okay, what shall we have sex with?

Aw yis.

AWWWWW YEAAAAH

Oh boy, a new Heretical Love, just in time for me to go to work.

Heretical Love is back! This is Fabulous~!

Oh Boy Heretical Love even during new year.

>>17387144
So what did you do for New Years?
>mfw

>>17387153
WHAT ELSE BITCHES
HERETICAL LOVE
>high fives all around.

>>17387159
Forgot to put up my name.

Mika slowly pulls away from you.

“That was…” She’s looking away, one of her mechanical arms twiddling madly with a piece of her hair.

“Good?” You inquire.

“Better than good…”

You enjoy several more hours with her, in which she is kind enough to make you quite a delicious sandwich. You wish she would ditch her robe so you can see what’s under it.

“*ARF ARF*” Barks Rex from the entry room.

“Ah!” Mika exclaims suddenly, looking back.

“I forgot, today I need to run some maintenance on Rex!” She hurries out with you in tow.

Rex is sitting there in all his banebladenss, busying himself trying to get into the bag with his treats.

“You should go get some stuff done.” Mika smiles, before looking at the tank.

“This is going to take… Quite a while.” She adds, noticing several issues including oil leaking from one of the forward guns.

“Err… You sure you don’t want me to stick around?” You ask, eyeing SLaDOS nervously.

Mika laughs.

“Well, I would, if Rex here wasn’t VERY concerned with how you are around vehicles.”

“Wait, you speak baneblade?”

“I DO speak baneblade…”

Mika plants a quick kiss before whipping around to grab a toolbox and sprinting off to Rex, her face noticeably red even from where you stand.

You grin, you won’t let her get away so easy next time, but you shouldn’t press the issue today.

The cannoness’s bike is all ready set to go, now you just have to figure out where to ride...

>>17387162

>>17387153
Aww yisss, time for heresy that would make the Emperor proud.

>>17387179
this is my orgasm face

>>17387153
Don't worry, I've got new years plans around 9ish with a few Armybros that just got back from Afghanistan so this thread will be a bit shorter, but will continue on into the next one.

[ ] Spy on what has the Orks acting so weird, you’ve never seen them like THIS.

[ ] Help the Tau girl find her brother.

[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle.

[ ] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer.

[ ] Head out to give the Necrons a proper round 2.

[ ] Dinner date with the Dark Eldar twins.

>>17387191
tau girl, all day, erryday

>>17387191
[x] Help the Blueberry find her brother.

>>17387191
[ ] Spy on what has the Orks acting so weird, you’ve never seen them like THIS.

let's finish the vanilla options

>>17387191
ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS!

>Please be Green skined Tsundere amazons.

>>17387225

Miinnnddd bullleettssss

>>17387236

>>17387225
Its gonna happen.

[x] Spy on what has the Orks acting so weird, you’ve never seen them like THIS.

Orks…

From the moment you first saw one, you developed a distaste for Orks. It could be due to the fact the first Ork you ever saw nearly chopped you to pieces, but you digress…

Never in all your time though, have you seen the Orks acting so damn bizarre. For fucks sake, the skull showed you footage of Orks BATHING.

Now watching from a relatively safe distance through your binoculars, you swear they have put on their Sunday best… The sight of an Ork in a peacoat, albeit one several sizes too small, severely unnerves you.

“Something just ain’t fuckin right…” You mumble to yourself.
Two boyz are helping a nob with a tie, they themselves already crammed into hideous mustard yellow suits.

You watch in abject horror as a gretchin walks out of a nearby trukk, wearing a no-shit frilly white dress. Even more terrifying, the Orks gathered around begin to bow politely to the gretchin… Who courtesies back at them… What the fuck?

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you it’s rude to spy?” A quiet, dignified voice inquires.

“Ahh! Fucking ghost voices get out of my head!” You roll to your right, clawing at your temples, before you realize the voice wasn’t in your mind. Too much warp shit might have you a bit paranoid.

Turning slowly, you swallow hard at the sight.

A lone figure, staring you in the face from but feet away.
…The white frilly dress accentuating her exquisite full breasts. Green breasts.

“Oh Emprah if you are going to breast I MEAN, eat me, please kill me first.”

The Ork girl gives you a quizzical look and tilts her head slightly.

“Also why don’t you speak…Orky?”

She smiles, blue eyes gleaming in the sun.

“WOT? CHU MEAN MOOAR LIKE DIS DEN EH? DIS ‘OW CHU WANT ME TA SPEAK TA YA HUMIE?”

You reel back quickly.

“No! NO. Please go back to the first way.”

She snorts with laughter before giving you a more scrutinizing look.

“You don’t look like a beakie, but you are very brave to be out here alone and so lightly… Armed.” She toys with your mechanical bits absent mindedly with her left foot.

“Yeah well, didn’t have much choice about that. I don’t need a lot of weaponry anyways.” You aren’t sure why you are telling her this, but you don’t think she is going to kill you… Probably.

“Also I picked the hat over a bigger gun.” You add as you stand up. You are fairly tall, but she has you beat by a few inches. Though it could just be her heels.

She looks thoughtfully at your Commisar hat and after a few moments nods approvingly.

“It is a pretty nice hat.”

“Damn right it is.” You reply as you brush off your clothes a bit.

You can’t help but notice, in stark contrast to the other Orks, this particular one is quite beautiful. And Female. Her full pink lips flaunt a light playful smile that makes your heart flutter. Her skin looks incredibly soft despite a more athletic frame. She definitely works out, but from what you can see it must just mean she is lean and sexy underneath that dress. Even through the frills you can make out her hourglass figure.

[ ] Be polite and ask her name

[ ] Inquire as to why the Orks are acting so damn strange all of a sudden

[ ] Excuse yourself before she decides she would rather adorn her choppa with your pelvis than answer your questions

Gentlemax

>>17387304
[X] Inquire as to why the Orks are acting so damn strange all of a sudden

[ ] Inquire as to why the Orks are acting so damn strange all of a sudden

>>17387304
[x] Polite
Lets be suave all up in this.

[x] Be polite and ask her name

>>17387304
[ ] Be polite and ask her name
And bow

“So what is your name? I’ll admit this is the longest conversation I’ve had with an Ork.”

The girl laughs, her brown hair blowing in the wind.

“Dakkaren, my dad isn’t exactly original when it comes to stuff like that.”

“Alright, well… How should I put this…” You put on your best thinking pose.

“Why are the Orkz acting like a buncha gitz?” She finishes for you.

“Yes, that.”

The Ork girl smiles.

“Well, you are about to find out.”

You don’t know how you missed the heavy footfalls, but the loud breathing behind you makes you groan as you turn around.

A massive Ork is grinning at you, two immense tusks jutting out of his lower jaw.

“Hahaha, wotz dis den? Find ya a ‘umie playfing did ya Dakkaren?”

Before you can move, he’s grabbed you around the torso with his gigantic power klaw. He brings you up to his face, looking you over.

“Oh daddy, he’s just curious is all…” The Ork girl laughs.

The warboss squeezes you even harder.

“You isn’t tryin ta hurt mah wittle pwincess is ya? Imma krump ya good fer dat.” You can’t even breath as his klaw tightens further.

“No… Sir…” You gasp.

His grip loosens a bit, but only enough for you to barely breath.

“As a matta ah principal, I usually jus get stompy wif ‘umies…”

The power klaw loosens enough for you to fall to the ground, clutching at your sides as you gasp for air. You aren’t going to be able to avoid that massive foot coming down on you.

rolled 16 = 16

>>17387436
well that sucks?
Might as well just roll

>>17387462
That was lucky, but please don't roll. Emperor damn us if we roll another one...

>>17387436
>>17387470
>You aren’t going to be able to avoid that massive foot coming down on you.

I Dunno, it's not like i really cold do anything

>>17387476
True. Then what, the roll was for how deep a crater our body would make when squished?

Can we get Nurgle involved in this somehow?

>>17387462

“Hold on, don’t kill him yet.” Dakkaren puts out a hand and stops the warboss despite the fact that it looks like he could crush her with a nasty look.

“Iz you sure ‘bout dat?” The warboss looks a bit disappointed.

It is at that moment that you realize something.

The warboss is wearing a black suit, or at least a very Orkish attempt at one, over his armor.

The Ork girl nods.

“Well, youz da prettiest you iz…” The warboss beams, and lowers his leg.

“T-thanks for the save?” You ask the Ork girl.

“Well, we’ll see if it was worth it. I may be the princess but I’m not really the boss.” She giggles.

“Also, please call me Karen. It sounds a bit more civilized.”

Before you can answer, the warboss grabs you again and holds you above his head.

“C’mon humie, wez got fings we need ta git dun.”

The two start down toward the other Orkz, with you unable to escape the clutches of the warboss.

“While I’m up here, mind explaining to me how you guys made a girl? …Did you loot her…?”

“Hah!” The warboss snaps.

“I lost me arm in a roight good fight wif some beakies dat got into me ship. Grots left it and soon nuff dis one here popped up.” He smiles down lovingly at Karen. You didn’t think an Ork face was capable of such a thing.

>>…Did you loot her…?”
xD

Papa-N, I'd like you to look at this:

>Spider thread on /v/ yesterday.
>Find out about wandering spider
>Venom gives you a boner
>A painful boner
>Your boner could break for ever because of this spider
> Brazil confirmed for worse than Australia.
>Huehuehuehuehuehue

ImJustSaiyan.jpg

“Err… I didn’t think Orks could pop up as anything but… While… Orks?”

The warboss snorts at your comment.

“I told da grots ta jus git rid a da lot of em, didn’t need ah buncha new boyz poppin up on mah ship. Dis one ‘ere got roight krumpy wif dem, stole a choppa, an cut off mah toe.” He holds up his foot and smiles down at it.

“It wuz den dat I knew, dis one ‘ere was roight killy.”

“Oh daddy, you’re embarrassing me.” Karen punches his shoulder and the warboss laughs.

“So let me get this straight, she grew out of your arm, killed a few grots, and became the princess…?”

“Roight.”

“Well, fair enough I guess. Anyways, mind letting me go now?”

The warboss laughs and sneers up at you.

“Let ya go? Ya isn’t da boss if ya let ‘umies go.” He chuckles, waving you around a little bit.

“Err… Karen. Mind if you tell me what’s going to happen?”
The Ork girl shrugs.

“Well, if you can best daddy here in one on one combat you might be released, maybe.”

…That isn’t very reassuring.

There are now Orks looking curiously at you as the warboss carries you through the crowd. One tries to take a swing at you but the warboss knocks him aside with the power klaw carrying you.

“OI! YOU GITZ BACK OFF, DIS ONE IS MINE!” He roars, swinging you around in front of him, which is very painful.

He holds you back in front of his face, looking at you hungrily.

“Now den ‘umie, you an I is gon ‘ave sum fun…”

As he sets you down, you notice a wall of weaponry.

[ ] Get Shooty

[ ] Get Choppy

[ ] Get Krumpin

[ ] Start Rokkin ya git

>>17387542
Sorry brah, as a brazillian i can safely say this only happens on places like the Amazon Forest amd the Atlantic Forest(Which is pretty much destroyed).
So really only people upnorth have to worry bout them spiders

>>17387542
>spider
>venom gives you a boner
>thatismyfetish.jpeg

>>17387617
[ ] Start Rokkin ya git

This is a dumb question

[X] Start Rokkin ya git

It's really the only way.

>[X] Start Rokkin ya git

THE ONLY REAL WAY TO RESPOND BEING SURROUNDED BY ORKS!

argh, reading orky always makes my brain accidentally.
what does "krumpin" mean?

>>17387654
A Axe i think

>>17387654
SMASH THINGS GOOD!

>>17387617
[X] Start Rokkin ya git

[x] Start Rokkin ya git

>>17387654
I've always thought it just meant a beating, generally with a fist/klaw

Slowly you reach out and pick up a weapon.

Well, not exactly a weapon.

The guitar in your hands is heavy, and looks to be made almost entirely out of metal looted from guitars, various tanks, and you even recognize a bit of Imperial coffee maker.

The warboss chuckles from behind you.

“Now dats an intraesting choice dat iz.” He reaches out with his power klaw and grabs a massive guitar in the shape of an axe with what looks like flamers poking out the side of it and a chainsword for a neck.

“Get me mah rokkin arm ya grots!” He fires several rounds from his triple linked autocannon right arm, mostly at the feet of a few nearby boyz but a few rounds hit them in the legs.

A few seconds later, a Mekboy is busying himself attaching something else that you can’t see.

You finger the guitar strings nervously. This isn’t the first time you’ve played one, Helena made you learn so you could play while she sang. But that was a long time ago.

The warboss leaves into the crowd, and you didn’t get a chance to see what they attached in replacement of his autocannons.

That is, until a massive stage is illuminated to your right, to the roar of the Orkz.

The warboss lumbers out, absolutely shredding on the guitar.

“DIS ‘UMIE ‘ERE FINKS EH CAN OUTROKK DA WARBOSS, WAT CHU BOYZ TINK A DAT?!”

The crowd roars furiously at his words.

Grinning, the warboss increase his speed. Those are some fucking tasty riffs. You feel a knot in your stomach.

You can see what’s replaced his arm now, it looks almost like an ogryn arm really. From here, you can barely read the tattoo on the side of it.

“V. Halen”

The warboss raises his arm high above his head, clutching the guitar in his power klaw. His song begins.

>>17387714
>“V. Halen”

Oh Shit

That is problematic, yes good sir. But we have a flamer to use for stage effects. And possibly Doomrider.

>>17387714
Do some more bear leaves, call Doomrider for backup, and ROCK LIKE WE HAVE NEVE ROCKED BEFORE!

What follows is likely the Orkiest thing you’ve ever witnessed.
The warboss is absolutely tearing up the guitar, his power klaw somehow incredibly dexterious as it flies over the neck. You can’t really understand the vocals though, most of which consists of varying lengths of “Waaaggh!!!”

However the crowd seems to be absolutely eating it up, driving them into some kind of frenzy of swinging choppas and flashing shootas.

The warboss seems spurred on by this, and is swinging the guitar around like an axe even as he continues to play. The crowd tosses an unlucky grot onto the stage and the boss dives into an even harder solo even as the teeth of the guitar neck sever the grots head.

After what seems like ten minutes, and the final eardrum shattering guitar tapping solo, the warboss’s song ends in a blaze of flamers.

The boyz around you immediately start cheering for an encore, but the warboss holds up his hand.

“I’ll give ya gits moar afta dis ‘umie.”

Very suddenly you are snatched up by the crowd, who drag you forward and onto the stage, tossing you up onto the riveted metal surface.

You turn around, squinting against the massive floodlights.
The biggest crowd you and Helena ever played was maybe two, three hundred people.

There are at least five or so thousand Orks screaming in this crowd.

Roll for rock power.

>>17387714
Time to fuckin rock FOR THE IMPERIUM!

GO

rolled 9 = 9

>Roll for rock power.
FOR THE THE EMPEROR

rolled 6 = 6

>>17387790
I'm Scared

rolled 9 = 9

>>17387809
fuck

rolled 3 = 3

Here we go

rolled 13 = 13

>>17387808
>FOR THE THE EMPEROR
>THE THE
D'oh.

REROLL FOR THE EMPEROR

rolled 14 = 14

did we get a 1 yet?

rolled 14 = 14

GIVE IT UP FOR DECARUS

rolled 20 = 20

>>17387835
Not yet.

rolled 17 = 17

>>17387790
LET'S ROCK!!!

>>17387841
THE EMPEROR HAS SMILED UPON US

rolled 10 = 10

>>17387789
DO THIS

rolled 19 = 19

>>17387841
Now i'm going to ruin this roll

we got a 20 before we got a 1

NO ONE ELSE ROLL

>>17387882
you are a lucky asshole

You start off slow as your hands get used to the massive guitar. You’ve got a song in mind, one of the few you ever did any vocals for. An ancient Terra relic, but a damn fine tune. Too bad you are going to have to make this damn Orky if you have any chance of pulling it off.

As you become more used to the feeling, you are ready.
The Orks hang on the silence between bursts of guitar.
One final gasp of air…

“Bosses gathered in their massesssss!!!”

“Just like Wyches at black masses!”

“Orky minds that plot destruction!”

“Weirdboys of Mork’s construction!”

“In the fields da boyz is looting!”

“As the waaagh squig keeps turning!”

“Death and hatred to mankind!”

“Poisoning their brainwashed minds…”

“Oh Gork yeah!”

The Orks go nuts.

Gunfire erupts through the crowd as they scream, slamming their choppers into the ground or at each other and screaming their warcry.

You aren’t sure how to interpret this, but you don’t stop, your fingers loosening up and starting to feel good.

A burst of warp energy near you, and Doomrider steps forth even as he picks up the song and continues with the rhythm portions.

“Politicians hide themselves away!”

“They only started the waaggh!”

“Why should they go out to fight?”

“They leave that all to the boyz!”

Doomrider is shredding right alongside you, and you are really going to owe him one after this.

“Time will tell on their power klaws.”

“Making waagh just for fun.”

“Treating boyz just like pawns in chess.”

“Wait ‘til their big stompah comes.”

“Yeah!”

You can feel the rock flowing through you now as you and Doomrider synch together perfectly. You didn’t know he played guitar, but he does so exceptionally. In reality he’s probably way better than you are.

>>17387947

Yes. YES.

“Now in darkness ‘ctan stops turning!”

“Ashes where the bodies burning.”

“No more war squigs have the power.”

“Hand of Mork has struck the hour.”

“Day of judgment Gork is calling!”

“On their knees the grots are crawling.”

“Begging nobs for their sins.”

“Tzeentch laughing spreads her wings.”

“Oh Gork yeah!”

Holy shit, relief washes through you as you and Doomrider start into the final guitar portions. Your heart is racing, and despite the fear, you somehow enjoyed that.

You notice the warboss yelling along with the rest of the Orks, though whether or not it's a "I'm going to kill you for beating me" yell, you can't yet be sure.

As the song finishes, Doomrider tosses you a quick salute before stepping back into a warp hole and vanishing.

After the last blast of guitar reverberates across the makeshift stadium, the crowd falls silent.

>>17387955
This is good, and you should feel good for it.

>>17387955
Yes...YES.

>Doomrider
>not on drums

Why Papa-N, why.

Also 00:02 1/1/2012 find Heretical Love thread

2012willbeagoodyear.jpg

rolled 2 = 2

>>17387972
Awesome.
You know.
i'm feeling that in the end we will have to Battle Doomrider
One last time

>>17387972

>>17387993
Thank RNG that's not a 1.

>>17387993
why.jpeg

>no nat1
>damn, you almost did the hokey pokey for a crowd of battle thirsty Orks

The crowd parts, and the warboss hops back on stage, eyeing you.

“Dat wuz…”

He snatches you up in his klaw yet again.

“DA ORKIEST FING I’VE EVAH HEARD!” He yells, raising you over his head.

The Orks in the crowd lose it.

“Waaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!” They scream up at him.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” He returns.

With that he drops you and leaps down into the Orks below the stage and starts crowdsurfing.

They scream their warcry even louder as they rush in one massive mob out of the area, waving choppas and firing everything they’ve got. Several split off and hop into various vehicles, including a stompa, and follow the rest of the Orks.
This leaves you almost alone inside the massive stadium.

Karen claps and cheers up at you.

“Err… Where did they all go?”

“To go fight something, where else?” Karen says as she shoots her thong up at you like a rubberband.

Papa-N, I honestly hope you're writing a troll post up now. I want to start 2012 with a laugh.

>>17388038

>>17388041
DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!

AAAAAAAaaaannd DOOMRIDER is long gone? aww... i wanted some DP :{ well he has bigger, better and more pleasurable fishes to fry.

You stand on the stage meekly.

"I-I k-kissed a girl and I..."

But the crowd of Orks cut you off as they furiously roar and charge the stage.

They grab you and haul you away, the warboss and daughter looking at you disgustedly.

Finally, they toss you roughly inside a hut.

The first thing you notice is the twenty or so naked nobs.

The second is a looted video camera.

"Um... Whats going on?" You finally ask.

The cameraboy looks up.

"We'ze shootin poor wittle white boy seventeen 'fousand, you'z da star."

I want Max to [REDACTED] cultist-chan~

rolled 8 = 8

>>17388080
>"I-I k-kissed a girl and I..."
Euri.jpg
Hey, at atleast the song is catchy
>"We'ze shootin poor wittle white boy seventeen 'fousand, you'z da star."
Oh my god

>>17388080
>>17388102
OH GOD

>>17388102
whycan'tyoupeopleneverlearn.gif

>>17388080
good thing nobz dont have genitalia.

>>17388115
Yourmindisnotready.png

They shove you roughly onto a nearby bed, you are powerless against their rippling green muscles.

"Waagh, wut iz we gon do to 'im on dis bed boss?"

They are stroking themselves as they wait.

You try to activate your plasma rifle arm, but a nob just grabs you around the arm and holds the hatch shut.

"Oi, I'mma let you finish 'umie." He grins.

"But dis gon be da greatest video ah all time..."

>>17388111
>whycan'tyoupeopleNeverlearn
>neverlearn
That's the opposite of discouraging. Also I suspect a small but vocal segment of the audience likes the derail sections.

rolled 11 = 11

>>17388127
God damnit, Meme speaking Orks.
The worst kind

rolled 6 = 6

>>17388158
1d20 for inabillity to not roll

The nobs close in, grinning ear to ear, until the largest of the bunch shoves them all aside.

"Not so fast ya grots, Iz da biggest so I gits 'im first!"

He grabs you by the hips and flips you over roughly.

"I've been waitin ta try dis out..." A Mekboy chuckles as he revs some kind of gasoline powered monstrosity from behind you.

"You cant escape mah big dakka, Iz goona enjoy it inside ya 'eavy arma..."

You gulp as you feel something long, thick, and warm slap down and rest on your ass...

>>17388038
>>17387972
>>17387955
>>17387947
YES

>>17388173
OH GOOOOOOOOOOOOD

The thong hits you in the face, and you grab it before it falls. Pink with frills. On an Ork… Really?

Karen laughs and jumps excitedly.

“Encore! Encore!” She yells.

“Eh, do you really want one? I’m pretty beat…”

“Boo!” She cups her hands.

“That thong is worth at least ONE song!” She hounds you.

“Really?” You heckle, holding it up and giving it a comically curious look.

“If you don’t play me a song, I’m taking it back…”

Well, what should you play the Ork princess for an encore?

rolled 8 = 8

>>17388200
Winds of Change.
Always

>>17388200
What would an Ork princess want to hear?
Hmmmm.

>>17388200
Stairway to Terra

>>17388200
Wonderwall, no woman can resist it

rolled 13 = 13

How 'bout dis?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55nAwmVLQSk
rollan for why not.

"Someone to Love"

Oh, here we go.

>>17388200
Thunderhorse

>>17388227
I second this.

>>17388247
Well, now I have to play Dorf Fortress.

And the next update looks sweet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40APOPP455w

>>17388247
but think about Maxs !!fingers!!

>so many good songs

damn it...

rolled 15 = 15

>>17388278
Guys, the name of the song is Karen, it can't be more fitting than this

rolled 9 = 9

Winds of change -1
Got you where I want you -2
Stairway to terra – 3
Wonderwall -4
Cliffs of dover/cadia -5
Someone to love -6
Thunderhorse -7
Aerosmith – 8
Catachan fortress -9
Karen -10

rolled 13 = 13

>>17388311
Catachan Fortress
oh well

>>17387115

>we are doing this one tethered to my droid.

Imagine if someone living in the early 80's read that sentence and knew it came from 2012.

rolled 5 = 5

>>17388311
guess its dorf fort remake unless there is some kind of consensus?

>>17388326
It doesn't feel "romantic" enough for me. But anyway, the Dice gods have spoken

>>17388321
But Uncle Owen, I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!

Isn't that an instrumental? Where're the panty-melting soulful lyrics about heartbreak and loss?

It's just not right for the moment.

rolled 1 = 1

>>17388326
I'm okay with Cliffs of Dover though

>>17388352
Welp, that went well

rolled 1 = 1

>>17388352
god damn it man

>>17388359
>>17388352
It's OK, you're rolling for song.
>>17388311

>>17388359
... No... breaks...

>>17388359
>>17388352

>>17388365
I'm completely okay with Winds of Change

rolled 11 = 11

>>17388374
I follow the Commissar
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change
An August summer night
Guardsmen passing by
Listening to the wind of change
The world is closing in
Did you ever think
That we could be so close, like lovers
The future's in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the wind of change
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change

I really like the idea of 'Stairway to Terra'. It's a great 'we're about to fuck' song. But I am the one who suggested it, so what the fuck do I know.

In the spirit of >>17388380 let's just sing The Itsy-Bitsy Spider or something and get this done.

>>17388399
not at all orky imho. :[

>against fthink
captcha thinks it's against this.

>>17387654

I always imagine a tin can crumpling up or something, and doing that to squishies.

rolled 1 = 1

>>17388419
Well fuck this shit.
Just rock something

>>17388409
meh, as the person who suggested Dorffortress: sure, let's.

You dive right into a song from your youth.

It’s an old one that you once witnessed playing on an ancient Terra computer system that the Admech had been working on.

They were busy with their litanies of “work you piece of shit, fucking machine spirits ugh…” while doing the rhythmic dick slapping massage, when the computer fired to life.

It’s quite an intricate song, and pretty tiring. You only manage to play half of it before Karen looks a bit bored.

“Well, let’s try this!” You shout, breaking immediately into “Cliffs of Cadia”.

Only your fingers completely flub it and both of you wince as the amps whine in protest.

“Well, that didn’t go as planned…”

“Maybe you’re tired after those songs?” Karen asks.

You’ve been holding back your secret weapon, but it might be time. It’s never failed you before after all, you are just going to have to change up some lyrics…

“Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the Ork girls are pretty.”

“Take me home~”

You repeat the chorus.

“Just an urchin liven under the streets”

“It’s a hive world that’s tough to beat.”

“I’m your Commissar so buy me something to eat.”

“Creed’ll pay you at another time.”

“Now get your ass back in line!”

>>17388428
GOOD WORK! GOOD FUCKING WORK!

>>17388428
NO BREAKS, AT ALL. SRSLY.

>>17388430
YES. AGAIN.

>>17388430
MFW i suggested both cadia and !!song_game.ogg!!

rolled 2 = 2

>>17388442
>>17388454
calm the fuck down you two.
It's working it isn't

>>17388478
why do you taunt us so?

>>17388430
> feels good man

“Rags to thrones or so they say”

“Ya gotta keep pushing for emprah and fame”

“It’s all a gamble when it’s just a game”

“Ya treat it like a heretical crime”

“Everybody’s doin’ the time!”


“Strapped in the chair of the city’s purge chamber”

“Why I’m here I can’t quite remember”

“The Apothecary general says its hazardous to breathe”

“I’d have another cigar but I can’t see”

“Tell me who you’re gonna believe!”

Karen is dancing along, well, you think it’s a dance anyways. Do Orks dance?

Just before you can continue into the next set of lyrics, something flies into your mouth and you grab your throat.
Coughing hard, you pound on your chest as you realize you are choking on whatever it was.

Karen jumps up on stage, raises a choppa over her head, and smacks your back with the flat of it.

The blow knocks whatever it was loose and it goes flying out of your mouth.

“Let’s play again sometime onii-chan!” The twenty legged hairy flying centipede calls out to you as it flies away.

"Nice end to the song..." Karen trolls you as you gasp for air and look around for something to drink to get the feeling of small hairs out of your throat

>>17388510

>>17388529

This is my reaction face to pretty much every time Papa-N trolls us.

>>17388510
>its a gif.

rolled 12 = 12

>>17388510
>Let’s play again sometime onii-chan!

Oh man, i lost it here

At least max didn't bite its head off...

>captcha: wtheyp trolled

She hands you a bottle of something dark red, and you quickly take a drink.

It’s warm…

“Wut is that?” You ask without swallowing.

“Squiggoth blood.”

“PPPPFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!” It sprays out of your mouth.

“Not good?”

You use your sleeve to clean off your tongue.

“Not for me.”

She laughs at you as she hands you another bottle, this one water, which you quickly slam.

“Well, I liked it until that last bit.” She giggles as you set the guitar aside and lay down on the stage.

“It’s been a long time since I played anything.” You tell her about the humble band you and Helena had together. She listens fairly intently, you didn’t think an Ork could have that kind of attention span.

“So what’s your story? How is it, being the princess and all?”

Karen lays down next to you, hands under her head and legs crossed. Her foot bounces a bit as she thinks.

“It’s ok, I guess. It can be a lot of fun, but it’s also a bit depressing to be the smartest one in the group sometimes.”

“I can imagine. Well, no I really can’t, but I can sympathize.”

Karen extends her arms out as though reaching into the sky.

“There are a lot of things I like, but what I love most is getting to travel around the stars.” She says dreamily.

>>17388596
>Karen lays down next to you, hands under her head and legs crossed. Her foot bounces a bit as she thinks.
She gave us her panties. Lets sit down and see how much we can see.

>>17388622
So you're going to shoot for being pervy and blowing your chances instead of actually getting in good with her?

> “Well, I liked it until that last bit.” She giggles as you set the guitar aside and lay down on the stage.

> as you lay down on the stage

>>17388642
aih hdon' chee dhe prohblhehm, officher..?
TRAINS

>>17388642
>? Did I dun goof somewhere?

You contemplate that. It was kind of the reason you joined the guard. Well, that and the court order…

“Now that I can understand, a bit. Still though, it has to be weird for you I would think.”

Karen looks over at you, her face lit by the stage light.

“…Sometimes. Daddy’s great though, and most of the rest of them like me now. It was tougher early on, I got picked on a lot for being so small and girly.”

“Hmm… That had to be hard on you.”

The two of you lay there for several long minutes.

“Can I have my thong back by the way?”

“Nah.”

“Please!”

“While, I guess if I have to…” You hand it back to her.

She stands up and lifts a leg as she hikes up her dress to put it on. You catch a brief glimpse of her ass, and wonder to yourself if it’s the most heretical thing you’ve seen while on the planet. You wonder if she shaves her legs, or if they are just smooth like that, you don’t think Orks are naturally too hairy.

>>17388664
THIS? The most Heretical?
Didn't we go to a CHAOS PARTY and sleep with not one, nor two, BUT THREE DEMONETTES?

>>17388664
was pointing out to
>>17388622
that Max was already down, forgot to put the (arrow)(postnumber)

my bad. you're good

>>17388686
Well, that was in the warp. He said "most heretical thing you've seen while on the planet".

>>17388664
No, Daemonettes sre inherently the most hetetical thing we can and have done.

also orks are infact completly hairless, any hair they have are hair squigs

Orks don't have ANY hair.

In fact, the top knots you see on some orks are actually hair squigs

Hey hey, we should show off our arm guns somehow. Orks like Dakka, and the flamer got the Sisters all wet, so maybe the plasma gun (being the biggest and loudest) will get the Ork all hot an bothered.

>>17387115
And once again, late for the party.

Thanks for using my draw, Papa-N! Is quite honored, I is.

Okay, now taking request for this quest. Any takers?

>>17388710

Big E and Max surfing the Pleasure Wave.

>>17388710
Out new Orky Warboss Chum, rocking out with Max. Karen in the background shooting thongs.

>>17388710
Kaleshi wearing hat-chan.

Do it, for the love of all that is heretical, please do it.

>>17388710
necron riding a dreadnaught chasing a tyranid.

>>17388710
I'm stoaked that you drew it, I've got it tiled across as my background actually lol.

Again, I'll leave the requests to everyone else.

“Ohohoho…” Karen says coyly.

“Uh! Err… Nice stage you’ve got here.” You quickly pretend to marvel at the Orkish construction.

She plants a foot on your chest and smiles down at you.

“Get a good look, human? Good thing daddy isn’t here, eyeing up his little princess…”

You break into a cold sweat.

“But I’ll forgive you if you take me squigback riding!” She shouts cheerily after an uncomfortable pause, and she grabs you by the arm and lifts you to your feet.

You follow her over into a very Orky stable, complete with guns jutting out of walls and several arms that end in saws of various sizes and types.

Inside, you find what you will be riding.

Squigs. Big ones.

“How are we even…” But she cuts off your train of thought as she slaps a saddle down on one of them.

“C’mon, saddle him up! He won’t bite! I think?”

You reach out and grab the saddle off the wall, before looking back at your own squig.

“That’s a good… err… squig. Let’s just slip this on and…”

The squig gnashes out at you as you get close, and you have to jump onto the gate of a stall to stay out of it’s teeth.
“Aww, I think he likes you!” Karen comments as she rides her squig over.

“Really!? REALLY!?”

“Well no, that one has always been kinda mean…”

This needs to be a game! This could be bigger than Slave Maker!

[ ] Ask for her help

[ ] Try to saddle it yourself

[ ] See if there is something else she would rather do

>>17388709
ACDC's BIG GUN

if i wasn't late to party woulda suggested that for the 'woo karen' song. i think it woulda worked

Something else she'd rather do

rolled 4 = 4

>>17388709
I think we MAY be dealing with a new kind of orc here, just sayin'

rollan for no breaks.

Got to transition over to my droid, GF is here and wants go go get food before the party but she's driving so I can do a bit of writing in the car.

>>17388722
>>17388723
>>17388730
Holy shit, so many.
Guys, I can only do one for this thread, you seen how fucking slow I was. Please pick one.
>>17388737
Thanks!

why dont you get her to ride your Squig instead?

>>17388742
Ask for her Advice or help, if squigs respect strength we might be able to intimidate it into obedience with our super arm by grabbing it's throat or something.

>>17388723
seconding

>>17388742
in a dress... riding on a saddle... this has potential!
if it's western saddle, see if her squig will ride double?

[x] See if there is something else she would rather do

[x] Try to saddle it yourself

Max doesn't need halp being awesome.

>>17388753
almost relieved
i've gotta run soon too
ALMOST. thisisnotatrueending is especially awesome in these circumstances

SATTLE THAT BITCH YOURSELF.

Squig or her, either is good.

[x] Get Orky; Dragon Punch that toothy bitch of a squig!

>>17388798

Saddle*

Hurr durr

[x] See if there is something else she would rather do

>>17388806
This

Oh please, if we "see if there's anything else she'd rather do" She'll drop us like an exploding Squig.
Punch the bastard with out MECHA ARM and saddle him ourselves.

>>17388822
it's almost as if you TRUST her
or are you heavily self-medicated at this time?

mm. true. Changin' a vote to DRAGON PUNCH from something else.

>>17388861

Damn it, I hate being late for heretical love, still, this is the awesomest HL thread by far... well aside from the Chaos Party

Ask for help. She'll feel dominant, which is what she's really wanted all along. Downside: we will end up wearing that saddle.

>>17388861
Welp, once he sees this . . .

>HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

>>17388842
I don't. Also 4 AM here. I just want to keep our hat safe. Also, besides blasting that squig with our plasma-arm, I don't see us-

fuck it, we do it.

changing vote to

>[X] Ask for her help

Falcon punch dat squig, and lets ride!

"Alright you round fuck, I'm going to ride you and you are going to like it."

The squig eyes you as you drop down, saddle in hand, and activate your flamer.

He goes to try and bite you, but a burst of flame in front of him causes the squig to stop.

"That's right, I am the boss!" You slap the saddle on its back and cinch it down.

"Ooh, good use of the flamer!" Karen flaps her hands excitedly.

"Ugh, this dress isn't going to work..." She shifts uncomfortably in the saddle.

"Go change, I'll wait."

Alright gents, sorry for ending here but I have to. We will continue the Orks next thread as well.

Have fun tonight and don't do anything I wouldn't do.

..actually that probably isn't good advice...

Next thread date/time is on Twitter.

Have a fun new years and I'll see you in 2012!

rolled 9 = 9

roll against the new year

>>17388845
o7
farewell deliverer of delicious !!text!!

>>17388908
Seeya Papa N, i will certainly be lookin foward to the next thread, plus happy new years

>>17388908
Awesome thread as always. Happy new years Papa.

>>17388908

>thread is over before I show up

Next time Papa-N

Next time...

Happy belated new years all

>>17390954
You too

“Are you sure about this, master?”

Abbadon turns away from his reading and glowers back at his subordinate.

“Is this doubt? Do you doubt me now? All of you?”

His minions shuffle slightly at his words, glancing around at each other.

“Oh, so its fear then is it? You fear this new god whilst the others mock us?”

Abbadon doesn’t wait any longer.

He begins the chant, the archaic scrawl through which he will regain his lost honor.

The lighting in the room flickers, as though shadows are moving across their paths.

“…Warmaster…” One of the marines protests, hefting his bolter.

Abbadon doesn’t cease now, instead increasing his pace.
His head feels woozy, but his body…

Oh yes, his body.

The shadows seem to be collecting around Abbadon, overlapping his armor as though stuck to him.

“How is that possi…Hurk?!” The marine talking is suddenly cut off as his flesh begins to ooze out of his armor.

“Master Abbadon! Help us!!!” Another pleads as he too begins to melt.

Abbadon ignores their screams, he is slave to this feeling.

The flesh of the now silent marines arcs in grotesque motions as they begin to form together as they creep ever closer to the warmaster.

“I will bring hell to this world, with you as my lord.” Abbadon smiles, having said all he needs to.

All at once, the flesh descends upon him.

Malal gazes into the mortal plane.

Today marks the start of his rise.

>>17393460

Aw, shit.

It's on like orky kong.

“Really?”

“Yeah, go for it, just don’t take too long.”

Karen ties her squig to a post and runs down the stables until she is out of sight.

Several minutes pass…

You sit anxiously on the saddle of your squig, who is still acting quite annoyed with you as he shifts his feet and clacks his jaw.

You wish Karen would hurry up…

“Alright, this is much better!” She shouts as she hops over a fence into the stable.

In place of her dress, she’s now wearing a set of armor that looks custom-fit. Segmented pauldrons complete with spikes, gauntlets and shin guards, and a form-fit breastplate. It looks like something that would normally be worn into battle.

“Why the armor?” You finally ask.

“Huh? Oh this?” Karen gives her own armor a look over.

“Well… You never know what you might run into out there.”

“Fair enough.” You shrug.

Karen laughs, but your ears are ringing.

You groan as you clutch your head, your vision blurry. It feels like the worst migraine you’ve ever had just stepped up its game.

“Max!?” Karen yells, dashing over to your side.

But you don’t hear her.

You can’t hear anything.

Finally the ringing subsides, and is replaced by another.
With a trembling hand you pull out your communicator and look down at the screen.

“Incoming Video Transmission from: Gary Oak”

You press accept.

Abbdon's sneers at you through the hologram.

>>17393460
>>17393542
You came back!

“How good of you to answer, I was beginning to think you were perhaps too incapacitated.”

You hear what he’s saying, but you have a hard time concentrating on it. Your head still aches. Though you do your best to try to conceal that fact, you have the feeling he knows.

“What do you want? I’m up for a rematch but we really should play something less one-sided this time.” You taunt him, trying to put on a strong front.

Abbadon chuckles, mockingly.

The hologram zooms out until you can see the whole of Abbadon’s torso.

Including the two new arms of rippling muscle wrapped in almost pure white flesh, as well as a new centerpiece on his front plate. A two-tone skull you don’t recognize.

“Oh but Commissar, the game has just begun.”

You cry out as your mind seems to split open, as though ripping apart from the inside in some desperate attempt to escape your cranium. You grab at your temples, your hands greeted by a warm slippery mess. Your ears are bleeding.

As you convulse in agony, the only thing you can hear is Abbadon’s voice.

Karen pulls you from the saddle, and wings the communicator across the stable, doing her best to try to help you.

Your body collapses as you lapse into unconsciousness.

The ladle Esh was holding slips from her fingers, clattering to the floor.

>>17393621
Overarching plot? In MY heretical quest?

Shit we've got so many allies by now the final battle is gonna be fucking awesome.

“Farseer, did you fe…”

“I did.” Esh cuts off the intrusion quickly, but doesn’t take her eyes off of her stew.

If only she could still focus on that, the perfection of the recepie she’s been working on. Esh bites her lip in anxiety, her vision losing focus. She's worried about Max, having felt him just bear the brunt of a very strong energy.

She turns her head to look out the viewscreen.

“What was that?” The other elder asks as he wrings his hands together.

“Malice…”


“Malice!?” Nurgle belches, before scowling and wiping off his mouth with his arm.

“You know you aren’t welcome here!” Tzeentch hisses, putting a hand on her bulging belly as the Emperor steps between her and the newcomer.

“Oh my friends… How long it has been….”

Khorne has had enough, he kicks over the table he was sitting at and hefts his axe.

“I’LL REND YOUR BONES TO DUST!” He howls, leaping forward and swinging his weapon in a fiery arc.

Malal cackles joyfully as he absorbs the blow.

“Yess… Yesss… Give it to me… Give me… More!”

Khorne keeps attacking madly, almost foaming at the mouth.

“That’s enough!” Slaanesh howls, one of its tentacles wrapping around Khornes arms and pulling him back.

“Have you forgotten you oaf? You can’t just slice him open.” Nurlge reprimands Khorne before turning back to Malal, his usually joyous face now a icy glare.

“It’s time to play… After so long… Its… MALICE’S TURN!”
Skeletal hands erupt from the forgotten god, whipping around the room.

The Emperor, having seen more than he cares to, steps forward with a thrust of his gleaming sword.

With a cackle, Malal’s form turns to shadow and disappears.
None of them say anything for several moments.

“Well this... Was not something I’d planned for…” Tzeentch finally admits, sitting back down.

>>17393621
we're going somewhere, but i don't know where

>>17393723
YES Its back!
Also, what would be a good place to post my headcanon of voice actors for this quest?

You finally peel your eyes back open, and wince at the pain.

“Easy now, don’t push yourself.” Karen says, pushing your head back onto her lap.

“What just happened?” You groan, rubbing your eyes.

The Ork princess shakes her head and looks out into the world beyond the stable.

“Something terrible, I fear.”

>now back to trying to trying to sleep off last night, next thread 1/2/12 at 4pm eastern. See you guys then.

>>17393766
Depends. Do you have Ian Holm in there?

>>17393773
>iknowthatfeelbro.jpeg
Sleep it off Papa, this is a much better ending to the thread.

>>17393766
Yeah.

>>17393773

> next thread 1/2/12 at 4pm eastern

That's the 2nd of January, 9PM GMT for those of us without horribly retarded calendar systems

>>17393773
THANKS!

>>17393801
Grow up, please.

>>17393790
then i say post in this thread

just re-watched alien. holm is sone of the awesome in this world

>>17393818
*some

>>17393766
you typing or gone?

>>17393853
2nd.

I'm pretty interested in this.

>>17393766
...This also interests me...

I'm here kinda, on my droid half asleep watching the Lions while my girlfriend makes based eggs and bacon.

Done writing for today, though.

WE MUST ENLIST THE AID OF GORK AND MORK

IT IS THE ONLY WAY

think he's gone...
try again next thread, i guess

As I read the confrontation between New Failbaddon and Max, I had a image form in my head, the classic confrontation image in the horizon.

Behind Failbaddon is nothing but a void of Blackness that bleed onto his new arms. The skull of Malice almost glowing on his breastplate.

Behind max is the 8 pointed star on top of a FUCKHUEG Imerpial Eagle. With various assorted lesser symbols hanging off of the star, an Eldar charm, a Tau Seal, Ork skull, DE vial of whateverthefuckgoesinvials.

It was a fuckawesome image.
Sadly my drawing skills are horrific.

Well guys, I think the next step after the Orks is we should befriend the Necron, and finally the 'nid we made "friends" with so long ago. Then, with our powers combined, we can summon Captain Terra! Or learn about the true meaning of friendship and that it is not bounded by race or religon, yada yada...

>>17393906
Max: Steven Bulm
Sister Lycheria: Tabitha St. Germain
Tau girl: Tara Strong
Tsunseer: Grey DeLisle
Deldar Twins: Venus Terezo
Khornette: Melissa Fahn
Techpriestess: Andrea Libman
Karen: Olivia D'Abo
Doomrider: Dr. Rockso
Abbadon: Christopher Sabat
Nurgle: John DiMaggio
Slaanesh: Tim Curray
Khorn: Keith David
Tzeentch: Nicole Oliver
Warboss: John DiMaggio
Emperor: Crush (Finding Nemo)

>>17394489
Most excellent selection, my good sir.

>>17394489