IT'S GO TIME

You stand there in the middle of the gym, separated from the audience by the protective barrier Mike has put up.

Hes standing in his usual relaxed fashion, but you know from training that it is his actual fighting stance.

"Ill let you make the first move." he tells you

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

SWAG VS SILVERBACK.

BATTLE OF THE YEAR OF ALL YEARS
CAN WE GO ALL OUT AND GO OVER THE TOP? I HOPE SO.

NOW BACK TO THE ACTION LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS WILL BE A FIGHT YOU WILL NOT WANT TO MISS.

>>18499830
Timestop, shoot as many paintballs as possible in at and around mike. Also, coat the floor with some slider around mike.

>>18499830
Spread out some knives and get a sword and Molotov paintball gun ready

>>18499846
No, no timestop yet. We will need it later on

>>18499809
Cover the ENTIRE floor with Slider, and the lower portion of the protection sphere with Rebounder. Spawn teacups and coat those as well.
SUDDENLY DODGEMS.

>>18499830
Bunny mode and coat as much of the floor with slider. Stay out of his melee range as much as possible.

Made it for the night thread, woo!

>>18499830
Seconding slider on the floor, followed by dual wielding paintball guns with molotovs. We want to disorientate Mike, get him on the defensive.

We need to do a henshin sequence for bunny mode. It is unecessary but it would be funny and showing off for the girls

RAIDER KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK

then after he blocks and throw our feet side ways, do Tatsumaki-Senpu in midair [helicopter kick by ryu]

Equipment/abilities status:
Bunnymode: 3 times left.
Time stop: 55 seconds left
Invisibility: 30 mins left
Molotov: 900ml in flask, 4 canisters of balls
slider: 1 litre
rebounder: 900ml
drago: 2.5 liters
Healing: 5 liters

>>18499830
Grease that floor in Slider.
Then unleash the bananas.
Bananas everywhere.
Also, activate invisibility once he takes his sight off of us.

Throw out some slider around us.
Use a smoke screen and pop into invis. Then drop some cups and kansas city shuffle a shell game.
Pack them with explosive bananas

>>18499901

i don't think we know any martial arts moves man.

>>18499933
Backstory of doom.
"wax on. wax off. clothes on. clothes off."

i have to ask, can we still use our familiars to fight?

would be awesome if we do some combo moves with them.

>>18499938
We should get our Pandabro (Lo?) to teach us some kung pao

>>18499933
We know some anime martial arts so wrestling, over the top missile drop kicks and holds and locks

Nothing like proper Kung fu etc

>>18499938
So we learned from Jackie Chan in the new karate kid?

>>18499945
Tell Lo that we need to learn to Stay out of trabble and could use some pointers.

Or backstory of doom.

>slider
You take out your flask and pour some slider all around.
Making sure to keep in mind areas where there isn't any of that stuff.
You then enlarge a dozen knives and spread them around point down on the floor.

you then take out a pintball gun and a knife-sword.
"Stop wasting time and attack kid. THe crowd is getting bored."
"Okay Mike. Here I come."

[ ]shooty
[ ]stabby
[ ]sneaky

>>18499953
But with more HUE and PTSD.


I swear, if we trigger a PTSD during battle, it will be a fuckup of the century.

>>18499961
[X ]sneaky

>>18499961
Sneaky.
We go in naked snake style and gun+knife CQC when he commits to an attack fall back and smokescreen / invis pop up behind him and Stabby / shooty combo

[O]shooty

we should see what moves he makes for now, maybe he has something that he hasn't shown us during our training with him.

>>18499961
[x]Shooty

Mike will expect us to use our majaikal fighting style. I don't think he is aware of our Hollywood Mag'd 1911's, or would expect them. Guys, we will NEED to use our entire inventory to take down Mike.

Also, massive pyschological warfare. Banana's, Banana's errywhere! Bad puns! Flinging poo! THE WORKS!
"Dance, you fat ape!" BANG BANG BANG

>Truman. uttacku
>Once again Captcha, your engrish skills amaze me. Truman did indeed order the attack. The Nuclear attacks on Japan.

>>18499961
Shooty shooty shooty.
Exploding gun-kata.

Have we only trained in melee with Mike? Because we could use that to our advantage if we can surprise him with ranges tricks

>>18499961
SHOOTY.
Unload some molotov on him. explode only those that come in contact. keep the ones that dont hit him unexploded for traps later.

Dont get close. He's a bruiser in CQC/

>Throw shit that is on fire
>Dresden's in the audience
>"That reminds me of the time when that one building was on fire. It wasn't my fault, mind you, flaming poo flinging flying gorilla demons did it. I was just saving Mouse and his brothers from the place."

>>18500000
Nice quints.

Hold on, isn't Domingo a gun club? Are we going to be shot at as well?

>>18500010
Yes it is a gun club so we need to be on our toes for being shot

>>18500010
magic gun sword pimp wand

>>18500000
18.5M get is DAKKA!

>>18499961
Shooty.

LG suddenly got krumped?

You get shooty, you jump around the spots on the floor not covered in slider and unload your paintball gun on him.
He evades and almost none hit him, the two shots that did hit him explode harmlessly against his fur.

"Keeping your distance huh?" he raises his cane and points at you.
*click*
You hear the firing mechanism on it ring out.
Mike doesnt seem to notice this and does it twice more as he moves
*click* *click*
'What the hell?' you think to yourself.
You continue trying to shoot the agile gorilla.
He slowly closes in on you in an arc.
He's approaching the area of the floor wet with Slider.
He avoids the spots and uses the dry areas liek you do.
*click* *click*
His cane again makes the sound as he points it at you.

The two of you continue dancing like this.
[ ]keep shooting
[ ]do something else

>>18500055
It's been less than a half hour. He's writing up a badass action scene. Still your nerves, impatientanon.

>>18500059
Let's toss in a teleport to try to shoot him in the back. Then kaboom.

>>18500059
Okay, hearing clicks while your instructor is "shooting" at you and smiling is BAD.

Teleport to behind him and fire a few round and detonate them.

>>18500059
[x] Do something else
Equip tray, coat in rebound. be ready for whatever his shots are about to do. Keep firing at him, but delay the explosion until a sufficient amount of shots are landed.

>>18500059
Bad move he is setting up a death zone for us if we keep trying to dance around and shoot, try and sneak in and force him onto our slider spots by hit and run

>>18500059
Wtf. Why is he firing an empty gun?

Teleport. We can use our team in the audience as waypoints.
Hell, I'm pretty sure we could use him as a waypoint.

Teleport, bring out the pistols and go Bollywood on his ass.

>>18500059
Recommend offense. Re-open the range. His clicky is either some delayed-action shot like out balls, or just psyching us. Not much we can do about it except keep on keeping on.

So what is our consensus?
Range?
Close in?
Dakka?
Choppy?

>>18500125
There seem to be a lot of people suggesting teleporting to throw him off guard. That's about the only consensus.

>>18500125
We have a holy get for dakka, but we need to break his bead on us. Other then fighting him in close quarters, we REALLY dont know what he is capable of.

>>18500125
Teleport and close range choppy. Hit and run

>teleport
>keep distance
>try and get him into slider

You teleport, using the girls as reference, and reappear about 20 meters behind him.
You open fire and splatter his back with about 5 balls.
They explode and distract him enough for his left foot to land in the slider.
He almost looses balance but he uses his cane to regain it and jump up and onto one of the knives you left sticking up out of the floor.
"Hah. using your tricks this early?" he says as he smiles from atop the handle of the sword.
"Let me show you one of mine then."
*BANG!*
A shot rings out from behind you.
You dodge instinctively but it hits your paintball gun, sending it flying out of your grasp.
You look at the source of the shot and you see a flicker of smoke coming from where he first aimed his cane at you.

*Bang!* *bang!*
Two more shots reverberate through the gym

WAT DO?

How about teleport behind him and hit and run dakka?

>>18500150
Cup time.
Drop some cups and go invis sneak out while we shell game them and leave some explosive bananas behind.

If he doesn't close in on the cups then circle them around him and once they are close enough reveal and BOOM!

>>18500150
Teleport onto his back. Then turn invisible and teleport again, above him, and throw a bunch of knives at him.

>>18500159
Seconding. But throw in bananas as well.

>>18500161
Do we want to spam our teleport this early on?

>>18500159
>explosive bananas
Already ahead of you there bro

>>18500161
That maneuver doesn't sound even remotely worth two of our remaining four teleports.

rolled 23 = 23

>>18500159
This cup shit is stupid, and pointless.
Takes too long to set up.
And ends up with no real payoff.

Just cover him with the cup and coated on the inside with molotov.
We don't have any bananas that explode.
Unless you want to stop time and waste that time injecting molotov in bananas.

geez you fuckers can be stupid at times

Voting we take the pistols out and just pepper him with bullets until he makes his move.

>>18500159
How about a bit of a variant? Mike knows our moves, that's why we need to think on the fly.

Drop some cups and invis. Don't go under any of the cups. Wait until he gets in the right position and get two cups to come in on two sides and grab him, leaving him inside a rebounder coated inside and a canister or two of molotov.

Basically a Cup Minefield.

>>18500186
We just tried that with Molotov and he set up delayed shots.

All your plan will get us is shot more

One way or another we are going to end up in melee with Mike.

We need to get in there on our terms rather than his

Slider is expiring soon too. It only works for five minutes.
Lets go in while he cant move so freely.
And just wail on him

>>18500186
No need to inject Molotov into bananas just throw Molotov over them.
It is to throw him off his game by annoying him

>>18500222
>Slider is expiring soon too.
How long do you think we've been fighting? I can't imagine we've even been going for a minute yet. Combat is a lot faster than you would think it is.

>>18500228
We should have 3 1/2 minutes minimum. We have done very little and taken up very little time so far

>>18500228
Still that makes it 4 minutes left
4 minutes where one of his feet have 0 friction.
4 minutes we could use to our advantage in cqc

Wait mike is on a knife, dispel the knife and sneak attack him as he rights himself

>>18500240
Seconding this. Also, close in with our belt with another teleport. Also, activate bunny mode at the same time.

>>18500240
Actually, that's a really good idea.

>>18500254
Even LG agrees that its logical.

>>18500240
Sneak attack him and detonate the Molotov we have left on him if any so we can close and either tea laser or wail on him with some drago beat downs

>>18500240
Good eye anon.

Time to us the DaVinci blades then. Teleport behind him and use the blades to inject him with our molotov, then ignite them.

Warning: this is pretty drastic

You displell the knives you left laying around.
Mike falls and lands squarely on his feet in the Slider.
He stabilizes himself with his can as he did before.
At the same moment you go invisible and summon a saucer.
You quickly fly towards him unseen.

"NOPE." he says
*Bang* *Bang* two more shots ring out.
One misses you widely the other hitting an edge of your saucer.
"HAH. FOUND YOU!" He says as he summons a large flail.
A ridiculously large flail.
He swings it around and aims for the general area where you were flying through.

**ROLL EM**

rolled 31 = 31

>>18500267
NOPE

rolled 95 = 95

>>18500267

Roll through with it, use it as a guide to counter attack with the arm knives.

rolled 65 = 65

>>18500267
Hey that's my line!

>>18500274
Ok no more rolls needed

>>18500274
You allow him to hit the saucer.
*Klang*
You jump off at the same moment and use the chain as a path to get to him.
You bring out your arm blades.
You jump off the chain and aim right at his chest with a blade.

**rollem**

rolled 24 = 24

>>18500284

CHESTO

rolled 27 = 27

Rollin

rolled 33 = 33

>>18500284
Goodnight.

rolled 40 = 40

>>18500284
Stab and flip over him either onto his back or saucer and keep going behind him

rolled 94 = 94

>>18500284
Stabby?

rolled 69 = 69

>>18500284
Rolling.

>>18500296
Stabby indeed.

rolled 71 = 71

>>18500284

Stabbity.

>>18500296
Wow very Stabby.
That's almost to the point of being choppy despite being such a little blade

>>18500288
You hit him square in the chest.
Your momentum driving the blade straight into him.
*SNAP*
The blade snaps off.
His hide must be as thick as a wall, or maybe its his own shields.
He makes a blind grab and catches your ankle.
"GOTCHA!" he says as he swings your body towards the floor.

**ROLLEM**

rolled 24 = 24

>>18500284

HA

rolled 31 = 31

>>18500306
Weeeeeeak
Time stop free ourself drago and SMALL TIME him

rolled 66 = 66

>>18500306
FUCKING ROLLING.

rolled 73 = 73

>>18500306

OHSHIT

Splash some slider on our ankle, slip out!

rolled 1 = 1

>>18500306

SLIDER-POWERED BREAKDANCE ESCAPE

rolled 52 = 52

Just as planned

rolled 1 = 1

>>18500306
Rebounder ourself, make him try to grab us and bounce back

rolled 2 = 2

>>18500315
Fuck

>>18500320
>>18500315

OH GOD
WHAT THE FUCK

And other stories

>>18500310
He slams you into the floor.
Your body jolted by the impact, yer left side slathered with Slider, and your invisibility getting knocked off
He raises you again to do it once more.
**ROLLEM**

>>18500320
>>18500315
Oh wow.

Double HUE.

That's like game over forever right?

rolled 34 = 34

>>18500325
Rolling to sort this shit out.

rolled 16 = 16

The dice is not with us tonight.

rolled 100 = 100

>>18500325
Random picks? Well we avoided double HUE

rolled 33 = 33

>>18500325
We are not fucked!

rolled 69 = 69

>>18500325
SLIDER-POWERED BREAKDANCE ESCAPE REPRISE

>>18500330
We better not get screwed out of this

>>18500330

FUCKING /tg/ DICE

WHY

WHY DO YOU ENJOY OUR TEARS

>>18500323
>>18500320
>>18500315
He slams you to the floor again.
The impact breaks your left arm, a rib and the ankle he was holding you by.
He throws you away towards the edge of the protective bubble and you hit the floor rolling.

You unsteadily get up on your feet, and keep the pain of your broken ankle in check.
"You're getting sloppy kid."
He says as he advances on you, skating unsteadily on the Slider.

WAT DO?

>>18500336
They love our tears, their power comes from them

>>18500340
Time stop and tea laser

>>18500340

Use that goddamn 100.

Pop a bullet in his face.

rolled 29 = 29

>>18500340
Chug healing pot and dargo.

Flying punch powered by slider

>>18500345
Time stop tea laser +100

>>18500340
Okay, I know that we've used this tactic a bit too much in the past. But. I think we need to suicide-bomb him. If an enemy is legitimately more powerful than us, as I think Mike may be, I think our only recourse in the future will be retreat or self-sacrifice. Let's brutalize him with a time-stopped tea laser. If that doesn't work, let's grab on and blow us away.

rolled 88 = 88

>>18500306
Rolling

rolled 56 = 56

>>18500340

Timestop 5 seconds.

Drink healing potion, resume battle.

>>18500344

Toss a half-dozen teacups/teapots to the edges of the arena. Multi-angle tea-laser attack.

tl;dr FIN FUNNEL

>>18500340
Drink the Drago, dispel the slider when he gets close, then HAYATE PUNCH to the chest, then full power tea laser when he's knocked back.

rolled 38 = 38

>>18500355

THIS.

Mike is not going to let us slowly chug the healing potion. Heal up now, before our damaged ankle slows us enough out of the fight.

>>18500340
>taking rolls from before his last posts
>ignoring a 100 which came after last post

Really now, LG. Is your F5 broken again?

>>18500355
I don't think minor healing is gonna help broken bones much.

If we do it though longer stop healing and drago

rolled 32 = 32

>>18500355
This, then
>>18500360
THIS

rolled 76 = 76

>>18500362

LG is going on first roll, now; did you not notice?

>>18500367

No, he's basically picking and choosing them as he pleases.

The first roll is only when he says so.

>>18500367
He is going random..
Probably rolling a dice and writing the result apart from our double 1's

>>18500367
So far in this thread: 2nd roll, 1st roll, 2nd roll, 2st roll, -1st, -2nd and -4th roll
Yup, the clear pattern there is first roll.

>>18500376
>2st
That's a "1st".

>>18500330
You bring out your coachgun, preloaded with slugs, and quickly aim for his head.

You fire.
The shots hit him on the torso and don't do much damage.
But his already unsteady stance and his frictionless feet bring him down.

You throw the coachgun aside, it would be almost impossible to reload with a broken arm.

You jump on him with a knife and put your whole weight behind it.
You manage to pierce his shoulder.
"Gah!" he screams as metal cuts through flesh.
"Okay kid, no more mr.Nice-Mike."
He uses his arm to bat you off of him, his strength sending you sprawling towards the wall.

He stand up and pulls out the blade running though him with some difficulty.
The arm connected to that shoulder seems slower now.

"Most damage you've done to me so far." he says as he brings out a large axe.
"Great work."

He's coming for you.


WAT DO?

rolled 25 = 25

>>18500379

DRINK HEALING POTION

rolled 17 = 17

>>18500379
Time stop healing + drago or healing + tea laser then drago and beat the shit out of him

rolled 74 = 74

>>18500379

Timestop and consume the healing potion. At least to heal the ankle or its gonna slow us down terribly.

>>18500379
"I'd better step up my game then."
Time stop. Drink all the Healing and a dose of Drago. Get out enlarged spoon to use as a club and beat the shit out of him.

rolled 1 = 1

>>18500379
Drop Molotov teleport up and healing potion while in time stop

rolled 88 = 88

>>18500391
We haven't used the spoons recently, let's do it.

>>18500391
Thats five liters of healing potion.
That will weigh us down.

rolled 78 = 78

>>18500393
Welp looks like we are done.

Dice gods do not like us fighting Mike it seems.

rolled 45 = 45

>>18500393
Oh you have gotta to be shitting me. Three nat 1's in one thread?

rolled 85 = 85

>>18500393
HEY, SHITFUCK.

WE NEED SOME KRAUS LUCK IN HERE.

rolled 61 = 61

>>18500393
Myonesarerollingthemselves.jpg

rolled 88 = 88

>>18500400
Dice gods must fucking love gorilla's

>>18500394
>>18500409
Even double dubs won't save us now

You stop time.
You drink as much healing potion as you're comfortable with and down a dose of Drago.
Your ankle and rib feel a lot better, the broken arm regaining some mobility.

You then throw all your remaining Molotov in the flask at him.

You release time stop with 20 seconds left
And explode the potion soaked into his fur
**ROLLEM*

rolled 56 = 56

>>18500403
Yeah we need Kraus to have more creepy doll sex

rolled 96 = 96

>>18500414
HURT

rolled 67 = 67

>>18500414
HEY, DICE GODS. WE HAVE FUCKING KRAUS WITH US.

YEAH, THAT KRAUS. SO FUCKING SHAPE UP.

rolled 62 = 62

>>18500414
Tea laser!

rolled 41 = 41

>>18500414
"Take that, you damn dirty ape!"

rolled 71 = 71

>>18500414

EXPLODE! THE EAST IS BURNING RED!

>>18500417
Firat post linking to him and we might be lucky

rolled 10 = 10

>>18500422

Let's not say that. We actually like Mike, y'know. No need for that sort of language.

>>18500428
Yeah no insulting him.

Maybe troll him with some bananas if we aren't getting our ass handed to us but no hating

>>18500428
Yeah, seriously, we're not racist, just competitive.

>>18500434
And prone to playing jokes on those we love and somewhat tolerate

>>18500416
You see him get thrown off his feet, in the large explosion.
He lands a couple of meters away.
"Fucking explosive potions.." he says as he stands up shakily. His ax now replaced with a sword and shield.

You rush him with a large spoon.
He blocks with his shield, but with some difficulty.
And attacks with the sword, you manage to swivel away in time.
He bashes you with the shield, his full weight behind it.
You are sent back a few feet.
"I didn't plan on using this, but you are doing a lot better then I expected."
He raises his sword and comes at you.
[ ]block
[ ]evade

>>18500439
[x] Evade

I thinks after this we go see Ryuu and see about a better healing potion.

We are too fragile and light wounds just won't cut it

Dating Nanoha is ok, but quoting Charlton Heston is a no no? I can never figure you guys out.

>>18500439
Evade.
Even with drago I don't trust we can block him

rolled 49 = 49

>>18500439
[x] BLOCK. We're on a Drago rush, while it lasts surprise him by hitting power with power.

>>18500439

[X]evade

>didn't expect to use those weapons we do NOT want to get hit.

>>18500443
Yes. Bananas and other healthy foods for ingredients, and the memory of us slowly nursing a stray kitten back to health.

>>18500447
Different things. And Mike has been the first bro we ever found so we wouldn't want to actually hurt him

>>18500439
Block with rebounder tray!

>>18500379

tea laser.

rolled 65 = 65

>>18500439
Darth Evader. we can't take that strength head-on, even if he's expecting us to dodge.

>>18500439

Summon a thousand bananas over his head!

>>18500460
We need to make an opening before firing that.
Try and find or make a chink in his armour.

On that note bunnymode or teleport aside and aim for that injured shoulder. We want to slow him down as much as possible and if we work on his existing injuries we will give ourselves a better chance

>>18500439
Block. We're still running on Drago's 8x Strength Boost. That should get us close to Mike's level.

>>18500475
>Try and find or make a chimp in his armour.

FTFY

>>18500482
We block then we give the advantage away.
If we evade we can use it to deliver a really solid blow before he figures out what we have done

You quickly roll to one side as the sword comes down.
As you try and regain your bearings, Mike is suddenly jumping towards you. He's holding a large mallet in his hands.
To your right Mike watches as he raises the sword at the ready again.

You roll again.
The mallet crushing the floor where you were just moments before.
You quickly scramble to your feet to avoid a spear aimed for your thigh by a third Mike.

You jump back to give yourself some working room.
You look to find 5 Mikes charging at you.
The first three were joined by one with an axe and one with a flail.

WAT DO?

>>18500490
Teleport directly up and tea laser down.
We need to level the field

Once we figure out which mike is the real one pop a saucer above us and use it to make a diving attack

>>18500490
Shell game.

>>18500490

Time for SUMMON THE FAMILIARS!

Rebounder cup over us?

>>18500490
Shell Game (can Kraus materialize the teacups with Rebounder pre-coated?), but instead of hiding in the cups, we actually go invisible.

Then summon all of our familiars.

Slider is well and truly gone by now I guess? Doesn't seem like it would be from the writing but good to be sure

rolled 59 = 59

>>18500512

I really like this idea. It actually gives a point to the shell game

>>18500490
Sweep a tealaser through them to find the real one.
Summon familiars to distract and disrupt.
Hit the real Mike with a GIGA FORK BREAKERRRRRRRRRRRRR.

>>18500504
Jakob with his moonstone again? Sounds good.
Lo with a ladder and slider and no wan trabble could work
Ted with drago will be fun

>>18500520
you are on part of the floor with no slider.
[a liter of the stuff thrown can only go so far]
The shit on mike's body got evaporated in the explosion

>>18500508

Rebounder over *us*. It'll do wonders given Mike's focussing on using Melee weapons.

>>18500528
No moonstone. Not yet. Damn thing would drain us straight out of the match and make us faint again.
USE THE MOONSTONE. IF WE CANT WIN, WE WILL MAKE IT A DRAW

>>18500532
Yeah I figured we were clear of it just wondering on the time to see whether we can factor it into more plans or not

>>18500512
>>18500525

Ohohoh. Have Kraus summon a burnt human-shaped and -sized cake under one of the teacups, so if Mike just explodes/shoots them all, it'll throw him for a second or two.

A second or two could make all the difference.

>>18500535
Actually we don't know that.
It spikes his consumption but Kraus didn't mention how much more and how much it would drain us

>>18500533
Like, Rebounder on our shirt, and one our arms, so that any attacks aimed at them simply bounce off, and we can use our arms as unexpected shields?
Could work.

>>18500541

Also, fill the cake with a lot of jam/tomato sauce.

So
Fake death cake?
Teleport laser?
Teacup rebounder?
Rebounder otherwise?

>>18500542
He said that it causes a massive power drain.
I am not one to put two and two together, but we are not exactly the stellar example of having good magic reserves for any length of time after combat.

>>18500560
I'm voting for combined:
>TACTICAL BAKING
>SHELL GAME
>REBOUNDER ARMOUR
>TELEPORT+TEALASER

All at once, or as close as possible. We can't hold back now.

>>18500568
Yeah but massive compared to his normal drain? Or massive based on our majaik?

>>18500570
Rock candy armour with a rebounder coating?

>>18500572

Bad for us either way, frankly.

"Massive" is not a good word, unless it's describing our junk.

>>18500560
Shell Game with Rebounder and a fake death cake, but we're actually pulling a Kansas City Shuffle by going invisible and using the opportunity to douse ourselves in Rebounder (as armor), and summoning our familiars, Lo with licorice rope and a big canteen full of alcohol for Drunken Chanda.

>>18500574
Hehe that is the best time for the word massive.
A close second is when referencing our balls and swag

>>18500573
>Rock candy armour with a rebounder coating?
Not really. Just coating our jacket in Rebounder makes everything bounce off of it, making it superb armor.
I can't believe we didn't realize this before.

rolled 56 = 56

>>18500574
Well Jacob could drain that fast as well if you know what I'm saying.

You do realize this bullshit will have to happen in less than a few seconds right?


Just take out our familiars.

None of this cake bullshit or the still stupid cup shit.

>>18500579
Well it works well but I was just thinking so we had something to take the hit over our head unless we feel like having a rebounder shower

>>18500570
>>18500576

This is going to be absolutley nuts.

I love it.

STOP TIME.
TAKE OUT FAMILIARS.
FIND REAL MIKE.

>>18500579
It is situational and it might be less effective on clothes than other things maybe.

We haven't really fought many enemies who were big melee on this level

>>18500586

Kraus makes the cake. We pull the teacups. That's practically instantatneous.

Going invisible is also instant. So is the teleport. Summoning familiars takes a second or two.

This shit is insane enough to maybe possibly work.

>>18500586
>You do realize this bullshit will have to happen in less than a few seconds right?
Yes, and prior experience has shown that we can materialize the cups and the cake in under a second.

So can we agree on something?
Teleport out, throw minions, rebounder ourself and go?

You quickly drop some cups and turn invisible.
You have Kraus summon a man shaped burnt cake in one of them
You jump away and douse your shirt and your left arm in your remaining rebounder.

The five Mikes get to the teacups..

>>18500586
Using the cups and going invisible to release our familiars and blindside Mike is a good idea I say. Misdirection to buy us some breathing room against 5 Mikes? Yeah that sounds like a good idea. The cake thing I agree isn't really necessary and probably won't be effective.

>>18500620
Tea laser them while they are around the cup.
Either from the side or above just as long as we hit them all

>>18500620

Squee.

They stop.
"Jesus Christ kid. Are you trying to embarrass yourself? " the one with the shield says.
"I cannot see you right now but I can fucking smell you there to our left. AND THE FUCKING BREAD UNDER THE CUPS ISN'T HELPING TOO. I taught you better than to be this stupid."
*TONK* *TONK* *TONK*
Bolts from a crossbow fly past you.
You see a sixth Mike standing near the edge of the protective bubble.
He's firing wildly in your general direction.

You run while still invisible. And begin dropping your familiars.

J comes out in laplace mode,
Lo and Ted are in thier bigger forms.

The five melee Mikes rush your familiars.

>>18500650
Well shit.

>>18500626
Do this and summon our footmen. Lo + Flying Dutchman and maybe some Booze and Ted + Drago. I think we'd best keep J in our hat for now though, unless he still has some time left for his not easily squished form.

The one with the spear rushes Lo.
J faces off the one with the flail.
The axe and mallet weilding ones advance on Ted.

You get to the one with the crossbow and attempt to stab it with a sword while invisible.
It gets hit square in the chest, but his hard defense don't allow for much penetration.

He roll away.
You see Lo duck and tumble out of the spear's reach.

The unarmed J is avoiding the flail pretty easily.

Ted is swatting at the two attacking him with his tail.

WAT DO?

>>18500669
Look for the one with a hurt shoulder, it should be the real one.

Then drop the drago hammer on him preferably with a sneak attack on his hurt shoulder

>>18500669
Switch partners, keep them off balance

So how about some time stop and mass Tea laser firing?

>>18500669
Use the fucking handguns with bottomless magazines.

>>18500669
Throw our wineskin to Lo so he can down some Drago and give the rest to Ted. If Kraus can manage it, also a gourd with high-proof alcohol for Lo so he can go Drunken Master.
Jakob needs guns if he's to take out the Mike attacking him.

Find the Mike that's got a hurt shoulder, and concentrate our attack on him.

>>18500669

Can we move the teacups? As in, swarm them on to sword-ape and seal him under them for a bit?

>>18500680
Nah we need to see which one is real because we don't have the majaik or time stop left to throw it around

>>18500683
The pistols wont do shit to him.

Have we tried if the dagger the Emperor gave us works? We should have it in our belt right?

>>18500669
Figure out which is the real mike.
Once we have that focus Lo and J on covering Ted so that he can charge the real one and we use time stop once Ted gets him busy and tea laser the fuck out of him

>>18500683
We shot Mike right in the chest with a shotgun slug with little effect. I double that pistols will do much.

>>18500710
We have it but Emps said he could never get it to work, we figure it is because it is out of sand

>>18500710
LETS DO THIS.

>>18500713
Actually we hit him in the head, it barely phased him

>>18500727
Let's not bank on an item we were told never worked that we haven't had time to test out

YOu move around still invisible.
The Mikes that sense your presence try and take swipes at you, bu they miss.


You check them for the shoulder wound you inflicted.
You find it hidden behind the shield of the one with a sword.


WAT DO?
[still invisible]
[familiars distracting other mikes]

>>18500740

well, it's not like we have too many other options at this point.

>>18500727
Do what?
Hayate doesn't know what the knife does, only that it might be broken because the God-Emperor of Mankind couldn't get it to work. We, the players, know that it won't work because it's out of sand.

So what, exactly, do you want to do with it?

>>18500747
DRAGO SMASH THE SHOULDER WOUND.

>>18500734
you AIMED for his head. but hit him in the chest
[you were firing both barrels one handed, resulting in the bad aim]

>>18500747

A half-dozen knives in the back all at once?

Go for the spine, at least.

>>18500747
Have Ted charge the real Mike.
Have Lo and J cover him

Once we get Real Mike distracted time stop tea laser and everything we can at him

rolled 65 = 65

>>18500747

Remove uniform.

Use it and its scent as bait for the mike we identified.

When he attacks it, tea laser him.

>>18500747
Is our Drago still up? If not, consume more. The FIST OF THE NORTH STAR that shoulder wound.

>>18500761
You stupid shit.
That will leave the other mikes to attack us.
WE JUST TEALASER HIM AT POINT BLANK

>>18500747
Point blank Full-power tealaser into his back.

Let's make some noise.

>>18500757
Ah ok I misread it then

Find a way to get real mike separated and distracted then drop the hammer on him, drago beat down , tea laser, douse him in molotov whatever we've got

>>18500762
Invisibility does not work on items not attached to us.

>>18500770
Except we are invisible and staying that way until we get an opening.

They can find us if they aren't busy trying to avoid brutal rape from out minions

Jesus i leave you guys for like an hour and you roll 3 nat 1's.

>>18500783
We already have that opening.
He's distracted by fighting the familiars.
If all of them turned on him.
He'll know something is up

>>18500833
No Ted charges him.
He will be wary and know something is coming so we need a distraction so we can set him up to take a hit from us

>>18500823
And I think it was 3 separate people who managed it as well

'Lo, J. COVER TED.' you order your familiars.
'TED, Attack the one with the shield!'

Lo grabs the spear off the one he was fighting and breaks the tip off, giving himself a staff.
J sidesteps the flail weilder and joins up with Lo.
Ted charges.

The real Mike looks up to see the huge dinosaur running right at him.
He puts his guard up as you sneak behind him.
You take out your teapot and fire.

ROLLEM**

>>18500823
I got a 1 in the double ones then I got a 100

>>18500747
Close in on real mike then time stop and pound on him and that shoulder then tea laser from point blank just before we run out of time

rolled 38 = 38

>>18500871
Nat 1 get!

rolled 21 = 21

>>18500871
In before we blast Ted...

rolled 8 = 8

>>18500871
Dammit, this is all going to fall apart!

rolled 27 = 27

>>18500871

TEAPOT BREAAAAKERRRRRRRRRR

rolled 5 = 5

>>18500871
Looks like Mike
Is about to be served

rolled 63 = 63

>>18500871
Considering tonight's luck, this is going to be a clusterfuck.

rolled 8 = 8

>>18500871
Dice gods hate us tonight
Check this 1

rolled 79 = 79

TEA BEAMU!

rolled 68 = 68

>>18500871
"Alright, no more monkey business."

rolled 8 = 8

>>18500871
Time to see if self-loathing still works on the dice.
This is going to suck. Tonight has shown that the dice are out to get us.

rolled 1 = 1

>>18500894
No need to go bananas

rolled 71 = 71

"BOO".

rolled 91 = 91

>>18500871

EAT LASER U STUPID MONEY

rolled 92 = 92

>>18500871
Eh, I got this.

rolled 24 = 24

Tonight is going to be the worst night in history for our rolls

>>18500880
>>18500886
>>18500890
>>18500895
>low rolls, low rolls everywhere

The massive beam of tea hits him square in the back.
He turns away from Ted and faces you.
He raises his shield to block, and begins to walk through the beam.
You pump more power in.

ROLLEM**

>>18500901
>>18500902
>>18500910

Buh- but.. they got this!

rolled 55 = 55

>>18500910
I got this again.

rolled 57 = 57

>>18500910
Its a scripted battle. clearly.

rolled 47 = 47

>>18500910
Cool rolls here bros

rolled 88 = 88

>>18500910
WELL AT LEAST NOBODY ROLLED A 1 RIGHT LG?

rolled 89 = 89

>>18500910
We suck and we're clearly going to lose. Fucking dice gods.

rolled 41 = 41

>>18500897
Wow.
Just wow.
I have never seen something like this happen ever, the dice are sentient they do hate us and they like pimp gorillas apparently

rolled 96 = 96

>>18500910

Fuck it. OUR POWER IS MAXIMUM.

rolled 37 = 37

>>18500923
Mah Nigga!

>>18500923
>>18500920
>>18500919

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

rolled 46 = 46

>>18500910
BADGERCUNTDICKSFUCKNOOOOOOOOOOOOOPENOTAGAIN

rolled 23 = 23

>>18500910
FUUUUCK!

rolled 15 = 15

>>18500910
y'know, this point blank laser thing never seems to work on the instructors.

how bout we just stop the laser and let ted eat him?

rolled 33 = 33

>>18500921
Ok, to be fair: Is there anyone who doesn't like pimp gorillas?

>>18500936
Haters.
But personally I love pimp gorillas

>>18500935
Keep layering him and then let Ted eat him when he gets close enough

inb4 athena's curse suddenly weakens us

>>18500944
Or we draw power out from her so we can actually win this

Or more likely a hole opens in the universe and eats us

>>18500920
>>18500919
"No more Monkey business." you say as your beam flares up and your majaik consumption goes into the red.
The shield is blown away from his hand.
He tries to block with the sword, and takes some steps towards you.

The one with the crossbow aims at you, but Lo disarms him with his staff.
Ted swats away three more running for you from the side.

You pour your last remaining Majaik into your shot.
ROLLEM**

rolled 66 = 66

>>18500949
We're going to pass out and miss Sousuke's training trip that we've been looking forward to all week, aren't we? Just another failure in Hayate's life.

rolled 81 = 81

>>18500949

TAKE THIS! MY LOVE! MY ANGER! AND ALL OF MY SWAG!

SHINING TEALASER!!!!!!!!!

rolled 69 = 69

>>18500949

AIM FOR THE WOUND IN HIS SHOULDER.

rolled 71 = 71

>>18500949
:V

Goddammit 4 nat 1's in a single thread! The end is upon us gentleman, we have abused the power of the dice gods and now they have forsaken us for it.

rolled 37 = 37

>>18500949

You didn't pick the 96? For shame.

Fuck it. MAXIMUM BEAMU

rolled 64 = 64

>>18500949
I will buy you a banana after I win.

rolled 53 = 53

FUCK HIM UP!
On a side note is there any way we can get nanoha to teach us any divine buster shit.

rolled 20 = 20

>>18500949

Fuck the odds!

>>18500949
>no 96

Fuck it. I'm calling that one in, damnit.

>>18500967
We should probably look into that

>>18500969
Yeah seconded.
We have had enough rape so far, even if we pass out we need to fuck him up

rolled 75 = 75

ATHENA, DON'T FAIL ME KNOW

rolled 82 = 82

>>18500949

We are going to win so hard that any girl within a mile radius of us will get soaking wet.

>>18500982
Like the night with Hina?
Snap out fingers and make their panties dissolve from sheer swag?

>>18500990

Yes.

>>18500982
Erica, Hina, Sakamoto and the idols are probably already there

>>18500996
Erica definitely is after that shit we pulled after her loss.

>that last roll was for how long you will be passed out
>>18500923
>>18500955

You increase the power and tighten the beam.
Aiming right at the wound in his shoulder.
He noticed this and tries to throw the sword at you.
J blocks it with his arms, wounding himself.

The beam sinks in and you blast through Mike and sweep the beam diagonally down through his chest.

"You win." He says before he disappears.


You rematerialize in the gym.
"Great work kid." Mike tells you wit ha pat on your shoulder.
"Thanks Mi-"
You begin to lose consciousness

>>18501004
We better wake up on our girls this time.
No more waking up in gorilla laps

>>18501004

YES

>>18501004
AAAND we wake up in Keima's and Perrine's arms.

>>18501004
I am half expecting a hue hue hue or harem expecting us.

You are Perinne Clostermann, a witch in the Bureau.
And you were watching him fight.

He won with a grace and strength you've never seen before.
He reappeared in the gym and passed out.
You run up to him.

>>18501004
We owe all of our familiars after this, and especially J, for taking that shot meant for us. We don't do enough for him.

rolled 71 = 71

>>18501031
Fuck off Perinne, nobody likes you.

>>18501031
HERE COME THE FROGGY TRAIN!
WOO WOO!

>>18501045
Uh, I like her. Also, I feel bad for her.

>>18501004
>You rematerialize in the gym.

Wait, so we *were* in a training field? Or did Mike teleport out?

>>18501045
Hey! That's uncalled for.

rolled 23 = 23

>>18501045

Piss off.

>>18501050
Of course we were in a training field.

You are Perinne Clostermann, a witch in the Bureau.
And you are sitting on the floor.

His head is in your lap.
He is still out cold.
You sit there not minding the looks people are giving you.

>>18501057
>"No training field Mike?"
>"Nah. Let's give em a live show." he grins up at you.

First post, y'know.

>>18501045
Dude kind of fucked, im not a big fan either but still she's in the process of tsun to dere so at least she trying.

>>18501050
In a smaller field people could see into

>>18501047
>>18501045
>>18501056
Screw all of you, just because she isn't your waifu

>>18501059
Erica and Hina are not going to be too happy.
Nor Ursula, when she finds out.

>>18501059
Erica is going to be pissed. Hina is going to be confused.

>>18501059

we will be in so much trouble and not even know why, when we wake up.

>>18501071
I think Erica knew to a degree already.
Hina definitely knew

Ursula and Hina won't be happy but I think Hina won't be as averse

>>18501071

Perhaps not, but fuck-all we can do while unconscious.

>>18501049
You don't count. You're obviously insane.

>>18501051
Is it? Is it really? We have two girlfriends in the room to worry about us. We've talked to her like 4 times, she's not even a friend yet. She has no business putting out head in her lap.

>>18501056
My die beat your die so I'm obviously in the right here.

You are Sakamoto Mio, a liasons officer for witch/Bureau relations.
And you are watching the fights.

Erica and Hina are now also off fighting.
Your 'wife' just won against his handler.
You continue to drink.

>>18501050
I meant to say, "the protection field dematerilizes"

>>18501079

Who wants to bet Mio's gone absolutely bonkers for us after that?

>>18501082
We have also been quite nice to her, we are unconscious and she has been fucking obsessing over us for ages.

Either stick to the character or piss off

>>18501059

>>18501084
>Erica and Hina are now also off fighting.
They didn't see? Shit. Someone damn well better have a recording for us to show them.

>>18501085
Probably quite likely.
She is drinking but she will be plotting since she was already making moves

>>18501084
Is that a "just as planned" 'continue to drink', or a "holy shit that was fucking nuts" 'continue to drink'?

>>18501086
>Either stick to the character or piss off
The character is unconscious, as you said. It wasn't a suggestion for something for Hayate to say - he can't fucking say anything and doesn't know it's happening anyway. It was just me hating Perinne. Am I not allowed to have opinions now?

You are Sakamoto Mio, a liasons officer for witch/Bureau relations.
And an interesting situation has begun to unfold.

He has passed out like he did back in the castle.
Perinne is cradling his head in her lap, her look unreadable.
You continue to drink.


>>18501082
I AM ALSO INSANE.

>>18501110
You can but it means I can still hate you for being a dick

>>18501106
Probably a "holy shit I need new panties" continue to drink

>>18501110
No, you're allowed to have your opinions, unpopular as they are. Why are you surprised at being hated for holding an unpopular opinion?

>>18501082
Yes. It was quite uncalled for.

wait, does this mean LG's going to bed real soon?

>>18501137
Maybe.
He does these when necessary as well as at the end of a thread

>>18501137
Probably.

>>18501125
And you are never alone in that.

>>18501137
That, or Hayate's passed out and he wants to pass some time.

>>18501125

i feel happy now LG Thank you.

>>18501137
quick! Anybody remember the last time he had a pack to smoke?

>>18501153
He probably has three next to his computer

>>18501153
If he isn't mentioning it, he's probably fine

>>18501125
>I AM ALSO INSANE
>I wish you were real so i could show you my eiffel tower. And the i ca go through you arc du triumph
Yes, I gathered that.

>>18501126
That's fine. I can hate Perinne and you can hate me.

>>18501127
I'm not surprised at being hated, I was surprised at the suggestion that everybody in the thread has to be one giant Hayate hivemind that never deviates from anything he would think.

>>18501136
It wasn't. People seem to be forgetting that Perinne is an unlikeable bitch just because she wants our cock. A reminder was sorely needed.

>>18501164
Or he has no money to buy them and is trying to ignore it

All hail SuperButler?

>>18501180
>Giant hivemind
Nope, we can barely agree on what food to eat remember?

"Hey, Hey. Is big-brother alright?" the twins ask her.
"Yeah. He just needs some rest." She tells them.
"Are you another one of his girlfreinds? nishihi." ami laughs.
"W-what?!" she blushes but prevents herself from moving too much.
"Weeeell... You did look very concerned for him when he fell.. And you did run to him saying his name..." Mami says slyly.
"I.. I'm not." Perrine answers softly. "I'm not."

>>18501180
Actually she seems to be less of an unlikeable bitch in this universe, still not a favorite but she gets along with most the witches at least

>>18501203
>"I.. I'm not." Perrine answers softly. "I'm not."

HELP. I AM FEELING BAD FOR PERRINNE.

>>18501203
I suppose that with our accelerated majaik regeneration, we should be unconscious for less time than previously. Hopefully we won't miss Sagara's training trip.

>>18501180
>She only wants our cock
That's your opinion, and that's fine, so long as you know not everyone shares it, which I'm sure you do. Besides, that's where it started with Erica.

>>18501186
So there's no real point in mentioning it, is there?

>>18501203

ARRRGH YOU HIT ME RIGHT IN MY EMOTIONS!

>>18501211
It's okay, man, it's okay.

>>18501220
Probably not a good idea mentioning it.
Didn't really stop me though

>>18501220
>She only wants our cock
>That's your opinion
No it isn't. She likes us. I'm saying the fact that she wants our cock is distracting people and making them think she's girlfriend-material when she's not.

>>18501203
That is kind of scary, it feels like they are planning rape in that picture

>>18501211

Bitch has been desperately needing a hug for like a week now.

>>18501203

holy shit she did not say

>yet

OH SHIT, does our swag work while we are offline?

You wake up to something soft and warm under your head.
'God. I hope it's not Mike again.' you think to yourself.
"...I'm not." you hear someone say above you.
You open your eyes to find Perrine holding you in her lap.
"Ooooh. Niichan is awake now."
"Niichan! Niichan! You were so cool!" the twin idols tell you.
"Are you alright?" Perrine asks peering down at you.

>>18501238
Actually it is your opinion.
She fell for us slower than Erica did and with more reason than a few sausage jokes

>>18501245

"I'm fine now, thanks."

Sit up.

"How long was I out for?

>>18501245
"I- Yes, I think I am. Thank you, Perrine."

>>18501245
"Yes, I'm better now, thank you. I'm terribly sorry to have troubled you, Ms. Perrine."

'Hey Kraus, how long was I out for? Any changes to my majaik reserves?'

>>18501245
"Yes, thankyou.
Actually, this feels rather comfortable like this."

>>18501260

A bit too formal I think.

>>18501257
>Yes I am the thanks, I isn't pushed myself too hard.

Are you Yoda?

>>18501245
Yes I am the thanks, I just pushed myself too hard.
When did you get here though Perrine? I didn't see you here when I started my fight with Mike

>>18501262

And then she either starts to lost it from pent up emotions, or shoves us off her lap.

>>18501268
No my autocorrect just fucking hates me on this tablet

>>18501271
I think she has sort of lost the Tsun by this point.
At least that's how I see it given her last few side story bits

>>18501247
>Actually it is your opinion.
What the fuck? You can't tell me what my opinion is. You can disagree with it, you can tell me I'm not communicating it clearly, but you can't tell me you know what my opinion is better than me. That's... I've been here too long to say it's the most retarded thing I've ever seen, but it's pretty fucking retarded.

WELP.

>Heh. http://pic.twitter.com/V01wgODX

>>18501269

>Deletes post.
>Reposts it.
>Same fucking error.

Cracking up so hard right now.

>>18501281
Well funny because it is.
She has had more character reason for liking us than"she wants our cock" and she has shown more fucking depth than Erica did when we went for her, like it or not you are putting your opinion as fact

>>18501285

Yes, I am the thanks.

>>18501285
Umm what error?
The error I saw was isn't being where just should be

"I'm fine now, thanks."
"Are you sure?" she asks
You sit up.
"Yeah. So how long was I out?"
"Just a couple of minutes Niichan. You looked so comfortable in her lap though. Nishishi" the twins tell you.
Perrine blushes at this and tries to hide her face behind her hands.
"Thank you Perrine." You say as you stand up and help her up.

WAT DO?
[ ]go back to your seat
[ ]other?

>>18501301

see >>18501294

>>18501301
>The error I saw was isn't being where just should be

You're priceless. You really are.

>>18501292
>She has had more character reason for liking us than "she wants our cock" and she has shown more fucking depth than Erica did when we went for her
I agree. I never said different. I said that people in this thread are being distracted by the fact that she likes us, and she's still a bitch.

>>18501285
Ah see it now.
Can't be fucked changing it at this point

>>18501245
... Is Lo alright?

>>18501310

Go back to seat.

Invite Perrine to join us in watching the match.

>>18501310
[X]go back to your seat, with Perrine, and engage her in pleasant conversation while keeping an eye on the girl's final matches.

>>18501310
Pop out the familiars and check on them.
Take a seat and ask Perrine if she'd like to join us.
If J is up for it, some tea would be lovely

>>18501316
Fair enough.

>>18501310
Talk to Mike thank him for an epic battle then go collapse on our seat and probably get swamped by girls again

>>18501310
[x]go back to your seat
also pull out Jakob, and personally thank him for taking that sword meant for us. Without him and the others, we would have lost the match against Mike badly.

>>18501318
No reason he shouldn't be. It was Jakob that got hurt.

We should see if he's okay, for that matter. Healing potion ahoy!

>>18501283
"Heh." seems right. I just said it myself.