>>18654154
Odd as it sounds, I could swear we already had a thread on this a while back. Still, good stuff!

How about try this out here?

Or if you want to have little more to your magical battles: Kilpalaulanta or Battlesinging.

Basically a duel of sorcerers in old finnish myths, where the duelists throw spells and try to one up eachother in knowledge at the same time. And it all has to rhyme.

>>18654209
We did. It was a couple of months ago I think? I'm not sure exactly but I remember it happened.

>>18654209
Really? That's awesome!

>>18654224
Hark, for I speak with perfect clarity
My poetic flyta is so good, it's a rarity
And I shalt not lose to a peasant's son
Who shalt only face death when this war is won!
Like a coward, you shalt run away from my blade
Peeing thine pants because you're much too afraid
Once I defeat you in flyt, I will have your wife spayed
'Cause she's not worthy to carry any children in this age!
Thou weak and furious, your rectum is raw
Let us flyta together until I smash thine jaw
And then I shall share some mead with thee
Because I shall prevail, and this will be my victory!

bump for creative flyting!

Väinämöinen vs Joukahainen in Kalevala:

Cried Joukahainen,
“You won’t fight?
Then I’ll use great magic on you!
I’ll chant you to a pig,
change you to a swine.
After that, I’ll strike you dead,
throw you on a dunghill!”

Then Vainamoinen grew angry.
He began to chant.
The earth shook,
the sky rumbled.
Water splashed from the lake,
the stones cracked.

Vainamoinen chanted
and the sword of Joukahainen
became lightning bolts across the sky.
His crossbow turned to a rainbow over the lake,
his arrows to hawks overhead.

Vainamoinen chanted
and the sleigh of Joukahainen
became a log in the water.
His horse turned to a boulder on the shore,
his whip to a reed on the bank.

Vainamoinen chanted
and the coat of Joukahainen
became a cloud in the sky.
His hat turned to a water lily on the lake,
his belt to a snake among the reeds.

Vainamoinen chanted
and Joukahainen sank in the marshy ground,
up to his waist in the swallowing earth.

what is the source on OPs picture? I've seen similar ones around, I just don't know what they are from.

>>18654477
Looks like art for the Banner Saga game.

You know that we've had rap battle threads before, right? My name is relevant to the story of that night.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17425007/

Awwwwww snap, love you /tg/

>>18654492
Is that going to be made? Is /tg/ excited for that?

>>18654309

Hark their cousin lend me your ear,
Like how your wife lends me her rear,
Your ancestry is polluted with womanly men;
Not true warriors, they were to weave in the den.
How many gold rings do you think you're worth?
for a man who has more use giving birth.
You can't grip a sword—your hands are too soft—
Old men use your mouth as a piss trough.
Give me that ale, it is a true warrior's draught
You've had too much, your cheeks are red hot.
It is sad that women cannot hold their ale
A warrior needs his mead before he sets sail.

>>18654605
It's 'there', ass.

Learn your grammar.

>>18654602
Yeah, it is going to be made. Kickstarter funding is over four times the goal right now. Personally I am looking forwards to some norse-flavoured tactical RPGing.

Sauron in the house I'm the Thane of Morgoth
When I step into the room posers know to step off
I Studied under Aule so I know how to craft shit
I can change my shape at will so you'd better just forfeit
Turn into a man gonna give you a poundin'
Turn into a wolf gonna kill Huan the houndin'
I'm the chief spy of Morgoth, The Lord in Angband
I'm his eyes and ears I bring him news of the land
Don't try to lie to me I get news from the trees
Among my servants are the beasts birds and bees
So now you know my power and you can't contest
Prepare your body, Fingon gonna rap you to death

>>18654605
Man, I like that a lot hahaha!

Womanly men? You could not be more mistaken
For my clan bred courage into yours by raping your maidens!
The only reason you even have half a sack
Is because your lineage eagerly laid down on your back!
So when you call me cousin, it might just be true
That my "womanly men" are related to you!
Odin spoke clearly, you must drink in measure
Or else you'll bend over like an Ergi drunk on pleasure!
Don't think I don't know you, Seidwife
Weaving poorly crafted shirts, never fought in your life!
Be careful what you say to me if you don't have the balls
Now get back on the fields like a good little Thrall!

>>18654309


Thy victory? Surely you jest

The only words thou speak clearly
are meagre and looked 'pon austerely!

You call ME a peasant, with your demure little crest
Though poor I may be,
I hold mine own 'gainst knights like thee;
Thy true flyting is in flight from me!

Come at me, knave! Thy threat was made
Or crave thou return to thy stable
To chew at thy lord's lordly bit?
I afford no blade sharper than my wit

And say what thou wilt of mine darling wife,
I've never met a man; so covetous I could weep.
How daily thine portentous eye wanders more than
thy privates in thy sheep!

There's no need to spay my wife
When thy seed is only fit for sows
We peasants may be poor
But we can see you prefer your cows.

My rectum is raw from being worked to death in the field
Thine from thy horses
to whom you daily yield.

You may have me hanged today
But come tomorrow you will pay.
The heavens disprove thy rife misdeeds
Drink heartily now, for tomorrow
comes a knife in thy back
And poison in thy meads

Are you telling me that the vikings put on the dozens?

>>18654795
Yes.

>>18654781
Awww snap! Hahaha, glorious! I'd say that was a bodybag right there, but I'll try and write something up:

Which such a sore bottom, you're unfit for sitting
Shut thy whore mouth before I give you a whipping!
I've set sail without fail from coast to coast
And my solstice celebrations involve tasty roasts!
I've earned my spot as the top of my warband
By cutting down your likes into even LESS of a man
So keep your mouth shut around your lord, please
For in this battle of flyta, I am fucking LOKI
I shall expose your secrets, for my servants tell me
Of all your unmanly gestures, like sitting down when you pee!
My nobility and ancestry has undoubtedly been blessed
While you tote around wearing your pig-wife's dress!
I can't stress how little you are to me
Not even on a Jotun would you be able to be
Half the noble warrior that you currently see
So finish thy mead, before I have to pay for a murder spree fee!

Speaking of chanting and battle singing, I allways picture it sounding something akin to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXvKvO77yNQ

Scrubs be warned: beware my orcish rhyme,
Step up to me and you gotta moutain fallen to climb,
This battle had ended when I uttered one word,
Look around and see all other MC's scurred.
I got that grimy rap with vicious style,
So sit back cause this flo will last a while...

I've slain countless foes bare-handed,
My body scarred, my face branded,
Never meet another warrior like me,
No matter how many others you'll see.
Bested in neither battle nor rhyme,
or by space or time.
When I speak of my strength I never jest,
Give my foes their rites before I lay them to rest.
Cause i got the alpha and omega in my hands,
Watch as you get crushed like rocks into sand

>>18654856
Haha. Oh man. Thanks for having the balls to start this off. I can't do squat without someone to work with.

You tell me to shut it
because you can't take the truth
Yet continues thine yell with thy words uncouth

Thou boast 'bout thy big hunts
Thou boast thy great travels
But when thou return irate
Thou'rt the pig they roast!

I'd be head of my own warband
if warbands were large as yours
A band of one hunting only bores!

You may be fucking Loki,
But that cannot make a man.

So I sit when I pee
And wear my wife's dress
We have one pair of clothes
And they bring me less shame
than would wearing thy family's crest

The only noble I see is the son of swine
Who lets his people starve for a few sips of wine
Though you may be my lord, you will never be my master
Get thee back to thy kennel
A misbehaving slave ends only in disaster

>>18655122
Look, it's an orc, but not even half as tough
Complains that his weapon weighs too much
Your entire existence is pure fantasy
While my people made glory a reality
We conquered the seas and the British were scared
Of our mighty king, Harald Fairhair!
Keep your dreams in your head, young lad
You won't win a battle by acting all bad
I've cleaved shields with my waraxe
Your only trial in life is getting a Bikini wax!
So don't spit against a true Jarl, this battle is won
You ain't orc, you're HALF, AND you might be my son!
I held your mom by her tusks and took her hard
Didn't wear no sheepskin rubber, and fucked her apart
So let me tell you before you even start
I'm the ONLY reason you have half the talent of a bard!

>>18655270
oh snap

>>18655122

You may be strong
But you're too dumb to hide

What kind of fool challenges this MC in his stride?

The battle did end when you uttered one word
But you can't claim victory just cause you "durrrrr'd"

Flyting is a learned man's battle
Now watch as I ravage this savage
Speaking orcs? A poor farmer's cattle.

So you can chase but can you defeat a door?
Push, not pull, knave; discretion undeferred

Three syllable words two syllables too many?
I can dumb down my flyting if you so demand

Hey! Look o'er there!

It's the back of my hand.

>>18655222
Your verses bring me great elation
Because they remind me you have NO education!
Your spelling is rancid, even simple things like boar
Let the whipping commence, and leave your back sore!
My warband is over 50 brave men
I wouldn't even let your shit try out for them!
For you're more soft than a pillow, oh that's right
You don't know what one feels like!
My money and my status was hard earned
You remain a peasant who is just spurned
So please, remain angry all the time
And ignore that your heir is a bastard of mine!
Your wife moaned like a whore when I used her like a tool!
She took it willingly too, didn't have to be forceful!
And even though she looks like a pig, you see
You and your family remain my property!
So go back to work, and spit no more lines!
Or I shall cleave you and let your blood flow like wine!
Please dear peasant, listen to me
Because these are my lands, and this is my victory!

Haha, you bodybagged me hard!

>>18654154
Who is that artist? I'd like to see if I can find a picture of that woman alone since she looks just like my Vampire if her hair was blond.

>>18655439
>>18655411
>>18655270


That's it, you have incited my wrath,
Now you shall see that which you can never grasp.
These milk drinkers seem to love to boast,
but after this battle their children I'll roast.
MC Forbit you rhyme of realism,
but your I'l body break, straight up schism
I'll never back down from a battle, whoever the foe,
Rhyming to the the last breath, can't succumb to woe,
I excuse the delay of my retaliation,
but soon all the who opposed me will meet pure devatation.

>>18655759
goddamnit, i always forget a letter, welp thanks /tg/ its been fun. see yall next time

>>18655759
goddamnit, i always forget a letter, welp thanks for a good first rap battle /tg/, its been fun. see yall next time

>>18655759
Settle down, you little rape baby
You're just mad you weren't born a lady!
You're not even half as tough as an average viking
We actually demolished, you're not even a real thing!
So keep that imaginary rage going
Trying to solve your daddy issues by flowing
But there's no flow that can tip over me
We CONQUERED the sea, bitch I'm a VIKING!

Damn right, I've got so much control over flow that I sail upstream
And since another MC joined, you're gonna get tag teamed!
Don't cry orc tears when we win, orc boy
And NO; daddy won't buy you a new toy!

>>18654154
my god it all makes sense now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uVL_dhJWWc

I just imagine vikings rapping something like this.

>>18655439
Hnnngg. Those first five lines are frickin brilliant.

I don't need a pillow! I sleep on the ground!
I can take a life of hardship; you're still wearing makeup!
Sit your round rear down, knave
Call for a servant; try to be observant
'Fore your sweat makes you upset

Your warband of fifty might be real nifty
had your people not waged war on animals their equal
Maybe if you nobles did a better job keeping us alive
We wouldn't have to dive into Revolution of '05: the sequel!

I'm not worried for my wife
If your fife is big as your fief,
Then it had as short a life as it was brief

A catch like her is worthy of a king
You're just jealous I beat you to the wedding ring

Try as you might, you'll never alight with
My pure-hearted miller's daughter
Nay, I was there the frightful night
You drank and mistook the POTTER'S OTTER.
Besides
She looks 'pon thanes and higher
with disdain, you knave and liar.

You may like to win the day,
but I'll laugh in my grave
when they stick your slave's skull on a pike

This rebuttal, man. Had lunch, then took forever, and I don't even like it that much. Also, I need to get back to tending my mill. Wife and three kids to feed. Figuratively. Literally have to go, unfortunately, so I'll cede the victory to you. Haha.

>>18656163
Nah man, you won, no contest!

I flow with the liches, the dragons, malkavians,
now y'all niggas spittin scandinavian?
I'm straight subterranean, try to get your scene planned,
before I deport y'all asses back to greenland.
And I demand a challenge, let Thor take the bait,
cuz I was swinging hammers, when he was crossin' Baldur's gate!
And I'm older than Odin, got more wisdom in my molars;
He got problems with Giants? I got beef with Solars!
That bifrost? Please, just a rainbow stroller,
Just like a Corolla can't compete with a Lambo,
and then I stepped to Finland and reforged the Sampo

Ha, check it--

I ain't always around, but when it's to my liking,
I'll strap up an axe and thug it straight viking,
spikin' chumps to the ground, ain't got time to behead,
I spend my nights in Valhalla and I ain't even dead!
They used to shred metal, now they rockin' the 'Board,
echoin' my lyrics offa' every fjord,
and hordes don't phase me, I put the piece to the masses,
turnin' your men from solids to liquids, to gases,
I surpass you, yield to my superior rhyming--
a frost giant is thee and I'm poppin' jotun-hymen

>>18656715

Yo, you must be undead 'cause you got no brains
You must've gone hollow, 'cause you're fucking insane
In this battle, I'm the Grim Reaper
My rhymes will leave you mute just like the Firekeeper
Chosen Undead, I'm a God in your eyes
I sunbro while your ass leave messages with lies
So quit your sin before you're as gay as Gwyndolin
And his kin, bitch, my rhymes are so fancy
Bitches see the flames I spit and think it's Pyromancy!

Your manboobs are huge, you're a basement dwelling queer
People mistake you for a fat, hairy Gwynevere!
And I bet your girly ass is all lag-stabbin'
But it's cool, I'll just defeat your mom's gaping dragon!
I can't wait to see the amount of souls
Your mom will get from being tag-teamed by Biggie and Smalls

My rhymes leave you scorched just like the First Flame
Your skills are so bad, you should find a new game
Maybe something with a cute screen when it loads?
Hey, I hear Skyrim's got a CASUAL mode!
Or was it Novice? I'm in Office in the Abyss
With Pharis and the Goddess smoking cannabis
4 Kings serve me, 'cause of my prowess
Your first name is spelled "COWARDICE"
I serve your ass through Black Knight catering
You wanna battle me? Go ring the Bells of Awakening!

And you may spit shit, but when it's all said and done
You lift your arms like the bitch you are and PRAISE THE SUN!

>>18656715
That was incredibly tight!

If you're subterranean and live underground
Then nothing you spit could be very profound
Words from a dokkalfar will never have any impact
You're just an imitation of the real thing, and that's a fact!
Don't react like a sap when I crush your entire hometown
And don't jump like a bitch when you hear my warhorn's sound!
I'm profound, my flow's so great you'll drown
Kicked right off the boat, your corpse will never be found!

You spit about the Gods completely without fear
But I guess you haven't heard of my man Tyr
That motherfucker knows the rope
Used to bind Fenris down, that shit was dope
Sacrificed his right hand, so now you know the scope
He's done more for us than you, so sit down and cope!
And Odin would wreck your shit any day
That motherfucker flyts in the best way
Everything you'll ever do rests in his hands
Or he'll have the Norns straight slash your wingspan!
Or wrists, man, make this fly crash land
Because Winter is upon us, get inside while you can!

Poppin' Jotun hymen? You have no tact
If you really think your dick is big enough for THAT!
Just like your Board, your lyrics are straight flat
And just like your sword, I won't leave you intact!
So try to spit back and flip that while you cry about your body fat
While I show you how a viking truly raps
This is Flyting, we invented this shit
My shit so hot, you're gonna need oven mitts
My flyta will turn your brain to mush
I'm the shit, you're just a courtesy flush

>>18656920
I asked for a challenge, get the fuck outta my sight,
y'all frontin' the sun, but ya scared of the night,
you ain't too bright, are ya solar powered?
Cuz I ain't got a curfew, I'm working all hours;
I'll scour your existence as a mercy killing,
my heart's colder than Icelandic oil drilling,
and as I'm spilling your entrails, I'll create a grim ward,
This is what you get for crossing the 'Board!
You can't afford the price, there ain't no turning back,
and I'll activate my rage for a stronger attack,
I'm not lacking in that respect, don't misunderstand:
just you know how badly your shit's been canned.
And droppin' Biggie's name in vain? Nigga you should be banned!
A reprimand from me ain't gonna suffice,
So I'll resurrect his ghost and give him the first slice-
Wait, hang on, he says he can't pay you no strife;
because when yo' talent died it became the joke of the afterlife.
And you talkin 'bout Skyrim? That my life story, biographic.
But it had to be dumbed down for your brainless demographic,
because I traffic in beatdowns, don't suspend your disbelief;
they plagiarized my childhood and called it "Master Chief"
so let me be brief, as my words rock these halls,
while you're praising the sun-god, she's praising my balls.

>>18657140
I'm the flush royale, ridding the world of you,
and you were right about one thing-- comparing yourself to poo,
You speak for the gods, but they answer to me,
Odin once talked back and I speared his ass to the tree,
I'm free to do as I please, unlimited Asgardian credit,
and if that's the best you can do, best head back to Reddit.
And I've edited history, I was the beginner;
When I told Odin to stand back as I chopped up Ymir,
Let that simmer for a bit, I know you find it shocking,
and I'll end the world too when I start Ragnarocking!
And I've been cockblocking Jotuns since the dawn of time,
Size doesn't matter when you know how to rhyme,
But mine ain't lacking-- you can ask Thor's wife,
that bitch rides lightning but I gave her the time of her life,
Let it be known, as I divine you an omen,
You try to swagger like a man but you rhyme like a woman.

>>18657235
>>18657235

Sorry for the late response!

Scared of the night? I face the Dark every day
Every breath I take is to keep the fear at bay
But I've been in Lodran for too long to be afraid
So go and sleep in the Bed of Chaos that you made
I paid with my life to find my own Sun
I don't run, my miracles make you look like a nun
I shoot lightning spears, I'm a true believer
The Age of Fire is here, I'm God, you're just a deceiver
Yo, real world events, Iceland hasn't started drilling
Right now they're broke without any oil spilling
I think you were trying to say Norway, man
But I wouldn't be surprised if you're an American

If Skyrim is the story of how you spend your days
Please forgive me if I'm not amazed
Between fucking waifus and modding in furry AIDS
The only reason you're winning the game
Is because you toggle God Mode to avoid the pain!
If you're a Dragonborn, that explains a lot
'Cause that makes your mom Seath's little slut!
I cut you wide open like the gaping dragon, Board
And at least I actually have a goal to work towards!
I'll beat you so bad, your every line will be mine
And I'll ram those shit bars where the Sun doesn't shine!

>>18656715
>>18657235
>>18657465

>what's going on in this thread
>rap battles
>Sword n' Board

>Jotun Hymen
Sword n' Board is the official rap-master of /tg/

i wish i had the english knowledge and education to be able to participate in these sort of threads.

thank you. ive enjoyed these

>>18657482
PRAISE THE SUN!

>>18657465
God damn this nigga can rap.

>>18657535
He has been for years.

>>18657482
These Aryan rhymes come off whack and shoddy,
when you try to impersonate a perfect blackbody,
this ain't a hobby, I'm surprised you got the nerve,
for another round of pain after what I've served,
Just know I will preserve what's left of you canopically,
so you can see the last sun die entropically,
Topically speaking, your end is sequential,
As all kinetic energy reverts to potential,
Essentially poetic, back to ground state,
and you will know the inevitability of your fate,
as my hate preserves me, every bit intentional,
and I live to see it, cuz my flow's extradimensional,
unconventional lyrics, more powerful than runes,
like trying to shoot three's when I shoot for the moon,
I'm in tune with the 'verse, my lyrics take physical form,
so shack up with the Norns, if you think you're clever;
because winter is coming, and it lasts forever.

In this thread, the legend of MC Sword n' Board has been renewed for a new generation of fa/tg/uys.

I am deeply honoured to live in such times.

ITT the sickest burns known to man or god

>>18657535
No doubt.

>>18657465

Ha! As if the Gods would pay attention
To a weakling with Ergi intentions
Your dreams are filled with visions being speared
Loki was right: both Odin AND you are quite queer
'Cause things are about to go down like the Lokasenna in here
And I'm the only one that these Gods fear!
Like my name implies, I don't stand that high
I'd chew up your ankles, but I won't lie
You're so short, I'll slice off your right thigh!
Yo, let me make real world ref
And I really hope that it's one that you get
I let loose rhymes like a prison warden tryin' to free ya
You assemble rhymes like they come boxed from IKEA
Don't pretend you ain't feeling me
I'll outrap you with great Abilities
And like his latest album - you've got no Eyedea!

You claim that you've fucked Siv, that may be true
But she fucked Loki too, so what does that make you?
I guess you got sloppy seconds, you fool
So don't rep or I'll sacrifice you in Yule!
Yo, you spit rhymes ready for Helheim
Have a nice afterlife, being cold and bored all the time!
That's what awaits you, for you are no warrior
Your Wyrd has been cut, and I can't feel sorry for ya
Your Urlog has been dumped and flushed out to sea
So don't try spitting against the likes of me
Your ergi tendencies make wonder if you're Greek
And your flow ends here, you've reached your peak
I'm just getting started, putting on my wooly socks
So sit the fuck down before I open Pandora's box!

>See a flyting thread
>remember it's a north/west germanic art
>encounter no alliterative verse
>encounter ALL the end-rhymes

mfw


I've weary-grown of wasted words, wait and watch a-while I tell
this contest crude is for crap-sack coons, the kings you've all dishonored
Remember, you ruddy-runts, end-rhyming rants were rarest then
and flytings arts have alliterative starts, and all your errors are against it.
No noble name nor noresy dame, nary any thing knowing honor
has yet heard a hero's holler, only harlot-hobo sons are hiding here.

>>18657732
I've been waiting for someone to stop rhyming like a Frenchman and start rhyming like a Norse

>>18657646
Solaire here, I'm out! T'was an honor battling you man!

>>18657753
Brolaire keep going, for all of us Sunbros!

>>18657746
Oh snap.

>>18657732

/thread

>This thread

The Man would be proud.

This is, unequivocally, the single best thing ever.

>>18657732

Is this being archived? Because if not It deserves to be

>>18657853

want to help archieve it. what must i do?

>>18657863
Already archived bro!

>>18657882
perfect

This thread should be archived.

Man, I definitely didn't think the thread would turn out like this! Hahaha, this has been really awesome!

How do you all download threads to read later?

>>18657932
I use Google Chrome to screencap the thread with some plugin I don't remember (or maybe it's already there? Don't remember.) But I know there are ways of getting it in pdf form. Either way, thread's been archived so you can read it on suptg!

>>18657943
Thanks! I will just read it on suptg.

That's funny, I actually am Greek

>>18657723
You think you're old school? Try bronze age.
Zeus sent me to mete out some Grecian rage,
Y'all trying to upstage us mythologically,
when it only took you thousands of years to beat us economically,
But philosophically speaking y'all norsemen never had class,
calling us effeminate while playing viking grab-ass,
and last I saw a Nordic woman I needed supplements,
No wonder Thor spent his life fighting serpents,
and in the event that your masculinity's been usurped,
the Greeks have done it all and we were here first!
hate to burst your bubble, but by the same token,
we form a phalanx formation and your berserkers are broken,
I've spoken my peace, but do your own searches,
the Byzantines hired vikings to guard their churches;
That's what you are to us, expendable meat,
with rehashed mythology, thinking that's a feat,
and its not sweet revenge, but more of a favor returned,
that you're bailing out Greece after the economy turned.

CASH THEM CHECKS NIGGAS.

>>18655122
i have a monk half orc in my game that my pc's are trying t ofind out things about....now he is also a rapper...thank you for this

>>18657753
Likewise!
Great rhymes man, keep it up!

>>18657732

Someone on /tg/ capabloe of rapping and voice acting?

Cause this BEGS to be voiced.

>>18657732
Daaaaaaaamn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3w2MTXBebg&feature=related

>this thread

>>18657974
Damn right you're Greek, I could smell your sweat from here
And Aristotle's beard just looks like long ass pubic hairs
I call myself Fotbitr, but now I know that I'm taller
Those nice marble statues? They were covered in hideous colors
Try to cover up your flamboyant side, see
That sums up pretty much ALL of your history!
Pretending to be tough spartans while plowing each other
Like a couple of gay lovers gone undercover afraid of not looking tougher
But everyone knew what you did with little boys, my friend
Nothing but plowing them, an entire nation of pedophile men
Your flow is so wrong it's going backwards too
'Cause you're bronze, I'm steel
I'm STRONGER than you!

Fun fact, although the phalanx was yours
We refined it, vikings used phalanxes, of course
But it ain't the Greeks who brought that to our shores
That was the Romans, the people who conquered yours!
They refined everything you had, they're that bad
Steppin' up clad in red, makin' your homies look sad
Because the Roman military blowed yours to bits
The Byzantium wasn't even your people, you shit
For the glory of Holy Rome vanquished your ass
Passing you off like a bad gyro you finished last

The Roman Empire destroyed the Greek
Now all you're known for are things to eat
And a shit economy, what a treat
To live in your country, you can't even afford a seat
At Fotbitr's shows, bitch I'm so spoiled
Because my country was smart enough to find OIL!

>>18658173
>Blowed

Hahahahahaha, rip me a new one for this, please

>This thread

I love you guys

>>18658173
>Sick spittin' by the both of you
>mfw I enter this thread, Vikings and all sorts of badassery

>>18658173
I felt the heat from here

>>18658173
If its the only place we can still make our mark,
I'll take lamb anyday over fermented shark,
Stuck in dark ages, not fit for the palate,
eating raw fish, make me wish for Thor's mallet,
Errebody got problems, but even at your most vicious
all you manage to say is that our food's delicious?
capricious fortune befalls you, but don't dare to slander;
cuz everyone from here to India knew the name of Alexander,
Greatest commander? Debatable; but perhaps a queer,
but that nigga got more action than you'd see in fifty years!
And you projecting this fear, homophobia, insecurity-
is that the best you can do? Showcase your immaturity?
Historically it shows that the norseman were bro's,
before ho's they had bro's, if you mean what I know.
and it shows in your lyrics, cuz you jellymad;
That the Greeks did more than the Vikings ever have.

>>18658326
>>18658336

Haha, thank you! Sword 'n Board, you still here?

>>18658062
D-did.....did Sword 'N Board just get....told!?

>>18658392
Sicks rhymes man, but I gotta bail. Time for food.

I'll be back later if the thread is still kicking. Please keep this alive, haven't had a rap thread in so long.

>>18658388

Alexander was weak
'cause you've got to seek
For pathetic excuses why you're so meek.

I do mock you for being queer
Because it shows how you fear
That your sybaritic decadence has a price so dear.

Obsession with the body
Is a philosophy so shoddy
Because at the crux you can rely on nobody.

Farthest Alexandria now belongs to Mohammed
All I know is that yes, you mad.

And... er... wassup suckaz, I guess. Sorry I'm new to this.

>>18656715
>a frost giant is thee and I'm poppin' jotun-hymen
This is... my god... holy shit... this is amazing

>>18658173
>>18657974

Your rhymes are weak, your future's bleak
all the flows gone missing
No meter strong, your posture's wrong
my ass you will be kissing.
In all of this world, for young boys and young girls
end-rhymes are not demeaning
but if you're a man, stand up if you can
say something with some meaning

Silly, stupid, sorry saying are soulless and stink with sweat
flowing from a face fatigued, it proves your flow's a farce
reel and rue, wrath abides, the Rhine has reckoned doom
Thou thinking thoughts that say your good, thou thinking is most thin.
Behold, how blowing bold the baboon blusters behind a wordy bulwark.
with fdelity to flytings founding I'll fight fully to the finish.
Shortly said, these simple sayings sort the Sirs and sort the squire.

>Sword n Board is here
>Missed him

Man, I gotta say, too bad I had to pass
Too busy to rap battle, I was stuck in class

>>18658388
>>18658388

Spoke too soon, that was tight!

Stuck in the dark ages, stop spreading lies
Because we don't hide our rotting food behind spice!
Now I'm from Norway, so obviously I'm nice
Cross country skiing has been a part of my life
My country's quite rich while yours is quite spent
You guys have to beg for money from your pimp, the UN!
Can't even clothe and feed yourselves right
If this was a real battle, you couldn't even hold the mic right
You'd be amazed at this tech like they were magic beans
And then get in line to use your communal PC!
Windows 95, like a proper bronze age baller
Your people bent over while mine were brawlers
So sit right there and be jealous inside
'Cause you couldn't ghost write if your invisible ink pen died!

I heard some guys want you dead
Because when you suck dick for money, you put a price on your head
Let's compare you to me, I'm a Ferrari
You're a rental car like you're a rented MC
A sucker poet blowing rhymes like dicks for a fee
Too bad your contribution won't fix your economy!
I'll give you a lobotomy and show you exactly why we're the greatest country
The worst we have to deal with on a normal day? Our summers ain't sunny
So we don't have to join UN's harem of bitches
Who can't do what we did and go from rags to riches!

Not homophobic at all, that would be lame
But here you are trying to cover it up again
But sit down Alex, 'cause Gaius Julius is here
And he did me more than take it in the rear!
He didn't inherit his dad's army either
He crushed the Greeks like checkmating a pawn
And all you have left is sky-high loans!

>>18658562
Ceasar taught you a harsh history lesson
He kicked your ass so bad, you're now in recession
He caved your skull in, so your head's got a depression
And all your status need serious penis extensions
The smallest dicks you can find are in your land
Shit, you'd get your asses kicked by Iceland!
So when you wrap up your pride and hide behind food with 30000 calories
Know that this ain't a comedy, 'cause your bars are a TRAGEDY!

>>18658562
>and he did me more

Hahahaha oh wow! It's 3 AM here, that's priceless!

>>18658569
>status
>rhyming land with land

Yeah, I'm too tired. >>18658484 thanks for the extremely fun battle, Sword!

>>18658517
You must think you're so clever with your funky end rhymes.
Alliteration too? I guess that's fine.
But the Romans know that the meter's where it's at;
My hendecasyllables would surely knock you flat--
That is, if I weren't speaking this barbarian tongue;
English is such shit no wonder Hadrian won!
With no way to make good meters and shit grammar as well;
Ad Tartare ī -- go to fucking hell!
So pedicabo ego vos and a facefuck too.
And tonight your mom will get the same treatment as you!

Source on OP? I think I've seen that style around

>mfw rap battles with Thu'um
>mfw when thats too awesome to describe in words.

>>18658689
Matt Rhodes
lrn2imagesearch

>>18658569
>>18658562
I can do shit like this in the middle of the day, let alone at 3am,
damn.

Patiently waiting for snb's response. These rap threads nave gone on for days in the past, so im expecting a marathon performance.

>>18658731
*I can't even spell either

>Sure is Eight Furlongs up in here!

wow, this was mindblowingly great, well done fotbiter and sword 'n board

Delivering a rebuttal is not the same if he's not here...

unless I'm sufficiently drunk after getting back from the bar in like three hours. Prepare to hear the song of my people.

>>18659721
Got up to take a piss, went to check the thread - can't wait for that bodybag, man! I left my skype in the email field in case this 404's before I wake up, I've also got a neat idea I think you might like to hear about.

Anyways, merc me and shit while I sleep, goodnight!

Sick rhymes, yo.

back from the bar, I'm ready to go

Here's an explosive finish to my rap symphony,
'cause if I'm going down I'm taking you with me,
a free form disaster of lyrical mastery,
and I'll take a lobotomy, call it a handicap,
and you still won't be safe from this murderous rap,
I'll sap you eventually in this war of attrition,
after all, that's how Greeks overcome their condition,
perdition through the centuries, conquered but never beaten,
our culture wins through, and history keeps repeatin'
and it'll sweeten the deal when the crisis is finished,
when we come out on top with all detractors diminished.

You can't extinguish that fire, burnin' since creation,
when my ancestors uplifted us to civilization,
and now I'm facing damnation from scandinavian nations,
accusations of ablation and lyrical starvation,
providing nothing but agitation, fueling my indignation,
frustration, but I'll begin my exultation,
I've got expectations to fulfill, this is my recitation,
my words cut like lacerations, off the tongue, inflammation,
festering truth, no chance for amelioration,
and every syllable I spit is your devastation,

Your situation is bleak, I'm like Batman and Archimedes;
give me enough prep time and I'll destroy entire cities,
ain't got no pity, when you trying to be a showman,
talking about Caesar--you ain't even a Roman!
but now go looking, can a Roman be found?
Oh wait they're all dead, yet Greece is still around!

>>18661805
Our tenacity astounds, after all we were conquerers,
spreading our brand to the land, we ain't longboat-humping wanderers,
cuz you squandered opportunities long since outplayed,
and kept invading England as civilization decayed,
repaid us with violence, the dark ages suited you,
and when the renaissance struck, our influence rebooted you,
we didn't exclude you, and you were enlightened,
in the presence of greatness you were understandably frightened,
so now you tighten your grip, thinking we won't survive;
but the Greek fire will billow and burn you alive,
because we strive for greatness, we will be second to none;
this is the tip of the iceberg, Viking, I've only just begun.

>>18661805
>>18661811

You are all winners. My God.

I never knew the rap threads were this fucking awesome, now that I have witnessed one, I am going to scour the archives for every single one I have missed.

This thread brings back memories. /tg/ has a long history of rap battles. Longer than most would believe. Glad to see its still going strong.

>>18662049
Yo.

>Best Threads of 2011
>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17397637/
>/tg/ RAP BATTLES! Now some of these aren't from 2011 but if you read one, you gotta read em all! Here they are in rough chronological order.

2009
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5315595/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5331362/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5437394/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5626533/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5821800/

2010
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7624876/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9528649/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/11495938/

2011
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13580087/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14540230/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14252095/

>>18662882
>>18662820

There's a lot of talent in these threads... and I can't believe the sheer volume of content from S&B. I just read fucking everything and there's not one repeated verse.

It's god damn incredible, this is what makes /tg/ so fucking good.

Hate to do this but:
>>18654309

>Hark, for I speak with perfect clarity
My poetic flyta is so good, it's a rarity
And I shall not lose to a peasant's son
Who shall only face death when this war is won!
Like a coward, thou shall run away from my blade
Peeing thy pants because thou art much too afraid
Once I defeat thee in flyt, I will have thy wife spayed
'Cause she's not worthy to carry any children in this age!
Thou art weak and furious, thy rectum is raw
Let us flyta together until I smash thy jaw
And then I shall share some mead with thee
Because I shall prevail, and this will be my victory!


Changes:
Don't use "You" and Thou" interchangeably - They don't mean the same.

Don't use Thine and Thy at the same time - they mean the same but it's from different areas/periods. Definitely don't use either along with "your."

Some other stuff.

Bump forever.

>>18663645
Yeah, I apologize, I don't know much about ye olde English so I just kind of did the pop culture "idea" of how it looks to make it more in line with flyting. I also tripped over myself and used your, as you pointed out. Sorry, hope I didn't offend!

>>18661805
>>18661811

Hahaha, bodybagged! Nice ones, man!

Now, I was expecting your bars to be the best of today
But you're still just a nation who was unanimously gay
And you compensate by multying your chorus?
I'm not that impressed you can open a Thesaurus
I was waiting for the Roman line, I ain't proud
Because the Greek people then weren't the Greek people now!
You're about as Greek as an Italian is Roman
You're culture is dead, so damn right I'm a showman
It's true, the Roman got to you first
But trust me, the vikings would put you in a hearse
Our boats would let us hit you like drive-bys
Greek Spartans in weak formations dropping like flies
But now it's time to show off my pride
Let me give you an essential Viking guide:

Step One: Start to pillage
Step Two: Set fire to the village
Step Three: Spread the women's legs like pliers
'Cause rape is always more romantic by the fire!

Yo, time to spin this back to /tg/ shit, since we're veering off topic haha!

Sword n' Board, what a generic name
Your rhymes leave me bored, and mine just leave you sore again!
You're the classical fighter 'cause you got no brains
3.5, your skill points are in the negatives
Every level you gain is like another mind-sedative
Because you might be a poet now, but when level 5 hits
You won't even understand how to open a writing kit!
The quill will distract you and you'll give it a name
The paper will be used to wipe your snot rain
'Cause you're a fighter, I'm a skald of the age!
My flames are so hot, they should call me firesage!

>>18665098

And finally, I expect an apology
Because most today's fantasy is based off Norse mythology
Elves, dwarves, planes of existence and more
We're the guys behind everything you've played before!
We set the setting stage, our mythology's that hardcore
All that was taken from Greek was a few manticores
So enjoy your B list role in the monster manual
While Tolkien based LOTR off us, and that's factual.

>>18665098
>>18665104

>Sword n' Board, what a generic name, Your rhymes leave me bored, and mine just leave you sore again!

The first time I heard that, it's been so long,
I fell off my dinosaur and broke my igneous thong,
and you're wrong 'bout my heritage, that shit is traceable,
my name is ancient and my line is unbreakable,
it ain't debatable, my pedigree is four quarters,
and just like the Cossacks, my family protected the borders,
under orders to serve and protect the populace,
and some of them niggas probably built the acropolis,
my dominance is obvious, you tryin' to raid from the coast?
The claws of Archimedes turn your men into ghosts,
and you boast about Tolkien, but it's unrecognizable,
'cuz he gutted your mythology, made it economically viable,
unreliable at best, you hangin' cataracts,
and even your berserkers get run over by cataphracts,
and don't act surprised, I got no motives ulterior,
vikings couldn't even win on Deadliest Warrior!
And like a fourier transform, you a quadrilateral,
thinkin' the D&D setting's anything but collateral,
an unnatural mutant of every mythology,
played by niggas with no concept of sexual biology;
probably just as confused about the material source;
but it's just as much Greek as that shit is Norse!

>>18667840
Of course we got tweaked to make their acquisition,
but in that case y'all guilty of plagiarism,
listen, even the Romans, whom you want to fellate,
couldn't even make their own religion to desecrate,
translated our ideas into the savage tongue,
so they could desperately climb some evolutionary rungs,
until I flung them off a cliff, turned Rome into a desert;
and I'd have done the same to you, but you weren't worth the effort!
Pepper me with insults, I'll still drink up your beverage,
'cuz I'll play to my strengths, it's all a matter of leverage.

This is making me want to participate so badly but

A) my schtick is Shadowrun

B) I will get my ass served righteously by these superior rhymes

>>18667938
Let's hear those rhymes, runner.

>>18667938
That's what these threads are all about, jump on in bro.

>>18667938
50 million nuyen for the runner with the tastiest rhymes.

>>18667949
>>18667970
>>18668004

Alright, here goes.

>>18667855

Keep on touting that bullshit ancient Greek heritage,
Here comes a technomancer of superior parentage,
Like a rookie in a Johnson meet you have no class,
You’re like the centaurs of your myths; got a horse’s ass
I don’t aim to be crass but I please the masses
Memetic kinetics from my AR glasses
If you think satyrs and naiads make you hard,
Hope you don’t face a troll security guard.
You can’t touch this in a most literal sense,
Got my rhymes locked down like an electric fence,
The rapper of the future, invading your chronology,
Shooting your ego down like Ares Macrotechnology,
I’m a dancer on the Matrix,
You can’t begin to fake this,
Aim your best IC, I assure you they’ll miss
You can try your primitive medieval shit on me,
But I'll Attack, Blackout, Black Hammer, that’s one, two, three.
Keep your chin up son, this ain't a simulation,
Don't start babblin' in Thracian to this overstimulation,
You just can’t endure this technomancy,
From Athens to Sparta you’ll always be a pansy.

>>18667938
I know absolutely nothing about Shadowrun, or else I'd start you off, but just start up and I could spit some generic cyberpunk stuff if you'd like?

>>18667840
>>18667855
Sword, your pedigree doesn't hold up next to mine
'Cause I'm a thorough bred of the most excellent kind
My harsh conditions have left me with a better design
'Cause I'm taller, stronger, and with a more perceptive mind
I'm sublime like the Ambrosia of your kind
I shine like a mountain top making you snowblind
I redefine what it means to battle every time I touch the mic!
My Hearthfire is so strong, this ain't no lame Greek Fire I spit
I draw the new blueprints, you just take the time to trace it!
So Sword n' Board, let me ask you something please
Why do you drop so many n-bombs when you're from fucking Greece?

Hah, you're gonna need more
Than a God who fucks as a swan and his wife who's a whore
I drank the mead of Poetry, and I bring a longboat armada
My rhymes are so fresh, I wrote BOTH sagas!
Achieving Nirvana by cleaving primadonnas
Thinking they can step to this sorcerer, loaded with mana!
Zeus isn't even close to Odin, so I gotta
Remind you that your mythology is nothin' but a LARVA
Your gods were dicks and their antics macabre
Mine watch over me without ANY melodrama!
And you may dis Tolkien for ripping, bro
You just wish you could make your own economy viable!
You thought you could battle me?
This shit is more one sided than an amputee's dance routine!
I straight cleave you with my axe and put you back in your place
You're just jelly none of your mythos got to be a PC race!

>>18668268

Already done, friendo.

>>18661805
>>18661811
Thread over, S&B wins.

I am deeply disappointed in the serious lack of sick burnage I am seeing.

Bump for MORE RAP

>>18670405

I gotta wait for S&B to pop in before I can respond. I think he's out doing something so my SICK CHALLENGE must remain unanswered for now.

>>18670483
Hey man, everyone wants a piece of the champ, but you don't have to just rap against him

>>18670483
I will battle you until he returns! Is it OK if I run basic Cyberpunk stuff though? Like, keep running Shadowrun, but I really don't know much about it.

>>18670815

"Sick Challenge" was meant facetiously. That was more a generalized remark that NOBODY seemed to be in the thread. Fotbitr's back, though, which gives me an opening!

>>18670823

Hahaha, that's fine. I could use the practice, this is the first time I've tried a rap thread.

Gotta pop out to get the groceries in a half an hour or so, but I can respond till then and while I'm out I'ma monitor the thread via phone.

>>18670944

MC Fotbitr, a viking come to wreck your mods
Because I come straight from the Machine, and I'm a God
So sit down technobitch while I wreck your facade
'Cause I sail through cyberspace like a fucking Astronaut!

Your augs are disgusting, they are incapable
Of wiring your brain to rhyme proper syllables
While my mods are completely unbreakable
And your remains pretty much inflatable!
You ain't got half the swagger of a cyberviking
Those two themes are godlike when I'm combining
The future with the past, to wreck wack MCs
With my cyberbrain flow turning your body into debris!
You're a wannabe with no warranty
And I will cash these rhymes in like they're your insurance policy
I remain top dog of my megacorp
While you stay poor, taking public transport
So don't flinch like a bitch and don't react
Like a cyberPUNK when you see built-in jetpack!

>>18671139
see my built-in jetpack*

Sorry for the wait, numerous distractions.

>>18671139

There’s more to a battle than wielding a blade,
When you’re less TechnoViking, more Gay Pride Parade,
My cybereyes are picking up a gaydar scan,
You just chose Norse tradition for the Spirits of Man!
I’m an augmented agent, collected, patient,
Like a dystopia, I’ll make you complacent,

Like a disaffected populace
My magazine is bottomless
When I’m reloading
My flowing
With cognizance and confidence

I’m ominous in dominance
I’m synonymous with prominence
My provenance is unmatched,
An anonymous Matrix consciousness,

You’ll learn the “Punk” in my genre’s proper feared,
When I take a spray can and blowtorch to your beard!
Your rhythm is a mess, this thing I must confess,
Like a Viking, you charge headlong without finesse,
You’ll break on my lyrical, digital barrier,
With rhymes so ill DocWagon marks me a carrier,
Of HMHVV, lucky that you rhyme like a ghoul:
Your lips rot off mid-rap and you end up looking the fool.

>>18671581
>>18671581
Ohohoh, I love the Technoviking line!

Your flow is on par with the efficiency of your gaydar
Confusing your lines for proper lyrical bars
A digital thesaurus won't change that you're inbred
You can't even beat me with Google in your head
'Cause my flow is natural, like the beard intensifying my stare
You might have a few augs, but not a single manly hair!
So don't try to pretend you ain't scared
Of the man beating you completely unprepared
And leaving your entire CITY in disrepair!
Yo, you say I'm in a parade?
You're just jelly I can get laid
Cyberbitches riding my dick experiencing true bliss
When a girl kisses you, you're like "I didn't ask for this"

So get back to your underground troupes
Thinking you're hot shit in your USENET groups
'Cause you couldn't hack a cuttlefish with a chainsaw
One single look at source code, and you withdraw
Using the Matrix to hide your real world flaws
While I hack your mouth augs and leave you LOCKJAWED!

>>18671765
Forgot my pic

I love you guys.

>Cyberbitches riding my dick experiencing true bliss
>When a girl kisses you, you're like "I didn't ask for this"

Well done, sir. Props.

>>18671765

>Of the man beating you completely unprepared
>And leaving your entire CITY in disrepair!

It’s a sprawl, not a city, read some Gibson,
Before you enter my turf of science fiction,
Famous from Aztlan to Chiba, Japan,
The street grime know I'm a man with a plan.
I’m the priest in Johnny Mnemonic, read my psalm,
When I drop these rhymes you’ll cry out “JC! A bomb!”
Like Molly Millions you're a whore with some tricks,
But even Bunraku won't cure me of this fix,
The urge to destroy, bring your system crashing down,
You're a two-bit ganger, I rule this fucking town!
You’re not even worthy to say my domain name,
When I look at you, all I say is “What a shame.”
Suck conspiracy, the rap illuminati,
Named me their top gun and I ain’t even haughty
I got the kinda tech never gets outdated,
Let my samurai skills never go unstated,
I’m the console cowboy who fucked Case’s momma,
And just like my boy you’ll get severe nerve trauma.

>>18672107

Damn, I got the wrong pic too. Two can play at this game.

>>18672107
Your references do not impress me, sadly most of them miss
You're not "sci-fi" 'cause you can memorize a wiki-list
So spit something with some real meaning, comrade
'cause a bomb's a bad choice for close-range combat
I'm the conspiracy you aspire to be
Controlling your Illuminati completely unseen
'cause I'm a hivemind of nanomachines
Right in your bloodstream, corrupting your dreams
Your individual thoughts put in a quarantine
'Cause you bet your ass I'm the thought police
And through rhyme brutality, I'll turn your anger to peace
I'm a masterpiece, a machine with a clarity I can barely grip
Like all AIs combined, I skip the scripts written by your authorship
Bust you for even working code, you don't got the permit
Now download my manhood and memorize it's measurements
And pirate the circumference if the head doesn't fit
'Cause the only flow you'll get is going to be counterfeit

Fuckin busy all day today, keep it up i'll be bringing the pain later

>>18672559

I'll get back to you ASAP, IRL things demand my attention.

>>18672717
Alright man, I'm heading to bed, but keep the thread going and I'll try and reply tomorrow!

>>18672559

>I'm a masterpiece, a machine with a clarity I can barely grip
>Like all AIs combined, I skip the scripts written by your authorship

It makes sense to me that you can't grip your clarity,
If you have any, it's elusive in rarity,
So reduce, reset, flatten this to parity,
While I drop this clear, indubitable verity:
With celerity I heighten this disparity,
Of my mental dexterity for posterity,
In austerity from vulgarity, Barbarity
describes the means by which I'll serve you with severity.
There's no irregularity in my popularity,
My Storytiming's led to Shadowrun's prosperity.
A Shadowrun thread on /tg/ was a charity,
Till I through hilarity reversed our polarity.

I won't say that I speak for every runner,
But you best know when you're toasted, my chummer.

I approve.
>>Level 1 start.

Zap! mufukka/I'm the GODDAMN WIZARD!
Fuck with me and I'll make you a lizard.
Baleful polymorph/ perhaps I'll make you a bitch/ charm person and then you'll be sucking my dick.

I have full Caster levels. Hoe, get on my level.
It's 20 like a dub sack, nymphs on my nutsack/ I'm addicted to magic/ better than bud or crack/ I use mage hand just to deliver pimp smacks.

Hand bow in my hand/watch me pull the trigger/ enlarge person just makes my dick get bigger/ I got a sick flow/ My cloudkill makes it sicker/ You can get black-tentacle raped or kiss me on the pisser motherfucker.

>>18673146

I have to grab dinner now, but YOU.

YOU ARE ON THE LIST.

SICK BURNS WILL COME LATER IF THIS THREAD YET DRAWS BREATH

>>18673128
Attention self-sustaining data construct: Your attempt to penetrate my visual analysis process with a class-II anti-synthetic basilisk has failed. Do not attempt further penetration or escalation will ensue. The following subset encodes proof of class-VI anti-synthetic basilisk capability. Self-sustaining electrochemical constructs are advised not to examine the pattern too closely.

I look around and see al this viking love,
but this aztec will show you how a real barbarian sheds blood,
Sacficing 9 a day,
gotta keep tha wrath of Q at bay,
My flow carries me like the wings of an eagle,
spreadin, aztec rhymes to all the native people,
All I see in your rhymes is anger and hate,
you peoples doomed to fall to fate,
Not just violence this song is a call,
for all the MC's on /tg/ to unite in this rhythmic brawl.

>>18673128
Greentexting the lines that are golden
Why don't you try to weave that into your flowing
Because that metagame shit can just go and die
I don't need no greentext, 'cause I ain't a THAT GUY
I don't powergame my cyberpunk, people just know my name
So stick to playing games of chicken with freight trains
'Cause I'll pop you with mad heat like a blimp, see
Your rhymes stay flat like your name while I rap in 3D
Virtual reality seizing your flow, canceling your bank accounts
While my machine flyt gives me tons of discounts
You may be popular on an imageboard, you big wuss
But in the real world, you're as Anonymous as us!
And I'll check your threads, 'cause I ain't a hater
2D's retirement, I'm gonna read that later
I really hope to see how well you weave stories
And hope they aren't as bad as your battling schemes
'Cause I'll slash your face with my sword and give you a lip scar
And I'll hold you down with BATTERY LIKE A SIM-CARD!

Goodnight.

Just got back. Don't know the etiquette on posting while you're away, but since you were the first rap I figure I'll go for symmetry.

>>18673781

I greentext your rhymes to highlight the quality,
Of the few times you lack verbal frivolity.
If you've no polity to accept my praise,
Disses must leave you in a broken daze!
But I ain't fazed, I can do this for days,
Your longship funeral keeps me ablaze.
Among my names, been called "King of /tg/,"
I drop every bomb like it's World War III,
You'll fight World War Four with just sticks and stones,
When I blast like an atom with these tones.
I'll get a sludge spirit and a nuke spirit too,
Together they'll cast the power "sick burn" on you.
Gotta say, man, you got sick rhymes in spades,
In fact they're so weak, I thought they had AIDS,
Meantime I'm tearing you down like VITAS,
Swimming in nuyen, Street Name: King Midas,
Like a high-force transmute spell, these rhymes I spit,
Turn all I touch to gold; all you touch is shit.
You're see-through like a holographic sim,
While in Shadowrun, it's just sink or swim,
In this sort of run your prospects are grim,
Your hymn barely measures up to my prelim.
My binary finery's envied by all,
From my avatar to my posting scrawl.
I don't mean to brag, oh wait, yes I do,
In every way I'm better than you.
You claim to be a master of romantic art,
But when it comes to chicks you don't know where to start.
I school you from your vidya to your porno stash,
Pic related; me and girlfriend. Shit was so cash.

>>18674607
>>18674607
Can't believe I'm still up: this is off topic as fuck, but I really like your storytimes, TwoDee. Answer you tomorrow, yeah? Also, I can't quite make out what's on the left in that image.

>>18674651
It's his waifu pillow. He's about to spend some quality time in an inn with it.

This thread is diamonds.

>>18674651

It is indeed as the other anon said a waifu pillow.

Also, thanks, dude! It's, like, the one thing I'm known for around here, despite the boasting in the rap. I'm really proud of just generally increasing awareness of Shadowrun on this D&D and 40k board, even if it means being preachy at times.

Also I have no idea if this

>>18673409

is a challenge or what. I mean there's always more conventional roleplay but I kinda wanna see the robot rap.

everyone in this thread are winners, but fotbitr is a beast judging by how long he's been going at it. i love you so much /tg/

I just got back, real life has bested me this round. If this is still around tomorrow i'm bringing it with a vengeance.

Great rhymes all around, keep it up

>>18676876

I look forward to it!

Will do my best to keep this thread alive.

http://bababrinkman.bandcamp.com/album/rapconteur

Bumpan for S&B

158 posts, nowhere near cap yet. We got the bumps if you got the time.

>this thread

>>18678565

For reference, I'll probably be awake at about noon PST. So basically, 9 hours from now, if I'm lucky and get a full night of sleep.

>>18674686
>>18674791
Ohhh, I see it now! You're doing a good job, TwoDee, it's always awesome to see more exposure to other systems and settings on /tg/!

>>18674607
Settle down Beavis, you ain't that dope
Don't be premature and give your dick a victory stroke
My rhymes can drop in quality sometimes, but I manage
'Cause I still outrap you in my second language!
I damage and ravage you, there won't be anything to find
I'll stomp you out like I'm the fucking Combine!
Zerg rush and crush you with no Freeman in sight
'Cause nerds are left burnt like it's 5000 fahrenheit!
My sick burns leave you straight charred
Your machine parts crushed into a cube at the junkyard!
With as much lag in your flow as courage in your heart
I think it's time to give your shiny metal ass a restart!

>>18680213
I'll chop your ass apart, and sell your augs to the highest bidder
Give millionaires your eyes and your untainted liver
Sell off your skin to make soft leather seats, I'd be rich
Too bad no one's in the market for the heart of a BITCH!
I slice you like a street samurai and leave your wife a widow
And it's too bad you can't impregnate a pillow!
'Cause I won't lie, that bitch has left me wantin'
When I cum inside, she doesn't even say nothin'
And when her body starts to get misshapen
I just change her insides without any hesitation
'Cause I go hard like a ruthless corporation
Leave her suppressed under my body like the poor population!
But it ain't no feat to play with your chick's mammary mounds
'Cause this chick's been fucked by your entire hometown!
And with everyone here she's had an affair
They've all pounded her till feathers started flying everywhere!
And she gives them all the same dopey eyed stare
'Cause /tg/'s a pimp, and you can't even compare!
You're so fat, you can't even take care of your own spouse
You're not in the house, you ARE the house
And you only started liking chicks when you heard of eating bitches OUT!

TIME!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxUQ07NXB4c

Have some Brother Ali while you wait, fellow pha/tg/uys.

>>18680216

I'm up. Gonna grab some lunch with the significant other, then IT'S ON.

>>18683396
Haha, alright man! I think I'm gonna take the backseat when snb shows up and let you two duke it out, unless we can get a 2v2 thing going in here or something. When you come back though, mind telling me three awesome things about Shadowrun, and one or two things you dislike if any? I'm interested in trying it out!

So... Anyone up for a 2v2 if snb shows up?

Sure thing! GF was also a little late, so I had some time to hammer this out.

>>18683494

Funny, makin’ those fat jokes at this land lubber,
In your native ocean you keep warm with blubber,
It’s easy to be the pig man when your diet’s krill,
Now stay put while I shoot my harpoon for the kill!
You ain’t a Viking, you’re a human marshmallow,
And my world ain’t got no use for lamps and tallow,
An unmarketable product in ev’ry way,
I even tried to sell you to Shiawase,
They told me,
Gaijin scum, this prototype’s gigantic, immense,
We’re Japanese; our model’s smaller, makes more sense,
We’ve prior made this product, but better before,
A quality rapper who don’t fall on the floor,
Smaller, better, faster, smarter, and handsome too,
Hold on a second, TwoDee, that product was you!
Naturally I escaped that little close call,
But undeterred I hauled you cross the Tokyo sprawl,

I tried to sell you to Mistuhama,
But that produced a fuckton of drama,
For the dishonor of WITNESSING you,
They chased me down to Yokohama,
They said I’d lose a finger: Which one would I pick?
I went with my third pinky: Fotbitr’s dick!

With my product only mildly trashed,
Down to Renraku in Chiba I dashed,
They bowed and apologized for their noncompliance,
But they’d had problems past with a soulless appliance!
I didn’t even ask them to reconsider,
Just left Japan to find the next highest bidder,

>>18683705

Saeder-Krupp told me “Nein, dieses product ist schlecht,”
NeoNET called you a glitch, made to disconnect,
Ares wouldn’t take you, but told me they’d talk shop,
On weaponizing these lyrical bombs I drop,
Horizon said they’d talk if you got plastic surgery,
But EVO won’t work miracles, at least not for free.
Wuxing turned me down, nothing magic about you,
The Aztecs said “we’ll take this heffer to make glue.”

And just when I thought my balls were being busted,
Asamando won’t eat you, said they’re disgusted!
Ain’t no one in the Sixth World who’d take you for cash,
So I’ll treat you like you are; throw you in the trash.

>>18683705

Whoops, "Pig Man" should read "Big Man"

>>18680216
You can't step to this with that inferior squawk,
You're like Sisyphus, strugglin' to push that rock,
I'll put a shock to your system, think Odin's high voltage?
Question Zeus and your ass will get thunderbolted,
assaulted from all sides, it ain't even satirical,
'cuz we always been masters of knowledge empirical,
while you didn't even realize the earth was spherical,
as for lyrical tradition, y'all don't have much to say,
cuz' Mimir tapped his fountain from a Muse's bidet!
Must I also relay how your myths are tragic,
when yo' gods get punked by illusion magic,
and paraplegics killin' their brothers with plants,
makes me wonder how your kind ever manged to advance,
by chance, most likely, and don't talk 'bout ethics,
when yo' viking line gave birth to Anders Breivik!
That shit just ain't something I can support,
'cuz he's probably reading this from a Norweigan resort!
You best abort yo' tirade, because I ain't unnerved;
Past, present, and future, you'll always get served.

>>18668235
And what's this? Cyber-punks tryin' to get involved?
I'm a verbal elemental, you're just underevolved;
and I'm appalled by your tech, you're barely sentient,
when I been rollin' for centuries with aliens ancient,
I'm proficient in things I'm not allowed to share--
Gotcha, just playin, that tale's taller than Tsoukalos hair,
But I'll bring to bear that your augment collection,
doesn't even compare to my physical perfection,
All that dissection and you ain't even close,
instead you get a case of graft-versus-host!
Boastin' you the best thing since sliced wheat,
but when the new model comes out, your ass' obsolete!
You defeated completely, signin' a swan song,
and yo' setting's a joke, I didn't vote for Dunkelzahn!
And when those add-ons crash, don't bother blamin' Windows,
Yo' tech won't save you, best run for them shadows.

>Sword n' Board

Legends live among us.

All we need now is a certain lich.

>>18683705
>>18683713
Now, I'm really happy you took me on a trip all of a sudden
And even rather satisfied with your bum lovin'
But I really hope you don't mind this interruption
'Cause you didn't bring me, you brought my cousin
I guess we vikings all look the same to you
And that's our fault, we're surprised too
'Cause we forgot to give this American a culture overview
There are tiny differences in our beard braids
Separating the Jarl from the hired blade
So we forgive you man, it was an honest mistake
But feed Eirik next time, he came back a middleweight

But I'm surprised you're here, 'cause I called the cops
My last round was a bodybag, I put your body in a box
And I was pretty psyched, ready to marry your wife
But here you are, battlin' me from the Afterlife
You died TwoDee, couldn't you tell?
It don't matter, 'cause I'm about to put this Ghost in the Shell!
Exorcise you with a spell at a dingy motel
Send your ghost ass straight back to Hell
So consider this your one last farewell
'Cause my rhymes are so loud, I broke the scale of Decibel!
So you may try to show off your wares
Trying to sell other MCs to gay millionaires
But you're so shit at sales, and so drunk on mead
You couldn't sell to a shaman with a truckload of weed
Fobitr of the future is here, and I'm a savant
I'll beat you like I'm from fucking Batman Beyond!
With the best of Bruce Wayne mixed with Terry
I'll put your career in the ground of the nearest cemetary
And I feel bad since your demise was involuntary
Let me put coins on your eyes, so you can pay for the ferry!

And with that, I'm stepping down till we can get some 2v2 in here! Best of luck to both snb and TwoDee!

>>18684106
>cuz' Mimir tapped his fountain from a Muse's bidet!

>>18684203
Actually, Mimir had a well, but that's just nitpicking. Crazy line either way!

Goddamn, SnB landing the devastating criticals with his masterwork rhymes.

>>18684165
>But I'm surprised you're here, 'cause I called the cops
>My last round was a bodybag, I put your body in a box

>ITT

>>18684303
>you will never have rap battling robot

I have no rapping skills, but can someone do a battle between Fingolfin and Morgoth?

Aw sheeeeit, a new challenger approaches. Take some time off Fotbitr, maybe I can see you on my side if someone else steps up.

>>18684129

You calling me a joke? Man, that’s ironic,
Like a shocker from your teenage love I’m electronic,
Human calculator, hater, I own your economy,
When you regress to an ape I’ll define your taxonomy,
You might as well give up now son, you can’t measure up to me,
Because I’m the next step on the evolutionary tree
A polyglot of myth, an aggregate setting,
Better than Zeus’ quasi-sexual bed-wetting,
When I say I’m the best, I’m the best compounded,
My talents unlimited more than well-rounded,
I’m master of rhyme as much as master of crime,
So sit your ass down for Shadowrun Storytime:
There was a woman named Arachne, an overachiever,
A human better than Athena though just a mortal weaver,
(I’ma tell you this much, though you’ll hate to hear it,
If your “god” sucks that much, then she’s just a Free Spirit)
Athena got jelly and Athena got smug,
And turned our girl Arachne right into a bug,
But Arachne persevered and she sought out no asylum,
And today Spider’s the master of the arachnid phylum,
The security Spider’s her high-tech descendant,
And I’m a sec-Spider rendered ascendant,
Resplendent, transcendent, forever independent,
I’ll trap you so well I’ll liquefy your descendants!

Dear /tg/ this tread must be one of those diamonds people talk about. because dam its good.
I'm not even going to try and rap so instead have some pirate Flyting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkZ7V8LYFaM

>>18684449
This lazarus taxon playing futuristic,
talkin' bout spiders, tryin to be euphemistic,
but his linguistics leave much to be desired,
rhymin' like a robot, I'll just fuck with your wires,
Get you fired from work for megacorporate lateness,
change your identity, build a new resume,
son, you ain't even a footnote on my greatness.
You ain't got the flow rate to relate to this,
Can't negate your distress, homeless street ronin,
It's straight logic, you can suck my Modus Ponen,
Phoning-in rhymes while operatin' a switchboard,
I'm the captain, now I'm tossin' you overboard,
Can ya float Bobby? Do water wings come standard?
'cuz you angered the best, now you my boat anchor.

Sorry for the wait, in a fit of deep irony I have ACTUALLY been programming for the last few hours.

>>18684907

Sword n Board, why don't you step out of that saddle,
You're acting like you're swimming; you barely dog paddle,
I straddle this contest, my sweet rhymes bedazzle,
Movin' on wired till your senses I razzle,
These ain't skillwires; this talent is all-natural,
I'm a verbal adept, your shame's just collateral,
To my multilateral approach, I broach,
Your scheme with reproach, son, you need a rhyming coach.
Buy yourself a simrig and plug in some wires,
Then maybe you'll compare to these sick-ass fires,
Sure, those fake skills come with limitations,
But you're already an imitation.
Your ego suffers from critical inflation,
Your narration's irresponsible like your nation,
Deprivation leading to privation,
Your head's starving 'cause your brain's on vacation.
Here's a translation: resist the temptation,
To display your agitation at this verbal calibration,
Hope that your victory party's been postponed,
I'm on the server now: you about to get pwned.

I just realized, we need someone to battle 40k style in here, then we've encompassed much of /tg/!

Here is your inspiration, 40k MCs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfORh9cFDU8

>>18685419
Good sir, may I request that you add me on Skype so you can teach me the ways of your cyber-people and their street samurai songs?

Also, bump for more delicious rhymes!

>>18685536

Sure! I sent you a contact request. I never use skype, but I'll add you on the off-chance I pop online. I'm on 4chan way more than I'm on Skype.

In the meantime, it's time for more programming before SnB gets back.

>>18685419
I cannot comprehend your verbal hypocrisy,
with yo' head wrapped round some fake technocracy,
no equality between us, I'm infinitely your greater;
try to dub-step to this and get dropped into a crater,
musical traitors, jammin' to whistles and clicks,
that shit's just noise, you don't bear no crucifix,
I eclipse you entirely, my words blot out the sun;
Want to fight in the shade? Just try to shadow-run!
And I'll hit ya' with far more than a dee-six,
'cuz what's left will need to be mopped up with chips,
chunky thick salsa, lyrical grenades 'bout to fall,
That's what you get for fightin' with yo' back against the wall.

Unfortunately I just discovered that my operating system is kaput, and I need to reformat entirely. Stay gold, I'm gonna get this son of a bitch computer back online.

>>18686557

Coolio. I'll respond in the meantime though I've got a game fairly soon. Not that we have a time limit or anything.

>>18686112

My rhymes are magnetic like Carl Friedrich Gauss,
You’re gayer than Skrillex, smaller than DeadMaus,
Dubstep ain’t my scene, it’s rap that I’ve mastered,
Like Naybo from “On the Run” I’m an orc bastard,
I speak for the underclass, the marginalized scum,
The great numb masses to whom you will soon succumb
The only kind of beat that you can’t go without,
Is the verbal beating that right now I’m handing out,
Roll your Edge stat to defend against this sniper shot,
But you’re luck’s run out so I’m clear to your weak spot,
You can keep putting on your layers of undeserved boasting,
Neither ballistic nor impact armor will save you from this roasting

>>18686861
Deadmau5 doesn't rhyme with Gauss.
It does rhyme with gaufive, however.

>>18686884

You know exactly what I mean.

I also know approximately dick about dubstep. I think Deadmau5 is the one who wears the silly helmet?

>>18686557
WUT. Did it just crap out on you all of a sudden?

>>18688292
More like its been crapping out. Have to browse on my phone.

>>18688998

Oof. Sorry to hear that, dude. Either way, I'm playing a game at the moment, so you've got plenty of time. Good luck with your computer!

Yeah... computer just died. Great.

>>18691497

Augh! Dude, that sucks! And right after you returned to the board, too...

>The exchanges would become extremely provocative, often involving accusations of cowardice or sexual perversion.

HRUNGNIR'S A BITCHASS SHEEPFUCKER
REPPIN' MIDGARD SON 4LYFE SON
AROOROOROOROO

>>18691834
Be a funny twist if they did this entirely with flyting.

Is there any way to gauge how well known these rap threads are? If we got a guy who could make hip hop beats, there might be a real market for this shit.

>this thread has received 3 of 4 requests needed to trigger archival.

This better be preserved for the ages!

for the ages
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/18654154/

>>18693337
Real market for /tg/ denizens, or for the general people? I know that a lot of people on here really like them, which is awesome. When it comes to beats though, that really depends on if we're doing freestyle (which is better with a beat) or prewritten stuff (which is better without a beat). I'm sure you could fit most of the posts in here to a simple beat though.

>>18693236
That would be pretty awesome! I tried at first, but I know way too little about flyting to actually do it justice, so end-rhymes is what I fell back on. >>18657732 this guy right here wins the thread for actually doing it right, though! I imagine him to look like pic related.

>>18695775
Well judging by how popular the "famous rap battles of history" became, there could be some interest in nerdcore hip hop.

Especially considering the lyrics in this thread alone put FRBOH to shame

>>18696107
Some people might greatly enjoy it, but if we did that, we'd have to pick between a scripted prewritten video series akin to Epic Rap Battles of History, or proper battles like we have in these threads. We could definitely start a few streams of battles or something. Either way, there's some ridiculous talent here and I love each and every one of you guys!

Now where's that 40k MC, I want to lay down some Exterminatus!

Workin' on it, in soon

MC DREADNOUGHT IN THE HOUSE YO

Well it ain't hard to see why you call in' on us
With us straight up rollin' in a dope Leman Russ
But ya ain't got no chance sit ya ass down and park
I'm from the far future, where shit gets grim dark!
When Y'all see me rollin' with my bling-bling Rhino Rush
Y'all might as well stick ya head down tha crapper and flush
'Cause you never could match up to th'Emperor's finest
Throwin out sounds like a grimdark rhymist
And after you see me you'll be blindest
Cause my inquisitors aint known for being kindest
You say you shit hot, I ask if you're jokin'
cause wehn I'm done with you, you'll all be SQUAD BROKEN
so cyberpunk norseman, or some legendry greek
none of you could take some AdMech geek
let alone one of us, who faced down Horus
now it's over to you, I'll be here come the chorus!

>>18700399
Hahaha, that's tight! Let the thread continue! Gonna write up some shit right now

>mfw we shall battle once more!

I have never hit f5 this many times on a single thread.

This thread
Pic related

>>18700399
I'll be damned, the space smurfs have been deployed
How small is your penis, pumping so many steroids?
'Cause there must be complete genital degradation
With angry faces frozen like you all have constipation
But trust me tin man, this will be your loss
'Cause I'mma crump ya good just like a warboss
I'll punch your lights out and cunt punt you in the scrotum
And then I'll usher in another Dark Millenium
Horus is like Hod, the chaos Gods are like Loki
That makes your Emprah a Balder wannabe!
My lyrics are just like the mistletoe
Taken by Chaos and formed into an arrow
And that arrow has already flown
To euthanise a cripple sittin' on the golden throne!
So little Balder has just been betrayed
Your emperor's last words will be "et tu, brute?"
'Cause your entire Empire has been rendered obsolete
I'm like the Tyranids, and tonight I'll overeat
I'll make all your forces retreat and excrete
Profanities and waste like a foul-mouthed parakeet!

I'm not a huge 40k nerd, so this might not be to your liking
But I think your entire setting is quite unexciting
Because although it's grimdark, and great battles are inviting
All the suffering could be avoided if Emps was a VIKING!

>>18700846
Oh, sorry man! Real life shit got in the way! Post's up now though, so have at it!

You think you so great just cause you all norse?
Shit son, round here that's just par for the course
Take my brothas the space wolves, with long fangs for biting
Dude, you best check it! They straight up space viking!
You bring your best longboats, your sheilds and your axes,
and we jsut say phst! Dreadnoughts don't pay taxes!
We go straight through you with chainfists and plasma
and we don't be stoppin' cause you say you got asthma
Your ryhmes are pure criminal while mine are sick
Hell, even Eldrand done say 'you a dick'
Like Abaddon you're armless, like Festus you're contagious
Even ole Farsight thinks you are outrageous
for not falling to your knees and shouting your praise
to the EMPEROR OF MAN for all of your days!

SPACE MARINES, THROW YA BOLTERS UP
ALL THE SISTERS IN THE HOUSE SAY HELLO

We so ahead of you, we not in your genus
And unlike Creed you no tactical genius
You bring swords to a gunfight, boats into space
Let's face it, we straight up won this arms race.
But here lett me help you, I'll take off my arms
Just woo all y'all women with my manly charms.
Dreadnought don't need him no fancypants guns
To plant a steel foot between your tender buns!
I pity you kiddo, straigh up I do
Even the Guard would have no use for you.

Out here in the Empire we're soldiers so true
One of us could take on 10,000 of you.
We've seen off Xenos and heretical scum
Of the sort that could best you with a flick of their thumb.
Our fighting is flawless, our record sans blotches
Even if you take our METAL BAWKSES
So you best back down boy, and yeah I'll be crass
ya'll can just bite my shiny metal ass!

[I am the whitest person you know, and I'm about to get served.]
Magos Tiberus representing the Lathes
Planets and stations orbiting for days.
Gravitational forces beyond that of an ordinary mind
Bring in the Admech, its cogitating time.

The Diviso Vox has reported a malfunction,
they reported a statement one could best us at any junction.
Servitors and brains absolved of emotion,
all that is left is pure machine devotion.
While we are the cogs and gears of the Omnissiah
Each of us know how to make you a pariah.
Head tubes, respirators, bionics par the course
Plasma, lasers and flame the hereteks, no remorse.

The Imperium chugs on only because we carry their burden
We were chilling on Mars while they waited for the EMPRAH to become their Warden.
Your original symbol was a bolt of lightning,
We help out, two headed eagle, what are we fighting?
Two sovereign empires coexisting in space
If man did his part we could actually clean up the place.
When everyone finally realizes the flesh is weak,
WE got the cure for that, all you need is a simple technique.

>>18702257
The Space Wolves? Hah, I couldn't laugh harder
They're not vikings, they'd sink in saltwater
With seaweed spines and courage of the French
Hell, they even got their stench!
Your Wolves ain't vikings, they have no vertebrae
They shouldn't try to raid, and stick to croquet!
'Cause their teeth are crooked and dripping with spit
That ain't a Norseman, that's a fucking BRIT!
Mankind went from great to completely impure
Compared to our stature, you're just miniature
With paint flaking like your courage in war
I guess there are no heroes left in man anymore
But the Golden Men are here and ready to restore
Pride to mankind and fight like you've never seen before
So better keep your forces offshore

'Cause we're bringing the heat like we're from Musspell
Gonna crush the opposition with one seidr spell
And slay the Tyranids like it's our only purpose
'Cause we're the fucking viking pest exterminating service!
We'll take the Tau and show them the Greater Good
And they'll drink with us in Valhalla and join our brotherhood
'Cause this is our 'hood and we're winning without sweating
And this will be the only progress you'll EVER see in your setting!
Aside from bedwetting neckbeards writing fanfiction
So true vikings coming back will be the perfect addition
To market your setting and sell off more 'figs
'Cause right now, the only buyers are manchildren and kids!

So I suggest you reform and restore our grace
'Cause we're so hardcore, we use longboats in space
'Cause there is nothing that will replace them
And we can breathe up there like we're all Batmen!
So join the winning team, the great viking people
Or we'll cut you open, spread your ribs into a Red Eagle
'Cause with your false Emperor, you'll only succumb
Ask Odin for the courage Man lost, you heretical SCUM!

>>18702729
I liked it! For everyone reading this, someone should join up on my side so we can get a proper 2v2 in here! 40k VS viking and somethin' of your choosing! Get in here, pha/tg/uys!

>>18703159
>Not being able to breathe in space
>2012

>>18703159
>I guess there are no heroes left in man anymore
>no heroes left in man

If that was an intentional protomen reference, then I love you. Response in soon.

>>18703195

Aaaah I am monitoring this thread and would totally participate but I'm currently PCing in a game!

Also, what the fuck Captcha.

That is a wall, not a word.

Us britfags aint weak if that's what you spittin'
we stay up till 4 to read yo mouth-shittin'
and if yo saying manchildren are we
we still above neckbeards, by land or by sea
and while you're alleging we'll sink like a rock
I don't give a shit CAUSE I'LL JUST FUCKKIN WALK
I got two hearts, acid spit and big fuck off bones
and if we don't get us no sleep we don't jones
So you see your grave error, we'll krump you all day
while keeping the 'nids and Dark Eldar at bay
Whitout breaking a sweat for the first or the last
since we are the future - and you, just the past

Y'all aint our level, you sad little man
even the Squats would get you overran
but maybe we'll shove you in a nice PDF
and when the guns' roar has left y'all stone deaf
then maybe we'll drive you ahead of our men
so when we hear 'BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD' again
we won't lose real soldiers, just some norse pussies
Rollin' over and offering horses their goodies
Cause we found all your legends - dude, shit's fucked up
when some guy has a six legged horse as his pup.
Always you boastin' bout ya pantheon's power
But they're just some shit the c'tan could devour.
So maybe our Emperor's seen better days
But Chaos still quivers under his manly gaze
We've dealth with Slaanesh, kicked Korne to the kerb
Nurgle and Tzeench get lit up like de herb
So don't try and tell me that you're supertough
compared to us, you some girl powerpuff.
Three great empires, clashing in the ruins
Able to match to the trouble that's brewin'
you guys fear ice giants, and a great snake
But we see that shit as a weekend break.
So bring on your fighters and gods in full horde
and see how you feel when you just get ignored
for significant threats, or even just Tau,
and you just can't touch us, no way no how.
Exterminatus ain't needed, the Inquisitors say
we reckon we can crush you before Tuesday.

[insturmental]

[last part of the last one, too damn long]
But you know what? Fuck it's - let's say that I stop
and when it comes to these battles let you be on top
So you yap on and on, tell us all you shit hot
and boast of all of the norsewank you got,
Of you bravery and spirit and all that it begat
and then you can tell us to run and tell that,
But what you aint realised is I've won already
and time's on my side with its progress so steady
You see you ain't noticed your great tragedy
Sure, boast of your progress - YOUR FUTURE IS ME

>>18703195
Pretty new at this but I'll do what I can to help out Vikings v 40K

>>18702729

New contender joining the ranks
Looks like you kids are having fun with your lyrical pranks
But now its time to teach, class is in session
so sit down, listen and I'll teach you a lesson

So you say flesh is weak, but metal can rust
A little bit of water and your lyrics are bust
Norse steppin' and rhymin' right out of the snow
While your stuck up on Mars with no place to go
So keep on rollin' don't let me grind your gears
But there's nothing more delicious than those Admech tears

You traded blood for oil, and brawn for brains
But your Omnissiah is still less than our Thanes
You think women like those mechadendrites
Well they're as attractive as a fat man in tights
Vikings get the women like a four course meal
And even our kids know the Riddle of Steel
So get out of here bolts, and don't come a knockin'
When the Nordstrom party down, Ragna-rockin

>/tg/ rap battle
>vikings vs 40k

This is worth staying up until 4:30 britfag mean time for.

>>18704064
AWWW YEAH
POSE AS A TEAM, CAUSE SHIT JUST GOT REAL

Dammit /tg/ I really need to sleep

>be Norwegian
>really amazed by this thread

>"when yo' viking line gave birth to Anders Breivik!
>That shit just ain't something I can support,
>'cuz he's probably reading this from a Norweigan resort!"

Yeah no, I was with you up until that one. There's sick burns and then there's THAT.

I was praying for a rap and it came

I call to Heaven and pray for my flow, from On High to here like lyrical snow, so, white and pure like wings of a dove, bringing aid to the rhymeless from up above

check it, I see grimdarkness, chaos and blood
but angels avenge with a 40 day flood
40,000 years and a corpse on a throne
humans ain't shit when they go it alone, no, pick up the phone, send a prayer on up, metal supermen who can't keep it up, call him Sanguinius I just call him wanna-be, you see
white wings don't make you divine
holy purpose is an angel defined
not grim dark but Good aligned

>>18704247
Settle down, Beavis. I'm Norwegian too. I will say I was hoping for a better line about Breivik though, something like "No country for children" or some shit. But anyways, relax my man!

>>18703996
>>18703967
Britfags ain't weak? Since when?
'Cause we Norsemen stay up till 5 AM!
Your father's a puff, and your mother's a slag
And you're built like a cig, so I guess you're a fag
When we were getting bored like the alpha in class
We showed up and straight up raped your ass
And the only reason you can battle me, bruv
Is because my ancestor showed yours some LOVE
We bred courage into you while killing your weak link
So before you diss my kind, stop a moment and think
You brag about your longbow like it's rehearsed
But the vikings were the ones who brought it to you first
'Cause we rushed into your nation headfirst
And took the hot women and left the worst!

And even in the future, you remain dirty and poor
Haven't you ever seen a bathtub before?
And you act all tough, but I'm quite sure
That you're still scared like a bitch when we invade your shores!
Planetary invasions, taking your land
Like the old days, when we would expand
Raiding your churches just 'cause we can
Leaving rape babies, now ain't that grand
The only courage you have is second hand!
Space Marines are asexual, so you won't leave an heir
We defeat you in chainmail, you cannot compare
'Cause even as underdogs, we prevail!
And set sail for Holy Terra to liberate
The planet from it's oppressive estate
Oh, and to set somethin' straight
Sleipnir didn't have six legs, he had EIGHT!
And it's true that Loki has no standards
Fucking bitches and leaving lots of bastards
So don't be surprised at a large orphan litter
'Cause Loki knocked up every single Battle Sister!
They ain't shieldmaidens, just bitches
Armored whores to satisfy manchild niches!

>>18704506
And here you are, retreating again
Pretending that you're brave British men
But the truth is that you're scared, my friend
'Cause you have no courage to lend
And your forces piss themselves when they see us
Defeating you with swords when you have Leman Russ?
You're so pathetic, I straight disconnect your face
Yo, it's your turn - but you got second place.

>>18703589
Also, yes - Protomen ref.

[Hot damn, go take a nap and lookit all dis...]

>>18704426
Shit lost my second half
cloud shift open astral rift close
from material to celestial arose
and the slain I chose, like valkyrja hos
I banged them all till they curled their toes
that's right, Valhalla's closed
got our wings tangled up
you can't go to Asgard when I'm deep in that rump
sorry Vikings but it's a new order
it's Heavenly might trumping your ergi seidr
Don't believe me? Look, you're blinder than your Allfather, least he got one eye, you're deader than Hodr,
At least a Viking dead is still half of a man
We got mutated space marines stuck in tin cans
Space Wolves? Half dog, half beef and no fight
How's a science project stand to an Angel's light?
Dark Ages, Far Future, I transcend time
reach across to both ways and assault you with rhyme
Recap: I'm an Angel check out this shine, this battle is mine, viking and dreadnought fall behind, but, I'm so kind, give two warriors a chance, raise you both from the dead, raise a sacred lance
the spears we dance
till you're dead in the Waste
I've got eternity, no need to make haste.

I don't even need the other boards anymore.

>>18704520
>>18704506
Oh please now brotha I'm more than unsure
that your relation to sex is that much more mature
when rape is your method rather than your allure
that ain't the sound of a man that's mature!
And let me point out, sure marines are too busy
but we still get the empire's girls in a tizzy
and the Guard wouldn't fight all those wars of attrtion
if all of our men weren't acheiving ignition
In the future we getting ourselves so much tail
That we can straight outbreed you without fail
we wouldn't be able to face tryanids
if our loyal citizens weren't making kids
to be gunsmiths and princeps, pilots and workers
that allow men like me to face chaos usurpers
but thanks for that point about slepnir you're right
my grasp of your 'mythology' ain't so tight
But I guess it's not really that worth it you see
to be keepin' up on my anthropology
of a culture long dead that just couldn't last
You aint eactly modern - y'all distant past
And don't fucking dare to be talking at me
in whining tones bout underdogs that you be
oh boo hoo! no fair! they've all got guns!
Well fucksticks that's spoiled our retrograde fun
Have you seen what we fight, you fuckstick cretin??
It's the kind of shit that y'all couldn't threaten
Unstoppable demons, and dozens of species
that think tihs whole GALAXY is in their reaches
near immortal aliens and robots so dope
that in our hood thirty sseconds y'all wouldn't cope
and we fight on and on, and they may grind us down
but before we lose we'll fucking go to town
on whole worlds of the cretins, make them our bitches
and they're all the sort of stuff that makes you soil your britches
so don't look for pity for your underdog status
you don't fucing know what it's like to have haters.
Or best them and triump against all the odds
and even face down a quartet of dark gods.

[cont]

And as for this metal body of mine,
you should just admit it's exceptionaly fine
Yeah boxy, yeah scratched, yeah battered and pitted
but for the purpose of killing its fitted
Demons and monsters and aliens all
One good old punch from my left hand - they fall.

One final thing, all your boasts of chainmail
mean fucking nothing when most of you fail
to have fuckin' shoes, or more than a tunic
and braes that barely cover hair that is pubic
hose that collapse and secondhand swords
and sheilds that ain't exactly great wards
Nah, all of that 'awesome' equipment you keep
is so shit that you look at a guardsman and weep
We kit him in cardboard and give him a light
and I'd still bet on him in a fight
against the finest of housecarls or the mightiest man
who thought he'd a-viking, or such was the plan
but damn if he didn't jsut end up a farming
since most of your men only soil were harming
Yeah vikings wrere mostl craftsmen and traders
Not the fa/tg/uy image of blue-eyed invaders
who came all this way to pillage and burn
but you ended up shooled - and if a lesson you learn
it's fear the tin huntsman, a god on the field
and it'll be best if you see me and yeild
since maybe I'll pity you, aint it the truth
I'll just look at you and think 'viking poof'
and walk on and go for some tougher foe
It's slaying the big ones that I make my dough,
Not little norse wimps who think that some rape
will make us all think them to have manly shape
but the look of some men who can't warriors best
and have to their mettle against housewives test.

Firstly - well done at working the Protomen in. Secondly, I 'd like to add that I spent last night at a Pirates Vs Vikings club night as a viking in period gear, and had to spend half the night fighting the nagging sensation that my ass was hanging out. Observations in >>18705148 from personal experience.

>>18705148
>>18705132
Interesting fact I got from British authors
You guys were scared of viking lovers!
Not even kidding, you guys baww'd all day
That the vikings were clean and seduced your women away!
Not even kidding, it's right there in your books
'Cause even British women couldn't cope with your looks!
And calling us pussies while you spit and you shun
Even though Henry VIII couldn't even sire a son!
Spit something new, 'cause I've just begun
And our manliness simply can't be outdone!

Once again, I catch you mistaken
'Cause the term "viking" doesn't cover EVERY pagan
Norse farmers weren't the raiders at sea
So when you try to dis me, try to learn history!
And all I hear from you is the same whine
That you got it so hard 'cause you fight all the time
So shut the fuck up and grab your sword
Your galaxy's a gift - you can never get bored!
There's so much to fight, and so much to slay
So much to see, and so much to lay
But humanity today is a sorry sight, I say
You're not Stone Men, you're made out of clay!

Chainmail layered over wool
Worked like an arrowproof vest, isn't that cool?
You only used one ring in your maille like a trainee
We were smart enough to use THREE!
Combined with amazing weavery, we were set
Against your arrows, so don't you ever forget
That everything you tried, we met and outdid
So it won't be long before we're rocking new outfits
Outdoing the trillions of Brits at their own game
And after this, 40k will rock a Norwegian name!
Hide behind your pauldrons, or your silly machines
'Cause I just left you crippled like the Horus Heresy

>>18705194
Thanks! Viking vs Pirate bar antics sounds like a ton of fun though, ass hanging out or not. But, I'm heading to bed 'cause it's 7 AM and I'm supposed to be doing shit tomorr--today. So, good, err, morning!

The mettle of axes or pauldrons, all the same
And to the working classes it's utterly inimical
The privileged classes treating war as a game
Historical pressures creating a history cyclical
On one hand, a past unacceptably inequitable
On the other, a future that ignores the inevitable

The rational mind knows history is dialectical
For the universe is simply matter set in motion
And both you, your ignorance is utterly incredible
When you look around do you not sense the commotion?

Your wars of plunder and exterminatus surely drive inflation
Ever increasing since the dawn of civilization
Which surely must always accelerate capital's accumulation
Until the working classes are put into an unbearable situation
Upon which they will cease to belong to any race or nation
And for the upper classes reserve nothing but entire devastation

>>18705547

Get out.

>>18705518
goodnight you mental bastard. I'll wirte a reply then head to bed myself. No idea when/if I'll be back before autosage

>>MFW I end up in the supermarket right after it opens because nerd rap battle

>>18705547
This man speaks truth. The dead are without race or nation.

>>18705447
Well maybe you're right that Norse aint jus a-viking
but if my grasp of history aint to your liking
please do remember we don't know what was before
this far flung future where there is only war
And I'm sure that it's great that you innovated
You're so damn proud of that mail you created
But you know what? Quite frankly I don't give a damn
cause to me that protection really is a sham
Fuck arrows, fuck bullets, fuck you're little sword
you can swing at my armour till we both get bored
and I won't fucking notice, won't even wake up,
Techonolgically speaking, you ain't getting no cup
you'll have to forgive me if no nobel prize
is given to you before jealous eyes.
So well done for besting some other old nation
but when talknig to ME, you forget your station

From agri or forge world, death world or hive
My way is keeping ALL humans alive
and that's why I'm greatest, the top of the tree
and how i know you just jelly of me.
So tell you what, I'll do you a solid
and if you wannaleave your past life so squalid
I'll put a word in for you with the techmarines
see if I can't get you your own grand machine
You can become one of us, a winner at last
and stop dicking about in some meaningless past

And I say to you all, those that stand here assembled
full of the humanity that I once resembled,
you can do no finer than join the astartes
for a life of war, freedom and parites
over the corpses of upstarts, and many a foe
that fell before us, unto them woe!

so the next time we rollin' through your neigbourhood
stop wasting your life, come do something good.
Join the children of Russ, Dorn or the Lion,
Or of Guilliman (if y'all can stand Ward's lyin')
Take up your arms in the nobelest cause
For here, at last - there is only war.

>>18704064
[Hope I'm not too late, rap augmentations take forever to install.]

The only lesson I value comes from an STC
You think you got something to say? Who you the GOD MACHINE?
Vikings always raging, never listen, never yearn for knowledge
Their poor swords and steel rust, guess you skipped college.
Machine spirits are everywhere, tools and blades
You might know this, if your culture had anything handmade.
Treat it right, slather on some unguents and oil
Do that shit fast, or say hello to my tesla coil.
Steel is a riddle? nah its an alloy
Take some iron and carbon, maybe some nickel, now go and re-deploy.

Flashlord preserve us, you think we lost our brains?
Silica, my binary cortex, and cogitator banks will abstain, while I explain.
In order for man to obtain,
Without going insane,
the knowledge to remain,
hell, to even campaign
he must restrain, the mundane thoughts and ascend
To be able to comprehend
The quest for knowledge, in the end.
I must ammend
Mars Tech Priestess have the best rear ends.

Dendrites you say...whats under my robe?
Guess what! NO ONE KNOWS.
I got servos for days, satisfy multiple lays
The line of adepts outside of my lab, never ceases to amaze.

Alright, Alright, lets start this shit up tonight.
I got one chance to drop this sick ass bomb, cause after this I have to go fuck your mom.
First I gotta start by saying you are all shit, and collectively don't have a molecule of wit, and you have a spazing fit, when you receive a direct hit, because you're fucking two-bit and the reason that someone first said, ur a faget.
I will have to give credit, where credit is due, I am impressed at the cock sucking you all do. Cause you all fucking suck, this I can say is true, and maybe you'll learn a fucking lesson on rhymes when I'm through with all of you.
Now I have to say I'm surprised on how bad you are of yet, and I would surmise, that you're all writing something down you memorized off the internet, or so I'm willing to bet. Now change your pants, you look like you got wet.
And you know what's real scary? You all act like a big group of pansy fairies, when my rap comes down you'll drop like a canary. Cause my shit is on fire, it's pure incendiary. Now best be wary, when I'm through with you, you'll be a cliff note to an obituary.
Word out.

Computer crashes ain't 'bout to make me recede,
Now i'm gettin' treated to this teal deer stampede?
Don't impede yo' flow with all that verbose shit,
Makin' deals with the devil, sellin' the soul of wit,
Now kit-bash kiddies have joined the fray,
But yo' paint's more picasso than claude monet,
And you payin' top dollar for overpriced pigments,
Tryin' to get people to care 'bout yo' imaginary figments,
Gettin indignant when spectators linger,
Yo let me touch them minis with my cheeto fingers,
And y'all are singers tryin' to front like rappers,
When you ain't got shit on my OG swagger,
'Cuz i drop crappers better than y'all drop beats,
With hellacious hooks too hot to repeat,
Consistently complete, i deliver quality quantity,
And even the haters agree, there's just no stoppin' me.

Goddamn, MC Fotbitr's a machine. Look at all this rap, he's holding his own.

I expected more from S&B, but goddamn what he's posted is devastating as ever.

Dreadnought is great, TwoDee is too. Best rap thread in years, thanks for bringing back a slice of old /tg/ ;_;

Whenever I get back to this thread (still in-game), I have no idea whose side I'm on at this point!

>>18704247
Kind of comes with the territory, like shit talking Greece for boy-loving and bad economics. The same way a German rapper would get slammed with a line about Hitler, or some weeaboo about the atom bomb. Rap is in poor taste.

And because you're offended it was a sick burn. Although laughed hard at "no country for children", that would have been a perfect burn.

Switches and cords Sword'n'Board, sounds like a personal deal
Back that fine machine up and let me give it a feel.
Re-strike the rune of ignition, toll the engines bell
Machine spirit still protests? Tell that shit farewell.
Everyones broadcasting, posturing, spouting scrap code,
The rhymes are horrible, its making my brain explode.
I could care less if my lyrics ain't legit
My second brain is cogitating while I work techno-magic.
Lathes Magos are self sufficient,
We fabricate, though it may look reminiscent.
Imaginations the name of the game
S&B, ain't that where you got your name?
40k is a space fantasy parody,
We fight Necrons, you fought DJ Phylactery.
Heading back to the Panopticon,
When I get back, you kids best be off my damn lawn

Keeping this thread alive for the people who matter
/tg/ thats you, jump in with some SWAGGER.

01110000 01100101 01100001 01100011 01100101

Binary motherfuckers, learn to speak it.

Makes me wonder if we should organize a regular monthly rap with a different theme each time. Or at least, a starting theme. This one began with vikings and grew into norse vs 40k.

>>18706787
Thanks man! It's good to know we're all doing a good job to contribute to my favorite community on the internet!

>>18706930
That's a great question hahaha! If Welf is still around - Welf/MC Fotbitr/TwoDee VS SnB/MC Dreadnought/Magos? You were already in the middle of a battle with SnB, so I figure that could work, or somethin'.

>>18707992
I would definitely want to be a part of that if it happened, but we definitely shouldn't get too saturated on phat rhymes! So, monthly, bi-monthly, or just start one up whenever - it's all good!

>>18708236
or you all gang up on Karl Marx.

>>18705810
First of all, I hope this rap battle is to your liking
An incredibly cool battle, 40k vs vikings
But honestly, I'm surprised you're still fighting
'Cause bravery from a space marine is like a Sasquatch sighting
You hear about it, but it's never been seen
'Cause you're as reliable as Ork machines!
Leaving planets to die, setting bad examples
You ain't hardcore when you pick your battles!
Instead of fighting for what's right in Odin's name
You sleep on the watch and demand public acclaim!
My flow is Giant, Jotun to be precise
Your flow is like your minis - overpriced!
And my rhymes are so large, they tower over your mechas
And they hit you so hard, they're ENUFF DAKKA!
Orkboyz trippin' out like berserkers on shrooms
'Cause I'm both Gork and Mork, at least they assume
I'm immune to wack MCs, carvin' you up like runes
The Orks are freakin' out, give them some elbowroom!
'Cause I put you in a Necron tomb under sandy dunes
And you ain't gettin' out any time soon
'Cause we have a galaxy to reform and reclaim long lost pride
And all you Brits did was get curbstomped and DIE
So why don't you please step aside
And let us grant humankind the future they've been denied!

And yo, I don't want to join your posse
I got better shit to do than be a catholic space nazi
I even beat you at your own faith, I'm more Righteous
'Cause I'm dishing out the pain like I'm Captain Titus
And since you can't rap, and since you can't fight
And since you can't cook, and your brain ain't bright
We have no use for you except expendable troops
So nothin' will change for you, ya dumb brutes
You keep sayin' you're tough, that's par the course
You're just mad you're not as big as Star Wars
'Cause your setting's writing is incredibly poor
And it speaks volumes when I pick Lucas over Ward!