>>18111646
"I need to make a potion... It'll fix me right up. You don't need to worry."

You open your eyes to the sun shining in through a window far to your left.
An unfamiliar ceiling stares down at you.
To your right, a chair occupied by someone you don’t recognize.
You pull a lightly bandaged arm out from under the sheets and reach up to your head, you feel bandages there as well. You try to get up but it seemed like your body just weighed a tone at that moment.
The rustlings of your movements fills the room.
“Are you alright now?” The woman, now standing by your bed in a maid's uniform, asks you.
”Where’s Erica? Ursula?” you look around confused. “Where is this?”


”I think you’re still a little loopy from the medication.” The maid says as she dabs your forehead with a piece of cloth. “You took quite a bad hit from that car. The doctor says it was only your stubbornness that kept you alive.”
You have no idea who she is, or where you are. You also have even less idea what she was talking about.
”I need to get back to the castle, they’re waiting for me.” You tell her.
You try and reach out with your mind.
”Kraus? Hey Kraus?” but there is only silence.
”Hush” she says as she gently pushes you back down into bed. “Just rest some more for now.”

>>18111744

>>18111744
Oh shit. Get out of bed. Assume that this is the nightmare, don't assume the previous was a dream. Get out of bed and try to make a potion. Even without Kraus or the girls, if you can make a potion, it proves you're still in the same world. If you can't, assume it's a dream.

Get out of bed.

>>18111744
If thats how it is then lets go get hit by another car

jump out of the nearest window that will wake us up!

It was afternoon when you woke up again. The open window letting in a welcome breeze.
You look around; hoping to find a familiar face, but the room is deserted.

There are still bandages on your arms and head, but your body seems like its much lighter now. You sit up and observe your surroundings.
You are interred in a large well decorated room. Expensive looking pieces of furniture are situated around it in modest elegance.
You are lying in a plush bed, covers of silk and cotton.
To your left a large window framed by elegant curtains lays open to catch the wind.
A door in the far right corner seems to connect to a hallway outside.

You need to find them, you think to yourself. You need to get back to the castle.
You need to get back to your twins.
You stand up on unsteady feet and plod to the door. The pajamas you are wearing swaying with each step.
The farther you got from the bed, the steadier your steps become.


You reach the door and open it. You find yourself in a wide hallway, busts of people you don’t recognize and paintings unfamiliar to you line it on both sides.
Beneath your bare feet the cold touch of marble.

[ ]left
[ ]right

>>18111809
>>18111839
Don't go doing that. We might be kidnapped. We need to see whether we're unconscious or kidnapped before we do anything.

>>18111848

left.

>>18111848
right

>>18111848
>[✓]left

Let's try to find some liquid. Make a potion to heal ourselves. If we succeed, we're kidnapped, and need to escape. If we don't, we're unconscious, and need to wake up.

You go left. Your steps echo though he seemingly endless halls, the sound punctuated by your ragged breathing.
You walk on.

Every few minutes you stop walking and reach out with your mind. Trying to find anyone that would hear you. ‘Kraus? J? Erica? Ursula? Where are you guys?’
You walk on.

>>18111887
Try to find a bathroom, a kitchen, anywhere with liquids.

Eventually you find a kitchen. There in a corner you spy the refrigerator, a modern block of aluminum and chrome.
To one wall lays the stove, onto of it a pot with something simmering inside.
And at the small table in the room sat that maid. She was peeling potatoes skillfully with a small knife when you stumbled inside.

”Hey! You shouldn’t be walking around!” she says as she helps you get to a chair, the concern evident on her face.
”Who are you? Where am I? Where are my friends?” you ask her as quickly as the hoarse words could come out of your mouth.

”I’m Maria. This is my mistress’ mansion. You were alone when we picked you up.” The maid answers you with eyes filled with worry.
”You should be back in bed.” She pushes you firmly down into the chair when you make a move to stand. “Just stay there. Don’t worry; I’ll make sure you’ll be alright…”

>>18111938
"I need a glass of water."

Can we even make potions without Kraus? Are we in our home dimension? Was the majaik just a dream? Why do cartoon announcers always end the episode with questions?

”…alright now?” Erica asks you.
”Yeah.” You answer her with a small lie; your head actually hurts like a bitch.
”Sorry I messed that up.” You tell her as you sit up.
”No, I should’ve been flying with you.” She answers, “If I was, I could have caught you.”
”How’s Ursula?” you ask her
”She was watching over you until she exhausted herself.”
”And Kraus?”
”He’s right here.” And she hands you your badge.
”Hey buddy.”
”You should lie back down. You’re injuries aren’t fully healed yet.” He says.
”No man, I’m okay now.”
”Your body scan says no. You still have a concussion and a hairline fracture in your skull.” He berates you in a more soothing manner than usual, “lay back down before I have Miss Hartmann here make you.”
You do as he says and Erica pulls the sheets over you again.

>>18111938

we've been kidnapped find a knife take hostages.

>>18111959
"Bring me a glass of water. Something to stir it. I can make a potion..."

On the other bed Ursula stirs. “is Hayate up already?” she asks her sister.
”hey there.” You call out to her.
She quickly makes it across to you and burries hear face in your chest.
”I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry.” She says over and over.
You wrap an arm around her. “It’s okay. I’m okay. Just go back to sleep for now and we’ll talk later.” You inch over a little in the bed to let her lie down beside you.
Ursula, far more exhausted than she thinks she is finally falls back to sleep after sobbing quietly for another minute or so.

Erica pulls up a chair to sit by your bed and reaches out to hold your free hand.
”Hey…”
[ ]how’s the striker?
[ ]how are you?
[ ]how did i get here?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
>okay im off to work.
>i jsut wanted to post this stuff i typed out earlier.
>thread resumes at about an hour

>>18111959

oh thank god.

this
.>>18111981

Oh.

Shit.

Hayate's conscious is bouncing between where he should be in the Canon and where he actually is.

Better not let any Editors find us.

'where are we?'

>>18111994
"Get me a cup of tea and a spoon from Kraus, please. I can make a healing potion. I just need liquid and an agitator..."

>>18111994
>[x] ]how are you?

Also. Don't we have a potion of healing?

rolled 44 = 44

>>18111994
[x]How are you?

Do we want to bring up how surprised, and happy, Hayate is that for the first time in his life, someone actually stayed by his bedside when he was injured?

Tea.

rolled 52 = 52

bumping.

<I think i have about everything right on this thing

>>18111994
>>18112016

Well shit, I hope the G-Man doesn't run into us right now.

Actually that would be amusing, but terrifying on a game-level.

>>18111994
[1]how are you?
[2]how did i get here?

”How are you holding up?” you ask her
“I’m fine. But I still can’t forgive myself for not being up there with you.”
”No, stop that. I made the decision to try that prototype out. The two of you shouldn’t blame yourselves.” You tell her as you squeeze her hand tighter, she smiles in return.

”How did you get me here?”
”One of the fly-boys was just outside the hangar when you crashed.”
”We didn’t move you since you had a head injury. So he ran to get Yoshika. She did some of her sparkly shit to heal you well enough to be movable. And that’s when we took you here to the infirmary.”
”Yoshika should be around again in a bit to check up on you. You should just wait for her and have her heal you up fully.”

>>18113095
"Are you sure? I could whip up a potion. I've been studying alchemy lately and... I would rather fix my head now than later. I have a splitting headache."

Emphasize 'splitting' to make light of the skull fracture.

"Well, there went the pleasant evening I wanted to give you two, my angels."

”Hey. How’s the striker unit?”
”Oh. It’s a wreck. We didn’t have time earlier to check it out, but one look told me it was fucked up good.” She replies.
’I have to apologize to Ursula for that’ you think.
”Don’t worry about it though. Ursula can fix it back up with some ducttape, paperclips and a banana.” She grins “Unless she blows up the banana, ofcourse.”

[ ]rest
[ ]potion
[ ]other?

rolled 47 = 47

>>18113162
[x]potion

Our teacher does say that experience is the best, after all.

>>18113162
This:
>>18113128

>>18113162
Potion, were alchemists. Us the memory of crashing (i assume 1hour-1day ago)

>>18113247
It can't be a memory of pain - that creates a potion of harm. It has to be a memory of healing, metaphorical or otherwise.

>>18113272
Oooo then crying like a bitch after the massage. That has to be a good one.

>>18113272
Does Hayate even have such memories?

>>18113300
Pre-nagi? Hell no.

>>18113296
Oh, that is a good one. A potion of "Crying Out the Hurt." It will probably make a potion which will make us weep like babies even as our bones knit and bruises fade.

>[x]potion
"You know I have some potion in my bag. I'd rather heal this now than wait for later. U have this SPLITTING headache."
She throws a weak punch at your shoulder.
"Dick." she says.

Unable to move much with Ursula sleeping in your arms, you ask Erica to fetch your flask from your portfolio.

She manages to retrieve your flask and hands it to you.
You twist the cap off and prepare it to pour the healing potion bby visualizing the liquid clearly in your mind.
‘Don’t want to drink REBOUNDER now, do I?’

You tip your head back to drink and raise the flask up to your mouth.

”NOO! NO DRINKING! You're still injured!" someone says from the door.

>>18113343
DRAIN IT FAST! CHUG CHUG CHUG!

>>18113343
Health potion. A butler does not drink, besides I'm underaged!

rolled 20 = 20

>>18113343
..and it will be too late, and the potion will have already entered our mouth.

>>18113343
"Don't worry, it's not alcohol."

Miyafuji quickly snatches your flask out of your hand.
”You’re just as bad as those guys. Always drinking. Even when told not to.” She gives you a stern frown, as she screw the cap back on the flask.

”Uh, that wasn’t alcohol…” you tell her.
”It looks like it is to me.” She says.

”Yoshika, he was trying to drink a potion.” Erica clarifies.
”Oh… Well, you don’t need to anymore. I’m here to fix you up.”

[ ]potion
[ ]MEEYAFOOGEE

>>18113459
[X] Both at the same time.

rolled 4 = 4

>>18113459
Eh, if she's here, might as well.
[x] Miyafuji

>>18113459
>[✓] MEEYAFOOGEE
"Pbbb fine..."

>>18113459
Drink miyafuji, Rub potion on our head

>>18113459
[x] potion
We haven't got to try it out on a proper injury yet and meeyafoojey can always check us afterwards.

rolled 97 = 97

>>18113459

[x] Miyafuji

"Ahaha, well then, I'm in your care."

rolled 23 = 23

>>18113459

[x] miyafuji

>>18113494
"But how am I supposed to drink Miyafuji? Wait don't tell me, let me imagine it." We can blame it on the morphine.

>>18113459
[X] MEEYAFOOGEE

Use the memory of getting Majaikally healed by her for better healing potions later.

’Might as well see her healing magic.’ You tell yourself.
”Okay, okay.” You say as she places your flask on the small desk by your bed.
”Do anything you want, but please be gentle” she blushes at the last line.

Erica stands off to one side as Miyafuji does her shit. Like most Magaik you’ve seen up to this point, there was a lot of glowing and sparkles.

”All done.” She says a few moments later. Her animal ears and tail disappearing.
”I don’t recommend moving much though. You still need the rest.”

”Thanks.” You tell her.
”No problem.” She says as she walks out of the door.

>>18113652
"Now, would you mind handing me my flask back, just to make sure? Then, I... I would rather like to hold both of my angels. I had a terrible nightmare."

rolled 28 = 28

>>18113652
"Hey, Kraus, what's my bio-scan look like?"

"I'm really sorry for having made you and Ursula worry, Erica. First day of vacation and I'm already causing trouble for you two."

>>18113673
Nightmare or vision of the future.

>>18113725
Or parallel timeline. Nightmare regardless.

You spend about half an hour in comfortable silence with the girls.
Erica back at her place sitting by the bed and holding your hand, Ursula still fast asleep cluthcing your shirt.

It was ended by Trude walking into the room.
"Erica, you need to get Ursula up and prepare for another meeting." she says.
"AGAIN?" your angel asks. "Did'nt they grill us enough yesterday?"
"Apparently not," she replies with a sigh. "More bigwigs flew in this morning demanding more information on our Bureau experience so far."
"Can't you do it by yourself?"
"No." Trude answers her. "they need your insight on the operational side of things, and Ursula's notes on the technological side."
She pulls Erica up and gently shakes Ursula awake. "Come on you two, you can get back to him as soon as we're done."
Ursula opens her eyes sleepily, and grips your shirt tighter. "dooon't wannnaaa.."

You reach down and pat her head.
"Hey, go on. I'll find you two after you get out of the meeting."
Erica and Trude half-carry Ursula out the door.

Left there all alone in the infirmary, you ponder on what to do next.

[ ]rest
[ ]other

>>18113819

rest.

>>18113819
>[✓]other
Drink our healing potion, just to be sure.

>>18113819
See if we can contact Mike, see whats up, maybe see if he knows anything about that vivid dream.

>>18113833
Lets not do what a certain character does in another quest...so rest.

>>18112638
I like that chart.
I'll use that for later updates. Keeps your capabilities listed handily

>>18113851
wrong link
>>18113819

>>18113848

Do that when we get back.

For now, rest.

>>18113819
Get some rest. This entire week has been just one thing after another. Our body could use the downtime.

>>18113819
Drink potion, have Kraus check our status. Look into brewing a replacement potion.

rolled 15 = 15

>>18113819
Sometimes the body just needs rest.

>>18113848
>>18113867
Even if we wait until we get back to talk to Mike, we could still ask Kraus about the weird dream.

>>18114059
rest while doing this.

Seriously we should build trust with Kraus

>>18114195
>>18114059
Oh, if we're resting, we gotta pull Jakob out and thank him for his exemplary service till now, and apologize for how he got roughed up by Miyafuji and Lucchinni.
Don't forget that he's part of this partnership, too. The Tea Time Trio of Hayate, Kraus, and Jakob.

You decide to rest.
As your head settles back down into the pillow under it, you call out to Kraus.

"So, Kraus. How's my injjuries now?"
"YOURE AS FINE AND DANDY NOW, YOU COCKLUMP. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE DID BUT SHE HEALED YOU UP COMPLETELY."
"I see..." It feels like you're forgetting something.
Unable to remember what it was, you prepare to head to bed.
"WAIT, YOU ASSWIPE." Kraus tells you before you drift off.
"TAKE JAKOB OUT OF YOUR HAT. HE CAN HELP WATCH OVER YOU. AND THE LITTLE FURLUMP SURELY NEEDS TO STRETCH HIS LEGS ONCE IN A WHILE."

After doing as Kraus recommended, you drift off into sleep

>>18114266
>you drift off into sleep
Oh no...not another nightmare.

Hayate is going to wake up screaming this time, won't he?

>>18114280
Yes.

>>18114266
Yes... let us work on our third blond.

It was afternoon when you woke up again. The open window letting in a welcome breeze.
You look around; hoping to find a familiar face.

There are bandages on your arms and head are now gone, and the headache now just a dull pain in the back of your head. You sit up and observe your surroundings.

There, changing the water in a vase of flowers, you see her.
Who do you see oh master butlers?
Best roll of first five.

>>18114266

that blush has me hard.

might not be gay for Bridget, But I am gay for Hayate

rolled 31 = 31

>>18114367
"May I have something to drink?"

Time to try to make a potion.

rolled 13 = 13

>>18114367
Lynnette.

"May I have some tea? Early Gray? Hot?"

rolled 27 = 27

>>18114367
TWINS THEY WERE

rolled 38 = 38

>>18114367

Godess Kemina

rolled 55 = 55

>>18114401
This.

rolled 30 = 30

>>18114367

Hue

Hue hue

>>18114404
no. NOT YET.

My body is not ready.


Also, modded that susan and Kraus pic i posted earlier.

>>18114401
>Early Grey

I should kill you for that.

>>18114451
>>18114401
>Early Gray
>Early
FUCKING AUTOCORRECT!

rolled 22 = 22

>>18114451
Well... at least it's better than Afternoon Gray?

'HMS SOFTNESS II JUST OFF THE STARBOARD BOW!' an imaginary sailor in your head alerts you.
'SPREAD SAILS! PREPARE THE BOARDING PARTY!' you reply in your imaginary captains hat while waving your imaginary saber.

"oh hello, Did i disturb you?" the Softness2 hails you as she notices you now fully awake

>brb lunch

>>18114545
Not at all, I think it's about time to wake up anyway.

rolled 89 = 89

>>18114545
"Oh, no, miss, I was just waking up. May I trouble you for a cup of tea? Earl Grey, hot."

>>18114545
>>18114604
>Serve eachother tea


HNNNNGGGGG

rolled 87 = 87

>>18114545
"Nope. Sleep is for the weak. And the strong, when they're being lazy."
>>18114604
>butler
>asking for tea
NOPE.

you know I was thinking about the twins. While nice there are more conquest out there. With the way we seem to be going it looks like we are gonna be super exclusive forever club.

that is no way to get into the pants of kemina/other people

>>18114637
>kemina
KEIMA.
>pants
So you want to break their hearts? That's gonna end well.
Personally I think we should work on loving, caring harem.

>>18114653
Agreed.

>>18114545
No I was had some weird dreams and it woke me up.

>>18114637
I think discussion earlier boiled down to keeping the twins as steady girlfriends and taking opportunities such as dicking Keima once we get him into girl mode as they came.

Personally I think we should start making this world into a harem world or at least be friends with benefits with all the witches.

The log of Miguel Rozario SantaCruz Y Cabrillo,
[03-02 BD4432]

WIth most of the trainees out for vacation, my days have gotten a bit easier.
I'm finally able to catch up with the paperwork that's been piling up.

But then again, just having quiet days like this can be a little boring.
I should spar with Hayate as soon as he gets back, maybe rope that beardface Kringle into the match.
I'd like to see how he'll react to how well my pupil has improved.

On a side note, I visited the dorms to check out that Fudge cavern Shirou Emiya has been digging.
I have no idea how he did it, but the amount of tunnels and rooms inside the walls of fudge far exceed the total area of the town.
I must look into having him tested for spatial distortion capabilities.

Some personel have reported seeing a pair of suitcases flying around. I should check if Rood down in R&D is planning some prank again, I want in.

-Entry ends.

>>18114653

No I meant Female Kemina from Gurren Laggan.

and How do we establish caring harem with jealous Erica

>>18114545
If we are rested and healthy, it is time to begin serving again. "Miss, could I offer you tea? How would you...take it?"

>>18114729
>fudge tunnels
Oompa-loompas, here we come!

>flying suitcases
Oh those twins will be hilarious.

>>18114731
You mean Kamina. And Kamina hasn't been introduced as a character in this quest yet.
>>18114747
ZING!

>>18114729
Ok we need Shirou to turn up in some fudge helmet and armour when we get back to the Bureau

I swear that word never looks right when I write it

rolled 8 = 8

>>18114747
I like it.

>>18114769
>>18114789
The we would also have include Yoko or the softness III

rolled 52 = 52

Wait. ROOD is in the Bureau?
the warforged door?

tell lynette:
"can you fluff my pillows for me?"

>>18114769

Ah mis read some of the previous quest entries then sorry everyone, just wanted a big sister type character for Hayate, that would joke around with us and be our wing women.

"No, you didnt." It was about time i got up anyway."
"Well would you like some tea? I was about to go and get some."

[ ] her teacozy around your kettle
[ ] your leaves in her pot

>>18114832
Yes. He's Ursula's handler.

>>18114917
"Madam, I am a butler. It is against my code of honour to allow others to serve me tea. I shall accompany you."

>>18114917
Our leaves in her pot.

her teacozy around your kettle

not sure if tit fuck
but tit fuck

>only not sure but sure pic i have

>>18114917
Leaves in pot.

We are a gentleman after all.

>>18114917
I don't know what I'm voting for, but:
[x]your leaves in her pot

>>18114917
[X] her teacozy around your kettle

"Please, allow me, miss. I am a butler, allow me to serve you."

>>18114917

Show this British-Analog Lady how a GERMAN GENTLEMAN makes TEA.

[X] Her teacozy around your kettle
>I'd like to see Kraus's reaction to being held by the HMS Softness II.

>>18114917
Don't know what the choices mean but they both sound promising.

I'll go with our leaves in her pot.

>>18114917
>[X] her teacozy around your kettle

I'll take 12.

>>18114979
Hayate is Japanese. He's just dating two Germans.

>>18115097
Well, yes, Hayate is Japanese. He's also working with a German butler aesthetic.

>>18115097

But he has Kraus. He may be a genetic Japanese, but we are a TRADITIONAL GERMAN BUTLER at heart. You are how you act...

Basically: >>18115110

>>18114917

Vague choices like this are why I hate Bioware.

I have no idea if we're telling her to fuck off or we're going to serve tea, or if we're going to proposition her.

I'm afraid.

>>18114956
>>18114961
Not sure what manner of innuendo that is supposed to be, but it sounds better.

>>18114917

>her teacozy around your kettle
>your leaves in her pot

I... i have no idea what you're asking.

And I'm normally pretty good at understanding fucked up metaphors.

>>18115176

And with LGD, as well you SHOULD be.

>Fuck, now I'M worried about the route I just voted for...

>>18115208
Lemme break it down for you
Teacozy is soft, kettle has a spout.
I think you can figure out what 'leaves' and 'pot' are on your own.

OP: It may be that we are all channeling Shirou, but I don't think anyone here knows what the fuck we voted for. So, please mark one vote for serving tea while continuing with subtle innuendo. I don't particularly want to do anything, but leaving her hot and bothered for deniable reasons seems like a good way for a butler to proceed.

>>18115236
Semen and her butthole?

>>18115209

At least I'm not the only one.

Man, clever metaphors are fun, as long as you get the joke.

There's a point where you're about as lost as a Dyslexic kid at a spelling bee.

"Madam, I am a butler. It is against my code of honour to allow others to serve me tea. I shall accompany you." You tell her as you get out of the bed.

She leads you through the castle back to the lounge you first saw her in yesterday.
There you prep Kraus and begin making tea,

WHAT TEA DO WE SERVE HER?

>>18115279
Earl Grey for classy British lasses, of course.

>>18115279

Man, I don't know what the fuck is even going on anymore.

>>18115279
I'm not familiar with Strike Witches canon, but this chick is British, right? Earl Grey.

>>18115271

Or as cracked out as Gary Busey on a motorcycle.

>>18115293 THIS.

A fancy English tea for a fancy English-like Lady.

>>18115279
Assam.

>>18115271

>There's a point where you're about as lost as a Dyslexic kid at a spelling bee.

Congratulations, 4chan. Me laughing at that is a clear sign that I'm a worse person than I was a year ago.

>>18115279
Darjeeling.

>>18115279
Darjeeling. Refreshing, with a clean finish. Tricky to brew properly, but that had ought to be no challenge to a true butler.

>>18115279
Wait tea?

I thought we were going to have sex with her

>>18115279
Anything but Earl Grey. It's such a boring tea and, more importantly, a MIXED tea. Let's give her some kind of good black tea, like Assam or Darjeeling.

You put together some Earl Grey, her british accent cluing you in to waht she might enjoy.

You also serve some scones and biscuits.
After she's comfortably sipping on some tea, you decide to chat her up.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-
WHAT SAY OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>her cozy around your kettle
SHE SERVES YOU

>your leaves in her pot
YOU SERVE HER

>>18115346
Tea first, tits later.

>>18115358
Some sort of innuendo about leaves and cozies.

>>18115346

>Assuming with LGD as the DM.

>Well there's your problem.jpeg.

>>18115358
Let's be the consummate gentleman, and ask her about herself.

>>18115358
Introduce yourself. apologize for fooling her into thinking you were a girl.

also sample that soft.

>>18115312
>>18115293
NO! That is a sweeping generality. As it seems we missed breakfast, such a heavy flavored tea is not appropriate. It must be either a Darjeeling, an Assam, or an Oolong.

>>18115358

Small talk, ask her about herself.

>>18115406
Agreed. It seems that a huge bulk of people in this thread don't know shit about tea.

>>18115406
But going too light makes it seem as if you do not respect the lady's taste buds, not to mention her palate.

>>18115358
Ask her about her duties here. Not too pressing. Just try to get a feel for the comrade of our lovers.

>>18115425
No, it doesn't. This is the afternoon, not morning. We served a tea that's only to be served in the morning. This is the time for a delicate Darjeeling, not an overpowering and orangey Earl Grey.

>>18115422
There is more to serving someone than just knowing about the beverage, personal taste and cultural knowledge can be just as important

>>18115425
False

>>18115446
In English tea culture it's bad to serve Earl Grey and other strong, mixed teas after the morning. Afternoon teas are supposed to be light ones. I was making the statement under the presumption of the tea culture specific to this woman's particular nationality.

Earl Grey isn't some 'universal British tea.' It's exceptionally situational.

>>18115425
None of the varieties I mentioned are truly light. It is just that the lack of bergemot oil makes them less overpowering. The more subtle flavors of those varieties would be more appropriate for later drinking.

>>18115444

Fine. Light it is, Mr. Fancypants.

How about a nice mint based herbal infusion. A bit of 'new-aged' ideas to take her by surprise. Call it a new experience. That ought to take her by surprise.
(I don't 'do' tea myself... Usually go for a cheap herbal tea becuase I am an american PoorFag...)

>>18115471
Yet for many british people they drink it at any time, there is a vast difference between the higher classes and the others

God DAMN /tg/ you really DO know everything.

>>18115507
This girl is an officer in the 1940s. She probably takes her tea seriously.

>>18115507
The only people who drink Early Grey in the afternoon are people who don't feel they can afford the luxury of keeping around two or more types of tea. They choose a morning tea because they're a lot more likely to miss afternoon tea than their morning cup. That's the reason.
>>18115497
Well, that would be fine if we were serving her some kind of green or herbal tea, but...

rolled 73 = 73

>>18115358

Lipton!

Yes, I know... I'm a bad person for suggesting a pre-packaged brand...
But honestly... I really don't care

>>18115553
Back in your hole pleb.

>>18115553

>GET OUT. You traitor.

Hey guys, I don't think the LG's going to fuck us because we don't know every micro-factoid about tea in the fucking universe.

Given that most of 4chan is American, and I know there's other cultures and countries on here but I'm talking majority, and most of us tend to see America as a sole Island of awesome surfing the void of space on the backs of an unending tide of migrant workers.

It's safe to assume that on average, we have no fucking clue what we're doing with the subtleties of different kinds of tea. Shit, until about a year ago when a brit moved into the dorms on exchange, I didn't even KNOW there were different kinds of tea, because nobody sat me down and explained that shit.

We're firmly in 'rule of cool' territory, where little quibbles go fuck themselves in favor of momentum.

And I know this post is probably going to piss of like 15 different people.

>>18115553
...that's a brand. That's not even a type. Are you talking about the Lipton English Breakfast Tea? I assume you are. Also, we're a butler. This is the exact sort of thing we HAVE to care about.

>>18115574
That and coffee.
>>18115571
I'm not mad. Just disappointed.

>>18115571
Depends where you are in America.

I've been places where diners don't even serve prepackaged teabags and other places where there are specialty tea stores every five blocks.

>>18115589
That's what you get for living in a country that runs on coffee though.

Personally I love my tea so I think I am lucky as all hell that Australians still like our tea

>>18115571
Dude, this is the beardiest board on the chans. I know shit about tea and I live in the US. I am too poor to drink the good stuff every day, so knowing what I want when I do get a choice is important.

>>18115574

Knowing him, it's problebly just a 'sweet tea'. I like sweet tea and all, but it is NOT for a 'Lady'. PERIOD.

>>18115637 Another gentleman who knows my sorrows! (Though I DO like Sleepytime tea...)

>>18115416
>>18115392
>>18115406

You introduce yourself.
"I'm sorry for giving you a false name yesterday.. I'm Ayasaki Hayate, a trainee from the IDPKB. The Hartmann's invited me here when we were let out for vacation. I would also like to thank you for your help yesterday, miss...?" you tell her with an elegant bow.
"Oh Im Lynette, Lynette Bishop." she informs you. "No, I was surprised at first when everyone told me you were actually a guy, the clothes looked so good on you, but i guess since it was Erica all behind it, I can't quite blame you.

"So miss Lynette, are you also a combatant?" You ask her as you eye her twin hulls.
"Y-yes. But i don't like fighting that much." she answers, with a shake of her head that also shaked her mountains of soft. "I was the squadron's designated sniper. I'm glad the fighting is finally over. Now we can all try and go back to normal."

The two of you spend a few more minutes chatting about tea and pastries when someone walks in.
"Oh, hey Hayata! Heard you had a little accident last night. You feeling better now?"
"SOMETHING SMELLS DELICIOUS!" added a shriller voice.
Shirley and Lucchinni walk into the lounge, no doubt led there by the smell of freshly steeped tea.
'USS SOFTNESS and ITS WASHINGBOARD have sailed into harbor!' your imaginary first mate reports to you.
'ALL HANDS ON DECK! PREPARE TO REPEL FIRE FROM THE WASHINGBOARD. GET BOARDING TEAMS ON THE SOFTNESS!' you shout your commands to you imaginary crew.

>>18115607

Well yeah, cultural melting pot and all. You'll find everything if you look.

But it's more often true than not that we have no clue in 'Merica.

>>18115662
"Would you like some tea? We're having a late breakfast, on account of me having just woken up."

There we go. Now the Earl Grey is being presented in a more appropriate context.

>>18115662
ALRIGHT /teagee/ IT'S TIME TO PUT YOUR TEA KNOWLEDGE TO THE TEST
SOFTEST TEA?
FLATTEST TEA?
GO.

>>18115662

We need to call in reinforcements from the Bismark and it's twin, The Tirpitz.

>>18115662
Ask if they would like some tea as well. If we don't have enough chairs, conjure more. Might be time to ask for Jakob's assistance.

>>18115690
That's the ticket! By making it a late breakfast, the Earl Grey is not only acceptable, but ideal!

rolled 14 = 14

>>18115662
>"Oh, hey Hayata! Heard you had a little accident last night. You feeling better now?"
Looking at zucchini:
I did have a SMALL accident, yes, I'm just glad I wasn't FLATTENED...
Looking at Charlotte:
I guess I'll just have to practice more to try and make my landings SOFTER... so soft..

>>18115690

Sounds good.

>>18115693

Flattest tea
>Anything prepackaged in a plastic sealed box.

Softest tea
>Ummm... Chamomile infusion?

>>18115690
>Smooth Customer, this one.

>>18115690
Well played sir.

>>18115739

Come on man, tit jokes?

Other than the twins, all we really have is our dignity.

>Remembers the forced cross-dressing incident.

All we have is our extreme delusions of dignity.

>>18115662
We either need to get Sakura here or flatness to the bureau, an imagine the result of finally having someone who could keep up with Sakura

"yes. I'm fine now. Miyafuji did her sparkle-magic-thing on me and fixed me right up."
"Would you ladies like some tea?" you offer them

"Im normally a coffee drinker but i'll take you up on that offer." The SOFTNESS tells you.
"Got anything sweet?" the WASHIBOARD adds.

"Of course ladies, anything you want."
YOu tell them as you wist them down

==-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>guy from management handing out home made chocolates.
> grab 3 off his tray.
>eat first one. delicious dark.
>eat second. Milkchoco, raisins
>eat third. FFFFFFFFFF
>HOLYSHIT WHY IS IT SO HOT?!
>realize it was filled with chili peppers.

>>18115786

I was thinking of giving Sakura something caffeinated on the sly, just to see what happens.

My money is that she starts tapping speed-force and puts a few dents in load-bearing walls.

If asked we can always claim we thought it was de-caff.

>>18115797
>chilli chocolate
whywouldyoudothat.jpg

>>18115797
I fucking love chocolate with chilis or cinnamon. It reminds me of my abuela's.

rolled 58 = 58

>>18115765
>Remembers the forced cross-dressing incident.
>Remembers the MULTIPLE cross-dressing incidents
>All we have is our extreme delusions of dignity.
Well... At least we are friendly

Fix'd

>>18115690
There we go! A butler at heart!

>>18115827
It's pretty ordinary in Latin countries.

>>18115797

Serve it up nice and hot, bring Jakob out for some fresh air, continue small-talk.

>>18115810

>Slip Sakura esspresso.

"Hey Hayate, what're you drinking?"
"Coffee."
"Can I have some?"
"You sure? It's pretty bitter."
"Yep!"

Five seconds later....

"Hey Mike."
"Hey kid, have you seen Sakura?"
Point at loli-shaped hole in wall.

>>18115797
A straight cup for Shirley, a cup with a spoon full of honey stirred in for Zuchinni.

>>18115853
If we give her cafe cubano, she'll probably even like the taste.

rolled 49 = 49

>>18115866
She is Italian...
What kind of tea do Italians drink?

>>18115810
>>18115866
>>18115853

Just so we're completely clear on this, we're going to WEAPONIZE the team's cute mascot/artillery strike?

>>18115853
We must try this.

Shit we must make majaik infused coffee for even more energy boost, saying it is our special blend so things like bunny mode doesn't outright KO us

>>18115853
Use the rabbit to get rid of the washboard, I like it.

>>18115897
They usually prefer caffe by a pretty wide margin. Often latte drinks.

>>18115693
>/teagee/
That just cracked me up. No real clue why.

>>18115899
That's the plan.

Still want to grab washboard and introduce her to Sakura, it would be awesome

You serve the two new arrivals and allow themselves to get settled in. Since you've missed dinner, breakfast and lunch you decide to join them.

Taking your hat, you pull Jakob out with your now customary 'TADAH~'. Lynette claps her hands at this cute trick. And the flat-one instantly tries to reach for him.

"Im sorry." you tell luchinni as you keep jakob away from her reach, "But J, is TOO SMALL right now for what i have in mind."
she throws you a glare.
"I'll need him MUCH BIGGER than this."

You activate J's Laplace mode much to the admiration of Charlotte and Lynette. The flat-on now deciding to stare daggers at you from behind a glass of iced-tea

YOu settle yourself down into a chair as jakob takes over for you.

On either side sits THE SOFTNESS and SOFTNESS-II, both doing a good job of distracting you.

WHAT DO NOW OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18115918

Don't think 'grabbing' her would be a good idea. I would support telling the twins that one reminds us of the other, and how we think they'd hit it off if they met.

>>18115921
Chat up the American

>>18115921
"So, who wants to see me in a skirt again?"

>>18115897
Italians lean more towards coffee

>>18115921
Do not be tempted into letting down our guard. Chat up Charlotte.

>>18115936

No, bad.

We're not encouraging this behavior.

And we really only tolerate the twins doing it.

>>18115936
This.

But phrase it more like "who wants to see a trick" then bunny mode speed a bit

>>18115965
Okay, okay. "So, since I saw all of your tits at the bath, who wants to see my cock to be even?"

>>18115936
No, we're not going to encourage them like that. It will only lead to us needing the whistle.

>>18115921

Let's see what kind of HUEHUEHUE we can get ourselves into.

(I'm going to metagame for a sec here and ask if Yager can be coerced into helping Ursula modify the Striker units into working on us.)

>>18115936
>>18115969

Dammit guys.

This is neither the time or the place.

>>18115921
Chat and/or bask in SOFTNESS.
>>18115981
You're just trying to get HUE aren't you?

>>18115981
So it's obvious that you're trying to get us killed. Not only that, but breaking the gentlemanly persona that Hayate has been crafting.

rolled 22 = 22

>>18115983
The twins are in a meeting, and who's to say that we would use the whistle to protect us from the SOFTNESS

>>18116012
>>18116016
Yes. I am trying to get a HUEHUEHUE.

>>18115934
Alternatively,
"You know, there's a member of the squad Erica and I are on that you remind me of, Luchinni."
Describe Sakura, end with the fact that (as LG has mentioned) she's 8 years old.

>>18115981
Bad Anon. No biscuit.

>>18115981
>>18115969
>>18115936

Did this quest just have a sudden influx of stupid?

Before you can begin to think of doing something THE SOFTNESS begins to chat you up.
"So, Hayata. What exacty happened to you last night to get you into the infirmary with a bandaged head? Did Erica get too frisky? Did you forget to say the safe-word?"

You guess the twins are hiding the fact that you were testing an experimental striker unit.
"Oh it was nothing HUGE like that Miss Yeager. It was just all a BIG miscalculation on my part that left me with an ENORMOUS bump on the head. My only wish was that i could have hit something SOFTER."

She leans in closer, her bunker-busters coiming into full view, "Oh? And why was it that Miyafuji said you had no pants on when she went there to patch you up?"

>>18116051
Sudden influx, with what was already here getting a boost.

>>18116066
SHIT. EATING. GRIN.

>>18116066
Well you know how it is, you go enjoy yourself a bit and you wake up with no pants and a fractured skull the next morning

>>18116051

Most likely trying to 'Make up' for the gentlemanly discussion we had earlier concerning the Benefits of Teas and their flavors.

>>18116066

"A Gentleman NEVER reveals his lady's secrets"
> then >>18116087

>>18116066
"Actually, if anyone could be blamed, it would be myself and Ursula."

>>18116066
"I am sorry, but a butler never reveals his mistresses' secrets."

>>18116066
A gentleman must always be dressed appropriately for the evening's activities. Even if they ARE interrupted by misfortune. If you don't mind me changing the subject, I was just talking to Miss Bishop about your unit. Could you tell me about your role?

>>18116066

I just noticed the censoring image.
>GOD DAMN IT, FUCKING SHIROU!!!!!!

"I am sorry, but a butler never reveals his mistresses' secrets." You say as you try your best to look her in the face. You then follow up with the largest shit eating grin you could muster.

"I see. So you're a feisty one aren't you. You weren't like that in the baths, You were such a good 'girl' then.
I never did get to see you long enough in that maid uniform you know?"

She then reveals a small bundle she had been hiding somewhere.
"and guess who just happened to walk by the laundry earlier..."

[ ]whistle
[ ]run
[ ]CRAZY IVAN

>>18116245
>[✓] whistle
They gave it to us for a good reason, it seems.

>>18116245
STOP!

HAMMERTIME!

>>18116245
Whistle, then run. We need to be able to say we at least tried to fight it.

rolled 99 = 99

>>18116245
>[x]CRAZY IVAN

>>18116245
We know how to deal with this. First we

[X]run

then we get caught, dressed up, and spend some quality time with the SOFTNESSES

>>18116245
[x]whistle
[x]CRAZY IVAN

>>18116245

[X] RUNNNNNN!!!!

NO HUEHUEHUE!!!
>Implying I would not crazy ivan if we wanted to get away.

rolled 19 = 19

>>18116245
>[ ]run
DO IT MAN!

>>18116245
Remember gentlemen. We don't actually want to escape.

>>18116245
[x] CAZY IVAN
[x] WHISTLE

>>18116276
This. The Hartmann's may dress us up as they wish, but no damn yankey tittymonster is going to copy that!

>>18116245
Put up a valiant attempt to escape but fail.

Let's be honest if we whistle all that will happen is the twins will help them.

And this way we get to spend more time in the softness

>>18116245
Run while holding the whistle in our mouth, so our frenzied panting blows it with each stride.

>[x]crazy ivan.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!" you yell out.
You pull your head back and headbutt her square in her massive mammaries. This sends her reeling back enough for you to get up, grab the teapot that was Kraus and jump out of the nearest window.

'J. I leave you with cleaning up there. Come find me later when I don't have witches allover me.'
You call out mentally to your footman.

'Very well sir.' he replies with a bow in your mind.

You are now sprinting away from the castle looking for somewhere to hide
[ ]hangars
[ ]beach
[ ]garden
[ ]OTHER

rolled 47 = 47

>>18116245
Bunny mode!

>>18116372
HANGERS, WE MUST TAKE SHELTER WITH THE GNOMES

rolled 33 = 33

>>18116372
Hangars.

>>18116372
[x] hangars
Take Sean up on his offer earlier.

>>18116372
Mentate to Erica and Ursula, asking them if they're done with their meeting. WE NEED TO HAVE THE TALK.

>>18116372

[X] Hangar, let's chat up the Gnomes some more.

rolled 96 = 96

>>18116372
>[x]hangars

And then flying saucer up and hide in the rafters...

>>18116372

Titty monster's bed room, she'll never look for us there, hiding under the sheets, almost naked, pleading with her to please be gentle.

rolled 17 = 17

[ ]Hangars

It's our only hope

>>18116411
>THE TALK
>while SOFTNESS is chasing us with a maid outfit
NOPE.

>>18116372
No this is all wrong

Hangers I guess.

rolled 93 = 93

>>18116411
On this subject, I feel that having "the talk" is a bad idea, while I'm not of the mindset that we should aim for the harem end, I don't think getting too serious is pertinent at this time. We don't know how much longer we'll be training at the Bureau before we're sent back to our own dimension and the twins back to theirs, effectively rendering this a long term relationship. Alternatively, what if one twin wants to get serious and the other isn't ready yet.

rolled 55 = 55

Actually, why are we even running?

We once showed off bunny mode to all the girls at the academy because they requested it and that a butler accepts all request.

This is more of a SWQ MC action than that of Susan.

You run all the way down to the hangars, hoping the large buildings and the groups of men [mechanics/aircrew] would protect you from being too molested.

You sprint all the way inside the particular hangar you were inside yesterday.

Sean spots you running in as he sits on a bench polishing his sword.
"let me guess?" he stands up to meet you. "Yeager-tits after you?"

"Yes." you answer while panting. "But before anything else, Why aren't you wearing any pants?"

>>18116527

>OH GO HUEHUEHUE.

Shit.

>>18116527
BACK OUT. OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT.

>>18116527
NOPE

>>18116519
Because she did not phrase it in the form of a request for a butler.

Though, you have a point. I think this dimension is getting to us.

>>18116519
That is a very good point.

>>18116517
We do get some leeway where we are assigned, and we aren't assigned to our home dimension we are sent where needed.

We might actually stay as a team for parts of our field work too

>>18116527
>Sean not wearing pants
Maybe he's wearing a kilt?
But wait, he's Irish. That doesn't work, right?

>>18116580
Kilts are Irish too.

rolled 70 = 70

>>18116567
Oh, Thanks for clearing that up...

>>18116527
Aaaaaaaargh run away from the pants less gnome.

Nothing good comes from nearly naked men with big swords

Or hear softness in pursuit and run while saying seeya

>>18116519
actually you only showed bunnymode to ERICA, and that was only when she forced you into the costume via her Device

The only one you showed it to upon request was Keima.

Sakura and Nanoha only saw Provisional bunny mode. Your butler uniform with bunny ears.

The "showed everyone" scenario was a bad end leading to a pizza rape orgy.

>>18116604

I stand corrected then though I still say we're running way too much.

>>18116604
The "showed everyone" scenario was a bad end leading to a pizza rape orgy.The "showed everyone" scenario was a bad end leading to a pizza rape orgy.

so can we have a snu snu huehuehue with the softness MK1 and MK2?

>>18116622
We'll stop running when Charlotte gets us within earshot and asks us to put the maid uniform on. At that point, butler-mode engages and we must do as the person we are serving requests.

Running is the way to stay out of earshot so that we can't hear a request we want to avoid.

I wouldn't even mind seeing what Charlotte is going to do to us if she catches us, even if it is a [BAD END]
>>18116629
>softness MK1 and MK2
I'm totally stealing that for use further along in the game...

>>18116527
We have flying saucers, Why are we running instead of Silver Surfer-ing away?

>>18116700
Because we don't want to get away.

>>18116700
Be ause it is less to escape that is the point but more to make them work for it.

Also if we saucer they striker and strikers are faster than our saucers probably

There's basic training. advanced training, and then field training.

Mike mentioned you guys will be stuck as a team throughout the training period.
Field training will be handled by a different instructor/feild agent

SCENARIO!!!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
You and the twins step out of the Stargate back into the Bureau.
As you walk down the ramp you notice a man in grey futuristic armor walking up. He has an axe and a sword strapped to his back and a heavy looking pistol strapped to his thigh.

instead of a helmet he wears a stylished military hat with a two headed eagle on it.

As he walks by you, Erica says, "Nice hat."
"Thanks," he says "your's too."
before he steps into the Stargate.
a moment later multiple women burst into the room chasing after him yelling "MAX!"

>>18116700
Somewhat meta, but partly because we're panicking, and partly because we are nowhere near as skilled as any of the Witches in air combat.

>>18116700
>Why are we running instead of Silver Surfer-ing away?
Because if we try to fly away, in a Strike Witch airbase, that's when Charlotte puts on her own Strikers and bounces us.

Idea!
Step 1: Get on Saucer
Step 2: Hide under Cup
Step 3: DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!

>>18116727
>HLQ's MAX in the Bureau
>Rance AND Max getting all the bitches

>>18116727
>MFW

>>18116727
Imokwiththis.jpg

We need to take lessons from the love commissar

>>18116739
>>18116723

But their strikers weren't in the lounge and our saucers were...

>>18116808
This universe runs on rule of cool and hammer space.

She will have them if she wants to chase us down

>>18116808
Our saucers were being used to serve tea.

"Well that asshole spilled gun-oil on them earlier."
he says with a jerk to the black plane in the middle of the hangar "Might as well go with the local fashion instead of running back to my room to get fresh ones."

"So, you come here to hide huh?" he continues. "bad news, she'll expect you to be in here."

Plane-guy climbs out of the plane and walks up to you. "I have an idea. Well hide you in plain sight."
He then grabs an plastic barrel from a stack piled up against the wall.
"Get in, and stay as quiet as you can. I'll distract them."

[ ] get in
[ ] get in
[ ] get in

>>18116863
[x] Take Ilya home.

>>18116527

>No pants.
>Polishing sword.

That's an unfortunate turn of phrase.

I hope.

In any case "Is there somewhere I can hide? The twins are in a meeting and I'm not sure the whistle does what your friend said."

>>18116863
>[✓] get in
He's totally going to give us to them.

rolled 19 = 19

>>18116863
Gettin' in and rollin' to keep quiet.

>>18116863

Gee, it's so nice to see ALL THE CHOICES WE HAVE.

>>18116863

Get in.

Ready watch.

rolled 82 = 82

>[x ] get in
The second one, as it will obviously have sexy results.

>>18116863
This is a trap.

>>18116898
Duh. That's why we're doing it.

>>18116863
Get in the most conspicuous barrel.
she will expect us to be in the one hidden in the corner

>>18116863
This is a trap. Let's run headfirst into it.

[x] get in

>>18116889

THIS.

If he betrays us, stop time, hide in plane.

>>18116889
>>18116918

These. These so hard.

>>18116863
"can't i just hide in the plane?" you ask them
"NOPE." She'll know to look there.
He pokes a couple of airholes into the barrel, and opens the lid.
"now get in, I think they're close."

You lower yourself into the barrel and the guys close the lid.
You sit in the darkness and wait.
A few moments later, from outside you hear the muffled voices of Charlotte and Lucchinni.
You keep as quiet as you can

>>18116937

READY THE WATCH.

>>18116937
>>18116953

I have the odd feeling we're going to be betrayed.

When/if we are, stop time and get the FUCK out of there.

>>18116937
>Get handed over
>Softness pulls us out of the barrel
This isn't where I parked my car...

>>18116937
Dust in the barrel will cause us to sneeze I bet

>>18116974
Time Stop, and pain in big letters on the side of the Widow "GNOMES".

But that's if we're betrayed by MC NGAF and Sean.

You sit in the cramped darkness as long as you could. Your sense of time becoming hazy.

You are suddenly jolted by motion. you feel the barrel being moved and you hear it's bottom striking a metal floor.
"Wha~" you begin to call out "Wait there's someone in here!"

You hear the roar of airplane engines as the barrel shudders.
"This is supply-flight Alpha-Charlie 514 en-route to Liberion, requesting tower for take-off."
You hear from the outside.
"Roger that 514. Runway is clear and you may take her up" comes a reply through a radio.
The shaking increases.

>>18116937

PLUG EARS. NOW. MUTE YOUR HEARING AS BEST YOU CAN BEFORE THEY SMACK THE BARREL.

>>18117037
Motherfucker.

Summon a knife and cut our way out. Get out of the plane and onto a saucer.

>>18117037
Did they just load us into a cargo plane?

>>18117037
Teleport out! That or time stop and crawl out.

>>18117037
Yeah yeah, shake the barrel all you want, I'm not falling for it.

>>18117037
Have Kraus materialize a knife so we can cut out of here, and get off the plane before it takes off.

>>18117037
This amuses me...

>>18117037
Right, right. Hazing the new guy, right?

Time Stop, get out of the barrel, stand behind MC McChucklefucks, restore time.

>>18117037
[x] Timestop

>>18117062
See, the thing is this: either they traded us over (she knows and is waiting), she noticed the airholes (she know and is waiting), they actually loaded us onto the plane (they may just be tricking the witches and somehow planning on dropping us off somewhere safe, but do you really want to assume that...)

I'd say timestop to get out, but they may have sealed the barrel past what we can get out of quickly. A teleport may be in order. But first and foremost, try to peak out of those airholes.

>>18117089
>[x] Timestop
[x]Shread barrell with knife
and then
>>18117080
>Time Stop, get out of the barrel, stand behind MC McChucklefucks, restore time.

You try and push off the top on the barrel. It won't nudge.
You try and reach for a knife, or a watch. The confined barrel won't allow you to reach down.

YOu resort to yelling.
"DONT TAKE OFF! DONT TAKE OFF! IM IN HERE"
But the sounds of the engines drowns your voice out.

"Tower this is 514, now taking off."
You feel forward movement...
"Roger that 514, Have a safe flight."
you feel the pull of lift-off.

>>18117119
You forgot an option
They're fucking with us by rocking the barrel themselves and she doesn't know.

>>18117140

MC McChuckleFucks will PAY FOR THIS.

>>18117140
MENTATE TO ERICA AND URSULA. BEG THEM FOR HELP.

>>18117140
Get comfy. Gonna be a long flight.

>>18117140
It's obviously the witches in their strikers and not an actual plane...

>>18117140
>You try and reach for a knife,
Can't Kraus just make one appear in our hand?

Also, since we are apparently ACTUALLY TAKING OFF, I think we got handed off to SOFTNESS and WASHBOARD.

[x]Ask Kraus for suggestions.

>>18117140
This could still be part of an elaborate prank on the part of MC and Sean.

Can Kraus activate in this confined space and do a limited teleportation?

>>18117140
Hmmm. I think I'm solidly in the camp of it being a trick pulled just by the gnomes at this point.
We start planning just what we're going to write "GNOME" on their foreheads during a timestop. Surely there is some form of grease/oil/gunk available out here that will work if we for some reason can't manage something closer to a marker.

>>18117185
Plane engine oil is very, very thick until it's warmed up.
We might be able to use that. Or some engine grease.

So, gentlemen, how do you get out of this one?

>>18117179
knives and silverware are kept in your pockets.
you can draw them infinitely, BUT they wont appear in your hand

**ROLL 1d100 for escape**
give me a course of action

rolled 78 = 78

ultimate move: punch hole in barrel

rolled 68 = 68

>>18117220
[x] Bunnymode

rolled 10 = 10

>>18117220
Teleport out, then summon a saucer and fly to safety.

rolled 20 = 20

>>18117220
Use Kraus to perform a limited teleportation out of the barrel.

If that doesn't work, can Jakob, make it to us on a saucer in his Laplace-mode? We're still feeding majaik to him, so he could perform actions when we're incapacitated.

rolled 27 = 27

>>18117241
sooo. youre three times as fast sitting still in a barrel?

THIS SITUATION WILL ONLY BE SOLVED BY ONE THING
[x] DO A BARREL ROLL

rolled 81 = 81

>>18117220
Use legs and back to push one end off of the barrel, get our hand on our watch and stop time ASAP to assess the situation and counter-troll as necessary.

>>18117268
even if we stop time, we cant still get out of the barrel.
we'd just have 80 seconds more of being trapped

rolled 4 = 4

>>18117220
Materialize Saucer under barrel
Fly around blindly until someone notices we're here.

>>18117220

Timestop + Slice

rolled 3 = 3

>>18117296

forgot roll

>>18117282
The idea is we use the strongest muscles in the body to pop the top or bottom off the barrel, stretch out enough to reach the watch, and get out and have 80 seconds headstart before anyone can react.

>>18117238
You try and punch the top off the barrel.
After about 5 tries you manage to crack it.
A couple more punches and you are free.

You find yourself suspended from a crane on the back of a truck. It's running down the empty tarmac.
large speakers are on it, playing airplane engine sounds.

In the open driver's seat you see Sean and the plane-guy laughing their asses off. A third man is in the bed of the truck doing the same.

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18117357
Stop time and arrange the gentlemen in compromising positions with each other.

rolled 33 = 33

>>18117357
TIME STOP. BUNNY MODE. TELEPORT. LEAVE THEM ALL STRIPPED NUDE ON THE TARMAC.

>>18117357
Laugh with them...
It was a good joke...

>>18117357
Time stop, bunny mode pants them write gnome on their head with whatever is the most permanent marker we have and exit both sitting next to the crane with a table and a cup of tea

rolled 49 = 49

>>18117357
TIME STOP!

Hop down there, have Kraus materialize an oil-based marker for us, and write 'GNOME' on each of their foreheads.

Then we step off to the side, and restore the flow of time.

>>18117357
Laugh it off, congratulate them, when they all gather around time stop, arrange them in compromising positions and sit in the back of the truck with a cup of tea with a stone cold face.

>>18117367

best choice

rolled 45 = 45

>>18117367
This

rolled 71 = 71

>>18117357
Be a good sport about it, for now. Let them have their temporary moment of victory, and laugh it up with them.

Slip genderswap potions into their tea later.

The truck is still moving right?
Timestop.
TAKE CLOTHES
SHRED TIRES.

Then time resume.
let them explain why there in the tarmac in a busted truck naked together

rolled 6 = 6

>>18117394
Seconding this.

rolled 41 = 41

>>18117357
If it's a prank war they want? Challenge accepted.

>>18117416
Nobody beats a magic butler with time powers, invisibility and alchemy in a prank war. NOBODY.

>>18117394
"okay guys, you got me. haha." you tell them from the suspended barrel.
They continue laughing.
Sean stops the truck and the third guy turns off the speakers.

The three of them help you out of the barrel and onto the ground.

"No harm done right?" sean asks
"of course, it was a good prank" you say, your hand reaching into your pocket....


next thing they knew they were stark naked in the middle of the tarmac, stacked on top of each other, covered in honey and raisins.

Written on their forheads with a permanent marker, "GNOMES"

You sit in the truck's passenger seat with a scone and a cup of Darjeeling, enjoying your handiwork.

>>18117464

perfect

>>18117464
Flawless.

rolled 3 = 3

>>18117464
"Kraus, could you place make sure to take a number of photographs, both 2-D and 3-D holographic, of this scene?
"I'm sure some of the ladies on the base would love to see this."

Calmly continue sipping tea.

rolled 39 = 39

>>18117494
Second.

>>18117494
Thirded

>>18117494
Seconding this as a followup. Followed by a genteel and innocent stroll away. And maybe hints that we can direct a few of the witches their way. Or that those maid clothes from earlier could be refitted for them.

>>18117494
Third

rolled 67 = 67

>>18117494

Letter bombs. THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF THEM.

>MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT GAVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS!!!

>>18117494
>I'm sure some of the ladies on the base would love to see this.
Let's change that to "I'm sure some of the ladies on the base would love to have a memento of this moment."

"Kraus, could you place make sure to take a number of photographs, both 2-D and 3-D holographic, of this scene?
I'm sure some of the ladies on the base would love to see this." YOu say loud enough for them to hear.

Sean and the new guy bolt to the hangars as fast as they could trying to cover thier privates.
Plane-guy on the other hand calmly walks to the truck and gets into the driver's seat.

As he drives the two of you back, with him still being fully naked, he says "you know this is just the beginning right?
"Quite." you answer as you drain your tea."

He drops you off by the control tower as he drives the truck back to the motorpool.


WHAT NOW OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18117541
>letter bombs
How about a desktop holo-portrait projector for Minna? Hell, one for everybody. I'm sure that Sakamoto and Charlotte will get a laugh out of them.

rolled 12 = 12

>>18117563
Send the pictures to our angels. Our work will be done at that point.

rolled 2 = 2

>>18117564

Letter bombing thousands upon thousands of xeroxed copies of the pixs is easier to explain away in AU 1940's then a futuristic Hologen.

>>18117563
First, make sure that Kraus got those pictures.

Then, we calmly make our way back to the sitting room and relax until Erica and Ursula get out of their meeting.

>>18117563
Seek out the Softnesses

>>18117563
Man, he's a real class act. I have to admire him, though I fear that this escalating prank-war will eventually end in the entire castle being filled with super-dense explosive fudge.

>>18117585
From the sounds of the meetings, though, this world is going to get a very sudden jump in technology, even worse than if it got hit by an ATN Time Scout.

I don't think hologram projectors will be too out of place, at least for Witches, who will likely have the most interaction with the Bureau.

>>18117594
This.
I'll bet she could help us think up all kinds of pranks we could pull on the gnomes

>>18117607
Heh fudge in the plane

>>18117563
Send the pictures to our ladies, they'll get them into the right hands. If any are really really really horrible keep them in reserve.