playing with the rules.

He shouldn't leave the group just because they're terrible at the game. If he's having fun, and the adventures are exciting, he should help the other two become better at it through his influence.

>>17123658
>he should help the other two become better at it through his influence.

That's the spirit!

>>17122689
Thanks.

For future reference though, it's usually better to screencap at a smaller width, since not all monitors/screens are that wide.

I dare say that the DM wasn't so bad. Perhaps a bit cardboard in how he wrote up encounters but otherwise, that does sound like a pretty fucking fun universe that he designed.

>>17123667
This any better?

>>17123685
Fantastic. Thanks.

>>17123668
Imagine if your DM tried half of this stuff or allowed a person to play like that Leo guy. Would you think he wasn't that bad?

>>17123667
Ah of course, didn't even consider that.
Lesson learned for the next epic thread.

>>17121747
I'm almost inclined to use this in my next campaign.

Giants are manifestations of nature's pride, always at war against the hubris of man.

People either have to live underground like dwarfs or have their home demolished by roaming giants. Some people build castles to defend themselves against the smaller giants, only to be unknowingly attracting larger, meaner giants.

One city, fed up with giants, decides to build a tower so immense, with walls so thick, that even the largest known giants would be dwarfed by it.

Little do they know that these acts of pride are actually what are awakening the larger giants from their slumber, and this act of folly will awaken the largest giant of them all, who will destroy all of mankind in his anger.

>clubs

Silly baka gaijin, my giants fold their mountains a million times to produce superior quality giant katanas capable of slicing any castle in two with a single whirlwind slash.

Well that story turned out a lot better than what I was expecting.

Your DM and your friend are bad roleplayers, yes, but not nearly as bad as some of the other horror stories that I've heard on this board.

Okay, the Dragon Compendium has Orange, Purple and Yellow Dragons for 3.5 (fluff is that there's a theory that Bahamut and Tiamat had a sister whose dominion covered these three (her name is lost to history), but Tiamat murdered her, and the rest of the chromatics tore these three races to near-extinction.

Anyways, the notable traits of Yellow Dragons...

Air and Water subtypes.
Live in lakes, swamps, and coastlines (they're amphibious).
Slow on land (20 ft. no matter what size), but have amazing fly speeds (good maneuverability), fairly good swim speeds, and a slow burrow speed (also 20 ft. at all sizes).
Chaotic Evil alignment.
Supernatural flight ability, has no wings. Gets the equivalent of a CL 20 Feather Fall effect if its flight is suppressed.
Breath weapon is a cone of salt that damages, with a reflex save to avoid being covered in a crust of salt (-10 to all speeds [if a speed hits 0, you can't move. If flight hits 0, you fall] -2 to AC and to STR, DEX, or CON-based checks, stacks with multiple hits. Each effect wears off after 10 minutes, or a gallon of water or water-based liquid per failed save.
+2 bonus to attack rolls when in the air.
Obscuring Mist 3/day at Very Young, Control Water 3/day at Young Adult, Control Winds 3/day at Mature Adult, Control Weather 1/day at Ancient, Whirlwind at Great Wyrm.

I can go on about the others too, if you want.

>>17124259
This dragon actually doesn't seem too bad. Is it considered a "True" dragon?

>>17124259

>Breath weapon is a cone of salt that damages, with a reflex save to avoid being covered in a crust of salt

Best breath weapon ever.

OP, there's only one way your story could have ended better.

>What the fuck is a yellow half-dragon?

>>17124417
Or,

>How do you fuck a yellow dragon?

>>17124352
>>17124259
GIANT MARGARITAS FOR EVERYONE!

>>17124569
THIS DAY IS A HOLY DAY.

>>17124259
Sounds kind of like the Saltspray Dragons from Guild Wars: Factions.

Fuck the haters, this DM is awesome

>>17123772
so...
the tower of babel?

>"In Gigagantis, Giants are giant assholes."

Fuck, i lost it right here
GG OP

>>17121002
Best post in thread.
You win an internets.

>>17121487
>I realized something. Even though I was playing with the worst player and the worst DM, I was having fun. Even though it had all been ridiculous, and could have easily been some sort of gaming horror story, by just allowing the two of them to have fun while they let me do my own thing as well allowed us to have an awesome game.
>I smiled at the two in my group, and the two of them smiled back. In the hours that we had played, I had ended up reclining amidst the pillows and blankets, and had to admit I had grown fairly comfortable.

Did you?

Classic thread, OP.

>>17124417
>there ginnise

Yeah, there you go, Ginnise.

Are you Buddha?

Because you'd need Buddha-style patience to deal with these sort of people.

I would have left the second I saw the basement.

*clappity clappity*

Sorry, was called to go to D&D early today.

>>17124310
Yes, it counts as a True Dragon. So are the Orange and Purple ones. Yellows are considered one of the weakest True Dragons, but are unmatched among them in speed and agility. To sum up, they'd get shredded up close, but good luck to them if they wanna catch it.

Now, details on the Orange Dragon.

Water subtype.
Live in lakes and rivers near tropical forests (amphibious).
Fairly fast flight, 40 ft. land speed, 40 ft. Swim (at all ages).
Neutral Evil alignment.
Breath weapon is a line made of a mixture of oily saliva and a chemical that reacts explosively to air or water (but not the oil-based saliva). Reflex save to avoid being goo'd up. Two rounds later, anyone goo'd goes up in a 15 ft. radius explosion (no save for the goo'd creature, Reflex to halve damage for anyone else in range; each individual only takes one hit from the explosions, even if in range of multiple ones). Recharges slower than usual (1d6 rounds).
Poison Immunity.
Pass Without Trace 3/day at Young, Control Water 3/day at Young Adult, Heat Metal 3/day at Mature Adult, Suggestion 1/day at Very Old, Hallucinatory Terrain at Wyrm.

Oranges are territorial, tyrannical, and often attack boats and nearby people for the sport of it. They'll go for the rare metals, but in truth, they just wanna make others feel pain. They often bathe creatures in their breath, then swim/fly off and watch until their breath weapon goes 'boom', just for the lulz.

And now Purple Dragons.

No subtypes.
Live around temperate plains.
40 ft. on land (all sizes), average flight for dragons, and a slow burrow speed ( 20 ft. at all sizes).
Lawful Evil alignment.
Breath weapon... it has one weapon that can be applied three different ways.
Way 1: Cone of shining energy, Reflex halves.
Way 2: Brilliant flash, Fortitude or be permanently blinded. Radius 30 - 100 ft. depending on size of dragon.
Way 3: A blade of brilliant energy, using the dragon's natural reach. Does iterative attacks using the dragon's BAB (max. 4 hits/round) as touch attacks, but deals half the damage of the cone and does not apply Strength to damage. Takes up the dragon's Bite attack for the round, and the blade fades at end of attack action.
Night Flier: If flying at night, gain a +10 racial to Hide checks, and ignores size penalties to Hide.
Gust of Wind 3/day at Young, Pyrotechnics 3/day at Juvenile, Heat Metal 3/day at Adult, Suggestion 1/day at Ancient, Wall of Force 1/day at Great Wyrm.


Purples are arrogant as fuck, and one of the most intelligent dragon races. They believe themselves to be lords among dragonkind, and will actively hunt down other chromatics and metallics to beat down so they can prove it. They often overwhelm human or dwarven kingdoms, and then conquer them, through economic and political skill, combined with knowledge of human(oid) nature and a good dose of sheer Charisma. The humanoids generally choose a prosperous life under a tyrant's fist (er... claw) over utter annihilation by the dragon. Generally considered to be rivaled only by Reds.

>>17130505
sooooo...these fuckers breath napalm, basically?

>>17130650
Purple dragon you say?

>>17130876
This used to scare me so bad...

>>17130650
Purple dragons sound FABULOUS with their DAZZLING light attacks

>>17130876
MIM! We agreed no dragons!