>>18997281
It's not just you.
Alchemists are creepy.
And awesome.
I always play them as either Hammer Horror mad scientists or Josef Mengeles eviler brother.
I once played one who continually experimented on prisoners.
He especially enjoyed conducting his experiments on Elves.
This was in an evil campaign of course.

It almost seems like a feitsh class written by furries.

>>18997296
And our DM once had one meet a Shou Tucker expy.
They got on like a house on fire.
A house full of people with the doors and windows warded.

If you take the "vestigial limb" discovery twice, you can gain "parasitic twin", which creates a subservient and stunted second person on your torso. You can make it absorb mind-affecting spells and abilities that target you.

And then a tiny man partially emerges from your side, stares at the enchantress, flails its infantile arms and gurgles "I love you!"

Additionally, I can use the infusion discover to make these extracts potions that others can use. I just don't know what exactly happens when you drink a potion that makes your skin come off. Technically you can dismiss it as a standard action, but you also probably use up your turn having your skin come off and also going "WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK".

They're creepy as fuck if you're playing them right, sure.

>>18997307
mfw

I used the vomit swarm potion to get a free meal for my party at a large tavern in the main city. Slight of hand it while eating and claim it came from the food

The worst part is that, if your body is killed while you remain in your skin, you stay alive in there until the spell runs out. Thanks to a douchebag alchemist, you have four hours to live and you're spending it as a hollow sheet of affront to nature.

Now, the question is... what build do I go with? Vivisectionist isn't interesting to me, since I'm not looking to play a rogue and stumbling on it. I kinda want to play around with Bottled Ooze; Enhance Potion or whatever it's called will help if I remember it right (and I doubt I do), and my.DM may let me use 3.5 oozes like Living Spell.

I definitely want to get plenty of extracts/day so I can slip everyone magic LSD and still be useful.

>>18997319
>"Start the mana well...save Golarion..."

>>18997363
If my group hadn't all seen Total Recall, I would totally run that.

>>18997351
...I juat realized: I thought that the Alchemist had Sleight of Hand to palm bombs, but it's really to drug someone's drink.
>>18997347
That seems like massive overkill.
"Wench, what is this mass of hundreds of spiders doing in my stew!?"
"I think that's the backstroke."

>>18997351

Clone Master, bro. Make copies of copies of copies of copies of copies of yourself.

>mfw

Cool, so we can make the vagina spider drow now with a simple refluff.

>>18997375
>..I juat realized: I thought that the Alchemist had Sleight of Hand to palm bombs, but it's really to drug someone's drink.

If you JUST realised that, you might not be up to being an Alchemist.

REMEMBER: If it's exists it can be experimented on!

Chirurgeon gets to turn cure minor wounds potions into anaesthetic at like 7th level I think by the way..

>>18997395
I guess I could set my copies to work gathering materials for and constructing more simulacra.

But what happens when the copies start improving on their own generation in the next?

>>18997415

Then you've got a plot hook!

>>18997299

Doctor Moreau references =/= furry. Read some fucking literature.

2/10 for getting me to respond.

On a separate note, playing a vivisectionist/rage chemist with feral mutagen is oodles of fun. I played one of those for kingmaker; he was a horrible cannibal monstrosity and the party Paladin and Druid had some serious problems with that.

>>18997408
>>18997405

So it's a simple leap of logic to assert that, if it exists, it can be drugged and have potions shoved up its vagina.

>>18997281
>herbert_west_is_aroused.jpg

Alchemists can be creepy fuckers if played right, but I much prefer them this way.

>>18997419

Oh yeah. Man, I mean you can basically play Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde if you want, which is another awesome thing about the Alchemist.

I think Alchemist has basically every fictional and non-fictional mad scientist ever rolled into one.

>>18997423

Your entire party will thank you when they wake up and find they've been unconscious for a week while you graft the healer onto the fighters back and give the rogue the healer's unused legs so he gets a cumulative bonus to acrobatics checks.

I mean, how could they not?

Alchemists: Great class, or greatest class?

>>18997351
>The worst part is that, if your body is killed while you remain in your skin, you stay alive in there until the spell runs out. Thanks to a douchebag alchemist, you have four hours to live and you're spending it as a hollow sheet of affront to nature.
...Fucking alchemists.

>>18997419
I was also reminded of Nazi doctors who tried to create animal men with awkward experiments involving bestiality.

As for feral mutagen; what animal do I pick?

>>18997462

Why pick? You're an Alchemist! MAKE an animal!

>>18997473

Cross a duck with an octopus.

>>18997462
>>18997477

>Cross a duck with an octopus.
>While the mutagen is in effect, the alchemist gains a +2 competence bonus on Intimidate skill checks.

That's one scary ass ducktopus

>>18997462
>>18997473

Obviously a Liger. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed bred for its skills in magic.

>>18997428
Psychonaut seemed underwhelming to me.

Although: how do I get lots of extracts to drug lots of people at once?

>>18997494
Fun fact, there really is such thing as a Liger.
It's a Lion/Tiger cross-breed that never stops growing over its entire lifespan.
But no, they have no magical abilities.

Make an actual Turducken. Sell it to farmers, get rich

>>18997499

I vaguely remember figuring out how to do this but it's been a long time.

Something about preparing the extract "base", which you can make unlimited amounts of and it doesn't become inert. Only when you infuse the base does it become active and must be used within a day.

>>18997477
Cross a badger and a dolphin.

For me is one of the best gothic horror themed class you could play in Pathfinder a part of the Witch and the Oracle.
Is perfect for dark fantasy campaigns and we have some kingdoms in the main setting which are pretty well suited for that kind of genre, like Ustalav or the Worldwound.
Golarion has already shown is not a full high fantasy world but more a dark fantasy one. There are cults of Chtulhu, Nyarlathotep and even Shub-Niggurath, there is an insane gold dragon which has created a kingdom what merges 1894, A brave new world and Fahrenheit 451 in a single island, the god of humankind is dead, there is an empire ruled by Asmodeus where diabolism is legal, not only a dark lord but a fuct ton of them which are in suspended animation (from the Runelords to Tar-Baphon)....and if that is not enough, in the solar system there are a war between two robot factions, a planet populated by insane techno liches and a generational ship full of crazy mutants ready to invade.

>>18997462
Actually, it was a Soviet 'scientist'.
http://www.scotsman.com/news/international/stalin-s-half-man-half-ape-super-warriors-1-686693

>>18997501

I know that, but was attempting to play off the fact that alchemists are arcane casters. But yeah there are:

Ligers
Tigons
Li-Tigons
Ti-Ligers
Li-Ligers
Ti-Tigons

>>18997521
So you get a...dodger?

I would have my alchemist look classicly good looking, square jawed etc, with slight pale skin. I'd also have him wear a long leather robe that covered his entire body below the neck and was held in shape by hundereds of belts.

and compressed beneath those belts, I would take the parasitic twin, attatched to my chest, which is actually gaunt and sunken. So under the coat, I look barrel chested, however when I open it up you just have this cackling, reaching, drooling monstrosity.

>>18997534

The fighting prowess and ability to "fuck your shit up proper." of a Badger with the malicious intent to gang rape you of a Dolphin.

>>18997521
Well, there is a wolf/orca monster which was created by an alchemist so....

>>18997574
A...warca?

Still more horrified by the thought of crossbreeding a wolverine with a dolphin, though. All that dolphin rape-instinct coupled with the wolverine UNLEASH THE FUCKING FURY.

Honey Badger and Dolphin. It's a rapist that gives no fucks about anything.

>>18997528
Yea. Wow. That's...
Fuck.
Stalin was fucked up.

>>18997437
That's actually something that could be "fun" to pull on a party. Would shift the tone quite a bit.

>>18997593
Honey Badger and FERRET.
It can fuck shit up right proppa, gives no fucks, is clever as all hell, AND can get into any space where it can fit its head.

>>18997604
Don't forget the little break dances of death they do.

Dolphin rape caves.

Ah, the horrors of the sea.

Guys, guys. Listen guys, you're missing the potential here.

Why not cross the badger/ferret AND the wolverine/ dolphin?

>>18997528
>>18997594
There are theories about the possibility Dr. Ivanov failure would be the origin of AIDs as he used some human sperm in "bad condition".

Wait, guys...
why are we limiting ourselves to just two animals in our abominations?

>>18997616

>>18997616
>>18997619
>THISISONLYTHEBEGINNINGmind

>>18997521
I might try badger/goblin shark.

>>18997616

>>18997624
So, /tg/, I put it to you to make the perfect twisted pet chimeric abomination for a batshit insane Alchemist.

>>18997616

A badger, ferret and wolverine combination is redundant, they're all mustelids and all vicious as fuck.

A mustelid/rat combo would be terrifying. A vicious bastard that can run as fast backwards as well as forwards with a collapsable skull that means it can fit through tiny spaces.

>>18997307
I once played an alchemist on the run from his former king, after my character fell out of his favour and he killed his wife as punishment. He managed to remove and preserve her heart as she lay dying of some incurable disease, and sought a way to build her a new body as a motivation for adventuring, often using his own flesh and blood as experimental fuel; I took as many 'bodymod' discoveries as I could and was a walking freakshow under a plague doctor's getup.

I played him as a Vivisectionist (the court's royal physician) variant and always took Dex-buffing mutagens, and basically played a fill-in rogue.

The campaign never got very far off the ground (big OOC split as everyone else went "KINGMAKER? What do you MEAN we're building a kingdom?!"), but my plan with the DM was to eventually return and wreck bloody vengeance upon his former king, culminating in taking the Parasitic Twin as surgically grafting what was left of him to my body, forever my servant.

Yes, the party DID hate my character. Especially the paladin.

gentlemen.

>>18997654
Badgerrat it is, then. What shall we cross with our new Badgerrat, /tg/?

Humboldt squid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humboldt_Squid)

X

Africanised bee (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Africanised_bee)

= The Africanised Humboldt Bee: Flying, swimming, double angry, tentacled monstrosity that will sting you then tear off your face.

>>18997419
>>18997299
Furries ≠ Fetishizing Anthropomorphic Animals

>>18997668
Newt, so it can regenerate limbs.

>>18997281
Not only are Alchemists what you just described, but they also have the potential to be dangerous terrorists. The reason for this is Alchemists can blow shit up with their bombs, and if thats not enough, they can build bigger bombs if they want! (Though they can't actually do that with the bombs they have, they can still make fuse bombs.)

All the alchemist has to do is drink disguise self and vocal alteration extracts, deliver their payload to the support structure of a giant building, and (if they have delayed bombs) detonate the bomb from a safe distance.

>>18997678

Axolotl, then it can regenerate pretty much everything

>>18997678
>not a dolphin newt

>>18997668
GIANT ENEMY CRAB!

>>18997688
Well played.
Pangolin, for natural armor.

This is how I played my alchemist.

Feats for MOAR bombs.

Feats for BIGGER blast radii.

Extract of flight.

Extract of True strike.

>>18997698


And like a retard, I didn't post my image

I think it would be best to cross breed for the best possible combination of rodent and rodent like properties, then expand outward towards reptiles and amphibians

>>18997698
so, hobgoblin?

>>18997668
Why are you limiting yourselves to normal animals. Why not magical beasts or monstorous humanoids?

Cross that badgerrat with a minotaur? Not only is it a fast, nimble critter that is vicious and gives no fucks, but it has the strength of a bull... AND IT ALWAYS KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE!!!

Guys.

Guys.

Start pillaging the planes for celestial and infernal versions of animals, and use THOSE in your insane experiments.

>celestial dire boar crossbred with infernal, fuck if I know, crocodile or something

Why not crossing human and Tarrasque?

>>18997668
Gecko, that it climb walls.
Chameleon, so colorchanging.

>>18997724
Do YOU want to figure out a way to collect tissue samples from a Tarrasque?
Sperm?

>>18997709

Hmmmm. That works out pretty well.

Mutagen for the Goblin Formula, bombs for bombs.

All you need is some kind of item that give you a decent fly speed.

Things to splice:
Hawk or Eagle flight capabilities
Rabbit reproduction
Rat body

Do not release, and run experiments. Find whatever kills them.

Then perhaps do research on making dire variants. Unleash in sewers of nearby towns.

>Strength of a bull
>badgerrat
>Doesn't even consider sizing catagories
You've never actually done this before have you?
Come on man, we're doing magical SCIENCE here, not going for to LaLa fairy land where there are magically super badgerrat. Get it together

>>18997718
ABBERANT celestial dire boar crossbred with infernal, fuck if I know, crocodile or something

>>18997744
NOW you're thinking with planar SCIENCE!.

Someone archive this.

Dire badgerat with flight. They construct insectoid colonies, somewhat like ginormous beehives, and work off of a hivemind mentality.

>>18997744
I believe you mean pseudonatural.

Anyway, this is a fantasy universe, you gotta add angel, fiend, and dragon at some points along with the tentacles.
>odevell people
I'm not sure we're making people.

>>18997728
why not.
FOR SCIENCE!

>>18997737
>>18997725
These are good, but we still need some water running basiliscus
and the best swimmer we can
Tiny sharks? Tiny Crocogators?

>>18997752
Oh my god, we could graft the badgerat hive onto another creature. Like a turtledragon or, wait.

How hard would it be to lobotomize an Abolith?

Flight variant pests need to differ from aquatic variants.

For aquatic variants, what I suggest is something that's a cross between an angler fish, a mimic octopus, and a frog for amphibian survivability.

>>18997765
>frog
>survivability

I've...got news for you.

>>18997765
is directed at
>>18997758

>>18997766
Taking it out of context.

I want it to be amphibian. The best animal to cross it with to ensure that it's amphibian is a frog. Or perhaps a snake. Slithers on tentacles and can morph to things around it, but still has the jaw structure and light thing of the angler fish.

Frogs have good reproductive capabilities, though. Millions of tadpoles and what not.

>>18997775
And to add to this, if you change it to something like a crocodile or an alligator, then it reproduces more slowly, and isn't a "pest" so much as a dangerous predator.

The idea is for pests and swarms. They're more easily manipulated, and more easily dealt with in case things go wrong. They also make for excellent distractions.

The thread is bananas.

>>18997729
>decent fly speed.

Fly is a class skill for an Alchemist and he gets, like, 9 skill points per level. You should be able to do something with that.

Or you just take the Wings Discovery at level 6.

>>18997787
While I agree that the swarm should form the heart of our force, they make a poor choice to take and hold ground. I'm not sure I can trust my "unimproved" party members to the task of securing a proper lab.

>>18997728
I guess it would work something like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7odcoqjTLsE

>>18997803
I'd recommend starting in a sewer. You'll have little distraction, save the occasional homeless person (read:test subject).

I'd start with the flying rat variant. You can find the rats all over the sewer, and you can have a ranger capture several badgers, or birds for you to experiment with.

Sewers are harsh environments, well suited to see if your animal variant will survive in the sewers. If it can survive in the sewers, it can almost definitely flourish outside.

The sewers also offer great concealment. A rat hive, for example, would probably go undetected until it reached a critical population level.

The sewers also gives you a good place to check the viability of creating the aquatic variant.

A sewer isn't the most aesthetically pleasing place, but it's a good location to conduct science without the watchful eyes of simpletons and questionable values like ethics.

>>18997775

Add some hagfish in there for slime, writhing and general horribleness

>>18997819
>homeless person

>>18997765
>angler fish

I think I've found my sewer henchmen.

>>18997848
Since we can use fantastical creatures, why not the will-o-the-wisps?

>>18997848
If you can some how create a signal system, like pheromones, or even just creating a variant that can scream real loud, you can use amphibian mimic octopuses to act as sensors.

>related as hell
http://www.amazon.com/Lives-Monster-Dogs-Kirsten-Bakis/dp/0446674168

>Playing an Alchemist
>Not being Dr. StangeLob
>I SHIGGY DIGGY BOOM

>>18997281
>Be party alchemist
>Make potions like Bull Strength or Cat's Grace
>Add an extra letter on each vial
>Those letters, unknown to the party, represent added mutagens and other things
>Only tell DM and watch effects

>>18997819
>experimenting in a sewer

Just, no. Here's what you do: You get Dancing Light and Permanency scrolls, scout out a nice, big, abandoned house a bit outside of city walls, make it look haunted as fuck, spread the rumor (in various disguises) that some ghastly spirits are residing there, disguise as a Halfling innkeeper, acquire the house under the guise of wanting to open a tavern (make sure you boast how ghosts can't scare you), which gives you the perfect excuse to buy huge glass vats (because every lab needs something for your specimen to float in). Then you outfit the basement as needed (the shambling undead make great laborers, Create Undead Scrolls are cheap and graveyards are always full). When you're done, stage a terrible ruckus that ends with your innkeeper-persona hightailing it the fuck out of there. Then you spread the news (again in various disguises) how that hardy Halfling fellow got scared away, board up the house, seal your basement lab (remember to create a secret entrance/exit in a rotten tree or something) and there you go. Secret, spacious lab that nobody in their right minds would want to enter or even come near.

For bonus points: If the city in question has a sewer system, you can easily tunnel into it from your basement, giving you free access to the city itself as well as the occasional bum.

>>18997863
Hmm. I've never seen the insides of a Will-o-wisp before. mitebcool

>>18997870
The hope would be to have something that could lure yet more homeless people to me, while remaining ablebodied/ terrifying enough to ward away (or better, subdue and capture) anyone trying to hinder the advanvces of SCIENCE.

>>18997619
It's decided, then. We clearly have to mix all the creatures in the world and see what comes out the other end.

>>18997933
Obviously, a true lab is preferable.

I'm simple saying that a sewer is a good, free place to start. One such location that is full of possible test subjects.

>>18997933
Dude.
Dude, seriously.
That whole set-up is a giant bright honking adventurer lure.
You've just built yourself a 1st lvl 4-man party dungeon deathtrap.

>>18997953
That's even better! Free test subjects!

Remember to trap the house. A little pressure plate-triggered hatch in the ceiling filled with Alchemist's Fire is always nice.

/tg/, you guy's are really missing the greatest Alchemist chimera ever created.

The cat with two heads.

It even has a theme song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrHk1wLS3ig

>>18997948
Why, in that case simply open Dr. Strangexperiment's Free Clinic and Hospital. No issue with you having weird equipment, a morgue right there on site, and a large selection of the poorest strata of society willingly coming to you! Of course you'll have to leave SOME alive and cured, to keep the facade up, but who's gonna notice if a few poor beggars and peasants disappear? Fucken no-one, that's who.

One of my friends who I'm running his first P&P RPG for is playing an alchemist as his first character.

Chuffy, a horrible little goblin alchemist who hates other goblins, likes explosions, and travels around with a small cart full of junk, both because he's a merchant, a magpie, and likes to show off. He frequently wears glasses he doesn't need, or fiddles around on an abacus to make himself look smart.

He found a caged pseudodragon in a bandit camp, and thought it was the best thing ever. He proceeded to refuse to release it for fear it would escape, then release it but beg it to stay, and bribe it with cheese. Once he actually got it to hang around, he named it Chuffy Two, and brings it everywhere.

Though he does make use of alchemy, potion crafting, and extracts, he seems to play it more as 'horrible goblin who loves exploding things' rather than creepy psycho-chemist. Personally, I think it's a fabulous character, even if he wasn't a complete novice at this.

>>18997953
>Front door: Locked.
>Floor in front of front door: Fails if stood on for more than [all-but-the-lucky time] seconds. Diverts to holding tank(s).

And, of course, you actually have a bar run should they come in the front door...run by one of your creatures.

>>18997953
I agree with this Anon. Your "security measures" are only going to encourage fledgling toughs and sneak theives looking for quick coin. On the other hand, I agree that a sewer tunnel is no place for a man of SCIENCE. It does afford us a measure of anonimity, but is totally impractical if we are to get the bageratfog population up to a sustainable level.

Guys, here's a fun note: In the 3.5 Tome of Magic, there's a swarm called the Murder of Crows with the type Animal.

I may mutagen myself into dozens of crowsharks.

>>18997960
>hatch in the ceiling filled with Alchemist's Fire
>in your own house
Insurance costs, mang.

>>18997976
I have the sudden urge to sew the two together. I shall dub it Chuffy Prime.

>>18998000
In my own desolate, haunted house.

>>18997933
>Fake haunted house
Nope.

Create a homeless shelter and free clinic. If possible, appeal to nobility or government for funding. Help people to the best of your ability. Then, take the homeless that won't be missed and have no friends. Say they were taken by a plague.

These are now your test subjects. Make an actual plague. Make it have symptoms resembling the plague you said the original people had. Engineer cure.

Slowly earn the trust of the homeless and destitute. Make them think you are all they have. Gain their loyalty, and you have somewhat of a group of people perhaps willing to die for you. They don't need to be strong just yet, they will be eventually when you gain free reign on the city.

Release plague, and immunize yourself, and your party (through means unknown to them, for example, spike it into a potion of cure light wounds or something).

Take plague victims, say they didn't make it, but report progress on plague cure. People won't question the disappearance of people with the plague. After that, it's a simple matter of just abusing this system to run tests and confirm results.

>>18998016
And thanks to this thread, I now have a BBEG, complete with minions and a dungeon.

>>18998016
>mfw

>>18998015
>In my own desolate, flammable, haunted house.
FTFY

>>18998016
I'm pretty sure this is the Simic guild of Ravnica.

>>18998016
The only issue with this plan is that it requires a staff. There's no way we can run the clinic and progress our research by ourself. It's problematic to find likeminded individuals willing to help further our cause.

>>18998016
>>18998039
Attach this to an insane asylum and you're good to go.

>>18998016

The plague. You may not be able to contain it.

>>18998016
>Adventurers discover your plot
>Attempt to inform other people of the clinic
>Demand it's destruction
>Heavy resistance from the homeless
>Nobility defend your project as a political tool, it helps appease the population at large and makes them look real good
>Adventurers are denounced, and if they attempt any action against the clinic, are considered evil by the town and chased out

Yes, yes. This'll do.

>>18998082
Why contain it?

>>18997737
>>18997737
So, do what he did but with animals?

>>18998082
This is why you work really fucking carefully, and engineer the plague to produce symptoms that resemble death, but are not actually death. Shut down the heart just enough such that there isn't anything but a very, very hard to detect pulse. This'll resemble a near death situation, if not a death situation.

And this is also why you do not infect a population larger than 3 or so at any given time. Also, keep them perfectly contained and sedated.

>>18998072
And that's where mongrelmen hybrids come in.

>>18998098
We can't have them seen by the public. We'd need to employ workers for the, uhh, front of house so to speak.

>>18998098
>>18998072
I thought there was undead for this?

>>18998016
But then there is the question of those pesky clerics, your plague isn't going to be much of a problem for them.

>>18998072
>Staff
Homeless volunteers. Surprisingly flexible. Loyal, and perhaps might not argue to a few potions that augment their abilities, like intelligence or dexterity.

Also, not perceptive enough to detect magic that might force submission.

>>18998112
So, hire a couple of orderlies with the money received from nobles. They don't need to know about the secret cellar to run their daily duties, do they?

>>18998113
Undead have terrible bedside manner.

>>18998072

Ape-man hybrids. Bam, problem solved

>>18998114
Not to mention any scryers. And I'm still not sure that local favour will keep us safe from the brigands. Most adventuring parties have a habit of marching to their own tune, whatever the local lords might say. We just don't seem secure. If there was ever a time to be paranoid, it is now.

>>18998125
>Secret area
No, that's clearly a quarantine zone for the poor souls afflicted by the plague.

We're just lucky I'm a brave enough doctor that I don't mind that I might die, if I can save even a few lives, then I can die at peace.

>>18998125
>Hire orderlies
I'm sure a few homeless at our clinic might not object to taking care of such things in return for their care.

>>18998122
>>18998125
I suppose, as long as the lab is strictly off limits and well fortified.

>>18998147
>lab
You people keep insisting that the quarantine zone is something other than a refuge for poor souls with the plague.

We're working with them the best we can, but for public safety, we just can't let anyone back there. Please understand, it's for the common good.

>>18998137
>secret experiment cellar
>quarantine zone
>brave doctor
I like the way you think, good sir!

I've noticed that the alchemists in this thread have gone from "grey-area hero" to just flat out villain in a very short space of time...

>>18998160
I think an era of peace and equality is a noble enough goal. Perfection is an attainable goal, but it requires hard work and dedication to get there.

>>18998135
Clearly we must engineer a scry-vectored plague that is contained within these most heavily-scryproofed areas.

>>18998160
No, no, no, you're thinking in wrong terms. I'm not trying to create a terrible, godless abomination made from artificially grown-flesh and part of my own life essence, I'm just trying to master the secrets of the beauty of life!

But you have already seen so much and still don't understand... no, you don't understand.

Apprehend him, my sweets! But do not harm him... he still might be of some use. At least parts of him might.

>>18998174

Thats just a posh way of saying the end justifies the means. Which as we all know is always evil. Always.

>>18998114
Come to think of it, remove disease spell doesn't confer immunity, so in epidemic situation it's not that great response. It would probably be used only on the worst afflicted or best paying patients, since spells / day are in limited supply.
In a city large enough clerics could even be completely helpless to stop a full-blown highly contagious (engineered) plague.

>>18998186
In war, the ends sometimes have to justify the means. In some cases, you're trading away human lives to keep civilians safe. You might throw a group of fresh recruits away to gain a better position and possibly win the battle.

War is the economics of life- to trade life in hopes it saves other lives. And life, is war.

>>18998186
Good? Evil?
Who are you to judge me?
Me, who has bested the GODS THEMSELVES in their game?
YOUR PUNY MIND CANNOT FATHOM MY GENIUS WHICH KNOWS NO BOUNDS.
FOOL, I HAVE RISEN FAR ABOVE YOUR PETTY IDEAS OF GOOD AND EVIL AND BEHELD THE FACE OF DIVINITY ITSELF.

>>18998182
>>18998205
/tg/ really makes better villains than heroes.

This plague was originally a means to secure ourselves a place to pursue our research unimpeded, but I'm now wondering if it won't simply attract many more dangerous obsticles to us in the long run. How long can we keep the facade up, and how long before neighbouring towns (and their leaders, and most importantly, their coin) cobble together some kind of expeditionary force to suss out the plague's orgins?

>>18998016
>Paladin walks iinto clinic one day
>Detects evil
>Sees you as evil
>CLEAVE AND SMITE! CLEAVE AND SMITE!
>News of paladin's death causes other paladins to investigate
>CLEAVE AND SMITE!

Mother fuckers don't see the obvious. Most paladins are played in such a way that they DO NOT NEED A REASON TO SMITE EVIL.

>>18998223
Plague's origin can just be written off as atrocious living conditions of the poor. Forced to eat crap, forced to sometimes live in the sewer, it's amazing we don't get more plagues, really.

All this does is make your clinic seem more humanitarian.

>>18998228

Have a well-known gambling vice. Boom.

>>18998186
I am a little more reasonable than some of my fellow men of SCIENCE. Yes, it is terrible that it has come to the taking of lives to further our knowledge. I mourn, I'm not ashamed to say. I mourn for the fact that our great voyage had not been undertaken sooner, that their lives might not have been improved, that they had not lived fulfilled in the knowledge that they were the very best they could have been. For all of recorded history wars have been waged, petty or noble, pitched and seige and bloody all the same. Power, dominance. To be the at the apex, and look down on the others. That dichotomy is a falsehood. There is space for all of us at the top. A single, glorious apex race. That is the end in which all means are justified.

Now I want to make an alchemist whose motivation for adventuring is to have a willing group of test subjects that will drink anything that's been mixed into a healing potion. Constantly apologising for the side effects while making sure to jot them down

>>18998223
Note to self: I need a patsy to take the blame when our cover is eventually blown. Mr. Renfield in cell B3 seems malleable enough, and suffers from bouts of megalomania making him an excellent candidate. With some invasive therapy I'm certain I can convince him that he was the mastermind behind the whole operation in no time.

If I may intrude on this lively discussion, I think something you're overlooking could be of major use and you could even get state funding.

A veterans' hospital.

Plenty of patients, privacy, on-site morgue, any relative experts you'll be able to afford, ample room to put in a basement lab, plus all of your test subjects start as "combat trained".

All you'll need to do is re-arm them.
Probably literally.
>Good as new, Sergeant. That tentacle will do twice the work of your old arm and it even includes a handy toxin spur from those leftover honey badger-platypus hybrids we had lying about. Back to the war, soldier.

Build a better super soldier and the world will beat a path to your door, money in hand and research grants as far as the eye can see.

>>18998261

>>18998228
>implying evil

But this is what I was talking about. We need better security. Words alone won't shield us forever.

>>18998248
>noble doctor struggling with his crippling gambling addiction
>asks paladin for help battling his demons
>gains a trusted friend and mentor
Glorious.

>>18998263
Addendum: you can safely write off "adventurers" from potential intruders, because they tend to avoid going to places filled with dreary corridors and no treasure to steal. Unless, of course, you find the sick fucks who like stealing prosthetic limbs, but that can't be avoided, really.

And nobody visits those places except other veterans, very few of whom would be in a position to be much more worrisome than the stuff you have growing jars in the basement. And if they get lippy, you can always do something horrific to whomever they were visiting frequently.

>>18998276
And complimentary bodyguard, who is more than willing to CLEAVE AND SMITE any "evil" people he detects approaching his good friend the pony gambler's home/lab/office. And anyone who strikes down /that/ paladin just inherited a bunch of new enemies: the paladin's friends.

>>18998252
>There is space for all of us at the top

Oh I beg to fucking differ, infidel.

>>18998278

>>Adventurers
>>the sick fucks who like stealing prosthetic limbs

Dont choose one

>>18998276
Additionally, you should embezzle some of the hospital funds to fuel your gambling so you can 'confess' your sins to the paladin, just so you wouldn't technically be lying. Detect lies spells are a piece of cake if you know what you are doing.

>>18998248
>>18998291
>gambling
>evil alignment

I know this is just ASKING for thread derailment, but really guys? Generally speaking, the things that get you some CLEAVE AND SMITE to the face are pretty CLEAVE AND SMITE worthy.

>>18998263
Brilliant!
>All you'll need to do is re-arm them.
I smiled aloud.

>>18998297
There's even a flaw you can take in Shadowrun that makes you beg, borrow, or steal to fuel your augmentation habit.

Augmentations such as limbs.

>>18998306

Siphoning money from a not-for-profit organization geared towards helping the most destitute in their times of greatest need for personal pleasure is pretty fucking evil dude.

>>18998316
>Sorry, little Jorge, but I had a good tip about the number four horse in the ninth. Sorry about your sister's liver operation.
... probably one of the most evil acts you can do, financially.

>>18998326

Was this alchemist even in the rest of the thread? What he should have done is entered a horse in the race himself. A horse with twenty legs. Cross bred with a cheetah and with the heart of a whale!

>>18998326
But does this really negate all the supposed good you would be doing? I feel like if you were actually a highly benevolent doctor with a crippling gambling addiction you'd end up as neutral at the worst. Better to invest in some way of juking a Detect Evil spell

>>18998349
Small-time thinking.
Shrink the horse down, make it into a hive mind, develop the Swarm Pony.

You have not seen what speed is until you've seen the wind carrying a thousand horses the size of a human thumb, each one with a unicorn's horn, a dolphin's libido and eight tiny little legs, like our friend the spider.

Just realised who our alchemists are becoming

>>18998358
I feel the best way around this is to never be in the position of facing down a Paladin in the first place, but since we're all so seemingly enamoured with the idea of this clinic there's no way around that I suppose.

I suspect we're going to have a lot of Paladin related problems once there's an outbreak. Then you'll all be wishing we had better seen to our defences.

>>18998358
Hire a vivisectionist to skin a living human with the appropriate alignment, then mindlink their face to your brain. You have them hollowed out like a skin suit, but keep their various organs intact, if reshaped/relocated/both.

To all outward appearances, you have the appropriate alignment, but don't radiate magic. It may be the ambush potential you could use to sucker-punch a paladin in the dong with your Platypus-venom-loaded hand crossbow.

Gambling isn't evil, you guys, no matter what the BoVD says.

It may be STUPID or in contravention of some PRINCIPLES [thus chaotic, if your code is against it], but it's not EVIL.

>>18998358
Good and evil isn't some sliding scale where you can do little evil, then little good next week and stay neutral. It's more like renegade/paragon with the dominating side being your alignment.
>Better to invest in some way of juking a Detect Evil spell
Now that doesn't usually work that way. No-one really thinks themselves as 'evil', so they won't see the need for fooling detect evil spell. Until it's too late, that is.
And even then most would consider it unfair and arbitrary decision of gods instead of a personal failure.

>>18998395

This is true, however siphoning money from a charitable institution probably is

>>18998366
>swarm of eight-legged spider ponies
>horned
>take their victims to rape caves
>we don't need eyes where we're going

>>18998371
>Good news everyone, I have discovered [something nasty but quite useful]

Allofmyyes.jpg

>>18998403
I think we'd realize that those small minded creatins with their outdated moral codes would try and break down our masterful disguises using their so called "Detect Evil" spells, so it is best to invest in some protection. For the advancement of SCIENCE of course.

>>18997281
My first thought.

>>18998421
That image is for Lasik Eye surgery though.

You will be able to see everything in exquisite detail. If you're lucky (like I was) your night vision will get abnormally good and you'll see it in the dim phosphorescence of the Rapecaves.

>>18998429

"Some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monster, with freeway on-ramps for arms and a heart as black as coal... "

Saved for posterity.

>>18998403
Which is why I feel some pre-emptive murder is in order. Some form of crippling illness. Failing that, we direct the growing swarm of badgerat frog hybrids (Frogerats?) into the local tavern or where ever this would-be troublemaker is resting.

>>18998442
>bleach
why?

>This entire fucking thread
I love you glorious bastards more and more every day

>>18998443
STOP
TALKING
NOT
HELPING

>>18998443
>the dim phosphorescence of the Rapecaves.

Majestic, and yet I can't help but wonder if we haven't made a grave error in splicing the dolphin's proficiency for sexual assault into everything we create.

>>18998529
It's a perfect idea that cann never go wrong.

>>18998529
Pfft, naysayer luddites like you are the main obstacle before the progress of SCIENCE. What next, are you going to complain about giving rape swarms wings again? Or +80 innate bonus to escape artist?
I tell you, if we knew what we are doing it wouldn't be called research, would it now?
Now shush and pass me those dolphin parts, please.

Wait, wait, wait.
We can add in magical creatures and aberrations, correct?

We need to splice in the gene sequence for Gelatinous Cubes.

A glorious flying swarm of dissolving rape horses of minute size and honey badger disposition.

>>18998572

Yes marthter

I'll need a few ranks in Theology/Knowledge:Religion so I can slowly have a transhuman cult begin among the homeless I've helped. The Paladins may soon have bigger problems to worry about than my experiments.

This is how I have always played alchemist.
My party was not as thrilled as you would think they would be.

I think this thread is innovative enough that our new Alchemical college and clinic needs a proper name! Any suggestions, fellows?

>>18998580
I also posit that we should get some kind of research going involving Unicorns. The bloody things are powerful arcane beasts, all this nonsense about 'purity' and 'forces of nature' is getting in the way of SCIENCE!

I played mine along two gunslingers for a fantasy train robber crew of Cowgirls.
I was the gnome explosive expert and it was a [spoilersontg] blast [/spoilersontg]

>>18998657
We can REFINE purity! Make it more efficient and effective via the power of SCIENCE!

>>18998623
What is this from, it's like the 4th time I've seen it posted this weekend and I'm genuinely intrigued

St. Y'Golonac's Hospital for Wayward Children, Plague Victims, and Veterans

>>18998687
I have asked myself and I feel like I should know.
It will irk me for ages to come.

>>18998572

>Innate +80 bonus to escape artist

You sick monster.

>>18998695
And here's another, /tg/ can't you provide some fellow fa/tg/uys with names for new reading material?

If we modded the fleshwarper from lord of madness 3.5......
No no no.
.......
Should we?
They only have a mutagen specialist prestige they need one for the other two.

>>18998687
Its from an issue of X-men. The character is Dr. Nemesis, a pulp style character with super intelligence and longevity. In the panel in question, he has a psychic starfish grafted onto his head which displays his inner thoughts to others, much to his rage and embarassment.

>>18998711
That one is Atomic Robo.

>>18998711
>>18998695
That would be from Atomic Robo, and it's a hoot, check it out.

>>18998711
>>18998711
Other than the classic recommendations like Mary Shelley, Lovecraft's Herbert West, Moreau, reading up on Tesla?
If mad surgeon is more your thing, everything from first couple of Dexter books to the likes of BlackJack and Franken Fran could be thoroughly dissected and taken from.

>>18998740
>I saw what you did there.

>>18998723
>>18998729
>>18998733
>>18998740
Thanks elegan/tg/ents, much appreciated

>>18998729
Atomic Robo is awesome.

Did someone say Fran?
I thought I heard someone say Fran.
We talking about Fran in here?

>>18998751
>Dr. Dinosaur is awesome
FTFY

>>18998764
I thought we took away your internet privileges Mr. Dr. Dinosaur?

SOMEONE SAID FRAN I KNOW IT.

>>18998771
Hah! I'm a genius, creating another internet connection was trivial.
I used crystals!

>>18998794
If you're gonna mindlessly go on about it, at least demonstrate why it's worthwhile, man.

pIcture related. Give Fran enough money, and she will turn you and your entire cult into the Flying Spaghetti Monster FOR SCIENCE.

No no sorry about that last one that was over the line.

>>18998740
>>18998762
If you like Franken Fran, you have to check out Leviathan by Eiji Otsuka (of the MPD Psycho fame), it's simply the best in weird science.

>>18998828
Better than BlackJack?

>>18998828
Whoops.
It's about this weird doctor who solves weird crimes with his weird friends. About halfway into the series it really starts to get weird, like Grant Morrison weird.
There's some heavy body horror in there so it might not be up to everyone's tastes, though.

>>18998846
Well depends.
Is it just GROSS LOOK AT THAT stuff or is there plenty of psychological elements like in Fran.
I mean when she...
SPOILERS BITCHES
Turned that one girl into the human dog thing that shit was nightmare fuel not for the grotesque nature of it but the idea of it all.

>>18998657

Dolphin unicorns.

Gang rapey pods of unicorns roaming around the forest unleashed on an unsuspecting elven population.

>>18997976
"Next time I hide something, I'm packing explosives around it. Explosives shaped like silver bananas! Stops thieves, monkeys and monkey thieves in one fell swoop."

This thread better be archived.

>>18998862
It would make sense why they only seek out virgins! Dolphcorns don't want no sloppy seconds!

PF Alchemists are fucked up and borderline Lovecraft material at higher levels, but pic related is how most of my alchemists wind up.

>>18998866
Here's a tip, if you think a thread is worth archiving, then archive it yourself.

>>18998861
I'm not going to lie to you, there are several gross-out scenes, but in general the horror is more cerebral. Usual themes are alienation from society and helplessness.

>>18998926
Sounds worth a read, thanks.

>>18997395
>Make copies of copies of copies of copies of copies of yourself.
YMMV

>>18998961
Wizards already do that with Simulacrum, Telepathic Bond, and Permanency. One high-level antagonist of mine was able to take over an entire solar system because she had several hundred Lv15 duplicates after discovering a planet with a very large diamond deposit.

>>18999010
A god of time did that and sacrificed his divinity so he could spread them across all dimension to keep a watchful eye on things and directly effect outcomes instead of just watch.
They are so much fun.

>Some are vivisectionists, using their anatomical knowledge to deal vicious wounds and using the ability "torturous transformation", which is just... just unsettling, in a "Nazi doctor's fantasy" way. It involves taking an animal and use a 2-hour surgical procedure which involves the repeated injection of alchemical extracts to make it anthropomorphic

Hey, I just finished reading The Island of Dr.Moreau. Sweet.

Alchemists, past, present and future: embrace the true nature of the work.

We are the thugs of science.

Archived for your viewing pleasure.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

While alchemist are based on the mad scientist trope, it doesn't have to be that way. My alchemist s a member of the silver crusade, and a follower of Pharasma. He became an alchemist sou he could fight undead.

>>18997281
No more creepy than a bunch of classes can potentially be.

Like say, any caster.

>>18999272
Get out of here, freak.

>>18999223
>>things quickly degenerate beyond horrible.

tg thread, this is redundant

All that hobo shelter and sewer stuff is climatic and all, but you know what?

You should simply find a more open minded community or a pathron who shares your passion for science. All those pragmatic "evil" races will embrace your soldier and worker augumenting techniques. A baron fascinated by sience but lacking the skills himself might grant you a lab in one of his towers in return asking only for inclusion into your research and maybe a couple requests every now and then.

Hell, even a pirate or brigand king might take you in in return for the awesome mixtures and explosives.

>>19001106
In the MtG novel Bloodlines, disgraced artificer Gatha decides to get out from under Urza's supervision by taking his breeding program to the remote mountains of Keld, where he basically grovels to barbarians to allow him to live amomgst them. They hate his breeding program, but the demigodlike warriors he fosters do not, and within a generation or two, he is effectively lord over the Keldons, risen on the backs of red-magic hulkmen.

>>19001297

The eventual "Dominate all life in Middle Earth" byproduct of science and good craftsmanship is so obvious it's bordering on redundancy, really.

Of course you'll shackle the orcs/drow/cultists/what have you eventually. It's just more convenient that way and they were evil and power hungry to begin with, so I say fuck 'em. At least a group occupied with supplying you with materials for research won't invade any poor farming communities or slaughter unicorns or whatever. That is as long as expendable test subjects can be found at home.

>this entire fucking thread

>>18998875
I'm surprised someone on /tg/ played this besides myself. Anyone play Mana Khemia 2, as well?

>>19002301
Nope.

>>18997667
There was this one year I really wanted that for christmas. About three years later, when I'd all but forgotten it, someone gave that to me with the insect expansion pack. It ended up not being all that awesome game-wise but making different crazy things was fun. Whale mixed with anything has all sorts of fun variants.

>>18997426
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJAoaCHdTJY