rolled 74 = 74

>>17876480
Cool...but what are we doing?
I say we ascend to daemonhood

rolled 53 = 53

>>17876594
We're already much more than a deamon, we've ascended to mince-piehood! I say we check out the webway as a mince pie, see if we can befraid any strange creatures or eldritch abominations.

You stand inside your throneroom, itself within the Vengeful Spirit. Before you is Ahriman, Sorcerer of the Thousand Sons and one of your most trusted comrades in this 14th Black Crusade.

Yes, the 14th Black Crusade. Although there had been thirteen other preceding it, all failures, this one was different. It was a crusade that transcended time itself. A quest, to kill the Emperor and bring Chaos eternal to the galaxy.

You have experienced things stranger than you ever have in your entire life within the last few months. You have slaughtered extinct beasts by the dozens, gained a fiance a child, and did the impossible by converted Eldar to chaos. Yet despite all these things, you feel as though there is so much more to come....

Ahriman speaks. "Yes. As I was saying, I'm very pleased with you." the sorcerer says "Things have been very...quiet recently. No random Eldar ship attacks, no murderous cultist trying to kill us, and no word of Alpharius since you had that...thing, done to him." You feel as though Ahriman is smiling behind his helm. "Yes, all in all it has been a very pleasant and peacfu-"

Then a warhound titan comes crashing through the ceiling.

Think fast, warmaster.

>mfw

rolled 34 = 34

>>17876737
Yell at it because you don't want to play fetch with the oversized mutt right now. Daddy's busy.

rolled 73 = 73

FUCK this is back?!
Let's become a mincepie and teleport inside the cockpit/controlroom/whatever.

god help the crew.

rolled 32 = 32

>>17876737
It's been some time indeed.

We use the hand.

ITS BACK

rolled 93 = 93

holyshit. it's back.
>>17876737
use THE ARM

rolled 81 = 81

>>17876737
Prep Sindri to smack.

Break the titan's foot off with your fist.

And scream.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!"

rolled 52 = 52

Fuck, what was I thinking. No mince pie tricks, PUNCH THE WARP MOTHERFUCKER, IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO WELCOME BACK THIS GLORIOUS QUEST

rolled 43 = 43

PUNCH EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE.

>>17876813
As you see the titan descend from the ceiling, you pull back the arm possessed by Sindri and ready to strike. The titan falls down towards it and, as it is almost about to crush you, you slam your palm forward, grabbing onto the warhound's leg.

The titan stops as you hold it from the ground with your arm. Ahriman suddenly falls over and screams "WHAT THE FUCK"

What now, warmaster?

rolled 56 = 56

>>17876862
INTAROGATE THE MORON IN THE TITAN!

rolled 79 = 79

>>17876862
MERGE TITAN WITH ARM

GIVE SINDRI AN UPGRADE

rolled 25 = 25

>>17876877
Start spinning that fucker over your head and toss it away because "FUUUUUCK YOOOOOOUUUUU!"

rolled 4 = 4

>>17876862
NOW WE MINCE-PIE-TELEPORT INSIDE IT AND QUESTION THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS BY PUNCHING THEM WITH SINDRIIIIIII AND STEALING THEIR MEMORIES.

AND THEN THIS
>>17876901

rolled 18 = 18

>>17876909
FUUUUUU-

Using my one re-roll. Also, if blessed, then everybody in the crusade get's a cupcake. A gift from a minor warp power.

rolled 86 = 86

We play basketball with it. And then this:
>>17876901
and
>>17876877

rolled 87 = 87

Rip off the titan's leg and use it to administer a severe beating. Very severe.

>>17876901
As your fist continues to grip the Titan's foot tightly, you feel the power of the warp surging within you. You transfer this energy to your arm, with begins glowing with a chaotic mix of blue, pruple and orange light.

The warp energies are enhanced by Sindri, and the lights continue to glow brighter and burn hotter. Soon the foot of the titan begins dissolving, it's metals dripping onto your daemon arm.

But then the warhound flails it's other leg about. You and the titan both fall onto the ground, your arm still attached to its foot. The god machine tries desperately to get free, slamming your armour with its other foot.

rolled 53 = 53

>>17876963
>>17876976
So close! GAH! COME ON KHORNE!

rolled 95 = 95

CRUSH IT LIKE A PUNY GUARDSMAN

Also what took you so long OP? It's been some time.

rolled 14 = 14

>>17876981
"TAKE IT YOU BITCH"
We then proceed to grab it's other leg with our own human arm, and prove how badass we are by holding it there just with that arm, whilst we finish merging.

And then we make our own TARDIS.

rolled 30 = 30

We finish merging like a damn pro, and become ABADDON: THE FIRST CHAOS TRANSFORMER.

>>17877071
and thus megatron came into being.

rolled 89 = 89

>>17877071
YES!! THIS

>>17877006
(essays, Dark Souls, Skyrim, setting creation, other writings, Spice and Wolf)
Summoning up more of your strength, you proceed to lift the titan up off the ground with Sindri. You managed to pick up the titan and heft it into the air for a moment.

You then let out a fearsome warcry and bring the titan downwards. The warhound smashes into the ground, a loud crashing noise and the sound of metal splitting pronouncing its fall. You lift the titan up again with Sindri and smash it onto the floor once more. Soon it stops struggling.

What now, warmaster?

rolled 85 = 85

>>17877099
KHORNE STOP FUCKING TEASING US!!!!!!

rolled 50 = 50

Start tickling the fucker's feet! WITH WEAPONS AND OTHER ASSORTED INSTRUMENTS OF PAIN, DEATH, AND DESTRUCTION! FOR SLANNEESHI!

rolled 9 = 9

Find a hatch that gives access to the crew and knock on it, asking politely if they will surrender to you and the Dark Gods.

rolled 27 = 27

>>17877110
Now that you are relatively certain of the titan's demise, fuse with the remnants as suggested and rename yourself Megatron.

rolled 51 = 51

>>17877110
Merge with it LIKE THE FIST OF THE NORTH STAR

rolled 19 = 19

>>17877110
We do what we were destined for. We merge to become.... MEGABBADASS!

rolled 44 = 44

>>17877183
>>17877165
These.

rolled 70 = 70

>>17877192
>44
If only there was a god for this number...

rolled 76 = 76

>>17877165
Merge with it to LEARN the FIST OF THE NORTH STAR

rolled 19 = 19

>>17877183
>>17877230
>>17877165

ALL OF THEM! KHORNE PLEAAAAAASE! DO I HAVE TO CHOKE'A;BITCH?!

rolled 51 = 51

>>17877259
rerollan

rolled 65 = 65

I say we infuse Sindri into the Titan to make it come back alive. Only under our power now.

Who's sindri, anyway? Never participated in the other Abaddon quests...

>>17877230
With the titan now beaten, you continue on with you merging. Warp energies surge forth from Sidri once again, the daemon fire burning the titan's steel and causing it to melt onto you.

You keep on melting the titan's metals with Sindri, until it has all finally melted onto your terminator armour. Soon the titan's entire hull has melted onto you, plasteel, admantium and other materials coating your armour.

Suddenly you hear "HOKUTO NO KEN" ring through your head. You feel invigorated and empowered.

Ahriman emerges from behind a pillar mumbling "What in the warp..."

What now, warmaster?

rolled 24 = 24

I SAY WE FUCK IT AND HAVE LITTLE MINI TITAN BABIES.

rolled 96 = 96

>>17877320
Do a little stretch and dance to get used to the new feel of the extra armour, all the while mocking Ahriman for hiding like a Punk Ass Bitch.

rolled 66 = 66

>>17877320
>GARbaddon has learned Hokuto no Ken
>GLORIOUS.jpg

Now you must demonstrate your new power. Preferably using someone disposable.

rolled 30 = 30

>>17877358
Slaanesh approves! finally a blessed roll!

rolled 78 = 78

>>17877358

Dammit Slaanesh I meant Hokuto Shinken

rolled 37 = 37

>>17877358
Slaanesh wills it!

>>17877358
Suddenly, somebody runs into the chamber. You see a chaos astartes of your legion run into the throneroom towards you.

"MY LORD, THERE ARE CULTIS-""

Feeling a strong sudden desire to use your new strength, you charged towards the marine. You let out a fierce scream and jab the forhead of the marine with your possessed arm's fingers. A crack appears in the helm when you strike it and time seems to freeze for a moment.

HOKUTO NO KEN!!

The astartes pauses for a second before speaking again. "So...was that like a test?" he says "Anyways, like I was saying cultists and Alphas are overruAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGG"

The astarte's head suddenly explodes. Gibs splatter everywhere and his body slumps onto the ground, a bloody ruin. Ahriman walks over to you.

"Dude...what the FUCK?!"

>>17877507
(meant that to be HOKUTO ZANKAI KEN, whatevs)

rolled 69 = 69

>>17877507
Cultists? time to go fuck some bitches and chew bubblegum...

rolled 37 = 37

>>17877507
waitaminute, OH FUCK AHPARIUS AND OMEGION ARE FREE!!!

rolled 89 = 89

Investigate with your mince pie powers.

rolled 3 = 3

>>17877507
have ahriman grab your breast plate and fly to were the traitors of the traitor legions are

rolled 86 = 86

>>17877560
OH COME ON

rolled 2 = 2

>>17877571
FUCKING GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! RE ROLL

rolled 29 = 29

>>17877507
I CAN EXPLODE HEADS WITH MAH FINGER THATS WHAT THE FUCK

Now Brofist Kharn again, giving him head-exploding powers in the process.

rolled 69 = 69

>>17877580
WE HAVE HEAD-SPLODY!!

rolled 43 = 43

>>17877552
I say we chew bitches and fuck bubblegum. For Slaanesh.

>>17877560
Remembering the words of the astartes before his head turned into a bloody mess, you decide to investigate this supposed disturbance using you mince pie powers.

You shift into your mince pie form. As you do, you feel the mind-raping pain of existing in all planes of the universe at once, and sensing everything in existence. You do sense a specific presence though. A strong one, nearby. You recognize it as the presence of those who have been touched by Malal. His insane, chaotic laughter can be heard echoing throughout the Vengeful Spirit. You can also sense a great power, a demigod is aboard the vessel.

rolled 71 = 71

>>17877680
Well, we'll have to worry about that as we go. For now we must fuck bitches and chew bubble gum.

(Sadly, I've got to head off to sleep now. It's real late here and I've got things to do tomorrow. I shall return on the weekend though.)

rolled 13 = 13

>>17877680
Order 50% of your forces to destroy the cultists before they cause too much trouble, have the other 50% be on guard and stand by in case of complications. Get Kharn, Ahriman, and some other of your Bros together, then locate the Demigod.

And challenge him.

To a one on one challenge of mortal combat

By means of Epic Heavy Metal ROCKOUT.

Played using nothing except codpieces

I had a decent day. Was about to head to bed, and decided to check /tg/. Now I'm not sleeping tonight.
And I couldn't be happier! HOW I MISSED YOU ABBADON QUEST

>>17878280
It's over til tomorrow