Praise the Emperor, im on time :O

HERETICAL LOVE FUCK YEAH.

Managed to get the 1d4chan page up-to-date today as well, so I no longer feel bad about not getting around to it.

Reading the last I thread, I realized that at the end we will have an epic battle with Abbadon.
And then, as we prepare to deal the final blow and end the greatest threat to the Imperium... The Partridges will swoop in and steal the glory

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

>>17403735
Oh Joy, I finally arrived on time for this, btw epic way to introduce Malal Papa

>>17403804
Thanks for doing the page, its a great thing to have.

The two of you work well into the night, replacing plates with too much damage, repairing wiring, adding that rokkit.

With a yawn you lay down on a wooden bench inside the Mek shop.

“Done already?” Karen teases.

“ah tareasd” You mumble incoherently, already falling asleep.

“Want the Dok to fix you something up so you can stay awake?”

“Please no…”

Karen giggles and turns back to her armor, continuing her work even as you drift off to sleep.

Several hours later you wake back up, groggily rubbing your eyes.

You realize Karen is carrying you in her arms.

“This feels backwards…”

“Oh hush up and go back to sleep.”

Finally she sets you on a relatively comfortable bed, and you pass out almost as soon as your head touches a pillow sewn crudely into the shape of a choppa.

Your dreams consist of annoying Helena by placing a few rubbers spiders around the inside of her tank. She hates spiders…

Something gives your shoulder a shake.

“You might want to wake up, the waagh party is coming back.”

You sit up with a yawn, stretching your arms above your head.

“Hmm… So?”

“Probably a bad idea to stick around here while they are still all riled up from a fight, it would be hard to get out of here once they return.”

You check your communicator, at least its morning.

Karen walks with you through the camp, keeping an eye out for any early birds.

Finally you both arrive at the edge of the makeshift Ork settlement.

“Well, this was by far my Orkiest day.” You yawn again, scratching your side, you need a shower.

“Mmm…” Karen mumbles, kicking the dirt and glancing up at you though you don’t see it.

“It was good to play again though, haven’t had a chance to do that in a while.”

A pair of hands grabs you somewhat roughly by the head, turning you around.

Karen’s face presses forward and in a split second your lips meet.

She’s aggressive about it, and despite that you are actually enjoying it.

Finally she pulls away, poking at her chin as she looks off in the distance.

“Err… Cool?” You ask, still not sure what really happened.

“Haha... Sorry… It’s just that I’ve always seen that in some of the looted movies we get, but I don’t really have any desire to kiss any of da boyz…”

You kissed an Ork... And you liked it?

A horn blast and clatter of shoota fire in the distance causes you both to look over toward the horizon. Even from here, you can make out the dust cloud.

“You’d better go.” Karen says, not looking away.

“Yeah. Um, you got some way I can contact you?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah!” She pulls out a mess of wires, gears, and riveted plating. You notice there is also a gun sticking out the side.

You give her your frequency and she gives you hers, though you have to interpret it over to something you can actually enter into your device.

With a final goodbye, you sprint off out of the camp, cutting a 90 degree away from the incoming Ork mob.

Even as you run, you think of something to do next.

[ ] Help the Tau girl find her brother.

[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle.

[ ] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer.

[ ] Head out to give the Necrons a proper round 2.

[ ] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins.

>>17403962
MIND BULLITZ

>>17403842
I think you knew it was going to happen before I even wrote it lol.

EXCELLENT MY MAN!
ROUND TWO! The hat demands it.

>You kissed an Ork... And you liked it?

This, boys and girls, is why we love Papa-N's writing.

>[x] Help the Tau girl find her brother.

We need more of her Greater Goods.
Also
>In b4 her brother is Faptau

>>17403962
[ ] Head out to give the Necrons a proper round 2.

We still have to handle that Pariah Girl

>>17404008
>>17403998

DO YOU NOT REMEMBER HOW BADLY THAT ENDED THE FIRST TIME

>>17403962
[x] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer.

>[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle

>>17404014
That's exactly why we're going back there.
Max do not surrender silly anon

>>17403735
Either
[ ] Help the Tau girl find her brother.
Since well we kinda fooled her into give us a BJ and should repay her for that
oooooooor
[ ] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer
We should prepare for the coming battle against Malal and Abaddon, the apparent non-incompitent.... plus i wanna see Max doing more Dragon shouts

GREATER GOOODS

>>17403962

Gotta kick that bitchass necron in the nuts.

>>17404014

We have a plasma cannon now though

rolled 4 = 4

I can't rightly decide, rolling d5 for it

>[1] Help the Tau girl find her brother.

>[2] Give your axe-murderer a jingle.

>[3] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer.

>[4] Head out to give the Necrons a proper round 2

>[5] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins.

[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle

Sweet, sweet Daemonette.. ass.. yeah.

>>17404034
Well, then
it's decided.

>>17403986
lol ya true dat

>>17404041
Welp, that works. Necron ass-whoopin' it is.
Let's show him what arm-chan is capable of.

rolled 2 = 2

>>17404034

I like the way you think bro-anon

>[1] Help the Tau girl find her brother.

>[2] Give your axe-murderer a jingle.

>[3] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer.

>[4] Head out to give the Necrons a proper round 2

>[5] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins.

[x] Help the Tau girl find her brother.

Since Necron-chan is still an unknown entity, she gets my vote.

First time didn't count.

[X] Give your axe-murderer a jingle.

[ ] mindbullet training with tsunseer

we have to prep for failbaddon

>>17404108
let it be Xeno!

I vote for her too

Help the Tau girl find her brother.

>>[ ] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer.
>>mfw on time for heretical love

+1 for Xeno!

But, only if she's in full Necron form.

>>17404155
still adorable

I vote for whatever is winning on the condition that its not tau.

>>17404034
Lolinecron-chan it is!

Necron Chan

Lets Kick Necron Ass and Chew Bubblegum.
Well... Find Bubblegum to chew, THEN kick shiny metal ass!

+1 Mind Bullets

Don't like that migraine from overuse

mindbullet training with tsunseer

we kind of need the practice, also she's worried about us from last thread

therlmu offspring
Shut it Captcha

Seems pretty even between Tsunseer and Necron-asskicking so far.

mindbullets. they will help us kick necron-ass later.

>>17404191

Yeah, but there's a bunch of stuff we still need to do, like give Kaleshi her Bloodbowl tickets for saving Hat-Chan, and going back to give the Necrons a righteous ass-whoopin'.

alright, tallying...

>>17404173
*wiggle wiggle*

>>17404206

Plus, Ailia's brother has been missing for about 10 threads now.

Poor greyskinned bastard.

Also my head-canon voice actors for this quest, in-case anyone missed it last time.

Max: Steven Bulm
Sister Lycheria: Tabitha St. Germain
Tau girl: Tara Strong
Tsunseer: Grey DeLisle
Deldar Twins: Venus Terezo
Khornette: Melissa Fahn
Techpriestess: Andrea Libman
Karen: Olivia D'Abo
Doomrider: Dr. Rockso
Abbadon: Christopher Sabat
Nurgle: John DiMaggio
Slaanesh: Tim Curray
Khorn: Keith David
Tzeentch: Nicole Oliver
Warboss: John DiMaggio
Emperor: Crush (Finding Nemo)

>>17404173

Inb4 one necron is basically Bender.

We should probably get to that Necron.

Maybe some day.

>>17404233
Please insert girder.

Looks like the necrons won by a single vote?

>>17404235

>>17404233

Hey there Sexy Mama, wanna kill all humans?

>>17404239
YEEESSSSSS

>>17404233

WE NEED A NECRON / BENDER BRO TO MAKE WISECRACKS AND SMOKE CIGARS

PAPA, LISTEN TO THIS MAN

Fuck year, Necrons!

we are so dead.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17403735/

All archived, so it'll auto-update. Vote up and whatnot.

>>17404255
Couldn't arm-chan fit that role?

Eh, I was leaning on either Daemonette or necron, doesn't bother me.

LETS DIVE INTO THIS, FUCK CONSEQUENCES!

Consequences being a second, Necron arm.

>>17404284

>Sentient robotic arm

>Making wisecracks and smoking cigars

Allofmythronegelt.jpg

this is going to be good.

You jump back onto your bike and rev it up, trying to put as much distance between you and the Orks as you can. Karen was fun, but you don’t like the idea of being around a bunch of blood thirsty Nobs who maybe still have a battle hard on.

…Can Orks even get a hard on?

You decide that, out of everything, is a question you never want answered.

The cannoness’s bike soars over the rough terrain, and you decide you will have to thank her for letting you borrow it when you get back.

Despite knowing you could return to somewhere of relative safety, for some reason you have the hunger for a bit of danger.

You cut the engine and coast as you approach the tomb, looking around wearily for any sign of the necron who almost gaussed you in the head after shooting up the flayed one.

The bike finally slows to a stop, and you’ve seen no sign of life. Or mechanical xeno monstrosities.

Quietly you slip off of the seat, the grass and leaves barely crunching underfoot.

You start to walk toward the mouth of the tomb, still looking around cautiously.

From what you remember, they taught you in training that a necron can take some serious punishment and keep going.
Your right hand rubs at your mechanical arm as you continue to stalk forward.

You hope if you do get into some kind of fight, it will be enough.

Peering down into the darkness inside the cave causes a knot to form inside your stomach. Is the flayed one who wore Doug’s corpse still down there?

Is it dead?

Something plants itself in the small of your back.

Before you can react, it boots you down into the tomb and you tumble down into the darkness. Steely mechanical laughter echoes along with you.

>>17404284
Alright, voting Bender Role go to arm.

The necrons took an arm from us, time to go back and show them our replacement. It comes with a vibrating finger.

>>17404284
THIS IS AN AMAZING IDEA.

>>17404231
Just for the sake of adding on to the list, i think Malal should be either Dee Bradley Baker or Frank Welker

>>17404300
Bring outplasma arm to get some additional light. The soft glow of plasma shall be our guide.

we should call mika and ask to borrow rex for this.

>>17404308
We should probably, you know, take one of theirs too. As repayment.
Oh dear god... What if OUR arm is still down there, just rotting??

>>17404324

Does Mika still have any of our stuff? Maybe the diodes? I'm sure Rex could pick up a scent on that.

>>17404328

We still don't know what those purified Eldar Souls did to us. I'm thinking the murderous-disembodied-hand scene from the Evil Dead

>>17404301
Seconding so hard.

>where is that Deus Ex pic of smoking a cigar and not asking for this and shopping "Eeeh, stop whining, ya meatbag." Bubble coming from the arm.

>>17404328
Our arm is lodged in Abbadons throat, awaiting removal by one of his minions.

>>17404334
since it all robofied, and the mechanicus, i'd figure they could track us through our vox frequency.

>>17404367

Well, not anymore it isn't. Don't know what happened to it after that.

>>17404362
as the Emperor's will made flesh as Space Marines,
it is our job to ensure that not only does the Emprah's children return to the flock, but that they do not stray again.

>>17404377
that feel when you post on the wrong tab

You are falling fast down the relatively steep incline, rolling end over end.

You stick out a foot to try and stop yourself, but it hits something hard and the pain reverberates through your entire leg and into your back.

All you can do is try to protect your head as you continue to slide and roll.

Finally you skid to a stop as the chamber levels out. You are bruised up from the fall, though thankfully it doesn’t feel like anything is broken.

You feel around, nothing seems out of place.

Still, you are winded hard. You wipe the dirt off your face and blink it out of your eyes. You also pull off your hat and brush him off.

As you pick yourself up from the ground, you hear something skitter in the darkness.

Scratch that, several things.

All at once, they rush you from all sides.

Flayed ones, dozens of them.

Including once again, the one wearing your best friend, now sporting several gauss burns on the flesh.

You activate your plasma gun, but it’s too late.

Several grab you in their bladed claws, pulling your arms back. Though they don’t cut into your flesh, they will if you struggle.

The flayed ones all look to the one wearing your friend, who paces in front of you as he looks you over.

You notice something else.

He seems to be wearing your arm. Well, the skin off of it anyways. You recognize your tattoo of your home world’s emblem on what used to be your forearm.

The flayed ones communicate in hisses and clicks, you don’t know what they are saying.

All at once, they close on you, surrounding you.

You wretch, gag, rotten flesh pressing in on you from all sides.

Energy crackles through the air, and you feel your stomach drop.

You vomit as they teleport you.

nothing ever good comes from fucking with necrons, when will you guys ever learn? Even if we find a horny necron that wants to fuck, it is still going to be a potentially fatal encounter.

>>17404383

I TOLD YOU FUCKERS THIS WASN'T GOING TO END WELL

>>17404383
We could hold it in at a party of everyone's greatest desires but a bunch of drippy skin snatchers porting us away makes us heave? God dammit it Max, get your shit together.

>>17404377
Maybe we could get one of those kickass sonic blasters in the process!

>>17404386

Out of curiosity, which choice isn't a potentially fatal encounter?

Because that doesn't sound like something I'd vote for.

>>17404397

>brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr

>>17404397
No but tyranid wrestling sounds cool.

are we still in vox range?

>>17404386
You do realize we have potentially wisecracking arm to take up that challenge?

>Out of curiosity, which choice isn't a potentially fatal encounter?

Finding the missing tau would be a lot less fatal than getting gang raped by rotting robots. To make things worse, one is wearing our bros skin so this could be possibly gay deranged robot gang rape.

Besides, Max the commissar of cool could potentially talk himself out of any dangerous situation involving xeno breasts. Not so with an army of mindless rotten automatons.

>>17404391
its different when they are wearing both max's best friend AND his own arm.

>>17404434

>Max, the commissar of cool

I love this title.

>>17404434

Before you forget, last time we messed around with Ailia we had to fight Tyranids. Papa-N hasn't hinted exactly why her brother needs help, but I doubt he's been petting bunnies and lost track of the time.

>>17404464

Yes but we also got a close-up of the Greater Goods, AND a blowjob.

The necrons took our arm and tried to rape us.

I THINK I KNOW WHICH SITUATION I'D PREFER

As your head stops spinning, you open your eyes, incredibly dizzy.

You wipe the puke off of your mouth, though the stench still clings to you it seems. The smell of rotten flesh, that is.

An icy cold hand suddenly clutches you by the throat and lifts you into the air. You swing at it, trying to break its grasp, but it doesn’t seem to relent.

Looking down, you notice a particularly large necron with lots of gold frills and extras hanging off of him. He seems to be grinning at you.

“Welcome, little flesh bag.”

You continue to struggle, but it doesn’t seem like much use. The necrons all around seem to be laughing at you, the flayed ones scraping their claws together as though hungry.

[ ] Play dead

[ ] Fus roh dah

[ ] Lasfinger

[x] Fus roh dah

Dragonshout, motherfucker!

>>17404484

>[x] Fus roh dah

As if there was ever going to be another option

>>17404484
WHEN IN DOUBT! FUS RO DAH!

[x]lasfinger

"BLAM! in the name of all that is stylish!"

Damnit guys, why did you choose necrons, of all the things, why necrons? Wasn't our first encounter a big enough hint that we (probably) couldn't win? Could have gone for actual xenos poontang and big ole greater goods, with some nice xenos ass to boot, but nooooooo, we just had to go for cold, robotic, metal, synthetic poontang instead

>>17404484
FUS!... DO RAH!

lasfinger! we aint got no mindbullet training, and if there is one thing a guardsman knows how to do, its las some motherfuckers.

Lasfinger

>>17404484
FUS RO DAH!!!

Psychic powers seems like the best bet against necrons.

[ ] Fus roh dah
worked the first time, so why not?

This hand of mine glows with an awesome power, it tells me to defeat you!

Eh, Forschroeder, sure.
Just remember guys, we bleed from the ears next time.

>>17404484

Fus roh DAH!

Oh god we just got taken home.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9w_lOGuB3Oc

>>17404509

Rolled a 1 at a critical juncture.

Could have happened with any choice, just happened to be necrons.

Don't like it, sacrifice more to the dice gods.

>>17404528
This. dragonshout just gives our psychic abilities away.
Laserfinger gets our point across.

>>17404553

No, we didn't roll just a 1.

We rolled many ones.

Then more ones.

In fact, I rolled such a natural 1, that my post actually ended in 001.

Lasfinger, don't want our head to explode due to untrained psyker heresy.

>>17404577
>so many bad rolls

lasfinger.

You gather up as much sanity as you can muster, focusing your mind.

With a glare you blast it out.

Several of the flayed ones beyond are thrown backwards, sailing end over end.

The necron holding you though…

His cape ruffles as if caught by a breeze.

He cackles squeezing harder.

You can’t even struggle now, your head on fire from the inside it seems. Your hands can only grab weakly at his.

“You are a tough one aren’t you, perhaps your face shall adorn the throne of Valgul. What an honor.”

He throws you aside and you collapse to the ground, grabbing at your throat as you gulp in air.

“I’m not done yet… Motherfucker.”

You stand up, doing your best to look tough despite the fact your brain feels like mush inside your skull. Your eyes feel wet and when you run a finger along one, you notice it gets soaked with blood.

Pulling your arm back, you prepare a punch that will break the heavens.

Or send you sailing off the platform you are on and into the vorpal nothing beyond.

1d20 for falcon punch

>>17404577
that was actually rather impressive that you managed to fail a roll that hard.

>appogre ask
why would they make an ogre app? And why would I want it to answer any of my questions? This is a terrible idea captcha.

rolled 11 = 11

>>17404609

rolled 15 = 15

>>17404609

rolled 11 = 11

>>17404609

rolled 18 = 18

>>17404609

>>17404614
>>17404596

It was a horrible moment.

rolled 9 = 9

>>17404609
Don't worry guys, I know kung-fu.

>>17404627

Superior technique!

rolled 10 = 10

>>17404609

rolled 7 = 7

>>17404609

Let's do this!

rolled 19 = 19

Come on, let's awaken our bender arm!

rolled 12 = 12

>>17404609

>>17404631
Ok that's it. Stop everyone else.

rolled 5 = 5

So it begins.

rolled 7 = 7

inevitable 1 time?

Lets not screw our chances.

>>17404658
>>17404665
Stop.
Fucking.
Rolling.

rolled 5 = 5

Faster than the speed of light

rolled 7 = 7

FALCON... PAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!

>>17404665
>>17404701
Double 7

rolled 14 = 14

>>17404707

"Bite my shiny metal elbow"

rolled 17 = 17

>>17404676
>People stop rolling quickly after a 20? This isn't the Heretical Love I know and love

>>17404729

We're learning, ever so slowly

>>17404729
Stop NOW! 17 is a good number.

Damn it... Now all I can think of with that damn flayed one is this image.

“Take this! My love, my anger, and all of my sorrow!” You put your everything into your mechanical arm as you drive it forward.

The necron lashes out with his own, and your fists meet in the air. It’s a metal on metal fisting competition.

Despite you pressing hard, with all of your might, your blows cancel each other out, leaving you both standing connected fist to fist.

The necron laughs, his mechanical skull shaking side to side.

You smirk.

“Shining finger, bitch.”

The las blast bores a hole right through the necron’s head.
The large mechanical body seems to falter, swaying unsteadily on its feet.

You sidestep out of the way as it comes crashing down.

You blow on your finger like the scene out of an ancient Terran film.

“Alright, who’s next?”

Only there are a lot of flayed ones here, none who seem to give the slightest care at their lord being dropped.

“Perhaps I shall try again?”

The necron lord pushes himself off of the ground, despite the damage, and starts getting to his feet.

[ ] Run

[ ] Keep fighting

[ ] Try to weasel your way out

rolled 18 = 18

>>17404749

but it's not as good as 20.

Keep fighting, of course.

>>17404752
KEEP FIGHTING.
NO RETREAT
NO SURRENDER
NO REMORSE

capcha PLASMA ijinks

.>>17404650
>>17404727
Here waiting to see if bender arm get's into story...

[ ] Run

take the better part of valour and GTFO

>>17404752
NOPE WEASELING

>>17404752
FIGHT

>>17404752

>[x] Keep fighting

IF HE DIES, JUST KILL HIM AGAIN.

SHOW HIM JUST HOW MANY BRAKES THE RAPE TRAIN DOESN'T HAVE.

>>17404752
Keep fighting, blast him with all of the hot plasma we can squeze out!

Keep fighting

OBTAIN VICTORY WITH THE PLASMAS!

Keep fighting!

Is it sad that I am cheering for the Necrons?

[x] make love not war

Run!

Flee you fools!

Yes Max is a badass but we need to fight on better terms than this.

>>17404752
[X] Keep fighting

We got our plasma cannon tuned up, right? Let's test it out.

>>17404752
>Options that involve not fighting.

Come on. Were originally guardsmen.

FIGHTAN TILL THE END. SHINE ALL THE LIGHT AT THE FUCKER!

>>17404752

[X] Try to weasel your way out

Super curious how you weasel away from necrons.

>>17404300
>…Can Orks even get a hard on?
Yes, but permanently. They get dead 'ard.

>>17404752
I'd say run but we're surrounded.
Keep fighting. Use that plasma.

I wonder if we could get da boyz and the shiney metal gits to fight each other. Do flayed ones like to wear ork skins or is it a strictly human-skin only fetish?

>>17404799

>Yes, but permanently. They get dead 'ard.

BA-DUM TISH

Arm personality:

[ ] HK-47

[ ] Bender

[ ] Marvin

[ ] David

[ ] T-800

>>17404790
I like your thinkin, the potential for a second robot arm is so high I can almost see it.

>>17404798
Not a clue.

rolled 20 = 20

>>17404806
MARVIN

POINT OF VIEW GUN, POINT OF VIEW GUUUNNN

>>17404806

>[x] Bender

Marvin is a close second.

>>17404806
Bender, obviously, why give other choices?

Let us fight to our last breath!

>>17404806
Bender and Hk-47!

>>17404806
>Bender and HK-47 are options
>I can only pick one
WHY DO YOU TORMENT US LIKE THIS!?!?

FUCKING HK-47!!!

>>17404806
>[ ] HK-47
>[ ] Bender
Oh, what choices you give us, Papa-N!
So difficult to choose!
But in the end, I want that assassination droid:
[X] HK-47

>>17404806
Marvin won until I realized you meant from Hitchhiker's Guide, not as in the one from Mars.

So Bender

>>17404806
YES!
[XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX]Bender. Only someone like he would understand our mission.

>>17404813

Noko rolls do not count, fool!

>>17404806
HK-47. He shall efficiently and courtesly kill our foes.

>>17404827
What if it had two personalities fighting for control?

>>17404832
And then I realised HK-47 is an option too.

GOD DAMN IT! I CAN'T DECIDE!

>>17404843

So it's schizophrenic now?

Jumping between a cigar-smoking, mysoginist kleptomaniac, and a cruel psychopath with a superiority complex?

[ HK47 ] no better personality for a gun arm then as assasin robot.

>>17404806
[x] Bender

>>17404806

MARVIN!

>>17404861
Hey that works too

>>17404861
Oh god...

I'm feeling sorry for the lolicron already.

>>17404806
Considering our arm is mostly WEAPONS I say HK-47. Because we want an arm that can fight.

>>17404861
Oh God that would be epic!

>>17404806

If I may offer another option...

>>17404891

>>17404861
Well, the arm WAS build around that one lady AI that we all so understand...

>[x] AchMOTHERFUCKINGkay-47

>>17404891

WHY DOES THIS EVEN EXIST

>>17404901

>I can only pick one

sounds like we need to lose another arm.

>>17404906
That would make our arm...

The son(s) of techpriestess and SlaDos?

>>17404924
Deal with it.

“Hey buddy, can we hurry this up? I’ve got some stuff I want to do.”

Your arm is talking to you.

“Statement: I say we ditch the meatbag. Did I say that out loud?”

Your arm is talking to itself?

“Hey, I like your style!” The first voice responds.

You don’t have time for this…

You activate the plasma gun and start firing as you dive out of the way as the necron swings his staff, the bladed end almost catching you.

“Suggestion: You’ve missed four shots, perhaps you should practice more.”

A flayed one’s bladed hand comes way too close to severing your other arm, and you knock it aside with your mechanical one before it can. You don’t want to be too mechanical. Though Mika might like it…

Plasma bolts sever arms and blast through flesh and plating of the flayed ones, but there are simply too many, and your arm is getting hot.

You keep firing, switching to your lasgun, as you back up.
The flayed ones are running at you, and you know you don’t have any way to fend off this many.

Three of them leap up at the same time, pouncing at you with claws ready to rend your flesh.

A simultaneous volley of gauss fire knocks them out of the air.
You whirl around just in time to see a line of Immortals, weapons blasting away.

They appear to be lead by a single pariah.

You recognize it...

>>17404806
HK and Bender, ftw.

also, fukkyear posting in a heretical love thread

T800

If we ever see Rex again, can it turn out he's actually being piloted by this fellow?

Pretty please?

Well, there aren't really too many options here for you...

[ ] Run toward the Pariah and Immortals

[ ] Take your chances with the flayed ones

[ ] Fight both groups

>>17404944
>>17404947
YES!

>>17404947
YESSSSSSS

VENGEANCE!

rolled 10 = 10

>>17404947

Seize the initiative that the surprise of their arrival has given you and charge!

[ ] Take your chances with the flayed ones

>>17404947

Jesus christ you actually did it

>>17404965

>[x] Run toward the Pariah and Immortals

They helped us before, might do again!

[ ] Run towards Pariah and Immortals

Enough with these creepy flayed ones.

Pariah here we come!

>>17404958

...some say he once parked a titan on the Imperial Palace, and that he thought the Eye of Terror was a sex position.

All we know is, he's called THE STIG.

Flee towards the Pariah

>>17404965
>[X] Run toward the Pariah and Immortals
I mean, at the very least it'll buy us some time to gtfo.

>>17404965
>>17404947
Murder the shit out of the flayed one with our arm and broskin. no exceptions

>>[X] Run toward the Pariah and Immortals

Cooooo-Bra! Reeee-TREAT!

>>17404947
Tell the guys to provide backup. It's 3 against a bunch of flayed ones, normal guard activity if there ever was one.

[x]Take changes

rolled 1 = 1

well fuck. since either way we are getting shot.


[ 1] Run toward the Pariah and Immortals

[2 ] Take your chances with the flayed ones

[ 3] Fight both groups

we'll get skinned and raped with the flayed ones.

last time we met the pariah, it tried to execute us, and only the partridges saved our punk ass.

if we fight both groups we'll end up as a red commissar coloured smear in the tomb...

[x] Run toward the Pariah and Immortals

>>17404965

Run to the hills.. err... Pariah!

>genomiss 154
What the heck, captcha?

>>17405018

Welp, you decided it.

[ ] RUN

there's always a fourth option

rolled 15 = 15

>>17404947
Nice.

oh and
[]Flayed one

[ ] Run toward the Pariah and Immortals
The enemy of my enemy is my friend, I guess?

>>17404965
Run toward the Pariah and Immortals

Thoe I'm pretty shure we'll end up mental scared by the whole, negative soul thing pariahs have/had.

>>17405018
kill yourself, not us you drag queen.

>>17405014
This.

Taking changes means rolling dice. Running away does not mean rolling dice.

Were guardsmen, the fishermen, the Commissar of cool.

btw, I gotta say: Really? This was a better idea then hanging out with Esh?
Warglebargle, indeed.

>>17405058

>Running away does not mean rolling dice

Yes it does. See: >>17404632 for why running is a bad idea.

its a little known fact that our robo-arm is battery powered, and those batteries are recharged by us almost getting killed.

>>17405059
Fishermen need to take revenge on things that don into their buddies skin before they can be satisfied with hanging out with Esh.

>>17405095
We're fishing for trouble. The most dangerous catch.

Well, as much as you don’t really trust ANY necron at the moment, the flayed ones are far from the bottom of the long list of shit you hate. A hate-list being something you picked up from a brief meeting in a bar with an Angry Marines Commissar.

Firing your lasgun as cover, you sprint over toward the newcomers.

You notice, as you run, that while they do keep up their rate of fire, they seem to be taking the utmost precaution to avoid hitting you.

Ducking between two towering Immortals, you skid to a stop but not in time.

You collide into the Pariah before you can change course.
“Ah…” She says, her voice sweet but robotic.

“I’ve been waiting for you my honey, I knew I’d find you!” She rubs her face into your own.

Well this is a bizarre scene.

You are in some kind of other dimension; or so you think, with necrons fighting necrons as you get loved up on by, of all things, another necron.

“Uhh… Do I know you?” You finally ask.

“Oh my sweetie is so funny. But the next time you run away from me I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF! YOU ARE MINE AND MINE ALONE, honey.”

Well, that sure calms you down…

>>17405114
I cannot believe I just read that.

>>17405132
Fuck...

Forgot to write that she grabs you around the middle so you can't get away.

>>17405095
Hmm.
Ok, I'm down.

>>17405132
SUPPRESSIVE FIRE!
THE MONOLITH!
We destroy that and this is over!

Necryandere. Great. just great.

>>17405132

>“Oh my sweetie is so funny. But the next time you run away from me I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF! YOU ARE MINE AND MINE ALONE, honey.”

Aw, shit.

Y'know, on second thought I think I would prefer to stick with the Flayed Ones.

>>17405132

this is gonna end well...

Oh god, yandere Pariah.

>>17405132
Now I have this in mind.....
So dead...

>>17405132

inb4 Heretek upgrades to our arm.

Can anyone say....Gauss Fingers?

>>17405114
"Aaaah, yes, dear viewers. Today, were taking our changes with the most intricate mimics of the whole galaxy, the flayed ones. Catching these bastards is trouble, but succeeding in it would be one the most pleasurable things. In. The. Whole. World."

>>17405143
I doubt we'd get far with her and the Immortals to stop us.

Ah well, yandere necron, whatch'a gonna do?

>>17405167

We've been over this

WHENEVER I READ THIS I FORGET YANDERE EXISTS AS A CHARACTER TYPE
WE
ARE
FUCKED
we just gotta play it cool and give her all of our love and only our love when we're around her. Then she might not kill us [spoiler] or rape us mirrai nikki style.[/spoiler]

>>17405132

Oh Emperor, preserve us. It's the robot girl we accidentally married on Vegas 3 while drowning ourselves in Amasec and Lho-sticks.

Pariahs and Immortals are newcrons? I'm not really uptodater with Cron codex.

>>17405132

>yandere necron

Whelp, we're boned.

>>17405132
Ask what the fuck is going on, explain your confusion by being a bit addled from using psyker powers earlier and fighting off a horde of flayed ones after you bested their lord in single combat.

The whole Psyker bit with the Pariah might cause some problems by the way.

>>17405132
So, while were here, might I say.

Taking changes means rolling dice, running doesn't involve rolling dice.
At least when we fight, there's a possibility that we win.

we have noone to blame but ourselves

>>17405188
So it would seem

Yandre-Cron: Dionne Quan

>>17405132
A necron yandere?
fuck yeah

>Yandere Pariah

Oh shit. I like Yandere and all that, but this is about Max and I WANT MAX TO LIIIIIVE

and Yanderes are likely to cut into (read: cut up) our harem ending.

>>17405217
That image does not properly describe the way we are fucked.

>>17405132
Oh God no...

“I’ve been watching you ever since you came to this world. The first time I saw you I just knew I had to make you mine!” The necron girl continues happily as she smooshes you into her even more.

“Hah…Hah… You’re joking, right?”

Her eyes glow green at your comment.

“D-does my honey not want me? Does he want someone else? I can’t let that happen…” She pulls a dagger out of her cloak and raises it above you.

“O-of course not, I’m just joking around! Haha oh me the kidder!”

Her hand stops, poised to strike.

Finally her eyes return to normal.

“Oh you…” She snuggles you even harder.

“Yeah… Me…” You gulp.

“Congratulatory: *a wedding song starts to play*”

“Hey, get a room!” Your hand reaches into your pocket, produces a cigar, lights it, and proceeds to somehow smoke it with your thumb.

The necron girl looks at your arm, scowling.

“Such a rude thing… I don’t like it…”

She brings the knife closer to where your mechanical arm meets your flesh.

“Observation: I don’t think this is going to end well.”

“H-hey now! No need to cut it off, they will shut up!” You laugh, pushing on the arm holding the knife.

“*Hey you two, shut the hell up!*” You hiss at your arm.

"Query: Can we exist without being attached to this meatbag?"

"I dunno, should we find out?"

You clamp your other hand down on the speaker, muffling them. Why did Mika even add a speaker?!

>>17405274
>“Hey, get a room!” Your hand reaches into your pocket, produces a cigar, lights it, and proceeds to somehow smoke it with your thumb.

I lost at this

yandre-cron needs to have a "meeting" with rex's treads. and guns.

Waiting for Papa-n.

On the meantime, why are we scared? It's just robotic killing machine trying to demand us all to herself.

If possible, let's call on her bullshit. That's right, MAX WILL NOT BE SATISFIED WITH ONLY ONE! Let her prove otherwise, and fail in it.

“I don’t like them…” The necron girl says again, grabbing your arm more roughly and pressing the knife blade into the seam of flesh and metal.

You are going to have to think hard of something to do to stop her…

Roll to not be without a left arm again.

>>17405274
Need to turn this around quickly. Inform our new honey that we need a gift for her, a truly fitting one. Like the head of the Necron Lord or something, then borrow a gauss rifle and wade into the flayed ones to reach the Lord. It's bound to be safer combating them than staying here.

rolled 3 = 3

>>17405306
I'LL DIE WITHOUT IT!
Bleeding and all that.

rolled 11 = 11

>>17405306
Uhh, I need that to help keep me alive what with all the things that try to kill me all the time.

rolled 8 = 8

>>17405306

STOP THAT YOU ARE A PARIAH

YOU DON'T NEED ROBOT ARMS YOU ALREADY HAVE SOME

GIVE IT BACK THAT'S NOT YOURS

rolled 7 = 7

>>17405315
Oh crap.

rolled 8 = 8

>>17405306
Here we go again, maybe we can distract her from mutilation by asking her back story?

rolled 2 = 2

WE ARE BEST FISHERMAN!
Worst case scenario we can call Tsunseer to help us out. They HATE Necrons and will take ANY excuse to kill them.

rolled 12 = 12

>>17405306
Max comes in one size, FULL. Yanderecron or not, better get used to it.

rolled 16 = 16

Here goes nothing...

...kinda wishing we had Marvin for an arm now....

Maybe we can get them upgraded? Upgraded to an off switch?

i hate all of you

>>17405336

YOU'RE PLAYING WITH FIRE HERE

rolled 17 = 17

>>17405306

rolled 16 = 16

>>17405306

rolled 1 = 1

Who needs arms?

>>17405367

rolled 15 = 15

>>17405306

They're my best friends!

rolled 1 = 1

>>17405367
FUCK YOU ABADDON!

Kiss hard.
Like, Epic Makeout.
FULL POWER TO LIPS.

>>17405367

VICTORY FOR CHAOS!

rolled 19 = 19

>>17405374
NOO!

>>17405367

YOU DID NOT JUST

WHAT

FUCK YOU

THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN

rolled 7 = 7

>roll to save arm
Fuck
I wanted to go see the F sized greater goods, but no /tg/ wants max to be a badass, not a space pimp.

Back off Robocunt.

rolled 19 = 19

she can just take the speaker! let us keep the arm and you can have the speaker!

rolled 17 = 17

>>17405306

Here goes nothing!

>eptedco 2ϕ
>ϕ
You gotta be kidding me.

rolled 1 = 1

>>17405367
this fitted so well, i can't hate it

>>17405367
Wait, what?

>>17405376
THIS BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO ROLL< DISTRACT WITH PENIS

STOP ROLLING NOW!

Shit

triple 1's, goodbye bender/HK arm

>>17405367
hahahahahaha
/facepalm
/thread

>>17405374
>>17405367
You guys roll silly.
Don't you know we've already lost our... natural one?

rolled 20 = 20

Rolling to be without a left arm again.

rolled 1 = 1

>>17405367
>>17405374
>>17405390

Now we won't even be a fisherman anymore!

rolled 7 = 7

>>17405406
Yesssssssssss

>>17405367
>>17405384

It was a good arm while it lasted.

I guess now Bender and HK-47 can have their own adventures...

With... (sniff) Without us...

rolled 9 = 9

SHIT SHIT SHIT!

>>17405367

How fitting.

>>17405307
Fucking this. robotic waifu OK, Yandere harem ender NOU

Kiss her to distract her!

>>17405406

The Gods must really want us to be without the Bender/HK arm....

....We could try to convince her to give us a Superfuckyeah Necron arm though...

rolled 17 = 17

Critical failures and nat 20's oh please dice gods let me help.

rolled 4 = 4

>>17405367
>>17405374
>>17405390

Eeh, Abaddon, we can thumb your arse without our new buddies.

rolled 19 = 19

What was that?
That, my friends, was the sound of the Rape Train being unleashed.

>>17405416
READ CAREFULLY: "Rolling TO BE WITHOUT AN ARM AGAIN"

rolled 20 = 20

oh god this is so silly

rolled 8 = 8

Sweet Rollo, I beg you. Save us!

I think we fixed it, please stop roling.

>>17405449
rolling for another 20

What if Bender/HK can walk around on there own with there finger tips?

>>17405448
They don't call me the Changeling for nothing.

rolled 18 = 18

>>17405449

Do you remember what happened last time we encountered 'crons? That's right, we got a slew of 1s and lost an arm.

Now look.

You bastards.

So.... Abbadon nat 1 would be let us have it still? and 20 is lossing it and more?
Well...

rolled 19 = 19

Fucking Abaddon attacking our rolls when Yanderecron is getting iffy with our new arm?

Kiss, tell her to prove her love and get into ass kicking mode, WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THESE TRIVIAL THINGS!

>>17405492
We totally deserve this

rolled 15 = 15

SAVE THE ARM!
The personalities can be ripped out though. I find them annoying.

With a tremendous pain, the knife severs through where your metal meets flesh.

You scream as the blade digs itself through, the Pariah having to saw a bit to sever it entirely.

Falling to the ground, you clutch at your stump. Again.

"Hmm... I don't want you running away either..."

You feel the knife press into your leg just below the knee.

"You are going to be mine, all mine..." She sings as she begins to saw.

You struggle, but she's too strong, holding you down with a single arm.

"Mine mine mine! Forever and ever!"

Blood spurts as she makes it through the first leg.

"That simply won't do..." She grabs a gauss rifle and presses the hot barrel to the stump, cauterizing it.

Your mind is in too much shock to react, you can't do anything.

She saws through the other one, using another hot gun to stop the bleeding.

"There! All better!" She sings, lifting you into the air and hugging you like a teddy bear.

"Lets go home." She says to one of the nearby Immortals, who nods.

"I'm going to love you forever!" She says before kissing you.

After you warp back to Yagis V, she carries you down into the tomb.

Which you never leave again for as long as you live.

>>17405501

"He who does not observe history", etc etc.

And to think, we could have been face-deep in Alia's greater goods by now.

>>17405510
Good End

rolled 20 = 20

>>17405510
Send out a mental distress signal! And a vox one, all channels!
All our bitches can come and help!
But uh... make sure the Cron doesn't hear the vox one.

>>17405510
this is like one of them there stephen king books

>>17405510
Oh boy, Papa is at it again...

BAD END
[heretical] LOVE IS OVER

RETURN OF YANDERE

HUEHUEHUEHUE

>>17405516
Actually I think this is about as good.

Should've gone Farseer

>>17405510
I hate every single one of you who decided to go for FUCKING 'Crons when we had a chance for some hot greater goods. Will you guys never learn?

>>17405529
Oh shit! Nat 20 for calling for help!

>>17405374
>>17405367
>>17405390
>>17405412

>>17405529

>nat 20 to get all our bitches to save us

I love you so hard right now.

>>17405510

Please be trolling, Papa.

It can't end like this...

i've never hope for huehuehue so hard before.

>>17405541
Tau are overrated

>>17405529
WE'RE SAVED!

crippled.. but saved nonetheless!

Of course he's trolling

>>17405541
Maybe we wanted some necron lovin' but NOOOO

>>17405529

KALESHI CAN SAVE US

Or doomrider, maybe? A convenient warp portal opening?

>>17405529
Oh thank god. And it's a legit roll too.
Thank you Anon, thank you.

>>17405516
Bah, this is soft talk.

Yanderecron? She better be fisherwoman to catch us.

>>17405561
they can rebuild us, they have the technology. they can make us better, stronger, faster.

...again.

>>17405541
Khornete was clearly the superior option

>>17405560
>overrated
thats an understatement

>>17405573
necrons are robots! crazy, deranged killing terminator robots! YOU CANT FUCK A MACHINE PRESS, you cant fuck a necron!

Papa-N trolling the fucj out of us because retards roll like retards?

IT's LIKE THE FIRST THREADS ALL OVER AGAIN

>>17405603
Well as long as it doesn't go the way of our dinner date with Esh.

>>17405603

>IT's LIKE THE FIRST THREADS ALL OVER AGAIN

What are you talking about, Heretical Love has always been about the nat 1's everywhere.

>>17405599
>OU CANT FUCK A MACHINE PRESS
HAHAHA! Oh you, your ignorance is cute.

Too late, she plunges the knife down and buries it into the speaker, silencing it.

The two voices in your arm protest for a moment, but then fall silent. Well, at least she didn’t cut it off. Mika can fix the arm, but you don’t know if the two voices will return…

Until the necron keeps attacking the arm, stabbing it again and again. The weapons suite goes offline, and you find that the arm is now barely movable.

“Ah, now that’s soo much better!” The necron coos happily as she grabs you around the middle again.

“Hey, can we put the knife away please!” You ask as it comes close to jabbing you.

She does that at least, before tugging on the arm of an Immortal.

“Hurry up! How much longer do you need?” She asks him.
The Immortal gestures out, and you follow his finger.

The flayed ones lay in varying states of disassemble, most in too many pieces to recognize. The Immortals keep shooting to vaporize them entirely.

“Good, I need to give my honey a bath, he stinks!”

You feel your stomach drop again as she teleports you.
Back inside the tomb, though in a different section it looks like. You don’t recognize any of the surroundings, and you can’t see far in the faint green light.

Still she’s set you down as she tends to a large stone basin, turning knobs and dials.

“Hey, uh… Kinda dark in here isn't it?”

As if on command, the tomb illuminates further, to a more comfortable level.

“Well… It could be worse…”

“Oh honey! The bath is ready!”

[ ] Bathe with the Yanderecron

[ ] “Sure let me change, I’ll be right there…”

[ ] Break into a sprint and try to find an exit

>>17405529
This will save us, right, RIGHT?

>>17405599

Have you tried?
No?

Then behold the birth of new fetish. The robot being yandere for us is just added difficulty. Fishermen live for challenge.

>>17405599
see also: fucking orks
WITH THE POWER OF HERETICAL LOVE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

Trolling? You will not deny Abbadon his victory!

>>17405632
We hardly knew you HK-Arm, we hardly knew you

>[x] “Sure let me change, I’ll be right there…”

The Yandere is crazy but gullible, distract her then take your chance to GTFO.

>>17405632
Bathe with the Yanderecron

I like living dangerously

>>17405632
Let us do as >>17405529
AND US THE NAT 20!

>>17405632
[X] “Sure let me change, I’ll be right there…”

We need to assess the situation. Getting in that bath could mean we never go anywhere ever again.

>>17405632
[x] Bathe with the Yanderecron

>>17405632
RUN LIKE THE WIND! IT'S ACID! IT'S ALWAYS ACID! ALSO I FUCKING LOVE YOU PAPA-N!

Bathe with her, keeps her slightly stable ish for now. Look for a way out during the bath. We don't know our way out well enough yet. And hey, maybe try to chat through this while Max has the chance

rolled 18 = 18

[ ] Bathe with the Yanderecron

[ ] Bathe with the Yanderecron

Also, ask her what her name is.

[ ] Bathe with the Yanderecron

The only choice that involves us surviving.

[ ] “Sure let me change, I’ll be right there…”

>>17405632
RUN YOU FOOL
RUN

I for one, am glad that the arm has been silenced.

I mean fuck, can you imagine those douchebags making comments while we try to get our groove on with Esh? Or fucking Kaleshi?

rolled 15 = 15

>>17405632
Bathe with her, risk taking is how we get our jollies.

[x] Bathe with the Yanderecron

>>17405632
[x] Bathe

Water, our element.

[ ] “Sure let me change, I’ll be right there…”
Guys, seriously, she's a robot, that's probably an acid bath, don't act even more retarded than I usually expect you to.

[ ] Bathe with the Yanderecron

and send out a psychic distress call to Esh, doomrider, and Kaleshi for HALP!

rolled 1 = 1

BATHS FOR THE BATH CRON

SUDS FOR THE SUD TUB

>>17405632
[X] “Sure let me change, I’ll be right there…”
Followed by
[X] Break into a sprint and try to find an exit

>>17405621
Exactly
it's the soul of the thread

Necrons get soggy when wet, this is verifiable by fluff. Let her get in the bath and then run!

[x] Bathe with the Yanderecron

I wanna say [ ] Break into a sprint and try to find an exit
But [ ] Bathe with the Yanderecron sounds like a safer option

>>17405709
>noko rolling
>1d1 roll detected

>>17405688
this is how we get our jollies REMOVED
she already had a stab at the arm, are we really desperate for more augumenttions?

[ ] “Sure let me change, I’ll be right there…”

Need a plan...are Necrons vulnerable to emp?

rolled =

>>17405731
1d1 this, motherfucker.

>>17405709

>Noke his roll
>Nat 1

I'm betting you rolled a d1 just to fuck with us.

[x] Bathe

If we run, she WILL get us. And this time, we will lose the arm. Among other things. Best just to play it straight.

[ ] “Sure let me change, I’ll be right there…”

try to get the weapons suite back online, can our vox reach mika for technical support?

rolled 3 = 3

>>17405732
name the last time that getting our jollies removed wasn't one of the things that could happen to us when we went after a girl?

>>17405632
Take the bathe. She hasn't let her guard down enough yet for us to try to make a break for it.

>>17405736
Plan? PLAN?

Our PLAN is to get there, and fuck her silly.

[x] Bath like the fist of the north star.

>>17405748

>>17405709
You have doomed us.

so, on that note, i vote Helena ends up becoming a AdMech partially. much litanies of fucking work required

Alright guys, I have a plan.

Make it to third base, and try to find her off switch.

I'm gonna go buy a pack of cigarette

>>17405766
"You're already dry..."

>>17405788
moear like "you're already wet"
AMIRITE GUIZ?

>>17405760
but right now we risk pain and permament loss.
this isn't healthy..

>>17405804
Was going to go for that but...to obvious.

While you don’t like your current predicament, you aren’t about to keep pushing her crazy buttons.

You slide out of your clothes, which is quite difficult with a barely functional left arm.

“Ara ara~” The necron says, as she eyes your junk.

You don’t give her the satisfaction of continuing to eye you up, as you step into the warm water.

Sitting down, you submerge yourself up to your chest.

Despite everything going on, it actually feels pretty good.
The Pariah hums some necron tune as she busies herself scrubbing you down. You just sit there limp and take it while your mind jumps around trying to figure out some way out of this mess.

Her metal fingers don’t actually feel terrible, and somehow you really think deep down she actually loves you. Too much.

“Does it feel good my sweet?” She asks as she rubs what you believe to be shampoo into your hair.

“Uh… Yeah…?” You answer, still desperately trying to muster your inner Tzeentch and come up with a plan.

“You know, I could make you feel even better…”

[ ] Interrupt her and ask her name

[ ] Get her to keep bathing you while you bide your time

[ ] Let her have her way with you, though you don’t know what that entails

>>17405817
ask for the name.
Be polite about it.

>>17405817
[ ] Interrupt her and ask her name

rolled 19 = 19

[ ] Let her have her way with you, though you don’t know what that entails

>>17405632
[x] Bathe

A fisherman cannot be afraid of the waves, nor of what horrors it might hide beneath its foamy surface.

rolled 6 = 6

>>17405817
LET HER HAVE HER WAY WITH US

GROPE THE SHIT OUT OF HER

WHILE GROPING, TRY TO FIND HER OFF SWITCH