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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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File: 1332213427.jpg-(57 KB, 500x372, Kamina.jpg)

Coffee-Kun !!h7gIe9JHEEj 03/19/12(Mon)23:17 No.18387854

You are Kamina McRaperson.
You are the Sultan of Swat with A Shit Stick
You have had one hell of a day.
You almost died, and are now Chief of your tribe due to rite of combat. Your Tribe has begun festivities that most would consider nightmarish. Your tribemates have found you and your "Honor" showing from your cursed Hypoxiphillia. You also have sated your bloodlust.
What the hell to do now?

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:18 No.18387871 rolled 48 = 48 >>18387854 Clearly the only logical solution is to rape the fuck out of the nearest tribemate.

>>	Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)23:18 No.18387879 rolled 20 = 20 ACQUIRE NUBILE ANAKIN BITCHES AND WEED AND COCAINE AND BAKING SUPPLIES

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:18 No.18387880 rolled 45 = 45 We've raped, murdered, defecated... We cast that spell we learned from nearing fapping ourselves to death!

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:19 No.18387887 START THE ASSHATING!

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:20 No.18387900 rolled 72 = 72 >>18387854 locate the one which discovered us in this state. Shoot a jizz bullet into their goddamn eye.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:21 No.18387930 Woah, where's the second thread? Anyone got a link to it? The first one is up on suptg.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:22 No.18387938 >>18387930 This IS the second thread.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:22 No.18387943 >>18387931 That is the greatest nose guard ever.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:22 No.18387945 >>18387930 old thread >>18387807

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:22 No.18387948 rolled 95 = 95 >>18387931 Oh God Take me now

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:23 No.18387958 >>18387931 I FEEL THE WARP OVERTAKING ME. IT IS A GOOD PAIN.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:23 No.18387961 File: 1332213826.jpg-(44 KB, 500x500, 1313879409320.jpg) >>18387931 WHY OH GODS

>>	Snapper Carr 03/19/12(Mon)23:23 No.18387962 How are we still alive. WHY ARE WE STILL ALIVE.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:24 No.18387970 >>18387962 I SAVED US FROM DYING OF SHAME!

>>	Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)23:25 No.18388004 Gentlemen! I believe our next plan of action should involve the creation and piloting of a Mech that's powered by fucking it or rape to honor our namesake

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:26 No.18388028 >>18387931 oh my god

might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)23:28 No.18388057

>>18387871
>>18387879
>>18387880
>>18387900
Oh lord. You have acquired Force Missile as a spell.
It will deal 1D10 Life Point damage to a target, with a total up to 70 life point damage. It takes 8 magic points to use, and you must aim it.
Right now you are at 20 life points due to your rampage.
You have gained 16 magic points.
The man who takes you down, backs away quickly. The nearest person to you is shot by your manhood. With your roll you clearly are able to shoot him in the eye due to your perfect vision. You also cannot bring yourself to rape a male, due to your heterosexuality (yes this is in the rules) unless you make a successful D100 check to your debauchery. Your primary objective is to do drugs and get women, and baking supplies. You see the fear in the eyes of the male who brought you down.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:29 No.18388083 rolled 93 = 93 >>18388057 "FETCH ME WOMEN AND DRUGS."

>>	Snapper Carr 03/19/12(Mon)23:29 No.18388084 rolled 48 = 48 >>18388057 FUCK YOU I CAN'T RAPE A MAN.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:30 No.18388095 >>18388057 Can we make him snort a line of coke or baking supplies off of our 10 inch manhood? Is that a thing?

>>	Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)23:30 No.18388100 rolled 46 = 46 And baking supplies mustn't forget that

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:31 No.18388110 rolled 1 = 1 >>18388057 Do traps count as males?

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:31 No.18388112 File: 1332214304.jpg-(81 KB, 600x771, Didyouseetheheavytheyflippedth(...).jpg) >>18388083 >check to rape a man >"FETCH ME WOMEN AND DRUGS" WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:31 No.18388117 I'm all for forsaking the tribe in search for consensual vaginal intercourse. Anyone wanna roll for this idea?

>>	Snapper Carr 03/19/12(Mon)23:34 No.18388143 Guys, we need to find two alchemical liquids and mix them together. This is possibly the easiest way to get a random magical effect.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:34 No.18388151 rolled 75 = 75 >>18388117 scratch of the consensual part and you got yourself a deal

Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:35 No.18388160

>>18388117
>Consenual Sex in the Missionary Position

Holy shit get out of here you fucking sicko.

This is a thread about beating people to death with shit clubs while jerking magic bullets into our enemies.

Get out of here with that perverted crap god dammit. This is a dignified board for thinking gentlemen.

NOW BACK TO THE RAPES

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:35 No.18388166 >>18388117 ....fuck, man, we've done some sick shit so far, but that's crossing the line, gtfo before someone calls the fbi on your ass

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:35 No.18388167 >>18388151 So what game system is this? It doesn't say anywhere in the thread.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:36 No.18388174 Take out your hat's intestines, sew them to your mouth and over your penis, and begin inhaling your own semen, using the intestines as a big straw.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:36 No.18388175 >>18388167 oh, booy, you're in for a suprise

might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)23:37 No.18388187
File: 1332214658.jpg-(333 KB, 738x712, OHSHIT.jpg)

>>18388057
>>18388083
>>18388084
>>18388100
>>18388110
>>18388112
A man is on the ground crying. The Crying is some how strangely turning you on because he is acting like a bitch, but you are satisfied after your almost killing yourself with a hanging.
Congrats, your character is now even more monstrous.
"FETCH ME WOMEN AND DRUGS AND BAKING MATERIALS TO COOK WITH!" You scream. You walk outside of the hovel to view a large fire, blood being shed and a tournament of people wearing asses for hats. You smile.
Roll for a hearing check.
Roll for a vision check.
Roll for for a vocal attraction check.
All will be D 100s.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:37 No.18388188 >>18388174 he's still alive, dude. We need to keep him alive on our head as long as possible to prolong his torment.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:37 No.18388191 rolled 13 = 13 >>18388167 I'll geive you a hint: roll for anal circumference

>>	Snapper Carr 03/19/12(Mon)23:38 No.18388195 rolled 63 = 63 >>18388187 VOCAL ATTRACTION.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:38 No.18388197 rolled 29, 76, 80 = 185 >>18388187

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:38 No.18388201 rolled 4, 2, 96 = 102 >>18388187 spot listen and voice, in that order

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:39 No.18388202 rolled 37, 80, 93 = 210 >>18388187

>>	Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)23:40 No.18388222 rolled 99 = 99 >>18388143 Perhaps we can do this while questing to make a giant robot?

>>	Snapper Carr 03/19/12(Mon)23:43 No.18388252 >>18388222 Perhaps we can send our tribal members to fetch them as we search for a giant robot. The magical effect may help us on our quest.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:43 No.18388253 >>18388174 what is this I dont even... even by 4chan standards...

might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)23:43 No.18388255
File: 1332214998.jpg-(77 KB, 531x513, are-you-a-magnet.jpg)

>>18388197
>>18388195
I will take yours for your vocal commands, and the two high for the vision and hearing check.
>>18388202
>>18388201
Too slow.
You see also. Black Dwarfs in the Distance. Many of them. Speaking about how it is the perfect ambush and how you took care of the only thing keeping them from taking over the area. Your commands were heard and now people are running around like crazy trying to find you what you requested. What do you do now?

>>	might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)23:44 No.18388272 >>18388167 Welcome to FATAL.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:44 No.18388274 rolled 19 = 19 >>18388255 1d20 for sperm mortar to thin their ranks

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:45 No.18388277 >>18388191 So what madness has consumed /tg/, that has driven them to play this sick monstrosity of a game?

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:45 No.18388280 >>18388255 Begin beating your dick like it owes you money. You will shoot down at least one dwarf before you allow yourself to die.

>>	Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)23:45 No.18388289 rolled 83 = 83 Forge a giant robot using the baking supplies using the heat produced by our massive member rubbing jack hammering ass or vagoo of said demon bitches

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:45 No.18388292 >>18388277 This shit is AMAZING, for one.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:45 No.18388294 rolled 40 = 40 >>18388255 "TAKE UP THE LOG BROTHERS AND SISTERS FOR TONIGHT WE BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES!"

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:47 No.18388323 rolled 67, 6, 62 = 135 can't we breathe fire?

Coffee-Kun !!h7gIe9JHEEj 03/19/12(Mon)23:53 No.18388410

>>18388323
Yup.
>>18388289
We will see.
>>18388274
You are not Charlie Sheen. You will need to make multiple checks to get you back in that game, or hope for another hate boner to get you started up.
>>18388277
Think of this as a ritual to keep /pol/ away. We are doing something so horrifying it will galvanize us to whatever trolling that is thrown at us. Dear god I have pledged myself to the darkest of skies, and we are propelled into it forever onward. We have become /b/ bringer of fear and darkness.
>>18388294
Your voice rings true, and your people see the dwarves. Your numbers are depleted slightly due to the blood orgy, but you have just scared the dwarves into gaining the combat advantage.

>>	Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:56 No.18388454 rolled 5 = 5 >>18388410 Can we charge the dwarves, rubbing our flacid manhood while yelling "Blood for the blood orgy, asses for the asshats!" and spitting fire?

Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:58 No.18388495

Guys, I think we should slow the fuck down and settle down into a normal adventurers lifestyle. You know, slay some dragons, crawl some dungeons, etc...

Or we can command our legion to spill their intestines at the dwarves as to shock them into being rammed mercilessly by our asshat.

Coffee-Kun !!h7gIe9JHEEj 03/20/12(Tue)00:00 No.18388529

>>18388454
>>18388495
Theoretically yes you can do that. But your fire works better as a weapon. Are you sure you want to do that? I mean, yeah sure you did beat a guy into shock with a shit stick and are wearing him for a hat, but You still have a certain level of, well restraint. I think...
Oh wait no. Your Debauchery score suggests otherwise.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:03 No.18388575 >>18388529 I am perfectly fine for killing off all of our tribesmen in an ill fated attempt to fight off raiders.

>>	Snapper Carr 03/20/12(Tue)00:03 No.18388577 rolled 88 = 88 >>18388529 Why not have both? Spit hot fire while masturbating furiously.

might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:07 No.18388654

rolled 57 = 57

>>18388577
...
You charge at the Black Dwarves, stroking your man hood breathing fire. Your Tribesmen, do something similar some also breathing fire.
I am rolling for the dwarves to see how they respond. If it's over 50, they are not afraid and charge right into you.
If it is under 50, they flee in terror.
If its a 1, welp. Everybody is getting raped.
If Its a 100, the dwarves in their madness are turned on and decide that it is funn time.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:07 No.18388659 >>18388577 flamejizz!

might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:11 No.18388704

>>18388654
WELP. It looks like your cunning strategy of pleasuring yourself while charging at the dwarves has not confused or scared them.
COMBAT TIME.
You go first, what does Kamina decide to do in combat.
You have a knife
a tanning hammer
a silver coin
You can cast two force missiles.
OR
You can just do something horrible, which you will likely do anyways.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:11 No.18388707 rolled 35 = 35 oh my god i just caught back up and i have not laughed this much for forever. ASSSHAAAAAT!!!

>>	Snapper Carr 03/20/12(Tue)00:11 No.18388715 I dunno guys, I'm thinking about shooting the force missiles out of our nipples.

>>	Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/20/12(Tue)00:12 No.18388724 rolled 11 = 11 Fart-Kamehameha wave

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:13 No.18388734 rolled 47 = 47 >>18388704 Use our dick as an improvised weapon! A club or other primitive bashing weapon.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:13 No.18388735 rolled 10 = 10 disembowel one of your men and have another help you string up intestines to close line the dwarves

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:14 No.18388746 rolled 64 = 64 >>18388715 YES

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:14 No.18388750 rolled 56 = 56 >>18388715 Rolling for this

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:15 No.18388760 rolled 38 = 38 Crawl up one of the dwarves' anuses using a DC80 Escape Artist check!

might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:17 No.18388776

>>18388715
>>18388707
>>18388724
>>18388734
>>18388735
....
Alright. So.
Due to your size, using your dick as a is possible, considering how small the dwarves.
>>18388746
>>18388750
Alright. Force missiles out of nipples.
>>18388760
You are a skinner, you don't have ranks in it and your dex score is to hilariously low. Seriously. That's what got you into this mess.

>>	might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:19 No.18388805 >>18388776 "ASSHATS!" You scream! And shoot two force missiles out of your nipples at two nearby dwarves. Roll for your 1D10 of D10 damage per missile.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:20 No.18388813 rolled 5, 2 = 7 >>18388805

>>	Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/20/12(Tue)00:20 No.18388816 rolled 2, 3 = 5 Rollin

>>	might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:22 No.18388833 rolled 44, 93 = 137 >>18388813 You fire one missile of 5 and one of 2. Roll 5 D10s for dwarf number one and 2 for dwarf number two. I shall roll for magic resistance.

>>	might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:23 No.18388855 >>18388833 One makes it, the one with the two d-10 shot. So just roll five.

>>	Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/20/12(Tue)00:23 No.18388859 rolled 1, 1, 6, 5, 9 = 22 Blasting time

might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:27 No.18388913

>>18388859
One dwarf falls down and collapses. He looks pretty damn dead.
The other, however, seems like you just pissed him off. He points at you. "BY BLOOD AND THUNDER!" He screams charging at you with an axe.
He is too far away to hit you this round.
What do you do to prepare?

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:31 No.18388953 rolled 5 = 5 >>18388913 Pull asshat over whole body as a form of armor

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:32 No.18388963 rolled 31 = 31 >>18388913 Pull asshat over whole body as a form of armor

>>	Snapper Carr 03/20/12(Tue)00:32 No.18388969 rolled 10 = 10 I like the ordering one of our tribesmembers to disembowel themselves idea, personally.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:32 No.18388975 >>18388963 >>18388953 lol double post

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:33 No.18388984 rolled 90 = 90 >>18388953 >low dex character Yeah, nah. Let's rev up that fire breath.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:35 No.18389021 rolled 9 = 9 >>18388984 probably wiser decision

might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:36 No.18389028

rolled 39 = 39

>>18388984
Yeah no.
You failed that.
Horribly.
Dexterousness is your worst skill. and with your rolls, he is coming of your head.
You drop the asshat. It tumbles in front of you and shocks the shit out of the dwarf. I am rolling to see if he trips over the body.

>>18388969
WINRAR. Your fire breath is revved up and ready to go.

>>	might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:37 No.18389042 rolled 25 = 25 >>18389028 And he does, rolling to see if our dwarf hangs onto the axe and attacks you.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:38 No.18389059 File: 1332218336.jpg-(76 KB, 340x321, 1290326499673.jpg) >>18389028 >drop the asshat NO.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:40 No.18389070 rolled 89 = 89 >>18389059 no, we didn't drop it, we threw it at our enemy.....sorta.

>>	might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:40 No.18389074 File: 1332218440.jpg-(108 KB, 640x480, 74453.jpg) >>18389042 NOPE. Swing and a miss! Apparently Kamina is the god of luck. He drops his hat, but it causes his opponent to trip. Your turn for combat.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:41 No.18389081 >>18389074 >fire breath or dick beating Which to choose which to choose...

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:42 No.18389090 rolled 89 = 89 >>18389074 >>18389081 Rolling for fire breath

>>	might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:47 No.18389139 >>18389081 Okay. Lets think of this logically. Your Fire breath: D4 distance and 2D6 per round for three rounds. You get no other actions. Your Dick: D4 and will hurt you. YOUR GOD DAMN SKINNING KNIFE: D8 >>18389090 Alright.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:47 No.18389144 Fire first, then we skullfuck him in the eye socket.

>>	might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:49 No.18389158 >>18389090 >>18389144 Alright roll your 2 d6 and roll your d4 for length, though he is within range of you.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:50 No.18389166 >>18389139 Listen. I'm afraid that we will turn the knife on ourselves for some kind of strange blood ritual if we pull it out at this point.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)00:50 No.18389171 rolled 3, 3 + 1 = 7 >>18389158

>>	might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:52 No.18389190 rolled 96 = 96 >>18389171 Rolling for fire resistance.

>>	might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:53 No.18389197 rolled 50 = 50 >>18389190 He looks pissed, rolling to dodge out of the flames. if failed roll again for more fire.

>>	might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:56 No.18389220 rolled 52 = 52 >>18389197 Thanks to his tumbling earlier he does not. So rolling again for fire resistance

>>	might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)00:59 No.18389266 okay I am going to pass out. Seriously. This has taken a lot of me. I am done for the night, and probably forever more.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)01:00 No.18389275 rolled 14 = 14 >>18389266 Aw. Well, thanks anyway. It was damn fun.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)01:01 No.18389281 >>18389266 This has to continue.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)01:01 No.18389287 rolled 56 = 56 >>18389266 Forever? But this is actually fun

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)01:02 No.18389300 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! BUT WE DID NOT EVEN GET TO FUCK ONE FEMALE! OR CAUSE ANY RANDOM MAGICAL EFFECTS!

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)01:03 No.18389315 >>18389287 >Fun >In reference to FATAL Shit. SHIT. SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT The end times are here. The Mayans were right.

might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)01:04 No.18389324

>>18389287
>>18389281
>>18389275

Fucking fine. My soul is already black from this shit.
I have a lot on my plate this week except Wednesday .
I am too tired to look through this god damn 997 pages of insanity. I am going to go read some HP Lovecraft and try to get some sleep.
How on earth did this become fun?

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)01:05 No.18389329 >>18389300 We may not have gotten into any true forms of debauchery but we got to roll for anal circumference. And that is enough. Thanks op. Maybe we can continue this another time.

>>	might be OP 03/20/12(Tue)01:06 No.18389345 >>18389329 >>18389300 We will. Two days from now. Same OHMYGODWHATTHEFUCKTIME same OHMYGODWHATHASTGBECOME Channel.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)01:08 No.18389365 File: 1332220105.jpg-(18 KB, 177x220, Anal_stretching.jpg) >>18389345

>>	Coffee-Kun !!h7gIe9JHEEj 03/20/12(Tue)01:08 No.18389366 >>18389315 >>18389329 >>18389345 And with that I use my killing word trip to sage this so I may get sleep.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)01:09 No.18389369 >>18389324 board virgin minds+lack of things to do on monday+lack of common sense+anonimity+healthy(?) dose of insanity facilitated by your willingness to host an actual game of FATAL, the one thing NO ONE HAS THE BALLS TO PLAY, has made this fun

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)01:09 No.18389375 rolled 55 = 55 >>18389366 Goodnight.

>>	Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)01:23 No.18389489 >>18389369 As someone who has read through FATAL in its entirety, all actual FATAL game mechanics were abandoned like 5 posts in. Do I care? NOPE.

>>	Snapper Carr 03/20/12(Tue)01:34 No.18389573 OP? Thank you.

Anonymous 03/20/12(Tue)09:02 No.18391528
File: 1332248577.jpg-(44 KB, 284x248, flooded-mississippi-river-hous(...).jpg)

>>18389489
>As someone who has read through FATAL in its entirety
I'm frowning at you behind my laptop screen, you know.

>all actual FATAL game mechanics were abandoned like 5 posts in.
But yeah, all the terribility we've seen here came from our own decisions rather than the game itself.

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