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  • File : 1326757312.jpg-(66 KB, 1000x673, witch and wingmen.jpg)
    66 KB Strike Witches: THE QUEST planefag 01/16/12(Mon)18:41 No.17563929  
    You are a young American night-fighter pilot who's just bounced a few Witches harder then a goddamn superball, and the best part is you're probably going to get away with it.

    Because you aborted your patrol due to "engine trouble," it's only 4AM, so you've got a few hours to kill before you'll be tired enough to sleep. You mosey on down to the Officers Club, where booze and bangers are to be had - whatever the fuck a banger is. England is a strange nation. You carelessly barge through the door in your accustomed fashion, saunter over to the bar and drum on it with your palms. "Paddy! A pint!"

    The bartender, who is neither named Paddy, nor remotely Irish, slams a heavy glass mug upon the bar and slings it towards you with all his might. You snatch it easily, your palm stinging from the hefty impact. It's an old game between you two, a warm, fuzzy mutual hate. If Paddy's arm gets any better, you'll have to scrounge up a catcher's mitt.

    You chug down some of the low-quality draught, reviewing what you know of the 502nd Joint Fighter Wing:

    1. They're Witches.
    2. You owned them pretty hard.
    3. At least one of them probably wants to gut you like a fish.

    Considering point #3, some homework might be in order. On the other hand, you've got some moderately vague bragging to do.

    The base is your oyster. What do?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)18:43 No.17563949
    I eat the oyster
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)18:46 No.17563984
         File1326757574.png-(10 KB, 347x444, nom.png)
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    >>17563949

    That sounds vaguely obscene.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)18:49 No.17564047
         File1326757799.jpg-(29 KB, 502x275, little girl.jpg)
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    Your problem, OP, is in making the viewpoint character a male.

    You should know what /tg/ wants.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)18:53 No.17564085
         File1326757995.jpg-(2 KB, 119x126, 1315834915474.jpg)
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    >>17564047

    We've had quite enough of that lately, thank you.
    >> Crix !!nLvSV/0cRma 01/16/12(Mon)18:55 No.17564114
    Is 'bounced' not actually a euphemism for sex?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 01/16/12(Mon)18:56 No.17564122
    Well, I'm for chugging a few more pints, taunting Paddy some and then start bragging about the pilot's escapades.

    Bonus points if one of the strike witches that he trounced walks in.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)18:56 No.17564126
    >>17563929
    Offer a challenge the one who wants to gut us.

    Drinking contest.
    Whiskey only.
    Final destination.

    Loser has to admit the winner is a better flyer.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)19:00 No.17564184
    >>17564114

    Kind of. The great irony is that most fighter pilot terms end up applied, in reverse, to sex. For example, "shot down," "made a pass," etc. "Bounce" means to dive on somebody and blow their ass off before they know you're there. Doing the same thing without actually shooting, to an ally, basically means "I could have wasted you, you suck all the dicks and I'm so much more awesomer."

    >>17564122

    CALLED IT
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:03 No.17564229
    So we're not a strike witch?
    We're a Night-Fighter Pilot, American?

    Weren't all american night fighters two-seaters?
    I can only think of the black widow and the lightning variant.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)19:09 No.17564299
         File1326758942.jpg-(25 KB, 640x360, 1295582336434.jpg)
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    What the hell. It's not every day those sparkle-fantastic bints are taken down a peg, is it?

    You find a semi-populated table and insinuate yourself amongst them. To your delight, your exploits are already the topic of heated discussion - you recognize one man as a control-tower radio tech, which explains his knowledge.

    "The officer sounded *pissed,* too," the man is extolling, waving his hands for emphasis. "I'm not sure what happened next, but she didn't like it one bit, because then there was just, you know, sputtering."

    You nod sagely and sip at your mug. "So whoever it was got away? From a Witch?"

    The radio operator nods, then regards you suspiciously. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be flying tonight?"

    "Number Two took a shite on me," you explain. "Coughed her last just as I lowered my landing gear."

    He snaps his fingers. "Oh, right, I was just getting off-shift when you came in. Close thing."

    You shrug, as if the engine failure hadn't scared you (it did,) and ask for some elucidation of the current scuttlebutt. The men eagerly fill you in.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:11 No.17564324
    >>17564229
    Looks like no one archived last thread at suptg:
    archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/17545010/

    Yep, we're a black widow pilot.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:13 No.17564358
    >>17564324
    I'll read up.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)19:15 No.17564382
         File1326759354.jpg-(46 KB, 842x595, black widow.jpg)
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    >>17564299


    "Sounds like he bounced 'em. And he sounded American. A Mosquito could outrun a Witch, perhaps, but a P-61?" One of the other men at the table shakes his head. "He wasn't from the 442nd. Must've been a Mossie driver who's good with accents, feeding them a red herring so he didn't get his ass a court-martial."

    You stroke your chin and look at the ceiling pensively. "Well... if a Black Widow dove for the deck, that 'Night Witch's' magic is as obscured by ground clutter as regular radar. And no little girl is going to match a Black Widow in a dive, either."

    All the men at the table stare at you.

    You sip your beer, a carefully neutral expression in place.

    "In fact," you say, "I hear there was a Junkers flying a couple of their officers home tonight. And they've only got one Witch capable of night operations, so if she was slacking off, shooting the breeze with her friends when some bored Widow driver happened upon them..." you twirl your finger in the air to indicate that it's completely theoretical.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)19:23 No.17564499
         File1326759788.png-(3 KB, 210x230, 1308217016814.png)
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    >>17564382


    The men around you are hiding smirks in the foam of their beers.

    You shrug noncommittally. "I mean, that's what probably happened. Hard to believe that the phenomenal power of a little girl singing "la-la-la" all fucking night long-" there's some muted snickers at this - "-can't match old fashioned skill, but..."

    The man across from you suddenly widens his eyes, and seems to shake his head the tiniest bit.

    You forge ahead, missing the hint. "And not being able to out-maneuver a beast like a Black Widow? With a Striker Unit?" You sigh with mock sadness. "I have no idea what those girls are thinking."

    The man across from you frantically blows bubbles in his beer. You wonder what the hell he could be trying to hint at, and tilt your head back to drain your mug -

    - and keep on tilting, your chair following, until the back of your skull meets the wooden floorboards. Through the glass bottom of your mug, you can make out an extremely pissed-off man hovering over you.

    >Fight?
    >Item?
    >Run?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:24 No.17564517
    >>17564499
    Fight
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:26 No.17564546
    >>17564499
    >item
    Care for a drink?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:28 No.17564563
         File1326760095.jpg-(913 KB, 2115x1511, Perrine meets a pilot.jpg)
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    >>17564499
    Kick his ass.
    >> IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG planefag 01/16/12(Mon)19:32 No.17564620
         File1326760345.png-(134 KB, 550x660, 1316473972590.png)
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    >>17564517

    You're a 21 year old fighter pilot with alcohol in his system, still coming down from an adrenaline dump.

    What happens next is as reflexive as breathing. You hurl the heavy glass mug up at your assailant, grab his ankles while he's busy dodging, and yank him off his feet. Rolling to one side, you seize your chair and swing it sideways across the floor into the bastard.

    The man simply rolls out of the way and lashes out with a boot, catching you in the ribs. Pain explodes in your chest, and in a blind rage you lurch off the floor around the same time he does. You lunge for him, hands reaching outward, and he decks you hard, sending you sprawling over the table.

    You finally get a moment to look at the man, and recognize him through the red haze of rage. As he seizes you by the shirt-front, you drunkenly salute.

    "Major Lhook, sah!"

    Major Frank Luke, your squadron's commanding officer, hauls you upright and sticks his face in yours. "What a SWELL story you were just telling," he growls. "Care to tell me a little more?"

    >Yes
    >No
    >Fake a concussion
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:33 No.17564631
    Exactly what model are we flying? I'd assume a P-61A.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)19:33 No.17564637
    >>17564563
    (apropos of nothing, but I love that somebody else loves the much-too-sparse "witches with conventional troops" pictures.)
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)19:34 No.17564655
    >>17564631

    The alternate timeline plays merry hell with model designations, but it is an early model (an A, in other words,) and it does have the turret.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:35 No.17564669
    >>17564620
    Concussion.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:37 No.17564699
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>17564620
    >Fake a concussion

    How about we fake being drunk out of our minds?

    Not that we need to fake it.

    Dielectric cablyf
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)19:40 No.17564724
    >>17564620
    "Well, its a long story, but this is just what I heard people saying, I'm not r


    >Fake a concussion

    Also welcome back bro, I have overnight shift so I get to play along till I go to base, yay me.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:45 No.17564778
    Concussed drunk sounds good.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:46 No.17564786
    >>17564620

    "What? Why are there three of you?"

    "That'd be me, my bad attitude, and my LAST OUNCE OF FUCKING PATIENCE," Luke bellows, shaking you by the shirt. "Bounce the Navy, bounce the Limeys, Bounce the fucking MARTIANS once in a while, like you're supposed too, you layabout FUCK, but for FUCKS SAKE, never, ever, EVER bounce a WITCH!" The Major punctuates each statement with a vigorous shake that rattles your brain around your skull quite nicely. "It's a political landmine, and when all that shit comes back to earth, guess who's fucking desk it lands on!?"

    He's silent.

    You stare at him, disoriented, until you realize he wants an answer.

    "Yo-"

    "YOURS, MOTHERFUCKER," he roars with impressive volume, two inches from your nose. "BECAUSE YOU'LL BE MY FUCKING FILE CLERK AND FLY A FUCKING TYPEWRITER FOR THE REST OF THIS WAR if you ever get caught doing that, you hear me, asshole?"

    "If I'm caught?" you echo innocently, catching the key phrase. Frank Luke is the subject-matter expert on the "get caught" clause, but you wisely refrain from mentioning that. "I turned back halfway through my patrol with a funky engine, sir."

    Luke drops you on the table unceremoniously. "I just had an engineer take a look at that engine," he says coldly.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:49 No.17564814
    >>17564786
    >"YOURS, MOTHERFUCKER,"
    I lol'd
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:53 No.17564848
         File1326761581.jpg-(62 KB, 497x785, 1322705356260.jpg)
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    >>17564786

    Oh shit oh fuck oh doom on you, he knows.

    HE KNOWS.

    "I don't know how you did it," Luke growls. "Your crew chief said that engine was overhauled not two days ago. Either you can make engines fail on command or you're the luckiest son-of-a-bitch on earth. Get to your goddamn quarters, I'm putting you on the dawn patrol."

    There's a slight "whoosh" of air as the ten tons of DOOM you were imagining falling on you vanish. A few seconds later, your heart remembers it should be beating.

    The tower radio tech emits a brittle laugh. "Nice work. You a wizard, mate?"

    "Pet Gremlin," you reply shakily. Retrieving your mug, you limp over to the bar for another pint. Now you *really* have something to celebrate.

    >Wat do? Suggestions:
    >Do as you're told
    >Talk to your crew chief
    >Catch up on your reading
    >OONTS OONTS OONTS OONTS
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:53 No.17564857
    >>17564786
    >>17564848
    You forgot your tripname.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:54 No.17564868
    >strike bitches quest
    i love you, fat weeaboo OP
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:54 No.17564873
         File1326761699.png-(163 KB, 512x384, 1319078776729.png)
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    >Strike Witches
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:55 No.17564879
    >>17564848
    Do whatever actually lets up SEE a witch. This is getting annoying.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 01/16/12(Mon)19:55 No.17564883
    >>17564848
    >PADDY!
    Then:
    >Talk to Crew chief.
    Then:
    >Panic.
    Then
    >Do as your told.
    Then
    >Catch up on your reading.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:56 No.17564885
    >>17564848
    >OONTS OONTS OONTS OONTS
    party all night
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:57 No.17564892
    [x]Do as we're told.

    We just barely avoided the biggest shitstorm of our time. Lets play it cool for a while.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)19:57 No.17564896
         File1326761844.jpg-(62 KB, 853x480, eldorado.jpg)
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    >>17564879
    >Do whatever actually lets up SEE a witch.

    Agreed.

    >>17564873
    This is a horrible, horrible idea, and I know it.

    FINAL DESTINATION.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:57 No.17564901
         File1326761860.jpg-(42 KB, 500x391, 131096164530.jpg)
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    >>17564848
    >"You're a wizard mate"
    Steal a Striker Unit
    Just kidding
    [x]Do as you're told
    That's enough life-risking for one night
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)19:59 No.17564914
         File1326761969.jpg-(479 KB, 736x561, 1325465910209.jpg)
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    >>17564873
    >implying strike witches isn't /tg/

    http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Dive_into_the_Sky
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:00 No.17564932
    >>17564848
    Catch up on reading.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:02 No.17564939
    Sleep, it is the sensible thing to do.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:02 No.17564943
    >>17564914
    Not who you're replying to but...
    Strike Witches isn't /tg/ related by itself.
    The homebrew game might be, sure.
    This quest thread is /tg/ related, as is the nature of quest threads.
    However, Strike Witches itself is not though.

    Polite sage.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:02 No.17564949
    Why is bouncing a witch such a bad thing?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:07 No.17564999
         File1326762454.jpg-(47 KB, 351x461, Trude wat.jpg)
    47 KB
    Visit the Witches
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:08 No.17565004
    >Advance the plot
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)20:08 No.17565005
         File1326762501.jpg-(61 KB, 400x400, 1326251550457.jpg)
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    >>17564892
    >>17564892
    >>17564885
    >>17564883

    Your last pint of the night screams over the polished bartop, leaving a moisture trail behind it as it punches through the atmosphere. With the speed of a striking snake, you seize a nearby chair and slam it into the bar, letting the wood take the crushing impact instead of your hand. The mug impacts with a wooden CCRACK! and beer gushes so high it splatters on the ceiling.

    With a look of weary triumph, you pick up the cracked mug and chug what remains in one go, then slam it into the bar. Shooting Paddy the Evil Eye, you turn and leave the officer's club.

    Curiosity gets the best of you, and you detour past the hangars on your way to your barracks. The crew chief of your plane stalks towards you, a big wrench in his hand.

    "Hey, Marv."

    "Fuck you, asshole," he growls, his hand flexing on the haft of the wrench.

    "Uh." You retreat, holding your palms up. "I didn't do shit."

    "I just fixed this, and you go and fuck it up."

    "... what?"

    Marv shows you what. Leading you into the hangar, he shows you a few cracked gaskets in the fuel line and carburetor.

    "And we just replaced all of those two days ago," he grumbles. "Every fucking gasket, every grease fitting, every spark plug. They don't dry out that fast, even when one of you knuckleheads push it for the extra ten pounds of boost-pressure. It just doesn't happen."

    You reach out to feel the steel around the gaskets. "Shouldn't it have started a fire?"

    Marv snorts. "Quite likely. Instead, the fuel line just shut down." He shakes his head slightly and gives you a wary look, like you might sprout horns or something. "You don't got a witch in 'yer pocket, do you?"
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:10 No.17565031
    >>17565005
    >Pat down self
    Not that I'm aware of
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:10 No.17565036
         File1326762658.jpg-(15 KB, 183x251, Theydon'tthinkbutitdo.jpg)
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    >>17565005
    ...
    I hope this isn't what I think it be.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:13 No.17565057
    >>17565005

    "Nope. I'll have to ask my partners-in-piloting. Maybe one of 'ems hiding a wand under the seat without telling me."

    "Be nice to have a broom instead of an ejection seat, eh?"

    Also another vote for "do what you're told." He knows where you sleep and he's probably going to have someone wake you up in the most awful way imaginable.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:14 No.17565068
    >>17565005
    "Hey, Marv, trying to steal some extra time in the O-Club because of mechanical failure is one thing, but burning my own engine is another."
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)20:16 No.17565090
         File1326762976.jpg-(71 KB, 924x1019, 1326592095874.jpg)
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    >>17564943
    (forgot to mention, I'm using Dive Into The Sky to resolve some combat and other similar situations. Deal With It.)

    >>17565004

    You manage to drift off to sleep after skimming the London Times, which is full of bad news, as usual. The Graf Spee and the Indianapolis are still out-of-contact after entering the Med, Fighter Command has suspended all recon flights over the Normandy Coast following devastating losses, and sugar prices are going up again.

    You're hustled out of bed at 6AM, dragged through the cold night half-asleep, and are soon lurching up a ladder with a biscuit in one hand and a thermos in the other. After stumbling into your pilot's seat, you discover the thermos is filled with tea.

    Better then nothing. As you bring it to your lips, you discover it's almost as cold as the morning, and when the caffeine hits your system, your eyes unblur enough to make out thick fog and jack-shit visibility right outside your canopy.

    "I hate this fucking country," you mutter.

    With much cursing and fussing, the four aircraft of your flight line up on the ramp and are soon sent roaring off into the darkness. Peering at your kneeboard, you see you've pulled the coast patrol.

    "Fuck me," you comment.

    "What?"

    "Coast patrol."

    "Oh, that lousy rotten bastard," Sean bitches via intercom from the radar compartment. "Dawn, too. Shit duty if there ever was."
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:18 No.17565132
    >>17565090

    "Could be worse. Could be escorting some witches around, eh?"
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:20 No.17565159
    >>17565132
    You jinxing son of a bitch
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:22 No.17565179
    >>17565132
    in before we wind up dogfighting with a witch or seven
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:22 No.17565187
    >>17565159
    Implying it wasn't inevitable.

    We'll probably get bounced, hopefully we get some of the agreeable witches and not the crazybitch ones
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:25 No.17565216
    >>17565187

    Get bounced? I think the big reason we aren't in as deep shit as we could be was because our "victim" shot at us.

    There's a small, but present chance we're gonna be a little blue on blue "Oops".
    >> Dawn Patrol planefag 01/16/12(Mon)20:25 No.17565218
    >>17565090

    Daytime attacks usually consist of those fucking steam-sleds (or whatever flavor-of-the-week the little green men pick,) dropping in from high orbit, right onto population centers like London. A pilot tooling about at 30,000 feet has a decent chance of scoring a kill on one, if he spots it early enough to match speeds in a dive.

    Coast patrol, however, is -

    "-cleaning up the Witches sloppy seconds," Sean bitches, "if we're incredibly lucky."

    "What, you want to get into a real fight in this clunker?" Ian marvels from the back-seat. "More power to the girls, I say."

    Your crew didn't get their asses kicked last night, so they're a bit more talkative then you. An hour later, you're feeling a little more awake, and you've gained about 20,000 feet of altitude by the time you reach the cliffs of Kent.

    "The channel sure is pretty in the morning," Ian says as you wheel North for the first leg of your patrol. Sean announces his intention to get some sleep, and leans back - Ian and you both have 20/10 vision, and with the morning fog burned away by the rising sun, there's little call for the radar.

    "There's Sparkle City," you say, nodding at the little spit of an island off your nose, where the 501st Witches squadron is based.

    "It's got a proper name, you know," Ian scolds you. "That's one of the most ancient and fabled castles in all of England, you lout."

    You lean forward in your seat, peering intently at something a little nearer. It looks like gnats at twenty paces on a hot summer day - just the hint of a cloud of tiny things, darting about swiftly. "You see that?"

    "I do," Ian says.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:29 No.17565260
    >>17565218
    We should wake up Sean, see if radar can pick them out and get a range on them.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:30 No.17565265
    >>17565216
    We pack as much firepower as any four witches.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:30 No.17565266
         File1326763824.jpg-(57 KB, 391x389, 1324014132588.jpg)
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    >>17565218
    Oh, we're boned.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 01/16/12(Mon)20:30 No.17565272
    >>17565218
    Go in slightly closer. Just don't bounce them.
    If we see any familiar faces, perhaps we should give them a wing waggle, maybe?

    Afterall, we wouldn't want to tell the Major we were impolite...
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:31 No.17565285
    >>17565218
    ignore them, pray they ignore you, and be prepared to dodge
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:32 No.17565290
    >>17565265

    We also pretend to follow the laws of physics. And they have more value than we do. It could easily be an "accident".
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:33 No.17565303
    >>17565290
    .....What if we pretended the laws of physics didn't exist?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:33 No.17565312
    >>17565303

    We'd probably crash our plane into the ocean.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:33 No.17565313
    Oh Man...
    We are a gigantic douchebag.
    and i like it
    >> Be Careful What You Wish For planefag 01/16/12(Mon)20:33 No.17565315
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    >>17565218

    You push the nose down and nudge your huge fighter's throttle above cruise power. "Sean. SEAN! Wake up, you shithead."

    Sean snarls and swears as he wakes up. "What, what?"

    "We've got some kind of dance going on out there."

    "Planes or Strikers?"

    "Not planes; too small."

    "Training exercise, then," Sean says, but you see the electrical bus power gauge bounce as Sean warms up the radar set. Any chance of action is worth looking into, especially for the inglorious and forgotten night fighter crews. "I'll take a sniff," he says, meaning he'll use the radar dish as a passive "ear" to see what, if anything, is radiating.

    "YES!" his hefty Irish voice kicks you in the head through the intercom. "Martian gobbledeegook, we've got aliums!"

    You and Ian both whoop with exhilaration as you push the throttle to military power and nose down a little more to reach the area. You key your mike to report the contact, but with the proximity to the shore radar installations, you know it'd be pointless. Especially with the proximity to the Witches. Better to keep quiet - the Martians have a funny talent for triangulating transmissions, and you don't want to tip your hand just yet.

    A long minute later, your sharp eyes start to recognize the movement patterns of the battle. "Oh, shit."
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:33 No.17565316
    >>17565272
    I doubt they will be anyone we encountered last night, I mean, who the hell would get night AND dawn patrol?
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)20:33 No.17565319
    >>17565218


    Also welcome back bro, I have overnight shift so I get to play along till I go to base, yay me.

    Request Permission to fly escort with the Witches.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:38 No.17565370
    >>17565315
    Oh shit?
    Oh shit!
    We'd better grab some more altitude, if we're going to take part in that fight then we might be better served by diving down from up high while the aliens are distracted by the Witches.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:39 No.17565386
    >>17565315
    Get up to a nice altitude then dive into the fireworks below and kick some ass
    >> The Fecal Matter Has Suddenly Become Incredibly Authentic planefag 01/16/12(Mon)20:40 No.17565394
         File1326764424.jpg-(646 KB, 768x1024, 1326247337812.jpg)
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    >>17565315

    It's Witches all right, and they're up to their scantily-clad asses in aliens. You're close enough now to see the tracers of the Witch's small arms floating across the sky, and the sinister smoke-contrails of Martian rocket-bombs.

    You gently roll the P-61 inverted to get a better look through the top of the canopy. "Fuck me, they've got a little of everything today." And they do - the little green men were intent on covering their bases today.

    And there's a lot of them. You go to key your mike - the Witches are probably being jammed, but several thousand feet above them, your much bigger set might punch through.

    As you do so, you spot a girl in a Striker unit breaking away from the main melee, with a gaggle of Martians hot on her tail - quite literally. She's jinking for all she's worth, but as far as you know, Witches only turn tail when they're out of magic for those shields they conjure, which means that Witch is about to be in Hurt City.

    >WAT DO
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:41 No.17565409
    >>17565394
    Transmit a very loud TALLYHO! and get the martians off her tail
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:41 No.17565410
    >>17565394

    Do you have to ask?

    We pull up and repeat yesterday's festivities with purpose.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:41 No.17565411
    >>17565394
    White Knight to the rescue!
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)20:42 No.17565415
    >>17565319

    Coming up quite soon. In the standard military fashion, as well.

    >In MILITARY, Officer Volunteers YOU
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:43 No.17565432
         File1326764596.jpg-(16 KB, 338x301, That's a bingo.jpg)
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    >>17565394
    Engage the bogey.
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)20:43 No.17565435
    >>17565394
    >>17565315
    SUPPORTING FIRE
    YOU ARE A FIGHTER
    DEFEND YOUR SHI oh wait air force
    DEFEND YOUR FELLOW AIRMEN
    LETS DO THIS, take it from above, its blind spot should be above it, even with its omnidirectional laser blasts. Show the witch what a Conventional Unit can do!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:43 No.17565438
    Let's put those twenties to work.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:44 No.17565445
    Dive like a maniac and put the hammer down on the aliens
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:45 No.17565456
    Oh hell yeah! ATTACK!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:46 No.17565470
    >>17565394
    Like what everyone else said:
    Transmit "Tallyho!" and dive on those aliens.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:47 No.17565485
    >>17565435
    agreed, high altitude and then when the moment is right dive on through
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)20:51 No.17565529
         File1326765112.png-(22 KB, 300x300, 1311211897865.png)
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    >>17565432
    >>17565415
    >>17565411
    >>17565410
    >>17565409

    Oh, yes. Fuck yes. Your breast swells with unholy glee, and you see red.

    Time to kick some alien ass.

    Still inverted, you haul the P-61 into a steep dive towards the fleeing Witch. Aiming slightly behind her, you let your reflector gunsight drift onto the biggest pursuing Martian, one of those pipe'n'jets affairs, the nasty ones with the spiral-y rockets.

    You scream out of the sky like a jet-black avatar of death, and at the right moment, you thumb the firing stud. Four twenty-milimeter cannons and four .50 caliber guns roar, shaking the entire airframe, and the Martian disintegrates.

    "FUKKINBULLSEYE!" you scream wildly, crushing yourself into the seat with four-gravities of force as you haul back on the stick. The massive fighter soaked up a ton of energy in the dive, which you burn in a zoom-climb, climbing two-thousand feet in only four or five seconds.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:54 No.17565553
    >>17565529

    Now would be a good time to tell her you've got her back so she can stop being scared out of her non-existent shorts.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:54 No.17565562
    >>17565529
    How many are left, and prepare for another pass.
    If the witch is clear, and the swerve over to assist her friends.
    Let's show those little girls how we do it in the conventional forces.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:55 No.17565575
    Also: Don't get shot down. That would make us look stupid.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:56 No.17565579
    >>17565529
    Check for anyone else in the immediate danger of a structurally superfluous ventilation duct. if there is, help them, if not go on the attack and kick some ass
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:56 No.17565582
    We're kind of a clunker compared to the witches, maybe release the turret to local control?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:57 No.17565595
    >>17565553
    try to establish radio contact with the witch, see what the situation is. Get fukkin altitude.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:57 No.17565603
         File1326765477.jpg-(42 KB, 460x288, unhappy_schoolboy_1361664c.jpg)
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    >>17565529
    >See that pic.
    >Think that this is a planes and mercs thread
    >mfw its not
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:58 No.17565610
         File1326765512.jpg-(44 KB, 695x496, 1319873380316.jpg)
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    >>17565529
    KILL.
    THEM.
    ALL.
    >> TALLY HO planefag 01/16/12(Mon)20:58 No.17565611
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    >>17565529

    You finish the loop, coming out inverted again, but this time you're at a near-standstill and half the altitude. Still, that's enough. Some of the Witch's assailants are splitting off to turn towards you, but the rest are still driving her over the Channel, further and further from help.

    Well, fuck that.

    You roll upright and dive again. Several Martians throw their noses up at you, and Sean shouts over the intercom, "Masers!" A second later the small radar-scope in your instrument panel clicks on at Seans command. Usually used for terminal intercept in the dark, it now lights up brilliantly where the emitted radiation of a charging maser is detected. Thus guided, you put your big plane into a tight spiral, blowing right through the climbing Martians before a single one manages to discharge.

    Through! You level off at the same altitude as the Witch and her pursuers, but you're still five-hundred yards distant. You unload the plane, sleeking for speed, and ride your extra airspeed for as long as possible. The Widow isn't the fastest plane, and you only close to about four-hundred yards when you sense your speed has matched - and is now slipping.

    Good enough. "Tally-ho, you fucking freaks," you breathe, and press the firing stud.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:59 No.17565620
    >>17565603
    PaM has its own forum! Why would we have a thread about it?!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:59 No.17565623
         File1326765573.jpg-(53 KB, 504x404, NORTHROP P-61 Black WIDOW.jpg)
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    >>17565611
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)20:59 No.17565624
    Just gonna throw this out here in case a little blue on blue happens somewhere.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_M1D_LtW8nY
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:02 No.17565657
         File1326765741.jpg-(49 KB, 600x450, 1319931783716.jpg)
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    >>17565624
    Then I'm gunna throw this out in case it doesn't.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKDzOnRydWk
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:04 No.17565684
    >>17565624
    >>17565657
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO6giM9UAv0
    Fitting
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:04 No.17565686
         File1326765863.jpg-(100 KB, 832x400, Zero.jpg)
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    >>17565657
    >dat music
    "Here's comes the fucking snow, you alien freaks!"
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:04 No.17565688
    >>17565624
    >>17565657

    What is it with planes and Ace Combat? The music is so boring.

    Maybe it's because I never played any of the series, but I find the music just very very dull.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:05 No.17565702
         File1326765932.png-(87 KB, 350x197, 350px-Meettheheavy4.png)
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    DON'T RUN

    /DON'T RUN/
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:05 No.17565703
         File1326765934.jpg-(50 KB, 428x322, 1320978580126.jpg)
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    >not playing the Strike Witches OP while splashing bogeys

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NdVK687tPw&list=PL7095B41738863267&index=10&feature=plpp
    _video
    >> The Fecal Matter Has Suddenly Become Incredibly Authentic planefag 01/16/12(Mon)21:05 No.17565705
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    >>17565611

    The Hispano may be a finicky, difficult, unreliable pain-in-the ass, but when it works, sweet Jesus does it WORK. The four belly-mounted cannons have no convergence factor to worry about, and the huge, high-explosive/armor piercing shells tear through the four-hundred yards of intervening airspace like miniature missiles, the smoking tracer contrails looking like the spear-shafts of Apollo himself. You give one bandit a good hammering, then use the rudder to swish the gunsight over two others. The heavy BABABABABABABABABABAM~! of the huge cannons sends a stattaco vibration up through your seat mountings and through the base of your spine. One Martian explodes, another goes spinning into the Channel, missing a wing, and a third breaks off in a desperate dive, smoking badly.

    "We've got company!" Sean hollers from the back.

    Two kills and a probable isn't bad for one sortie, is it? On the other hand, the Witches are still outnumbered, and you've got the firepower of any four of them.

    >Wat do?
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)21:06 No.17565708
    >>17565611
    good show! Lets keep it up, and make contact with the witch. When conventional units and Special units team up, there is no evolution which cannot be completed!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:06 No.17565711
    >>17565688

    If you play it, it will invoke primal urges regarding low altitude maneuvering and air support below sea level.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:07 No.17565719
    >>17565688
    Yeah, you need to play the games just so you can get the assosciated moments that come with the music

    for instance

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW6oT4Tc8bA

    50 enemies in the are, 4 friendlies. this quickly shifts to 1 friendly (your wingman) and no enemies. followed by a fun as hell boss fight
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:07 No.17565724
    >>17565688
    >Maybe it's because I never played any of the series, but I find the music just very very dull.

    Music and gameplay (this one is my favourite song from the game, and I haven´t even played it): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PUeDGi0XwA
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:08 No.17565729
    >>17565705

    Hand the turret over and clean out the sky.

    I still say this would be a good time to encourage our damsel in distress.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:08 No.17565740
    >>17565705
    turn round, splash some more
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:08 No.17565743
    >>17565705
    Free up the turret to local control, and have either Ian or Sean us it while we swing around to greet our incoming friends.

    Maybe throw out a short message to the fleeing Witch that she's clear and we'll take care of the pursuers.
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)21:08 No.17565745
    >>17565705
    >>17565705
    Provide Support. Take em out using your superior firepower, the witches are small and able to evade lasers, while we are massive and focus more on RAW HEAVY POWER. Lets kill them fucks, alien bastards.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:09 No.17565749
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    >>17565705
    Run away? Not a chance.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:10 No.17565757
    >>17565705
    Well, if we've still got the means to provide support, we might as well, right?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:10 No.17565761
    >>17565745

    Actually, hold that thought... Get on the can and get a few of these witches on your flanks. If you co-ordinate, you could quite literally smoke the entire group without a sweat.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:10 No.17565762
    >>17565705
    Wheel around
    Pump the martians full of ballistics.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:11 No.17565769
    >>17565762
    Also, radio the witches for some support.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:11 No.17565771
    the witches are worth more to the war effort than our plane. or us for that matter. If their fat is in the fryer we gotta stay and duke it out, even if we are gonna get shot up.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:15 No.17565807
    >>17565705
    How many bandits do we have on the breakaway witch and how many are on us?
    >Also
    CLIMB CLIMB CLIMB. Give Sean or Ian the turret and have them start shooting the aliumz while we turn around to engage.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:16 No.17565815
    >>17565724
    Crap yes White Devil is one of the absolute best pieces on the soundtrack.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLqhF2wswYk

    Anyways, I'm liking
    >>17565761 and
    >>17565769
    Let's get some coordination going.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:17 No.17565831
    Anyone know if black widows were ever fitted with gun pods?

    I mean, well, look at how nifty the B-25 was once they started slapping even more guns on it.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)21:19 No.17565862
         File1326766787.jpg-(129 KB, 1024x570, 1311998065517.jpg)
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    >>17565762
    >>17565761
    >>17565757
    >>17565749
    >>17565745
    >>17565743
    >>17565740
    >>17565729

    That itchy feeling on the back of your neck is back, and it's strong as hell. You're at co-altitude with much more maneuverable, much faster enemies, and you're flying a heavy, slow crate.

    And taking one look at the numbers the Witches are up against, you realize you don't have much of a choice.

    "Sean, Ian, turret!" you say, flipping the switch to unlock the top turret. There's a brief whine of servos as the remote-operated turret swings about, obeying commands from the remote aiming controls both Ian and Sean have mounted at their positions.

    You take a deep breath and ram the throttles forward, snapping the thin wire stretched over the throttle channels, near the end.

    The huge fighter lurches, raw power shocking through the airframe as the massive Double Wasp radials are unchained. Thirty-six cylinders bellow towards the redline as you push into War Emergency Power.

    You'll need every ounce of that power. Flipping your Black Widow upside-down, you cut into a hard split-S (upside-down half-loop,) reversing direction towards your playmates. You open fire at 600 yards, betting on your range advantage to save you against the Martians broadsides.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:22 No.17565887
    Hated Strike Witches. Love the quest. A wiseass showing up a bunch of kids who think they're hot shit? Fuck yes.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:23 No.17565904
    check fuel and ammo loads, too
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:24 No.17565924
    fuck fuck. i get the bad feeling that we'll be swimming away from this one.

    oh well. two more kills and we make ace today! thats gotta be worth something when you're going up against motherfuckers that can cut a battleship in half with their pew pew guns.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:24 No.17565930
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    >>17565831
    For a second I thought you were talking about a B-52 going air to air. What a wonderful moment that was.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:26 No.17565945
    >> 17565603

    If it makes you feel better... Congo is opening a third flight (hopefully to be ready by the time the next mission selection comes about) that has no one applying yet.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:26 No.17565954
    >>17565930
    Read Dale Brown
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)21:27 No.17565963
         File1326767247.jpg-(83 KB, 319x289, 127525728284.jpg)
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    >>17565769
    >>17565815

    Your long-range fire is less effective when the Martians can see it coming, but their evasives spoil their own shots. The sky before you fills with smoking rocket contrails, the shimmering heat-distortion of maser beams, and old-fashioned kinetic projectiles. A wall of bullet hell comes hurtling towards you.

    You cut the left-engine throttle, stand on the pedals, adjust the mixture and prop pitch and pop the left spoilerons almost in the same motion, sending the heavy fighter into a vicious left-hand skid, neatly dodging the worst of the fire. Explosions and the screech of rent metal let you know you've been hit, but the instruments never waver and the powerful fighter plows through the storm resolutely.

    You've moved your nose off-target evading, but Ian doesn't dissapoint. The quad-50s in the turret hammer loudly as the bandits blow past, and Ian grunts with satisfaction, apparently having scored.

    Now, at last, you key the mic. "WitchyPants I just saved, take my wing!" you cry out, trying to get the closest Witch to form a wing-pair with you. As long as you stay separated, you're easy meat.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:27 No.17565966
    >>17565930
    how many air to air missiles could we cram onto or into a b52 anyways?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:29 No.17565984
    >>17565966
    Many. Many many many.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:29 No.17565985
    >>17565966
    Fit on them? Depends on the missile. Fire from it? Basically none, unless we get real damn creative.
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)21:29 No.17565989
    >>17565930
    >>17565745
    B-1R is better for absurd anti air
    "Its that time again"
    "FUCK YES YOU ARE THE BEST SUPERHEAVY ANTI EVERYTHING AIRCRAFT EVER"
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:29 No.17565994
    >>17565930

    hmmm. wonder how many air to air missiles you could fit in that fucker.

    it would need to fly with the bay door open to be able to launch them fast enough though. that could end badly. (did end badly for one like that in korea. sam went right in there just as the were opening it up to drop their payload. poor bastards.)
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:32 No.17566019
    >>17565984
    >>17565966
    >>17565994
    If they were to drop the missiles out the bomb-bay with the missiles waiting a bit before activating their jets and killing stuff, could we reach macross levels of Ari-to-air missiles?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:32 No.17566023
    >>17565719

    Yeah. Okay. I can see it now.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:32 No.17566033
    >>17566019
    Fuck yeah, it's not exactly like missiles weigh all that much to a B-52.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:34 No.17566048
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    >>17565989
    Forget Brown, just wait for this baby to come out. It's exactly what we're talking about. B-1 instead of B-52, but same concept.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:34 No.17566049
         File1326767654.png-(104 KB, 213x327, 1310274439588.png)
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    >>17566019

    >mfw
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:35 No.17566057
    >>17565963
    How many bogeys still engaging us? Considering this is still early in our patrol, I assume we're still okay on fuel.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:35 No.17566059
    >>17566019

    seems like it would be really impractically expensive and be massively inappropriate overkill in every conceivable situation.

    so yeah, im sure the pentagon has secretly outfitted 5 or 6 buffs like this already.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:36 No.17566069
    But, can we put some gunpods on our ride?
    Also, air to air rockets?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:36 No.17566071
    An AIM-9 Sidewinder weighs 188lbs. A B-52 can carry up to 70,000 lbs. of ordinance. That's 372 missiles.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)21:36 No.17566076
         File1326767805.jpg-(449 KB, 1024x768, you_gonna_get_bounced.jpg)
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    >>17565963

    "Tally one Witch, four-o'clock!" Sean cries. "Coming for our tail!"

    You break hard right, hoping to set up a defensive weave with the Witch, but as you do you see your playmates finishing their own hard, flat turn to come about on you. Now you recognize them as heavy-hitters, what most pilots call "Steam-sleds" after their general appearance. They're usually used when the Martians want to hit like a freight train, and they generally do.

    "Fuck *me,*" Sean breathes from the intercom, and you hear the turret guns go to work on something behind you. Naturally, the lighter, smaller Martians are already on your ass.

    You take your Black Widow through another head-on exchange, but this time you keep your piper on-target longer, getting a good lick into an alien 'sled, which explodes and wheels out of the sky. Your own fighter bucks hard as a spiral-rocket explodes under your belly, kicking you in the ass and lifting the whole machine several feet.

    "Where is she?" you cry out, hauling the Black Widow into another hard right-hand turn.

    "Too- many!" Sean says, and your heart sinks. There's no way you'll be able to pair up with her - you're both too swamped. Which means all three of you will be dead in another few minutes of this.

    The 'sleds come about again, turning back on you as you both describe a figure-eight in the air. You bank hard left, and wait. The sleds explode in smoke and fire as they begin firing well beyond effective range, trying to rattle you, but you hold steady...
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:38 No.17566089
    >>17566071
    We need to factor volume at this point.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:38 No.17566097
    >>17566089
    That would be the actual problem with it.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:38 No.17566098
    >>17566089

    Do we have to? I mean, what if we just duct-taped them to the wings?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:39 No.17566110
    >>17565963

    inb4 the witch who was dodging and fleeing was eila and she wasnt in trouble and we've oh dogd ourself for nothing.


    >>17566076

    ...is that B-17 flying fortress?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:39 No.17566117
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    To get this conversation relevant again, lets look a the WW2 version of this:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/YB-40_Flying_Fortress
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)21:39 No.17566120
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    >>17566076

    Thank God, all four cannons are still operational. Hauling back on the stick, you sweep your fire over all the sleds, either bashing in their noses with high-explosive shells or forcing them to break off.

    Something loud and ugly yanks your fighter to the left, and you see your Number One engine explode in flames.

    "Well, shit," Ian observes.


    Wat do?

    >Sir Not Appearing In This Dogfight
    >TO THE DEATH
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:39 No.17566121
    >>17566098
    Still need a triggering mechanism to get the missiles to actually launch.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:40 No.17566123
    >>17566076
    I guess it's time for seat of our now thoroughly brown pants flying
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:40 No.17566126
    >>17566098
    Or build a plane out of detachable sidewinders with the fuselage one big sidewinder? Even the ejection seat is a sidewinder.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:40 No.17566128
    >>17566110

    It's a P-40. Check the rear-view mirror.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:41 No.17566130
    Radio the witches, dive for the deck and haul ass home. Or, hell, try calling for more conventional help.
    >> knows absolutely nothing about military aircraft 01/16/12(Mon)21:41 No.17566140
    >>17566121
    .......Do they have Wi-fi in those things?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:42 No.17566145
    >>17566120
    To the death!
    We may not be able to help in the furball that the other witches are engaged in, but we can at least take these fuckers with us.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:42 No.17566156
    >>17566120

    "best of luck, witchey friends!" and then bail out. cant do shit with an exploded engine.


    >>17566128
    i mean, is that the game 'B-17 flying fortress:"
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)21:43 No.17566157
    >>17566120
    >>17565963
    tactical retreat, land on the small airstrip, because a flameout is bad, and if we die, GAME OVER YEAHHHHHH
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:43 No.17566158
    >>17566120
    to the death then.

    Whilst singing something appropriate
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:43 No.17566160
    >>17566140
    No, that would be expensive. Plus, how the hell would we get them to separate from the plane if they were duct-taped on?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:43 No.17566161
    >>17566120

    You think we can disengage?

    Dive, and assess the situation, if we lost the engine, we've lost any chance of dogfighting.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:43 No.17566169
    >>17566120
    BLAZE OF GLORY TIEM
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:43 No.17566170
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    >>17566117
    >Room for 30 MGs

    I want one. NOW
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:44 No.17566176
    B25J would fit better, it's guns were fixed forward and was an attack plane rather than an escort.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:44 No.17566179
    >>17566160
    I think he's assuming the ductape would just rip off once the missile launches.

    and not horribly hurt the wing in any way
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:44 No.17566183
    I'm just saying, if we kill the aliens, save the little girls and trash our crate in the process then we come out a Big Damn Hero who needs a new, shiny plane.

    Presuming we survive of course, but if we do, we're on a good track.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:46 No.17566198
    >>17566179
    Fine then, he can explode when the missile's engine burns a hole in the wing, and then ignites ALL of the fuel in that wing.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:46 No.17566201
    >>17566183
    >Maybe they'll give us a Meteor
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:46 No.17566204
    >>17566183

    You know what... This sounds like a great idea.
    But the survival part is a bit wonky.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:47 No.17566221
    wait, did we make ace today?

    i think we made ace today.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:47 No.17566224
    >>17566201
    We're not flying no limey plane
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)21:48 No.17566228
    >Run or Fight?
    >even tie

    Okay, I can work with this.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:48 No.17566230
    Land on the Witch's airstrip
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:48 No.17566234
    Always remember: You have to pull out while you still can. After shooting your load is too late.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:48 No.17566240
    >>17566228
    Fightfightfight
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:48 No.17566241
    >>17566228
    I want to see this.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:49 No.17566249
    >>17566158

    Are we going for tragic?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcxQfCZ_9V8

    Or glorious?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1Qkzj5bStU

    Oh, wait. Singing:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYoq6sovr8Y
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:50 No.17566272
    >>17566249
    >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcxQfCZ_9V8
    >Yo-a-Yo
    Mah nigga.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:51 No.17566275
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    >>17566228
    RUN

    Maybe then you'll have a chance to get back at those Witches while still breathing
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:51 No.17566281
    >>17566120
    The martians aren't just gonna let us retreat. They will kill the fuck out of us if we even try it. Therefore, we have no other option. Keep fighting.
    say "Ladies, and Gentlemen, it has been n honor serving with you." over the radio.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:51 No.17566285
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    >>17566234
    OK, I laughed.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:52 No.17566294
    YES THOUGH I FLY THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH I SHALL FEAR NO EVIL FOR-WAIT THAT WAS THE ENGINE OH GOD I AM NOW FEARING EVIL
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 01/16/12(Mon)21:52 No.17566295
    >>17566120
    ... You need to ask?

    Full speed ahead and damn their Masers!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:54 No.17566315
    >>17566294

    Though I fly through the valley of shadow, I'm scared shitless cuz I can't get my nose above -10.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:54 No.17566318
    Do what you can, keep fighting until you REALLY need to break off. Bail out and hope to god you don't get strangled by your own chute.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:54 No.17566319
    >>17566294
    >I shall fly through the valley of death, and i shall feel no evil, for i have the firepower to rival the gods.
    FTFY
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:55 No.17566327
    TO FIGHT.
    And while it, Show that Fuckin' Russian Kid, some Quality American Song
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrQrkZtg-mo&feature=related
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:57 No.17566348
    >>17566294
    I like the SR-71 variant: Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)21:58 No.17566364
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    A cold, chilly wrath spreads through your body, numbing your emotions and clarifying your thought.

    You are about to die.

    The cool, crisp simplicity of it is seductive, and you embrace it wholeheartedly. You enact the only go-to-hell plan you've ever had: if you're going to hell, you're taking the largest honor guard possible.

    You wheel your badly-wounded fighter around for another go. Neither Ian or Sean speak, but you hear the top-turret swinging around for one more lick.

    The Martian steam-sleds thunder towards you, huge billowing contrails of grey smoke billowing out behind them as they give it the gas. Just as they approach firing range, you shove the stick down and dive under them. They fire, but the extreme closure rate and sharp deflection angle spoil their aim, but, as always, your top-turret is not so limited, and the quad-fifties roar.

    You know, without having to look, that the Martians have flipped inverted to turn back into you and follow your dive. Rolling your striken Widow, you make a sharp turn back the other way, still diving steeply, then roll again and turn back the other way, weaving left-right-left as you plummet from the sky. The left-hand engine vanishes in a cloud of white mist and thick black smoke as the extinguishers fire.

    "They're still on u-" Sean begins to say, then his voice vanishes into the hideous sound of a hefty blast in the rear of your plane. The Widow bucks and tumbles, and you scream incoherently into your cockpit, knowing Sean is dead...
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:58 No.17566370
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    Light those freaks up.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:58 No.17566374
    >>17566348
    Yea though I am detecting SAM radars I shall fear no missiles for I am putting the pedal to the metal
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:59 No.17566384
    >>17566348
    >Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no evil for I have read Federal Aviation Administration Circular 21-A-B, Airmen's Information Manual Chapter 9, Section 4, subsection 3, Federal Aviation Regulations Part 91, 67, 151, 12, 9, 13, have informed ATC that I have the international precautionary statement, viewed the ILS/PRM informational video, and have DME.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)21:59 No.17566387
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    "We're not just going to shoot the bastards.
    We're going to cut out their living guts and
    use them to grease the treads of our tanks.
    We're going to murder those lousy bastards
    by the bushel."

    In other words, fight
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:00 No.17566401
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    Speaking of awesome planes...
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:00 No.17566405
    >>17566364
    ..and then we land on the cockpit of a martian plane, dagger in hand, and take it over
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:01 No.17566407
    >>17566364

    Call out to Ian, if the gun still works, it needs to be firing.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:02 No.17566418
    >>17566364
    Those Martian scum will pay for that!
    Is the turret still operational? Have Ian take over the turret controls while we make this Widow dance.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:02 No.17566419
         File1326769327.gif-(1.18 MB, 320x159, 1310939696788.gif)
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    >>17566405
    Nah, just jump out after one.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:02 No.17566420
    >>17566364
    Refer to
    >>17565610
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:02 No.17566426
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    >>17566364
    BAIL OUT GODDAMNIT

    It's not like the Witches will appreciate it either, you're just cannon fodder to them.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:02 No.17566429
    >>17566364
    >>17566407
    and this is where we start shouting FIRE EVERYTHING
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:02 No.17566431
    >>17566401
    they're rebuilding the 2nd prototype of that sexy beast.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:03 No.17566447
    >>17566364


    choke it down and bring her around. there'll be time to weep later, or else have a drin with sean at the gates of hell.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:03 No.17566452
    >>17566426

    That's exactly why we aren't bailing...

    They'll never notice unless we shoot enough metal out of the air to make a aircraft carrier.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)22:04 No.17566461
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    >>17566364

    Fighting the sluggish controls, you take your downward weave and nudge it into a downward spiral. You unfeather the propeller on the dead #1 engine, letting it spiral freely, creating a ton of drag on your left wing, and drop your flaps. The Widow's handling deteriorates rapidly as you lose what speed you had, but the gamble pays off - the Martians don't notice your loss of speed until it's too late, and two of them zip out in front of you. Fighting the controls for every ounce of lift, you manage to put your gunsight on one of them and you feed the fucker several 20mm rounds, blowing big chunks of important-looking stuff off his ship and making him peel away, out of the fight. There's a sharp explosion above you, but you spare no time to look up, just nose down and steepen the dive again, spiraling a bit and looking up through the canopy to get a glimpse behind you, now that Sean isn't talking.

    The altimeter spins wildly as your altitude unspools towards the cold, dark waters of the Channel. You've dragged the entire flight of 'sleds into the weeds, and effectively out of the fight with the Witches above. Mission accomplished.

    Now you need to not die.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:04 No.17566465
    >>17566426
    I might be wrong, but I thought that the Martians always shot down people who bailed.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:05 No.17566474
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    >>17566364
    Start shooting. Only allow yourself to die when you have not one shred of ammo inside that plane of yours.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:05 No.17566480
    I think it is time to bailout harder than the US government.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:06 No.17566486
    >>17566364
    >you scream incoherently into your cockpit, knowing Sean is dead...

    Rest In Peace, You Glorious Bastard
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:06 No.17566490
    >>17566426

    who gives a shit about the opinion of some pantless schoolgirls?

    these miserable alien fucks killed our brother in arms. we swing our fists till our arm wont move!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:06 No.17566491
    At least Sean made ace before he died.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:06 No.17566495
    >>17566461

    We've got no way to get back in the fight... But we're probably low enough that they can't commit glorious warcrimes on our parachutes.

    It also means we need to be out of the plane in the next ten seconds.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:07 No.17566503
    >>17566461
    Can we still fly?

    If yes, limp home, low and slow

    If no, we have a 'chute right?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:07 No.17566506
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    >>17566364
    I came to this thread expecting a fun romantic romp through WW2. Now we're fighting to the death.

    >Went better than expected
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:07 No.17566510
    Don't forget to send a mayday!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:07 No.17566513
    >>17566491

    Aye, That man went out a champion. We gotta get out of this to pour out a 40.

    And we better make sure Ian gets out too... The hell if we're losing the plane and both our airmen.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:08 No.17566521
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    >>17566461
    Why do we keep calling them Martians? We don't know where the Neuroi came from.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:08 No.17566523
    >>17566461
    Feels like it's time to bail out. If not for our buddy, then because you posted one of /v/'s main waifus and we can't let her down.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:08 No.17566525
    >>17566503
    >>17566495
    >>17566480

    Guys. We have ALL the Martian HEAVIES on our asses. We literally CAN'T bail.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:09 No.17566546
    >>17566521
    They look like Aliens to me.
    and EVERYONE knows from where Aliens come.
    Mars
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:10 No.17566552
    >>17566525
    THEN WE GO RAMMING SPEED AND TAKE ANOTHER KILL!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:10 No.17566556
    >>17566525

    Well then, lets become double aces eh?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:10 No.17566560
    >>17566521

    why call the germans krauts? why call the vietnamese gooks? why call koreans zipper heads? military types do that shit. its an in-group out-group thing.
    >> Fleet Admiral Anon 01/16/12(Mon)22:10 No.17566561
    We limp home to honour our dead crewmate with glorious alchohol and the fact he made Ace before he died.

    Radio for help, the Witches are still in the furball up on high, someone might be able to get there and do some damage.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:11 No.17566565
    >>17566461
    get as close to shore as possible, and bail out. Witches better be saving us.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:11 No.17566570
    So if we die here.
    How many Martians we killed?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:12 No.17566575
    >>17566521
    War of the Worlds.
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)22:12 No.17566577
    >>17566228
    >>17566156
    Head home, or land somewhere. We did it. Manly tears. Many Many Manly tears..
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:12 No.17566587
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    >OP has us running away
    >mfw
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:13 No.17566589
    >>17566570
    Not enough.

    >successful typhyda
    Though it seems captcha disagrees with me.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:13 No.17566596
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    >>17566491
    >>17566513
    >>17566561
    I came here to get away from this sort of thing...
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:14 No.17566606
    Have Ian bail and open his chute as low as possible, we'll fly on and attempt to draw the enemies away from him.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)22:14 No.17566607
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    >>17566461

    Through the melted and charred plexiglass you see the long runway of Castle Barin, the ancient Witches stronghold of the British Isles. The fight has carried you close enough you might attempt it.

    Of course, you still have three 'sleds riding your ass, and perhaps some of the damn 'gnats, too. You need speed.

    You pull your wounded P-61 out of the spiral at 500 feet altitude, and let go of the stick, unloading the control surfaces. Number Two engine is thundering violently, flames blasting from the exhaust stacks. You violently shove #2's cowling control all the way down, slamming the cooling flaps closed, sleeking the plane for speed and caging the intense heat of the redlined engine inside the carburetor.

    You frantically attack #1's panel, turning off the magnetos and shoving the mixture to full-rich to flood the engine with volatile fuel. Holding your breath, you flip the magnetos on and fire the remaining extinguisher again in the same breath.

    The engine BANGS! to life, and fairly explodes in flame at the same moment - which is smothered by the CO2 from the last extinguisher bottle. With superhuman speed you lean the mixture fast enough for the turning engine to rattle weakly, then catch. It's still trailing the thick, vile black smoke of an oil fire, but it's running, and for the next thirty seconds that's all you need.

    Sean might still be alive, wounded and bleeding out in the radar operator's compartment. You have to land this fucker.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:14 No.17566612
    >>17566570

    4 confirmed, 1 near thing, one is running home to momma
    >> Fleet Admiral Anon 01/16/12(Mon)22:15 No.17566629
    >>17566589
    We did enough, pulling that whole flight of 'sleds outta the action and saving a Witch. The point is we are in a mangled P-61 Night-Fighter, a MUTHAFUCKIN BIG bird, with one engine blown and our arse end shot to bits. We'll be lucky to get back to the airstrip at this rate. We can't get back into the fight, we just can't. We did our part Soldier.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:17 No.17566651
    >>17566607

    Is that gun firing, We're sitting ducks if we line up for a landing with those sleds unmolested.
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)22:18 No.17566664
    >>17566575
    >>17566607
    la nd already on the castle.
    RETREAT , get medical on the horn, and pray there are some witches staying behind to provide us with cover while we land!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:18 No.17566672
    >>17566607
    Radio air control at the castle, tell them we're coming in hot and with company. We need fire trucks and an ambulance for Sean.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:18 No.17566674
    >>17566607
    gently crash the plane, hopefully they give up and go home or the airstrip scrambles some fighters to assist us
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)22:20 No.17566698
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    >>17566607

    "Castle Barin, Castle Barin, Romeo-Two on short final, clear the runway!" you wail into your radio.

    "Romeo-Two, what are you flying?"

    "Twin-engine! We-"

    "Request denied, Romeo-Two," an extremely annoyed female voice informs you."Barin is a Strike Witches base and off-limits to male aircrew, and we've got an entire flight of Witches low on mojo to recover. Divert to Eddington Strip, it's almost on the beach."

    >How does this make you feel?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:20 No.17566710
         File1326770440.gif-(1.53 MB, 400x225, 1325881575069.gif)
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    >>17566607
    >Sean might still be alive, wounded and bleeding out in the radar operator's compartment. You have to land this fucker.

    Fuck it, you're right. Let's GTFO and hopefully save our men.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:21 No.17566720
    >>17566698

    "Castle Barin, that wasn't a request, I was just being polite."
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:21 No.17566723
    >>17566698
    JUST DIVE THAT SHIT INTO THAT CASTLE
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:21 No.17566728
    >>17566698
    "WE DONT HAVE THE FUCKING CAPACITY TO REACH TH-IAN KEEP THAT GUN FIRING DAMMIT"
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:21 No.17566733
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    >>17566698
    This.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:22 No.17566737
    Fuck that bitch. We won't make it there and Sean certainly won't. Land.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:22 No.17566742
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    >>17566698
    FUCK THAT SHIT. WE GOT WOUNDED AND WE JUST SAVED THEIR SORRY ASSES.

    LAND ANYWAY
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:22 No.17566743
    >>17566698
    fuck it, emergency landing.

    Try not to kill anyone
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:22 No.17566746
    >>17566698
    Fine. Land next to their runway; it'll be messy but better that a splash.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:23 No.17566751
    >>17566698

    "This bird is hitting the runway whether you like it or not. Now either I crash into everything on the way or YOU CLEAR THE DAMN RUNWAY!"
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:23 No.17566757
    >>17566698
    "Castle Barin, I have one man bleeding out to death, one engine on fire, 3 steam-sleds and a handful of gnats on our tail. You can take up any issues you have with my squadron commander but I'm landing my plane."
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:23 No.17566760
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    >>17566698
    Pissed right the fuck off.

    "Castle Barin, I have wounded up here. Now give me a landing strip."
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:23 No.17566761
    "That wasn't a request"
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:23 No.17566763
    >>17566698
    Couldn't copy. Radio breaking up, Control. Proceeding to land.
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)22:23 No.17566764
    >>17566664
    >>17566698
    tell em fuck off, we can't fucking not land, unless they want to deal with Neuroi about to fire lasers and wreck their shit. Besides, Witches can STOVL, we on the other hand are not a Harrier or a F-35 or YAK 161 which does not exist yet.

    Besides, what are they going to do, give us a DRB for LANDING WHILE OUR CREW IS DEAD?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:23 No.17566765
    >>17566720

    >>17566746

    These.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:24 No.17566768
    Mayday, mayday, mayday! We have wounded aboard and we are landing this bird NOW!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:24 No.17566774
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    FUCKSHITASS DISCRIMINATING AGAINST TWIN ENGINE PLANES FUCK THOSE CUNTS
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:24 No.17566778
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    >>17566698

    FUCK YOU BITCH IVE GOT A DYING FRIEND IN A BURNING PLANE AND A HUNDRED BUG EYED MONSTERS ON MY ASS! GET SHIT READY FOR US OR IM LANDING INSIDE YOUR FUCKING CONTROL TOWER!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:25 No.17566780
    >>17566698
    Oh no, the witches won't be able to walk around in panties when silly boys are around.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:25 No.17566781
    >>17566698
    Send a mayday and a WGIAF to the controller.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:25 No.17566784
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    >>17566698
    >off-limits to male aircrew
    Then who the fuck are these guys?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 01/16/12(Mon)22:25 No.17566786
    >>17566698
    And at this point, it's time to tell them politely to go screw themselves. The engines are torched, the plane is about to come apart, literally, and there are casualties aboard.

    Any sane aircommander would let that plane come down. If it's off limits to males, send a plane to ferry everyone to homebase after Sean is patched up.

    Worst comes to worst, and they still won't let the plane land, strafe the command tower. Bastards.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:25 No.17566789
    >>17566698
    This is romeo two.
    I don't give a fuck.
    Clear the damn runway, or this is going to be alot messier than it needs to be.
    >> Fleet Admiral Anon 01/16/12(Mon)22:25 No.17566793
    >>17566698
    "Declaring emergency, 3 Martian 'Sled's on our arse and one engine out! I won't make it anywhere else!"

    >Those bitches, take us in anyways. We'll be dead unless SOMEBODY covers us about... RIGHT NOW!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:26 No.17566795
    15 tons of twin engine is coming down on that runway, the only question is whether it's a crash landing, or just a crash
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:26 No.17566796
    >>17566784

    Eunuchs?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:27 No.17566802
    >>17566698
    "Court martial me later, this bird isn't making the coast!"
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:27 No.17566810
         File1326770863.jpg-(190 KB, 600x600, 1287217798531.jpg)
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    >>17566780
    They probably have some kind of virginity = magic dealy going on.
    Thought that dosen't explain this ancient slut.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:27 No.17566812
    "Tower, a court martial is better than being dead. We. Are. Landing."
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 01/16/12(Mon)22:29 No.17566830
         File1326770960.gif-(45 KB, 207x237, F5 Like a Boss.gif)
    45 KB
    On a meta note...
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:31 No.17566843
         File1326771063.png-(64 KB, 211x215, 1315801039729.png)
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    >>17566698
    Our response.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:31 No.17566844
    >>17566830

    >Lost the last hour doing exactly the same. WHERE DID THAT HOUR GO YOU GUYS? I COULDA SWORN IT WAS STILL 2.30 am...
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:32 No.17566861
    >>17566698

    "Don't worry tower, the men of this plane are currently the flamingest aircrew in the service.":
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:33 No.17566865
    >>17566830
    >f5ing
    >not having 4chan plus extension that automatically refreshes the page for you.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:33 No.17566872
    >>17566607
    >mfw when it seems OP wants to make this into a Strike Witches: The Waifu/Harem-ing quest with the animu girls
    >why you gotta not be original and set up a quest in different theater of war with original characters/witches?
    >why you gotta go make the anime girls waifu bait for your quest?
    >why do I have no face?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:33 No.17566873
    >>17566861
    Straight as rainbows you might say.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:33 No.17566878
    >>17566698

    I didnt mean 'can I land?' I meant 'get out of the way' .
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:34 No.17566879
         File1326771240.jpg-(482 KB, 3079x2366, Lockheed_P-38J_Lightning_-_1.jpg)
    482 KB
    My question is why are we flying a widow, a nightfighter for fighting during the night; a plane that was designed to be heavier and slower because it flew at night and those limitations would be less of a bad thing, why are we flying it during the day? and why not pic related, the master race for all double-fuselage planes?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:34 No.17566881
    I wonder.. have you ran a previous quest thread, planefag? Your style seems awfully familiar.

    Polite sage.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)22:34 No.17566887
         File1326771268.png-(10 KB, 384x267, 1258945302450.png)
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    >>17566743
    >>17566742
    >>17566737
    >>17566733
    >>17566728
    >>17566723
    >>17566720


    "Ooooh you duckfaced-shit-licking-cum-gargling-hog-humping-curtain-of-smelly-TWATMIST!" you thunder into your microphone as you shove #1 engine to half-throttle. "Go fuck yourself with a rabid badger you sparkle-fantastic fairy-dust-farting sack of triplecrank fizzle-bitch FUCKSLUMPS!" You don't even know what you're saying anymore, but it sounds hateful, fiery and violent, and that suits your current feel quite nicely. You can feel the old 'Widow losing inertia, and between the heavy combat damage and your critically low airspeed, you don't want the drag of the landing gear till the last second.

    You dimly note the concussive hammerblows of the .50 cals smacking your eardrums every now and then - the top turret still speaks. The walls of Castle Barin grow ever larger before you, and all at once the island lights up with muzzle flashes and tracers, black clouds of ack-ack exploding about you.

    Trigger-happy fucks are SHOOTING at you!? You thumb the firing stud again with pure rage, but the cannons click empty. Fuck it, you'll crash on them.

    You're too low and too slow for a proper approach - not enough lift. Your wings must be shot up. The runway is looking awful flat; you've very little altitude. As the edge of the long runway approaches your nose, you hit the gear switch, letting the wheels fall out of the belly via gravity, and give the stick a sharp jerk backwards, praying that the little "snap" will be enough to ensure the wheels lock in.

    The long runway is finally underneath you, and you hear the sweet, sweet sound of rubber smacking concrete at last. Now it seems the 'Widow is moving rather too fast, but you don't dare tap the breaks - ground-looping now would send you right over the edge and into the rocky shoals on either side of the runway.

    It's a pretty fucking stupid runway, you know that?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:34 No.17566891
    >>17566698

    "I hope you have turrets to deal with those martians, because otherwise they might try a landing too!"
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:36 No.17566908
    >>17566879
    Because have you read the thread? He got off a night mission and then got shoved onto dawn patrol because he pissed off his officer.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)22:36 No.17566909
    >>17566784
    >filename
    >engineers
    >he thinks engineers are aircrew

    The difference between aircrew and ground crew is, ground crew does work, and aircrew fucks bitches. True story. Ask any aircrew.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:37 No.17566923
    >>17566887

    'permission denied' garbage and then they open up fucing FLACK at us? sweet jesus tits. take out our side arm and shoot the first witch we see. well not reall, but imagine it really hard and put all the feeling of it into our smile.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)22:38 No.17566924
         File1326771493.jpg-(51 KB, 275x300, slowpoke dapper.jpg)
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    >>17566881

    On /tg/? Not really, no. I do write on another site, though. If they were to recognize me I'd be torn asunder, guaranteed.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:38 No.17566926
    >>17566887
    Try to keep the plane straight while Ian keeps on shooting at those Martians with the turret.
    Take a quick look behind us and see if those idiots on the wall have realized that there's incoming bandits that they need to be worrying about, and not us.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:38 No.17566929
         File1326771510.jpg-(349 KB, 808x808, 575475f1d9fdb1513a8ff1c94f15e5(...).jpg)
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    >>17566887
    Did we just smack-talk Minna?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:38 No.17566933
    >>17566923

    Actually, making sure we've got our sidearm in order wouldn't be a bad idea... Again, if they're pissed off enough, we "died on impact"
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:38 No.17566937
    >>17566923
    I'm going to go ahead and assume they were trying to shoot the guys chasing us and are just bad shots.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:38 No.17566938
    >>17566923
    or just get out, puke our lungs up, and pass out
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)22:39 No.17566941
    >>17566887
    Its dumber than Edwards, and Edwards is just stupid big, this is more like a rocket-plane/mass driver runway if anything.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:39 No.17566948
    >>17566887
    What the fuck? There's still assholes on our 6 and they are shooting us? Do they want to completely fuck over their own runway?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:40 No.17566951
    >>17566929

    We did and she'll have to fucking COPE WITH IT!
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)22:41 No.17566957
    >>17566909
    airdales are silly, Master Subsurface race here, we can dive to avoid silly laser planes and fire missiles in 4 years when the technology reaches that point.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:41 No.17566961
    >>17566948
    Nothing says "shooting yourself in the foot" like the burning remains of a plane on the goddamn runway with multiple enemy planes flying all around.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)22:41 No.17566963
    >>17566941
    >Edwards
    >F-104s

    And this is how Chuck Yeager almost died a million times.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:42 No.17566970
    Crash into something that doesn't look too hard if you slide off the runway. Maybe some trees!

    >>17566941

    Well, there's a lot of empty space.

    Don't want to jump out into a joshua tree that's decided to try climbing into your cockpit, though.

    Sidearm, check, then check on your buddy who got shot.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:42 No.17566971
    >>17566963
    Does Chuck Yeager exist in this setting?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:43 No.17566978
    >>17566971

    Hopefully he does now.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:43 No.17566979
    >>17566971
    Just her MASSIVE JUGS
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:43 No.17566989
         File1326771833.jpg-(44 KB, 294x600, Charlotte E. Yaeger.jpg)
    44 KB
    >>17566971
    Sort of.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:43 No.17566990
    >>17566971

    Genderswapped.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:43 No.17566991
         File1326771836.jpg-(70 KB, 704x784, 1250463197518.jpg)
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    >>17566971

    sorta(pic related)
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:44 No.17566995
         File1326771846.jpg-(212 KB, 1280x1530, 1287208213992.jpg)
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    >>17566971
    He is now a she, and has bunny ears and immense mammaries.
    We might meet her later.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:44 No.17566997
    >>17566971

    Answer: Yes, in theory. He's already been born.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:44 No.17567002
    That's Charlotte.

    I'm talking about Chuck.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:44 No.17567004
    >>17566948
    Here's to hoping they were firing on them and not us then.

    We HAVE to let them know emergency, we got shot up in that fight nearby defending their own, and (most important) that we have wounded.

    Anything else can wait until we don't get shot off the runway or blown up by the sleds. And then get our wounded and ourselves out of immediate explosion range.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:45 No.17567011
    >>17567002
    They are the same person.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:46 No.17567018
    >>17566995

    >First man to break the sound barrier
    >rewarded by being turned into pandering moeshit

    Thanks, guys!
    >> NavalAnon !!jz5JQZ1dN2Q 01/16/12(Mon)22:47 No.17567024
    >>17566971
    Charlotte Yeager is the Fastest Ace.
    >>17566909
    airdales are silly, Master Subsurface race here, we can dive to avoid silly laser planes and fire missiles in 4 years when the technology reaches that point.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:47 No.17567031
    >>17567018

    What do you think those are for?

    She's aerodynamic!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:47 No.17567037
    >>17567031
    More like extra drag.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:48 No.17567041
    >>17567037

    Payload
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:48 No.17567043
         File1326772104.jpg-(311 KB, 882x1000, 1287795631766.jpg)
    311 KB
    >>17567002
    Same person, all the witches are based off WW2 air aces, genderswapped for funtimes.

    This bitch here is mother fucking Enrich Hartmann.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:48 No.17567046
    >>17567031

    I never did understand breast physics in it's entirety.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:49 No.17567057
    There is any reason why they have animal ears & tails?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:49 No.17567066
    retract the landing gear (if they even work) if our breaks are shot.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)22:50 No.17567069
         File1326772210.jpg-(16 KB, 296x277, 1320028092434.jpg)
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    >>17566887

    The massive Black Widow keeps on barreling down the runway just like it barreled through all those Martian projectiles. Even with both engines cut, the Widow just rolls and rolls and rolls. As she slows, the nose slowly tilts downward as the front gear partially folds up, not having locked properly. The heavy Widow finally slows, and you want to stand on the brakes, but an old, ingrained instinct from flight training looms large in your mind - the repeated threats of severe beatings and/or unfortunate "accidents" promised to any pilot who damages the very expensive radar gear in the nose. Out of respect for the collapsing forward gear, you abstain from the brakes, and the Widow, moving slowly now, sedately rolls through the wide courtyard at the end of the long runway and through the wide doors of the hangar cut into the cliffside.

    With a final squeak and rattle of tortured bearings, the wheels stop moving, and the nose-gear slowly collapses until the P-61's nose rests on the ground, as if taking a bow.

    You violently kick at the trapdoor under your feet, which bangs into the tarmac, without the usual clearance to deploy the ladder. Swearing, you tug at the canopy release, only to find it slagged and jammed. Drawing your Colt .45, you smash the butt into the release and knock it free, bodily hurling the goddamn canopy away from your cockpit with your other hand. Leaping to the concrete, with everyone present staring at you, you thrust your finger at the closest person: a young woman with a brown jacket and no pants.

    "YOU. ARE. SMALLTIME," you snarl.

    Then you pass out.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:50 No.17567071
    >>17567057
    Because magic.
    But magic doesn't explain the lack of pants.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:50 No.17567072
    Can we get the next portion of the quest please?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:50 No.17567074
         File1326772239.jpg-(30 KB, 640x432, 1311952557255.jpg)
    30 KB
    >>17567018
    I'll admit, even as a closet moe-lover, I'm first a foremost an aviation nut and this makes me cringe.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:51 No.17567076
    >>17567018
    No no, he was rewarded by becoming a general, winning a fuckton of medals, and he's still alive, happily retired living off a fatass retirement. That's how he was rewarded. Besides this is an AU, where instead of WWII we have an alien invasion. Hell most of the countries we know of, don't exist. IF you are from North America, you are probably from Liberion, not the United States.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:51 No.17567077
    >>17567057

    something something being in tune with their familiars when they use powerful magic.

    its best not to examine these things too closely.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:51 No.17567092
         File1326772312.jpg-(328 KB, 682x659, 1286692768278.jpg)
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    >>17567018
    Homosexual detected.
    Strike Witches has been posted on Chucks myspace before, much to his amusement.
    Fuck, the producer had to ask his permission I think.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:51 No.17567093
    >>17567069
    so.....grounded for the forseeable future?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:52 No.17567094
    >>17567069
    Best closing line ever.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:52 No.17567097
         File1326772337.jpg-(359 KB, 2000x1332, SWWorld.jpg)
    359 KB
    >>17567076
    This is the map of the Strike Witches World.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:52 No.17567098
    >>17567069
    BRAVO, THAT MAN. BRAVO!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:52 No.17567099
    >>17567069

    Actually. this is works... this works fine...

    Hope Sean is alright.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:53 No.17567107
         File1326772383.gif-(1.56 MB, 231x239, 1311122225935.gif)
    1.56 MB
    >>17567069
    Fucking deal with it.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:53 No.17567109
         File1326772385.jpg-(485 KB, 1017x803, F-4 and Mig.jpg)
    485 KB
    >>17567071
    To quickly fit into their Striker Units. Pants get in the way, so they all just choose not to wear any or wear pantyhose
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:53 No.17567115
         File1326772416.jpg-(305 KB, 800x783, 1304615656479.jpg)
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    >>17567069

    Fuck yeah!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:53 No.17567116
    >>17567092

    Stop posting. It is clear you are insufficent for it.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:53 No.17567118
    >>17567074

    Some of the pilots were asked what their thoughts on this were. They laughed.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:53 No.17567119
    >>17567097
    ...what the fuck happened to the americas?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:54 No.17567121
    >>17567097
    Am I seeing this right? Did Texas get nudged a good ways north?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:55 No.17567135
         File1326772521.png-(75 KB, 400x400, in Liberion.png)
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    >>17567097
    >North America is a star
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:55 No.17567144
    >>17567097
    >everywhere else
    hmm, looks good
    >North America
    oh jesus what
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:55 No.17567149
    >>17567097
    Huh, My country seems fine.
    but for some reason Allied with the Russians
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:55 No.17567150
    >>17567069
    This might be a good time to start a new thread. We're almost a bump limit.
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)22:56 No.17567157
         File1326772610.gif-(19 KB, 168x110, 1326255974728.gif)
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    >>17567069

    You wake up naked in a hospital bed.

    The golden rays of the late-evening sun slant in through the windows, which is more then enough light to make your head hurt like a motherfucker.

    You're hungry as shit. Also, you're naked.

    Things seem kind of fuzzy, you don't know why. Sean's around here somewhere. So is Ian, you're sure. Somebody broke your plane. Also, there's some Mouthy Bitch about, you want to punch her. You get that feeling a lot in your life, you've noticed.

    Wat do?

    Suggestins:

    >Loot useful items
    >Acquire garments
    >Acquire food
    >call for help
    >Defenstarate whatever that fucking beeping thing is
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:57 No.17567160
         File1326772620.jpg-(36 KB, 184x184, 1322535313595.jpg)
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    >>17567118
    >>17567092
    Ha, good sports, all of 'em.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:57 No.17567161
    >>17567116
    Why, because I told you what you didn't want to hear?
    No use being offended for someone who is not offended as it makes you look like a cunt, mate.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:57 No.17567165
    Has this quest been archived?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:58 No.17567168
    >>17567157

    We just crashed our plane, and were shot at by our landing strip...

    That clock is getting an assist off the runway.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:58 No.17567173
    >>17567157

    shut up the beeping shit.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:58 No.17567174
    >>17567157
    Wait for ze doktor to show up. They always have the best timing.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:58 No.17567175
    >>17567157
    Acquire Garments
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:58 No.17567176
    >>17567157
    >>17567157
    Garments, then food
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:58 No.17567182
    >Defenstarate whatever that fucking beeping thing is
    This Fuckin' BEEP
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:58 No.17567183
    The angry/violent/irrational response
    natch
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:58 No.17567184
    >>17567157
    Priority 1) Locate bros
    Priority never) everything else
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:58 No.17567186
    >>17567157
    Go outside. Nevermind the pants.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 01/16/12(Mon)22:59 No.17567192
    >>17567157
    ... First. Clothing. Then food. Then loot. Then smash the hell out of the beeping thing.

    Then ask for help. And for the love of god, check on Sean.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:59 No.17567193
    >>17567160
    They're pilots, what did you expect? Their tolerance levels for bullshit is astronomical.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:59 No.17567196
    >>17567157
    use sheets as toga
    locate crew
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:59 No.17567199
    >>17567157
    First off, start new thread. Secondly, call for help, screw clothes, everyone in this base walks around pantsless anyway.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)22:59 No.17567200
    >>17567157
    Pitch the clock out the window. After obtaining needed rest, acquire garments and food.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:00 No.17567203
         File1326772801.png-(155 KB, 2753x1400, strikewitchesworldmaplarge.png)
    155 KB
    >>17567144
    Unfortunately the retconned the earlier map for no real reason.
    Think of it like Ace Combat, Earth-but-not.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:00 No.17567208
    >>17567157
    Disregard pants, acquire bros.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:00 No.17567213
    >Implying we care for Clothes
    Bros Befores Pants
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:00 No.17567214
    >>17567157
    There has to be a pair of pants somewhere on this god forsaken base, right?

    Right?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:00 No.17567219
    Guys, I think this thread has autosaged.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:01 No.17567222
    >>17567214

    Pants, In a Strike-Witch compound?

    You're more likely to find a man
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:02 No.17567235
    >>17567219

    RIDE IT TO THE GROUND!
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:02 No.17567236
    It's bad enough that we crash landed in an area we don't even have permission to be in, let's not go and ruin everyone by walking around naked.

    Clothes, then find the bros, then food. Food preferably with bros in stow.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:02 No.17567238
    >>17567219
    >359 posts and 86 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:02 No.17567239
    >>17567222
    >we are a man in the strike witch compound
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:02 No.17567240
    >>17567214
    Don't be daft.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:03 No.17567245
    clothes, bros, food
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:04 No.17567257
    This better be archived
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:04 No.17567269
    We need a new thread, OP
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:04 No.17567271
    Can we get an archive?
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:05 No.17567277
    Strike Witches: The Quest For Pants
    Also known as 'The Bridge Over the River Kawaii'.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:05 No.17567279
    'chived
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:05 No.17567280
    >>17567257
    First thread wasn't

    >>17564324
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:07 No.17567295
         File1326773223.gif-(147 KB, 320x240, 1213478006457.gif)
    147 KB
    >>17567277
    >The Bridge Over the River Kawaii
    I lost it.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:07 No.17567296
    Archiving thread 17563929
    Thread found.
    Thread is already archived; updating content.
    Sanity checking passed. Continuing with archival.
    Downloading images... 87 found, 0 new. Done.
    Downloading thumbnails... 87 found, 0 new. Done.
    Updating links... 0 full images found. 0 thumbnail links found. 0 deleted image links found. Done.
    Creating file... Done.
    Thread 17563929 is now archived.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:09 No.17567327
    >>17567235

    OH SHIT! WE GOT HIT! AT LEAST SIX HITS FROM A ENEMY AUTO SAGES ON THE GROUND. WE'RE GOING DOWN! SAY AGAIN! GOING DOWN! MAYDAY! LAUNCHING NEW THREAD! SAY AGAIN! PUNCHING OUT TO NEW THREAD
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:12 No.17567364
    >>17567327

    I laughed.
    >> Anonymous 01/16/12(Mon)23:13 No.17567382
    we gatting a new thread or are we done for tonight?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/16/12(Mon)23:13 No.17567383
    >staying up late when I have class in the morning
    bad
    >putting off homework until tomorrow
    worse
    >finding new favorite quest thread on /tg/
    priceless

    Just got caught up, this shit is excellent
    >> planefag 01/16/12(Mon)23:14 No.17567393
    NEW THREAD

    >>17567390?watch#17567390
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 01/16/12(Mon)23:17 No.17567435
    >>17567383
    Oh shit, this just got a recomendation from Papa-N.

    You done good OP...



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