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  • File : 1273562388.jpg-(907 KB, 1400x1050, c-Post-Apocalyptic-3.jpg)
    907 KB MINI HAMMER APOCALYPSE ProudOP !E1yyNEjdEc 05/11/10(Tue)03:19 No.9746989  
    ITT: Mini-Hammer shenanigans spread across the world, toy stores and Wargaming shops are going up in flames, Nerf guns suddenly shoot real bullets, and there are scattered reports of furries who were wearing their costumes becoming something...Inhuman.........

    Old thread: >>9737828

    Archive: >http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9737828/
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 05/11/10(Tue)03:27 No.9747119
    >>9746989
    I survived the initial assault from the enemy. The gargant was destroyed but we salvaged enough that the mek thinks he can make another.
    The nurglites are trying to summon a Great Unclean One from the downstairs toilet.
    Haven't seen beak nor beard of the Space Marine/Dwarf alliance. Grey Knights are still in the laundry room.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)03:28 No.9747137
    There are Orks in the house across the street, and the box that I keep my D&D figures in is shaking and...screaming....
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)03:32 No.9747192
    I've abandoned my D&D minis. I threw them out the window. My Street Fighter Collectibles, however... the Akuma...
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)03:50 No.9747464
    The are starting to claw their way out of my gaming case, i can hear them screeching through the foam. I think i might be able to train them to do my bidding if i concentrate hard enough. Though there is a another problem, i dont remember where i put the gene-stealers.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)03:53 No.9747505
    >>9747464
    tyranids*

    man a few hours of starcarft does not help your writing ability.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)03:59 No.9747595
    I...I don't know how it happened...but with the fursuits running amok, I took a chance. I donned the admech cosplay I'd finally finished. gear-ax included.

    Don't know how you get a power field from insulation foam, but it's working beautifully.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)04:01 No.9747619
    Oh god I can't stop anymore... I mean... It was innocent fun.

    I heard the stories about people's miniatures starting to come to life and I was just so lonely... I... I bought a daemonette pack. I even assembled and spent easily over two days painting them. While waiting for the last coat of paint to dry I started to browse.

    Well, I'd been so focused on my knew acquisition that I was a little pent up. So, I started to browse for porn. After I was mid fap that's when I thought I heard a noise. It sounded like a really quiet giggle. Then as I go back to it the next thing I know I feel a pinch on my neck and I feel my body go weak.

    The next time I wake up I'm naked with my crotch a mess of my own cum and there's ten daemonettes lounging about my computer room. Four of them were licking up what seemed like recent cum, while the rest were watching another go through my porn folder.

    It's been four days since then. I've... done things... They're like a devil literally on your shoulder, promises, bargains, and such horrible logic. I was a pretty vanilla guy, monster girl stuff was about as weird as it got for me...

    Now... God I can't even get it up unless it involves toddlercon bestiality.
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 05/11/10(Tue)04:01 No.9747620
    >>9747595
    If that's how it works I'll see if the mek can whip me up a klaw real quick.
    >> Kraito 05/11/10(Tue)04:01 No.9747622
    rolled 7 = 7

    >>9747595
    Maybe there is still hope.
    >> Commissar Internet !!49Ay+6zEbfG 05/11/10(Tue)04:07 No.9747691
    I just went to grab a beer, and I saw my some of my Guardsmen on patrol by the basement steps. Apparently they've taken it upon themselves to deal with the pillbug infestation here. Eventually I'll have to let them into the dank little unfinished room where the pillbugs nest. I'll have to get a lamp set up in there when the time comes.

    One of the Guard officers is trying to befriend my roommate's guinea pigs. So far, the pigs are not sure what to make of the Guardsmen.
    >> Sorain !VReP2N9ezw 05/11/10(Tue)04:14 No.9747782
    Well, this is going grand, the entire worlds supply of minitures and toys are running amuck and all I have on hand is a force of imperials (who fortunately are lead by a sane inquistor whos only needed to vaporise 3 people so far to get his point across) a few Tau, and a pile of necrons that are keeping to themselves (though the ditch next to my house has become an apocaliptic battleground of tyranids and Necrons.) Oddly enough, saving grace has been the battle fleet gothic fleets. Kept the skys clear of anything other then the necrons. Some poor fool across the street had a huge tyranid army, so the gargoles would have overwhelmed me. Think I lucked out, this whole mess hit my location when I was designing ships in Sword of the Stars, and they just assumed I was in charge. Odd getting IM's from my own IP adress, but at least I can talk to them. Tyranid Bio Titan managed to get close, but I had this display fantisy sword on hand...

    Its damn creepy having a sword controling your movements, tugging at your arms. But it fights like some kind of professional, took that damn things head clean off with this odd "snicker-snack" noise. Never thought I would hear that.

    Keeping the Crews morale up with Irresponsible Captin Tylor showings on my computer.

    My friend lucked out though, had piles of magical girl figurnes, so his apartment is probly the safeist place in miles of here. To bad I cant bear to abandon this place. Cought the Inquistor reading my copy of the Imperial Infantrymans Uplifting Primer, and Dark Herisy. Any ideas on what to say when he starts asking questions with an inferno pistol?
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 05/11/10(Tue)04:20 No.9747853
    Mek says he'll make the klaw. The mark on my foot is acting up again though. My nurgle lord told me to embrace it. I don't know if I want to though. I mean what if this ends but I am still infected? Will this infection disappear with them? I don't feel like risking it.

    Still no sign of the beakies and stunties. I'm actually worried now. Grey Knights refuse to leave the laundry room.
    >> Sorain !VReP2N9ezw 05/11/10(Tue)04:24 No.9747906
    >>9747782
    things just got worse, apparently some fool had a costume for The Emperor, and was trying to rally a defense for the entire town. Sounds good right?
    One little snag, someone else had the same idea. Now theres a Green on Green imperial showdown going on, and my house is on the sidelines. Inquistor Akron (so sue me, I named him years ago!) is holding them in check, pointing out that the navy claims there is no astronomicon here, so the emperor can not be so close, their navigators would have sensed it.

    What they have sensed is the Necrons starting to Cadian Gate the ditch next to my house, and now I am stuck trying to figure out if they will even listen to me... Wait a moment, I have a nightbringer that i never fixed around here somewhere...
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 05/11/10(Tue)04:29 No.9747951
    Infection has spread. Nothing left to do now. I embraced it. I no longer feel my right leg and the lack of sensation is slowly spreading.

    Sent the apothecary to seek out the missing space marines and dwarfs. I don't know how I'll recruit the damn Grey Knights now. The enemy has taken to clawing at the door.

    Mek says the klaw will be finished anytime now.
    >> Sorain !VReP2N9ezw 05/11/10(Tue)04:31 No.9747957
    >>9747906
    Well that was an experience...

    I had built and painted up this one Eldar Crusier a while back, purely as a display peice. Had not thought about it earlyer. It just showed up while I was gluing that Nightbringer back together. I didn't realize Eldar could mentally scream that loud. Long story short, that idea is being shelved. Mangaged to get on the IM with my friend with the (apparently now army of) magical girl figures. I dont care how unmanly it is to call for evac from a bunch of 7'' schoolgirls, I am getting the hell out of here. The Necrons are starting to push that psychic dead zone into the first floor of my house, and being in it HURTS. Packing up the good stuff, loading up the troops, and going to get the hell out of dodge in a Sedan escorted by ships of the imperial navy and 7 inch tall magical girls. This is nuts.
    >> Torch !oG7XFT4gl6 05/11/10(Tue)04:34 No.9747988
    Dear god, lucky i have a fire extinguisher in the kitchen, my display cabinet was on fire, Two thousand points of SM, Nids, Orks and IG just animated its a fucking massacre.

    All of my roommates dragon shit is awake too, there's a load trying to nest in the oven, shits fucking crazy. not to mention the dragon themed chess set battling it out, gold or silver who wins?.

    although i have one saving grace none of them know how to fly yet, im not sure how long itll take them though.

    oh and THAT FUCKING SPARTAN, i swear, he's caused more trouble than any of the others, fortunatly he hast found his extra weapons yet, hes confined to just using the shotty and a pistol.
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 05/11/10(Tue)04:40 No.9748052
    I've grown sick and tired of the Grey Knights refusal to move and insulted their honor. They responded just as I hoped by coming out of the room to accept my challenge. I challenged them to slow down the enemy's progress. After much debate and argue it turns out there is a loophole I exploited in the honor challenge. They gathered up in force and prepared for their task.

    The apothecary returned and informed me the missing minis took positions on the roof. They have been up there taking pot shots at the furries since. We have a truce for now.

    The klaw is ready. It is rather light being made of left over tin sheets, but it will work. I see the orks have used what they can to plug the hole in the garage they made. I grab my dad's blow torch and prepare my troops.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)04:41 No.9748063
    I have 5000 points of World Eaters and 2000 points of Chaos Daemons.. Am i in trouble now??
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 05/11/10(Tue)04:42 No.9748072
    >>9748063
    Lord your size over them. Make them follow you.
    >> Torch !oG7XFT4gl6 05/11/10(Tue)04:43 No.9748075
    >>9747988
    oh god, oh god, oh god.

    there's an ominously loud thumping coming from the basement, i had to think for a while to remember what it was, its 4 generations of teddys, everything from wolves, bears, more dragons, dolls. fortunately its locked but im gonna have to figure out how to remove them at somepoint.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)04:47 No.9748121
    I... I wish I had properly assembled that Fantasy Battle starter I got and only played once... a whole bunch of Dwarves and Goblins, their bodies falling apart as they struggle to fight each other... it wasn't pleasant.

    Definitely less frightening than my dresser though, that Blue Dragon has stolen almost every shiny bit in my room, and I can't seem to convince the Eva 01 test unit to go after it (Something about Shinji being completely terrified after the whole Alien Queen incident.) so now every time I reach for anything under my bed I get lightning spat at me, it's a hell of a jolt, even from the thing's tiny size. I was hoping for help from the box of Hero Clix I had laying about, but the only thing they were good for was dealing with the WHFB remnants, the blue dragon snapped them up after Superman refused to pay tribute. Turns out being less than a tenth the size of something makes invulnerability mean jack shit. The Shadowsun Syndicate units I had for Monsterpocalypse did agree to help take care of the cthugrosh in exchange for being granted control of my spare room. Not a bad deal, but I really am afraid of what the ninja bastards are up to in there.

    At least I never got around to starting that Chaos Space marine army.
    >> Commissar Internet !!49Ay+6zEbfG 05/11/10(Tue)04:50 No.9748140
    >>9747782
    >BFG fleet

    Well, looks like I'll have to get those old Space Battleship Yamato minis out after all. I was planning to use them as proxies for a Rogue Trader fleet anyways. Maybe I could get them to escort me places, acting as eyes, ears and defense when I leave the house. The miniature elf I converted into my catfolk burglar seems to have run off somewhere. My 15mm Canadians tell me he left the house. They say he said he'll be back in a few hours with some loot. They told me this as they tried to use the bong. One of them fell in and was spared a watery grave as his base lodged in the bong's ice catcher. I lowered a dental pick down to him, and he's out now. Fuck, I wonder how long these guys are gonna be high for...
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)04:50 No.9748142
    My front courtyard has become a warzone. The white tiles are running red with blood, and the metallic fence and rug have been salvaged. I don´t know how, but somebody´s Orks got wind of my Space Wolves and Imperial Guard, and they´ve been trying to mount WAAAAGH after WAAAAGH against my home.

    Both the Imperial Guard and the Orks have torn apart the fence to make fortresses and other war materials. The Space Wolves have torn the rug in half and taken it to make some kind of... feast hall on top of my kitchen table from which Logan Grimnar rules them all, sitting on a throne made of the aforementioned rug, and porcelain mugs.


    On the plus side, they managed to glue the fucking Whirlwind back together, and they have a feast every time I go down for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Now I don´t feel so ronery.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)04:53 No.9748162
    >>9748063


    wateweaver has awoken an tells me he has promises for me and futures to behold that i couldnt even dream of in my wildest dreams. Isolated him with a warning that I make my own luck and dont need his patron god.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)05:04 No.9748260
    The road outside is a cratered hellscape now. I don't know where different forces came from, but they've been shelling each other for hours now. I think I can see Imperial Guard down there, but the smoke is pretty thick.

    I have two Master-Grade Gundam kits that I've hastily assembled to protect my flat; they're keeping watch on the door. I fear that one of the forces outside will try and storm the building to get a better firing position, but beyond the Zeta Gundam and Gundam F91, I have nothing to defend with, short of crushing the things underfoot.

    It looks bad.
    >> Commissar Internet !!49Ay+6zEbfG 05/11/10(Tue)05:09 No.9748318
         File1273568994.png-(39 KB, 407x405, 1273091152353.png)
    39 KB
    My aunt just sent me a terrified facebook message about the lego waking up. Apparently my old tupperware tub of lego has become a hive of activity.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)05:13 No.9748356
    >>9748318

    A literal hive. All lego blocks share a collective consciousness. They don't seem to be agressive but will defend themselves.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)05:17 No.9748392
    my collection of dragon statues (both eastern and western) are still dogfighting in the lounge room
    thankfully i'm safe up in this end of the house with my raichu to protect me
    >> Commissar Internet !!49Ay+6zEbfG 05/11/10(Tue)05:19 No.9748415
    Alright, now I'm hearing fighting out in the streets. Took a peek out the front door, and I just saw some Guard player's Vendetta's take out a car. O_O Fuckin lascannons, how do they work?

    >>9748356
    For some reason or another, the lego I have here seems to be loyal to me. Of course, they seem to like that they have proper weapons(brickarms M4's and 1911's) as opposed to the generic lego rifle.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)05:22 No.9748439
    >>9748260

    It's gotten worse.

    The Zeta and the F91 are firing into the seething masses of Tyranids swarming up the stairs towards my flat. I have no idea where they came from, but they swept down the road in a hungry tide of miniture death. The armies outside were completely annihilated without putting so much as a dent in the horde.

    I need to escape, but they have the building completely surrounded. I've opened a window, and I reckon I can get out onto the roof......what is that smell? I've smelled it before, in Egypt....
    >> Friendly fa/tg/uy in Japan 05/11/10(Tue)05:22 No.9748440
    My tyranid swarm engaged in battle aginst a flamer heavy sister of battle army. The carnage lit most of my appartment complex on fire and the seraphims are still in pursiut of the Flying hivetyrant and some gargoyles.
    >> Commissar Internet !!49Ay+6zEbfG 05/11/10(Tue)05:29 No.9748513
    Remember that catfolk mini I mentioned? I have no idea how he did it or how he got it back here from the store, but he stole an energy drink for me. Unfortunately, it looks like there's some dogfighting going on in the neighbourhood. I'm pretty sure I just heard a very loud explosion come from Dufferin Mall. The lego infantrymen want to go see what's happening, so I've let them go off to investigate. I gave them directions, and I'm sending some Guardsmen and a Chimera with them. Perhaps they'll be able to come back with new friends.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)05:32 No.9748564
    My legos are doing...something. In my bedroom they have formed a 6 foot tall structure that is changing constantly. A lattice work of blocks connecting, disconnecting, spinning, and moving. There seems to be rules they are following concerning how one block will connect to it's neighbors. I've been writing down my observations but so far it is too complex. Red 2 blocks will always connect to blue 2 blocks unless there is a black 4 block nearby then it will try to join all three.

    I am uncertain what the purpose of it all is.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 05/11/10(Tue)05:34 No.9748587
    Suddenly. My plastic army men that I keep in my room start moving around and start creating base and fortifying my room.
    The Imperial Guard models supply weapons and vehicles to the plastic troops.
    Soviet action figure become officers and control the army.

    Then I go out hunting furry and return to my soldiers everyday~
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)05:37 No.9748623
    >>9748439

    I can't say things have gotten worse. But they have taken a turn into the downright strange, if you accept models coming to life.

    As I clambered onto the roof, I discovered the source of the smell.
    Camels. On my roof. How, I don't quite know. What I do know is that the gentleman wearing a turban with a fez on top was insistant that one of the camels could fly me to safety, and that I should buy it.
    I heard an explosion from within my flat, and decided that I may as well buy the damn camel. But before I could even ask about the price, he was gone, and so were all the other camels. He even left a bag of dates for me.
    So, I clambered onto the camel, and the bloody thing walked off the roof. We didn't fall, it just walked in thin air. I heard another, larger explosion from the flat, and turned to see a huge fireball rising from where it had been. Damn.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 05/11/10(Tue)05:42 No.9748666
    >>9748587
    Also does this work on statue or head bust?
    >> Kraito 05/11/10(Tue)05:52 No.9748753
    rolled 94 = 94

    >>9748666
    Probably. Good thing I decided not to buy that Caligula.

    Also, shut up, Satan.
    >> Kraito 05/11/10(Tue)05:54 No.9748769
    rolled 36 = 36

    >>9748753
    Oh shit... I just realized there's a wax museum about 5 blocks from here. Fuck.
    >> Fuckthewhat? Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)05:55 No.9748772
    Oh god, i knew that gaming group on the second floor would be the end of me one day. I only hope the plastic army men can hold off their never ending onslaught of badly painted necrons until i assemble the rest of those legos. As badly equpped as they are (half of them are reduced to using spears and spare bricks) i am sure quantity over quality will help me here

    I have called my friend from across the road, he is going to fortify my position with his naruto figures, not that it'll help anyway
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 05/11/10(Tue)05:55 No.9748777
    >>9748753
    Awesome~ Now I'm gonna hear Hitler,Stalin and Lenin argue all day.
    >> Kraito 05/11/10(Tue)05:57 No.9748788
    rolled 77 = 77

    >>9748777
    What is it with you and triples S.T.A.L.K.E.R.? Also, this could be a good thing. Einstein, Tesla, Da Vinci, Newton, etc.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)05:57 No.9748790
    i have a tengen toppa gurren lagann figure.
    I wonder how much a new door will cost...
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 05/11/10(Tue)05:58 No.9748798
    >>9748788
    Just my luck~ Now it's over.
    >Einstein, Tesla, Da Vinci, Newton, etc.
    >Tesla
    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHH~
    >> Commissar Internet !!49Ay+6zEbfG 05/11/10(Tue)06:08 No.9748889
    I don't know how my roommate's been keeping asleep through all of this. I had better be able to make it to my dealer's later today. I'm sure he's safe, he's got a bunch of Mordheim minis and some 2nd edition Space Wolves on hand. My Canadians have begun setting up a base camp in the front garden. It looks like most of the fighting in my area is a free-for-all. The minifigs just got back. They couldn't get to the mall, as part of the subway line has collapsed under the sidewalk. I didn't know there were two people with opposing 40k-scale titans living so close to eachother, let alone in the same city. I should probably crash soon, I'll probably be safe.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)06:13 No.9748930
    Incoming transmission...
    Connection established, stand by...

    *blam blam blam*

    Phew, am I glad I've got a space wolves cosplay suit... With bolt pistol and power axe...

    Wait... OH GOD! FURRY!

    *blam blam blam*

    Connection lost.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 05/11/10(Tue)06:14 No.9748936
    rolled 27 = 27

    >>9748930
    Costume effect us too? I thought it was only for furry?
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)06:15 No.9748944
    >>9748936

    Apparently not... But I've got fangs now. Is this bad?
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)06:17 No.9748953
    >>9748944
    Yep.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 05/11/10(Tue)06:17 No.9748958
         File1273573057.png-(97 KB, 681x1329, Joe the Blowout.png)
    97 KB
    >>9748944
    I don't know. But I know what I'll wear.
    >> Space Puppy 05/11/10(Tue)06:19 No.9748971
    DIE FOUL BEING!

    *power sword'd*

    I NEED A RENDEVOUZ GUYS! SAFE HOUSE!

    *RAWR*

    I can feel a power over taking me... No! I SHALL RESIST!
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)06:22 No.9749002
         File1273573364.gif-(481 KB, 400x302, 1269916317049.gif)
    481 KB
    aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
    >> Space Puppy 05/11/10(Tue)06:29 No.9749046
    >>9749002

    *ZING*

    That's 5.

    Wait. More. COME AND GET IT!
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)06:35 No.9749099
    It's happened here, too... the only thing that kept my gundam models from turning my room into a warzone was the fact that I had a Jesus action figure... and that Christianity still exists in the various Gundam timelines. The D&D figurines are not so pleased, but (comparatively) giant robots make good intimidators.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)06:53 No.9749238
    They all laughed at me for buying those gundam models, laughed as I painted and sanded and made them perfect...but now I have power...THIS HAND OF MINE BURNS WITH AN AWESOME POWER! ITS ROARING BURNING GRIP TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU! ROARING BURNING FINGER!!!!
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)07:00 No.9749285
    Wait... Were there any anime conventions happening this week? OH GOD WHAT ABOUT COSPLAYERS?
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)07:02 No.9749303
    its official, the block is now mine...i had dropped a few bucks on the 8inch Cloud Strife figure that came with his bike from the advent children movie. I didnt stop to think about what 5k worth of White Scar would think of that. The neighbors dog will hound my garden no more...he's been turned into battle banners and seat covers.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 05/11/10(Tue)07:05 No.9749325
    >>9749285
    BIG EYES. SMALL MOUTH. BLOB.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)07:08 No.9749337
    >>9749285
    Uh guys... I think I just saw a dude with a tail fly over my house on a cloud.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)11:14 No.9751255
    Found little dudes in green armor burning any orks in the hardware cabinet. They've apparently realized that it would be bad if the orks got their hands on the hacksaws, powersaws, screwdrivers, or other assorted tools. Faster than I was, any way.

    Seem non hostile. I'll have to ask the Guardsmen about them.

    I've put a password lock on my porn computer; I went into the room and found dark and spiky little guys going through my bondage folder. Chased them off, they shot at me. Hurt worse than bees! Got the medic to dig it out, he said it was poisoned.

    That's it. I'm getting a BB gun.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)11:23 No.9751363
    I just saw my box of unfinished Space Marines.

    It contained 30+ figs all missing their arms or heads.

    The box lid used to say "Unfinished", and now it says, "Imperial Space Marine VA Hospital".

    .... those poor bastards ....
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)11:23 No.9751372
    I am now on trial for war crimes, due to my actions taken at a convention 40K game.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)11:25 No.9751392
    Alright, so my 250 points of Khador woke up and started duking it out with my roommate's Legion, and his mercs staying on the sidelines. I've been staying out of the basement to avoid the crossfire, but I think I hear my other roommate's D&D minis (she has well over two hundred) coming to life. My only hope is to dash to the dark corner of the basement where my LARP weapons and armor are stored. Wish me luck...
    >> torch !oG7XFT4gl6 05/11/10(Tue)11:36 No.9751536
    ive managed to recover whats left of my armies, the dragons are still roosting in the oven, fortunately what i can only assume are the king and queen of the brood see my room mate as some kind of god who they are to protect, giver of life or some bullshit anyway.

    sat here with a good number of renegade spacemarines and a mecha-guard army, dont know what to do with them really, theyre so small.

    the mad dok got into my ork bits box, the extra 1k point force my cousin had but never fully painted, now they're painting themselves and building more. im preparing a number of spacemarines to assault the basement, those teddies have put a few dents in the door allready, garden shears, sledgehammers... you name it.

    also any tips from you guys as to how to control nids? they've burrowed through the floor and have probably met their end with the teddiz (conquers bad furday ftw) but they might still be around.

    had some fun though, the 3 dragons my mate has who are now called the oracles have some pretty weird telepathy clairvoyance fortune shit going on, you know the three "hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil" things, basically dragons doing the emotes.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)11:45 No.9751637
    At first, I thought painting myself greenGREENIZBEST wuz... was a good idea. I thought that i cudCOULD WAAAGH control my orkzDA ORKZ DA ORKZ DA ORKZ

    I get bigga everyday. I get greena, meana and orkier everyday. I... I don't think I...

    I'M DA BOSS, WAAAAAAAGH!!!
    >> torch !oG7XFT4gl6 05/11/10(Tue)11:47 No.9751660
    >>9751637
    ohshi
    >> HDA 05/11/10(Tue)13:15 No.9752849
    Right, well maybe putting a box of 200 techpriests next to a crate full of old computers wasn't a good idea. Also, apparently the tau vehicles were in the same box. Techpriests are dissecting them now, and I've given them a bunch of books on physics and engineering to keep them occupied. Tau are still trapped in the closet, but they're starting to take apart my tesla coil and an old microwave, I can see them through the window.

    Still can't find the eldar or necrons, but the Orks have accepted my as warboss, so that's cool.

    Will ask techpriests about automated defenses, some of my neighbor's houses seem to have been invaded by dark eldar.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)13:31 No.9753080
    You guys are wimps. I just stamped a 5000pt Goblin army into the ground, took me about 5 minuites. Shit was so cash.
    >> Commissar Internet !!49Ay+6zEbfG 05/11/10(Tue)13:41 No.9753224
    >>9753080
    That was a diversion, there's probably another 20,000 points waiting to ambush you.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)13:51 No.9753340
    House is secure, thankfully. between my collection of scale tank models and half-dozen 40k vehicles for armies I lost interest in, I've got a good sized armored force. the legos up in the attic aren't bothering anyone, but sweet jesus, there's alot of them. The airbase in the kitchen with the macross models and my minis for airwar seems to be getting bigger- i swear they're finding models I didn't know I had. The necrons in the whiskey box are keeping quiet, so far.

    Front yard's a mess- guess the neighbor kid had a SHITLOAD of little green army men- thankfully, no match for the tanks.

    got some strange noises coming from the closet- oh, god. there's pair of FoW allied armies, a lance of assault mechs, and some full thrust ships in there with a chaos BFG fleet.
    >> Commissar Internet !!49Ay+6zEbfG 05/11/10(Tue)14:15 No.9753633
    Now that its light out, my Guardsmen have occupied the front yard, the 15mm Canadians have the garden, and the lego minifigs are patrolling the neighbourhood. Things at the mall seem to have calmed down, although that isn't necessarily better. I've gotta get my heavy weapon teams assembled if I'm to survive the week. So far the chimera heavy weapons are enough to keep away anything too big. My orks are going through the wreckage of at least three downed model aircraft. Not sure what they're doing yet. I don't have a Mekboy. Yet anyways.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)14:29 No.9753836
    >>9753340

    Opened up the closet, had some 1:144 and 1:72 scale models on standby, just in case. Turns out the mechs, FT ships, and FoW minis gangraped the chaos ships, there's bits everywhere, and some of my clothes are ruined. several big explosions out in town earlier- guess yadkin road and skibo are probably impassable now, given that most of the shopping was on them.

    also: Discovered that paintball markers are very effective against GW mini-based armies. now I'm useful again, yay.
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 05/11/10(Tue)14:34 No.9753904
    >>9748052
    Last night was a fiasco! The enemy burst through the door and attacked much faster than I thought they would. Me and my troops have been forced to flee from my house. I'm heading the local hardware store so my mekboys will have stuff to keep them busy. I at least killed a few of the bastards before being ousted. Also sleeping in a tree is not fun or comfortable.
    >> Space Puppy 05/11/10(Tue)14:40 No.9754013
    *gasp for air*

    Out ran 'em. Running for a couple of hours straight isn't fun.

    Wait. OH GOD. ANIME CONVENTION.

    *loads bolter*
    *goes in*

    What. the. FUCK?

    *entire convention a blood bath*
    *screaming above me*
    *run up a floor*
    *see a guy in Sepiroth costume*

    Oh shit. EAT HOLY BOLT SHELL!

    *BLAM BLAM BLAM*
    *guy goes down*

    Thank god.

    *thunder*

    PRAISE THE EMPEROR! SORRY!

    *clang clang clang*

    Oh fuck. More furfags.
    >> gulup 05/11/10(Tue)14:44 No.9754073
    I... I'm not sure what to think.

    When all this started, the only thing I had to deal with were my dad's old Ancients armies, spread between 15-20mm in size. No magic, no high-tech, biggest things they had were some cannons in the French forces set around the Napoleonic Wars. Otherwise it was all Greek/Roman, Persians, maybe a few Turkish sets and the like.

    Once I managed to convince they that I was not going to squash them provided they left me alone (Took a bit of tranlating on babelfish for the ones that happened before English was all that big a language) I just set them up outside and more or less forgot about them.

    A few days later, I discover that a wandering band of Space Marines has taken it upon themselves to "enlighten" the lot of them. They don't have any Adeptus or proper materials to build weapons, but I have a feeling the longer I try to ignore them, the more that's going to change.

    I wonder if I should negotiate to let them back in... they might be able to help with the band of lizardmen I was never told about that's been running around in here...

    Before that, I think I'm going to melt the chaos arrows pendant I bought a few years ago. Just to be safe...
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)14:52 No.9754227
    I DIDN"T KNOW SKITTLES WERE MINIS!
    OH GODS MY INSIGHFDHGHGDHGSSDsabjudfsvjh
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)14:53 No.9754246
    This is getting a little ridiculous.

    Let's keep it to WH and 40k minis.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)15:01 No.9754382
    >>9754246
    nofunallowed.jpg
    >> Sorain !VReP2N9ezw 05/11/10(Tue)15:03 No.9754412
    >>9747782
    arrrived and posting from my friends house. Its chaos out there, but for all the fighting, we have estabished a parimiter. Inquisitor Akron is giveing me shit for the "alpha plus psychers running rampant" (all those magical girl figurenes) but we have the entire apartment complex secured. Tyranids are a constant issue, along with ork flyboyz. Some guy I never knew in his apartment complex turns out to be a huge fan of the Admech, and his priests are working with all the appliences we can scrape together to make a "Fleet Beacon" they claim will rally Imperial Navy to us, maby even some guard and marines. The Mad Cat he kept on a shelf seems to never run out of ammo. In fact, none of them ever seem to run out of ammo, a blatant violation of the laws of physics. At this point I am convenced that the warp broke through somewhere.

    We need to map the spread, and try to find the source, at least according to the farseer in command of the shadowsun class Cruiser.

    The complex has become a bastion of safety in this mire of conflict. People coming in, bringing their familys. Entire group of LARPers got here last night. I used to bitch about "Drow-fags" but now that theres 3 of them living in the same complex, helping to fend of the worst of the furrys... At least its not as bad as the husband and wife who were in their Sir Integra and Alucard Costumes when the change hit. sure, a fairly safe nights rest is nice, but its damn creepy to watch them slowly slipping, there own personalitys being blended with their roles...
    >> gulup 05/11/10(Tue)15:11 No.9754555
    >>9754073

    Well, good news/bad news.

    Good: The lizardmen are gone, and I didn't even need to bargain with the Marines.

    Bad: They were apparently wiped out by the Evangelion Unit 04 action figure that I have when it broke out of its box... and I don't know where the hell it is now...
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)15:11 No.9754563
    We've made a raid to the nearest GW and wargaming stores. My Marshal, Brother-Captain Stern and I agreed that my Black Templars alone wouldn't be enough to hold the house against a determined offensive. We picked up all the Space Marine and Imperial Guard boxes I could find and pack in the car. Picked up some Sisters of Battle, BFG Imperial Navy models and a grand total of two Titan models, one WarHound and one Warlord too. I hope it'll be enough.

    The process of assembling and painting the models has been left to the Apothecaries at first, then to each army's respective medics. Watching them come to life after seeing them being assembled and painted is... eerie. Watching the TechMarines and TechPriests assemble both vehicles and Imperial Navy ships more so. The process is going rather well and each unit is being assigned to its speciality. Creed, when I saw the box in the store I almost wept in relief, has taken overall command and, after the Titans were assembled, took special care to their positioning in the defence plans. I haven't seen them since.

    Tyranid, Chaos and Necron activity has been detected nearby. It was all going too well anyway. Raven Guard scouts even reported possible Eldar activity, but they cannot confirm it.

    I'm... unsettled by my calm towards all of this.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)15:12 No.9754586
    >>9754555
    well, if everyone turns to tang, we're fucked proper.
    >> Cale !!mpI59fg/DKT 05/11/10(Tue)15:23 No.9754820
    >>9754412
    I wasn't even thinking when I put on the set of armor I just finished. I guess it's my own damn fault for having a character background that involved him being possessed by a demon.

    The boons are nice, though. I haven't had to eat, drink or sleep since I donned the stuff. Any harm I'm taking off of the little bastards on the street is healing quickly, and I've found I've got a knack for generating fires.
    >> Commissar Internet !!49Ay+6zEbfG 05/11/10(Tue)15:23 No.9754829
    Due to some issues with the fridge, there was for the longest time, a HUGE CHUNK OF ICE hanging off the top of the inside of the fridge. Flamer-equipped guardsmen fixed that. FUCK YEAH, NO MORE MELTWATER MIXING IN WITH CHOCOLATE MILK :3
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)15:27 No.9754911
    I've receive confirmation from advanced recon that furry LARPers are in the area. As if the Nids, Chaos and Necrons weren't bad enough. I discussed with Creed the possibility of rallying more Imperial forces to us, but even with a Beacon the amount would be minimal, or cause conflicts in the chain of command. We've yet to run out of assembly parts to create our reinforcements anyway. Creed instead asked the TechPriest to assemble a long range voxcaster, using parts of several old radios, to contact other forces in the area. Creed seemed very amused to find that he was the first to answer his message. Apparently, someone plays 8th Cadian around here. Efforts are coordinating. Their advanced parties and ours should encounter each other in the nearby future.

    In other news, my psykers have reported a light similar to the Astronomicon in the Warp appearing recently. This info was corroborated by my new ally in the neighbourhood. Hopefully, someone's custom model of the Emperor just animated, finally giving this whole mess of Imperial commanders a clear Supreme Commander. If more then one model of the Emperor animates, we might just have the firepower to survive this mess.
    >> gulup 05/11/10(Tue)15:41 No.9755116
    >>9754555

    I've managed to obtain some self-defense equipment. Some old Star Trek toys that I used as part of a Halloween costume years back.

    So now I've got a phaser, tricorder, and a com badge. As of the moment only the phaser is really useful, as I'm still trying to decipher the tricorder's readouts and buttons, and nothing from the com badge other than that little 'beep' when I tap it.

    Checked on the miniatures. Marines have managed to get the ancients to fortify, but still don't have the tools/weapons to convert them to IG or an equivalent. Negotiated a non-interference accord by handing over some food supplies. Still not letting them into the house.

    Still no sign of EVA04, not sure if that's good or bad.
    >> Commissar Internet !!49Ay+6zEbfG 05/11/10(Tue)15:42 No.9755146
    One of my old beanie babies has taken up a 1:6 scale M14 and is sitting outside. He's a pretty good shot, far as beanbag lobsters go.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)15:50 No.9755280
    >>9748623

    Quick update; the explosion took out the Tyranids, and the rest of the building for that matter. I'd written the Gundams off as destroyed in the blast, but they caught up with me, the F91 missing an arm surfing on the Zeta. Glad they made it out (mostly) intact. I've decamped to the University, linking up with the Gaming and Roleplaying society. They've brought everything they can model-wise, and we've been assembling new troops as fast as we can.

    We're holding.
    >> Kraito 05/11/10(Tue)16:01 No.9755483
    rolled 66 = 66

    >>9755280
    Hey guys... I don't really play WH40k, but I have a friend that has a few minis. 3 Tyranids, to be exact. Only 3. My question is, how many 'nids does it take to convert a person into a Hive? I ask because I haven't heard from him in a while.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)16:03 No.9755518
    >>9755483
    Hives a mountain-sized conglomerations of City. Your friend has probably psychically dominated his 'nids
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)16:12 No.9755683
    >>9755483

    Well, if you are wondering if your friend is safe, then do not worry. Three 'nids arent dangerous, so long as he keeps watch on them.
    However, if a larger swarm passes nearby, they may get out-of-control due to their psychic control.
    >> Kraito 05/11/10(Tue)16:14 No.9755719
    rolled 64 = 64

    >>9755683
    Well good. Because he's the one with the safehouse and I don't think I have it in me to shotgun him.
    >> Apprentice 05/11/10(Tue)16:16 No.9755754
    >>9755483
    Hi, boss.

    Those were just the assembled ones. I took one of them apart when the whole thing started. Was about to start on the second one and it bit me. It got tossed against the wall. I can still remember the crunch it made before it dropped to the floor and scuttled off. Resilient little bugger.

    I went to check my bottom drawer a little while ago and all the pieces on the sprues were... rotting I think is an apt term.

    I left the drawer open to let it air out while I checked out the noise coming from my closet. I forgot about all of those old gundam model kits I used to put together. They trust me, I think. They didn't shoot at me at least.

    Hold on... huh, my cats think the nids are mice. They keep killing the little bastards and dropping them all over the house in little piles. I think it's time I haul out that terrarium in the top of the closet and just go around with a rolled up newspaper.
    >> Kraito 05/11/10(Tue)16:21 No.9755866
    rolled 99 = 99

    >>9755754
    Well, at least the cats are making themselves useful. You should probably burn the corpses, since we don't really know much about 'nids. Of course, these guys might be able to educate us on the required precautions.
    >> gulup 05/11/10(Tue)16:33 No.9756076
    >>9755116

    Got the tricorder working... mostly... It probably still has a couple dozen functions I have no clue about, but at least now I can scan for stuff.

    Tried to find EVA04, but lacking any knowledge of how to scan for it specifically (life signs? it's made of plastic! ... right? anyway, no idea what an AT Field would register as) I decided to just go with motion detection. Found some mice that had apparently avoided the lizardmen, but no sign of anything more... weird.

    That's when I caught something moving around a LOT, and very fast. No idea what it was, but I tried hunting it down and cornering it. After about an hour I actually succeeded:

    Ceramic. Bobble-head. Ninja. I let it go on the provision it kept out of my way, and warned me if it saw 04.

    I need a drink...
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)16:41 No.9756232
    In the middle of all this, I couldn't help but think - gee, japan must be a crated wasteland by now.

    The truth is worse. Much, much worse.

    Sure, there were some serious conflicts. Mostly from models from opposing sides waking up next to each other, or when otaku picked sides and started fights. Must of felt like heaven to them.

    But it's formed into something more dangerous. Years of assembling models now come to life, and the power to make more, is starting to give some otaku a bit of a god-complex. They're still a pretty fractured lot, obsessed with their personal collections and starting the literal flame-war at the drop of a hat, but if they ever organize, we could have an even bigger problem on our hands.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)17:12 No.9756802
    Well, I was a bit lucky in that I only had one army, but my huge transformers collection seems to have awoken as well. Autobot and Decepticons, Predacons and Maximals, and even the few Vheicons I have are all at war with each other. The various Decepticon and Predicon toylines seem to be fighting each other, and Masterpiece Megatron seems to have a hard-on for ethnic cleansing. His little band kills anything that doesn't have enough articulation calling them "obsolete". My biggest worry is that when the genocide is over all the Megatrons and Galvatrons will eventually band together and destroy the entire house.

    Oddly, the Autobots seem to have hit it off with my Eldar, and have been keeping the war from screwing with me too badly. Looks like the Eldar give the bots early info and the bots take it from there. How the hell their chain of command works with all those Primes I will never understand. And it appears that Masterpiece Grimlock was my smartest purchase so farr
    >> gulup 05/11/10(Tue)17:28 No.9757079
    >>9756076

    Found 04.

    When going to get myself a beer from the fridge, decided to put a few more bottles in to cool as I was sure that I'd need them sooner or later. So I go to the cabinet where most of the alchohol is stored, and there's the little terror, not moving aside from a few twitches and having apparently finished off half a bottle of Disaronno.

    I'm not even going to try to figure out where all that liquid went.

    But now I have an Evangelion in a drunken stupor, and all I can think of is god help me if it wakes up with a hangover. I've put it in my mini-library room where it's curled up on one of the cushioned chairs with the lights out, but I have no idea what else to do with it.

    Think I'll have that beer now...
    >> Apprentice 05/11/10(Tue)17:42 No.9757328
    >>9757079
    Any sign that it can read? You could write it a note for when it wakes up, leave it an empty glass, and a pitcher of water so the hangover isn't so bad.

    So, ah, the terrarium wasn't such a good idea. Too small. Maybe this was a bad idea too, but I assembled an old above-ground swimming pool I had lying around, emptied a few feet of dirt out of the ground, plunked it in there and poured the dirt into the bottom of the pool before kinda packing it down and pushing grass into it. I took all the nids, living and dead, and dumped them in there one terrarium load at a time. Big damn, hundred and thirty dollar pool demoted to a glorified bug tank. I'm beginning to think I should've just converted the terrarium into a big kill jar, I've got enough ammonia to.

    In any case, they can't cut through the thick walls of the pool. Yet. They started burrowing, but the floor's even thicker and it leads into the clay and gravel layer. I don't think they'll like trying to mine out rocks that are as big as they are. There's also the surprise I left them under there. Cinder blocks and Good Stuff. Now I just have to make sure there's none left in the house and I should be set.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)17:43 No.9757354
    hehehehehehehe my old toy lightsabers are real now.....COME GET ME FURFAGS I WILL SLICE YOU UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)17:49 No.9757481
    >>9746989
    ....Its as i feared....the fursuit fuses with the humans skin and....they...will hunt down humans and rape them or kill them and eat them....
    >> gulup 05/11/10(Tue)17:50 No.9757500
    >>9757328

    Not a bad idea with leaving a note, even though I have no clue if it can read. I only hope that if it can read, it reads english, as I have absolutely no idea how to write/read Japanese. Hypothetically it would, since it was the US-made Eva, but... *shrugs*

    Good luck with the pool.
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 05/11/10(Tue)18:02 No.9757730
    Seems I wasn't the only one who thought about holding out in the hardware store. Another guy with a Warriors of Chaos army is holed up in there. He has a replica Frostmourne. I don't think I'll be safe in there.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)18:06 No.9757799
    Been holed up in my room for the last day and a half. The assorted Gundams are keeping nids, orks and pretty much everything else at bay for now. I keep hearing noises from where I keep the old models that're falling apart, I think that someone's trying to repair them. I don't mind, I could use the extra support.

    The D&D minis seem to have fallen into line. The assorted mages are collaborating on a spell/ritual (depends who you ask) to make them grow to human-size. It seems like the older ones still operate by 3.5 rules(Vancian magic) and the new ones by 4E rules. It's a source of tension, and if I can't figure out a way to defuse it, I may have a literal edition war on my hands.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)18:06 No.9757804
    >>9757730
    oh shit a rl death knight run man run!
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)18:10 No.9757868
    Oh god, I'm so sorry I played chaos
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)18:12 No.9757897
    >read the original thread on /suptg/ last night
    >make a post in this one, go to bed
    >wake up, go back on /tg/ about 11 hours after my post
    >thread's still going
    >you rock, /tg/.
    >> Apprentice 05/11/10(Tue)18:19 No.9758008
    Okay, guys, the pool isn't the problem anymore. My bottom drawer is some kind of spawning thing now. The pieces that were rotting kinda puddled up and it's been spawning nids.

    My cats have been killing the little buggers well enough, but one just limped up carrying something a little bigger. What's that one nid that tunnels and looks like a giant snake? Red Terror? Looks like it failed its save because this fucker is deader than shit. I decided to just say fuck it, dumped the whole drawer out into the yard and sat the grill's propane tank on top of its contents.

    I was looking for something to set it off with when it just went up. I completely forgot about the gundams roaming around. They like the cats because, apparently one of the little fuzzballs saved one of their metal hides. Explains the burn marks and chunks of burned flesh knocked out of some of the dead ones I've been dumping into the pool...

    I need another plan, they're starting to run out of room in the pool, and dropping the mobile suits in there willy-nilly seems like it might end poorly.
    >> Kraito 05/11/10(Tue)18:33 No.9758191
    rolled 100 = 100

    >>9758008
    Siphon the gas out of your car and light the whole shebang on fire. Add some sticks and leaves (you have plenty) to keep it going.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)18:43 No.9758360
         File1273617782.jpg-(4 KB, 126x108, 1266374813067s.jpg)
    4 KB
    Earlier today when things started to come alive I thought I was screwed. It wasn't because of my own miniature collection truth be told I only have around 60 termagaunts and they are pretty easily caged. It was because 3 of the 5 rooms nearby have extensive chaos collections. As early as nine am I could hear tiny cries of blood for the blood god in the hall. For a while I foolishly thought I would be safe if I just stayed in my room and kept my door locked. But that turned out to be a bust because the little mofos somehow managed to crawl underneath my door. Nothing is quite so alarming as having nurgling drop into your cerial. So there I am sitting at my table feeding my gaunts biomass, or in this case a muffin, after hurriedly taping the edges of the door when and tossing all the nurglings I could find down the disposal, pondering what I am going to do, when I hear this terrified shout coming from what sounds like a really low quality speaker. So I turn around and what do I find, I find that my gundam models and revoltech figures had been animated. It was then I saw the answer to all my problems.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)18:48 No.9758444
    umm, guys? my lego has been acting up. I tried talking to it, but if there's a mind in there, it either can't or won't respond.

    It just keeps building, tearing down and re-building these strange shapes, and it's been experimenting with adding non-lego materials to the construction. It hasn't actually tried to hurt me or anything, but I'm wondering if I should do anything about it.
    >> Kraito 05/11/10(Tue)18:52 No.9758529
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>9758444
    Run. It's trying to break reality. How can you not tell. Pretty soon you'll be seeing imposible figures and distortions... It's best to leave while the laws of physics are still holding.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)18:54 No.9758569
         File1273618460.jpg-(41 KB, 680x869, 1268833178873.jpg)
    41 KB
    >>9758360
    So after a thirty minute meeting with the assorted gundam pilots, robotech pilots and the gurren lagann we came to the conclusion that the entirety of the dorms of needed to be swept clear of hostiles if we were going to have any chance of resting of easy or surviving this. Somehow during this conference Yotsuba who I had totally forgotten about had somehow managed to get into the box o' gaunts, and to my amazement had somehow managed to get the gaunts to follow her around like ducklings. So there I about ohholyshitItotallyforgot something important.

    I gotta hurry this up, I just remembered I left the lid of my game of Zombies!!! last night, and the last thing we need right now is a zombie outbreak. Ok so long story short, my floor of the dorms is cleared and we have established communication with a couple IG player rooms.

    Oh shit I think I see a shambler on my floor.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)18:56 No.9758591
    wow /tg/ this is full of win
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)19:07 No.9758800
         File1273619230.jpg-(1.62 MB, 2955x2410, 1273168101078.jpg)
    1.62 MB
    /tg/ keep on being amazing. I skipped this kind of thread yesterday thinking it was something silly, but after reading the archive and this I'm amazed and giggling.

    As for me, I should probably put together the Marines and Orks I have sitting around and keep a look out for the legos my brother owned as a kid along with the various plastic army men. I'll probably let my brother head up the orks while I control the marines. Speaking of Orks.. I think I have that Orc Warboss or something that came with the CE of WAR.. I don't think I'll have to deal with any hostiles any time soon in my remote area I live in but grabbing some AdMech's is probably a good idea with all the crap this town has sitting around waiting to be put to use.
    >> skoolfag 05/11/10(Tue)19:07 No.9758801
    I haven't slept for three days.

    It started off with some loud rattling and thumping coming from the bonus room, because that's where me and my brother keep our D&D figures.

    All four tackleboxes of them.

    Long story short, it took the better part of two days for the fighting to die down ,and most of my house is a charred wreck, since on day two all of my LEGOs animated and joined the fray. I regret ever building those custom Bionicles covered in guns.

    It's been wild keeping things under control- each of the D&D figs has split off into groups roughly according to alignment, and has fortified a sector the bonus room, turning it into a scarred battleground. I'm simply glad I don't play 40K...
    >> Apprentice 05/11/10(Tue)19:21 No.9759026
    >>9758191
    Okay, with no better ideas coming in from the pilots, they just want to be dropped in there to run amok and seem incapable of understanding the scale difference(No, three feet for me, not for you, maybe six times the size of your mobile suit. No, I'm not kidding. Quit laughing.), I went and got the gas tank from the shed because I might need the car, but the pool is slightly more expendable.

    I dug a big pit in the middle(imagine digging a hole and splitting an earthworm in half, the earthworm is a screaming tyranid, about a dozen times per chop) while they swarmed up my legs. Got the pit dug to the bottom of the pool, filled it in with gas, charcoal, leaves, timber, newspaper and then filled it the rest of the way up with tree limbs... before I realized that I now can't reach the gasoline and the nids are climbing up the wood.

    Fuck. I send for the bottle of rubbing alcohol. Gets there just as the first volley of laser fire is required. Stream of flaming alcohol right into the middle of the bonfire in the making.

    The cost? One pool, five gallons of gasoline, a bag of charcoal... and most of my hair. I put it out before it burned down to my scalp, though, so it'll grow back.
    >> skoolfag 05/11/10(Tue)19:23 No.9759059
    >>9758801
    As of right now, The LEGO figurines are building up some giant figure out of all my Technic parts. I'm sorta scared because they gave it a giant sword for an arm. of course, I have more pressing matters.

    You see, you guys, I do some online RP, and, for a lark, I Greenstuffed up some figs to mimic my characters. Now, you might think this isn't a big deal, but I have a bad habit of making really, really strong characters....

    One of them can warp space/time. And he's a real prick.

    What do I do when he animates, /tg/? WHAT DO?????
    >> Apprentice 05/11/10(Tue)19:26 No.9759104
    >>9759059
    >when
    Break him before he does, that's what.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)19:31 No.9759211
    >>9759104
    This. If you have any hopes of surviving or keeping us all alive, do this NOW.
    >> gulup 05/11/10(Tue)19:35 No.9759269
    >>9757500

    Lovely... I have a small infestation of Techpriests.

    Or rather, "had."

    I go to my computer to check up on how the rest of civilization has been faring, and find that there a little less than half a dozen robed cyborgs fiddling with the CPU.

    I immediately sweep them all away, getting a few las/bolt/power-whatever wounds for the trouble before I just squash one with a toolbox. That seemed to cow them enough that I was able to round them all up and bring them outside. Dumped them onto the fortified base camp and told the Marines the priests were their responsibility now, and that "If I see them messing with my stuff again, by your Emperor I will raze you all to the ground!"

    Despite returning a fair number of vague threats themselves (I think just for appearances. I have no idea what chapter they are, but so long as they aren't Angry Marines, or likely to raise a crusade against me anyway, I don't care), the Marines actually seemed happy to see the techpriests.

    The computer seems fine. It still worked after I put the casing back on, but most of my games and non-program files have been deleted. Bastards. It seems to be making weird noises every now and then, but I can't figure out why yet.

    04 still hasn't woken up, or at least if it has it just went right back to 'sleep.' Just another problem to deal with, but at least I don't have to deal with it right now.
    >> Iron Lung 05/11/10(Tue)20:06 No.9759769
    It's me and Alita.
    Sorry, Alita and I.
    Fuck. Gotta stay on the minutaie.
    Keep away from the blood.
    Tell the story.
    Ok. Deep breath.
    Alita's watching me.

    The...event, I guess occurs. A broad TV shelf of latex 8" fighting girls animates. Cammy, Kasumi from DoA, Chun-Li, Ayane, Mai Shiranui, Rachel and a few others. It's cool, more or less at first. Lots of musical babbling and surprised noises. Some titty grabbing.
    Jiggle, endless jiggle.
    Micro-jiggle, but somehow intoxicating anyway.

    Without turning my head, I can see Kasumi's right foot. Cute little blue ninja shoe, and all. White stockings with a tide-line of arterial red soaking in.
    Fuck. Fuuuuuuuu-
    FOCUS.

    It's cute at first, there are some spats, some bruises.
    Chun-Li's great. She's bilingual, which is abruptly helpful. She's got "cop sense", she's putting out fires, separating rivals.
    Cammy's liasing to my little box of SM's. They're listening to her, after a fashion.
    I've worked out that nothing's got a frame of reference, and while for most of them it's disorienting for the 40K minis it's especially jarring. They're zealots in a universe without a cause.
    And fuck me running, the highest ranking figure is...the Chaplin. And of course, the Chaplin shoots Rachel.

    I'm working out factions and alliances to establish some kind of order -Chun-Li's still being awesome, tirelessly turning tween moonspeak into coherent conversation, when there's this basso 'pop' and one of Rachel's lovely leather-clad legs spirals away from her body.
    There's a deadly silence. My eye catches the thick pasta-sauce trail as she hauls herself into cover like a trooper.
    Screaming starts. High-pitched, horrified, feminine terror.
    And worse "FOR THE EMPEROR, CLEANSE THE IMPURE!"
    Pop-popopopopopopopopop-ZASH!
    The Land-Raider chugs out from behind the door and lets fly, puncturing Rachel's cover.
    I see her hammer slide into view, one of her charred hands on it's haft.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)20:16 No.9759937
    Thank god I live out in the country. From what little I hear, every major population center's been overrun by now. Any place with a Toys R' Us, an FLGS or, god forbid, a Wal Mart, is right proper fucked at the moment.

    Anyway. 'My childhood is my salvation,' I suppose. I've got a mega-blocks carrier in a kiddy pool behind the house, running round-the-clock air patrols. Those little missiles are smaller than a toothpick, but they pack a hell of a punch. Most of the time they're supporting the 'Mech detachments hunting feral Orks in the underbrush. I can smell the napalm every morning.

    My legos are putting themselves to good use. There's some sort of extraction operation in the basement, churning out minifigs, tanks, building materials, everything. Most of them recognize me as 'friendly', but damned if I have any chance of commanding them. I don't even go down there anymore, not since I cut my arm on one of those weird-ass spires. My blood hardens into plastic now.

    I really wish I'd wake up.
    >> Kraito 05/11/10(Tue)20:22 No.9760024
    rolled 48 = 48

    >>9759937
    Well if wishes were horses... we'd have all been trampled to death centuries ago.
    >> Iron Lung 05/11/10(Tue)20:23 No.9760035
    >>9759769
    Shits goes sideways all over the place.
    The ninjas charge, little phosphorescent streaks with gleaming tips.
    There's a noise like a zillion little zippers being zipped open and shut at really high speeds, and the....

    Stop.
    Vicodin's wearing off. FUCK CHRIST my hand
    Fucking Predator.
    Alita's got pills, one under each arm.
    She's cool about it. And I mean distant, passive.
    I get the message.
    She can hear the war outside.
    She think I'll be a liability.

    Well, anime gets fucked in the ass, to be crude about it.
    It's the work of minutes for the marines, and there's rent, split-open nubile young things soaking the floorboards.
    I've got a couple of small but deep burns on my legs -lascannons probably. I've been driving the assault marines back with a butcher's knife -they're quick, but not too agile once they actually hit me. Fucking chainblades are like serrated scratches. They sting BAD, and keep weeping drainage.

    Alita's been missing this whole time.

    By chance I find the last dart for my nerf, well not anymore, Magnum-6. Slip the dart in, slap the cylinder shut, front sight on the Land Raider.

    For a second, the battle brother in the cupola and I look right at each other.

    The LR turns, diesel engine v'roooming, smearing the last tattered remains of poor Mai with it's treads, and we shoot each other simultaneously.

    I can't really say it missed, but I didn't die.

    I've got a titanic blister-streak from the multi-melta. Looks like someone was building a row of 70's style bubble-buildings all down my right leg.

    But I didn't miss either.
    Hit the fucker dead center mass, TOP ARMOR.
    BOOM, got the MM and the power plant in one round.
    MBT reality: top armor's thinnest, still.
    Fuck the IoM.

    Problem is, and some distant part of me is grateful for thumbs because thumbs can type, the Predator was shooting, too.

    Two.
    Two.
    Two little stick-nubs on my left hand.
    One was a pointer, one used to say "fuck you!"
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)20:24 No.9760052
    Too many cooks spoil the soup
    >> Iron Lung 05/11/10(Tue)20:27 No.9760125
    >>9760035
    Pills.
    Pills good.
    Lita gone.

    Must sleep.
    Bed's.....beds squishy. Someonescrying.
    Getting dark, ink spreading inmyeyes
    Nariko. nariko made it.
    'sgood.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)20:30 No.9760177
    I'm curled up in a corner, a shotglass half-full of beer sitting next to me. I'm glad that I'm not the only one living this kind of nightmare.

    There are glowing bullets all over my room. I knew it was a bad idea to buy those goddamn Touhou figures online, but I was so into the games at the moment.

    They're just flying around, shooting glowing shit at each other constantly, I'm not sure where the shotglass came from but they seem to have been fighting over it originally.

    Fuck, I just remembered I had a Dalek figure laying around. Fuck fuck fuck.
    >> gulup 05/11/10(Tue)20:49 No.9760543
    >>9759269

    04 woke up. Actually seems pretty docile, after it dunked its head into the glass of water.

    It looked at the note I wrote (a basic "please don't go on a berserk, drunken rampage" only worded better) but hasn't directly replied, at least as far as talking or writing back.

    Instead, in one panic-filled (for me) moment it just jumped at me and climbed up to my shoulder. Now it's just sort of alternately hanging off my shirt or sitting on my shoulder, which is really unnerving but it doesn't seem to be interested in anything other than following me around at the moment.

    Now that I think of it, I'm a bit surprised that it actually CAN grab on to the shirt. Originally it had interchangeable hands to allow it to grip different weapons or whatever (a handgun, rifle, shield, and a pair of tonfa. no idea where those went...) but now the ones it has just flex and open/close like a fully-articulated hand.

    So things are overall pretty quiet. The miniatures are behaving themselves, 04 is pretending to be a parrot, and I haven't seen bobble-ninja for a while. I may try heading to the closer stores in town to try to pick up food and stuff.

    I fully expect to end up horribly traumatized, but I have a phaser and no respect for the Prime Directive. I might actually make it out alive. Guess I'll find out soon enough.
    >> skoolfag 05/11/10(Tue)21:19 No.9761190
    >>9759059

    I think I can make one more post before I have to get out...

    I got to The Baron in time and smashed him with a ball-peen hammer. I wasn't so lucky with the others.

    There was the hardened marine armed to the teeth with instant-kill weapons.

    There was the psychic assassin.

    There was the shapeshifting... thing... that was supposed to be a BBEG in some campaign...

    And they all turned out evil. I'm sure that reflects badly on me in some way, but that's for later. The LEGO army that's self assembled has taken massive casualties without damaging them in one bit. The giant LEGO... thing... is currently engaged in a King-Kong vs. biplanes battle with them, and I prey it can keep them occupied for long enough.

    I rigged the gas heater and oil tank in the basement to blow. I hope that's enough.

    Now, I'm headed out, armed with the few Nerf guns I managed to save from my closet before my Psycho Mantis expy set it on fire. I got a text from a friend who has a pretty bad Chaos problem...
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 05/11/10(Tue)21:24 No.9761290
    rolled 21 = 21

    Since my last post I have befriended the guy with Frostmourne, constructed defenses, killed furry scum and found out we were the only "sane" people in town who aren't dead. Tonight is gonna be fun when the pack comes back. With the blow torch and some parts in the store the mekboyz and big mek helped me make a flamethrower of sorts. I don't plan on sleeping.
    >> Apprentice 05/11/10(Tue)21:36 No.9761514
    Right. Okay. The kroot. Almost forgot about them.

    Now, I don't own kroot, technically, I had two tau figures. I found husks of armor in the drawer we blew up. OW! Okay, shit, the drawer that the Tallgeese II blew up. I was able to kinda salvage the pieces of the attack drones that came with them. I gave them to the pilots of the Mercurius and the Vayeate. They hooked them up to their mobile suits and now they have drones.

    Anyway, about the kroot. I guess someone nearby plays them, because they just kinda wandered up near the beginning of this whole thing. I managed to convince one of them to talk to me again and got it squared away. I guess they're on my side again now.

    So, with that, I had to deal with the pokémon figures my neighbors' spawn left here. They were hiding under my bed and holding the line against the nids that spawned, but just barely. I found a few old pokéballs from a long time ago that work better than anticipated. Catch, call out, full-sized.

    Now, since I shoebox'd the Tallgeese II for shooting me with his cannon, I need to go see if there were slugs behind the shots and dig the things out. Might as well change the bandages on the injuries from the nids too.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)22:27 No.9762673
         File1273631241.jpg-(98 KB, 497x501, 1273297619083.jpg)
    98 KB
    >this thread
    >> Sauber !f1v85QnTcU 05/11/10(Tue)22:33 No.9762813
    >Nerf guns suddenly shoot real bullets
    I become an arms dealer.
    my guns will shoot through ten fucking brick walls and the projectiles will go so fast that the air around them catches fire.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/10(Tue)22:34 No.9762832
    New thread is here. I think.

    >>9761456



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