>45 MINUTE LATE THREAD BROUGHT TO YOU BY GOOGLE CHROME: I FUCKING LOVE CRASHING!

>>17686966

I was expecting 7PM. So you're 15 minutes early!

Oh shit, I'm actually here at the start of one for once.

>chrome

Welcome to the botnet, brother.

>>17686953

Uh, ask why?

>>17686953

What do? WHAT DO?

We go shopping.

>>17686988
>Welcome to the botnet, brother.

I'm running the latest update of the 4chan X script, too. DOUBLE BOTNET

Tell her we'll take her out, but she'll need a Striker or hitch a lift back because our plane will be full of Booze and Hookers?

(... and maybe some Blackjack)

>>17686953

"We only have three seats and my crew comes with me. There is a spot on my lap if you want to." Grin like a madman.

We strap her to the plane of course.

Our flight plan is already filed, we need to leave on time, not wait on this french cunt.

Awfully dead in here for the awesomeness that is Strike Witches Quest.

Ask her why she wants to come and who she's going to rape.

>>17686966

Chrome exploding again, planefag?

I have a feeling that Perrine will shoot us before the end of the day.

>>17687237

Wonder what he installed...

I have a guest coming over in 40 minutes and I still need to clean. You make me sad, planefag.

>>17687098
You should been there for the first thread. It was me, NavalAnon and 2 other Anons (I think). I thought /tg/ would hate it.

>>17687019
>This

>>17687292

I've been lurking since thread 2 and occasionally throwing out suggestions. There's more here, we're just waiting for the quest to get rolling before we'll contribute.

>>17687098
>>17687292
I was another of the Anons there for the first one too. Keep up the good work planefag, You rock!

Troll the crap outta Perrine, something along the lines of our lap is the last seat left, hahaha.

Dammit, I've gotta go to work now, so make epicness happen!

>>17687019
>>17687332
Thirded, because why not?

>>17687019
Throw in a wink

>>17687292

Missed that one. Got on at the second. Been here for every one since.

We give no fucks.

Laugh at the sparklebitch. "Hahah. No. You're not." And leave. Also, duck incoming fire.

>Chrome makes Planefag sad

>No Planefag makes me sad fag

>>17687019
>>17687346
Fourthed, because the name of this quest is really Trolling:WW2 edition

>>17687417

Needs the damn tail to be perfect

>>17687417
>Fucken saved

>>17687019
YES! All of my body says. Yes.

Can't believe this hasn't been posted yet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdSj0_Fd4ds

>>17687503
Don't forget our secondary theme song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyXz6eMCj2k

>>17687417
Oh yeah, I never got to thank the anon who made that in the last thread.

Thanks, it really cracked me up after coming back from a shitty exam.

>>17687019
awww yeah

>>17687345
>Troll the crap outta Perrine, something along the lines of our lap is the last seat left, hahaha.

YES. Seconded!

So we are awesome 100% of the time. And when we are not awesome, we are trolling awesomely?

Works for me.

>>17687098
>>17687022
>>17687019
>>17687008
>>17687006
>>17687000
>>17686994


".... why?"

"You can't just go AWOL-"

"I got permission!"

"-leave base without an escort. Besides, I don't trust you. You might bring back a pair of toy handcuffs and a stethoscope with a scorpion in it."

You blink. "Damn, I wish I had thought of that."

Perrine quirks her mouth.

"We only have three seats. Where do you plan to ri-"

"My Striker Unit," she says stiffly, then spins on her heel and stalks towards the door.

She's catching on. You'll need to be quicker to get your shots in from now on.

You round on Charlotte, fire in your eyes. "You knew."

She nods.

"Why - the - WHY YOU NO WARN?" you sputter with indignation.

"You borrowed my motorcycle and didn't put gas in it afterwards," she says saucily. She rises from her chair, pushing it back roughly without taking her eyes off you.

>>17687634
Planefag, don't forget our mission:

We must return Minna's notebook by waiting in her room ... with no pants on.

"I didn't want this to be weird, Sir"

>>17687634

THAT FUCKING BIKE

>>17687634
Fuck me running! I knew we forgot something. We should make it up to Charlotte somehow, she's helped us out a lot.

>>17687634

sigh of resignation. "Want anything for yourself while we're there?" Might as well try to get on her good side more. Maybe she'll cut us some slack next time.

>>17687634
>Small island base
Where get motorcycle gas? Or does she run it off of avgas?

>>17687634
>"You borrowed my motorcycle and didn't put gas in it afterwards,"
Touché

>>17687634
"Sorry, I was too busy being awesome to stop at a gas station manned by some loser"

>>17687634
"Hey, if you want me to pump it up, you just gotta say."

>>17687634
>her bike
She's got a point. I mean, as one pilot to another, and as another American, she's got a point.
Ask if she's got anything else she wants not on the list.

Are we going to ask Sakabroto what she wants?

>>17687725
Be sure to flex your muscles as you sat this .

>>17687649
No, we collect all the relics, then combine them in our inventory to make the secret superplane, the super hornet.

>>17687706
Charlotte's one of nicer, saner, and more useful witches. I'm inclined to be a bit nicer to her than the other.

>>17687744
this or this>>17687725

As long as we're playing Santa Claus should we pick up something for Sanya and Yoshika? They deserve some kind of reward for being the only witches on base to not get up our ass about something.

>>17687725
This.

>>17687772
>super hornet
>superplane

>>17687816

Get everyone sunglasses. Everyone.

>>17687776
Why not both?

>>17687669
Seconded. She's .been pretty bro to us, and we might as well give her a reason not to dick us over if we run into some deeper shit. Also, let's, perhaps, ask other less bitchy witches if they want anything.

>>17687634
WE HAVE SINNED THE GREAT AMERICAN SIN OF DOUCHERY!

... anything else you need? Where do the maintenance guys keep the motor gas anyways?

>>17687816

We hardly even know them yet.

At the most... hmmm... maybe sweets? Or sweet alcohol, just because we can get them all drunk. heh.


Also, ideas people. What would be a good gift to troll Minna?

Why would we ask those whores for anything? Also: We should totally outrun Perrine. Start now or something.

>>17687772
>Super Hornet
>Not the Indestructible Thunderbolt II.

Eh, that's your choice I suppose.

>>17687772
I thought the relics were PANTIES. If we collect them all, something magical is bound to happen...

>>17687848
I'd say sweets. They are kids and they're a treat, especially during wartime.

>>17687858

Fuck off.

She stalks towards you, eyes boring into yours, hand playing with the lapel of her shirt. Rounding the table, she advances on you. You don't realize you're retreating until you bump into the countertop behind you. You stare into her eyes as she gets closer...

... closer...

... very close now...

... her hand reaches out towards you, becoming, inviting... moving right towards YOUR SAMMICH.

You duck under her arm and bolt down the hallway, cradling your precious cargo as Charlotte chases you. Spotting a laundry chute, you sprint over and hurl your hand into it.

Charlotte comes to a skidding halt besides you, and sticks her head into the chute. "Aww, wh'd you do... wait."

You're already halfway down the hall, your sammich still in hand. Ducking behind one of those silly suits of armor decorating this hall, you catch your breath.

"Sup," says Ian's voice from behind a potted plant further down the hallway.

"... what the hell are you doing?"

"What the hell are YOU doing?"

Good point. You decide not to press it. Instead, you inform him of the upcoming journey to East(Christ)church.

"Sounds good. Are you planning any more shenanigans before you we get going?"

Well, are you?

>Visit Witch (Specify)
>Extra actions?
>Inventory?
>Trolling (specify)

Hey I know this might have been better to bring up at the beginning of the thread, or even THE beginning but did we ever get a name for our cocky pilot?

And if everyone wanted to keep him nameless and I'm ruining the fun I'll shut up then.

>>17687858
>using the m-word
WHO SAID THAT!? STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

>>17687816
We did kinda manhandle Yoshika during the fight and she's been pretty bro to us, and Sanya's our new wing... uhh... witch.

>>17687885
>>17687649

>>17687855
How many sidewinders/witches could we fit on a C-130?

Troll Minna, unequip pants.

>>17687858
No, when you combine the panties we collected over four games, we combine them and we get Iron Man's suit. It's kinda big and means we can't enter most doors with it on, but it is fucking sweet.

Didn't you know that? I thought this was /tg/.

>>17687885

visit trude and sakabroto.

they are the only ones we're cool with we aint seen yet. might as well see if they got any shit they need if we're gonna do a shopping run.

alternately, meet a new witch.

>>17687885
We do need to forge that love note, we could do that now or we could have one of the crew do it during the flight.

>>17687885
I say we troll Charlotte with our sammich some more because of lawdy that never gets old.

>>17687885

>Abandoned SAMMICH

SQUADBROKEN.JPG

>>17687920
Oh shit! Changing my vote to this!
Old Vote:
>>17687907

Sorry for massive delays, my internet took a shite. To apologize I'll run for an extra hour tonight. And/or give you all something Shiny. Come up with something appropriate.

>>17687915

We can ask trude what Minna might want.

Then we can choose something terrible.

Nah, lets try to troll the French Tart by getting out of here as quickly as possible.

>>17687948

why do we gotta play crappy tsundere games with minna?

why cant there just be legitimate tension/hatred between opposite gendered characters?

>>17687766
He needs a trollface on his helmet.

>>17687970
I guess because it's fun. Minna's not terribly bad. She just has a massive stick up her ass that needs to be prodded every now and then to remind her that it's there.

>>17687885

My vote goes for visiting Hartmann and Barkhorn, because really, we all need more Germans.

>>17687931

>>17687970

You have a better course of action? Put it forward. I'm actually stumped on how to take the next step.

>>17687909

I like where this is going.

>Visit Witch (Specify)
trude and sakabroto

>Trolling (specify)
Let Charlotte capture the SAMMICH... but eat all of the bratwurst first! Then run like hell.

>>17687885
Visit Sakamoto.

She's always been pretty bro to us and our aircrew. Might as well continue that by asking if she wants us to pick up something while we're out.

That, and she would come at us with that sword of hers if we went alcohol shopping and didn't get her anything.

>>17687943
Have Minna walk into her room naked after a shower. Then our plan shall be complete.

>>17688012
Awesome, that is a great troll! The empty victory!

Visit Trude. See if she wants anything.

Continue eating our sandwich before Yeager catches up!

It's a good thing I wasn't here for the very first WAT DO, because I would have had you smack the shit out of her for drawing a gun without using it. Firearms 101, you little slut.

>>17688034

MOAR EMPERASQUE, man!

>>17687970
Welcome to /tg/, we love tsunderes. In rare cases, we are tsundere for tsundere, leading to very interesting situations.

>>17687943
GIVE US A SHINY HAT

>>17687992

just do some silly shit to pass the time until we go back to england then wave our gigantic dicks in all of our old buddies faces about getting ace-in-a-day then go on zany shopping advetures with perrine, ending in some sort of cliffhanger?

if we really bust play stupid stsundere games with someone, trude is also a stickler for the rules but much less of a cunt about it and never tries to blue v blue anyone. also, those twintales.

>>17688050
>>17635403

>Get our crew together
>Find Sakabroto if we can/ask if she wants anything
>Fuck it, Trude,Yoshika, and Sanya can be included in this if we can find them

>>17688053

>Outtsun the tsundere

Man, I miss Maid Quest...

>Extra actions?
Try to troll the French Tart by getting out of here as quickly as possible. Preferably forcing her to race after us. Wait till she is in the shower or otherwise occupied, then bolt.

>Inventory?
We need to do that love note. But this kind of thing needs the hand of an expert. And we need a sample of Minna's writing to copy. It might be a little risky to do with with Perrine tagging along, her hawkeyes will spot that pad from a mile away.

Also, Minna's stationary is personalized right? So to write a love note we only need one page, not the whole book. Artifacts and all that.

GUYS, SAKAMOTO'S SWAG IS SWITCHED TO WEP!

>forge a love note to sakabroto

how would pilot know that there was any sort of suspected thing there? are you suggesting we metagame.

We should leave immediatly for our destination and get it all done before anyone can stop us. If we have an escort, how will we get things that people will hate?

>>17688147
Hell no, we just picked the witch with the best sense of humor. They are friends after all.

For those who need images:
>>>/c/1784117

>>17688147

Because Perrine went total batshit on us for speaking with Sakabroto?

>>17688147
is to troll Frenchie, who has already warned us off by way of strangulation.

>>17688147

Not really. It's plausible.

Frenchcunt threatened to kill us if we got too close to Sakamoto.

>We can extrapolate she likes her

We hate/dislike/tsundere Minna

>All we need to implicate her into this since we have her notepad.

That Minna actually LIKES sakamoto is a happy coincidence. /trollface.jpg

"I have a few Witches to talk too," you tell Ian. "Then we're leaving. An hour or two."

"I thought we were going to leave after nightfall? Crash at Eastchurch, pick up our shit and the booze and return around noon?"

"Change of plans," you say. "Somebody decided to assign themselves as our escort. I don't want to be around for that."

Ian sticks his head out of the ferns and scowls at the crotch of the armored suit, between who's legs you're squinting. "Aren't you going a little hard on those girls? They've been great, all things considered. Why don't you back off?"

"It's Perrine."

Ian ducks into the ferns again almost instantly. "Right. Nevermind."

You wander around the dormitories at random with no luck before going to the lounge, where you find Trude and Erica, well, lounging.

"Uh, Trude? Me and mine are making a jaunt to Eastchurch later tonight. While we're off-base, is there anything anybody wants us to pick up...?"

"Oh, my god, yes!" Trude says. Erica is actually looking awake for a change.

"Erica, could you go find the others and tell them somebody's making a run to town?"

"Eastchurch isn't town," Erica complains. "They don't know the shops." She lays down again, yawning.

"Erica, please?"

"Why won't you do it? I'll stay here with...." Erica evaluates Trude's expression carefully. You're looking at the back of Trude's head, so you don't know what's up. "Okay. Okay, geez, I'll find them." Reluctantly she rises and jogs off.

>>17688182
>Erotic Asphyxiation
ftfy

>>17688219
Nononononono! Not Trude! I actually like her! I don't want to shoot her down!

>Visit Witch (Specify)
Sakabroto, Yoshika to tell of our journey and to ask if they want anything. They have to provide money for more expensive items.

Zucchini, if we find her, for some light hearted trolling.

>Extra actions?

Wait until Perrine is otherwise occupied and leave. Preferably if she's in a shower. She can catch up, yeah? Probably put in some practice with the new plane dicking about with her.

>Inventory?

Get sum dakka just in case. Fucking martians everywhere, you never know. Sean w/ Basket hilted claymore and get you other guys some extra if you can find it.

>Trolling (specify)

Notepad requires some special attention, since forging anything on it will be pretty difficult, and she WILL know about it if news comes around of some particular shenanigans.

Suggestion: Use it not for trolling, but for a specific, important purpose. Perhaps this could be used to requisition some important items later.

Get some light trolling in with Zucchini, just because. All in good fun.

>>17688219
>Ask Trude, Sakabroto, Yoshika, and Sanya if they need anything
>All the witches
Welp

wait, is trude trying to get some alone time with us?

>>17688225
Love Note has to suggest that Sakabroto likes that shit.

Get booze for Sakabroto and possibly a few Germans.

>>17688295

well we do need to at least get introduced to all of em eventually.

also, lol eilas gonna be pissed we scared sanya out of the kitchen and then threw them both out of her bed. oh well, whats one more hater huh?

>>17688334
Hey, as long as she doesn't know we were the ones that bounces her.

>>17688346
bounced* even

>>17688346
>>17688357
>Maintain high altitude when we leave.
>Catch frenchy on radar
>Bounce her ass

>>17688219

"So you're making a run to Eastchurch? Why not take the ferry to the mainland?"

"That's the 442nds base," you explain. It's actually a boggy shithole near the cold, miserable cost and the natural nesting ground of fog-banks, an airbase so miserable the RAF gave it to the Navy, but you don't add that. Being based at Castle Barin is going to have some perks, for sure. "We need to pick up our personal effects. Like our clothes."

"Oh," Trude says, seeming to brighten a bit. "Well, you don't need pants here. If you're officially in the unit, I mean."

You frown. "How do you already know that?"

"Duh. It's a small unit completely consisting of women. The rumor mill may as well be telepathic around here."

Well, she's got a point there. "So, did *you* want anything while we were out?"

Trude shrugs. "Not really. And anything I did want you can't even get, due to the war."

You nod sagely, as if this is a terrible burden that nobody can avoid. "What's your addiction?"

"... schnapps," she admits quietly. "Mint schnapps. But with the Martian base in Normandy, and every plane flying the Germany-Russia route loaded with ammo or war materiel... it's not like schnapps is being imported anymore. And the British sure don't bother making it, not any worth a d- worth tasting, you know?"

"Don't I know it. Hey, at least we can still get coffee!"

"At twice the price," Trude grumbles.

You shrug. "It *is* all overland now. But South America is still growing it, so we still drink it."

>>17688390
YES!

>>17688403
we definitely need pants. thats something else we should try to get the witches used to

>>17688403

By dammit, we shall find this girl some mint schnapps!

>>17688411
I second this like the first of the north star.

>>17688403
>"Well, you don't need pants here. If you're officially in the unit, I mean."

planefag, do you have a paypal account? I need to give you ALL MY MONEY, fuckin laughed my pants off

>>17688438
But after we get them all to FINALLY wear pants, we should go without.

>>17688403

Tertiary bonus mission active: aquire schnapps

>>17688443
Find some and dole it out for good perfomance, more like.

>>17688444
Let's keep the tradition alive.

>>17688403

There must be some displaced Karlslanders in Britannia who brew the thing.

QUEST GOAL ADDED.

(Planefag, need to find out what Minna likes as well)

>>17688464
This sounds about right.

>>17688443
>>17688468

If we are getting schnapps then we are getting schnapps for us, I mean, sure she could buy it off us for say, wearing pants for the next month, but that is a big maybe.

>>17688464

Eila and Sanya are the closest to wearing pants. They'd be easiest to convert.

>>17688403
New priority: Secure schnapps.

Its the perfect drink for 14 year old girls, it tastes sweet and they wont bitch about the burn. Get some innoculous flavor like lemonaid, get ALL the witches wasted with a lemonaid stand 'for the orphans'.

>>17688517
They can pay us by wearing pants.

>>17688473
>>17688504
these

>Aviators for everyone

>>17688552
YES! OH GOD YES!

>>17688403

You and Trude talk casually for a good ten minutes, just shooting the breeze, until Erica returns, waving some paper. Several sheets of paper, in fact. "Everybody wants everything!"

Well, on an island base that's to be expected, you suppose. You look over it briefly. "Nothing for Luuchini?"

"She threw a hubcap at me when I tried to wake her up," Erica grumps.

"And Sakamoto?"

Erica shrugs. "She just said to make some of your payload the 'good stuff' and not the 'cheap shit.'" Whatever that means.

Oh, Sakamoto. She seems to have a remarkably thorough knowledge of everything that goes on in this huge old castle. You produce a pencil from your pocket and add "flask" next to Sakamoto's name. Either for her, or to replace Sean's.

You purse your lips and tap the eraser-end of the pencil against them. "Hmm. Is there anything Sanya or Yoshika would like, but are too polite to ask for?"

Trude smiles. "You sure have them pegged, all right. Yoshika has been dying for some fish."

You quirk an eyebrow. "What, you don't get any here?"

"She wants a crack at it before it's cooked."

"Oh, she cooks?"

"No, she eats it raw."

You give Trude a look of complete and utter horror, and she shrugs helplessly. "She calls it soo-shee or something. But we only get cooked salmon here. The market in Eastchurch should have a good variety - if you have time, of course."

"And Sanya?"

"A pitch pipe."

You blink. "Wait, what?"

Erica hops over to the grand piano decorating one corner of the room and runs her hand down the keyboard, making you wince.

"I see. Yeah, guess that would be hard to scrounge up on an airbase."

"Oh, one more thing," Erica says, and you look back at her. She's holding Sean's .38 revolver out to you, butt-first. "Sean dropped this last night after he saved my life."

You stare at Erica suspiciously, eyeing her skimpy outfit up and down. "Just where the hell were you hiding THAT?"

She winks. "Guess."

>>17688552
YES!

>>17688531
>Getting 14 year old drunk so the DO wear pants

We're like the Anti-Lolicons.

>>17688463
If we go pantsless, we need a speedo/bannana hammoc to go with it.

>>17688552
Hell Yes!

>>17688403
>>17688438
We need to acquire the most hideous boxers possible.

>>17688567
"...Panties?"

>>17688567

"Not interested."

>>17688615

gigantic boxers that might as well be shorts, basically defeating the purpose.

boxers with hearts on em.

>>17688567
"Up your ass, prison-style"

>>17688552
GOD DAMN DO IT FUCK

>>17688567

"Maybe when you're older."

>>17688583
>>17688615
Both.

>>17688531
Would work better if they knew it was hootch, I was going for full stealth to get them all drunk then use their suggestible state to get them to put some clothes on, no way they'd pay for lemonaid by actually dressing.

Wait. Why dont witches just wear dresses, they could be decently long and still not get in the way of the strike units....?

>>17688567

The little devil saunters off, looking quite pleased with herself, and with your expression.

"She hid it in the piano," Trude whispers to you. "Ignore her, she's not used to having men around she can harass."

"She has 250 kills?" you mutter in disbelief.

With that task complete, you dash to your room, strap on your sidearm (with four rounds left for it, since nobody in the entire base seems to have .45 ACP to spare, just more fucking 9mm,) slip on your uniform cap, and dash to the tarmac as fast as possible, checking for Frenchy at every corner. You make it to the last doorway, check your Six for the Hound of Gaul, and make it to your aircraft unnoticed.

Except for Sakamoto, that is. She's walking around your Black Widow as Ian and Sean gush over the new features to her.

"Ah. Our man of the hour," Sakamoto says loudly, making all three of you wince. "Relax. Perrine's in the dorms, primping."

Ian glances around the cavernous hangar suspiciously and edges closer to the plane.

"You can trust her," you assure him. "Sakamoto has a funny way of knowing everything that's going on."

Sakamoto throws her head back and laughs in that booming way of hers, then leans closer to you and lifts her eyepatch to reveal that strange retina of hers. "I see all. I hear all. I know all!" She turns to Ian. "Don't worry, I won't tell Perrine until you're in the air.

"Actually, could you give us..." you think, guesstimating the time-to-altitude of your new engines. "About fifteen minutes?"

Sakamoto grins at you devilishly. "No problem."

She's about to leave you to your devices when one last thing hits you. "Ah, Sakamoto, about Minna..."

She stops, and doesn't turn to face you. "Yes?"

"I'm picking up some treats for Sanya and Yoshika. Minna... she isn't that bad, we just got off on the wrong foot, and..."

"Yes?" Sakamoto asks again, and her tone is unreadable.

>>17688717
Air intakes.

>>17688721
I need you to write her a love note implying you enjoy Erotic Asphyxiation

>>17688721

>sakamoto unreadable


that seems not-good

>>17688721

If this isn't the plan to get the exact opposite I officially hate you.

>>17688750
>>17688750

>>17688769

Eh, we still pulled a number on her the last time.

This is a make-nice-a-little gift.

>>17688721
'whatshouldwepickupforherwhilewe'reout?' Said very quickly.

>>17688750
>>17688787
SHE HAS A SWORD. We like our dick where it is, thank you.

>>17688798

Hate you.

>>17688769

Rule of Acquisition # 76: Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.

>>17688810
I believe the word you're looking for is Tsun.

>>17688818
I just started to watch ds9 due to playing sto and I love quark

>>17688750
This, and then, quickly, ask what she'd want.

>>17688808
My vote
Also, fake a cough right before it

>>17688808
>>17688837
fuck that shit. we're just being nice, not asking her out, you faggots

>>17688845
Also WE GIVE NO FUCKS. Stop being pussies.

>>17688827

Die in a fire.

What do you think Minna would want?

Was that so goddamn hard?

There will be no dating of Minna, not while there is Shirley or Trude around.

This is the perfect chance to get the note written, we have to do it!

>>17688883
How about, there will be no dating of anyone. Witches and hoes, man. We're just in it for the ass.

>>17688721
>sticking with 4 .45 ACP rounds when there is an abundace of 9mm
We compensating for something or just stupid? 4 big boolits is less dakka and less killy than hundreds of smaller boolits.

Whatever we get Minna we have to get it to her in a trollish way

We've got a reputation to uphold after all

Don't need to be a dick, just need to mock her

>>17688721

We're getting her a nice pair of pants, what are her sizes?

>>17688930
I think we should wait for the next trip and get everyone pants.

>>17688930
this and the note, a great combo

>>17688721
I don't know where this is going. Is Mio jealous?

>>17688721

>Hound of Gaul

Why can't I stop laughing?

Hey don't we have velcro now? Or snap fasteners? We could always invent tear-away pants like a boss.

Things to do:
- Get a crate of .45 APC ammo. Better to have too much than too little right? Ian uses .45 too. Seam uses .38, get some of that too.
- Don't forget the sandwich shenanigans! D:

>sticking with 4 .45 ACP rounds when there is an abundace of 9mm
We compensating for something or just stupid? 4 big boolits is less dakka and less killy than hundreds of smaller boolits.

SOLUTION: ACQUIRE TOMMY GUN.

>>17688973

They're BFFs. While Mio's pretty bro. She'd probably be quite angry if we were going to do something really mean to Minna.

>>17688721

"... a peace offering?"

Sakamoto turns half-way to face you, but only enough for you to see her profile. "I... I don't know."

WAT.

"Something useful, I'd think. That's always nice for anybody to get. Even if they don't use it, it's more then a gag, or a toy, you know?"

You nod.

"Have a nice trip. I have a very slow walk to make to Perrine's quarters." She waves, laughs again, and stalks into the gloom of the hangar.

Your aircraft has been serviced and fueled to 50% full, which is more then enough for the 26-mile jaunt from the Dover cliffs to Eastchurch. You roar down that silly landing strip and into the air without a hitch, and, minding the engine's funny habits, begin climbing for altitude.

"Looks like a storm front's building over France," Ian observes. "It'll be blowing clouds in here before long."

Excellent.

"What does Minna want?"

Are we just going to be that one asshole everyone knows who just doesn't know when to stop with the pranks?

>>17688845
Its perfectly in character. If you've been paying attention to how we think of Minna, we are pretty fucking tsundere. I just notice and use that.

>>17689012
Get her some flowers. It's a good 'I'm sorry I yelled at you" present

>>17688987
Velcro is not until 1948.

I think we should do a bit of looking around for Minna.

>>17689012

...Oh Hells' Bells. We're gonna have to come up with this ourselves.

>>17689012
>Even if they don't use it, it's more then a gag, or a toy, you know?"
So....a dildo?

>>17689039

I like the pants idea.

>>17689023

We despise the girl. We think her unfit for command. We did get some measure of respect for her when seeing her deal with the brass. That's the current situation regarding Minna. Don't read your stupid shit into this.

>>17689040

Dildo it is!

Though we should be sure to personalise it for her, maybe a custom paint job.

Get a dildo, make a joke about it. (We're going to a fetish shop anyways for perrine.)

Then get her something useful. Maybe a knife?

>>17689064

Seconded.

>>17689064
>>17689077

Ass-less chaps.

pants that are obviously too big.

well you LOOK like an KL...

Get ripaway pants, like strippers use.

>>17689077

Perrine won't get anything. That bitch can get her stuff herself.

>>17689089
That should be the obvious gag-gift

>>17689090

XL*

derp.

>>17689012

At around fourteen minutes after takeoff, Ian breaks in. "About time to take a look, eh?" You silently roll the big P-61 inverted, and all three of you stare downwards at Castle Barin five thousand feet below. The sun is setting, long golden rays slashing across England to the West, and the darkening clouds gathering in the air serve to hide your black-painted P-61 nicely against the sky.

"There she is," Ian says with satisfaction, and sure enough there's the almost imperceptible blur of something tiny and distant tearing along the castle's runway. Compared to an aircraft, a Strike Witch is *tiny.*

"Already lost her," you say as soon as Perrine makes it over the water. "Damn, I didn't think about visibility."

"You stupid dink, you've got a gun-laying scope in your instrument panel," Sean says. "Look towards your dick. You know where that is, right? Just above it... riiiight there, good boy, it's the round glass thing with all the green lights."

You grunt, conceding the point, and shove the P-61s nose down. With a flash of insight, you cut the throttles, hurtling out of the sky as quietly as possible.

Which is not very. But still.

>>17689040
>>17689040
>>17689040
HILARIOUS

>>17689068
We despise the girl.
>tsun
We think her unfit for command.
>tsun
We did get some measure of respect for her when seeing her deal with the brass.
>dere
That's the current situation. Don't read stupid shit into this.
>tsun

>>17689106

bounce the shit outta perrine!

wait thatll blow our cover as the bouncer...

ah shit whatever lets do this.

>>17689106

>>17689106
So, are we going to throttle the engines back up just as we're on top of Perrine and scare the bejeezus out of her?

>>17689012

I have an idea. We get her a nice notepad, to replace the one she threw at us, and a pair of pants. Maybe a fancy pen or something too.

We fold the pants up in such a way that we can hide the notepad in the pants, and present the gift to Minna. That way, we keep up the outward apperance of trolling while still giving her a worthwhile present.

>>17689126

You are a massive weeaboo dickhole.

>>17689139
Wouldn't be that hard, even if they are assless chaps, they are going to be so big she could make a sail out of them.

>>17689139
That actually sounds like a good idea.
But will the pants be about the right size, or hilariously too big?

>>17689068
She may be unfit for command, but she's the only witch whose shown any leadership ability. The girls need a leader, and we'll have to make due with her. We can't do it ourselves because (at the moment) we aren't a witch, and thus fundamentally out of touch with them.

Gag Gift = Dildo/Mold of our Dick contained in a box

Other Gift = A watch of some sort, or a notebook.

Alternate Psyche-out gift = Her notepad with a few pages torn out of it.

>>17689167

Parachute pants.

Get her a pocket watch with a picture of us doing a trollface

>>17689177
Here

I like >>17689139 as well.

>>17689175

I stated the facts about our feelings regarding Minna. Need states that she has to stay in command. Doesn't matter that we think a brick could do a better job.

>>17689106

Perrine is not paying attention at all, tearing overland as she makes best time towards Eastchurch. You imagine she's cursing like a sailor as well. Or Sakamoto. Same difference. Her best time is pretty damn good, too - in a straight drag you doubt you could catch her with anything resembling surprise.

With the dive assist, though... now that's different. You level out as low as possible to keep Perrine out of the ground-clutter, and the scope in front of you begins showing returns as Sean engages it for you. You've already lost the Witch against the darkening terrain and sky, but the scope picks her out nicely. Something about magic engines in operation; they play merry hell with radio waves, so if you look for the snarly ugly thing on any scope, that's your Witch. You guide closer with your scope until you acquire her visually.

"Nice view from here," Ian says wryly, then flips on the radio as you close on Perrine at high velocity. "SAC-RAE-BLOO, SWEETCHEECKS!" he yodels as you thunder under Perrine at 460 MPH.

Ian clicks off the radio almost immediately. "Ignoring her on the R/T will burn her ass good," he says smugly.

"Sounded as if you like her ass just the way it is," Sean snickers from the back, and Ian remains silent, ever the unflappable gentleman.

>>17689139
I say we go with this. It's both trolling and caring. Which is pretty much what the two sides want to do.

>>17689177
>Mold of our dick
No that would just be ultra-creepy. Stick with the dildo.
But it has to be a classy dildo. No boring grey steel, something like bronze.
And we hide it inside pants or flowers.

>>17689214
>SAC-RAE-BLOO, SWEETCHEECKS!
Oh, that was great. We'll get it when we finally land, but it was worth it.

>>17689238
Let's don't go with the dildo plan.

>>17689214
>Worth it

waggle our wings to rub the message in and head to our objective

>>17689177
Perhaps one of those fancy watches with altimeters built in? A pilot would find that useful. Works for both gifts, wrap watch around dildo, or jam in pockets so she finds the real gift after putting on some damn pants. Also, buy aviators for errybody.

>>17689139
I agree with this course of action. It's practicality wrapped in a thick layer of trolling. literally.

Casting my vote for Pants+ Altimeter watch

>>17689266
Do those even exist at the time? I mean, you did have analog computers and slide rules, but still.

If kosher, then by all means go for it.

Aviators for everyone (assuming we can afford it)

>>17689266
An altimeter-watch sounds nice.

I think the aviator glasses are the one thing that everyone can agree on, at least.

>>17689214

You use your remaining smash to zoom-climb a bit, though you only grab about a thousand feet before your surplus runs out. You open the throttles a bit to keep climbing, but not too much - even though you've got enough, fuel is a crucial war materiel and you're not supposed to waste it.

Climbing to altitude to bounce Witches is a training exercise, as far as you're concerned. They need to learn from somebody, you know?

"Oh she maaad," Sean drawls. "Coming in hot."

You shrug. "Let her. I don't have the energy to play around." Or the altitude or energy to actually win if you tried, though you don't say that. "She climbing for a perch."

"Negatory, right up the ass."

You and Ian both snort, and you hear the top turret whirr as it slews around, slaved to Seans remote gunsight. A few seconds later, Ian keys his mic. "Daaaakkkadakkadakka honey, you're dead!"

"What! I've got a bead on YOU!"

"And Sean says you're the prettiest target he ever pointed the turret at," Ian says.

"I did not," Sean grumps uselessly.

"Well - I - I have a shield! That's legitimate Witch tactics!"

They go on like that for some time as you motor across England and towards Eastchurch.

>>17689295
if we can't, well we shoplift

>>17689198
Which is why we need to train her (in our own unconventional fashion). And we can't train her if she won't listen to us. Many Drill Sargents go into the barracks at night and give the recruits a pep talk once in a while. She's no good to anybody if she has an emotional breakdown, and being a little bit nice to her might prevent this.

I'm for the altimeter-watch and aviators.

You people should stick with gifts that no one wants for everyone, we aren't santa being a jerk is a full time occupation and you cannot afford to play favorites. If you do they'll want something nice EVERY TIME you go to town, but if you get them all shit or things that will cost them in other ways, then they wont ask, which is kinda what we want.

>>17689175
We might be an ass, but we are not stupid either. Fake dong would be in the stupid category.

>>17689315
Second

>>17689266

They certainly had watches made for pilots (which you must call a CHRONOMETER at every opportunity for maximum pilot arrogance,) and they typically did/do have a rotating ring around the glass (bezel?) with numbers on it, which you could use as a slide-rule style device for various things. indicated-vs-true airspeed being a common one, things like that. Perhaps somebody could find pictures?

>>17689319
I believe one of our original goals is to turn all the witches into cocky hot shot don't give a fuck pilots. Which includes aviators.

As for paying for them. wouldn't the airbase have some?

>>17689314

Point taken.

>captcha: Gertrude dunera1

>>17689315
>>17689336
If it exists, yus.

>>17689345
quick Google search found this

>forgot this was on tonight
>check tg
>have to catch up all threads err thread

>>17689310

As you approach Eastchurch, you find, with absolutely no surprise whatsoever, that the shithole bog the English call "moors" and you call a "shithole bog" is completely socked-in. The sun has set, as well, and in the darkness the landing lights of the airstrip cannot be seen.

"Aww, look at little Miss Frenchy," Sean chuckles.

"We can't see her, asshole, she's behind us. Stop being cute."

"She's reaching a hand out towards our tail boom, not ten feet away from it," Sean chuckles. "Like she wants to grab onto it. Probably doesn't think I can see it in the dark."

An idea grabs you. "AlllllRIGHTY THEN." You take control of the radio and key your mic button. "Perrine, we're about to land. I'll go in first, let the ground crews know a Witch is coming so they can get ready to store your Striker." And with that, you abruptly cut the engines and push the nose down, dropping away from Perrine.

"You cheap bastard," Ian says, not entirely without feeling.

>>17689359
>As for paying for them. wouldn't the airbase have some?

NOW you are thinking like a military man.

>>17689389
Here the source:
http://forums.watchuseek.com/f7/forum-needs-classic-aviator-watch-photo-64654.html

There's a whole forum for these, apparently.

>>17689442
I feel tingly.

>>17689427
Odds that Perrine will put some 9mm rounds through our dicks by the end of the war?

So, a dildo, watch and Aviators for everyone?

Just call us santa.

>>17689442
As for paying, we are commissioned during wartime, the fuck else is all of our pay doing other than looking pretty in a bank for when we get out?

>>17689549
even money

>>17689427

To her credit, Perrine manages to go a whole thirty seconds before breaking radio silence. "I can't see the landing lights. Can't your squadron even make bright lights? Lord have Mercy!"

Eastchurch is technically an RAF naval station airbase, and much of the base personnel are English. If there was any hope of them lighting the place up better for Perrine, she blew it the instant she talked rudely with a French accent.

You take the sheets of paper of the shopping list and rub them together to make 'static.' "Lights uh - full bla - posi - ove-"

"You're breaking up," Perrine says, voice strained. "Come in, over?"

There's a sharp crack of thunder, and the Widow begins swaying slightly as the wind picks up a little. Landing is going to be Fun.

"We can't see you, come in, over? Perrine, where are you? Land already, would you!?" you say softly into your mouthpiece, pulling your mask open a bit so the engine's roar will obscure the message.

"I can't see the ground!" Perrine wails. "There's fog everywhere, and it's dark! Fire flares, please!"

>>17689310
Something I still don't quite grok. When the pilot locks the turret it acts like a gun blister. But when it unlocks and the other crew aim it, how do they see where it is pointed? Do they have some sort of scope or sight, or do they just watch the stream of tracers? Google isn't much help.

>No that would just be ultra-creepy. Stick with the dildo. But it has to be a classy dildo. No boring grey steel, something like bronze. And we hide it inside pants or flowers.
I wouldn't suggest actually doing this. But if you get a nice big basket of beautiful flowers, you could hide the dildo upright in the middle. Eventually the flowers will wilt away and...

>We fold the pants up in such a way that we can hide the notepad in the pants, and present the gift to Minna. That way, we keep up the outward apperance of trolling while still giving her a worthwhile present.

- EXTRA TROLLING:
- Hide the notepad and pen in a pocket.
- Wear the pants when you go to meet Minna.
- "I have a gift for you!"
- Take off pants.
- Fold up pants nicely, hand pants to Minna.
- ???????
- RUN

>>17689549

Zero.

>>17689427
approaching unity.

worth it though.

>>17689549
150%.

>>17689549
I give it a ten% chance.

The minna kills us? 75%

Look at this baby. I say we get it for her, if we can find it.

>>17689564
The other two crew have a gun sight which they aim. Turret then aims at their aimpoint using electronics.

You can't waste flares on something like this! We'll get some lights sorted when we land and get a cup of tea.

>>17689563
Hmmm...will we wait until she cries?

>>17689564
Both the forward gunner and rear radar operator/gunner have moving sights that move with the turret when they're active.

dice+100d100+2

>>17689564
>But when it unlocks and the other crew aim it, how do they see where it is pointed?

Watch this video of a restored, power-operated B-25 tail gun being moved. See how the black box in the tail gunner's compartment is moving around? That's his reflector gunsight. It's slaved, via remote, to the guns. On the P-61, the rear radar operator and the guy sitting behind the pilot in the front (who's job is specifically "gunner," as well as co-pilot,) have similar sights, and they can transfer control from one to the other. They also had chairs mounted on swivels, so they could track with it.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hbbVwglAGc

Or...she could just crash and burn. There is that.

give her flare i guess. she aint that great a pilot she might legitimately die.

>>17689635

Still a witch. We can dream though.

>>17689564
Im leaning to properly sized stripper pants, so even our troll gift will end up being useful. TRY to get perrine to find comfortable (aka slightly loose) pants, what is loose to her should be snug to minna.

30min long ww2-era video on the P-61
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo-f2x8T7d8

>>17689635
Yeah, so why are we trying to get a witch killed, exactly?

Low-visibility landings are a BITCH if you don't have instruments to rely on. Who's idea was this, anyway?

>>17689683
i was JUST watching that

Yeah, this seems like we are being a tad too dickish

>>17689686
Watched that whole thing a few threads ago.

>>17689685

Stop crying. She can just stay in the air.

witches can fly super slow and VTOL anyway. worst that happens she ends up landing in a bit of water and getting wet. she can swim.

>>17689694
It's actually not even dickish. It's a court-martial worthy offense under the Uniform Military Code of Justice.

Man, after our constant airborne trolling, one of these days some poor Martian motherfucker's gonna try bouncing a Witch and get torn to shreds for his trouble.

I vote we DON'T kill the witch, even if it is perrine.

ONLY because of the fact that minna will probably kill us where we stand if thats the case.

>>17689563

"You should go smoke a cock, buddy," Ian says to you, and keys his mic switch. "Perrine, listen for our engines. Can you hear them?"

"Distantly, I'm not sure where you are?"

You hear the roar of air entering Ian's cockpit over the intercom, and something bright flashes in the night above you. "See that?"

"Yes!" Perrine says, and the relief in her voice makes you feel pretty low.

You remember the choking, and the gun, and feel much better almost immediately. But still.

"I can hear you better now!" Perrine says, which is no surprise because you've throttled up again, flying the downwind leg by experience and familiarity.

"Okay, we're going to use our radar system to guide onto the runway. You stay right behind us and you can land with us, okay?"

"O-okay," Perrine says, sounding tremulous.

Sean configures the radar, and before long you see the bright flash of the airbase's directional radio beam flash on your radar. You go through the requisite landing-request chatter, keep one ear cocked to the auditory tones that are keeping you lined up with the runway, and soon enough you see the ground - about two seconds before your wheels slam into it, which is average. Having landed here many times before you know exactly where the ground is on the altimeter, but even for a good pilot, landing at an unfamiliar, socked-in airfield is a bit nerve-wracking - the ASL given on the charts isn't always exactly accurate.

"She's down," Sean says.

You obey the ATC like a good little boy and taxi over to your old revetment, shutting down the engines with lightning speed, kicking open the bottom trapdoor, dropping out of the aircraft without using the ladder and you bolt for a hangar almost the instant your feet touch tarmac.

Perrine catches you anyways.

>>17689727

And why would that be? "Oh no! Somebody flying a plane is forced to land! Better throw someone not involved into prison!"

>>17689737
FUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

>>17689750
>implying perrine isn't batshit insane.

>>17689737

>>17689737
oh lord who art in heaven, hallowed-slightly-more-than-us be thy name. please let us leave this conversation with as many limbs as we entered with

>>17689737
DANGER WILL ROBINSON

>>17689634
Amazing stuff... It boggles the mind sometimes how much technology we had back then, years before the microchip. This kind of electronic targeting was pretty rare right? I've seen plenty of videos of men literally door-gunning for large bombers and they must have done it by eye. Can't imagine how they fared at night.

>>17689727
Dude she's a witch, she has shields. The worst thing that will happen is she gets her panties snagged on a weathervane or goes for a swim.

>>17689753

>>17689737
Ian, you god damn softy!

>>17689737
Problem?

>>17689785

The problem is that we didn't tell them what a stupid whore she's been to us. Maybe they'd have gone with us on this prank.

>"You should go smoke a cock, buddy," Ian

yeah, our crew is siding against us with the witches.

maybe we should reel it in a little.


ONLY A LITTLE though.

>>17689737
DOWN DOWN DOWN USE YOUR BURNERS PILOT!

Face our destiny, not with trepidation, but with courage.

Do not fear fate.

>>17689737

Nothing wrong here, though it wouldn't hurt to get her to consider getting some better sensor gear so bouncing her wouldn't be so easy. That and we're REALLY pressed for time so if she has something to say she can say it walking.

>>17689802

Nope.

we're being too dickish. Really.

>>17689737
"Hey, Perrine."

>>17689821

Put it back into your pants.

>>17689800
WE MUST TELL THE CREW WHAT AN UDDER BITCH THE FRENCH ONE IS! WITH THE GOD DAMN STRANGLING AND ALL!

>>17689821
see
>>17689762
and
>You remember the choking, and the gun

>>17689737
"Ok... Dick move, but you DID have a gun pointed at me"

>>17689750
We're not uninvolved. She's flying with us, on our wing, we abandon her and let her die, it's criminal negligence.

True, the gun thing alone would earn her a pistol-whipping elsewhere.

>>17689737
>>17689737
>Payback sucks, huh?
HIIIIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE

>>17689778
>Amazing stuff... It boggles the mind sometimes how much technology we had back then, years before the microchip. This kind of electronic targeting was pretty rare right? I've seen plenty of videos of men literally door-gunning for large bombers and they must have done it by eye.

Depends on build year. It wasn't rare, exactly, just expensive. The B-17 was originally built in the late 1930s, if you watch Memphis Belle clips you can see how the B-17 tail gun sight was configured - just a cable system to move a little iron-sight mockup in synch with the guns. And then you get to the B-29 made a few years later, which had all-remote operated gun turrets, slaved to a mechanical computer, which could assign any number of turrets to any one remote control "gunners" station. And fully pressurized, too - big contrast to the blokes hanging their asses out in the wind on a B-17 waist gun, aiming it themselves and looking down the sights. Or the Norden bombsight, a really good mechanical computer. Or the E6B, a pilots slide-rule that's still in use today, it's so effective.

A lot of planes didn't get wanted upgrades like better superchargers (The P-61 being one of 'em) simply because they were expensive and other planes needed them more.

>>17689854

We didn't abandon her. We were right there. Just not mouthfeeding her.

>>17689856
or the choking thing.
actually the choking thing is an actual probable case for court marshall TBH.

>>17689802

I think normally they wouldn't mind, but this time leaving a young girl up in the sky without a clue where the airstrip is was rather a bit much for a jerk move. Landing is bad enough without making a nightmare of it.

But whatever, one of the crew covered it. No harm done and we got to be a asshole some more.

>>17689802
>yeah, our crew is siding against us with the witches.
Then we are obviously doing well in our role as liaison officer by building inter-unit camaraderie.
That's our story and we're going to stick with it.

>>17689861

>>17689750
Because if she crashed and died because we were deliberately fucking with her on a low-vis approach, it would be negligent manslaughter. Even if she survived, it would be reckless endangerment of friendly forces.

Both of these are court-martial offenses. Even if it DIDN'T go to court-martial, we could be removed from flight status as a punitive measure.

>>17689807
>Bearbaiting

why u make me remember dis

Hey planefag: when we get the chance, make sure to tell her the following:
"Hey, let's make this abundantly clear: You NEVER FUCKING POINT A GUN AT SOMEONE UNLESS YOU'RE GOING TO KILL THEM. You ever pull that stunt, getting lost in the fog is your SMALLEST problem. Clear?"

>>17689881

i like the way you think.

>>17689903
Embrace the Descent: Freespace 2, planefag.

It's OK. I'll wait.

>>17689905
Motherfuck this.

>>17689916
Glorious game is glorious.

>>17689905

she never pointed it at us though. just fingered it in her holster.

Also, we are well past the bump limit. We need a new thread, quickly.

In retrospect that was dickish. We are a TROLL not a douche.

But I still think she deserved something for the whole gun/choking incident. Should probably explain that to the bros at some point.

>>17689928
no, she pointed it at us.

and chocked us for being buddy buddy with the japanese one

>>17689951

no, charlotte said she was stroking the gun and when we looked

>She's standing in what she probably thinks is a casual fashion, except the cocked hip with the hand resting on it only looks casually aggressive.

i imagine if it was actually pointed at us it would have been mentioned in the text

>>17689905
>>17689920
>>17689951
No, the gun was very much still in the holster.
>>17686953
>Despite the cute little holster with the Walther in it

She didn't have it drawn or even pointed at us.

>>17689807

Something angry snags you by the collar of your jacket and yanks you backwards, off your feet. Perrine can't weight more then ninety pounds, soaking wet, so she's definitely using magic. A dainty forearm locks across your throat and starts applying pressure.

"You... filthy... rotten... backstabbing... bastard..."

"GNARFFF!" you retort cleverly.

"I should *end* you," Perrine whispers dangerously. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't!"

"Hurrrk."

"I'm not so sure I should stop her," Ian says as he walks over.

"Gnnn*rrrrrr*" you threaten Ian, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Uh, Perrine, I thought you were mad at him," Ian says, sounding puzzled.

"I'm FURIOUS with him!" she yelps, twisting back and forth, which produces some interesting sounds from you.

"Then, uh, why are you rubbing your body against him while choking him? You know he likes that, don't you?"

To say Perrine "drops" you would be a misnomer. She physically hurls you away while leaping backwards, and finds time to wipe at her shirt in horror while doing so. You, on the other hand, undertake a close inspection of the tarmac.

>>17689871
>We were right there. Just not mouthfeeding her.
Actually we were deliberately mis-informing her of our position and location relative to her and the air strip.

That goes from being an asshole to criminal negligence and a court-martial.

>>17689981
huehuehuehuehuehue

Ian is bro tier

>>17689981
That makes twice you have chocked me with intent to kill.

>>17689981
IAN! YOU COCK BITE!

>>17689981

"Fuck all of you." Walk off.

>>17689997
she wanted to give you,

La petite morte

>>17689981
Fuck every other bitch, Ian is bro of the year.

>>17689981
Payback's a bitch, huh? How many times have you physically attacked me now?

>>17689990

We didn't. We just didn't giver her any help. We could've led her in, but we wanted to see how she'd go for it. We wouldn't have let her die. We aren't stupid. She's still a witch.

>>17689981
"Ok, ladies. Lets get some shopping done."

No fucks must be given.

>>17689981
"You know, I was only joking about the erotic asphyxiation bit. Didn't know you were actually into that."

>>17689981

Time for some sexual innuendo then walking away.

EROTIC ASPHYXIATION!

Yell it at her back. MAX TROLLING! FORCE HER TO BREAK! It'll be fun!

This is the one time we should back down a little.

Come clean and apologize. After all, we could very well have killed her.

>>17689981
What the fuck is your problem? So I bumped you, that's no reason to try to kill me.

I'll apologize and not bring up you assaulting me this morning to a court martial if you apologize for that and agree to do the same

>>17690037

No. Once again. She wouldn't have died. We wouldn't have allowed for that to happen.

>>17689981
"Now's not the time sweetheart, we've got errands to run"

I reiterate that she needs to be reminded that actions have consequences.

>>17689900
She wouldn't crash. These witches are super strong, have magic, and can stop on a dime and do VTOL shit. We really shouldn't be caring about her other then 'she might get a bit more moist, the bink'.

>>17689981
Yeah, we're having a talkign to with Ian. Selling us out like that.

"That is the second time she's strangled me!"

>>17690035
I'm going to have to keep saying this aren't I?

We are trying to train these girls, not emotional shatter them.

'Bout that time for a new thread, lads.

>>17689994
>>17690037
YOU ARE THE REASON WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!
THAT BITCH KEEPS TRYING TO FUCKING KILL US AND YOU GUYS FEEL BAD FOR HER.

STOP HELPING HER WHEN SHE IS A BITCH AND A BAD PERSON.

>>17690037

If by "Come clean and apologize" you mean, "tell her we've gotten her back for pointing a loaded weapon at us this morning", I agree.

>>17690093
no because shes still choked us twice now.

seriously i'd be ok with the dumb bitch dies.

casualties of war. germans did that shit all the time and not a fuck was given.

>>17690071

as with all democracies we are a collection of seperate social groups pursuing separate and sometimes flatly opposed goals. never say WE.

>>17690086
She's not just a bitch or a bad person, she's a fucking nutjob, this is the 3rd time in 2 days she's tried to kill us.

WE ARE PILOTS AND AS A PILOT WE ARE NEVER WRONG. AS WE ARE NEVER WRONG WE SHOULD NEVER APOLOGISE BECAUSE IT IS NEVER OUR FAULT.

EVER.

>>17690037
AND ITS OK FOR US TO GET CHOCKED TO DEATH AND SHOT?
FTFY

>>17690071
THE HELL WE AIN'T.

>>17690112
stop being a sarcastic moralfag, god damn.

no the point is they try to kill you they lose ALL credibility, yet you guys continue to white knight.

and this is why you are forever alone.

NEW THREAD

forgot a clever title

>>17690122

>>17690102
I keep seeing this, but if she was seriously trying to kill us, we'd be dead by now. She does have magic powers, you know.

Jesus christ let go of it already goddamn, god knows there will be plenty of opportunity for countertrolling later on.

Directed at Charlotte, incidentally, because fuck if it isn't her fault we're in our current predicament.

>>17690058
>>17690050
If she panicked, she could very easily have made a mistake. Too steep on the approach? She hits the deck and dies. Never knows it's coming. No time to react, no time to put up a sparkle shield. Dead.

Sparkles don't make you invincible, and they can't keep you from making mistakes.

>>17690054
Yeah, just like how fucking with people can sometimes get them killed.

>>17690139
That's probably because there are witnesses.

>>17690145
To be fair, everyone seems to have blinders on as to how batshit Perrine is.

>>17690122
new thread

NEW THREAD TIME

Archived:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17686953